Screw the Kitties
by DaniZaraki
Summary: The Ninja world had a hard time handling the Akatsuki, Kat, and Alice. So how will it handle two children raised by the gang of social outcasts, both of whom are just like their parents? Part 3 of a 3 segment story. Four OC warning. Rated T for bad words.
1. Chapter 1

_Why hello there my lovely readers. Either you've been patiently/not so patiently waiting for this, or you were unfortunate enough to stumble upon the spawn of my boredom and lack of social life._

_Good for you._

_Here we have the third segment to what has been called my "Kitty Story". While there we no more Akatsuki kittens after the first part of the story, the name is much easier to say instead of saying the titles._

_But I'm rambling._

_There will be four main OCs. All of the extra OCs will be minor and will have little screen time so don't worry about them. I will warn you that there will be a lot of cussing and violence and whatnot because Alice is bat-shit crazy._

_But you already knew that._

_Anyways, larger author's note down at the bottom. Read it or ignore it but either way, you have to do two things._

_1. Know that I do not in any way, shape, or form own the Akatsuki or the other wonderful characters that belong in the world of Naruto._

_2. Enjoy if at all possible._

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

"Tiburon Shisui Uchiha, get your ass over here right now!" I shouted, pointing to the ground beside me. "Get out of that damn tree!" I glared up the length of a giant ass tree at a little boy with shaggy black hair, pale skin, and different colored eyes.

"But Sori-Danna told me to climb up it using my chakra!" He pouted, looking down at me with attributes that were identical to his father's. "Hidan-oji said I had to too!"

"I don't care what either of them said. I'm your mother. What I say goes. Besides, I'll beat the crap out of them." I stated. "Come here."

He looked away from me stubbornly, crossing his arms and turning up his nose. "I don't want to."

"Tiburon." I repeated, narrowing my eyes and pointing at the ground.

He smirked at me and turned around on the branch he was sitting on. "No."

"Oh hell no." I growled. "Do _not_ make me get Hidan's scythe, Tiburon Uchiha." I crossed my arms. "If you're not down here in twenty seconds, you'll live to regret it. That I promise you."

"Make me!" He shot back.

He is totally my child…

"You got up that tree, you can get down it." I snapped. "Get down here right now. I'll have a talk with that stupid puppet in a minute. And that Jashinist is already on my list. If you don't come here, you won't be going with me and your dad to visit Konoha."

That was a lie. I'd take him anyway, but it's nice to have some leverage over him.

He sighed, the desire to see his biological uncle winning out. "Yes Mommy." I watched him jump from branch to branch until he was close enough to drop to the ground. Once he was on the ground, he ran over to me and looked up at me. I smiled at his adorable face and brushed his hair back out of his eyes.

What? I couldn't stay mad at him. He was adorable.

He looked dead on like Itachi. He just lacked the tear troughs and two black eyes. Instead, his right eye was blue and his left one was black.

"You're so cute." I told him. I kissed his forehead, bending over Sable to do it. Sable licked my face when I was in reach so I had to kiss her too. "You are cute as well, Sable."

"Mommy, boys aren't cute." He huffed. Sable just gave a chaste, low howl that assured me that she knew she was cute.

She did. I told her every five minutes it seemed.

"Yeah whatever." I rolled my eyes. "I tell your dad he's cute all the time."

Tiburon looked away. "So…"

I kissed his forehead. "Come on. We're going to have a little talk with Sasori."

"You're not going to have a mood swing are you?" He asked, raising a perfect eyebrow.

I sighed. "You've been with Hidan recently, haven't you?"

Tiburon shrugged, grabbing my hand. "He ate breakfast with me and Sanaa this morning. But I've seen your temper tantrums so many times that I know when you're gonna have one."

That little brat.

"Don't listen to him anymore. And you better quit hanging out with Sasori. His sarcasm is rubbing off on you." I said with a sigh. "There isn't enough room in the base for anymore sarcastic people."

"Are you sure it's not your sarcasm, mommy?" He questioned. I just stuck my tongue out at him to avoid admitting that he was probably right. He snickered and beamed up at me, knowing what he said was true anyways. I had to smile back at him.

Tiburon, as you might have guessed, has inherited my personality. He is extremely intelligent and he has inherited his father's skill with chakra and ninja skills from what I'm told. His... expertise, however, rested in his knack for pranks.

He has a gift. Last week he had Hidan strung up by his ankles in the middle of one of the deserted hallways. According to him though, Sable is the one who lured Hidan in for him. Sable, being the adorable wolf she is, neither confirmed nor denied those claims.

However, though Tiburon is a little trickster, he also has the love and affection of everyone in the base. Even though he picked on Hidan, Hidan adored him. Kisame and Itachi were his most adamant protectors though.

Kisame treated Tibby like he was his own child. It was so cute. If anything happened to Itachi and me, Kisame would be one of the only people I could trust to take care of our son. Not to mention, Tiburon _loves_ Kisame to the point where he considers Kisame like a third parent.

Anyways, I led my kid back into the base and we traveled through the various hallways until we reached Sasori's workshop. I kicked the door open and glared at him. "You! You damn puppet!"

Sasori sighed and looked around at me. "What?"

"You little," I covered Tiburon's ears, "asshole! How dare you make my kid climb up trees with chakra by himself? I ought to kick your ass!"

Yeah… Tiburon would use the curse words even though Itachi and I gave him like weekly lectures not to. He liked to use them against Hidan in shouting matches.

I'm forbidden to admit it verbally, but those shouting matches were so funny.

Hidan versus a little four year old, screaming their heads off while cussing and threatening each other was hilarious.

"I can still hear you mom. Hidan-oji says bad words like that all the time." Tiburon sighed.

"Hush." I hissed, noticing his attitude was coming out.

He smiled at me. "You yell too loud mommy."

I just made a face at him which made him giggle.

Sasori shrugged. "The kid needs to learn to control his chakra. He's four."

"Exactly, he is four years old." I glared. "Leave him alone, or I'll rip that damn heart container out of your wooden body and curb stomp it. You freak out if Sanaa is left outside by herself. How the fuck is Tiburon any different?"

"He isn't." Sasori told me. "However, Hidan was supposed to be out there watching him. I take it Hidan wasn't."

"No, he was in the kitchen bitching about the lack of prepared food like he always does." I growled. "And it was _your_ turn to train Tiburon today, not Hidan's. Therefore, it is your fault."

He sighed. "I'm surprised all of us survived your pregnancy."

"You're not going to survive post pregnancy if you do that again." I threatened. I grabbed Tiburon's hand and pulled him out of the room, shooing Sable out in front of me. I looked at my kid as we traveled back through the base. "Look Tibby, the next time Sasori tells you to do something like that, tell me please. I don't mind you training. It's the fact that you were out there on your own."

Yeah, I'm paranoid.

Leave me alone.

If you had a son as cute as mine, you wouldn't question me.

"Okay mommy." He smiled. I bit my lip to contain exclamations about how cute he was. So instead of glomping him I picked him up and hugged the shit out of him, kissing the life out of his face.

"Mom!" Tiburon whined in protest. "Quit it!"

Sable trotted along beside us, extremely excited about the love I was giving Tibby.

"No." I smiled, hugging him. "Come on. Let's go find your dad."

"Can you put me down?" He wondered, wiggling a bit.

"No I can't." I told him, squeezing him gently. "You are far too cute. You look just like your dad."

He sighed. "Mom…"

"Don't 'Mom…' me." I said firmly. "It's true."

"Yeah, but I'm a boy. Boys aren't supposed to do this stuff." He explained.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Who have you been talking to? That sounds like something Deidara and Hidan would say."

"Can I have dango later?" My son asked as we passed the kitchen. It was his attempt to avoid ratting out two of his favorite people.

I looked at him, smiling a bit at his adorable face. "If you're good, yes. Though, that means I'll have to make ten batches because once your dad gets started on them, he doesn't stop."

"I'm surprised he hasn't rotted all of his teeth out." Tiburon snickered.

We walked through the base for a bit longer before we reached the hallway my room was on. I set my kid down and we walked to the room. However, Tiburon's namesake came out of his room just as we reached my door. He grinned at us and rumpled my kid's hair before kissing the top of my head.

"Hey Kisame." I smiled.

"Alice." He grinned. "Hey Tibby."

Tiburon pouted and made a show of fixing his now messy hair. "Hi Kisa."

I smirked at him for a minute before looking at the giant blue shark. "What are you doing, Kisame?"

He shrugged. "Going to the kitchen to find some food."

"Ah. I'll make dinner in an hour or two, so don't eat anything too big." I stated. He nodded and patted Sable's head before continuing on his quest for a snack. I pushed open the door to my room once he disappeared and walked inside.

Tiburon ran to the bed the instant the door was opened and he leapt on the mattress. Laughing, he continued jumping on it until Sable hopped up on the bed with him. He egged her on by pulling gently on her tail and pushing her lightly to wind her up.

I huffed and put my hands on my hips. "What have I told you about jumping on the bed?"

Tiburon flopped to the mattress and Sable paused in biting his pants. "Not to do it."

"And what were you just doing?" I wondered, raising an eyebrow.

They looked at each other before looking at me. "Jumping on the bed."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, walking over to them. "You both are lucky you're so cute."

As I sat on the bed, Sable switched positions so she was lying beside Tiburon with her head in his lap. He smiled at her and instantly started petting her. "Where's Daddy?"

"I'm here." Itachi said smoothly, walking out of the bathroom.

I smirked. "Hey there sexy."

"Hi daddy!" Tiburon greeted. Sable gave him a small bark and a tail wag.

Itachi's expression softened as he looked at us and he darted to the bed. He kissed me fully before pecking our son on his forehead. "Hello." He huffed when Sable licked the crap out of his face. "Hi Sable."

Tiburon laughed at him and I held back a snicker.

Itachi narrowed his eyes playfully and pushed Tiburon into the mattress gently before sitting beside me and kissing my cheek. I kissed him back before laying back on the mattress, making Tiburon my pillow. Itachi copied me, using my stomach instead of Tiburon.

Tiburon pet me with a smile while I ran my fingers through Itachi's hair. Sable, jealous that she wasn't the center of attention, took a spot right in between all of us. Tiburon latched onto her, causing her tail to wag at about nine thousand miles per second.

Her tail wagging stopped and she paused in licking Itachi's face to look towards the door, her ears perked. She stayed like that for a moment before her ears flattened and her tail started thumping happily. Itachi used her distraction as a chance to cautiously move his face away from her. If she saw he was moving away, she would attack again.

"Kathryn's back." I sighed.

As if I cued her, Kathryn burst into my room carrying a little girl with blonde hair. She dumped the child on top of Itachi so she could latch onto me.

"Kathryn." I grunted.

"Hi Alice!" She greeted. She looked up and kissed Tiburon's forehead. "Hi Tibby!" She looked around and smiled at my weasel. "Hi Itachi."

Itachi looked away from Sanaa, Kathryn's daughter, who was hugging his neck with a bright smile. "Hello Kathryn."

"Hi Tachi." Sanaa beamed. "Hi Icy!"

Yeah. She calls me Icy for the Ice part of my name. She also called me Icy because Sasori and Hidan taught her the Ice Queen nickname. Hidan obviously added in Bitch while Sasori did not

"Hey sweetie." I smiled.

"Hello Sanaa." Itachi greeted as he set Sanaa down on the bed. She tackled Tiburon before rolling over to hug Sable. Itachi and I sat up, me pushing Kathryn off us. Sable just laid in the middle of all the love, soaking up the attention she deserved.

"Deidei!" Tiburon greeted with an excited wave.

Deidara was one of Tiburon's favorite adults outside of me, Itachi, and Kisame. Hidan was tied with the blond, but I think Sasuke beat them both.

Deidara walked in with his Akatsuki cloak over his shoulder boredly. He grinned cockily at Tiburon. "Hey there kiddo, un." He looked at me and Itachi. "Hey Uchiha, hey Alice, un."

"Hello Deidara." Itachi said calmly. I simply smiled at him which he returned with his grin.

Deidara extracted Kathryn from my person and I took the opportunity to steal Sanaa from the mattress so I could cuddle her. She looked so much like Deidara and Kathryn it was ridiculous. She had some Kathryn attributes in her face along with Deidara's and her hair was a mix too. She definitely inherited both of their personalities, but there was one thing that was all Deidara that Kathryn couldn't hope to claim.

Her beautiful, bright blue eyes.

"Awe Sanaa, you're so cute!" I told her. She smiled at me and hugged my neck; waiting for me to let her go so she could reunite with Tiburon. They were attached at the hip. If you saw one, the other wasn't far off. They also made a pretty good tag team. It was pretty freaking adorable.

"I missed you Icy." She told me.

"I missed you too sweetie." I assured her. She hugged me tighter before we released each other and I let her latch onto Tiburon once more.

I smiled and looked at my idiots. "How was Konoha?"

"Fine." Kathryn smiled. "Sasuke said you guys need to hurry up and come see him. He misses Tiburon."

"We'll all be going there soon. Pein-sama has to attend a Kage meeting which is being held in Konoha. All of us are accompanying him." Itachi said calmly.

Yeah, because of our allegiance with the Shinobi villages now, Pein was required to attend numerous meetings every now and them to make sure everything is going smoothly, and just to catch up with his allies.

I was his advisor and ambassador because I'm awesome like that, so I was required to go with him, or go in his stead when he was busy with work and it was just to do a small errand or something little.

It was nice, because it gave us reasons to stay in Konoha for a long time, and it allowed me to bother the Kage and their subordinates depending on where I went. I usually took Kisame, Tiburon, and Itachi with me. Sometimes, Sasori, Deidara, Kathryn, and Sanaa with us though.

Basically, it gives me a chance to harass people.

That's always fun!

Back to life.

Deidara scoffed. "We know that, we went there to arrange everything. Stupid Uchiha, un."

"I take offense to that now." I stated, frowning at him.

He smirked. "What are you going to do about it, yeah?"

I sighed. "Well, I already stabbed Hidan with my sword and beat him with my sheath so… I might just sick Tiburon on you." I smirked. "Or Sable."

Deidara frowned. "You wouldn't."

"Oh I would." I grinned evilly. "Tiburon, Deidara's being mean to me. He keeps saying bad stuff about your uncle Sasuke and your daddy."

Tiburon glared at Deidara with disapproval plain on his face. Tiburon rolled off the bed and marched over to Deidara before kicking him in the shins. "Don't be mean to my mommy or I'll kick your butt!"

I just smirked away.

Itachi sighed, though I think he was internally thankful that Tiburon didn't cuss.

"Tiburon!" Kathryn gasped, scooping up Tiburon so she could kiss his face and keep him from attacking her bomber. Deidara was playfully glaring at Tiburon who was still scowling at him.

"What Kitty?" Tiburon asked.

"Don't be mean to Dei!" Kathryn pouted.

"He was being mean to my mommy." Tiburon countered.

Sanaa hugged me from behind, kissing Itachi's cheek before resting her head on my shoulder. "Icy, how come you and Daddy are fighting?"

"We're not." I told her. "Dei and I just like to mess with each other. Don't we Dei?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Sori-Danna!" Tiburon said, pointing towards the doorway.

Sanaa was instantly across the room, hugging the shit out of Sasori's leg. He stood in the doorway, staring at her, shocked by her sudden appearance on his person.

"Sori-Danna!" Sanaa greeted. "I missed you, yeah!"

Yeah, Sanaa inherited Deidara's verbal tick. But, it only showed itself when she was either really excited, really upset, or super angry.

On a side note: Sanaa's favorite person in the world was Sasori.

And she was probably his too.

It was so cute.

Sasori's eyebrow twitched at the rare appearance of the verbal tick and he glared at a sheepish Deidara before picking Sanaa up and allowing her to latch onto his person. "I missed you too, brat." Sasori looked at Deidara. "You were teaching her while you were away, weren't you?"

"Yes Danna, un." Deidara sighed.

Sanaa beamed. "Daddy's teaching me how to make art!"

Sasori scoffed. "Your father's stupid clay creations that explode are _not_ art, Sanaa. Art is eternal, just like me and my puppets."

Sanaa stared at him as if he had just told her the secret to life. "Oh!"

"Danna!" Deidara barked, taking his daughter from Sasori. "Don't listen to him Sanaa. Art is fleeting like an explosion, yeah. Danna is delusional."

Tiburon nudged Itachi with his foot since Kathryn was still holding him. "Daddy?"

He looked up at him. "Yes Tiburon?"

"What are Deidei and Sori-Danna talking about?" He asked.

"Nothing." He sighed. "Just ignore them."

Tiburon stared at him for a minute before shrugging. "Okay."

I shook my head at the antics in the room, watching Sanaa look between Sasori and Deidara as they bickered about art. Tiburon was watching them too, but I seriously doubt he was listening because he caught me looking at him and he beamed at me. I returned his smile because it was too cute not to.

Itachi was now petting Sable who was resting her head in his lap in order to keep all of the attention of at least one person in the room because she's cute. Kathryn was holding Tiburon, watching her lover, her daughter, and her Danna with love in her eyes.

I just smiled. "You're all dorks."

"I beg your pardon." Sasori stated, looking around Deidara at me since he just snatched Sanaa from the bomber. "I am trying to teach my brats something."

I scoffed. "You're a horrible teacher."

"Amen, un!" Deidara barked.

Sasori narrowed his eyes at me, smacking the back of Deidara's head to shut him up. "Shut up Alice. I'll kill you."

"I dare you to try it." I challenged.

Sasori stalked forward, handing Sanaa to Deidara before grabbing for me. Sable growled at him, not liking his movements and she snapped at him, baring her teeth.

Sasori glared at her.

"Awe!" I cooed. "Sable you're such a good girl!" She wagged her tail in appreciation of the praise as I latched onto her but she didn't look away from Sasori, still in protect mommy mode.

Yeah, I have the best kids ever.

* * *

><p><em>My apologies for errors of the spelling and grammatical variety.<em>

_I'm going to attempt to do this without rambling, but I'm not going to make any promises._

_**Fun Fact:** Alice is actually a character from an original story I am writing. Yes, she's still just as crazy._

**Question of the Chapter:**_ I'm pretty much out of questions, but so many of you liked this so I'm going to try and keep it going. Though, the questions probably aren't going to be relevant to anything. Can any of you guess why I waited until February 6th to being this story?_

_New idea!_

_**Word of The Day:** (This probably won't last because I'll get tired of it or I'll feel like the Reading Rainbow or some goofy show like that.) Tiburon – Shark._

_So yeah, last story, last author's note told you Alice and Kathryn had two children each. Not happening in this story. I don't like having OCs, and four is more than enough for me. Plus, with my lack of life because I work a million hours a day and go to school the rest of the time, I don't have time to write you something that isn't complete shit with all of those characters._

_I know, I'm sorry._

_But not really._

_Anyways, before I start rambling… I have no idea how long this story is going to be. I have a general plot laid out, but that's not including filler chapters of just humorous antics. But, I want you guys to tell me if it's getting shitty or if it's being dragged out too long. I don't want to overdo it. I can wrap it up at anytime because I always give myself space to do it, but yeah, you get the point._

_Also, I want antics from you guys. Give me crazy ideas, and I'll see if I can add them in. I don't care what they are. If you want one of the characters to say something, I'll try and building a chapter or something around it if it interests me and has slight relevance to the story._

_I also am not sure how often I'm going to be able to update. I'll _try_ for every Monday or something until I find a chance to have a fit schedule. Until then, I apologize profusely._

_On a side note, Kathryn is doing just fine and she said to thank all of you for the concern/well wishes.  
><em>

_But, I have to go and get ready for work because my job sucks ass so I'll see you… Whenever I see you._

_Toodles._


	2. Chapter 2

_A new chapter?_

_I know. I'm surprised too. But, I don't have work today so I decided to celebrate._

_Also, I'm posting this chapter because I want to wish _riptocs_ good luck on her exams that I believe she has tomorrow?_

_And because I felt obligated to honor Naruto because of the episodes released today in Sub._

Itachi. Is. So. Fucking. Adorable.

_I squealed for about five minutes._

_But, anyways... I don't own Naruto._

_Enjoy._

* * *

><p>Tiburon walked over to me and sat beside me at the table. I smiled at him and stroked his hair when he looked up at me with a smile. Itachi, who had his arm around my waist, used that hand to rumple our son's hair from my other side. Kisame did the same on Tibby's other side, grinning at Tiburon's annoyed expression.<p>

Kathryn and Deidara sat at the table with us and Sanaa. Sasori, Hidan, and Kakuzu were there as well. I had made dinner before and now we were just sitting at the table, chatting like always. Because there is nothing better than sitting at the kitchen table with a bunch of psychologically impaired people, most of which are insane ninjas.

"Mom." Tiburon began. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow curiously to show him I was listening. He looked down at bit before continuing. "Where do babies come from?"

My water, which I just began drinking, sprayed Sasori as I spit it out in shock. Hidan choked on some of his leftovers. Kakuzu snorted into his drink, Kathryn dropped whatever was in her hand, Deidara about fainted, and Kisame's jaw dropped. Itachi stiffened and Sasori just sat there, looking really irritated.

It was my fault, but that's beside the point.

I looked at my son, shocked by his curiosity and the question every parent fears. "Uh, Tibby, why do you want to know?"

He shrugged. "Because."

I stared at him. "That isn't a good reason, Tiburon."

"Why did everyone shit their pants from that question?" He asked. I gently tapped his mouth with a glare.

"Don't you dare say swear words until you're at least 18. And you had better not cuss around me either." I threatened, giving him a look.

Itachi frowned at him. "Tiburon, I know your mother and I have told you not to swear."

He pouted, unhappy about being scolded by his dad. "Sorry daddy, sorry mommy."

I looked away from him so I wouldn't fall for the pout. "It's alright. Just watch your mouth." I crossed my arms. "Now, why did you want to know?"

"I want to know too daddy." Sanaa began, tugging on Deidara's hair. Deidara went four shades whiter.

Hidan laughed and slammed his fist on the table, disturbing Sable from her food. She growled at him but her snarl vanished when she saw his amusement. Instead of biting him, her tail began wagging and she went back to her food. "Oh I feel so fucking bad for you guys!"

I coughed a bit. "Uh Itachi, you're the mature one… Maybe you should enlighten him."

Itachi raised his eyebrow at me as if questioning how I could throw him under the proverbial bus.

"Danna, do you want to do me a favor and uh… share with Sanaa?" Kathryn asked quietly, elbowing Sasori meaningfully.

"No." He said firmly. "I'm not corrupting that kid while she's so young."

Sanaa gave him the puppy eyes that only Deidara could hope to match. "But Sori-Danna, I wanna know! Please?"

Sasori coughed and looked away from her. "No means no, brat."

"Sori-Danna." She sniffed.

I watched Akasuna no Sasori break before my very eyes because of a little blond girl with bright, blue eyes.

Kathryn squealed. "Awe! It's so cute!" She scooped up her daughter. "You're your Danna's little girl aren't you baby?"

Sanaa nodded and reached for Sasori, pout going full blast. She is totally Kathryn's child. "Sori-Danna."

Sasori sighed and took her from Kathryn because Sanaa's cuteness is too much for him to handle. He allowed her to hug him. "I blame all of you."

"What did I do?" I questioned.

"You had Tiburon, and he posed the question." Sasori growled.

Kisame frowned. "So what did I do?"

"You taught her how to pout." Sasori snapped.

Kisame looked away guiltily. He totally did. He taught Tibby how to as well.

"Well," I began, "I think I have a solution."

"What?" The non-stoic ones asked.

I smirked, preparing to enjoy their reactions. "Hidan can tell them."

"NO!" Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Kakuzu, and Kathryn barked in unison.

Sable barked and her tail wagged.

I just laughed. "I was only joking. I didn't mean it. Calm down guys."

Itachi grabbed my face. "Never make that kind of joke again, Alice."

I kissed him. "You're adorable." I laughed and turned my attention to the others again. "I'll tell them."

"You will?" Kathryn asked, seemingly shocked by my words.

"What did I just say?" I asked.

Kakuzu scoffed. "They'll be worse off than they would be with Hidan."

"Hey, fuck you Kakuzu." I snapped. "I would never corrupt my child and grandchild/niece thing." A few of them raised their eyebrows at me but I ignored them. "Kids, listen to me."

They both looked at me curiously.

"Babies are gifts from Jashin-sama." I explained. "When you have devoted yourself to the one true lord as deeply as I have, you are granted gifts. Hidan chose immortality, I chose you, Tibby, and your mom chose you, Sanaa. _That_ is where babies come from."

"So what did daddy, Sori-Danna, Deidei, Kisa, Pein, Konan, and Kuzu-oji choose?" Tibby asked. "What gifts did they get?"

"Nothing." I informed him. "They're all heathens. Though, I share with your dad because he's at least an adorable heathen." I patted Itachi's chest for emphasis.

Sasori, Itachi, and Kakuzu rolled their eyes. Kisame chuckled and Deidara smirked.

"Oh my Jashin…" Kathryn stated. "She actually did a good job…"

"I know." Sasori said, staring at me in amazement.

"Whatever you guys, I'm Alice. I _always _do a good job. Especially in the bedroom." I smirked.

Itachi face-palmed.

"What do you do in the bedroom, mom?" Tibby wondered.

Kisame started laughing at me.

"I clean." I said quickly, punching Kisame.

He nodded in understanding with a loud "Oh!" before smiling at me. "Then you do a good job in the whole house mommy."

I pointed at him. "I don't see how anyone would not explode from cuteness overload from that." I hugged him, and showered him with kisses which he protested.

"Mommy! Quit it!" He whined. "Dad! Help!"

Sable lifted her head away from her food and howled lowly along with Tiburon's protests.

"No!" I said stubbornly. "You're too cute!"

"You should know, Tiburon. That once your mom wants to do something, there is no stopping her." Itachi explained. He smiled gently at our son as I smothered him with affection. "As unfortunate as it may be, you are on your own for this."

"Icy?" Sanaa began.

I looked at her, releasing Tibby. "Yes love?"

"So does that mean me and Tibby have to kill people and run around half naked and say a lot of bad words and stuff like Hidan-oji does if we want to get babies?" Sanaa asked.

"OI!" Hidan barked. "Fuck you, brat."

Kathryn threw a knife at him. "Don't talk to my baby like that!"

Sable snarled at Hidan, pausing in eating once again to monitor the people in the room. Ever since I had Tiburon, Sable had calmed down her puppy-like behavior somewhat but she was also a lot more protective and possessive. It was freaking cute.

Kakuzu patted Sanaa's head before getting up. "You have to do the exact opposite, kid." And with that, he left the room.

Deidara pointed at Tiburon. "You get my baby pregnant and I'll kill you, brat un."

"You touch my kid, and I'll shove all four of your tongues up your ass and braid them around your fucking organs you explosive shit." I growled, instantly getting defensive and going into mother-mode.

"You wanna mess, bitch hmm?" Deidara snarled, getting to his feet.

"Uh oh…" Tiburon muttered.

I stood up and slammed my sword into the table. "Bring it, slut."

"Sori-Danna! Daddy and Icy are going to make Kuzu-oji mad again." Sanaa whined.

Kathryn, Itachi, Sasori, and Kisame just sighed. Hidan just watched with moderate enjoyment. Sanaa and Tiburon watched the pair of us with slight fear and amusement.

In a few fluid motions I went from the floor to the table, and Spartan kicked Deidara in the chest. Deidara flew backwards over his chair before recovering quickly and lunging at me, tackling me off the table and pretty much into Kisame and Itachi's laps. Tiburon had run away when Deidara got up.

Itachi was not happy, that much was clear. He picked Deidara up by his hair and threw him out of the kitchen with perfect accuracy at the door. He then turned to me and narrowed his eyes. "Alice."

"Itachi." I said stiffly, sitting properly in his lap.

"I believe we talked about displaying violence in front of Tiburon." He said smoothly.

I nodded. "We did. But he's the child of a ninja, and a bipolar bitch. He's also the student of ten other ninja, Itachi. Violence is kind of required." I stood and turned to Itachi to give him a look. "Not to mention, he was just _threatened_ in front of me."

By the way, if you're wondering who those two extra ninjas are, they're Sasuke and Kakashi. Whenever we go to Konoha, Sasuke and Kakashi steal him away to train him a little bit and bond.

Itachi stared at me for a minute before gesturing in Deidara's direction lazily. "Proceed."

I smirked and pecked his lips as a reward. "That's what I thought."

"She totally owns you." Sasori stated.

I scoffed. "I own all of you."

"Even me?" Sanaa wondered.

I smiled at her. "Of course, sweetie." She beamed in response.

"Mommy, I don't want you to hurt Deidei!" Tiburon pouted.

"Tiburon, go play with Sable. This is for adults only." I stated, walking in Deidara's direction.

"KNOCK IT OFF ALICE!" Kakuzu shouted.

I sighed dejectedly. "BUT-!"

"I SAID NO!" He snapped.

"FINE, DICK! GO TENTACLE RAPE SOMEONE!" I barked.

I heard something slam before Kakuzu appeared in the doorway. "Uh Itachi… can you uhm… keep the money grubber away from me?" Then I darted away from Kakuzu and hid behind my weasel and shark. "Blame Deidara, Kakuzu. He threatened Tiburon! I couldn't stop the maternal drive to protect him!"

Kakuzu stared at me before sighing. "Bullshit Alice, it's your fucking mood swings."

"And the maternal drive." I muttered, taking the appearance of his sigh as a sign of safety. I straightened up and wrapped my arms around Itachi's neck before kissing the top of his head. He leaned back into me without needing to be told.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You've had that ever since we met you."

"It's not my fault I had to take care of Kathryn." I pouted, hugging Itachi from behind. "I'm a woman. It's in my genetic makeup. Not to mention, my mood swings make things worse. And Deidara's hair is _still_ too freaking yellow."

"At least my hair isn't the same color as shit, yeah." Deidara countered.

"You just reminded me of a ten year old." I deadpanned, looking at him. "I'm not even insulted by that. And, by the way, you just said Kakuzu's hair was the same color as shit too considering we both have brown hair. Mine is just darker."

Deidara paused in his retort to look at Kakuzu cautiously. Kakuzu didn't look like he could give two shits about what we were talking about so he grinned at me and got up. "Whoops."

"You're so cute, Dei." Kathryn giggled.

"You're cute, un." Deidara replied. Kathryn beamed at him while Deidara walked over to her and gave her a gentle kiss. She returned it, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Ew!" Tiburon protested from beside Sable, pointing at Deidara and Kathryn. "Gross!"

Sanaa giggled. "It's not gross, Tibby. Icy and Tachi do it all the time too."

Tiburon made a deep face of disgust which made me and Kisame both start laughing.

Kathryn pulled away from Deidara to smile evilly at Tiburon. "Does Tibby want kisses too?"

"No!" Tiburon shouted, running from the room. Sanaa giggled and followed him enthusiastically.

"You scared my son." Itachi said in a playfully offended tone. Kathryn simply shrugged and latched onto Sasori. Kisame and I just laughed harder.

Hidan shook his head. "You guys are so fucked up."

"Speak for yourself, moron." Kakuzu grunted from the sink. Hidan began swearing under his breath about Kakuzu and his heathen ways.

I smiled as Kisame and I stopped laughing. "Were Kisame and I the only ones to see Tiburon's face of pure disgust? Because that expression was priceless."

Kisame snorted. "It was great."

"I saw it." Itachi said with a hint of amusement on his face. "You would have thought he walked in on Hidan taking a shower again."

I shuddered. "I swear he didn't sleep for days."

"Fuck both of you!" Hidan snapped. "Your little shit needs to learn how to knock."

Kisame rolled his eyes. "He's four, Hidan."

"Teach him while he's fucking young." Hidan stressed.

"You should practice what you preach, Hidan." Itachi stated. "Half the time, you do not knock either. And even though you suffered because of your lack of knocking, you still continue to do it."

Hidan walked in on me and Itachi during one of the few nights we were able to be alone. Itachi then proceeded to tear Hidan into pieces and make his limbs, organs, and head part of a treasure hunt for the other members.

Hidan avoided Itachi like the plague for a week.

It was so funny.

Zetsu won, by the way.

"Mommy!"

My head snapped to the doorway and I frowned. "Did anyone else just hear Tiburon yell?"

Sable obviously did because she trotted out of the kitchen, her ears perked and her posture stiff. A small ball of worry began forming in my stomach and I walked towards the door. "Tiburon?"

"Mommy!" He called.

His voice was distant, but his tone was urgent. The small ball of worry turned into a swirling sphere of panic when I heard his tone. Tiburon wasn't easily scared, and if he was scared, it was bad. Not to mention, Sanaa was with him and she got scared very easily. I saw Sable waiting for me at the end of the hallway to I jogged to her. "Find Tibby, Sable. Find him girl."

Sable barked and began running down the hallway. I followed her, internally thankful she was running slowly so I could keep up with her. She led me through the Love Shack and the rarely visited parts of the base that no one other than Hidan used.

"Tiburon?" I called again.

"Mommy…" Tiburon urged in a strained whisper. I walked around the corner and saw him and Sanaa standing in the doorway to one of the extra rooms. I sighed with relief seeing that they were alright and I continued walking towards them. Sable fell back, pawing at her nose for some reason.

I walked over to them and knelt between my son and Kathryn's daughter. "Tiburon, Sanaa, what's… Oh my Jashin."

Inside the room Tiburon and Sanaa had accidently went in were _piles_ of dead bodies and the room was caked with blood. In the middle of the floor was a very prominent, very familiar symbol belonging to the very violent religion of Jashin. The scent of blood was thick enough to gag someone and I suddenly realized what had been bothering Sable's nose.

"Mommy…" He whimpered. Sanaa was shaking and gawking at the scene before her.

I grabbed Tiburon and turned him around, tucking his face into my shoulder before I carefully picked Sanaa up and cradled her. I wasn't sure if she was going to act violently, so I had to be extra cautious with her because she was frightened a lot more easily than Tiburon was.

"It's alright." I soothed, hugging both kids. "I'm here. It's okay. Your uncle Hidan is just a big idiot."

Sanaa shuddered and I felt my shirt start getting wet as she began crying. "I-Icy… A-are they dead?"

"Yeah." I whispered. "It's okay though Sanaa."

"Alice?"

I glanced around to see Itachi and Kisame walking towards me, frowning a bit with concern at the terrified children. "Kisame. Itachi."

"What's up?" Kisame asked as he reached me. His gaze flicked inside the room briefly before he did a double take. "Ah. That's what happened."

"Hidan is a fool." Itachi growled. "I know I have warned him about this." He knelt beside me and took Tiburon from me. "Tiburon."

"Daddy." Tiburon muttered, burying his face into Itachi's chest. "Why did Hidan-oji hurt those people?"

Itachi glanced at me as he busied himself with stroking Tiburon's hair gently. "It is how Hidan maintains his immortality. He has to sacrifice people in order to live." He kissed the top of Tiburon's head.

"But don't worry." I began, rubbing Sanaa's back in an attempt to calm her. "Hidan only kills people who are very, _very_ bad. He does it so he can keep you two safe by getting rid of people who would try to hurt you. He just doesn't know how to clean up his messes."

Kisame rolled his eyes at my excuse. "Alice, why don't you take the kids back to the main hallways? I'll get Hidan and make him clean this up."

"I'll help you." Itachi said dangerously. He waited for me to stand before he handed me Tiburon. He made sure to keep his body in front of Hidan's room of death so Tiburon and Sanaa wouldn't look in there on accident.

I adjusted both kids before kissing Itachi's lips and Kisame's cheek gently. I called Sable and she trotted after me as I returned to the main part of the base. Sable found Sasori, Kathryn, and Deidara for me in the living room so I went there.

"What happened?" Sasori demanded as soon as I walked in the room.

I glared when I saw Hidan sitting on the couch and I handed Kathryn Sanaa before giving Sasori Tiburon. "Hold him and don't let either of them hear or see what I'm about to do. I'll explain in a minute."

Sasori raised his eyebrow at my sudden vicious hostility and he placed his hands over Tiburon's ears, muttering under his breath as Deidara did the same to Sanaa, watching me carefully. I turned around and glared at Hidan who was watching the kids curiously.

"This is _your_ fucking fault." I snarled.

Hidan blinked. "What?"

"Clean up your fucking messes Hidan!" I snapped, taking my sheathed sword and beating him with it. I stopped after a moment when hitting him with a blunt object didn't sate my anger. "Sable! Kill!"

Sable snarled ferociously and lunged at Hidan's throat. She bit his jugular and began shaking her head back and forth to try and rip it out. Hidan tried to push her off of him, but Sable's biting power was extremely strong. Not to mention, she's freaking huge now.

"Down Sable." I growled after a minute of hearing his pained shouts.

Sable released Hidan and backed off of him, snarling all the while because she felt my anger.

"Tiburon and Sanaa just walked in on your fucking ritual room. The one where you keep all your left over bodies and the one that is red because of all of the blood caked on the walls and floor." I spat. "Damn it Hidan, I know Itachi and I have told you to either clean up after yourself or freaking lock the door."

Sasori paused, his eyes narrowing angrily. "What did you say?"

"My baby saw what, un!" Deidara demanded.

Hidan had the brains to look guilty and concerned. "I didn't fucking think they would just walk into any fucking room. How the hell was I supposed to fucking know they'd go in there! I told Zetsu all those bodies were fucking in there too. The lazy ass hasn't fucking eaten them yet."

"They are children, Hidan. They are curious." Sasori growled. "They will go wherever they feel like it without wondering if it might be dangerous or scary. Why do you think Alice flips out when you leave Tiburon outside by himself? Because he will go and explore and get lost or kidnapped."

Hidan cowered a bit under our stares until the temperature of the room dropped at least ten degrees and Hidan looked to one of the doors. I swear the albino Jashinist went four shades whiter. Curious as to what freaked him out, I looked around and internally smirked and drooled.

Itachi stood in the doorway, _glaring_ at Hidan with his Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan whirling angrily. Behind him was Kisame who looked just as angry.

"Hidan. You and I need to talk." Itachi said in a calm voice.

He was _so_ drool-inducing.

Hidan jumped over the couch and ran out of the room. Itachi stared after him for a minute before he disappeared in a flock of crows. Kisame just turned around, taking Samehada from his back, fully intending on making Hidan wish he wasn't immortal.

"You know, I would feel bad for him, but after knowing what he did, I don't." Sasori said coldly, removing his hands from Tiburon's ears and petting his hair gently.

"Plus you're a heartless asshole anyway." I smirked walking over to him so I could relieve him of Tiburon.

He shrugged, amusement making the corner of his mouth twitch. "Yeah."

"Tibby, you okay?" I asked, kissing his cheek.

Tiburon looked at me and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay." He looked towards Sanaa. "Is Sanaa okay?"

Kathryn looked up from a calming Sanaa to smile at Tiburon. "Yeah, she's okay Tibby. It just shocked her a little."

Tiburon wiggled in my grasp and I set him on the couch. He climbed over Deidara and hugged Sanaa tightly. She pulled away from her mom and hugged him back, gaining a squeal from Kathryn.

"They're so cute!" Kathryn whispered urgently. "Alice, what if they get married when they're older? Do you realize how cute that would be?"

"They better." I smirked. "I'll file an arranged marriage if necessary."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Women."

"My baby isn't marrying anyone!" Deidara growled firmly. "She isn't allowed to date anyone until I'm dead, yeah."

I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes threateningly. "That can be arranged, Deidara."

"Bring it, hmm!"

And thus began round two.

* * *

><p><em>Ah, Akatsuki antics.<em>

**_Fun Fact: _**_My job fucking sucks._

Answer: _2 multiplied by 6 = 12. My OCD is _that_ bad. I was going to wait until tomorrow to post this chapter (2+10=12), but the Naruto episodes got to me._

**QotC:**_ At some point in this story, there is probably going to be a time skip because I don't want to write a million and one chapters on Tiburon and Sanaa during their time as kids. I want rebellious teenagers and character drama because that makes me laugh manically. Anyways, the question is: What do you guys think of a time skip. I won't be leaving you guys hanging, and it won't be for a while. I will have a chapter or two of Alice and/or Kathryn filling you all in on everything that happened between where I left off and where I begin again. And it will probably go to age 9 to 14 and then well party from there. So yeah: Time skip? Why or why not? I want to hear your opinions._

**WotC:**_ (Español) Lobo - Wolf._

_Now onto review answers and rants of gratitude._

_You guys know you missed my words of affection._

_But no, to answer a review, I did not get Tiburon's name from Tier Harribel's Resurrección. I've had the name Tiburon planned out since I decided Alice was going to get knocked up. I've always been a huge fan of the Spanish language, and since Tiburon means shark in Spanish, I had to use it. Also, remember way back when Alice said she and Itachi were going to name their kid after Kisame? Yeah, Kisame's name means Devil Shark and since I didn't want to name Alice's child diablo or something like that, Shark was the winner. Also, Kisame looks more like an awesome shark than a devil so that was a factor. I was going to use Shark in German, but Hai/Haifisch Shisui Uchiha didn't have the same lovely ring to it as Tiburon Shisui Uchiha did. Not to mention, Tibby is a wonderful nickname.  
><em>

_Weekly updates? I will certainly try my utmost hardest to update weekly. Updating today was sheer luck because I didn't have work (Thank Jashin for shift trading) and tomorrow I don't have work. I will never take longer than like two weeks to update and that I promise you. My OCD would never let me do that. Plus, when I don't update, some of you guys send me scary messages and that makes me sad. :D_

_But~ on a side note. I am very glad all of you guys like Tiburon and Sanaa. I'm rather fond of their ridiculousness as well. If you want to see more of them, like super amazing drawings and stuff, go to my dA page, attack my favorites, and stalk the hell out of_ Dreami-Chwan_. She has made me so much fan art that I probably owe her my soul. Seriously, go ogle at the fan art. I have so much and I am eternally grateful to every single millimeter of those drawings as well as all of the words of praise and what not you guys give me._

_Your support means a lot to me, and I have read every review, every message, and every little thing you guys have sent me or said to me. I have visited all of your profiles, on both dA and on this website and I've become a fan of a lot of your guys' work. _Klavieres, riptocs, Tori-Da-Mutt,_(among many others)_ _are, not only people I consider friends, but I'm obsessed with their work and I am legitimately surprised they don't have ten times as many readers and reviewers as I do. _Klavieres _i__s the author of... two of my favorite fanfictions ever so having her as a reader of my boredom-baby makes me smile. Having all of you guys reading my stories makes my ego boost a little bit all the time. And I didn't say only three names to make anyone feel less significant, I didn't say a bunch because if I did, I'd have to make a separate chapter in an attempt to try and convey some of my gratefulness and appreciation._

_So thank you, to everyone who reads this story, even if you're only reading it to laugh at my attempt at literature and insult me for existing. You're still getting my story view and you took the time to read my shit. So thanks._

_I'm out because I ranted for about ten minutes._

_See you, lovelies._


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter Three._

_Sorry for the later update. I had to go and get my brother from OSU because I missed him way too much.  
><em>

_This chapter is for _riptocs_ who gave me the idea for this chapter._

_It made me laugh so I rolled with it._

_Enjoy, lovelies._

_I do not own Naruto._

* * *

><p>"Sori-Danna?" Sanaa called.<p>

Sasori and I stopped our sarcastic bickering instantly, our attention snapping to Sanaa who had just walked into the living room. It has become second nature to everyone in the base to instantly respond when we hear Tiburon and Sanaa's voices.

"What's wrong brat?" Sasori wondered, reaching for her. She had her lower lip stuck out in a pathetically adorable way as she climbed into Sasori's lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his cheek.

"I'm bored Sori-Danna." Sanaa said sadly. "Will you play with me?"

Sasori raised his eyebrow. "Where's Tiburon?"

"Tiburon doesn't want to play girly games with me. He's training with Pein-sama and Sable in the training grounds." Sanaa pouted. Her eyes flicked to me. "Will you play with me too, Icy?"

I looked at her curiously. "What are you playing, sweetie?"

"I wanna have a tea party." She said quietly.

I smiled at her cute innocence and nodded. "I'll play with you. Sasori will as well."

Sasori glared at me but I just gave him a look.

He sighed, knowing he would give in anyways because Sanaa knows where his soft spots are. He nodded and stroked Sanaa's hair. "Alice is right. We'll play. Why don't you ask your parents, Kisame, and Itachi? Maybe Hidan and Kakuzu want to play with you?"

Sanaa nodded, her gorgeous little face brightening instantly as she beamed. "I'll go ask!"

She hopped out of Sasori's lap and took off out of the room.

Sasori and I looked at each other.

"I have a feeling we're going to regret this." I sighed.

"I hate you for bringing me into this." Sasori growled.

"Whatever dude." I scoffed. "You were in this before I was. She's _your_ brat and you're _her_ Sori-Danna. She came to you first and asked me because I was here. I was drawn in because I was going beyond my better judgment and associating with the likes of you."

He looked away from me stubbornly. "I still hate you anyways."

I waved him off as I stood up. "Come on. I want to watch her guilt the others into playing with her with that adorable pouting face she has."

Sasori smirked and joined me. "I love the way you think."

"You and me both, buddy." I smiled. "You and me both."

Sasori and I crept to the kitchen where Sanaa had cornered Hidan. Hidan was standing at the sink, washing his hands off and talking to himself under his breath, oblivious to everything.

"Hidan-oji." Sanaa called, putting on her pleading sad face.

Hidan looked around at being called and he gave Sanaa a grin. "Sup kid?" He took in her sad expression and his grin faded into a glare. "Who the fuck made you sad? I'll kill them."

"No one wants to play with me." She pouted, stopping right at his feet to look up at him and give him the full power of her pout. "Will you play with me?"

Hidan broke under her pout that could rival even Kisame's. He swooped down and picked her up before setting her on the counter in front of him so he could dry his hands with a dish towel. "Uh… Sure brat. What the hell do you little shits play anyways?"

"I wanna have a tea party." She told him shyly, kicking her feet nervously and rolling the hem of her skirt between her fingers. "Please?

Suppressing a violent twitch at the game, Hidan nodded. "Alright. You fucking win. I'll have a shitty tea party with you. Just stop making that sad as fuck face."

Sanaa smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks Hidan-oji! I'm gonna go ask Kuzu-oji!"

"Good luck with that." Hidan scoffed, picking her up and setting her on the ground after letting her hug the crap out of his neck.

Sanaa ran out of the kitchen and through the base allowing Sasori and I to follow her without her knowledge. She was heading for Kakuzu's room, but she came across Kisame on her way there. Taking advantage of catching the Shark-man on his own, Sanaa whipped out her most lethal weapon.

"Kisa." Sanaa addressed quietly with a sad face that could melt icebergs.

Kisame looked up from the spot on his shirt he was picking at to see Sanaa standing before him. He raised his eyebrow, walked over to her and crouched down in front of her. He poked her nose, giving her a happy grin that she had to return weakly. "What's up kiddo? What do you need?"

"Will you play with me Kisa? No one else will. Tibby said it was too girly." Sanaa pleaded.

Kisame grinned and stroked her hair gently. "Of course I'll play with you. What do you want to play?"

If there was ever a perfect human being when it came to compassion and sweetness, it's Kisame.

I swear he is the nicest person in the world.

"A tea party." Sanaa admitted.

Kisame chuckled and nodded. "I'd love to have a tea party with you, Sanaa. Why don't you ask Itachi? He loves tea. I bet Alice will make you some cookies or something to go with them."

"Thanks Kisa!" Sanaa cheered, darting forward to hug him tightly. Kisame chuckled gently in his shark ways and hugged her back. When he was done, he set her back down and sent her on her way, heading towards the kitchen to try and get the stain out of his shirt.

"He is such a good boy." I commented.

Sasori smirked. "He's just a softy for the kids."

"That's a good thing." I stated. "I think she's asking Kakuzu."

"She is." Sasori confirmed. "Five bucks says he says no."

I smirked, shaking his hand to accept the bet. "I'll take that. Kakuzu might accept it. Sanaa did talk him into letting her paint his nails before. Plus, Kakuzu loves my cookies."

"Yeah, but he was in need of a paint job anyway. And your cookies have nothing to do with degrading oneself to have a tea party." Sasori stated.

"With a three year old." I deadpanned. "How is that degrading? It's actually very sweet of you guys to play along. I would say the nail-painting is more degrading."

He stared at me. "We're ninjas and the nail-polish is part of the uniform."

"You're also morons, but let's not state the obvious here." He glared so I smirked. "We'll see when we get there I suppose." I shrugged. "Back to the nail polish ordeal I mentioned before. We need to get you men manlier colors. And I'll have you know Tiburon will not be painting his nails. I already deal with Itachi's purple nail-polish. My son isn't following the trend."

Sasori smirked. "I bet he'll want pink."

I glared at Sasori. "I'll paint you rainbow first."

He pouted.

Once we were done with our little wager/disagreement, we peeked into the room together to see Sanaa tiptoeing over to Kakuzu so not to disturb him.

"I know you're in here kid." Kakuzu grunted, looking up from his book. "What do you need?"

Sanaa looked up at him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Kuzu-oji, will you play with me?"

Kakuzu raised his eyebrow. "Why?"

"No one else will play with me and I want to have a tea party. I was gonna ask Icy if she would make some of her tea and some cookies." Sanaa explained.

Kakuzu stared at her for a moment. "I'll think about it. Why not ask your parents?"

Sanaa nodded. "I'll ask them, but I really want you to come too Kuzu-oji because I wanna spend time with you."

"I might come." He told her. "Off you go. Ask your mother and father."

"Kay!" Sanaa nodded. "Thank you Kuzu-oji."

Kakuzu grunted. "Yep."

Sasori and I hid when Sanaa ran out of the room and we both followed her as she travel through the base and to my room where I knew Itachi was. She knocked on the door and waited patiently for Itachi to answer.

Itachi opened the door and looked around before his eyes flicked down and he found Sanaa. "Sanaa? What are you doing here? Is something wrong or are you looking for Alice?"

Sanaa shook her head. "I wanted to ask you something, Tachi."

Itachi raised his eyebrow. "What is on your mind?"

She sighed sadly. "No one will play with me and I _really_ want to have a tea party. Will you play with me?"

Itachi blinked slowly, trying to understand that someone of his sexiness was asked to participate in tea party by a three year old. After a moment, he recovered and gave Sanaa a gentle lift of his lips. "…Of course I will, Sanaa. Thank you for asking me."

She smiled at him happily. "Thank you, Tachi!" She hugged Itachi's legs tightly, smiling wider when he rumpled her hair gently. "I'll ask Icy to make you some dango to go with the tea."

Itachi's eyes sparkled slightly at the sound of dango because he is, in fact, a dango addict.

It is not healthy at all.

And yet he still retains that godly figure.

And some humans question why he is perfect.

Anyways, once Sanaa was finished with Itachi, she left him there to go and get her parents. She tried Zetsu, but he wasn't in when she went to his room. She knew better than to mess with Konan because she was working on important stuff for Pein since he was busy training Tiburon on self defense and chakra-control

Tiburon trained all the time, for fun. I think it's an Uchiha thing.

Plus, most of his training is comprised of fun games so he'll focus on it and not mouth off to his teachers because he does do that if he is forced to do something he doesn't want to do.

He is my child…

"Mommy!" Sanaa whined, poking her head into her parent's bedroom. Sasori and I snuck into his bedroom and watched through the cracked door connecting their rooms.

Kathryn looked around from putting on her makeup. "What Princess?"

"Will you and daddy play with me? Tiburon doesn't want to because tea parties are too girly." Sanaa wondered.

Deidara looked up from the pile of clay and grinned at Sanaa. "We'll play with you, yeah."

"Of course we will baby." Kathryn assured her. "You want to have a tea party?"

Sanaa nodded.

Kathryn squealed quietly. "That's so cute. Where do you want to play?"

"In the kitchen." Sanaa told her. "I'll go and set everything up!"

Deidara looked at Kathryn when Sanaa ran out of the room. "This ought to be good, un."

"She's so cute." Kathryn giggled.

Sasori and I exchanged a fist bump before I left him in his bedroom to go and make some tea and snacks for Sanaa's tea party. When she asked, I made some dango for Itachi, knowing he would be super happy if I did.

About five minutes after I made food, everyone started to show up.

Kisame was the first one inside.

"Hey Alice." Kisame grinned, kissing the side of my head. "Are you participating in the tea party too?"

I nodded. "Who do you think is supply you guys with tea and snacks. Don't tell Sanaa, but I'm drinking water. I can't stand tea."

Kisame chuckled and took his usual seat. "Where is she anyways?"

"Putting on a dress so she is dressed up for the occasion." Sasori said boredly as he entered the room. "Kathryn is having a seizure."

I smiled. "Oh shut up. You think it's cute."

He didn't comment as he took his seat. He did however dip his head at Itachi when he walked in the room.

Itachi returned the head dip and raised his eyebrow. "I smell dango."

"Yeah I made you some." I told him, smirking at him. "You can't have any yet though. You have to wait."

He darted over to me and pinned me against the counter, his hands positioned on both sides of my person and his lips centimeters from mine. "Alice."

I looked at him, my smirk widening. "What?"

He pressed his lips to mine and focused on making me breathless and fogging my mind with his intoxicating scent and mind blowing kisses. When he pulled away, he looked at me with his smoldering red eyes. "Just one?"

I stared at him, completely unaware that I was drooling at his sexiness and gawking at his actions. "What?"

"Can I have one?" He whispered.

I shook my head to clear it before blinking. "Kiss me like that again and you can have whatever you want."

He smirked repeated his actions. However, I kept him pinned to me by linking my fingers through his hair and grabbing his face. He smirked into the kiss when I refused to let him go. He gave in and wrapped his arms around me, deciding that I was more important than his junk food.

I was impressed too.

But, he's a good boy. I trained him well.

"Hey, will you two breathe?" Kisame asked.

I pulled away from Itachi to look at Kisame. "Hush. This is like meth to me."

Sasori snorted with amusement.

Itachi, meanwhile, had taken my distraction as an opportunity to look around me and snag some dango. I looked around him as he stuffed one of the balls on the stick into his mouth. He stared at me as he chewed it before he swallowed and kissed me gently.

"Perfect." He praised.

I rolled my eyes and shooed him away. "Whatever. Your charm has worn off now. Go sit down. You can have more later."

He pouted but obeyed, heading to the table to take his seat. During our kiss, Kakuzu had arrived and he was watching us, amused.

"Shut up Kakuzu." I pouted.

He just shook his head with a small chuckle.

"Sasori, you owe me five bucks." I told the puppet master.

He waved me away. "Whatever."

"What's up fuckers?" Hidan asked, walking in the room.

"We're here for Sanaa's tea party." Kisame told him with a shrug.

Hidan raised his eyebrow. "Wait… so we're all fucking doing this? She told me no one wanted to fucking play with her."

"She told you that so you would agree to go." Sasori informed him.

I smiled. "You know you can't say no to her when she uses those puppy eyes."

Hidan sighed. "Fucking brat is lucky." He threw himself in the chair beside Kakuzu. "Bitch, get me some tea."

"Fuck you Hidan." I snapped.

"Icy! Bad word." Sanaa protested.

I looked towards the door to see Sanaa in a blue dress that matched her eyes perfectly. Her bangs were pinned back out of her face while the rest of her hair was down.

She was fucking adorable.

I didn't judge Kathryn for having to have Deidara hold her back from attacking Sanaa with affection.

"Sorry sweetie." I smiled. "You look so cute."

She blushed and looked down shyly. "Thank you."

Sasori, smiling at Sanaa's cuteness because that's the only thing that makes him smile, patted the chair beside him. "Come here brat and your tea party can start."

Sanaa beamed at him. "Okay!"

If the majority of the people in this room weren't manly former criminals, they all would have awed about her cuteness.

Kathryn did it for them.

"Awe! She's so freaking cute!" Kathryn squealed, latching onto Deidara since she couldn't smother her daughter with affection.

Deidara chuckled. "I know she is, yeah. Let's go sit down un."

Kathryn nodded and skipped over to the table. She sat beside her daughter while Deidara took a spot on her other side.

Then the party began.

I poured the tea and set the snacks in the middle of the table. Itachi's eyes were locked on the dango, but he politely retrained himself from eating all of them. I'm pretty sure when the time comes where he can eat them, he's going to bite people who try to take any.

And when I say Sanaa wanted a tea party, I mean she wanted a sophisticated tea party.

Like, pinky-finger up and use Mr. and Mrs. sort of thing.

Hidan picked up his cup and made to down in one gulp.

"Hidan-oji." Sanaa scolded.

Hidan glared at her. "What the fuck do you want?"

"You're supposed to keep your pinky up! And no bad words." Sanaa told him seriously.

He stared at her as if she had slapped him.

I was snickering under my breath with Kathryn, Deidara and Kisame. Sasori, Kakuzu, and Itachi were smirking.

"What?" He snapped.

"Hidan." Kakuzu sighed. "Just do what she says. It's just a game."

"Fine." He snarled. He lifted his pinky up obnoxiously high and downed his drink.

Kisame shook his head at him. "You're supposed to sip it Hidan-chan."

Hidan gawked at Kisame because of the honorific.

Kisame just lifted his pinky and took a sip of his drink.

Sanaa beamed.

"You have got to be shitting me." Hidan deadpanned.

"We shit you not." Kakuzu stated, smacking the back of his head. "No cussing."

Kathryn giggled. "Sanaa-chan, will you pass me a cookie?"

"What kind Kaa-san?" Sanaa asked, using the bit of Japanese she knew.

Sasori chuckled.

"Chocolate chip please." Kathryn sang.

"Here you go!" Sanaa said politely, giving her mom a cookie.

Kathryn ate it with her pinky up.

"Hidan-chan, no slouching, un." Deidara scolded, sitting with perfect posture.

Hidan flicked him off.

Kakuzu broke his finger.

"OUCH! You son of a bitch!" Hidan shouted.

Kisame slammed his face into the table.

I just smiled from my seat across from Sanaa. "What a nice tea party?"

After a few more rounds of abuse, Hidan finally gave in and acted accordingly. He addressed Itachi as Weasel-chan and Itachi broke his nose with an upper-cut when Hidan asked him to pass a cookie and that was the last time he acted up.

So, currently we were all drinking tea, or water in my case, and eating the snacks I had made. The dango was quickly disappearing and I noticed Itachi possessed almost all but two of the missing sticks. Sanaa had one and Kisame and the other.

We all had our pinkies up and all of us were sitting perfectly straight in our chairs and acting all proper and sophisticated. Sanaa was discussing the weather, her main focus was Itachi, and she was attempting to use big words. I think she just wanted to get him talking since he was the most silent of her… strange family.

She was pronouncing the big words all wrong and Sasori would smirk every time she did.

"What are all of you doing?"

We all looked towards the door to see Pein standing in the doorway with Tiburon and Sable.

"Having a tea party." Sanaa told him.

He stared at us for a few minutes before shaking his head and walking away.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side at us before his eyes fell on the dango.

Tiburon is just like his father when it comes to sweets.

He drooled and walked over to the table. He took a seat in his father's lap since the dango was closest to him now even though I had set it as far away from him as possible without being obvious about it at the start of the party. He had been moving it closer every time I looked away.

"Sanaa-chan, how was your day?" He asked, his eyes not leaving the dango.

Sanaa beamed, utterly pleased that her best friend was playing with her now. "Great!"

"I'm glad." Tiburon nodded and grabbed a stick of dango, his pinky up. He then inhaled the treat in seconds.

He was just here for the dango.

I exchanged a look with Itachi who was watching our son with a proud look in his eyes as well as a shocked one. When he looked at me, his proud look vanished and a sheepish one emerged on his face.

I flicked my eyes between him, Tiburon, and the dango and he had the decency to look sort of guilty.

I gave him a flat stare. "He is totally your child, Mr. Weasel."

* * *

><p><em>:D<em>

_Ah. Uchiha antics. Aren't they wonderful. And beating Hidan is so much fun.  
><em>

**_Fun Fact: _**_I got accepted to Cornell:)_

Answer: _I will be doing a time skip. I feel it is necessary so I don't have to write a million and a half chapters from ages 3/4 to however old they are when I end this story. I feel bad for doing it because I usually dislike time skips unless they are elaborated on and well placed. I don't know if I will live up to that, but I will do my utmost. So bare with me._

**QotC: **_What are your opinions of your siblings? If you're an only child, do you wish you had siblings or do you like being solo?_

**_WotD__:_** _Sonido - Sound._

_I don't have any fun stories for you today. But hey, that's alright. I'll post as soon as I can. See you guys._

_Thank you for the support guys._

Bye~


	4. Chapter 4

_So, I think I've figured out a pattern for posting._

_I typically have Fridays off, I don't this week but that's beside the point. So, basically I'll be able to update every Friday._

_Sound good?_

_Good._

_Anyways, enjoy lovelies._

_I only own the OCs._

* * *

><p>I shifted slightly in bed as I woke up randomly and snuggled closer to Itachi subconsciously, preparing to go back to sleep. I had been about to close my eyes again when I felt something off. There was a presence in my room that hadn't been there before, and it was close. Sable's tail thumping on the foot of the bed was confirmation of the presence.<p>

Frowning, I looked over my shoulder and cocked my head to the side when I saw Tiburon standing a few feet from me, looking both tired and scared, Jaws, his stuffed and fuzzy shark in his hand. Concerned, I kissed Itachi to get him to ease his hold on me so I could turn around. He woke up and looked at me with tired eyes.

"What?" He asked.

"We have company." I told him.

Itachi's eyes flicked to the door before he found Tiburon. His tired, annoy expression vanished and it was replaced by one that matched my own concern. "Tiburon? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Tiburon looked down shyly and rolled the hem of his shirt between his fingers. "I had a bad dream."

I bit my lip, knowing just how he felt, and I reached for him. Itachi's gaze softened sympathetically and he released me so I could grab our son. "Come on love, you can sleep with me and your dad."

He moved closer so I could pick him up and he let me set him between me and his dad. Once he was on the bed, Itachi pulled the covers over him and wrapped his arms around him from behind. I hugged Tibby and kissed the top of his head as he cuddled into me, Jaws always in his arms.

"Go to sleep Tibby. Your dad and I will keep the bad dreams away." I smiled and kissed Itachi's forehead. "Your daddy's really good at it."

Itachi looked at me and extended his arm so it wrapped around me and Tiburon. He pulled us both closer before closing his eyes and preparing to sleep. I watched him for a moment, petting Tiburon absently. Itachi had finally fell asleep by the time I realized Tiburon was still awake.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked quietly, kissing his forehead.

He looked up at me and shivered a little. "I don't remember it. I woke up and I wasn't in my bed. I just remember being really, really, really scared and I was breathing really, really, really hard."

I stiffened instantly. I had begged Jashin, Pein, and all other deities out there that Tiburon wouldn't inherit my sleeping disorder, but it seems he had. I knew how terrifying it could be so I sympathized and I feared for him. I hugged him tighter and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm so sorry Tibby." I whispered.

He looked up at me. "Why? It's not your fault, mommy."

I just shook my head. "I'm sorry." I stroked his hair for a minute before sighing. "Go to sleep baby."

"Kay." He yawned. He fell asleep shortly after, latched onto my person with one of his hands on Itachi's arm.

I stayed awake for another hour before I was able to push the guilt away and sleep.

"Aren't you three just the cutest?"

I opened my eyes and looked around for the voice to see Kisame standing at the foot of the bed. Sable was sitting there, licking his chin and wagging her tail happily.

Tiburon was awake too, sticking his tongue out at Kisame.

"I'll take it." Kisame threatened.

Tiburon smirked at him. "You won't be able to."

"Is that a challenge?" Kisame questioned. When Tiburon stuck his tongue out again, Kisame nudged Sable out of his way and climbed on the bed, grabbing for Tiburon's tongue. Tiburon yelped when Kisame began advancing towards him and he latched onto his dad.

Itachi jerked slightly at being grabbed and he opened his eyes, his Sharingan flaring cautiously. He looked around for the source of the disturbance and narrowed his gorgeous eyes at a guilty looking Kisame. "What are you doing, Kisame?"

"I'm going to take Tiburon's tongue." Kisame explained.

Itachi stared at Kisame for a moment before looking down at Tiburon who was still latched onto him. He glanced at me and rolled his eyes. "I'm going back to sleep."

"We're heading to Konoha today, lazy ass." Kisame told him.

Itachi opened one eye to glare at him.

Tiburon's face lit up. "I get to see Sasuke?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

He jumped up and began bouncing on the bed. "Wake up daddy! I wanna go to Konoha! Get up!"

Itachi buried his face in the pillow, causing me to start laughing. He was so cute when he was tired.

"I hate you Kisame." Itachi sighed.

"Daddy!" Tiburon pouted, flopping on the bed and cuddling into him to try and get his face out of the pillow. "Come on! I wanna go see Sasuke and Naruto and Kakashi and Kiba!"

"Awe, Lee will be so sad you didn't say his name." I smirked. "So will Shino as a matter of fact."

Tiburon looked around at me. "Lee scares me sometimes and Shino never talks."

"It figures you would like the rowdy ones like Naruto and Kiba." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"He is your child." Kisame grinned. "You like them too."

I smiled. "I love them. But I love the stoic ones too. Like Neji, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Gaara."

"Will Gaara be there?" Tiburon wondered.

"Yes." Itachi confirmed, lifting his face up from the pillow so he could get out of bed. "He will be there. So will Killer Bee."

Tiburon whooped loudly. "Yes!" He looked around excitedly. "When are we leaving?"

"OI!" Hidan shouted. "You Uchiha shitheads wake up! Ice Bitch needs to make food so we can leave!"

"Will someone explain to me why _everyone_ needs to go?" Itachi growled, walking to his dresser so he could get clothes to change into. "Why can't we leave Hidan here?"

"Because we wouldn't have a base to come back to." Kisame explained. "Not to mention, he'd spend a month bitching about it."

Itachi rolled his eyes, stopping before the bathroom door. "Can we put him up for adoption then or something? Is there somewhere we can take him?"

I snorted. "Itachi, be nice."

"He does not deserve niceness." He grumbled, disappearing into the bathroom.

"Hey! I have to pee!" I called.

The door shut.

"Asshole." I huffed. "He's so cranky in the morning. If he wasn't so cute, I'd find it annoying."

"You can use my bathroom if you need to, Alice." Kisame chuckled. "Tibby, let's go feed Sable."

Tiburon jumped to Kisame and said shark man caught him easily. He lifted Tiburon to his shoulders and whistled for Sable as I drifted away from the bed to the bathroom, intent on disturbing Itachi so I could use the toilet and force him to either take a shower with me or after me.

When we were done with our joint shower that was a bit longer than it should have been, I reported to the kitchen. Tiburon was wrestling with Hidan, their match being watched over carefully by Kisame. Kakuzu sat at the table, watching Tibby and Hidan and also going over our budget and prepping the money we would need for a hotel and food.

"Hidan, what do you want?" I asked, heading to the fridge.

"Why do you care what he wants?" Kakuzu asked.

I smirked. "I want to know what he wants so I don't make it." Itachi smirked as well and kissed the side of my head in approval.

"Fuck you!" Hidan shouted while Kakuzu chuckled along with Kisame about my reasoning.

"Tiburon, don't touch that. You have no idea where it has been." Itachi instructed, separating Tiburon and Hidan with his foot.

Hidan got up, swearing under his breath about Itachi's assholish behavior while Tiburon giggled and went to sit by Kakuzu. Kakuzu acknowledged him with a gentle pat to his head and a quiet grunt of recognition.

"Morning!" Kathryn greeted, skipping into the room with Sanaa at her side. Deidara followed them in, smirking a bit and Sasori trailed after them, rolling his eyes at their strangeness.

"Hey babe." I called, setting the oven and shit in preparation to cook. "Sasori, what do you want to eat?"

He rolled his eyes, allowing the ghost of a smirk to show on his face. "Whatever you want."

"I want pancakes!" Sanaa said enthusiastically.

"Pancakes coming up." I announced. "'Tachi? Tibby? Kakuzu? Kisame? Dei? Kat?"

"Whatever you feel like making works." Kisame, Itachi and Kakuzu said in some way or another. Deidara voiced his desire for bacon, and Kathryn and Tiburon wanted French toast. Hidan asked for sausage.

I quickly made food and distributed it, preparing three more plates when Konan, Pein, and Zetsu decided to join us.

Oh yeah, did I tell you that Sanaa _adored_ Zetsu?

Well she does.

The second he entered the room, she screamed his name and darted over to him. She latched onto him with an impressive grip for a three/almost four year old and refused to let go.

"**Sasori, come get your brat.** I can't eat when she's clinging to me like this.** Unless you want me to eat her…**" Zetsu sighed.

Sasori rolled his eyes and stood up. He pried an excited Sanaa from Zetsu's person and he held her in his lap. "Sanaa, you can't cling to people like that."

"Mommy does." Sanaa pouted. "And I _love_ Zetsu."

"Yes, well your mother is an idiot." Sasori deadpanned.

Kathryn whined. "Danna! You're so mean!"

"Don't talk about her like that, Danna un." Deidara snapped.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot too, Deidara."

"You guys are so loving." Konan giggled, setting Tiburon down on her lap. He had attacked her and Pein with affection when they walked in.

So we ate breakfast, I packed everything up and made Hidan eat all the food that might expire while we were gone. I bitched at everyone for not being prepared and I hounded Hidan and Deidara for not even packing anything.

Pein stood beside me, ordering people around and threatening them when my bitching didn't work. We made everyone go to the bathroom before we left because we weren't stopping along the way. Pein gave a big speech about how we all had to behave or he was going to beat the crap out of us.

Meanwhile, Tiburon sat on his shoulders, giving him rabbit ears and stuff. The rest of us were smiling at Pein, nodding and trying to hold back laughter at his seriousness while Tibby was screwing with him.

Anyways, currently we were on our way to Konoha. Kisame was giving me a piggy back while Itachi had Tiburon. Sanaa was latched onto Sasori while Deidara carried her mother. Sable ran beside Hidan, biting at his ankles occasionally and making him run into shit.

Yeah, some of us with Kiba's help, managed to teach Sable how to run with the chakra that everything in this world has. She isn't a ninja wolf or anything like that because there is no way I'd let her. The only thing she can do is run really fast which is super useful because she's way too big to be carried now. Not to mention, she can easily catch Hidan when he runs away from her.

It didn't take us long to get there, considering the Love Shack is much closer to Konoha than Ame is. However, while we knew people were expecting us, I was a little shocked by the welcoming party. Though, that was mainly because Shikamaru and Kakashi got off their asses to greet us.

And because Sasuke smiled.

Tiburon was ecstatic to see him. It was adorable.

The second Itachi set Tiburon down, he was sprinting to Sasuke, using his chakra to propel him forward. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke smiled gently but his smile faded when Tiburon crashed into him and knocked him off his feet.

That caused some laughter. It was mainly from Naruto, Suigetsu, Kisame, Deidara, Hidan, and Kiba who laughed at Sasuke's expense.

"Tiburon." Sasuke grunted. "Give me a little bit of a warning next time."

Tiburon just hugged his neck. "Sorry."

"It's alright." Sasuke sighed, swayed from his annoyance by Tiburon's cuteness. He grunted a bit when Sanaa jumped on him. "Hello Sanaa."

"Hi Sasuke!" Sanaa smiled. She kissed his cheek before darting to Naruto. "Naru!"

"Hey there kiddo!" Naruto grinned. He picked her up and hugged her tightly, fully aware that Deidara and Sasori were watching his every move.

Awe, they're so protective.

"Tsunade-sama and the other Kage await your presence, Pein-sama." Kakashi stated, dipping his head in Pein's direction. He then looked around and smiled at me from beneath his mask. "Alice, you were asked to go too. You're each permitted to bring one other with you."

I nodded. "Thanks Kakashi. Itachi, do you want to come or should I bring Kisame?"

"I will come." Itachi said calmly. "Kisame, watch over Tiburon."

Kisame patted Itachi's shoulder. "Of course. Me and Sasuke got it covered."

"Alice, Konan, Itachi, come. Kakuzu, Sasori, and Kisame are in charge. Kathryn, Deidara, and Hidan, behave or you will suffer." Pein said firmly. He waited for their response before we followed after Kakashi and Shikamaru as they led us through Konoha and to the meeting hall.

"Yo Alice!" Bee greeted as we entered the giant meeting room filled with Kage and their advisers. All of them had two. Pein's two included Itachi and Konan. I didn't count because I was just a chakraless girl.

Jerks.

"Hey Bee." I waved. I elbowed the ginger sitting beside me. "How are you, Gaara?"

Gaara dipped his head at me. "I am good, Alice. How are you?"

"Dandy." I said with a smirk. I sat in the seat beside Gaara while Itachi stood calmly behind me. Pein sat to my left with Konan standing behind him. I looked around the room boredly, taking in all of the familiar faces before my eyes landed on someone who I did not know.

He was a large man with massive shoulders. He wasn't overly tall, but he wasn't short. Stocky would be the word I'd use to describe him. Anyways, he had some sort of a feathery comb-over going on with his brown hair. His eyes were a dull gray and his skin was pasty and pale. He kind of had a reptilian looking face, but there was an aspect about his appearance that I couldn't quite place. It looked familiar, but I couldn't figure out what it related to.

"Who's that?" I asked, elbowing Pein.

Pein glanced at me. "The new Otokage."

I stared at him. "Excuse me? Am I the only one who sees a problem here?"

"Someone needs to restore order to that village. And if we become allies, we can keep an eye on them." Pein said quietly. "Push aside your prejudices, Alice."

"No promises." I retorted. Itachi placed his hand on my shoulder, and looked down at me in a soothing manner.

"You're late." Black Kage stated, looking at Pein and I.

I gave him a deadpan expression. "You try getting a base full of children to pack and travel in a timely fashion. It was easier to get my son ready to go than it was Hidan and Deidara."

He smirked a bit. "Fair enough."

"So…" I began. "What's going on?"

"We are here to extend our alliance with Oto." Tsunade explained. "This is Sonido."

I smiled. "Well that's a fitting name."

"What?" Ōnoki asked.

"His name, Sonido, means sound in Spanish." I pointed out with a smirk. "Spanish is a language that is used in Ohio by some people. But, that's off topic." I waved. "Continue."

"We are extending the alliance to include Oto since their number of Shinobi is increasing." Mei smiled. "Sonido, you previously signed a copy of the treaty that had a number of conditions and rules when it was offered to you by the Raikage. Now, before the rest of the Kage, please sign the formal, official treaty with your blood and a bit of chakra. That is, if you still wish to become one of the Allied Shinobi Villages."

Sonido looked away from me briefly to look at the Mizukage. "I will sign."

I shivered a bit at his voice. And no, it wasn't in a good way. His voice was creepy. It sounded almost slippery and damp. It sent a chill down my spine and it made me want to frown in disgust.

I avoided looking at him as he signed the paper. So instead, I communicated with Pein.

We twitched at each other, talking about basically nothing. I told him about my dislike for the creep while he soothed me with his twitches.

Itachi and Konan stood behind us with deadpan expressions, knowing what we were doing.

Our silent conversation was interrupted by Tsunade who went off on a small discussion about what was going to be expected of Sonido now that he was a part of the alliance. Sonido nodded when necessary, but otherwise he just stared across the table creepily.

At me.

And I don't like being stared at.

"Do you have a problem, asshole?" I snapped, finally fed up with his staring. "Why are you staring at me?"

All of the Kage paused and looked between us. None of them were surprised by my sudden mood swing. Itachi and Pein sighed deeply in unison while Konan smiled.

Sonido simply shrugged.

I narrowed my eyes and prepared to insult him but Itachi placed his hand over my mouth to quiet me. "Alice, that would not be wise."

I looked up at him. "He's staring at me."

"I know, but you cannot insult him merely because he is staring at you." Itachi sighed. "Relax. The meeting is almost over."

I huffed and crossed my arms before I noticed Sonido was _still_ staring at me. "If you keep staring at me, I'll rip your eyes out of their sockets. If you want to have a staring contest, have one with him." I pointed up at Itachi who had his Sharingan activated. "And I will bet you that he will win."

"Alice." Pein sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Calm down."

I looked away from him. "Fine."

"Forgive her. She is viciously bipolar." Pein said calmly, looking at Sonido. "She cannot help it."

"You should've seen her when she was preggo." Bee snickered. "You'd have already lost your head, yo."

Kakashi chuckled while Tsunade and Konan smiled. They knew all about my insanity. The others did too, but they weren't around it as much.

"Well, I think that will be enough for one day. We will address other matters tomorrow as I'm sure you're all tired from travel. Please, feel free to stay as long as you'd like. You are welcome to venture around Konoha to your heart's content. Just please, try to not cause any trouble." Tsunade smiled, looking at me towards the end. "Meeting dismissed."

"Hey, it's not me you need to worry about. It's anyone who makes me mad." I smiled. "But don't worry. I'll limit the beating to Hidan only."

Shikamaru chuckled.

"Come, Alice." Itachi said calmly, grabbing my hand. I followed after him, knowing he was going to lecture me on my violent ways. We left Konan and Pein to their own devices so that Itachi could scold me.

When we finally got on to the busy streets of Konoha, Itachi turned to me. "Alice."

"Don't lecture me." I huffed. "I don't like that guy. He sketches me out."

He gave me a look. "Alice, you can't act that way towards people. Not only is it unkind, he is a superior and it isn't good to teach Tiburon these things."

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Itachi, I am not from this world so your customs are not mine. _No one_ is my superior unless I say they can be. Even then, I won't bow down to any of them unless I _want_ to. I know I can be unkind, but I'm an unkind person. I don't like being stared at, especially when I have never spoken to that person in my life. Tiburon wasn't around, so I don't see what you're complaining about."

Itachi sighed. "You're just as stubborn as always."

"Would you rather I change?" I asked.

He shook his head and kissed my forehead. "Never. I love you Alice. Your personality makes you who you are. It's just… your personality makes some people angry and I don't want you to make any dangerous enemies."

I smiled and patted his cheek. "Good response. Come on, I'm having anxiety attacks without Tiburon. And don't worry about enemies. If I have any, you can just take out your pent up frustration on them."

He chuckled. "Fair enough."

* * *

><p><em>Ah, Alice's temper issues. It never goes away.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Yesterday's Naruto episode made me sad. :( I love Kisame so much._

Answer: _I have a brother and a half sister. I hate my half sister with a passion and I love my elder brother dearly. My brother is my best friend and I would probably die without him. I miss him like crazy now that he's off in college and I'm soon to follow._

**QotC: **_If you could be affiliated with any of the hidden villages, which one would you be apart of and why? I want real ones. Not made up ones._

_**WotC:**Perro = Dog in Spanish. Gato = Cat._

_So... yeah... every Friday as far as I know, and potentially other days when I'm off or if there's something significant to that day. If I find time to post more often, I most certainly will but don't hold me to it._

_I hope you enjoyed lovelies. :D_

_Adios~  
><em>


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter five._

_I feel like this story is going to take forever to finish..._

_I might have to go back to two chapters a week so I can finish it before I die._

_Maybe..._

_If I have time, I might.  
><em>

_Enjoy dearies. I do not own Naruto._

* * *

><p>"Girls' day out!"<p>

I lifted my head off of Itachi's bare, perfect chest and looked towards the door, unwillingly torn from my peaceful sleep. "What?"

Kathryn was standing in the doorway with Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Temari, and Tenten. She smiled at me brightly. "We're having a girls' day. Come on. If anyone needs a break from guys, it's you."

I stared at her for a minute before putting my head back on my sleeping husband and preparing to go back to sleep.

"Alice!" Kathryn snapped. "Don't make me jump on the bed."

"Do it." I grunted. "Itachi is extremely pissy when he gets woken up before he's ready. He'll rip your tits off."

"I'll get Danna." She threatened.

I shrugged and yawned. "Get out."

She huffed. "Alice!"

"Sable!" I snapped.

Sable lifted her head off of my legs and turned her head towards the door, a snarl building in her chest. Kathryn yelped and hid behind Hinata.

Sakura sighed. "Alice, come out with us."

"If one more person speaks, I _will_ kill them." Itachi growled. A few of the girls paled and backed away.

I smirked and kissed his clavicle.

"But…" Kathryn began.

Itachi's eyes opened slowly and he looked in Kathryn's direction, his Sharingan flaring. "Out."

"You don't scare me Itachi because I know you'd never hurt me. Momma, come on." Kathryn ordered.

Itachi looked at me. "You either go with them, or I get to kill them."

"Kill them." I shrugged, latching onto him. When Kathryn started making a groaning noise in order to get her way, Itachi ripped the lamp off the table beside the bed and threw it at her. I snorted with amusement at her scream and sat up. "Alright, I'll come. Get out though or he'll be in a pissed off mood all day."

"Hn." Itachi grunted, turning over.

I shooed the shocked girls out of my room and got ready quickly. I kissed Itachi's cheek gently once I was done and he woke up long enough to grab me and kiss me fully before turning over and going back to sleep.

Rolling my eyes at his adorable behavior, I patted my hip for Sable and I entered the main room of my hotel room to see all of the girls sitting on the couches waiting for me.

"Is he always like that?" Sakura wondered, looking at me.

I shrugged. "It depends on how tired he is. It was his turn to chase Tiburon around last night because someone," I gave Kathryn a look, "gave him sugar."

Kathryn grinned at me.

"Tiburon is so cute." Ino cooed.

I smiled. "Thank you. He is adorable."

"Yeah, but so is Sanaa." Temari smiled.

Kathryn nodded. "Hell yeah she is!"

"So, why did you guys drag me out of bed? It better be better than sleeping with a shirtless Uchiha." I stated. Sakura and Ino drooled at the thought and I would be lying if I said I didn't too.

"We're having a girls' day out." Tenten stated. "Kathryn only told you twice."

I sighed. "Really?"

"Yes. Really." Kathryn nodded. "Unfortunately, the Kage are having a meeting so Konan can't come with us because she's with Pein. But you _are_ going or so help me I will tell Danna."

"So tell him." I shrugged. "I don't give a shit. Sasori doesn't scare me."

"I'll tell Kakuzu you stole his ten bucks." Kathryn threatened.

"That was Hidan, not me." I deadpanned. "You're horrible at threatening people."

"Alice!" Sakura sighed. "You're going! End of story! Now come on."

I crossed my arms. "I'm not going anywhere until I'm certain my son and husband are going to be fed."

Kathryn got up, stormed around me, threw open my temporary bedroom door, and marched inside. "Yo! Weasel-face. We're kidnapping Alice. You're in charge of feeding yourself and Tibby because you're a big boy and you don't need Alice to take care of you."

"Remove your friend from this room Alice or I will." Itachi growled.

"Kathryn." I snapped. "If he's in a pissed off mood all day, I _will_ skin your ass."

Kathryn sprinted out of the room, shutting the door behind her and running to the door leading to the hallway. "I gave him a Wet Willy. Let's go."

The second she said that, the door to my bedroom erupted in flames.

"Oh fuck you Kathryn!" I yelped, darting out of the room to avoid a tired Itachi's wrath.

* * *

><p>"So who is watching Sanaa?" I asked, sipping on an ice water from some tea shop Sakura and Ino dragged us to. Sable was sitting on the chair beside me, even though dogs weren't allowed inside. I bypassed the sign, informing the workers that Sable was in fact, a wolf, and thus allowed inside because their sign said nothing about wolves. When they made to challenge me, I showed them who was boss and they eventually gave in.<p>

Kathryn looked up from making bubbles in her drink. "Danna is. Deidara was still sleeping when Danna woke me up this morning so he'll probably help out when he gets up."

"I'm so jealous of you two." Ino sighed. "You both seem so happy."

"Not to mention their husbands are freaking sexy." Sakura added.

Hinata smiled. "And their kids are adorable."

Kathryn beamed. "Well thanks!" She elbowed me. "It's so different being with females other than Alice. She repels girly stuff."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Just because I don't squeal over mushy shit does not mean I repel girly stuff."

"Alice, you gag at chick flicks and practically sprint to gory movies." Kathryn deadpanned.

"What can I say? Violence excites me." I shrugged.

"So is that why you like Itachi?" Tenten asked. A few of the girls snickered at the not-so-hidden meaning.

I looked at her. "There are a lot of reasons why I like Itachi. Violence isn't one of them actually, considering he's a pacifist when he can help it. He also pretty much refuses to hurt people in front of me unless it's one of the guys. The violence factor is why I love Hidan."

Ino frowned. "He's a psycho."

"Yeah." I nodded. "But I love him. He's a good guy once you get by the sadistic, masochistic, and religious side of him."

Temari shook her head. "He's strange, but he _is_ good looking."

"You know who else is good looking?" Kathryn wondered. "Other than Deidara."

Hinata smiled. "Who?"

"Kakashi." Kathryn stated, her eyes locked on a certain silver haired man with a mask as he strolled down the street reading one of his favorite porn novels.

I bumped fists with her. "Hell yeah he is."

"Ew." Sakura protested.

"He was your teacher. You're supposed to think that way. But deep down, you know he's hot." I excused. "Asuma was alright looking too."

Ino made a face. "You two are so weird."

"We just have good taste." Kathryn grinned.

"Gaara's hot as well." I added. Temari gagged into her drink.

Kathryn nodded. "Naruto's a cutie."

Hinata blushed a deep red because she knew we were right.

"Shikamaru's kinda hot." I pointed out. "And Yamato's alright."

Temari and Ino both tensed pointedly while Sakura made another face.

"I think Kiba's really cute too." Kathryn giggled, looking at me. "And Sai."

I dipped my head. "Yep. Neji's pretty good looking as well."

Tenten choked on her drink and Hinata made a face, her blush lightening.

"Wow, who isn't hot to you two?" Sakura asked.

Kathryn and I looked at each other. "Gai."

All five girls gagged.

"But, I have to say that Sasuke takes the cake." I admitted. "Brother-in-law or not, he is adorable."

All of the girls beside Hinata and Temari held up their glasses. "Here here."

"While all of these Konoha boys are cute and Gaara's cute…" I mused. "Itachi definitely puts them all to shame. That man is the epitome of sexiness."

Kathryn shook her head. "Deidara is better."

"He looks like a girl." I deadpanned.

She glared. "Itachi has wrinkles."

"So do you." I pointed out.

She gasped and grabbed at her face in horror. "DO I REALLY?" Sable's ears perked at the loud volume and she growled, looking around the area for danger. I stroked her fur to soothe her and she relaxed instantly, licking the side of my face.

I snorted and shook my head. "No idiot. You don't have wrinkles." I looked around at the other staring at us and raised my eyebrow at them. "So… isn't there supposed to be extreme gossiping going on during these sorts of things? Or… aren't we supposed to go to like a spa or something and pamper ourselves unnecessarily just because?"

Tenten sighed. "We aren't in the movies or some TV show, Alice."

"Bullshit." I stated. Kathryn started laughing.

"What?" Hinata wondered.

I shook my head. "So, what _are_ we supposed to do during these little gathering things?"

"Talk." Sakura shrugged.

"So I was right about the gossiping." I nodded. "I thought so."

Ino smirked and leaned onto the table to look at me. "So gossip, Alice."

"About what?" I wondered.

"Well, you're a married woman. You could talk about your husband and his… proficiency in the bedroom." Temari mused.

I snorted into my water and Kathryn patted me on the back just in case.

"You could harp on about Tiburon and the other guys you live with." Sakura continued. "Or Sasuke-kun and some of the other guys in the village. You know everything about them, don't you?"

I looked at her, smirking. "I suppose there's no harm in telling you. Though, if you guys tell Sasuke I told you this stuff, he will beat me up or lock me in the closet for an hour again. So don't say anything to him. In fact, don't tell any of the guys I'm going to ramble about that I'm telling you this stuff because I'd rather not deal with their nonsense.

"Deal." Tenten smirked.

I returned her smirk and entwined my fingers. "So… Who is first?"

"Well who do you know the best?" Hinata asked.

Kathryn raised her eyebrow at her. "Are you kidding me? This girl could recite Itachi's life story to you verbatim and tell you every thought that ever passed through his mind."

Sakura and Ino both smirked in unison. "Spill."

"He's perfect." I shrugged, petting Sable absently

"Does he have any weird fetishes?" Ino pressed.

I laughed. "Uh no. He doesn't. He does have a strange fascination with blood, and sometimes when we're... doing our thing… he likes to torture me. Not like beating and shoving bamboo splints up my fingernails but like tying me down and teasing the hell out of me until I'm basically ready to explode. He gets rather into it too."

"Kinky." Tenten commented. Kathryn meanwhile was making a grossed out face.

"I didn't need to know that Momma." Kathryn pouted.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

"What about Deidara, Kathryn?" Temari prodded. "He does have four mouths."

Sakura and Ino's eyes went wide and they leaned closer while Hinata blushed madly and Tenten laughed.

Kathryn smiled and sighed dreamily. "I _love_ his mouths. He's very skilled with them."

I gagged.

"That's what you get." Kathryn stuck her tongue out at me.

I shuddered. "Okay, moving on from sex because I don't want to imagine Kathryn doing the dirty…"

"What's your favorite _physical_ thing about him?" Tenten asked.

"That's a hard one." I stated as I thought about it. "It would have to be his Sharingan, his voice, his hair, or his muscles." I bit my lip. "If it came down to it, I'd say his Sharingan because they're the sexiest things I've ever seen. His voice does things to me that I will _never_ admit out loud so that would have to be second. His muscles are drool inducing and perfect and they're a close third. And his hair, oh his _hair_. It's in better condition than mine is and it's definitely prettier."

Sakura laughed. "What about Deidara, Kathryn?"

Kathryn bit her lip in thought. "Favorite physical thing about Deidara… Probably his eyes. They're so pretty. His hair is perfect, and his muscles…" She grinned. "My second favorite physical attribute about Deidara would have to be his extra mouths though."

I snickered. "His hand mouths are so awesome."

She smiled. "I know."

"Do they have any quirks or habits that you like best?" Temari questioned.

I smirked. "Itachi's adorable when he's tired. He's sexy when he's angry, and he's so cute when he's concentrating on something. However, my favorite is probably how sweet and gentle he is with Tiburon and Sanaa."

"Awe." Ino giggled. "That's cute." She looked at Kathryn. "Your hubby?"

Kathryn smiled. "I like it when Deidara's playing and wrestling with the kids. He gets so excited and into it. Though, he's _so_ sexy when he blows shit up."

"What's the sweetest thing either them have done for you?" Hinata wondered.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "That's a good question. Itachi does a lot of sweet things for me."

"Deidara is like the definition of sweet." Kathryn stated.

I shook my head. "No he isn't."

She glared at me.

I smirked. "Kisame is."

"Oh." She nodded. "Yeah, Kisame's a sweetheart."

"The giant, blue guy?" Temari asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Kisame is a saint and his blue skin only makes him more adorable. Don't call him a giant, blue guy like he isn't perfect. I swear if there was an award for the nicest person in the world, Kisame would win it in a heartbeat."

"He treats Alice like she's the queen of the world." Kathryn elaborated. "And he's pretty freaking sweet to me too. Tiburon considers Kisame like another father."

"Not to mention, he has the _best _hugs _**ever**_." I added.

"The meanest person would have to go to Hidan." Kathryn grinned.

I shook my head. "No, Hidan can be a sweetheart when he wants to. They call can be really nice when they want. Biggest, murderous pervert award would go to Hidan."

"It only seems like he's nice to you two though." Sakura pointed out.

I shrugged. "That's because he pretty much is only nice to us. Though, he does get pissed when we make fun of him."

"Like the time you and Danna caught him and Kakuzu spooning?" Kathryn snickered.

I sighed with a huge smile. "Ah, that was one of the best days of my life in Ohio."

"Wait…" Ino stopped me. "You're telling me that Hidan, the immortal guy who killed our sensei, was spooning with Kakuzu, that really stoic and greedy tan guy?"

I smirked. "Yep. It was hilarious. I thought Sasori and I were going to piss our pants."

"It's really weird hearing about the men who tried to kill us in such a… civilized manner. Hearing their embarrassing stories changes my opinion on them so much." Sakura smiled.

"I agree." Hinata nodded. "I never imaged Kisame to be such a sweetheart. Hearing you talk about him makes him seem like the nicest person in the world."

"I've seen him angry, so hearing about his sweetness is mind blowing." Tenten commented.

"Mommy!"

I glanced around, recognizing the voice, to see Tiburon running towards me with Itachi and Kisame trailing behind him. Sable's tail began wagging furiously and she jumped off her seat to go and greet Itachi.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear." Temari smirked.

I smiled at Tiburon and picked him up when he reached the picnic table we were sitting at. Our table at the tea shop was technically outside, the furthest one away from the inside because of Sable. "Hey baby. What are you doing?"

"Daddy and Kisa were helping me train and then Daddy said he wanted to find you to see if you were okay." Tiburon admitted. He sighed dramatically and looked between me and his dad. "I told him you were fine because nothing can hurt you mommy but he didn't listen."

The girls around me cooed at his adorableness but I just kissed his forehead. "Your daddy just needed an excuse to come see me because he loves me."

Itachi scoffed slightly. "As if I would need an excuse to find you." He leaned over to kiss me gently.

I returned the kiss with a roll of my eyes. "Of course. The Uchiha do what they want when they want."

"Exactly." He smirked. His eyes flicked over my companions and he dipped his head in greeting before his gorgeous Sharingan found Kathryn. "Kathryn."

She grinned at him. "Hey Itachi! What's up?"

"I will get you back for this morning." Itachi threatened.

She poked his stomach. "Bring it."

Kisame patted Kathryn's head, chuckling. "Don't try him, Kat. He gets into his Uchiha moods and nothing stops him."

"Hn." Itachi grunted.

Kisame kissed the top of my head and rumpled my hair. "Hey kiddo. Hidan was bitching for like an hour this morning about you not making breakfast."

I shrugged. "Let him starve."

Itachi smirked. "My thoughts exactly."

I shook my head at him before looking at the girls who looked confused as hell and slightly interested. "Itachi doesn't like Hidan that much."

"It's not that I don't like him so much as he gets on my nerves." Itachi corrected.

"And you don't like his perverted and violent behavior because it's a bad influence on Tiburon and his perverseness is usually directed at me." I added.

He shrugged.

I smiled and patted his chest. "You're cute." I looked down at Tiburon who was trying to reach around me. "What are you doing, Tibby?"

"I want a drink of your water." He told me.

Itachi reached around me before I could move and he plucked my drink from the table and handed it to Tiburon without a word.

"Thanks daddy." Tiburon stated, opening his mouth more than necessary to latch onto the straw. It was nothing sort of freaking adorable.

Itachi rumpled his hair. "Hn."

"Awe." Sakura smiled. "How cute!"

"Shh!" Kathryn smirked. "You're going to damage his manly Uchiha pride."

Kisame snorted.

"At least I have manly pride. Unlike your husband." Itachi said coldly.

I laughed. "Ouch."

"FUCK YOU UCHIHA! I HEARD THAT, UN!"

Sable howled in unison and darted away from Kisame's side to greet the new arrival.

Kathryn's face lit up and she looked in the direction of the voice. "Dei!"

Deidara was a few yards away, his arms crossed and Sanaa sitting on his shoulders as he marched over. Sasori was trailing behind him a bit, chuckling about Itachi's insult.

"Nice one, Itachi." Sasori chuckled, petting Sable.

"Hn." Itachi replied, dipping his head in Sasori's direction while Deidara pouted deeply about being insulted.

"Awe." Kathryn cooed, extending her hands towards Deidara. "Come here Dei. I'll make it better. He's just jealous because you're more beautiful."

"Bullshit." I stated, petting Tiburon. "Itachi is gorgeous. Look at those eyes."

My weasel just sighed and rolled said eyes.

Sasori plucked Sanaa off Deidara's shoulders as Deidara walked forward to greet Kathryn and he set her on the ground so she could run forward to hug her mother. The second Kathryn was done sucking face with Deidara, she scooped up Sanaa and hugged her tightly.

"You're so adorable Sanaa." Kathryn chirped, nuzzling her face.

Sanaa hugged her mother. "Thanks mommy. You're adorable too."

The girls awed in unison, because it was cute mother and daughter love, and because Sanaa mispronounced adorable.

"Your kids are the cutest things!" Temari squealed.

Deidara and I looked at her. "We know."

Tiburon looked back at me by tossing his head backwards and looking up me upside-down. "What are you doing out here mommy?"

"Kathryn and I are spending some time with these girls." I told him, kissing his nose. "Why don't you say hi?"

He looked around at them with his head tilted to the side before he waved. "Hi!"

"Hi Tiburon." They said together.

Sakura beamed at him. "You look so much like your daddy."

Tiburon looked at her. "I know. Mommy tells me all the time."

"You're so cute Tiburon." Ino told him.

He huffed. "Boys aren't cute."

Five squeals sounded from the Konoha Kunoichi.

"Oh my Jashin he looks just like Itachi when he makes that face." Kathryn stated as Tiburon started glaring.

"He always looks just like Itachi, un." Deidara commented with a smirk.

"Everyone says I act like mommy and Sori-Danna though." Tiburon said, leaning back into me on my lap.

"You do." Kathryn stressed, looking away from Sanaa.

"Don't say it like it's a bad thing." I frowned.

Sasori elbowed me. "It kind of is when you think about it."

I shrugged. "It has its ups and downs."

He smirked suggestively.

I smirked suggestively.

Itachi sighed.

"Don't say it." Itachi scolded.

I pouted. "Mean."

"Alice." He sighed, shaking his head.

"You love it." I told him with a shrug.

He nodded and stroked my hair. "I do."

"Awe!" Ino squealed. "I wish Sasuke would be like that. You two are so cute."

"Sasuke is emotionally retarded." I deadpanned. "Itachi's just naturally perfect."

Itachi snorted with amusement with Sasori while Deidara and Kisame laughed.

"Love you too, Alice." Said duck-butt told me. He was then forced to cut his glaring in order to dodge being tackled by Sable.

"Sasuke!" Tiburon greeted, waving.

I smiled at Sasuke while a few girls ogled at him. "You're cute Sasuke."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He plucked Tiburon out of my arms and hugged his nephew. "Mine."

Cue five simultaneous squeals from the girls.

Itachi gave Sasuke a look. "Do you really want to start this, otouto?"

"Kill the man with the Tiburon?" Kisame grinned, stepping forward to stand beside his partner.

"You are not playing that game with my son again. Last time, Hidan lost his head and Deidara was unconscious for three hours. Itachi will win anyways so what is the point?" I growled. "Give him back." I held out my arms, not leaving any room for argument.

Sasuke decided to argue anyways. "Make me."

"I'll kill you." I told him seriously.

Tiburon simply grinned as he looked between all of us.

I made to order Sasuke to give Tiburon back to me when something caught my eye. I looked around Sasuke to see the familiar form of Sonido leaning against a tree, watching us from down the street. His eyes met mine and he refused to look away.

"He's fucking staring at me again!" I barked. "I hate that guy!"

Itachi twitched at my sudden animosity and looked around to see Sonido. He sighed. "Alice, it's alright calm down."

"No it is not alright. That is not fucking normal!" I snapped. "If he doesn't quit staring at me, I'm going to freaking punch his eyes in."

"Who?" Sasuke wondered, looking around.

"The new Otokage and his creepiness." I growled.

Sasuke stiffened and he glared, his Sharingan whirling as his eyes found Sonido.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "That will do, Alice. Just ignore him."

"It's hard to freaking ignore him when he's staring at me." I stated. "I thought there was a Kage meeting."

"It's over now." Pein announced as he joined us with Konan at his side. "Alice, come back to the hotel. We need to talk about your… issue with the Otokage."

I glared as I got up. "It'll be more than an issue if he keeps staring at me."

* * *

><p><em>Staring is rude.<em>

_**Fun Fact: ** __Alice has a tongue ring. The stud color varies._

Answer: _Probably Konoha, because it has Kakashi. If not Konoha, than Ame or Kiri because Ame has Pein and Kiri has seven swordsmen._

**QotC: **_What year do you graduate? If you've already graduated, what year did you graduate? From High school and college. I don't care. Take your pick._

_**WotD:**__Loco/Loca = Crazy. The O and the A at the end vary depending on the masculinity of the object being described or if it's feminine. For example: Alice es muy loca. Alice is very crazy. It's loca because Alice is a girl. :)  
>I should be a Spanish teacher.<em>

_Now I get to go type an essay! Woo!_

_See you later:)  
><em>


	6. Chapter 6

_So, I'm going to try my hand at updating twice a week again._

_It might not work out too well because I work a shit ton._

_Gotta pay for a private college somehow..._

_But anyways, I do not own Naruto. Enjoy my lovelies._

_I literally have no voice. I'm that sick._

_Working Drive-Thru sucks._

* * *

><p>You wanna know what one of the cutest things in the world is?<p>

Watching Kisame, Hidan, Deidara, the good members of Taka, the Konoha 11, Sai, Kathryn, Akamaru, and Sable play hide and seek with a three year old and a four year old.

Itachi and I sat beside Sasori, Kakuzu, and Kakashi watching our idiots run around with my kids. Pein and Konan were at a private meeting with the Kage where no advisers were needed hence why Itachi and I weren't with them. Tiburon and Sanaa were it this round since they were a two-man team and they were searching for their victims, using ninja techniques

Sable was on their team, but her main target was Akamaru who she enjoyed messing with. Surprisingly, since he was a ninja-dog, she was bigger than him and faster. He had experience and… dog-jutsu on her, but she, being a wolf, is naturally better. But, their antics had gotten to the point where she and Akamaru just played their own game.

To be honest, it's kind of cute. Like... canine flirting.

It's a good thing Akamaru isn't allowed to breed with a non-ninja dog.

Or wolf in Sable's case.

Currently, my son and Kathryn's daughter had split up after finding Kathryn and a few Konoha 11 members in order to locate the others. Tiburon was dead set on finding Kisame and Sanaa was determined to find her daddy.

"Mommy, do you see them?" Tiburon asked, looking towards me.

"No, but I can help you." I smirked. "Art is eternal!" I shouted.

"NO IT'S NOT, UN!" Deidara protested loudly, sticking his head out of a bush to glare at me.

Sanaa giggled while her mom snorted with laughter. Sasori merely rolled his eyes and face-palmed. "Found you daddy!"

I smiled. "Hidan! You're a dumb ass!"

"Fuck you Alice!" Hidan shouted, throwing a kunai at me. Itachi caught it boredly and threw it back at Hidan. It cracked into his head and he fell out of a tree, allowing Tiburon to run up and tag him.

"Got you Hidan-oji!" Tiburon announced with a grin.

"You Uchiha fucking suck." Hidan growled, getting to his feet.

Itachi smirked victoriously.

"Wanna help us find people, Hidan-oji?" Tiburon wondered.

Hidan shrugged. "Why the fuck not?" He rumpled Tiburon's hair. "Your stupid Uchiha uncle is in a tree about fifteen feet in. Jūgo's over by the river with that white haired shit from Kiri. Ask Sable to find people for you. She's good at that shit."

"Kay." Tiburon smiled. "Come on Sanaa."

"Tiburon, Sanaa, do _not_ go into that river." I called. "If you do, you're going to be in trouble."

Tiburon nodded, looking up at me as Sanaa joined him. "Okay Mom." Sanaa merely beamed at me.

I watched him run off with Sanaa before sighing. "He's going to go into the river."

"Most likely." Itachi stated, running his fingers through my hair. "Kisame, watch him please. He will get angry if we interfere with his game."

Kisame dropped down from a tree not too far away and nodded with a grin. "I'm on it."

I watched Kisame trail after Tiburon and Sanaa before I noticed something different. I looked passed Kisame and my eyes narrowed when I made out a stocky, pale man standing on the other side of the river, watching us.

"That asshole is watching us again." I huffed. I had told the others about that guy and Sasuke glared at the wall for like fifteen minutes. Hidan volunteered to kill him, but Pein beat him with a lamp so he wasn't allowed. Everyone else was suspicious, but they pretty much sided with Itachi and told me I was overreacting. Pein threatened to lock me in the tower with the bodies he wasn't animating if I started anything with Sonido.

Of course, that enticed a sarcastic reaction from me which made a few people blush/nosebleed/start laughing. Pein face-palmed and then pulled out his trump card.

Uchiha deprivation.

Hell to the fucking no.

I gave in.

However, that didn't stop me from bitching about it. However, Pein and the others could just ignore me.

Sasuke was the only one to agree with me.

"He's probably just curious, Alice." Sasori soothed. "We were previously a criminal organization and you're a rather vocal and violent woman who lacks a profanity filter and chakra. It is unique and I'm sure he's curious and slightly suspicious. You shouldn't read into things so much."

Kakashi patted my shoulder. "He's right, Alice. We thoroughly investigated him before we allowed him into Konoha."

I stood. "Whatever. I know a sketchy as fuck dude when I see one."

"Where are you going, un?" Deidara wondered as he reached our sitting spot. He kissed Kathryn fully and looked around at me as I began walking away.

"I'm going to keep an eye on my son with Creeps McGee around." I told him.

"Tiburon went towards the river." Kakuzu pointed out. "You're going the wrong way."

I glanced at him, still walking towards the woods. "I'm going to get Sasuke."

Itachi raised his eyebrow.

"I'm getting him because he's the only one who doesn't think I'm just being a cranky bitch when I say that guy is strange." I explained, not even bothering to look back.

Sasori chuckled. "I think that means you're sleeping on the couch, Itachi."

I smirked as I walked away, amused by Sasori's statement. I reached the tree line soon enough and when I did, I walked about fifteen feet in and looked around. "Sasuke?"

A quiet thump sounded behind me and I looked around to see my brother-in-law cocking his head to the side at me curiously. "What's wrong Alice?"

"Wanna come with me to watch over Tibby and Sanaa? Creeper is standing on the other side of the river watching us. I'm not comfortable with my son being out of my sight while he's around." I explained.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he nodded. "I'll come."

"Thank you." I smiled. "Come on. He went towards the river to find Jūgo and Suigetsu." I whistled. "Sable!"

A howl was my response and Sable came bounding over to me from the darkness of the trees. Her tail wagged excitedly and she trotted after Sasuke and I as we made our way towards the river.

When we got there, Tiburon was drenched from the river and Sanaa was sitting on Jūgo's shoulders, laughing at Tiburon who was hanging upside down in Kisame's grasp. Said shark had just emerged from hiding and got drenched himself when Tiburon tried to chase after Suigetsu and tripped into the shallows.

Tiburon, of course, then proceeded to swim after Suigetsu, not caring that he was swimming in a _river_ and not the lake near the base. Because he was four, he basically wasn't swimming in the current at all and it had only been a matter of time before he was swept away.

Suigetsu took off running when he saw me and Sasuke emerge from the woods, knowing we would be angry at him for provoking Tiburon. Kisame simply handed me my son without a word and preformed a quick jutsu to dry his clothing.

"Care to explain?" I asked, looking at my soaked son.

He pouted. "It's Suigetsu's fault."

"Of course it is." I said with a roll of my eyes. I took Sanaa from Jūgo when he approached and she sat on my shoulders while Sasuke took Tiburon. "We'll see what your dad thinks."

Tiburon huffed. "Dad's gonna be mad at me."

"Oh so my opinions don't matter?" I asked.

"You love me more." He pointed out with a hopeful smile. He was trying to butter me up.

Brat.

I rolled my eyes. "Tiburon, your dad loves you more than anything. He'd probably throw me to the sharks."

"Don't worry Alice." Kisame grinned. "I wouldn't eat you."

I smirked. "Thanks Kisa."

"Now Tiburon…" Kisame mused playfully.

Tiburon grinned at him. His grin faded however, when the others came into view and Itachi began walking over to us with Kathryn. Kathryn was skipping, but that's not important. What is important is that Tiburon buried his face into Sasuke's shoulder, knowing he was going to get scolded.

"Come here baby!" Kathryn cooed, snatching Sanaa from me. Sanaa giggled and hugged her mother, both of them squeezing each other and grinning like idiots.

They're so cute.

Itachi reached us shortly after Kathryn did and he kissed my cheek and took my hand before his eyes flicked to Tiburon. He assessed Tiburon's drenched clothing before he sighed. "Tiburon."

"It was Suigetsu's fault!" Tiburon said firmly. "I didn't mean to go in the river."

Itachi raised his eyebrow. "From the way you're denying it, it makes me think you did it on purpose."

"Daddy, I didn't mean to." Tiburon pressed. "I'm sorry."

Itachi dipped his head, appeased by Tiburon's apology. And because he's a sucker for Tiburon's sad face. "Apology accepted."

"You're on probation though." I told Tibby, taking him from Sasuke. "We're going back to the hotel so we can get you some dry clothes. And you're taking a bath. I don't want my son smelling like river water. That's Suigetsu's job." Jūgo chuckled.

"Oi!" Hidan barked. "Ice Bitch!"

I sighed. "Yes Hidan?"

"Make dinner!" He said firmly.

I glared at him. "I will do what I want when I want, you shut your mouth." I adjusted Tiburon in my grasp before I started in the direction of the hotel.

By the way, the hotel we were staying in was freaking huge and really, really convenient and nice. We were able to get four rooms, all connected to each other in a big block and there was a private little kitchen thing near the rooms that was open to the rooms to use. Needless to say, Hidan talked Kakuzu into getting rooms at this hotel because of the kitchen.

Plus, the owner gave me a huge discount.

He's a big fan of my chicken and noodles.

Anyways, Itachi followed me, Sable, and Tiburon to the giant room we all shared with Kisame, and he sprawled out on the couch thing while I prepared Tiburon's stuff for him. Sable sat beside Itachi's feet, her head cocked to the side as she watched me.

"Okay Tibby, bath's ready. Go ahead." I told him, rumpling his hair. He looked up at me from the shuriken he was cleaning and threw me a smile before jumping to his feet and darting towards the bathroom. "Go keep an eye on him, Sable."

Sable made a snorting noise and she trotted after Tiburon, allowing him to close the door behind her. Once the door closed, I smirked and wandered over towards my weasel who was lying on the couch with his eyes closed. His emotionless expression turned into a small smile when he felt my hands begin exploring his torso.

"I can't get over how sexy you are." I told him, bending over him to kiss his lips softly. "Even after all this time, you still take my breath away."

Itachi opened his eyes and he kissed me back, lifting one of his hands to keep my face close to his. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

I smirked a bit. "Remember when we first met?"

"Which time? Do you mean the _very_ first time when I was a kitten or the first time when we were both humans?" He asked. "Both circumstances were rather… different."

I snorted at the memory. "I forgot about the kitten part for a second. I'm sure that was rather traumatizing for you, since you had to deal with me being all creepy."

"_Had_ to deal with?" Itachi repeated with a smirk. "I still do."

"You're damn right you do." I grinned, rubbing my nose against his. "But, screw the kitties. I have you now and Tibby. I wouldn't change it for the world."

Itachi's gaze softened and in an instant, he had me pinned to the couch beneath him, his lips pressed to mine. "Nor would I, Alice. I love you and Tiburon more than words can explain."

I just responded my wrapping my arms around his neck to anchor him to me.

We stayed like that for a time, neither breaking the silence. We just held each other and exchanged kisses at random intervals. However, even after all these years, our alone time never goes uninterrupted.

"Ew!"

Itachi and I broke apart to see Tiburon standing in the bathroom doorway with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his person. Part of said towel was positioned so it was like a hood on his head.

"No kissing!" He said with a grossed out face, wiping some water from his face with his towel-covered hand. "That's gross!"

Itachi and I glanced at each other before we both smirked and Itachi darted towards Tiburon at the same time I did. Tiburon screamed and ran back into the bathroom, trying to get away from us. He forgot to close the door though so we caught him.

I scooped him up and started kissing his face. "Awe, but you always love it when I give you kisses Tibby!"

Tiburon giggled and squirmed in my arms, trying to get away from me. Satisfied that I punished him for disrupting me and Itachi, I handed him over to Itachi so Itachi could torture him.

Itachi, who wasn't overly affectionate and crazy like me, simply kissed Tiburon's forehead a few times before setting him down on the floor. Tiburon hit Itachi with his towel before darting out of the room when Itachi turned, acting like he was going to attack.

Itachi chuckled when Tiburon disappeared with a yelp and he shook his head before looking at me. "He is just like you."

"Yeah, but he looks just like you." I pointed out. "Which is both a good thing and a bad thing."

"Why?" He wondered, kissing my cheek.

I smiled. "It's a good thing because he's freaking adorable and I'd rather him look like you than me. However, it's a bad thing because I'm going to have to kill all the girls who try to date him."

Itachi raised his eyebrow. "Even Sanaa?"

"No. Sanaa can date him all she wants. I'm going to have to kill the boys that try to date her because she is one gorgeous little girl." I explained.

Itachi sighed. "How did I know you were going to say something like that?"

I patted his cheek. "Because you know me. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I feel like making dinner. If I don't, we can go out somewhere." I looked back at him as I reached the door. "And if you're good, I'll let you get some dango."

Itachi's eyes lit up slightly. "Define good."

I just laughed lightly and left the bathroom, heading towards the door to the hallway. I slipped my shoes on before leaving the room and heading towards the kitchen. Once I got there, I inspected their supplies before checking out their utensils. Satisfied with what I found, I decided I was indeed going to make dinner.

Whipping out my cell phone, I called Kathryn.

"_Hi Momma!_" Kathryn said, answering after three rings. "_What's up?_"

"What do you guys want to eat? The kitchen here has a shit load of stuff I can make. Ask the others too if you're around them." I asked.

I heard Kathryn shrug. "_I don't care what you make. Hey guys, what do you want Alice to make for dinner? She said the kitchen at the hotel is stocked._"

"_Nothing, because she sucks at cooking_." I distinctly heard Sasori say.

"Tell Sasori I'm going to burn his puppet scrolls." I added. "I heard paper helps warm up ovens faster."

Kathryn giggled. "_He heard you. He's glaring at the phone._ _By the way, everyone just said make whatever you want._"

"I'll make a variety then. Invite Suigetsu, Sasuke, and Jūgo too. Karin can die because she's a bitch." I decided. "Start heading here. It won't take me long to make and some of you kids need to clean up before you're eating. I will not be having dirty people in my kitchen."

"_Kay!_" Kathryn chirped. "_Thank you in advance Momma._"

"Yeah." I said dismissively. "See you." I heard her reply before I closed my phone and set to work getting out stuff I would need so I could decide what to make.

As I began mentally deciding what sounded good to eat, the Akatsuki began arriving. Itachi and Tiburon were first with Sable. However, soon after, Kisame arrived and Zetsu morphed through the floor seconds after him. Kakuzu strode in boredly with Pein, Konan, and Sasuke. Suigetsu, Jūgo, and Hidan followed them and seconds after, Sanaa skipped in with Sasori and her parents.

I nodded, pleased that I was obeyed before something else caught my attention.

Kakashi, Naruto, Choji, Ino, and Lee had joined us.

"Uh…" I began, grabbing some shit out of the fridge. I just grabbed some cheese when Shikamaru, Tenten, Sakura, Sai, and Yamato slipped into the room.

They took seats at the table without saying a word.

"Kathryn." I stated.

She smiled at me. "I had nothing to do with it."

My eye twitched. "What is going on here?"

Kakashi beamed at me as Gai waltzed into the room with Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, and fucking Iruka. "We heard you were making dinner."

"It's been a while since you cooked for us." Sakura grinned.

My eyes narrowed. "I hate all of you."

"I hope it's not too much trouble, Alice." Tsunade said as she walked into the room with Killer Bee, Ōnoki, Gaara, his siblings, and the Raikage.

I glared.

Sasori was smirking his head off at me.

I would have thought he did this. But then, that would require him to socialize and Sasori doesn't do that.

That bastard…

He probably put Sanaa up to it.

She's just like her mother so it would be easy to set her up to doing it. She's overly friendly, easily manipulated by people she loves, and she obeys her Danna without question.

She's Sasori's perfect little spy.

I looked over the people in the room to see the majority of the non-Akatsuki/Taka ninjas smiling at me while the Akatsuki and Taka socialized, knowing they would be fed without question. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the food. "Fine."

"Yes!" Naruto cheered while everyone else thanked me. "Make Ramen!"

I glared at him.

"Please?" He whispered hopefully.

"Of course Naruto." I smiled.

Hidan did not approve. "Oi! Bitch, how come you make what he fucking asks you?"

"He said please." I pointed out. "You demand. And don't cuss in front of my son or I'll rip your head off."

Said child was talking animatedly with Gaara who sat between Naruto and Killer Bee. Tiburon sat between Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke was silent, watching Kakashi and Yamato discuss some of the more troublesome ANBU missions they were on in the past.

"That's fucking bullshit." Hidan growled. He yelped and dodged the knife I threw at him. "What the hell?"

"I just told you not to cuss in front of Tiburon." I growled.

Hidan pointed. "He's not even fucking listening!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Itachi, deal with him."

Itachi, who had been walking back to his seat from pulling the knife out of the wall, smacked the back of Hidan's head harshly, forcing it into the table. "Idiot."

Just about everyone snorted with amusement at Hidan's misfortune.

I'm pretty sure Shikamaru would have high-fived me if he wasn't a lazy bastard.

"Thanks babe." I smiled when he approached me to give me the knife back. "You get dango later."

"Hn." Itachi grunted, kissing me before sitting between Pein and Kisame.

I was left without a seat like always. Though, Sasuke or Kisame would probably end up holding Tiburon so I could sit down because they're good people.

"If anyone makes a mess in this kitchen and leaves it for me to clean up, I swear I will sick an angry Itachi on you." I snapped. "I will also poison your next meal. Poisons are courtesy of one Sasori no Akasuna."

Sasori chuckled. "What if I make the mess?"

"Then I will burn one puppet for each inch of mess you make." I said boredly, busying myself with cooking. "And yes, my threats do include you Kage."

Tsunade smiled, amused by my threats while the Raikage and Ōnoki smirked. Gaara just allowed a small lift to his lips, too busy listening to Tiburon explain when he stole Deidara's fully charged clay and detonated Hidan's room with it.

Yeah, my son's a bit of an arsonist.

He gets it from his daddy.

* * *

><p><em>I'm actually rather partial to the next chapter.<em>

_I don't know why, but I like it. This one sucks. I don't like it._

_But anyways..._

**_Fun Fact: _**_I can lick my elbow. Is that weird?_

Answer: _I don't remember what the question was... Oh yes. I graduate this year:) 2012._

**QotC: **_Which Uchiha is the best? Pick any and back up your answer. And yes. I mean any. Tobi doesn't count because he's a bitch.  
><em>

_**WotC:**Hmm... Amar: To love in Spanish. Example: Te amo. Or: I love you. :D_

_I do love you guys. You make me super happy. And your reviews make me smile. As do your messages and emails. The support does wonders for me. Seriously._

_I'm going to try this twice a week updating again thing for you guys. I couldn't care less if I updated once a month. But I live to please you lovely people._

_No, I'm going to go learn sign-language so I can talk to people. I've been using notepads and shit at home and school so I can save my voice for work._

_Why?_

_Because I get paid there._

_So, see you XD  
><em>


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello chapter seven._

_It might seem weird, but I actually kind of like this chapter._

_It's not my best, but it gets the job done._

_So yeah. Enjoy and know that I do not own Naruto._

* * *

><p>"Hey Daddy?" Tiburon began, chewing on the stick that had previously been covered with dango.<p>

Itachi looked up, seeing as Tiburon was riding on his shoulders, and raised his eyebrow at our son. "Yes?"

"Kakashi said you used to live here in Konoha. Is that true?" Tiburon wondered, looking down at his dad curiously.

I glanced at Itachi when his hand twitched in my grasp. I squeezed his hand and he looked at me before nodding. "I did."

"Really?" Tiburon pressed. "Where? How come you don't live there no more?"

Itachi sighed silently. "I lived in what was once the Uchiha compound. It was a district of Konoha sectioned off for the Uchiha clan. I don't live there any longer because I joined the Akatsuki and I married your mother."

"Uchiha compound. Do you mean home?" He asked.

"The base is the Uchiha Stronghold, Tiburon. That was once owned by our clan but it was abandoned long ago; however I did not live there. The compound was here in Konoha." Itachi explained.

"How come it's not there no more?" Tibby questioned.

"It is still here, Tiburon. However, no one lives there. Sasuke, you, you mother, and I are that is left of the clan." Itachi said quietly.

I glanced up at Tiburon. "A very bad man ordered the clan to be killed. Your dad and Sasuke were the only ones to survive. It's a very sad topic for them, Tibby. When you get older, we'll tell you more okay?"

Tiburon cocked his head to the side before Itachi's tense aura registered in his mind and he nodded. He hugged Itachi's head and kissed his hair. "It's okay daddy. You have me and mommy and Sasuke. We love you."

Itachi's gaze softened and he pulled me closer to him. "I love the three of you as well."

"Oh! I forgot about Sable!" Tiburon added, looking at the wolf trotting around us. "Sorry Sable!"

Sable looked around at being addressed and her tail wagged when she saw Tiburon looking at her. However, the scents of Konoha regained her attention and she returned to investigating the area.

"I heard Kakashi and Yamato talking about the Shinobi Academy." Tiburon began. "What's that?"

My attention drifted away from the conversation while Itachi explained to Tiburon what the academy was and I took in the streets of Konoha that surrounded us.

Itachi, Tiburon, and I had left after having a massive feast with pretty much everyone in Konoha that was courtesy of myself. It was getting dark when we left to go get dango for Itachi and Tiburon and we left, telling only Pein, Konan, Kisame, and Kakuzu where we were going as they were the only ones who asked when they noticed we were leaving.

It was night time now and it was almost Tiburon's bedtime. We were walking towards the hotel through the surprisingly busy streets of Konoha that made up our path. I recognized a few of the people both from my exceedingly thorough stalking of the Naruto world as well from the numerous times I've been to Konoha over the years.

It was nice here. It felt as close to home as one could find.

There was a nice, peaceful breeze in the air and the stars and moon shined brightly. There was a gentle hum of voices filling the streets, but it wasn't overbearing. Various scents ranging from foods to perfumes were apparent, but it wasn't enough to block out the unmistakable scent of trees and water that came from the expansive forest and the river not too far away.

I would even dare to call it peaceful.

However, all of these good things rolled up into one could not allow me to ignore the nagging feeling that I was being watched. I glanced at Itachi, noticing that neither he nor Tiburon were the ones staring at me seeing as they were both engrossed in each other.

That meant it was someone else.

Curious, I looked around me, noticing that everyone was going about their business, not paying me any attention besides a brief glance when they felt my gaze or if they recognized me. Polite smiles were exchanged as I searched for the person staring at me.

Then, I found them.

Standing off in the shadows was Sonido. His gray eyes were locked on me and even when I met his gaze, he didn't look away.

My eyes narrowed in disgust and annoyance.

Mostly though, I was pissed.

"Itachi."

Itachi glanced around at me and raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"He's fucking staring at me again." I snarled, stopping in my tracks instantly. I glanced at Itachi, anger evident in my expression. "I've fucking had it."

Itachi looked around us and frowned. "I don't see anyone there, Alice. I do not sense his chakra either."

I looked around to find the Otokage, only to see that he had disappeared.

"Though I'm livid that he's such a slippery bastard, I'm glad he's gone." I hissed, clenching my hand that wasn't holding Itachi's. "Come on."

Itachi's eyes narrowed a bit as he cocked his head to the side but he didn't comment, following me towards the hotel that was now standing before us in plain sight.

* * *

><p>"Itachi, he was <em>there.<em> I am not making it up." I snapped, narrowing my eyes at the Uchiha sitting on the couch before me. "Why would I ever lie to you about something like that? When have I _ever_ lied to you?"

"I am not questioning your truthfulness, Alice. I never have, nor will I. I am questioning what you saw." Itachi said calmly, looking up at me. "You have a prejudice towards this man because of preconceived opinions and discriminatory thoughts. You could have thought you saw him and merely saw something else. Perhaps it was someone who looked similar to him. I didn't sense his chakra when I looked, Alice. Even if he was suppressing it, I had my Sharingan activated and I would have been able to detect his presence. I didn't."

"He was there Itachi." I snarled. "I had a small stare down with him. He had been watching us for a good ten minutes. How in the hell would I see someone without them actually being there? Do you really think I'm that fucking crazy? Being bipolar isn't a good enough excuse? Now I need to have hallucinations?"

Itachi sighed and closed his eyes. "That isn't what I meant Alice and you know it."

I crossed my arms. "I don't know it. I've been accused of such fucking things before."

"Alice you obviously hate this man, but you have no reason to." Itachi said, looking at me with narrowed eyes. Sable lifted her head off of the pillow on the floor and she growled at him because of his tone. Itachi gave her a look, causing her to resume her position.

"You're right. I do hate him. But I have a perfectly good reason. He fucking stares at me like I'm an animal at a zoo or something. He gives me the creeps and he follows us around. Not only that, but he was a subordinate of Orochimaru." I growled. "The man is screwed up Itachi."

"You insulted him and challenged him at a meeting with Kage." Itachi stated. "You are married to a member of a former criminal organization and you hang around with various other criminals. You're a chakraless woman from a different world. He has reason to wonder, Alice."

My eyes narrowed threateningly. Sable started growling again, sensing my anger. "Why are you sticking up for him and not your wife?"

"I am not sticking up for anyone. I am trying to calm you down. But unless I encourage you to go hunt him down so you can break his neck, you will get angry and defensive." Itachi retorted, narrowing his eyes in response. "Whenever something angers you, you instantly resort to violence and insults. There is no soothing you when you get like this. I am not telling you this as an insult, merely the means behind my words."

"I am _bipolar_." I reminded him. "Half the time I can't help it, Itachi." I pointed at him. "But that is beside the point. I am your _wife_. Even if I was convinced the sky was fucking yellow, as my husband, you should back me. This guy freaks me out, Itachi and you're pushing aside my gut feeling and concern like I'm just being hormonal." I narrowed my eyes. "_That_ pisses me off more than Sonido does in himself."

"You had something against this man from the second you realized what he was." He shook his head, finally getting annoyed by this argument. "And you will take anything I say right now and see it as me attempting to brush off your misplaced concern. I am just trying to soothe you, Alice even though I know it is practically impossible." Sable's head lifted off the pillow again and she revealed her teeth as Itachi's Sharingan began spinning in irritation.

I opened my mouth to retort but was cut off by the sound of a door opening. Looking around, I saw Tiburon come out of his bedroom, rubbing his eyes and carrying Jaws, his stuffed shark. "Mommy, daddy, what's wrong?"

I glared at Itachi, turning to walk towards Tiburon. "Not a word, Uchiha."

He didn't respond, closing his eyes and sighing.

I picked up Tiburon when I reached him and he rested his head on my shoulder. "Nothing. Your dad and I are just talking."

"You don't sound happy." He yawned. "You and daddy are always happy when you talk. You're not now. Sable's growling too." At hearing her name, Sable's growling stopped and her tail thumped happily.

I kissed his head, fully aware that Itachi was watching me. "It'll be okay, baby. I'm sorry we woke you up."

"You didn't wake me up, mommy." Tibby muttered. "I had another scary dream."

My anger disappeared instantly. Guilt had taken its place.

"I'm sorry sweetie." I whispered, kissing his cheek. "I'll come stay with you to keep the bad dreams away."

Tiburon shook his head. "You don't have to. I'll go stay with Kisa. You and daddy are supposed to sleep together. If you stay with me, he'll be sad."

"I really don't think he'd mind." I said loud enough for Itachi to hear me. "But if you want to sleep with Kisame you can. Where's Kisame, Itachi?"

"Outside." Itachi said calmly.

I walked to the door that led to the outside, Tiburon in my arms and I peeked my head outside. Kisame was sitting on the porch, watching the fish in the small pond that separated our little yard from Zetsu, Hidan, and Kakuzu's shared yard. He glanced around when the door opened.

"You and Itachi still talking?" He asked.

"No." I said quietly, walking outside to sit beside him on the deck. Sable had followed me because she trotted out of the room behind me and went to the pond to inspect the fish. "We're done. I'm sorry. Did we keep you out here?"

Kisame shook his head. "No, I'm not really tired and it's a nice night. I've been out here for a while. I just wasn't going to come in until it started getting loud." His eyes flicked to Tiburon. "I guess he did my job for me."

I smiled. "He wants to stay with you tonight. Is that alright?"

Kisame kissed the side of my head before taking Tiburon from me. "It's always alright." He smiled, seeing Tiburon was about to fall asleep in his arms.

"He had a bad dream." I whispered, looking at Tiburon sadly.

"Did he now?" Kisame said quietly, glancing at me. "About?"

I looked down. "He doesn't remember. He just woke up feeling really scared."

Kisame stiffened and glanced at me. "Are …"

"Night terrors are genetic." I nodded, hugging my stomach. "It's my fault he has them."

Kisame sighed and he curled an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer so he could hug me. "It isn't your fault, Alice. It's not like you intended for him to inherit them."

"Other than my blue eye and winning personality, it seems it's the only thing he's gotten from me." I sighed.

"Besides life, a loving mother, a happy home and family, a good father, and a lifetime of amazing food." Kisame said with a frown. "Alice, stop being emo or I'll have to bite you."

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. "Fine."

We stayed out there on the porch for a time, enjoying each other's presence and the cool breeze. I watched Sable study the fish in the pond while Kisame switched between staring at the stars and watching Tiburon's expression while he dreamed.

"Well, I'm gonna get him inside so he can sleep properly. It is a little cold out here." Kisame said after a time of us just sitting outside. "And make up with Itachi. He might be wrong to not side with you, but he doesn't want you to get hurt and let's both face it, you have a tendency to get into difficult situations. And that winning personality of yours is the cause most of the time, even though it is my favorite aspect about you." Kisame kissed the side of my head. "If not because you want to, make up with him for me and Tibby. I hate seeing you sad and I know Tiburon does."

I glanced at him. "Yeah."

"Thank you." Kisame smiled. "Night kid."

"Good night Kisame." I sighed. I stayed outside for a bit longer before standing up.

Sable looked around from the pond when she noticed I stood and she hopped onto the deck beside me. I pet her for a minute before patting my hip and walking towards the door. She followed me, pleased with the attention.

I glanced around when I entered the sitting room and noticed Itachi wasn't there. Not concerned enough to look for him, I shut the door, locked it, and then trailed to my bedroom. The bathroom door there was closed so I nodded, knowing Itachi was there.

I climbed into bed without really bothering to do much else beside turn off the light. Sable hopped on the couch in the corner and curled up there, having enough room to take up as much space as she wanted.

Not that she didn't anyways.

I rolled on my side, my back to the bathroom with the covers up to my chin. Lying there, I scorned myself for bestowing such an awful disability on my son. Night terrors were scarring. I still have them and they still scare me to pieces.

Imagining Tiburon experiencing that fear was tearing my heart out of my chest. He was so young and there was no telling how much damage they could do to him when he was so impressionable. I had them at that age too and it's probably the cause of nearly half of my issues.

I covered my face with the covers and shrunk myself into a ball of guilt. I didn't notice Itachi emerge from the bathroom, nor did I detect his presence on the bed until he wrapped his arm around me from behind and pulled me closer.

"Alice." He whispered.

"What?" I replied in a tight voice.

Itachi noticed. "What's wrong? Are you still angry with me?"

I shook my head.

"Then what is the matter?" He asked, pulling the covers away from my face so he could look at me.

In the darkness of the room, nothing was visible beside two glowing red orbs I knew belonged to my weasel. I knew he could see me perfectly, but all I could see were his bright Sharingan and Sable's eyes when she looked at us.

"I don't want to talk about it." I whispered, turning away from him.

His eyes narrowed with concern. "Alice."

"What Itachi?" I sighed, looking at him.

"Tell me what's wrong, Alice." Itachi urged. "Please? What is causing you to have such a pained expression? I hate seeing you so upset."

I turned to my back and I stroked his hair, noticing that he let it down. "Tiburon has inherited my night terrors."

Itachi's eyes widened in the darkness and the guilt returned.

"I was not aware they were genetic." Itachi whispered.

I nodded. "I knew. I just prayed every night from the second you fell asleep until the moment I did that he wouldn't have them. Obviously it wasn't enough."

Itachi kissed my forehead and pulled me ever closer. He forced my body onto my side so I was facing him and he hugged me tightly, wrapping his arms around me securely. "It isn't your fault, Alice."

"That's what Kisame said. I don't believe him either." I muttered.

Itachi pressed his forehead against mine. "Alice, it is _not_ your fault. You did not ask for this. There was probably greater than a fifty percent chance that he would have them. You are not to blame."

I sighed. "Who else's fault could it be?"

"No ones." He said firmly. "Not everything needs a scapegoat."

"It doesn't change the fact that he has them." I stated. "I didn't tell you so you could try to make me feel better. I told you so you would know that our son is probably going to be afraid to go to sleep before his fifth birthday."

Itachi kissed me. "Then we will do our best to help him. You know what it feels like so you will be more adept at soothing him. You are a good person and a wonderful mother, Alice. I know for a fact that you will help our son handle this burden." He nuzzled my cheek. "And when you can't, I will."

"You're pretty good at it." I said quietly. I sighed and kissed Itachi's chin. "Let's go to sleep. We can talk about this later. I don't really want to go to sleep with this on my mind."

Itachi nodded. "As you wish."

We settled down and held each other for a bit, me stroking his hair and he massaging the part of my back that his hand was touching. We stayed like that for a time before sleep started to take us.

"By the way, I'm still pissed off at you from earlier." I told him.

He sighed and chose wisely not to respond in favor of going to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>Uh oh, lover's squabble.<em>

**_Fun Fact: _**_Over 1,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows._

Answer: _Itachi. No competition. He's amazing and sexy. My second favorite would have to be between Sasuke and Madara, followed closely by Shisui._

**QotC: **_Favorite Hokage?_

**WotC:**_Mierda - Shit. In Spanish._

_I'm slowly hammering out a system, lovelies. My manager who makes up the schedule at work is just now starting to get into the groove of things and not schedule me randomly. So, posting twice a week seems to be potentially possible._

_To answer some questions: I'm probably going to Cornell for college, or Ohio State University. I haven't decided for certain yet. I work at a local fast-food joint called Skyline Chili. It sucks._

_Hmm... Things to talk about... Oh, I got something. There is this five part documentary type thing on youtube called Children Full of Life._ _It is probably, the best thing I've watched in a really long time. I want one of those kids. They're freaking adorable, not to mention, they're better people than 99% of everyone else in the world. But yeah, that's just my opinion. So if you have time and you want to watch something cute, go watch that._

_Toodles~  
><em>


	8. Chapter 8

_:D_

_I do not own Naruto, but I do own Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Generation~_

_I am so pumped._

_Enjoy lovelies~_

* * *

><p>"What were you and Itachi arguing about last night?" Sasori wondered, keeping me company while I made breakfast.<p>

"Nothing." I said with a shrug.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Don't play that card. I know for a fact that you and Itachi don't argue just to argue. There was a reason. What was it?"

"Didn't your grandma ever teach you to mind your own business?" I asked, glancing at him over my shoulder.

"No, she taught me how to spy on people so I didn't need to ask them." Sasori told me.

"So don't ask." I told him.

He frowned. "It's easier."

"Well I'm not telling you." I stated. "And you know Itachi won't either. So drop it."

"I will not drop it if it's the reason you look like you didn't sleep, Alice." Sasori snapped.

I paused in turning an egg over to look at him. "Is that concern I hear?"

"If it will make you tell me, then yes." He said firmly.

"Will it make you feel better if I told you the reason I didn't sleep had nothing to do with Itachi, nor what we were arguing about?" I asked.

He nodded. "Elaborate."

"Tiburon inherited my night terrors." I told him, looking away from him. "I couldn't sleep because he had one and I felt guilty." My voice broke slightly as I finished my statement. Pain hit me in the chest as did an overwhelming concern for my son. Staggered by the pain, I set the spatula in my hand on the counter to brace myself against it to keep from wobbling.

I heard a chair grind on the floor and a second later, Sasori appeared inches from me. I looked at him, confused by his sudden closeness, before blinking in surprise when he gave me an uncharacteristically gentle hug. He was taller than me now, having made himself longer legs when he had to repair his body after the war with Tobi. And because of that, he could now hug me properly.

"It isn't your fault." He said firmly.

I sighed. "If one more person tells me that, I'll kill them. I get it. I'm concerned about him. I'm not wallowing in my self-loathing right now. I feel guilty because it's my own deficiencies that are eventually going to be the cause of my son having a severe mental breakdown and fear sleep."

Sasori released me to stare at me and he smacked the side of my head. "Stop it."

"Don't tell me to stop worrying about my child Sasori. You would do the same thing if Sanaa had them." I snapped.

"Hey, calm down you two." Kakuzu soothed, walking into the room. "What's going on? You two actually look angry at each other." He sat at the table. "Well, actually Alice looks like she hasn't slept in a few days but that's not the issue here."

I sighed. "Nothing Kakuzu. Forget it. Sasori gave me a hug. Mull that over for a bit."

Kakuzu smirked. "I never knew you had it in you, Sasori."

"Shut up. The only thing you would ever hug is your money." Sasori growled, returning to the table.

Kakuzu nodded. "It's the only thing that's never led me astray. Besides to get more money."

I smiled, preparing a plate for the miser. "I love you Kakuzu."

He chuckled good-naturedly and nodded. If there was one thing about Kakuzu that always made me smile, it was his ability to never change. He was almost a hundred and his love for money still defined him. "So, what were you and Itachi bickering about last night?" Kakuzu wondered, accepting the food I offered him.

I paused in walking to the fridge to get him a drink to glare. "What is it with you men and being so nosey?"

He shrugged, unconcerned. "Don't tell me if you don't want to. I was only curious. Is it why you look so tired?"

"No." I sighed, finally reaching the fridge. "I don't really want to talk about why I didn't sleep." I grabbed him something to drink and gave it to him before going to the stove and beginning to prepare more food.

Sasori and Kakuzu exchanged looks and I heard muttering so I knew Sasori was updating Kakuzu with what he knew.

Next into the kitchen was Konan who was followed closely by Pein. I made them plates of food and ignored the concerned glances from both of them. Kisame came in next, carrying a sleepy looking Tiburon and leading a hungry Sable.

My chest tightened at the sight of my son and I occupied myself with feeding Sable. Sasori and Kakuzu both looked at me, searching for my reaction with concern.

"Morning." Kisame greeted, sitting beside Kakuzu. Three out of the four people at the table grunted at him.

"Good morning." Konan smiled. "Hello Tiburon."

Tiburon lifted his head off of Kisame's chest to smile. "Hi Konan."

"You look sleepy." She pointed out. "Did Kisame wake you up too early?"

Tiburon shook his head. "No. I had a bad dream. But Kisa made it better."

"Well that's good." Konan beamed, looking at me as I reached the table. Her smile faded almost instantly. "Alice, are you okay?"

I nodded and set two plates before Kisame before getting two drinks.

Konan's eyes narrowed, knowing I was hiding something. When she looked around for answers, Sasori just shook his head.

"Sori-Danna." Tibby yawned. "How come you're out here? I thought you stayed with Deidei, Kitty, and Sanaa all morning."

Sasori shrugged. "Your mom needed company while she made food."

"Oh." Tiburon nodded. His gaze flicked to the doorway and he smiled tiredly. "Hi Sanaa."

Sanaa pushed her messy hair out of her face, smiling at Tiburon. "Hi Tibby." She walked to Sasori and climbed in his lap without a word, resting her head on his chest. "Morning Sori-Danna, Kuzu-oji, Kisa, Konan, and Pein-sama." She greeted, going around the table. "Hi Icy."

"Hi Sanaa." I smiled, giving her a plate. Sasori gave me a look which I returned with narrowed eyes.

"Don't say anything, puppet." I growled in Spanish.

He twitched his head slightly, telling me he wouldn't. I dipped my head slightly in approval before going back to the stove just as Itachi walked in.

"Hi daddy." Tiburon greeted.

Itachi walked over to Tiburon and kissed his forehead. "Good morning Tiburon." He looked over the others. "Good morning."

"Itachi." Kakuzu and Sasori said in unison. Kisame and Konan smiled at him and Pein, who I discovered was now basically dysfunctional until he had his coffee in the morning, dipped his head in quiet greeting.

I handed Itachi his food when he sat beside Kisame and gave him a drink. He thanked me quietly and kissed my cheek. I patted his head absently, distracted with getting Pein his coffee which announced its readiness with a loud beep. He thanked me merely by making eye contact and wiggling his nose a bit. I winked in return.

"Hi Zetsu!" Sanaa beamed.

"**Hey brat. **Good morning Sanaa. Hi guys. **Sup?**" Zetsu yawned, walking into the room like a normal person for the first time in months. "Deidara and Kathryn are up. **Wonderful.** Don't be mean. **Shut up, it's too early for your crap.** Go back to sleep."

I rolled my eyes and handed him a plate. "Good morning Zetsu."

"**You look as tired as I feel, Alice. **Are you alright?" Zetsu asked.

"I'm fine." I sighed. "Eat your food."

Zetsu obliged, more than willing to eat. "Sasuke's here too."

I threw Itachi a look to which he sighed at.

Sasori noticed.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Tibby wondered. "You look sad."

I looked at Tiburon and smiled at him. "I'm okay Tibby. I promise."

He frowned at me, proving that he was more perceptive and aware than any child his age should be. He looked like he was going to press the issue, but the arrival of his uncle drew his attention from me. "Kay. Hi Sasuke!"

"Hn." Sasuke greeted. He took a seat next to Itachi when I set a plate down for him and he accepted the coffee I offered him with a quiet "thank you".

Moments later, Kathryn and Deidara walked into the room. Kathryn kissed Sanaa and Sasori's cheeks instantly before cheerfully greeting everyone else. Deidara uned at everyone besides his daughter. He gave me a grin when I gave him his food but otherwise said nothing. Kathryn thanked me with a smile.

Hidan came in at some time and he blatantly ignored the food I gave him when he came in. He grabbed me instantly and pulled me from the kitchen, despite my protests, and dragged me into the hallway and away from the others.

The minute we were alone, he hugged me in a way only he could. It was the familiarity in the gesture and the all-knowing aura he was channeling through it that soothed me more than anything else had. "It's alright, Ice."

I sighed and returned his hug, a little peeved that he could always see right through me and thankful that I could count on him to make me feel better. It's just Hidan I suppose. "How'd you know?"

"I just know." He shrugged, petting me. "And don't fucking worry about your pussy husband. I believe you. That guy sounds fucking sketchy."

"Do you just know about that too, or were you awake?" I asked.

"I heard." He told me with a smirk. "You aren't exactly quiet, bitch."

I huffed. "So I'm told."

"I'm hungry, so if you need to bitch to someone, wait until I fucking eat first." He grinned, letting me go.

I punched him lightly and he snickered, leading me back into the room.

When we returned, Itachi was talking to Tiburon about him needing to go back to the room now that he was done eating so he could brush his teeth and get ready for the day. Tiburon, being the stubborn little thing he is, was trying to get Itachi to go with him.

He loved having alone time with his daddy, even when it was just for a moment.

"Alright." Itachi nodded, getting to his feet. "I'll come."

"Yay!" Tiburon grinned, hopping down from Kisame's lap and darting to the door. He took Itachi's hand when said weasel reached it and he tugged him down the hallway.

Sanaa left a moment later, saying she had to go potty and she needed to get ready. She went alone since both her parents were still eating and her Danna was a boy.

Sasori was to Sanaa as Kisame is to Tiburon.

"Alright. Spill Alice." Kathryn snapped as soon as Sanaa left the room.

I raised my eyebrow at her.

She giggled nervously. "Correction. _Please_ spill, Momma."

"Better." I stated, eyes narrowed. "I will spill nothing because I don't want to clean it up."

"You know what she means, Alice." Sasori sighed.

I leaned against the counter. "Which bit?"

"Why do you look so sad?" Kathryn asked.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Tiburon has inherited my night terrors. He had one last night."

Deidara winced and Kathryn bit her lip.

During our pregnancies and Tiburon and Sanaa's younger years, I had confessed my concerns about the night terrors to Kathryn numerous times. She, being the amazing friend and person she is, shared my concerns. She probably knew my pain and fear better than anyone besides Itachi. She knew just how much night terrors had affected me.

Pein made to comment but I cut him off.

"If you say one word about it not being my fault, I'll rip your piercings out." I warned.

He closed his mouth.

"Good boy." I stated.

He glared.

I rolled my eyes.

He flared his nostrils

I wiggled my left eyebrow three times and stuck out my lower lip.

He dipped his head, accepting my apology.

I smirked.

He returned it.

"Will you two stop it?" Kisame demanded.

"Sorry." I smiled. "We got carried away."

Konan smiled at her oldest friend and lover before smiling sadly at me. "You don't think it's your fault do you?"

"Because if you do, I will have to kill you." Pein stated, raising his eyebrows challengingly when I gave him a look.

"I'm not self-pitying right now if that's what you're thinking. It is my fault because they are from me, but I am more concerned about him. Night terrors are probably the reason for almost half of my issues and there's only so much time before he fears closing his eyes. That shit haunts you forever." I crossed my arms. "By the way, I blame you guys for the rest of my issues."

"I accept your accusation." Kathryn grinned.

"You're the main cause." I deadpanned.

Pein nodded. "The only thing you can do, Alice, is help him. There is nothing you can do to prevent this from happening as it was bound to happen. But you can help slow it down. However, I want to know what you and Itachi were bickering about last night."

I glared at him. "You murderers and your nosey ways! I swear, you're worse than a bunch of old ladies and teenage girls combined."

"You and Itachi had a fight?" Konan gasped. Her inner girl emerged and her eyes glistened, excited for gossip. The same gleam sparked in Kathryn's eyes.

I introduced my palm to my forehead. "We did not fight."

"I begged to differ." Kisame muttered.

"I'll cook you, shark boy. I've always wanted to try Shark-fin soup." I threatened. "I know where you sleep and I have full access to that room."

Kisame closed his mouth and zipped it before throwing the key away.

"That's what I thought." I growled. "That reminds me. Sasuke, you and I need to talk in a little bit."

Sasuke nodded. "Alright."

"Alice." Konan said, crossing her arms.

I looked at her. "You don't scare me Konan."

"That sketchy fucker from Oto was stalking her last night and the fucking Uchiha bastard thinks she was hallucinating because his shitty chakra signature wasn't there." Hidan explained. "Leave her the hell alone."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he looked at me. I sighed.

"Thank you Hidan." I stated.

Pein raised his eyebrow. "Sonido?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "He's been following me."

Pein sighed. "Alice, I think you might be blowing his actions a bit out of proportion."

I looked at him. "I will poison your next meal."

"Alice." Pein deadpanned. "You are too easily angered. It could have just been a coincidence."

"And he ran away when I told Itachi?" I snapped. "Hardly, Pein."

Sasori sighed. "Well, we do have a bit of a reputation when it comes to how possessive we are over you and Kathryn. Itachi more so than the rest of us."

I frowned. "You guys are determined to find excuses for this guy. He's always fucking staring at me and he follows me around!"

"Alice, this is not something we need to discuss right now." Itachi stated, walking in and throwing a meaningful gesture behind him. "Drop it."

"They brought it up so do not blame me and you shut your mouth because I still want to punch you in it." I growled. I crossed my arms and closed my mouth when Tiburon came in. "I'm going out. And I promise you, if that jerk from Oto shows his creepy face, I'm going to break it."

With that, I patted my leg for Sable to follow me and I walked out of the kitchen.

"What's wrong with mommy?" Tiburon wondered as I left the kitchen.

"Nothing Tiburon. She's just having a mood swing."

"You're about to fucking see one Itachi Uchiha and it's going to be directed at you!" I yelled, marching into the lobby. I glared at those people there who gawked at me. "What the fuck are you looking at?"

They went about their business.

I stormed down the nearly empty streets of Konoha, fuming. Sable trotted beside me, her ears flatter than usual, but that's because she sensed my bad mood and she didn't want anyone near me. However, that was short lived because a few moments later, I was joined by Hidan.

"What?" I demanded, glaring at his sudden appearance.

He gave me a look. "As if I'm about to fucking let you loose in Konoha. You'd kill any unfortunate bitch that looked at you wrong."

"I'm about to kill you." I growled.

He tossed an arm over my shoulder. "Look Ice Bitch, you can either accept that I'm going to be here to calm you the fuck down, or you can bitch about it and deal with it anyways."

"I could cut your legs and arms off and leave you in the street." I pointed out, drawing my sword a bit. "Or I could tell Sable to attack you and still leave you in the street."

"You won't." He smirked.

I stopped and turned to face him. "Do you really want to test that theory right now?"

He chuckled nervously. "No."

"That's what I thought." I deadpanned.

**Third Person!**

"Hey Itachi!"

Itachi's steps slowed to a stop and he pulled Tiburon to a halt in order to search for the person who called his name. Glancing towards the Hokage Monument, he saw Shikamaru and Kiba walking towards him, the latter waving at him to get his attention.

"Hn?" Itachi grunted, pulling Tiburon closer to himself out of habit. The two of them had left the hotel because Tiburon wanted to explore and Itachi was using his son's curiosity as an excuse to look for Alice.

"Hi Shika! Hi Kiba!" Tiburon greeted. "What are you guys doing?"

Kiba grinned at Tiburon. "Hey kid." He looked up at Itachi. "Do you know why Alice is marching around Konoha looking like she wants to kill something?"

Shikamaru nodded. "Hidan was with her. He had to stop her from killing a villager who whistled at her. She looked really angry and she ignored Lee when he greeted her. That in itself is out of character."

"She's in a bad mood." Itachi sighed. "She didn't sleep very well last night either so that's only made her more irritable."

"What set her off?" Kiba wondered, petting Akamaru's flank as said ninkin licked the length of Tiburon's face. Tiburon giggled and hugged Akamaru, praising him.

Itachi glanced at Shikamaru. "She doesn't like Sonido and she thinks he's stalking her."

Shikamaru raised his eyebrow. "He does seem to stare at her a lot. Do you think he's up to something?"

"I think he's curious about her. Nothing more." Itachi shrugged. "She did insult him and challenge him the first time she spoke to him. I would be curious too."

"That makes sense I guess. But, I don't trust anyone from Oto." Shikamaru stated. "I've fought one and they're quite the band of misfits."

"Hey, that's what mommy calls Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Jūgo." Tiburon pointed out.

Itachi stroked Tiburon's hair gently before looking at Shikamaru. "They are not to be underestimated. However, Alice is very easily provoked so Sonido staring at her is seen as a challenge."

"I just hope she doesn't cross paths with him then." Kiba snickered. "For his sake."

Itachi nodded. "Hn."

**First Person!**

"You still pissed?" Hidan asked, prodding my shoulder cautiously with his index finger.

I glared at him. "Yes."

He huffed. "You're not fucking mad at me are you?"

"No." I admitted. "I am mad at pretty much everyone beside you, Sasuke, the kids, and Sable."

Grinning, Hidan rested his head on my shoulder. "Good bitch."

I rolled my eyes but leaned my head against his, enjoying the silence. We were sitting in a park type place on a bench under a tree. It was quiet, peaceful, and there was a gentle breeze adding to the cold the shade supplied. Sable was lying on the ground in front of Hidan and I, chewing on a stick.

I closed my eyes, sighing heavily, and leaning into Hidan as he leaned into me. We sat like that for a time before Sable started growling.

I frowned, opening my eyes and sitting up at the same time Hidan did. "Sable?"

She glanced back at me briefly to show she was listening before her head snapped back around and her growling continued. She rose to her feet and her tail stiffened as her ears went flat. She bared her teeth and positioned herself protectively in front of me and Hidan.

"Sable, what's up?" Hidan prodded, following her gaze. "The hell's that?"

I looked away from Sable and searched for the source of her unease and my eyes narrowed. "I swear I'm going to kill him. He's still fucking following me!"

Hidan glared. "Sketchy fucker."

"I'm going to kill him." I stated, getting to my feet and walking towards Sonido. I whistled. "Sable."

Sable snarled and hurried to walk beside me so she could protect me efficiently. Hidan followed me, either aiming to help me, stop me, or protect me. He had a frown on his face and his hand kept twitching towards his scythe.

I marched right up to Sonido, stopping a safe distance away when Hidan grabbed my shirt. "What the fuck is your problem, you shit? Why do you keep staring at me and why are you following me?"

Sonido stared at me, almost hungrily before his gaze flicked to Hidan and then down to Sable. "I have a proposal for you, Alice Uchiha."

I frowned and stepped closer to him. My habitual intimidation tactic was useless considering Hidan grabbed me and pulled me back to his side protectively. "If you have something to say to me, come out and say it and quit staring at me like I'm a fucking tourist attraction. I am not here for your entertainment. I'll knock that stupid, creepy look off your face you big dumb bitch. And if I catch you following me one more time, I _will_ break your neck."

He disappeared in an instant before appearing inches from me. He grabbed my hand and pulled it closer to him, ignoring my personal space. Apparently he didn't notice Sable and Hidan, nor their obvious protectiveness.

Sable started barking and she snapped at Sonido, forcibly putting herself between us and causing him to release me to keep from getting bit. The only reason she didn't attack him was because I didn't give her the order. Hidan stiffened and he pulled me behind him, his scythe drawn and pointed at the Otokage.

"Sable, down." I soothed. I grabbed Hidan's forearm and squeezed gently. "Relax Hidan. I want to hear this. I'll over look you touching me this one time, but if you do it again you will suffer the consequences and I can't guarantee your survival."

Hidan narrowed his eyes. "You don't need to fucking touch her to talk to her. Keep the hell away, you heathen bastard."

Sable's barking ceased, but she didn't move.

"Speak." I stated.

"Alice Uchiha." Sonido began.

I raised my eyebrow at him.

He took a deep breath and drew himself up with all seriousness and a look of genuine determination in his expression. "I am in love with you. Please marry me."

* * *

><p><em>Haha! Who saw that coming?<em>

_*Raises hand* I did._

**_Fun Fact_**_: On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year. _

Answer: _Minato Namikaze, hands down. From his hair to his personality, Minato just screams awesomeness. I love him to death. I'm pissed off at Kishimoto for killing him off before we _really _got to know __him. He's just epic. My second favorite would have to be Hashirama. Because he's Madara's man-crush. XD_

**QotC: **_Favorite Kage and why?_

**WotC: **_comadreja__ = Weasel in Spanish._

_So I think, from now on, I'll be updating on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Why those days? I have no idea. They're days when I have the most time so yeah._

_Who is pumped for the Hunger Games movie?_

_I fucking am. Me and my English class, (teacher included) are all going to see the midnight showing just because we can lol. I'm off work that day too._

_So excited._

_Talk to you lovely people later._

_I bid thee adieu~  
><em>


	9. Chapter 9

_Lol. Your reviews were amusing._

_Here is the next chapter._

_Enjoy my dears. :D_

_I do not own Naruto._

* * *

><p>I stared at him, shocked.<p>

Hidan was gawking.

"What?" I asked, shaking my head and blinking. "I don't think I heard you correctly."

"I am in love with you, Alice Uchiha. I want you to marry me and become mine." Sonido repeated, looking utterly confident and determined.

I blinked at him for a time, utterly shocked, before looking at Hidan. Hidan glanced at me, with a perfect "WTF" look on his face.

I shook my head and looked at him. "Dude, I'm already married."

He cocked his head to the side, confused. "You are?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah… I have a child too."

"Who?" He asked.

"My husband's name is Itachi Uchiha." I explained. "I thought that was common knowledge."

Everyone knew I was with Itachi… I mean, we about started a fucking war because of it.

This guy must have been hiding under a fucking bolder.

Sonido shook his head. "I was not told. However, it does not matter. I will take you anyways."

"What?" I questioned, taken aback by his strangeness. I waved my hand and shook my head, trying to clear it just in case I was imaging things. "Look, I'm… both flattered and creeped out, but I'm happily married. I don't know you, nor do I trust you enough to marry you. I love my husband and my kid is my life. I'm not just going to give that up to marry some guy who has been watching me and stalking me like some creep."

An amused snort sounded from the Jashinist next to me as he finally grasped what the hell just happened.

Hidan dropped his scythe as he started laughing. He fell over from the force of his laughter and started beating the ground. "Haha! Who in their right fucking mind would want to marry you, bitch?"

"Hidan." I growled. I shook my head and rolled my eyes before looking at Sonido. "Why would you want to marry me anyways? You know nothing about me."

"You are beautiful and strong." He stated. "Your headstrong personality and blatant disregard for those who are more powerful than you attracts me and I find you extremely interesting. But most of all, your dark hair and pale skin reminds me of my late master who was my beacon in this dark world."

I did a double take at that.

I stared at him as Hidan stopped laughing to listen and he looked confused as hell. "What did you just say to me?"

"You are bea-." He began. I cut him off.

"No. I meant the last part." I clarified. "Something about me being pale."

"Your pale skin and dark hair remind me of Lord Orochimaru who was the light of my life." He explained.

I looked at him for a long time before his words registered in my mind. When they did, I snapped. "DID YOU JUST FUCKING COMPARE ME TO _OROCHIMARU_?"

Hidan jumped up and held me back from killing him. "Alice!" He laughed loudly. "Calm the fuck down Ice Bitch! Ha!"

"How dare you compare me to that pedophile? I'll tear your skin off and fucking set you on fire you freaky creep! That man is a disgrace to the entire world and you have the _nerve_ to compare me to him!" I shouted.

Sonido cocked his head to the side, still eternally calm even though I was fighting Hidan to kill him. "It is the greatest honor. I would have no one else but someone who resembles his image be my wife."

"This fucker is serious!" Hidan snorted with laughter as he held me back. "This is fucking priceless!"

"What is going on here?"

I paused in my quest for blood and looked over my shoulder to see Sasori, Itachi, and Kakuzu.

"Alice." Itachi sighed. "Compose yourself."

I pointed at Sonido. "He just fucking compared me to Orochimaru and asked me to marry him!"

They all stared at me for a minute before my words registered.

Itachi face-palmed, Sasori started laughing instantly, and Kakuzu snorted into his mask. Soon, Kakuzu was laughing loudly and Sasori had to lean against a tree for support.

It was like Kakuzu and Hidan spooning all over again.

Except for the fact that I didn't think it was funny at all.

So I was not laughing with Sasori.

Itachi walked over to me and took me from Hidan who used his freedom to laugh freely. Itachi pushed Hidan over with his foot before looking at me seriously. "Alice."

"Don't you dare start lecturing me Itachi. He's been fucking following me. Ask him. Right now." I growled.

Itachi sighed and looked at Sonido. "Have you been following my wife?"

"Yes." He said boredly.

"I fucking told you." I snapped.

Itachi hushed me by putting his finger to my lips. Though I could tell instantly that he was pissed. "Why?"

"I am in love with her and I intend to marry her. I do not care if she is already spoken for. I will love her always and her child will be welcome too." Sonido explained seriously.

Sasori continued laughing and Kakuzu and Hidan were both pointing at me, laughing. Their laughter was only renewed by his statement.

Itachi's eyes narrowed and his Sharingan shifted with his subdued anger. "I am her husband. Alice is the mother of our child and the love of my life. I do not intend on letting her go."

Sonido stiffened, realizing, I guess for the first time, that this was Itachi and he was my husband. "The choice is not yours to make."

"You're right." I nodded. "It's mine. And I have to politely tell you to piss off. I am not marrying you. Ever. In fact, you disgust me and comparing me to someone as low as Orochimaru is the worst thing you probably could have done. If you would have said Kabuto, I probably would have stabbed you."

He made to comment but I cut him off.

"Seriously." I sighed. "I will not marry you. You'll have to keep searching because I already have a husband and I love him more than life itself. Move on." I grabbed Itachi's hand. "Come on Itachi. Sable, come girl." Sable barked and followed me and Itachi as we walked to Sasori and Kakuzu. I kicked Hidan and he followed after us, breaking into bouts of laughter randomly. "Come on guys."

The five of us plus Sable left Sonido and the park behind and I was blatantly trying to ignore the teasing. Sasori was loving this because usually I never gave myself any openings. Now, however, Sonido had created a huge one for Sasori to latch onto. Kakuzu, who was utterly unbiased when it came to me and Sasori teasing each other, had no qualms about helping him tease me.

So, tuning Sasori and Kakuzu out, I looked at Itachi. "Where's Tiburon?"

"He's with Kisame and Sasuke." Itachi explained. "I showed him where the Academy was shortly after you left and then Sasuke volunteered to show him around so I could look for you. Kisame accompanied them because he was curious and he wanted to watch over Tiburon."

I glanced at him. "I told you so."

Itachi sighed. "My apologies Alice. I never expected… that outcome."

"Me neither." I huffed and glared over my shoulder as Sasori snickered. "Sasori! Shut the fuck up!"

Sasori smirked. "Make me, Orochimaru."

"I am so reading you lemons containing butt sex between you and Orochimaru. And by the way, you'll be the bitch." I snapped.

"I would be insulted, but since you're so much like Orochimaru, I can just imagine it's you." He teased. "It's not too far from the truth."

I huffed. "_How_ am I remotely close to that fucking pedophile?"

"You both are obsessed with the Sharingan." Kakuzu pointed out.

I glared at him. "Don't help him or I'll bring up your spooning moment with Hidan."

"If you think it will bother me, go right ahead." Kakuzu shrugged. "I don't give a shit."

"I hate all of you." I stated.

Itachi kissed the side of my head. "You are nothing like him, Alice."

Hidan snickered. "Ten bucks says she starts tanning."

"I'll take that." Kakuzu smirked.

"Pay him Hidan." I stated. "I'm not tanning. I hate the heat far too much."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I was just fucking teasing." He hurried up to catch up with me and he threw an arm over my shoulder. "So, Ice Bitch. Your moodiness reminds me of a creepy fucking snake. Wanna get hitched? Should I call you Snake Bitch instead now?"

"I _will_ kill you Hidan!" I shouted. "Sable! Kill!"

Hidan yelped and took off, a howling and snarling Sable at his heels.

* * *

><p>"I'm so glad we're going home tomorrow." I grunted into Kisame's shoulder. I was lying on top of him since he, Tiburon, and Sable were taking up most of the chairs.<p>

Kisame snickered beneath me, his arms wrapped around the couch's pillow as he lounged on his stomach. "We'll finally be away from your not-so-secret admirer."

I glared at him. "Who told you about that?"

"Sasori." Kisame smirked. "Relax Al. I'm not going to tease you about it."

"Wise choice." I advised. I looked around when I heard a heavy sigh to see Tiburon hugging Jaws with a pout. "What's wrong baby?"

Tiburon looked at me. "I don't wanna go home. I'm gonna miss Sasuke and everyone else."

"I know Tibby, but you'll still be able to see them. We have to go home though. We can't stay here forever." I excused. "It'll be okay. I'll make sure to tell Sasuke to come and visit more often."

He sighed dejectedly, his pout deepening. "Kay."

"Awe, Tibby please don't be sad. It breaks my heart when you make that face." I cooed.

"Sorry mommy." He muttered into his shark.

I glared at Kisame. "How dare you teach him that?"

Kisame snickered. "Look at how cute he is."

"I know!" I pouted. "He's too cute. It isn't natural."

Itachi walked in, raising his eyebrow. "What isn't natural?"

"How cute our son is with that pouty face on." I whined, pointing at him. "Look at that face."

Itachi looked at Tiburon and he smiled gently before walking over to the chair he was lying on. He picked up Tiburon and sat on the seat, setting our upset son on his lap. "What is wrong, Tiburon?"

"I don't wanna go home. I wanna stay here in Konoha forever and be with Sasuke." Tiburon explained.

I pointed at him and buried my face into Kisame's back. "He's so cute!"

Itachi smirked slightly when Tiburon smiled at my antics. "I am sorry Tiburon, but our home is at the stronghold. We cannot stay here in the hotel forever. Kakuzu would kill something. He's already having an aneurism."

"Why can't we find a house then?" Tibby asked.

"Because sweetie." I sighed. "Your dad is a member of the Akatsuki and he has to stay in the base with the other members. Sasuke is a ninja of Konoha. He can't come live with us either."

Tiburon sighed. "Fine."

Itachi kissed the top of Tiburon's head. "It will be alright, Tiburon."

"I'll still miss Sasuke and everyone here in Konoha." Tibby said quietly.

"What about Killer Bee and Gaara? You love spending time with them but you rarely get to see them." I pointed out.

He looked at me. "Sasuke's better."

"Pretty sound logic." Kisame grinned.

"Well, do you want to spend the night with Sasuke tonight?" I wondered. "Since we're leaving tomorrow."

His eyes brightened drastically. "Can I?"

"I'll ask him when he gets here." I smiled. "I'm okay with it. Itachi?"

"Sasuke will keep Tiburon safe. I am alright with it." Itachi nodded, playing with Tiburon's hair absently. It was a dark brown/black and it was shaggy. He would never let anyone cut it, so it had been growing out in straight, thick locks just like mine and Itachi's. He didn't need a hair tie yet, but that was only a matter of time.

"When's he supposed to get here?" Tiburon demanded.

I looked at my cell phone. "Uh, anytime really. He borrowed something of Itachi's the last time we were here and he's coming to give it back."

Tiburon wiggled out of Itachi's arms and darted to the door. "Can I…"

"No." Itachi stated with a shake of his head. "You can wait in here for him. He shouldn't be too much longer. I can feel his chakra."

Tiburon huffed. "But Daddy, I wanted to set a trap for him."

"And risk one of the other guests getting caught in it? I don't think so, Tiburon." Itachi scolded. "That is something you and I are going to have to talk about when we get home. Setting traps to ensnare the others is fine, but if I hear about you setting one up to catch your mother again, you're going to be in trouble."

Tiburon paled a little but nodded quickly. He was intimidated by Itachi and with good reason. He had witnessed Itachi directing his bad mood towards Hidan a few times and ever since, he's always been a little nervous when under the watchful gaze of the Sharingan.

I thought it was sexy, but that's just me.

"It's alright Itachi." I soothed. "He didn't catch me and trust me when I tell you he got an earful from me when I found him later."

Yeah, I had been walking to the kitchen and I tripped over Sable. At the same time, she tripped over a well hidden and placed trip wire that would have ended up putting me in the medical room for a few days. Thankfully, because I'm a klutz, I ironically avoided serious injury and Sable was fine.

However, that trap was meant for me and when I found Tiburon hiding in a closet about an hour later, he avoided me like the plague for the next three days because I unleashed a mother-tantrum/bipolar mood swing on him.

Itachi had been out on a mission with Kisame, so he didn't hear about it until he got back. If he had been home… Tiburon might have lost his ability to sit down for a few days.

"Even so, Alice, it's the principle behind it." Itachi stated. "You're his mother. If anything, he is supposed to love you and protect you, not try and hurt you."

I gave Itachi a look. "He's four, Itachi."

"I'm almost five!" Tiburon corrected.

Technically, he still had a few months, but when you're little you count those months as if they were your last.

"My apologies baby." I smiled, looking at him.

Itachi sniffed stubbornly and looked away from me. "I used to follow my mother around so I could protect her. She was a well feared Jōnin and I still made it my duty to look out for her."

I smiled at my husband. "Well, you're an adorable sweetheart. You also witnessed things that you never should have. And, Konoha was at war at that time. We're not. Tiburon has not and never will suffer the things you did. Not only will I not let him, I know for a fact you won't either."

"Hn." Itachi grunted, silently agreeing with me.

Kisame smirked. "Listen to you two and your parental tendencies."

"Oh be quiet you big shark." I smirked, kissing the top of Kisame's head. He snickered at me.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side. "So, does this mean you and daddy aren't mad at each other anymore mommy?"

I looked at him and sighed. "No, we're not mad at each other." I paused as a knock sounded on the door. "Your uncle is here."

"Sasuke!" Tiburon cheered. He hurried to the door and opened it quickly. He latched onto his surprised uncle instantly. "Hi Sasuke!"

Sasuke's gaze softened. "Hello, Tiburon." He stroked Tibby's hair and picked him up so he could hug him properly. "Aniki, this is yours."

Itachi's hand shot up to catch the scroll Sasuke tossed him and he dipped his head. "Thank you, Otouto."

"Alice." Sasuke began. "I have a question."

"Shoot." I grunted, playing with Kisame's hair.

Sasuke took a seat beside Sable who had sat up when he came in. "Do you mind if I steal Tiburon tonight. Since you guys are leaving tomorrow."

I smiled and shook my head. "Absolutely not. You're welcome to take him. I was actually going to ask you if he could stay with you. He's sad about going home because he wants to stay with you forever."

Sasuke smiled a bit and he buried his nose into Tibby's hair. "Hn."

* * *

><p>Later on that evening…<p>

"Damn it Kathryn!" I barked.

Kathryn giggled and ran behind Deidara, flexing her hands at me. "Second base!"

I rubbed my boob from where she grabbed it and pointed at her. "I'll rip yours off."

"It's not my fault yours are huge." Kathryn grinned. "You're just pissy because your hands are small."

I huffed. "They are not small. They are perfect for my size. Yours are just freakishly long, like the rest of your body. You do not need to grab my boob to compensate for your smaller ones."

"You're mean." She glared.

"And you lack an ass." I added. "Now, leave me alone."

Deidara rubbed his forehead with a sigh. "This is an awkward conversation, un."

"Shut up Deidara." I sighed.

Kathryn glared at me. "Hey! Don't talk to him like that."

"I do what I want, bitch." I snapped.

She stuck her tongue out at me before draping herself over Deidara's shoulder so she could feel him up and molest his body over his shirt. "You're just jealous because Deidara is sexier than Itachi and his muscles are perfect."

Deidara grinned like the cocky little dork he is. He kissed her. "You're beautiful, yeah."

Kathryn squealed.

I stared at her. "Do you _really_ want to have this debate with me?"

Itachi sighed.

Currently, the four of us were in my room while Tiburon trained with Kisame and Sanaa trained with Sasori. Sasuke was watching Tibby and keeping an eye on Sable for me, Hidan and Kakuzu were off doing something, Pein and Konan were doing important things, and Zetsu was helping Kakuzu keep track of Hidan.

Itachi and I were entwined on one of the couches while Deidara sat on a smaller loveseat. There was room for Kathryn, but currently she was standing behind him and molesting him.

"Yes, I do." Kathryn said firmly.

"You two are not having this conversation." Itachi stated.

I looked at him. "Why not?"

"Because, everyone knows you'll win." He shrugged. "Not only are you in the right, you also are much more stubborn and a better arguer than Kathryn is." He glanced at Kathryn in apology briefly before looking at me. "While that's not always a good thing, it does give you an advantage."

I smirked. "You're a good boy."

"I hate you, Uchiha, un." Deidara growled.

Itachi smirked and his Sharingan flashed. "The truth can hurt, Deidara."

"Itachi isn't a sweet as Deidara." Kathryn stated, hugging Deidara to keep him from cursing Itachi to Hell like he usually does. "He's a butthead."

Itachi shrugged, unaffected. Kathryn smiled at him and he rolled his eyes with a quiet chuckle.

"Just because Itachi doesn't feed me cheesy lines does not make him a butthead. He isn't a butthead because he calls things as he sees them." I countered. "Deidara knows how to make you squeal. Itachi knows such things are useless on me so he doesn't try. He knows what I like and he delivers when he needs to." I smiled at Deidara. "But, Deidara's a good boy too because he's so good to you."

Deidara chuckled. "Thanks Alice. I'm glad you approve, yeah."

"If I didn't, that little touchy session you two have going on over there would not be happening." I smirked. "So you're welcome."

"I still say Deidara's better." Kathryn muttered.

"For you, he is. For me, no one can match up to Itachi." I shrugged. "Kisame gets close, but that's just because he's an adorable shark."

Kathryn smiled. "My baby is better."

"I begged to differ." Itachi and I said in unison.

Deidara laughed. "Think whatever you want. Sanaa is _my_ baby. Of course she's better, un."

"Excuse you." I scoffed. "Tiburon is the son of the Uchiha prodigy and _my_ baby. He will be able to kick your ass by the time he's ten. Sanaa's too much like her mother."

Itachi crossed his arms. "Deidara, my son catches you in traps on a daily basis. The most Sanaa does is guilt people into giving her piggy back rides because she wants to feel tall."

Kathryn frowned. "My baby is utilizing her childhood. Not only that, she is using her resources to get what she wants."

I rolled my eyes. "She has a verbal tick, Kathryn."

Deidara narrowed his eyes. "It only comes out when she's excited, yeah!"

I smirked. "Tiburon is perfect."

"He's named after a shark." Kathryn deadpanned.

"He is named after my best male friend and Itachi's partner. Kisame Hoshigaki is a saint and you will _not_ speak about him like he's anything less than perfect." I snapped. "Besides, at least _I_ named him. You guys had to rely on someone else to name your kid for you."

A sigh came from the door. "You guys are arguing about kids again, aren't you?"

I looked around to see Kisame, Tiburon, Sasuke, Sasori, Sanaa, and Sable standing near the door.

"Kathryn started it." I stated.

Itachi glanced towards the door as well. "How did training go?"

"Good." Kisame grinned. He rumpled Tiburon's hair. "He's starting to get the hang of standing on water. The more chakra he gets as he ages will make it easier on him." He smiled at me. "And I love you too, Alice." I made a heart with my hands and pointed it at him.

Tiburon, who was soaked, grinned up at Kisame for his praise.

"Sasori?" Itachi asked, his eyes flicking to the puppet master.

"Sanaa's chakra control is impressive for someone her age. Which, I admit surprises me since her father is a moron and her mother lacks chakra and concentration on anything other than the object of her affection." Sasori deadpanned, smoothing Sanaa's hair as she stood by his side. She wasn't soaked, but she was covered in dirt.

"Mommy, what are you guys doing?" Sanaa wondered, skipping over to her mother.

Kathryn picked up Sanaa and rubbed her nose against her daughter's and smiled brightly. "Nothing baby. I just like to rile Alice up."

"That isn't hard to do." Sasuke stated.

"Hey!" I snapped. "Sasuke!"

He smirked. "See?"

I huffed.

"Funny, my old partner used to be just like that." Sasori mused. Kisame started snickering and Itachi cracked a smirk.

"You have about fifteen seconds to get out of this room before I sick Sable on you, Pinocchio." I snarled.

Sasori smirked and shrugged, walking towards his partner and the rest of his charges. "There's no need to get snippy with me Orochimaru."

"Sable!" I barked, pointing at Sasori. "Attack!"

Sable growled and began advancing towards Sasori slowly.

"Icy!" Sanaa protested. "Don't hurt Sori-Danna!"

"I'm not." I smiled. "Sable is."

Sasori pointed at Sable. "You bite me and I will snap your neck, dog."

"You _touch_ my puppy with ill intentions and that heart container with be incinerated." I stated. "And she is a _wolf_. Not at dog."

"Alice." Itachi sighed. "Call her off."

I glared at him. "He's comparing me to Orochimaru."

"Sasori." Itachi stated.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Good boy." I smiled. "Sable, down."

Sable's snarling stopped and she relaxed. Her tail started wagging and she trotted over to Sasori to lick his hand. Sasori rolled his eyes and pet her. She soaked up the attention before jumping on Deidara who was in her spot. Deidara grunted under her weight but accepted her presence.

She is so spoiled.

But she deserves all of it.

"Mommy, you get angry really fast." Tiburon stated.

"Sasuke, don't tell him to say stuff like that." I scolded.

Sasuke avoided looking at me.

Tiburon snickered and ran over to the couch Itachi and me were on before he climbed on it with us. I hugged him and Itachi shifted to make more room for him before we both remembered something.

He was drenched.

"Ah! You're soaked!" I whined. "Tibby!"

He grinned knowingly and darted away from the couch. "Got you!"

"Tiburon!" I scolded. "Go take a bath this instant and put clean clothes on."

He shook his head. "I don't wanna."

I glared. "Excuse me?"

"You can't make me." He said stubbornly.

Itachi turned his head slowly to look at Tiburon. "You have five seconds, Tiburon."

Tiburon was gone in the next second.

"How come he listens to you instantly and he gives me lip?" I wondered.

"He likes to rile you up." Kisame chuckled.

"See?" Kathryn wondered, picking twigs out of Sanaa's hair. Said adorable little girl was sitting on the back of the couch behind Deidara so she could play with his hair. "Sanaa is better."

I looked at Kathryn. "Sable."

Kathryn yelped and darted out of the room.

My babies are better.

* * *

><p><em>:)<em>

**_Fun Fact:_** _The word "democracy" is banned in online chat rooms in China._

Answer: _Gaara and Minato. :) They're both amazing._

**QotC: **_Favorite Konoha Jōnin? Yes, that does include_ _Tokubetsu Jōnin_.

**WotC:** _Madre = mother. Padre= Father._

_Uhm... yeah._

_See you._


	10. Chapter 10

What the...? I... don't own Naruto?

What is this outrageous blasphemy?

Enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Kathryn!<strong>

A snore roused me from my comfy sleep and I rolled over, not bothering to open my eyes, and latched onto the sexy man at my side. Briefly running my hands over his body, I was satisfied with the fact that we were both lying correctly in the bed and neither of us rotated.

Half the time, we lay sideways on the mattress because we both are ridiculous when it comes to sleeping.

Anyways, running my fingers over the stitching on Deidara's chest, I snuggled into him. His snoring slowed and he wrapped his arms around me subconsciously, muttering my name sleepily. I smiled and kissed his chest before breathing deeply and preparing for more sleep.

That chance did not come.

The door banged open loudly and suddenly we were being bounced on.

"Mommy! Daddy! Wake up yeah!"

I smiled into Deidara's chest and opened one eye to look at my baby. Sanaa was bouncing on the mattress, her hair was brushed and she wasn't in her pajamas so Danna must have tended to her. Her face was alight with a smile achievable only by her daddy and her gorgeous eyes were sparkling.

I swear I have never seen a more precious little girl.

She's like the sunshine and it makes my life just looking at her cute little face. She could move cities with that endearing little smile and her eyes could melt hearts.

Don't tell me I'm biased.

She's perfect.

She was wearing a pair of black pants and a blue shirt that said "Daddy's Girl" in white letters. Alice had gotten it for her the last time we all came to Konoha. Sanaa had a green one before, but Danna had crossed out Daddy and wrote Danna instead. So Deidara set it on fire...

It was cute though:)

But Sanaa had her hair up in a ponytail with her bangs framing her face so she looked extra cute as her hair bounced.

Deidara grunted tiredly and snatched Sanaa out of the air. He pinned her to his person and rolled over with her in his arms. I saw his smile and that just made my morning that much better. "Sleep, un."

"_No_ Daddy!" Sanaa said with a sigh, poking his chest in protest. "You have to get up! Sori-Danna said to get up. Icy's making breakfast too."

Deidara shook his head and made a show of getting comfortable. He took extra care to mess up Sanaa's hair as he nuzzled her head like a cat. "Don't care, un."

I smiled. Deidara was fully awake now but he was egging Sanaa on because he loved seeing her get excited. I don't know how anyone couldn't smile when Sanaa was excited since she was just so adorable. Danna gets annoyed because that's when her verbal tick comes out, but even his puppet face softens when she's riled up.

"Mommy! Tell him to get his big butt up yeah!" Sanaa stressed.

I feigned a snore.

"Mommy!" She whined, wiggling in Deidara's arms. "Sori-Danna! They won't get up yeah!"

"Up brats! Do _not_ make me come in there!" Danna barked.

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Bite me old man, yeah!"

I glanced towards the doorway when I heard something and I paled a little at seeing the third Kazekage. "Uh… Dei…"

"Shit, un!" Deidara swore when he saw the ominous puppet and the poison clinging to its blades. "We're up Danna, yeah!"

The puppet disappeared with a poof. "That's what I thought you said. Sanaa, come here and we'll go to the kitchen so you can eat."

"Kay Sori-Danna!" Sanaa giggled. She kissed Deidara's cheek before kissing mine. She then hopped off the bed and ran towards the door. "Sori-Danna! Daddy said a bad word! And he messed up my hair yeah!"

I distinctly heard Danna sigh so I smiled and glanced at Deidara who was smirking a bit. "Morning sexy."

He grinned at me. "Hey beautiful, un." He leaned over and kissed me gently before getting up. "Wanna take a shower?"

I blame Deidara for being the cause of all of the perverse images in my head and I blame Alice for encouraging them in my younger years. I shivered at the mental images and smirked perversely. "I'll race you to the bathroom."

A mischievous spark leapt into his eye that Alice called his Inner Teenage-Pyromaniac and Danna called is Inner Idiot. His grin turned into a cocky smirk that made my heart beat ten times faster and a chuckle rumbled from his chest that sent butterflies through me.

"Hmm." He shot to the bathroom at the same time I did.

He's so freaking sexy.

**First Person Alice!**

The way Kathryn and Deidara walked into the room with content smiles forced a number of perverted scenarios through my mind and I had to shake my head roughly to get rid of the mental images that bombarded me.

"I'm not even going to ask." I deadpanned.

Kathryn's smile widened. "Wise move, Momma."

Hidan feigned gagging onto his plate while Sasori introduced his palm to his forehead.

"Not at the table." Pein ordered in his Leader voice because he drained about a galleon of coffee and he was in one of his moods where his moods and personalities flip-flopped every five minutes.

"It's a good thing you two got out here when you did." Kisame snickered. "Hidan and Zetsu were about to eat your portions."

"If I would have had to make more food, I would have been pissed. And I would have starved you both." I stated, petting Sanaa. She was sitting my lap because up until about five minutes before Kathryn and Deidara walked in, Sasori had been tending to his puppet because Hidan threw food at it.

"Where's Tibby, un?" Deidara asked.

"With Sasuke." Konan said between bites of toast.

Itachi glanced at her briefly before looking at Deidara. "Sasuke wanted to take him to breakfast elsewhere since we are leaving soon."

Deidara nodded, chewing an enormous bite of pancake slowly. He takes bigger bites than Zetsu does which is saying a lot. However, Hidan definitely takes the cake on the biggest eater. I think because he bleeds so much and yells so much that he needs all the energy he can get.

It must be a Jashinist thing.

"So." Kakuzu began, his eyes drifting towards our Leader. "When are we leaving?"

Pein glanced at the miser. "By noon. So we will be leaving within the next hour and a half."

"Fair enough." Kakuzu nodded. "Maybe you should go and get Tiburon, Alice."

I shrugged. "Sasuke will bring him soon. He'll be alright."

"Unless he decides to kidnap him." Konan said playfully.

"If anyone other than Kisame was to take Tibby, Sasuke would be the best." I said dismissively. "He wouldn't kidnap Tiburon anyway. Sasuke is afraid of me and Itachi when we're angry."

Kathryn giggled. "Who isn't?"

"I'm not afraid of Icy." Sanaa pointed out.

Sasori scoffed. "You haven't seen her angry, brat."

I kissed the top of Sanaa's head. "Pray you never do, sweetie."

"Pray?" Sanaa asked. "Is that what Hidan-oji does for Jashin half the time when he's not around?"

"Hell yeah it is!" Hidan scoffed as if it should have been common knowledge for a three year old. "Wait, what's the other half? What the fuck does that mean you little brat?"

"Kuzu-oji said half the time you're being an idiot. Tachi says it's his favorite part of the day because you're not around." Sanaa explained, not knowing that what she was saying was thoroughly pissing off Hidan.

Though, she did notice that the rest of us were thoroughly amused.

Deidara, Kisame, Kathryn, and Zetsu snickered. Sasori snorted into his hand along with Konan. Pein's lip twitched with amusement while Kakuzu and Itachi smirked. I just smiled and hugged Sanaa.

"I fucking hate all of you." Hidan snapped.

"What did I do?" The familiar, young voice of my baby asked. I looked to the door to see Tiburon standing in the doorway with Sasuke's hand in his.

"Tibby!" Sanaa greeted. She jumped out of my lap and ran to Tiburon, successfully glomping him. "I missed you."

Tiburon hugged her back, smiling a little. "I was only gone for a little while, Sanaa."

"Otouto." Itachi stated, his eyes landing on his brother.

Sasuke nodded. "Aniki." He looked at me before pointing down at Tiburon. "He needs to be grounded."

I sighed, mentally going through various scenarios that would cause Sasuke to petition for Tiburon's punishment. "What did he do?"

"He set traps for me in my apartment. I got out of bed this morning and was suspended in air. He then spent five minutes laughing at me until he cut me down." Sasuke deadpanned. "Once I was down, I had to dodge three more."

Tiburon snickered. "You have to pay more attention, Sasuke."

Itachi was thoroughly amused. His smirk was directed at his younger brother and it was obvious to me that he was holding in laughter. "He's right, otouto."

"Shut up, Itachi." Sasuke growled.

"Tiburon, did you say sorry to your uncle?" I asked.

Tiburon shook his head.

"Do it." I sighed.

He sighed before looking at Sasuke. "I'm sorry for catching you in a trap, Sasuke."

Sasuke patted Tiburon's head. "Hn." He looked at Pein curiously. "When are you guys leaving?"

"Within the hour." Pein stated.

My heart melted when Tiburon pouted and latched onto Sasuke's leg, but I was ready to go home. I was getting sick of staying in the hotel and I didn't like being in Konoha, knowing Sonido was around. But, just because I was ready to go home didn't mean I liked making Tiburon sad.

So, I sent Sasuke out with him so he could spend some more time with his uncle and say goodbye to the other idiots in Konoha. I took care of packing because Itachi's a man and men don't do silly things like that.

Why do you think I cook?

Because I like to?

Hell no. I cook because it's a woman's job.

Actually it's because everyone in the base is an idiot and none of them know how to cook more than like three things. As if I would conform to sexism. I would have been an awful trophy wife.

So, I gathered all of my shit, Itachi's crap, Tiburon's stuff, and Sable's things, ordered Itachi to store it all in his storage scroll of awesomeness before heading towards the gates of Konoha to begin our trek home.

Sable sat by my side in the massive gateway and she looked around the village boredly. I was currently listening to Itachi and Sasori discuss Tiburon and Sanaa's training with Kakashi. Kathryn was talking about dresses for Sanaa with Sakura and Ino while said little girl listened curiously, Deidara and Hidan were bickering, Kakuzu was boredly talking to Shikamaru and Zetsu, Kisame and Suigetsu were talking about their swords, and Pein and Konan were talking to Tsunade about something important.

"Mommy."

I glanced away from Kakashi to see Tiburon breaking away from Sasuke to walk towards me. I smiled at him and picked him up, hugging him close. "Hey baby."

He hugged my neck. "Are we going home now?"

"Yeah, we're waiting for Pein to give the go-ahead." I nodded. "Did you say bye to Sasuke?"

"Yeah." He nodded, glancing at Sasuke who was standing beside Kakashi. Naruto had popped up out of nowhere and had joined the conversation with way too much enthusiasm.

"So, have you ever thought about sending Tiburon and Sanaa to the Academy?" Kakashi wondered, glancing between Itachi and I. Itachi threw his thumb in my direction, knowing we had the same opinion on the subject.

Not only would I be fully capable of explaining our reasoning, Itachi wasn't exactly the most talkative of people in the world, so when he didn't need to talk, he didn't.

Plus, he wanted to mess with Sasuke and Tiburon. It was one of his favorite things in the world to do.

I shook my head, turning my attention to Kakashi. "There's no way in hell."

Kakashi cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"I get paranoid when he's not in the same room as me or his dad." I stated. "The only people I'm completely comfortable with him being watched by are really just Kisame and Sasuke. I'm comfortable with the rest of the Akatsuki watching him, but that's because they are within walking distance from me. Konoha is further than just the other end of the base."

"What about Sanaa?" Naruto wondered.

Sasori shook his head. "Alice is still too possessive. As am I. Besides, they get more than enough of an education with us. In fact, it's probably more in-depth and intense because there are only two of them and so many of us to train them."

Tsunade who I realized had been both listening in on our conversation and discussing the same topic with Pein and Konan, looked around at me and raised her eyebrow. "But who are they affiliating with?"

"The Akatsuki." I said with a shrug. "Who else?"

"But even the Akatsuki have former villages." Tsunade pointed out.

I glanced at her. "Ame then. That's where Pein rules so that's where we're from."

Pein smirked a bit but didn't comment. Konan just smiled and shook her head.

"You could come and live in the village, Alice. So you could send them to school and allow them to make friends." Tsunade suggested.

I sighed. "While friends are all nice and dandy, I cannot. I want Tiburon to have friends, but I can't just come and live in the village. I am affiliated with the Akatsuki and so is my husband. We are required to stay in the base with the other members when not otherwise excused. Besides, I wouldn't want to just up and leave everyone. Maybe at some point, I'll give in and let him enroll so he can graduate. But as of this moment, he isn't going to the academy."

"I think you should send him." Kakashi shrugged.

I gave him a look. "You just want me to send Tibby because he's adorable."

Kakashi feigned surprised. "You caught me!"

I smirked. "You're a dork, Kakashi." When he smirked at me, I shook my head and turned my attention to Tiburon who was pouting because Itachi and Sasuke were messing with him. I'm pretty sure they were pulling on his ears and messing up his hair together. "Did you have fun with Sasuke, Tibby?"

Tiburon smacked Sasuke's hand when he made to rumple his hair and he looked at me. "Uh huh. Sasuke's lots of fun. He told me a bunch of stuff about you and daddy."

I looked at Sasuke and narrowed my eyes. "I have a feeling that I will want to smack you."

Sasuke shrugged, neither confirming nor denying my statement. "Hn."

"Mommy." Tiburon began, hugging my neck.

I looked at him. "What baby?"

"I want a little brother like daddy has Sasuke." He stated. "Can I have a brother?"

Itachi and Sasuke both snorted with amusement. I just stared at Tiburon, a little shocked by his question. "It's not that easy, Tibby. Babies don't just appear." I explained.

"Why not?" He huffed. "You said Jashin-sama gives babies to people who are… devoted to him. How come he won't give you another one?"

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at me in confusion, Sasuke face-palmed, Konan started giggling since she was listening in, Sasori chuckled, Naruto was making a disgusted face, and Pein was smirking at me in his stoic ways along with Tsunade.

I coughed a bit. "Well Tibby, you can't just ask the one true lord for gifts whenever you want. You have to give in order to receive. Remember that for when you grow up. Life isn't about getting things, that doesn't make you a happy person. What makes you a good, well rounded person is when you give something without expecting anything in return." I kissed his forehead. "You _might_ get a little sibling when you're older. But it won't be for a while."

He stared at me, large, different colored eyes brightening and widening as he absorbed my words in order to understand them. I could see the gears in his head turn as he made sense of what I was telling him. Tibby had always been extremely intelligent despite his knack for getting into trouble. He liked to test his limits and learn from the consequences of his actions.

My little genius.

He's just like his daddy.

"Okay mommy." He nodded.

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "Besides, I want to spoil you for a while before I split attention."

Itachi rolled his eyes, knowing I would spoil my boy regardless.

"Is everyone ready?" Pein wondered, looking over us.

Most of his subordinates nodded quietly, Hidan used profanity, and Kathryn announced she wanted to go home with a smile. I just shrugged and hugged Tiburon when he pouted. He hugged my neck and rested his head on my shoulder, ready to go but wishing he could stay.

"Then let us go." Pein announced.

Konan sighed. "I'm so ready to go home."

"I'm just glad I don't have to pay for a hotel room any longer." Kakuzu grunted.

Sasori chuckled. "That would be your worry."

Kakuzu shrugged.

"You're a fucking cheap-ass Kakuzu." Hidan snapped.

Kakuzu looked at him. "And you're a dumbass."

Deidara patted Hidan's shoulder when he stuttered angrily. "The truth hurts, un."

Sasori rolled his eyes as he adjusted Sanaa in his arms. "You're no better brat."

"Danna!" Kathryn whined, latching onto Deidara. "Be nice to Dei."

Kisame snickered, walking over to me and Itachi. "You're all dorks."

"Tibby, do you want to go with me or Kisame?" Itachi asked.

"I'll go with you, daddy." Tiburon said quietly, reaching for Itachi.

I surrendered my baby seconds before Kisame hoisted me off the ground and swung me around to his back so he could carry me. I wrapped my arms around his neck after recovering from the sudden rush and kissed his cheek.

"Hey Kisa." I smiled.

He grinned at me over his shoulder. "Hey squirt."

I frowned at the degrading nickname and bit Kisame's ear. He growled at me so I growled back. A second later, Sable joined in. Kisame bent over with me still on his back to growl at her and she licked the length of his face, causing him to huff in slight disgust.

"You two are so strange." Kakashi pointed out, watching us.

"You love it." Kisame and I said in unison.

Pein rolled his eyes. "Let's go."

He shot off, his subordinates and partner darting after him obediently, all of us heading for home.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, kind of just a filler-ish chapter. It has its purposes, but it also is basically just here to eat up some time.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Sound travels about 4 times faster in water than in air_.

Answer: _Kakashi. :) Second would be Neji._

**QotC: **_Favorite of the Konoha 11?_

_So... yeah... there is a road near my house called Spike Road, and you can't drive on it because at the entrance to the road, there are road spikes to prevent people from driving on it. I think it's extremely amusing and ironic. :D_

_Has anyone else seen the leaked first episode of _Avatar:The Legend Of Korra_? I saw it and I was like ~~~C===3 everywhere.  
><em>

_I'll talk to you guys later. Right now, I'm going to go and kill my brother multiple times in the new Naruto Shippuden game that came out last week before he leaves._

_Toodles._


	11. Chapter 11

_Fuck._

_Sorry for the late chapter._

_Excuse down below._

_I do not own Naruto. Enjoy._

* * *

><p>"Hey Ice Bitch."<p>

I looked up from a pile of clean laundry to raise my eyebrow at the Jashinist peeking his head into my bedroom. "What's up Hidan?"

He raised his eyebrow at me in return. "What are you making for dinner?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. I haven't thought about it. Why? Are you hungry already?"

"Nah." He said, shaking his head. "I was going to tell you to make the fucking steaks we have if you hadn't planned on anything else."

"I'll think about it. Itachi and I will not be eating it, so I will probably make those and something else for myself, Itachi, and those who do not want steaks." I nodded.

He threw me a smile. "Good bitch."

I sighed dreamily. "I feel so appreciated."

"You should." He smirked. "What the fuck are you doing anyways?

I looked between him and the laundry for a minute. "Tending to my garden."

His eyes narrowed. "Ice."

"Don't ask stupid questions and you won't get smartass answers." I shrugged.

"I meant, whose fucking laundry are you doing?" He asked, walking into the room. He flopped on the bed beside me, grabbing a pillow from the top of the bed so he could prop his head up.

I was sitting at the foot of the bed, with a massive pile of laundry in front of me. Hidan's head now took up the space beside me where I had intended to put his clothes. "Everybody's." I admitted, holding a pair of his pants and laying them on top of his back. "Those are yours."

"How the fuck do you get roped into doing all of the fucking housework?" Hidan wondered.

I glanced at him. "I ask myself that question every day. I guess I'm just that lucky."

He smirked. "So why not make everyone do their own shit?"

"Because you won't, Kathryn won't, Deidara won't, and the kids won't. If I left you guys to do your own crap, this base will start smelling like sweaty ninja and I'm not okay with that." I shrugged. "Not to mention, I'm just a nice person."

"Bull fucking shit." He scoffed. He grinned at me when I smacked him in the face with a sock. "Still though… I'd just fucking make everyone take care of their own shit."

I nodded slightly. "Yes, but aren't you glad I don't?"

"Hell yeah I am. This base was fucking wreck before you and the Skinny Bitch moved in. My shit was everywhere, and the food fucking sucked." Hidan nodded.

I frowned. "I know. I remember."

He bumped his shoulder against my side. "Do you want help?"

"Did you just ask if you could help me?" I asked, looking down at him. "Are you feeling okay?" I pressed my hand to his forehead.

He smacked my hand away. "I'm trying to be fucking nice and you're mocking me."

I smiled and patted his head gently. "I'm alright Hidan. If you want to help, you can help me fold these clothes. But your company is more than enough."

"How the fuck do you fold this shit?" He asked, sitting up so he could grab a shirt. I knew instantly it was Kisame's shirt just from its size. I snickered and carefully showed him how to fold a shirt before telling him where to put Kisame's clothes. I then spent a few moments showing him how to fold pants.

Hidan's a quick learner.

Sometimes.

"Hey! These are my fucking pants! I haven't seen them in forever!" Hidan announced, holding up a pair of black pants. "I wonder where they've fucking been…"

I snickered.

"What?" He demanded. "I had them." I admitted.

He raised his eyebrow at me.

"I steal like all of your guys' clothes half the time." I laughed. "That's what you get for making me do all your laundry. I see a pair of comfy looking pants or a nice shirt and I take it."

He glared at me. "You fucking thief."

"Do you regret taking me out with Kakuzu and making me steal shit for you guys?" I asked. "You guys turned me into a kleptomaniac."

He hugged his pants. "Keep your thieving hands off my fucking pants."

"I swear all of the clothes I wear at night are yours, Itachi's, or Kisame's. And half of my shirts are yours and Itachi's. I know a few of my pants are yours too… And probably Itachi's." I admitted. I pulled on the shirt I was wearing. It was a plain black t-shirt with a few rips in the sleeves and a few in the lower back. "This shirt is yours."

"I don't fucking wear shirts anyways so I don't give a shit about that. But don't take my fucking pants." He snapped. "Wait… do you take my fucking underwear too?"

"Of course." I deadpanned. "I collect and stash your underpants in a hidden compartment in my closet. It's one of my many hobbies."

He made a face. "Ew."

I snorted. "No Hidan. I don't steal your underwear. I know you would go around commando or naked if something happened to them so I make sure to get you some whenever I go and get clothing for someone. You tend to ruin half of them with your rituals."

He shrugged and reached for another piece of clothing to fold, freezing when he realized he had grabbed a bra. From the size, I knew it was one of mine so I smirked at him, waiting to see what he would do.

"Uh…" He began.

"Yes Hidan? Is there a problem?" I asked.

He wiggled the bra a bit. "Is… this yours?"

"Yes it is." I smiled.

He stared at it for a second before looking at me. He looked back to my bra again before looking at me. "There's no fucking way. Your tits are way too big for this fucking bra."

I stared at him. "Really Hidan?"

"Yes really." He stressed. He looked between me and my bra a few more seconds before cocking his head to the side. "Nah… You're right. It has to be yours. Kathryn's tits aren't big enough for this and neither are Konan's."

"Do you have any shame at all, Hidan?"

I looked towards the door and snorted at the sight of Kakuzu standing in the doorway with Sasori.

Hidan shrugged. "It's a fucking bra." He then proceeded to slingshot the bra at me. "What are you two shit heads doing?"

"Seeing if Alice is done with our clothes." Sasori informed him.

I pointed at their separate piles. "I just finished with your guys' stuff. I just need to finish mine, Tiburon's, and Itachi's up then I'll be done. I'll probably get to those later though."

Kakuzu walked forward and picked up his clothes off the bed, patting my head. "Thanks."

"No problem, Kakuzu." I smiled.

Sasori dipped his head at me. "Thank you, Alice."

"Yep." I nodded, standing up from the bed as the more stoic members carried their clothes from the room. "Hidan, do you want to take your clothes back to your room or do you want me to?"

Hidan got to his feet and shrugged. "I'll take them."

"Let me rephrase." I stated. "Hidan, do you want to take your clothes back to your room or do you want me to do it so they will actually make it to your dresser and not end up in a pile on the floor?"

He looked between me and his clothes for a minute. "You better do it then, bitch."

"That's what I thought." I nodded, shooing him towards the door. "Go do something productive. Don't you have praying to do?"

He shrugged and left me to my own devices of tidying up the base as I did every Thursday when Itachi and Kisame were training Sanaa and Tiburon. I took Hidan's, Deidara's, Sanaa's, and Kathryn's clothes to their room and put them away for them before doing Pein and Konan's laundry and taking them to Pein's office for them to deal with. Kisame's room was always last because his room was connected to mine and Itachi's.

Zetsu's clothes would always disappear from my room between trips so I never had to worry about getting his to him.

Once I was done, I went to the various bathrooms in the base and cleaned them before going through everyone's room and cleaning them. Once the bedrooms were done, I worked on the living spaces such as the kitchen, living room, Sasori's workshop, the medical center, and the hallways.

The bedrooms were probably the hardest part, simply because some of the people in this base are retarded when it comes to cleaning up after themselves. Sasori's room was never an issue and Kakuzu's is always decently clean too.

Kathryn and Deidara's room was like cleaning a tornado zone, Hidan's room was like a bloody locker room mixed with some sort of blender. My room was pretty much spotless because both Itachi and I are OCD and Kisame's room wasn't ever dirty beside clothes on the floor and old bandages from Samehada.

Sanaa's room was pretty messy, but most of it was clothes and toys. Tiburon was much cleaner, but he did like to leave his ninja weapons all over the place as well as his toys. The only toy that was never out of place was Jaws.

Zetsu, Pein, and Konan all cleaned their own rooms so I didn't need to worry about them.

Thursdays were the days I cleaned because it was the one day of the week were everyone was out of my way. Pein and Konan were always off doing their own thing so they were never an issue. However, it was the day Itachi and Kisame took Sable and trained Tiburon and Sanaa. It was the day Zetsu went out for like a full 24 hours to feed on humans.

Hidan typically either used Thursdays as Jashin-worshipping day or he would go with Kakuzu on his bounties. Jashin-worshipping days either included barricading himself on the furthest part of the base to do continuous rituals, or he would go out and kill people. Kakuzu was always either babysitting him when they went out, or he would go somewhere out of my way and take care of the organization's finances.

Thursdays were supply run days for Sasori, Deidara, and Kathryn. If we didn't need any sort of supplies, Sasori would lock himself in his workshop and tend to his puppets or go outside and tend to them so he would be out of my way depending on if he wanted me to clean his workshop or not. Deidara used Thursdays to train Kathryn or spoil her if they weren't going out for supplies.

I was left to clean.

Yeah, I'm that good of a person.

And what do I get as a reward?

Nothing.

Am I okay with that?

Perfectly.

I don't do it for recognition and praise. I do it because it bothers me when the base isn't clean, and because I care about the idiots in this base.

Anyways, I cleaned the base to the best of my ability before wondering to the kitchen so I could decide what to make for dinner. I was staring into the open refrigerator when Hidan wandered in, blood on his chest and hands.

"Hey bitch." He greeted.

"Hey Hidan." I said absently, not bothering to look at him. "Try not to get the kitchen bloody. I just cleaned it."

He shrugged. "Whatever. Come here and turn the fucking faucet on for me then. I gotta wash this blood off my hands."

I broke away from the fridge to walk over to the sink. I turned the knob for cold water, knowing Hidan preferred cold water to wash his hands like I did, and I left him to wash his hands so I could go back to staring into the fridge.

I was glaring at the second row when an arm curled over my shoulder. I didn't need to look to know it was Hidan.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm trying to decide what to make other than steaks." I shrugged. "I'm making steaks for everyone but Itachi and myself. I just don't know what I want to eat so I don't know what to make."

He grunted to show he heard me before looking at the fridge with me. "Why don't you make that tuna shit you like so much?"

I shrugged. "I don't feel like making it. Though I probably should because Tiburon loves it and so does Kisame."

He smirked. "Sounds like you're making that then."

Nodding, I reached into the fridge and grabbed everything I would need to cook. "You get spoiled today."

"Me?" Hidan asked. "Why?"

"Because not only did you help me out of my food-decision debacle, you also helped me with laundry." I informed him. "Good boy."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't fucking treat me like a dog, Ice."

"I'm not." I told him. "You would know if I was."

"Just make me food." He said, rolling his eyes.

I smirked and nodded, laying out ingredients.

As I made dinner, Hidan sat by loyally, keeping me company as he usually did. It didn't take me too long to make and when I had almost finished, everyone else began showing up in the kitchen, done with their daily activities.

"What did you make Mommy?" Tiburon asked, hopping into the room. He hopped over to Hidan and climbed in his lap without saying a word. Hidan accepted his presence without complaint. Sable came trotting in a second later and she went to her bowls so she could start eating the food I prepared for her.

"I made steaks and tuna casserole." I told him. "What do you want baby?"

"Uh…" He mused. "What are you eating Hidan-oji?"

Hidan looked down at him. "Steak."

Tiburon looked torn. He loved the tuna casserole I made, but he wanted to be like his not-biological uncle and eat steak.

"Tibby, if you want both, you can have both." I told him with a smile. "Hidan will probably eat both too."

Tiburon nodded quickly. "I want both then mommy."

It's not like he wouldn't run it off.

The kid is in better shape than I am.

"Hook me up with the tuna, Al." Kisame grinned as he walked in the room, Sanaa hanging from his hands. He was swinging her as he walked, much to her amusement.

"I want steak. Tuna smells weird and I like fishies when they're not in my tummy." Sanaa said with a smile.

"Steak." Kakuzu grunted, entering the kitchen.

"Both." Sasori stated, returning my smirk when I gave him one.

Kathryn skipped in with Deidara a few seconds later. "I want steak Momma. You know I don't like fish that much."

"Surprise me, un." Deidara shrugged.

"Steak okay?" I asked as I prepared plates.

He nodded. "Yeah. Thanks Alice, un."

"You're welcome Deidara." I said with a smile. "You want tuna Itachi or do you want me to make you something else?"

Itachi looked around at me as he entered the room and shrugged. "Tuna is fine, Alice."

"Alright." I nodded.

I dished out food as I always did before taking my seat between Kisame and Itachi. Tiburon sat in Hidan's lap and Sanaa sat in Sasori's, both of them nomming on their food.

I snorted as I watch Tiburon eat. He hadn't grasped the purpose of a knife as an eating utensil so he was ripping at his steak with just his teeth like some sort of starving carnivore.

"Jashin Tibby…" I laughed. "Hidan, help the carnivore cut up his food please."

Hidan looked down at Tiburon chewing on his entire steak and he snorted. "You're such a fucking weirdo, brat." He shook his head. "Put that down before you fucking choke."

Tiburon dropped his steak on the table and pouted while Hidan used a knife to cut up the steak for him so he could eat it. When Hidan was done, he thanked said Jashinist before devouring his steak.

"At least he is true to his name." Kakuzu grunted.

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Tiburon just inhaled that thing like a shark." Kakuzu clarified.

I peeked around at Kisame who was pouting as he ate his tuna casserole. "Awe. But my sharks are adorable." I hugged Kisame. "Being a shark is an honor."

Kisame grinned and hugged me back. "

Sanaa." Sasori sighed, looking down at the tiny girl in his lap. She had taken a page out of Tiburon's book and was tearing at the steak with her teeth and hands, trying to get decent sized pieces of it.

She looked up at him with the steak still in her hands and juice all over her face. "What Sori-Danna?"

Sasori rolled his eyes. "I'll cut it up for you."

"But this is more fun." She whined.

He rolled his eyes. "You are just like both of your parents."

All of us looked towards Deidara and Kathryn who were tearing at their steaks in similar manners.

I rolled my eyes. "I already do enough shit around here. I am _not_ cutting up your food for you guys."

Kathryn and Deidara both looked up. "What (un)?"

* * *

><p><em>My apologies for this being late.<em>

_I worked literally from open to close yesterday. :( That's from 11 in the morning to 3:30 AM. Yeah. Fuck that._

**_Fun Fact: _**_Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there._

Answer: _Neji and Naruto. Then Kiba and Shikamaru_.

**QotC: **_Favorite ninja weapon? Kunai, Shuriken, etc._

**WotC:** _ Lo siento__ - I'm sorry. _

_:( I feel bad for not updating on time, but I did tell you guys that my schedule wasn't dead set._

_But anyways. I'll talk to you guys later._

_Bye~_


	12. Chapter 12

_This chapter may seem like a filler chapter..._

_But that's because it partially is. However, I wrote it to show the relationships between the kids and their third parents._

_So, I wrote it to serve more of a purpose than "Hey, let's just bullshit something because I don't want to get to the plot yet."_

_Do not worry. The plot/subplot is coming soon._

_For now, I do not own Naruto._

_And enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Sanaa shifted in her sleep, rolling over tiredly and snuggling into the giant pillow of the massive bed she was sleeping in. The familiar, musky smell of wood and poison was her reward and she smiled.

She loved sleeping in her Sori-Danna's room.

Opening her eyes, Sanaa looked around and smiled at seeing her most favorite redhead sitting at his workbench with his back to her.

Sasori was like a second father to her and she loved him more than just about anything. No matter what, he was her Sori-Danna and she was his brat.

And she was proud of it.

"Morning, Sori-Danna." Sanaa said quietly.

Sasori blinked and looked around. He smirked a bit when his eyes landed on Sanaa and his gaze softened ever so slightly. "Good morning brat. Did you have a good sleep?"

She nodded. "Mhm. I love sleeping in Sori-Danna's room."

Sasori reached over and rumpled her hair. "Well you're welcome to sleep in here whenever you want."

She beamed at him.

"Why don't you go and brush your teeth and put on some clean clothes?" Sasori asked before smirking. "And you might want to brush your hair. It's a wreck."

Sanaa giggled. "Kay."

Sasori looked after her as she hopped down from the bed and darted out of his room and across the hall to her own. He silently kept an eye on her chakra, monitoring it while she was out of his sight.

Ten minutes later, she came running back in, wearing a blue shirt and a black skirt. Her hair, however, was still a mess.

"Do you like the bed hair look, brat?" Sasori wondered, picking up Sanaa and setting her on his lap when she ran to him.

She shook her head and handed him a brush. "My hair looks prettiest when you brush it, Sori-Danna. Will you?"

Sasori sighed and rolled his eyes. He set her on the ground and took the brush from her before turning her around. "You're lucky."

She cocked her head to the side and looked back at him. "Why am I lucky, Sori-Danna?"

"That you're my brat, brat." He stated, turning her head back around. He silently brushed her hair, taking extreme care not to hurt her or pull her thick, blond locks.

A few minutes later, he finished and handed Sanaa the brush. "If you want anything special done, you better ask your mother, father, or Alice. I'm not all that knowledgeable with hairdos."

Sanaa rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You know _everything_, Sori-Danna."

Sasori chuckled. "True, but," he shook his hair in her face, "my hair is too short to do anything with, so I don't worry too much about hairdos."

Giggling, Sanaa rubbed her face where Sasori's hair tickled her. "Then why not grow it out, yeah?"

Sasori suppressed a sigh at her verbal tick and looked at Sanaa before shrugging. "I like it like this."

"Me too." She beamed. "I love everything about Sori-Danna yeah."

Sasori smirked and patted her head. "I share the same opinion of you, brat."

Sanaa threw her arms around his neck, hugging him. "Can I spend all day with you, Sori-Danna? Since Tibby and me don't have to train today?"

"Sure kid." Sasori nodded, returning the embrace with one arm. "Just you and me."

She hugged him tighter. "You're the bestest."

"I know." Sasori smirked.

* * *

><p>Tiburon scratched his face, rolling over. Something kept touching his nose and it was tickling him, thus, disturbing his sleep. And if Tiburon loved anything, it was his sleep. He buried his face into Jaws and prepared to return to his dreams.<p>

Something sharp latched gently onto his ear and a tugging on it prevented that, however.

Tiburon groaned in frustration and fatigue and swatted at the thing on his ear. His fingers brushed against skin and he assumed that dealt with the problem. A raspy snicker was his answer though he ignored it. Frowning, he rubbed his ear and returned to his stuffed animal.

"Tibby." The raspy voice whispered.

Tiburon ignored it.

"Tibby." It repeated.

Tiburon smacked the hand away that prodded his ticklish sides.

"Tiburon." The voice hissed in his ear.

The young Uchiha growled at the voice and slapped at the mouth that made a farting noise against his tummy.

A sigh sounded from the owner of the voice before Jaws was ripped out of his arms and he was forced on his back. "Tibby."

Tiburon whined at the loss of his Jaws and he reached for his toy. When he couldn't find it, he opened his eyes tiredly.

Inches from his face, was the familiar, blue and adorable face of one of Tiburon's favorite people in the world. A grin was plastered on his face and his eyes were alight with amusement.

Kisame Hoshigaki.

If there was anyone in the world Tiburon love more than his parents, Kisame would be tied for first with Sasuke. Kisame was Tiburon's most adamant protector and he spoiled Tiburon rotten whenever he thought Alice and Itachi weren't looking.

Tiburon didn't love him for the spoils though. He loved Kisame because Kisame was like another father. Honestly, Kisame was more affectionate and playful than Itachi which made Kisame the fun dad while Itachi was the fatherly dad.

Both were utterly necessary in Tiburon's opinion.

"Hi Kisa." Tiburon yawned.

Kisame grinned and stroked Tiburon's straight hair, impressed by how neat it stayed even though he had just woken up. Tiburon didn't move very much in his sleep though so that explained why it didn't look like a bird's nest. "Morning sleepy-head. You're impossible to wake up you know."

Tiburon rubbed his nose, Kisame's breath having tickled it, before wrapping his arms around Kisame's neck and hugging him. "I'm tired, Kisa."

"Well it's time to get up so no more bed." Kisame told him, sitting up and bringing Tiburon with him so he could hug him properly. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

Tiburon nodded, resting his head on Kisame's shoulder. "Hn."

Kisame sighed. "The Uchiha grunt is already apart of you, huh? Guess you really are just like your father."

"Huh?" Tiburon asked.

"Nothing kiddo." Kisame chuckled, patting his back gently. "Wanna get ready for the day or go get breakfast first?"

"Food." Tiburon told him. "But I'm not hungry yet." He hugged Kisame tighter. "Will you play with me today? Since me and Sanaa aren't gonna be training today?"

"All day, Tibby." Kisame promised, kissing the side of Tiburon's head. "All day, every day. All you need to do is ask."

Tiburon smiled. "I love you Kisa."

"I love you too." Kisame assured him.

"You're the best." Tiburon informed him.

"Thank you." Kisame snickered and hugged Tiburon tighter. "I know."

* * *

><p>"What are the two of you up to?"<p>

Kisame and Tiburon looked up from the couch they were sitting on together to see Alice standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"Watching TV." They said in unison, pulling their attention from the TV to see a smirk on her face.

Alice smiled at them, enjoying their adorableness. Kisame was sitting on one side of the couch against the arm, and Tiburon was sitting in his lap. They had a bowl of chips on the cushion beside them and they were watching various shows on the television.

"You two are cute." Alice told them.

Tiburon grinned at her while Kisame chuckled. "What are you doing, squirt?"

Alice huffed at the name but shrugged as she walked towards them. "Just checking on you guys. Itachi wants to go to the town nearby and he wants me to go with him. Deidara and Kathryn are coming with us, so you can stay here with Tibby."

Kisame scoffed. "As if I would leave him. He's mine."

Alice smiled. "You love your Kisa, Tibby?"

Tiburon dipped his head. "Yes Mommy." He hugged Kisame as best as he could. "My Kisa."

Kisame grinned and hugged Tiburon back. "My Tibby."

"Want anything while we're gone?" Alice asked, kissing Kisame's cheek.

"Dango!" Tiburon said firmly.

Alice sighed. "You and your sweets." She shook her head and kissed his gently, stroking his hair. "You get it from your father."

"What does he get from me?" Itachi wondered, appearing behind her.

"Your ridiculous sugar addiction." Alice deadpanned.

Itachi sniffed and looked away from her, knowing she was right.

Kisame chuckled. "Have fun you two."

"Hn." Itachi hummed. He scooped up Alice and held her bridal-style. "Let's go, Alice."

She rolled her eyes, smirking. "You are so dramatic, dork."

Itachi shrugged and kissed her fully. "Hn."

"Ew!" Tiburon protested. "No kissing!"

Kisame snickered as Alice waved him away and Itachi simply turned around and carried Alice towards the entrance. He rumpled Tiburon's hair after a minute. "Wanna keep watching TV, or is there something else you wanna do?"

Tiburon went quiet for a minute. "Let's go play with Sable!"

Kisame smirked and nodded. "Sounds good, kiddo."

* * *

><p>Kathryn hummed to herself as she skipped down the hallway to her Danna's room. She slipped into her room and opened the door connecting their rooms when she reached it before peeking inside. Sanaa was sitting on Sasori's lap and the two of them were positioned at his work bench.<p>

Sanaa had a pencil in her hand and Sasori had one arm wrapped around her stomach while the other rested on the work bench near the paper Sanaa was drawing on. A pencil was on the table by his hand.

Kathryn giggled at them. "Awe! You two are so cute!"

Sanaa looked up from her paper and smiled at her mother. "Hi Mommy!"

"Brat." Sasori grunted.

"What are you two cuties doing?" Kathryn wondered as she walked in.

"Drawing." Sanaa told her, pointing to her paper. A number of drawings were on the paper. It was obvious which ones Sasori drew and which ones Sanaa drew, but Sanaa's drawings were rather mature for her age as the things she drew had decently proportional attributes and the right number of limbs if they had any.

Sasori smirked. "She is actually quite good for her age. I suppose she developed my artistic abilities. Since her father has none."

"I heard that Danna, un!" Deidara snapped, sticking his head in the room. "You're a jerk, yeah."

Sasori shrugged. "I'm also correct, brat."

Deidara pouted until Kathryn decided she needed to cheer him up by glomping him. Kathryn kissed his cheek and hugged him. "Me and Dei are going to town with Itachi and Alice. Will you watch Sanaa for us, Danna?"

Sasori stared at her. "Do you even need to ask?"

Kathryn smiled, her gaze softening. "You two are adorable." She kissed Sanaa's cheek. "You're your Danna's baby, aren't you Sanaa?"

Sanaa nodded and kissed Sasori's chin. "Yep! I love my Sori-Danna."

"I think the same thing about you, brat." Sasori patted her head.

Deidara kissed Sanaa's cheek before grabbing Kathryn's hand. "Bye baby, bye Danna. We'll see you later, un."

"Behave." Sasori told them.

"Bye-bye Mommy. Bye-bye Daddy." Sanaa smiled. "I love you!"

"Love you too (un)!" They said in unison as they hurried from the room.

* * *

><p>Kathryn yawned as she and Deidara walked towards their bedroom later on that night. It was getting close to midnight. The pair of them got home later than expected, but they enjoyed their time out while they had it.<p>

Now they just wanted to check on their baby before going to sleep.

So they snuck into their room quietly and tiptoed to the door connecting their room to Sasori's. They pushed it open and Kathryn was forced to bury her face into Deidara's shirt to keep from squealing.

Sasori was lying on his bed, his eyes closed though everyone knew he was still awake. One of his hands was tucked under his head while the other was curled around Sanaa. She was sleeping beside him, using his chest as a pillow. One of her hands was clutching his shirt while the other was under her chin.

Sasori was silently stroking her hair.

"Go to sleep, brats." Sasori said quietly, opening his eyes to look at his brats. "It is past your bedtime."

Deidara stuck his tongue out at Sasori while Kathryn stifled her giggle. She smiled at him. "Night Danna. I love you. Thank you for being so sweet to Sanaa."

"You say that as if I would treat her any differently." Sasori stated. "Good night Kathryn. Good night Deidara."

"Night Danna, un." Deidara smirked.

* * *

><p>Alice stretched as she reached her bedroom, Itachi by her side. He kissed her cheek gently before heading to the bathroom. She smiled after him for a second before her eyes fell on the door that connected their room to Kisame's.<p>

Curious and desiring to check on two of her favorite people, Alice went to the door and opened it quietly. She walked in, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness before smiling at the sight that greeted her.

Kisame was lying on his side, his quiet snoring filling the silence of the room. His arms were wrapped securely around Tiburon and his chin rested on Tiburon's head. Tiburon was likewise on his side. He was facing Kisame, his forehead pressed against Kisame's chest while his arms were wrapped around Jaws. Sable was lying on the foot of the bed, her head resting on Kisame's leg.

Alice smiled and stood there watching them for a time before a pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a chin rested on her shoulder. "Alice?"

"They are so cute." Alice told Itachi, looking at him for a second before looking back at Kisame and Tiburon. "He is so good to Tiburon."

Itachi hummed his agreement. "I know. Our son is lucky to have Kisame." He kissed Alice's cheek. "We are too."

Alice nodded. "Damn straight."

* * *

><p><em>Don't like it?<em>

_Get over it._

_**Fun Fact: **'Jedi' is an official religion, with over 70,000 followers, in Australia._

Answer: _Fuma Shuriken, Samehada, and just swords in general. :/_

**QotC: **_If you could be any character in all of Naruto, who would you be and why? I want reasons, not just a name._

**WotC:** _ Espada = Sword._

_So, do you guys remember me talking about the kid with the Akatsuki beanie who would draw me symbols in my English class? Yeah, well I'm a teachers aid during my fifth period class which is also my longest class, and three of the teachers share me. My old History teacher, my current English teacher, and my English teacher from sophomore and junior year. Well, I the kid has my old English and History teachers and I grade his tests all the time.  
>He draws me pictures and shit all the time. It makes my day because the History teacher gets all confused and flustered. The kid drew me a fighting scene of Naruto characters and a winking Itachi... I about fucking died.<em>

_Don't tell, but I have him a hundred on his test for that... Even though he missed a few answers._

_Hey, he deserved it. It was a well drawn picture. And he often refers to me as a ninja XD._

_I love that kid. He makes me laugh._

_Anywho, story telling is over. Bye lovelies._

_**I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS AND SUPPORT! SERIOUSLY, YOU ALL DESERVE MEDALS AND SHIT!**_

Bye. :D


	13. Chapter 13

_So... 13 chapters._

_And yet so far away from the end. This is going to take forever...  
><em>

_Plot is coming soon though:D And this is not a filler chapter._

_It's got little bits for foreshadowing all over it._

_So enjoy. I don't own the Akatsuki_

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

"Do you miss home?" Kathryn asked, glancing at me.

Currently she and I were sitting outside beside the lake near the base. Sanaa and Tiburon were swimming in the water, playing with Kisame and Hidan. Sasori and Kakuzu were both inside, being antisocial as they tended to puppets and counted money. Zetsu was basking in the sun with Sable and Deidara and Itachi were sparring in an adjacent field because they were bored.

I tore my gaze away from Sanaa who was splashing Hidan to look at Kathryn. "Home?"

"Ohio." She clarified.

I raised my eyebrow and looked away from her as I considered her question. "A little. But, we've been here for so long that it's not really significant anymore." I looked back at her. "Why?"

"I miss my mom and little sister." She shrugged. "Sometimes I wish we could go back, even for just a day."

I bumped my shoulder against Kathryn's and rested my head on her it. She was a mommy's girl and her little sister was her best friend besides me back in Ohio. I could imagine how she felt even though I didn't have the same reasons to miss our old home. "I'm sorry Kat. I know how much it sucks. I miss Bee and Louis so much."

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, them too. And Seth."

"Ah, Sethy-Poo." I snickered. "I wonder how they are…"

"My sister would be in high school." Kathryn mused. "I wonder how my mom is… since I've been gone. I wonder what Bee and Lulu told her."

I sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Kathryn smiled, resting her head on mine. "Besides, I'd rather be here with you. Here, I have the Akatsuki, Danna, and my best friend." Her eyes drifted to the lake and her gaze softened. "Here I have Deidara and Sanaa."

I smiled. "Hn."

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we didn't come here?" Kathryn whispered.

"I try not to think about it." I muttered, my gaze flicking to the clearing off to the side where Itachi was shooting a fireball at Deidara.

She shook her head. "I meant for us. What we would have done."

"I would have gone to college and started my career." I shrugged. "You would have done the same. My career would be in the toilet after a year or two because you'd get a boyfriend, he'd make you cry, and then I'd have to kill him."

She snickered. "I love you Momma."

"I love you too Kat." I replied. "Oi! Hidan! Do not hit Kisame!"

Kisame sent me a grin before punching Hidan in the head while said Jashinist flicked me off. I smirked and returned my head to Kathryn's shoulder as Hidan filled the clearing with loud swearing.

"If I die, would you take Sanaa?" Kathryn asked.

I scoffed. "Of course I would. I'd have to fight Sasori and we might be forced to share her, but I would never let her be alone." I looked at Kathryn. "What's with you and your deep thoughts today?"

She shrugged. "I've been thinking a lot."

"That's new." I muttered. "Don't hurt yourself, babe."

She yanked on my hair with a glare. "Bitch."

I snickered and hugged her. "You love me."

"You're lucky I do." She growled. "Meany."

"Why is she a meany, un?" Deidara asked, suddenly appearing in front of us. He didn't give Kathryn a chance to answer, pressing his lips to hers in the next second and knocking her back into the grass, wrapping his arms around her.

I avoided getting caught in their nonsense and shook my head at their antics as I looked away from them. However, Itachi was centimeters from me and the second I turned my head in his direction, he copied Deidara perfectly in his own sexy and manly ways.

I grunted a bit as I hit the grass beneath him and rolled my eyes at his ridiculousness. I returned his kisses and wrapped my arms around his neck, letting him know that even though he was a dork, I condoned his actions. A few moments later, he pulled away slightly and gave me a beautiful Uchiha smirk.

"Care to explain?" I wondered.

He shrugged. "Why must I need a reason to kiss my wife?"

"Point taken." I stated, smiling at him. "Did you have fun sparring with Deidara?"

"Hn." He grunted. "It has been a while since I have stretched so thoroughly."

I blinked. "I'll push away the perverted thoughts going through my mind right now."

He rolled his eyes and looked at Deidara who had finally realized Itachi had insulted him. "Fuck you Uchiha, yeah! I wasn't trying."

Itachi smirked. "Well try next time, Deidara."

"Stop it." I scolded. "Stop being mean to him, Itachi. Deidara quit your bitching."

Deidara huffed and latched onto Kathryn, letting her soothe him with words that would inevitably boost his ego. I rolled my eyes at them and looked back at the Uchiha looming over me. "You're cute."

He kissed my forehead before backing off me and letting me sit up, pulling me closer to his person. He held my hand and rested his head on my shoulder, kissing my neck gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." I told him, kissing his hair.

We sat like that for a little while before Itachi exhaled deeply. "Alice."

I hummed. "What?"

"Tiburon and Sanaa are playing in the mud." He sighed.

I huffed. "Jashin damn it." I looked around to see Sanaa and Tiburon wrestling in the mud and throwing mud-balls at Hidan and Kisame who were trying to get them out of said muck.

"Tiburon!" I barked. "Out of the mud, Now."

He looked around at me before sitting in the mud and sticking his tongue out at me.

"That freaking brat." I growled.

Itachi lifted his head off my shoulder. "Tiburon."

Tiburon was out of that mud quicker than you could say his name.

"Why is it that he listens to you so well?" I demanded.

Itachi shrugged. "I'm scarier than you."

"You spoil him more." I deadpanned.

Itachi didn't reply.

"Sanaa!" Kathryn called. "Don't play in the mud baby. It'll mess up your pretty hair."

"But daddy plays with mud all the time." She pouted.

Itachi chuckled while Kisame and Hidan started laughing.

"It's not mud, Sanaa." Deidara pouted. "It's clay, un! I use it to make art."

Sanaa looked at the mud and picked some up to show her dad. "It looks like your clay, Daddy. It's just brown."

"Get out of the mud, Sanaa yeah." Deidara huffed.

Sanaa obeyed with a dismayed sigh and returned to the lake where Tiburon was flicking water at Sable and Zetsu. Zetsu was arguing with himself about eating Tiburon for hitting them with water. Sable meanwhile was busying herself with attempting to catch the water.

"Tiburon, leave Zetsu alone." I sighed. "If he wanted to be wet, he'd get in the water."

"**Thank you!** It's alright Alice." Zetsu stated.

Tiburon sighed and swam away from the spy and my wolf. "You're no fun mommy."

"I know. I'm a terrible person." I deadpanned.

"No you're not Icy!" Sanaa called.

I smiled. "Thank you sweetie."

"Yes you are, yeah." Deidara said quietly so Sanaa couldn't hear him.

Itachi gave Deidara a look at which Deidara quickly looked away. Kathryn giggled about Deidara being cute and she glomped him with all intentions of raping him.

I rolled my eyes at them and kissed Itachi's head. "I love you babe."

"Hn." He hummed. "I love you too."

A crack sounded from the base a second later as a door was thrown open harshly.

"TIBURON UCHIHA!"

Tiburon jumped at the loud shout from the base and hid behind Kisame. "What did I do?"

I looked around, wondering who would dare yell at my son like that before I noticed Kakuzu storming out of the base with paint on his face.

I'm okay with Kakuzu yelling at him simply because Kakuzu intimidates the fuck out of out me. Like, more so than anyone else in the world.

However, that isn't why I didn't glare at him for yelling at Tiburon.

The paint was the reason.

Itachi and I both sighed in unison.

Kakuzu marched over to us and glared down at me. "Where is he? I'm going to kill him."

"That doesn't give me much incentive to tell you where he is, Kakuzu." I stated.

Kakuzu continued to glare. "He has chakra." He went quiet for a minute before looking towards the lake. "Brat, you get your ass over here."

Tiburon poked his head out from behind Kisame. He paled at the paint on Kakuzu's face. "Uh…"

"Now." Kakuzu growled, pointing to the ground at his feet.

Tiburon hid behind Kisame again.

"Do _not_ make me come after you, boy." Kakuzu snarled.

"I didn't mean for you to get hit, Kuzu-oji!" Tiburon pouted. "It was for Hidan-oji. I didn't think you'd go into his room."

Hidan glared. "You little shit!"

"Tiburon." Itachi sighed. He looked at Kakuzu. "Forgive him, Kakuzu. I will compensate for the cleaning supplies needed to clean up the mess."

Kakuzu looked at Itachi. "That's not the issue here. It's the damn traps all over the freaking base."

"It keeps you on your toes." Kisame grinned, picking Tiburon up so he could hold him. "And you have to admit he's really good at them."

"I'll talk to him about it." Itachi excused.

"Do." Kakuzu growled. "If I get caught in one more trap, that boy will be hanging from the ceiling by his ankles for a week. I don't care how pissed off the two of you get."

I sighed and got to my feet. "Come on Kakuzu. I'll help you get the shit off your clothes and I'll clean up the mess."

Kakuzu threw a glare at Tiburon before turning around and stalking towards the base, slowing a bit to allow me to keep up with him.

* * *

><p>"I fucking hate paint." I growled under my breath, scrubbing at my hands which were covered in dry paint. "Where the hell did Tibby find paint anyways?"<p>

"Kakuzu keeps a small stash of it in one of the utility closets for when you and Deidara fight each other. You two tend to forget that some things are breakable and cause a great deal of damage. How neither of you have concussions nor something of the like is a mystery to me." Itachi explained boredly, reading a book absently as he lounged on our bed.

I paused in scrubbing my hands and looked out of the bathroom to stare at my weasel. "And you know about this paint stash… how?"

"I stole some of the paint for him when I went to the village for supplies once." Itachi shrugged, glancing up at me. "And I know everything."

I rolled my eyes. "Smartass."

"It takes one to know one, Alice." He chuckled.

"I know." I sighed. "As amusing as I think Tiburon's little pranks are, I hate cleaning them up even more."

"Hn." Itachi grunted. "I intend on talking to him about them either before he goes to bed tonight or tomorrow at breakfast."

"I'd prefer you scold him at breakfast." I stated. "If you yell at him before he goes to sleep, he won't sleep because he'll be all upset about making you angry."

Itachi made a small noise of disapproval and closed his book. "I have no intention of yelling at him or scolding him. I simply plan to ask him to stop setting the traps in the base. I do not believe I have ever yelled at Tiburon, Alice."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, Itachi. I didn't mean you were actually going to yell at him. As sexy as you are when you yell, I know you'd never yell at Tiburon for something like this."

"I probably wouldn't yell at him for anything." Itachi stated.

I smiled. "That's because you're an adorable weasel."

A pressure appeared behind me and a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. "Hn." Itachi kissed the base of my neck, suddenly in the bathroom because of his ninja speed. "I love you."

"I love you too Itachi." I told him, leaning back into him so I could kiss his cheek. "Go relax. I still have to clean my left hand."

"I sense Tiburon approaching." He told me as he walked to the bed. "Are you opposed to me talking to him now in private rather than in the company of others?"

I shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Tiburon, come in here." Itachi ordered, looking in the direction of the doorway to our room.

Tiburon appeared in the doorway a few seconds later and raised his eyebrow curiously, looking just like his daddy. "What Daddy?"

Itachi motioned for him to come in with his hand. "Come here and shut the door."

Tiburon obeyed, stepping into the room and closing the door. He walked closer to the bed, throwing a smile at me as I picked at the dried paint on my hands in the bathroom doorway. He stopped at the edge of the bed and looked up at Itachi. "What?"

My weasel patted the mattress beside his person and looked pointedly at Tiburon. "Sit."

Tiburon obeyed, pushing Sable's face away when she used his vulnerable position as a chance to lick the hell out of his face. He looked at Itachi when he managed to get situated, but his curious expression faltered slightly when he took in Itachi's stern gaze. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, you're not in trouble." I told him, melting at his cuteness.

Itachi shook his head, agreeing with me. "You are not in trouble, Tiburon."

"So what did you want then?" He asked.

"The traps need to stop." Itachi sighed. "It isn't that I do not appreciate your skill at making them, nor that you should stop permanently, but you need to quit setting them up for people in the base to fall prey to. Besides, your mother is sick of cleaning them up."

Tiburon glanced in my direction and a guilty look went on his face at the sight of the paint on my hands. "Okay. I'll stop Daddy."

"Good boy." Itachi nodded.

"Can I still make them outside and stuff?" Tibby wondered.

Itachi dipped his head. "Yes you may. Now off to bed. It's past your bedtime."

"Can I stay with you and Mommy?" He questioned quietly.

Itachi raised his eyebrow curiously. "Why?"

Tiburon looked down shyly. "Because you and mommy keep the scary dreams away."

"You can stay." I told him instantly, looking into his different colored eyes. "You're always allowed to stay in here with me and your dad, Tibby."

Itachi glanced at me, a hint of concern in his expression, before he looked at Tiburon fully. Tiburon had been having night terrors. They weren't as often as mine, simply because he wasn't as stressed as me all the time, but he had been sleeping with us and Kisame more and more often because of them. Itachi stroked Tiburon's hair gently before poking his forehead. "You are welcome to stay, Tiburon."

Tiburon frowned, rubbing his forehead before smiling playfully at his dad. "I'm gonna go put on my pajamas and get Jaws." He hopped off the bed in the next second and ran to the door. Once he was out of the room, he sprinted across the hallway, eager to get his stuffed toy and prepare for bed.

I turned away from the sink once he was gone, not caring about the left over paint on my hands anymore, and I walked to the bed. Itachi stood as I approached and he pulled me to his chest. He hugged me tightly and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"It will be alright Alice." Itachi whispered. He squeezed me softly. "He can stay as often as he needs to. He will be just fine."

"Jashin I hope so." I muttered, hugging him and mentally praying.

* * *

><p><em>Bleh... I hate being sick and having to go to work.<em>

**_Fun Fact: _**_An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain._

Answer: _Either Konan, Kisame, Itachi, or Pein. Konan: She gets to live with nine utterly sexy men. Kisame: Itachi is his partner... Itachi: I can stare at myself naked all day. Pein: He has a shitload of sexy men at his disposal and numerous bodies with awesome piercings. Hello jackpot._

**QotC: **_I hate running out of questions... How many of you write stories that aren't fanfiction? If you do, what's the main plot or your favorite original character? You don't have to give too much information if you don't want just in case you're paranoid like me about someone stealing your ideas and characters. It's happened to me before. For those of you who don't, how was your day?_

**W**ot**C:** _Happy - Feliz. Sad - Triste_

_I gotta go get ready for work so I'll talk to you lovelies later. And thank you all so much for the reviews and support. I cannot thank you enough._

_Bye._


	14. Chapter 14

_*sniff* *sniff*_

_Is that a plot line I smell?_

_Le gasp._

_But no, really. It begins._

_Enjoy lovelies. I do not own Naruto._

* * *

><p>They say that when a married couple gets out of the "honeymoon phase" their relationship isn't as touchy-feely and basically the newness of the whole thing wears off and that's when the claws come out.<p>

I disagree.

You see, even after having a kid with Itachi, I still think he's the sexiest thing in the world and I have to fight with myself not to completely rape him in the middle of a crowded hallway.

Also, my claws have been out since day one of our relationship and even before it began. Itachi was declawed because he's a lot more docile than I am. Which, if you think it about it, is a good thing. If he was as temperamental and as stubborn as I am, we would be at each other's throats all the time.

However, as it is, we fight about once every year and most of the time it's about our stubbornness and my excessive temper.

But, back to the issue at hand:

Itachi's sexiness.

He sat on the couch across the room from me, reading some scroll Pein gave him with a look of concentration on his breathtakingly handsome face. Kakuzu sat at the other end of the couch Itachi was on, a number of different scrolls on the cushion between them. Kisame lounged on the other couch beside them, taking up all the cushions, and I was sitting on a different couch with Hidan's feet in my lap. Sable was sleeping beside Kisame on the floor.

"Tachi, what are you doing?" I wondered.

He looked away from his scroll to raise his eyebrow at me. "Reading."

"What are you reading?" I asked, rolling my eyes at his answer.

"Scrolls on a particular jutsu Pein wanted me to dissect for him." Itachi shrugged. "Why?"

I shrugged as well. "No reason."

"Other than the fact she's been fucking staring at you for the past fifteen minutes like some creepy fucking bitch." Hidan grunted, shifting in his spot to get more comfortable.

"I'm allowed to stare at my husband if I want, Hidan." I said indifferently. "Besides, he's exceedingly sexy."

Itachi rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the scroll in his hands, amusement playing on his face.

"Where's Tibby?" Kisame wondered.

"With Sasori and Deidara. He and Sanaa are training." Kakuzu grunted.

Kisame lifted his head off the couch slightly. "So where's Kathryn?"

"Shower." I yawned. I adjusted my position on the couch so I was lying on it; my feet aimed towards Hidan's head while his were near mine. He glanced at me for moving around but shrugged and returned to dozing off, unbothered by my change of position. "I'm bored."

"So take a nap." Kakuzu suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "I can barely sleep at a proper time, Kakuzu. Let alone randomly in the middle of the day."

"Then quit your bitching." Hidan snapped. "I'm trying to fucking sleep, shut the hell up."

I kicked him. "I'll shove you off the couch."

Hidan wrapped his arms around my legs. "If I go, you're fucking coming with me."

"If you piss me off, I'll sick Kisame on you." I threatened.

"He's trying to fucking sleep too!" Hidan pointed out.

I shrugged. "He'd get up to kill you if I asked him to. Why? Because he loves me."

Kisame snickered.

"And if, because I'm a nice person, I didn't want to make him get up, I'd just tell Itachi to beat you." I shrugged. "And you know he would."

Hidan glanced over his shoulder at Itachi who was rolling up his scroll, staring at Hidan all the while with the hint of a smirk on his face. "Fucking Uchiha bastard."

"Don't hate him because he's beautiful." I smiled. Itachi sighed and Kisame's snickers renewed themselves.

"You're such a fucking weirdo." Hidan deadpanned.

I smirked. "You're jealous."

"Of what?" He demanded.

I patted his leg. "Jashin loves me more."

"Bullshit!" He protested.

"Awe, you poor baby." I pouted. "Not loved by your god. The only one who loves you is Kakuzu."

"Fuck that." Kakuzu snapped.

"By all means Kakuzu." I smirked, gesturing at Hidan. "What you two do in your spare time is none of my business."

His eyes narrowed at me while Hidan swore under his breath. "I will kill you."

I smiled at him. "Shutting up."

"Wise move." He growled. "Uchiha, take your woman elsewhere if she's going to be picking fights."

Itachi glanced at me as he grabbed a new scroll from the pile and replaced the one he finished reading. "Alice, behave please."

"If the options are behaving and staying here or misbehaving and getting you to myself, I think I choose option number two." I stated tickling Hidan's feet.

"Don't fucking touch my feet!" Hidan barked, jerking his feet away from me.

I stared at him. "I forgot you were ticklish."

He glared. "I'm not fucking ticklish."

I poked the bottom of his feet and he twitched violently. Slowly, a grin spread across my face at the same time a challenging, daring expression broke out on Hidan's.

"Awe, Hidan's feet are ticklish!" I cooed, grabbing his legs and pulling them closer. "It's so cute. Look at him and his foul mouth being all ticklish!"

Hidan started kicking his feet. "Don't you fucking dare, Ice Bitch!"

I rolled on top of his legs and tickled his feet, smiling when he started laughing and swearing at me at the same time. "Look at how cute he is."

"Knock it off!" He laughed, pushing me. "Bitch!"

I twisted slightly so I continue tickling his feet and I began prodding his stomach, my smile widening when I found the ticklish spots on his sides. "Awe, Hidan you look so cute right now."

He really did. He was grinning hugely and was laughing because of my assault. He looked so happy and carefree.

"I'm not fucking cute!" He snapped between laughs, shaking beneath me. "Get the hell off of me!"

I shook my head. "Nope. I want to cherish this moment." I whipped out my phone and took a picture, smiling when I got an excellent picture of Hidan grinning his head off while glaring at me at the same time.

Satisfied, I pocketed my phone and rolled off Hidan and the couch. I got to my feet and looked down at Hidan sprawled out on the couch. "That was fun."

"Delete that fucking picture." He growled.

I shook my head. "No. I don't think I will."

He sat up. "Get rid of it, Ice Bitch or I'll fucking do it."

I put my phone in my bra after pulling it out of my pocket. "I dare you to try it." I challenged, narrowing my eyes at him.

Hidan shot up from the couch and I yelped. Running away from the enraged Jashinist, I forgot that my protectors were in the same room as I was and I ran out. Hidan chased after me, swearing when I threw in turns that he didn't expect.

However, because he is a ninja, and I'm a woman who lacks chakra, he caught me fairly quickly.

Hidan tackled me just as I reached the indoor training grounds and he pinned me beneath his person. He then started trying to find my phone while also trying to prevent me from fighting him off.

"Hidan!" I yelped. "Let me go!"

"Fuck no." He growled. "You're going to delete that fucking picture. This is karma for your shitty tickling."

I laughed and punched his chest, only to have him pin my arm to the floor above my head in the next instant. "You loved it."

He poked my stomach. "No I did not. If you weren't such a strange fucking bitch, I'd get you back by tickling you."

"Well, I'm not ticklish so you can't." I smirked, sticking my tongue out at him.

"I'll just delete all the shit on your fucking phone then." He shrugged, situating himself on my legs so he could try and reach down/up my shirt without me kneeing him in the balls.

"No!" I whined, kicking my feet and making him shake and wobble. I ripped my hands from his grasp and started smacking him to distract him.

Distracted by my smacking, he brought his hands up to smack my hands away when I would almost hit him. Eventually, we just had a hand smacking war when he abandoned his perverse quest for my phone.

"What the hell are you two doing, un?"

Hidan and I paused in our battle to look towards the familiar voice of our favorite explosive, blond terrorist. "Nothing." We said in unison.

"That doesn't look like nothing." Sasori stated, standing beside Deidara.

Hidan and I looked at each other before looking back at the artists. "She/He started it."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Well knock it off."

"Get him off me then." I pouted.

Deidara chuckled and shoved Hidan off me before pulling me to my feet. "There, un."

I hugged him. "Thanks Dei."

He patted my head. "No problem, yeah."

Hidan dusted himself off as he got to his feet and glared at Deidara. "You fucking girly piece of shit."

Sasori grabbed the back of Deidara's shirt when said bomber tried to lunge at Hidan. "Easy Brat." The puppet master turned his gaze to me, still restraining an infuriated Deidara, and raised his eyebrow. "So why did you and Hidan come charging in here randomly?"

"I was tickling him and he wanted revenge." I shrugged. "Where are Tibby and Sanaa?"

Sasori gestured with the thumb of his free hand over his shoulder. "Over there."

I looked around him to see Tiburon and Sanaa fighting each other. "Why aren't you watching them?"

"They're doing it for fun." Sasori explained. "Their training ended ten minutes ago. Besides, I _was_ watching them but when you and Hidan came running in and started smacking each other, I was curious of what the reason behind it was."

"She's a fucking bitch, that's why." Hidan snapped. He yelped as a blue hand walloped the back of his head. "OUCH!"

"Don't be mean to Alice." Kisame scolded.

I smiled at my shark. "You're so sweet." He grinned at me and rumpled my hair, allowing me to latch onto him.

"**Am I the only who is extremely amused by watching two brats fight each other?** I think it's cute. **I think it's hilarious.**" Zetsu said as he began entering the room through the floor.

I smiled at him when just his head was out of the ground. "Hey Zetsu. What's up?"

He looked at me. "Hello Alice. **Sup kid?** Pein's holding a meeting. **So get the brats, Deidara go get Kathryn.** We're assembling in the meeting hall as usual. **We already told Kakuzu and Itachi. They're already there.**"

"Alright Zetsu." Sasori nodded. "Thank you. We'll head there now."

"**Make it quick.**" The plant man of my heart growled as he disappeared back into the ground.

"Tibby, Sanaa." I called. "Come here you two. We have a meeting."

Tiburon and Sanaa paused in their little battle to look around at me. They said something to each other before they raced towards me, their chakra propelling them. I saw a glint in Tiburon's eyes. "Tibby, if you run into me while running that fast I'm going to be pissed!"

The glint didn't leave.

So, being the wonderful person I am, I quickly hid behind Hidan's person until I was out of Tiburon's line of fire just in case he decided not to listen to me. He didn't, because he ran straight into Hidan. Luckily, I foresaw this and I ran out of the way to avoid being crushed.

"You little shit!" Hidan grunted from the floor. Tiburon was on top of him, giggling his head off.

"Shut up Hidan, you love it." I smirked. "Come on Tibby."

Tiburon made to get up but yelped in shock when Kisame scooped him off of Hidan and tossed him into the air. Tiburon giggled madly when Kisame caught him skillfully and placed him on his shoulders.

"Let's go kiddo." Kisame stated.

Sanaa, who had run to her father, was likewise sitting on his shoulders, playing with his hair.

I smiled at the kids and my idiots before turning around and heading for the meeting room, knowing everyone else would follow.

When I made it, Kathryn was, surprisingly, already sitting in her usual chair using her wet hair to hit Itachi and Kakuzu with water. Both of them were blatantly ignoring her while she grinned her head off. Pein and Konan sat at the head of the table, talking to Zetsu.

"Kathryn, leave them alone." I scolded.

She beamed at me. "It's so funny to watch Itachi's eyebrow twitch though." She shut her mouth and looked away pointedly when I gave her a threatening look.

I rolled my eyes at her nonsense and walked over to my chair to Itachi's right and I sat beside him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder instantly and kissed my cheek. A moment later, Kisame joined us and dropped Tiburon in my lap as he took a seat to my right. Hidan took his seat beside Kakuzu who was on Itachi's left and Deidara sat on Hidan's other side and next to Kathryn.

Sanaa was placed in Kathryn's lap just as Sasori took a spot to Kathryn's left and Zetsu's right. The last seat, which was on my side of the table and to Kisame's right, was occupied by Sable.

"Alrighty Pein, what's up?" I asked.

Pein looked away from Zetsu to address me. "We have things to do, Alice."

"Us? Work?" I scoffed.

He rolled his eyes and entwined his fingers. "Sasori, Hidan, you two have a mission together."

Both of them raised their eyebrows, confused by their partner swap. "What?"

"Your mission takes you to Suna." Pein continued, holding up a scroll. "You were both requested and the details of your mission are in this scroll."

"Wait a fucking minute." Hidan barked, holding up a hand. He threw his thumb in Kakuzu's direction. "I don't go on missions without this fucktard."

Pein gave him a look since Hidan was directly across the table from him. "You do now."

Kakuzu glanced at Hidan. "It's fine, Hidan. Orders are orders."

Hidan shrugged. "What the fuck ever. You alright with this, puppet bitch?"

Sasori glanced at Hidan as he took the scroll from Pein. "As long as you don't make me wait, I have no problems."

Kakuzu scoffed.

"Kakuzu, you and Kisame have a mission together. Your destination is Kiri." Pein continued, satisfied that Sasori and Hidan weren't going to bitch anymore.

Kisame raised his eyebrow in confusion but accepted the new scroll Pein offered him without question. "What about Itachi?"

"Itachi and Deidara will be accompanying Alice and Kathryn on their mission." Pein explained. "The children will be going with them as well. That is the main focus of this meeting."

I leaned back in my seat, running my fingers over the gills on Kisame's arms because they were _awesome_. And it gave me an excuse to touch his muscles.

Not that I needed one.

I'm Alice. I don't _need_ excuses.

"Shoot." I stated, looking at Pein.

"You will be accompanying two Shinobi from Konoha to Kumo to commune with the Raikage and be taking some information about Ame forces for me. Alice, I need you to keep a hold on your temper for this as it is very important." Pein explained.

I waved him off. "I have no problems with the Raikage. You don't need to worry about that. So, I'm taking ninja things to the Raikage for you and I'm going to be attending meetings for you along with two ambassador type Shinobi from Konoha. Is that the gist?"

Pein nodded. "Itachi is your escort and your adviser in this, since you are my ambassador. Deidara is also going for your protection and because Akatsuki work in pairs. Because Deidara is going, Kathryn and the kids are going with you." He glanced to his left. "And Sable."

Sable's tail wagged at the sound of her name.

"Alright." I nodded. "When do we leave?"

Pein sighed and leaned back in his chair. "All of you should be gone within two days at the latest."

"How long do I stay?" I asked.

"About three days at most." Konan told me with a shrug. "It shouldn't take too long and one day will be essentially for you to rest after traveling. However, I'm sure the Raikage will forgo the day of rest if you want to get things over with."

I stroked Tiburon's hair absently. "Who are the Shinobi from Konoha?"

"I am not sure." Pein shrugged. "They will be meeting you at the Valley of the End."

I smirked. "Nice choice."

Pein dipped his head. "You have time to prepare for your departure. All of you will be gone within two days. This meeting is dismissed."

* * *

><p><em>And the plot thickens...<em>

_**Fun Fact: **One of my best friends is rooming with me up at Ohio State:)_

Answer: _I've actually been thinking about this answer for more than a minute or two. I have a lot of stories (around 40 different stories all in different stages on my laptop). A few of them are completed. And if there's a story, there has to be some characters. And I have_ **a**** lot** _of characters. I hav__e an extensive list of them, and it fills about half of a 150 page notebook. And that's just a list of names. It doesn't include details about them and all of their back-stories (because every character I have has a background and a story behind them, even if it's not all that exciting. No one is just a name). I have four separate documents on my laptop of that. So, picking my favorite has always been rather difficult. However, I narrowed it down to three. Two are from the same story while one is from a different one and all three of them are male and none of them are main characters. Atreyu, Kamisori, and Skyler. Atreyu and Kamisori come from my first and longest original story that actually has more than one part. It's a story in a different world of my creation that is centered around a military organization and the soldiers, or agents as they are called, in it. Skyler comes from another story and is the older brother of the main character. I've actually used them in Snatched. Skyler and Kahira. Atreyu is an emotionless (and I mean no emotion), cursed human who has lived over a thousand years and he's a smartass. Kamisori is an assassin with an utterly cheerful attitude and optimistic mindset though he can be murderous when angered. Skyler is just batshit insane which is why I love him. Btw, Kamisori means razor in Japanese. And don't take my names. I'll kill you. I put a lot of time into finding the right names for my characters._

**QotC: **_Favorite genre of literature?_

_**WotC: **libro(s) - book(s) en Español. Me encantan los libros  
><em>

_But yeah... I'm rather passionate about my characters. My ideas might not be the most fantastic, but I take pride in my characters. I love them and I will end someone if they take them. Unless, it's like Alice because other than her personality and appearance, she's completely different in her original story which, by the way, is the same story as Skyler. I love him and his craziness._

_Getting off that topic because I'd rather the story have more content than my author's notes. If you wanna talk more/listen (read...?) to me rant, feel free to message me on here, dA, or my email. I'd love to chat with you all further about this stuff since it's a major interest of mine._

_For now though, I must go._

_See ya:)_


	15. Chapter 15

_We have... almost 300 reviews in 15 chapters._

_That is nothing short of impressive and it makes me smile._

_And you all are the reason behind that. So thank you:)_

_Enjoy. I do not own Naruto_

* * *

><p>"Wow! Look at the pretty waterfall!" Sanaa gasped.<p>

"Look at those huge rock guys!" Tiburon gawked, pointing at the rock statues of Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha. "Who are they mommy?"

I looked up at the impressive sight, internally having a fangirl moment about being at this particular location. "The guy on the right is Hashirama Senju, the first Hokage and the guy to the left is Madara Uchiha, a man who helped found Konoha and the once powerful leader of the Uchiha clan."

Tiburon gaped up at their statues. "So I'm related to the guy with poofy hair?"

I snorted. "Distantly, love."

"Cool." He whispered. "Daddy, did you know that guy?"

Itachi glanced at me. "Not personally, Tiburon. But he was a very important man in Uchiha history."

Kathryn elbowed me. "This brings back memories."

"Memories, un?" Deidara asked, holding Sanaa's hands and swinging her in circles. "You've never been here, yeah."

I grinned. "No, but we did spend many hours watching our most favorite duck-butt and Kyūbi container fight each other here. Ah, I miss those days of sitting on the couch back at my place with Bee and Lulu and cheering Sasuke on."

"Whatever. I cheered for Naruto with Brett." Kathryn scoffed. "Sasuke was a stupid emo kid then."

"But he was sexy. Thus, me and Louis cheered for him, though secretly we were cheering for Naruto to win and take him back to Konoha." I laughed.

Itachi shook his head. "You two are strange."

Kathryn hugged me and I hugged her in return. "Yep!" We said together.

"What are we doing here Mommy?" Tiburon wondered, tugging on my shirt.

"We're waiting for the Konoha Shinobi to get here so we can head on to Kumo." I told him, a glint of something catching my eye. I glanced in its direction to see two dark shapes heading in our direction from within the trees. "I think I see them coming."

"Hn." Itachi confirmed.

"Who is it?" Kathryn wondered when Deidara paused in spinning Sanaa to look.

"Naru!" Sanaa cried happily, waving madly in his direction.

Tiburon beamed. "Sasuke!"

I smirked at the hideous orange Naruto persistently wore beneath his Jōnin flak jacket. "Well that's ironic."

"Do you think they'd do a reenactment for us?" Kathryn wondered, prodding my shoulder.

"I wish." I snickered. "Go get Sasuke, Tibby! Go get Naruto, Sanaa." My smiled widened. "Get em Sable!"

Sable threw her head back and howled before shooting off in the direction Naruto and Sasuke were approaching from with Sanaa and Tiburon running after her.

Sasuke wisely dodged Sable but Naruto was brought to the ground. She then proceeded to lick the hell out of his face long enough for Sanaa to reach him and jump on him. He tried to fight off the affection, laughing and grinning in the way only he can.

Naruto is like a sun in and of himself. He just makes everyone around him smile.

I whistled. "Sable. Come on girl."

Sable barked and jumped off of Naruto before running back to me, she skidded to a stop at my side before darting to greet Sasuke who was being hugged to death by Tiburon.

"So, why were you guys picked?" Kathryn asked Naruto as he jogged over with Sanaa on his shoulders. Said Kyūbi container handed Deidara Sanaa when he reached us and he turned to grin at Kathryn.

"I'm going to see Bee. Sasuke was chosen because he gets along best with Alice." Naruto explained, returning Kathryn's hug when she glomped him. "Though, Kakashi-sensei was going to come, but he had another mission come up."

I scoffed. "Whatever. Sasuke and I hate each other." I looked at said Uchiha. "Right?"

Sasuke nodded, putting on a serious face. "Of course."

Tiburon looked horrified.

"What?" He demanded.

Itachi stroked Tiburon's hair. "They're teasing, Tiburon. Your mother and Sasuke love each other."

"That's what you think." Sasuke and I said in unison, turning to look at my weasel.

"Right, well, getting back to the matter at hand, un." Deidara began. "Don't we have somewhere to be, yeah?"

"I wanna ride on one of Daddy's birds, yeah!" Sanaa whined, jumping up and down. She grabbed Deidara's hand and began tugging on it as she bounced. "Please Daddy? Pretty please? Please! Can we ride on your pretty birdy yeah?"

Deidara sighed, a smile coming to his face at the sight of his daughter's excitement. "It's up to Alice, baby hmm."

"Do you remember what happened last time we tried to put Sable on one of your birds?" I asked.

"She tried to eat the clouds and the birds we passed. And she was howling at everything." Kathryn snickered. "It was fun."

"Besides the time she tried to jump off." I deadpanned.

"And her howling can get rather irritating." Itachi added.

I glared at him. "Don't talk about her like that. She has the voice of an angel." I hugged Sable who was sitting beside me, looking around. When I hugged her, her tail started wagging and she licked my face.

"My apologies." He sighed.

I patted his chest, telling him it was okay. "It will be faster I suppose..." I sighed when I saw Sanaa's pleading face. "I don't care. Deidara, make a few birds."

"Yay!" Sanaa cheered. "Make art Daddy, yeah!"

Deidara grinned at Sanaa as he slipped his hands into the clay pouches at his waist. "That's right, Sanaa. My art is a bang, un!"

By the way, if you're wondering…

Sanaa has hand-mouths too.

However, they haven't awakened yet and aren't useable. Deidara thinks they'll be active when she hits puberty or sometime near there. She doesn't have the self-destruct chest mouth though, which is a good thing.

Anyways, Sanaa basically cheered her father on while he made his birds; owls because he wanted to make Kathryn happy. He made three of them and when they were a good size, he looked around. "Alright, who is riding with whom, un?"

"I'm with Dei!" Kathryn announced. "Sanaa, wanna ride with me and your daddy?"

Sanaa agreed enthusiastically and hugged her father's leg.

"Itachi and I will ride with Sable." I shrugged. "Sasuke, you got Tibby. Alright?"

Sasuke nodded, approaching his bird with Naruto at his side and Tiburon in his arms. They jumped on the bird and situated themselves as Itachi put me on the bird before jumping down and getting Sable.

She growled at him when he picked her up until I patted the bird and whistled for her. She then got excited and allowed him to jump on the bird with her in his arms. He set her down and she carefully walked to my side to lie down beside my spot. Itachi took a place beside us and he wrapped his arms around me while getting a good hold on Sable's collar.

The instant we were all situated, most of us normal people sitting while Deidara stood on his bird with Sanaa on his shoulders and Kathryn clinging to his side, Deidara brought the birds to life and we began flying towards Kumo.

Our flight was rather uneventful. Things went just fine and Sable didn't try to go Kamikaze on anything. We reached Kumo in good time and when we did, Deidara got the all clear by Motoi to blow up his birds in the sky. We all stood there and watched the display.

"Oh! Pretty colors!" Tiburon said in awe.

Deidara patted his head in approval.

"If you will follow me, I will lead you to Raikage-sama." Motoi told us.

I patted my leg and Sable followed me, Tiburon riding on her back because she's extremely tolerant and a good girl. Itachi took my hand as we walked and stood protectively by my side because of the different setting. Sasuke walked behind me with Naruto and Kathryn walked on Sable's other side and next to me while Deidara took a page out of Itachi's book.

Sanaa trotted between her parents, holding both of their hands and looking as happy as a clam.

We traveled through Kumo at a steady pace until we finally reached the Raikage's office. Bee was waiting for us outside.

"Octopops!" Naruto greeted with a wave.

Bee pointed at Naruto and tilted his body in greeting. "What up fool?"

"Hello Bee." I smiled as we reached him. I picked Tiburon up off of Sable and set him on the ground. He jogged forward and hugged Bee while Sanaa released her parents to join him.

"Hi Bee!" They cheered.

Killer Bee grinned down at them and patted their heads. "Hey there kids, let's go inside before my brother busts some lids!"

All complete with hand motions and swaying.

Tiburon raised his eyebrow but shrugged it off and followed Bee as he turned around and led us into the massive building.

When we finally reached the Raikage's office, he was sitting at a circular table; the seat to his right was left open for Bee. I took the seat offered to me by Motoi that was directly across the table from the Raikage and my idiots sat down around me.

"We'll get the formalities over with quickly so you guys can take time to rest from your travels." Black Kage announced, looking at me. "Plus, I would like to give you time to enjoy Kumo since it has been a while since your last visit."

I shrugged. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me. We've got three days or so to do this. We can skip the formalities and cover as much as you'd like today."

"Well then…" Black Kage began. "Let's get started."

* * *

><p>Tiburon sighed and flopped on the second bed when we reached our hotel room. We managed to get three of them beside each other and there was a door connecting our rooms. They were your generic hotel rooms, though mine did have a mini kitchen.<p>

It was night time now, as it had been getting dark when we arrived. The meeting didn't last that long, but it wasn't exactly an Akatsuki meeting.

"Meetings are so boring. Do I _have_ to go with you guys tomorrow?" Tiburon whined, rolling back and forth on his bed while Sable investigated the room.

I dropped Jaws on his face. "We'll see. I seriously doubt Kathryn will be able to sit through a meeting either so you might be able to stay here with her, Sanaa, and Deidara if they do."

Tiburon hugged Jaws instantly and rolled to his side, cuddling into his favorite toy. "Why didn't Kisa come with us? I don't like going places without Kisa."

I stroked Tiburon's hair and bent over slightly to kiss his cheek. "I don't like going anywhere without him either, Tibby. And your dad is having mini panic attacks without him."

Itachi threw me a look, even though he knew it was true. Itachi didn't go anywhere without Kisame. They were partners and best friends for a reason. Kisame was Itachi's comfort blanket and Itachi was Kisame's.

Being without Kisame made Itachi feel vulnerable and it put him on the edge. He had never let me and Tiburon out of his sight since Kisame wasn't with us and he was reluctant to let Tiburon go anywhere without him.

"So why didn't he come?" Tibby asked, looking between me and his father.

"He had a mission with Kakuzu." Itachi explained.

Tiburon made a confused face. "But why? Kuzu-oji and Hidan-oji are supposed to do stuff together and you and Kisa are supposed to stay together. Why did things get so weird?"

I smiled at his cuteness and rumpled his hair. "Pein's orders are orders Tibby. It'll be okay. Your daddy, Sasuke, Naruto, and Deidara are here. And so am I. We won't let anything happen to you."

Tiburon smiled. "I know that mommy. I just miss Kisa." He sat up and looked at me. "You forgot Sable, mommy."

I gasped in mock horror. "How could I forget Sable?"

Sable looked around at her name and she wagged her tail excitedly.

"Come here Sable! I'm sorry!" I called, opening my arms for her.

She darted around and sprinted to me, knocking me off my feet and onto Tiburon's bed. She pinned me to the mattress and started smothering me with kisses.

"Gah." I grunted under her assault. "Too much love!" I shook my head, trying to avoid her tongue. "Sable! Can't breathe!"

Tiburon merely laughed at my expense.

"Sable." Itachi called. "Down girl."

Sable looked away from me to look at Itachi. When he patted his leg, she jumped off of me and hopped over to him. She then jumped up and put her front paws on his shoulders so she could lick his face.

Itachi pet her head for a moment before pushing her off his person and scratching behind her ear. "Good girl."

"Right. So…" I began sitting up and wiping my face on my shirt. "What to do…?"

"It's past Tiburon's bedtime." Itachi told me.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked the time. "Yeah it is. By an hour." I glanced around at Tiburon who was yawning hugely. "Time for bed, baby."

He huffed. "But I'm not sleepy."

I watched him yawn again with a smirk. "Yeah. Sure you're not." Shaking my head at his pout, I got up and went to his bag so I could get his pajamas. I held them out to him. "Here you go Tibby. Go change then you can brush your teeth and get some sleep."

"What are you and daddy gonna do?" Tiburon wondered, sliding off the bed so he could get his PJs.

"We will probably go to bed as well, Tiburon. We have to get up decently early tomorrow to go to a meeting." Itachi explained.

I pouted. "Aw… I wanted to clean."

Itachi gave me a look, knowing clean meant something totally different.

I snorted and waved him off, heading to the bathroom. "I was joking. Chill out Weasel."

Tiburon changed into his pajamas which were black and had the Akatsuki cloud on them in random spots on his pants. His shirt was black and it had one cloud in the middle on the front of the shirt while the back had a huge Uchiha fan on it.

Two weeks of threatening the owner of a clothing store and I got Tibby a bunch of clothes that represented the organization and the Uchiha clan. Though, some of his shirts he just stole from Sasuke's apartment which contained all of the clothes from Sasuke's younger years.

I went into the bathroom and prepared Tiburon's toothbrush before I dragged in a chair from the kitchen and Tiburon used that so he could reach the sink. I waited for him to finish and the moment he did, Itachi came in.

"Good boy, Tiburon." Itachi praised. "Now go and get comfortable. Your mother and I will be in there in a moment."

Tiburon nodded and hopped down from the chair. "Kay."

Itachi pushed the chair out of his way before grabbing his toothbrush when I offered it to him. He prepared it himself after I did and we brushed our teeth, using the two sinks in the bathroom.

Itachi brushed his teeth like Tiburon. They both were very slow and they took their time while brushing. I however, brushed like I only had seconds to live. Itachi always made fun of me for it.

Itachi watched me brush my teeth with a smirk as I hurried through my routine brush. When I finished, well before him, I looked at him and saw a smirk on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him.

He held my gaze as he finished brushing his teeth. Once he put his toothbrush back, he stared at me. "Sasuke used to brush his teeth just like that."

I shrugged. "Only awesome people do it."

"Or those with little patience." He stated.

I stuck my tongue out at him again, but he took advantage of me, and kissed me. He pushed me into the counter and threaded the fingers of one of his hands through my hair while the other braced his person against the counter.

I returned the gesture, smirking my head off at his methods.

He pulled away after a moment. "What is the smirk for?"

"I love you." I shrugged. "Come on. Let's go get some sleep."

"Hn." He grunted, backing off a little so I could lead the way. Before I reached the door, he kissed me again, whispering an "I love you too" in my ear.

Smiling, I led the way to the main room and I walked to Tiburon's bed. He was lying on the mattress, hugging Jaws. Sable was lying beside him, her head resting on his stomach. He smiled at me when I approached him and he turned his face away from his stuffed toy to give me a good night kiss before doing the same to Itachi.

"Good night baby." I told him, stroking his hair. "I love you."

He smiled. "I love you too Mommy. I love you Daddy."

"And I love you Tiburon." Itachi said gently. He kissed the top of Tiburon's head once more before heading to the bed and getting comfortable. I shut off the lights, pet Sable once, and then climbed into bed beside my weasel.

He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his chest, ready to sleep.

Soon enough, all of us were out.

Though, it didn't last as long as I would have liked.

A wet tongue sliding along my face was what woke me. I jerked in my sleep and looked around to see Sable partially on my bed, her head hovering inches from mine. Her ears were flat and her tail started wagging slowly when she saw I was awake. A quiet whimpering noise reverberated through the room.

"What's wrong Sable?" I asked.

Her tail stopped wagging and she looked around.

It was at that second that I realized the whimpering wasn't coming from Sable.

Tiburon was lying in his bed, clutching his shark and shaking violently in his sleep. He was whimpering under his breath and whispering things.

All fatigue disappeared and I carefully rolled away from Itachi on the mattress, gently nudging Sable away so I could get up. She backed off and sat by the side of the bed, watching me get up.

I tiptoed to Tiburon's bed and leaned closer to him. I gently grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it softly. "Tibby." I whispered. "Wake up baby."

As expected, he didn't wake. He just continued to tremble, whimper, and mutter in his sleep.

I kissed his cheek, pushing away the sadness in my chest. From my close proximity, I was able to make out what he was saying.

"Mommy…" He muttered. He then repeated it, his voice only getting more desperate. Hearing him say my name in such a scared voice broke my heart.

Maternal drive kicking in, I sat on the edge of his bed and picked him up. I positioned his head so it rested on my shoulder and I hugged him tightly with one hand while my other hand rubbed his back soothingly.

His trembling slowed and his whimpers faded away as I held him. He continued whispering my name, but even that dimmed. I continued to hold him, rocking him back and forth while caressing his back and running my fingers through his hair.

Jaws was left on the mattress, forgotten as Tiburon instinctively wrapped his arms around my neck. He tightened his grip on me as his dream subsided and his muttering stopped. A few seconds later, his eyes cracked open slightly.

His fearful and confused expression didn't fade as his different colored orbs stared ahead blankly, not seeing anything because of how tired he was. "Mommy?"

I sighed and nodded a bit, kissing the top of his head. "Yeah baby. Mommy's here. You're safe. Mommy's got you."

He sighed tiredly with relief before closing his eyes and allowing his terrified expression to relax. "Bad dream."

"I know." I whispered. "Go to sleep, Tibby. I'll keep the bad dreams away. You're safe with me, baby."

He nodded slightly and sleep quickly overtook him. I held him closely for a while longer before standing up with him. I grabbed Jaws as an afterthought and carried my son and his toy over to my bed. I placed Tiburon on the bed beside Itachi, still allowing his arms to be wrapped around my neck, before climbing in after him.

I pulled Tiburon back to me and held onto him securely. I kissed his head and set Jaws down above our heads. Sable jumped on the bed at my feet and I looked down to make sure she wasn't going to lie on Itachi's legs.

Satisfied she wasn't going to disturb Itachi, I turned my attention back to Tiburon. A flash of red caught my eye and I looked in its direction to see two Sharingan orbs staring at me in the darkness.

Itachi kissed my forehead before wrapping his arms around me and Tiburon without hesitation. "I'm sorry Alice." I learned the next morning that Itachi had woken up when I got off the bed and he had been watching me the entire time just in case I needed his help.

I shook my head. "Don't be." I kissed him gently before kissing the top of Tiburon's head. I hugged my son and snuggled into my husband, willing this to just be a bad dream.

But I'm not that lucky.

* * *

><p><em>So I busted my hand open this morning...<em>

_It looks like it's broken, but it's not. :/_

_It does hurt like a motherfucker though._

**_Fun Fact: _**_Actor Mark Wahlberg has a third nipple._

Answer: _I prefer Fantasy, steampunk, all of that jazz. I will read pretty much everything, but with fantasy, just about anything can happen. Writers can say fuck you to laws of physics and shit and just do whatever they want._

**QotC: **_What was the first anime you ever watched/read? You guys can thank_ Quiet Harmony-chan_ for this question:)_

**WotC:** _Hermano - brother. Hermana - Sister. :)_

_Alrighty... time to kill some theories and shoot down some dreams: No, they're not going back to Ohio. I knew some of you were going to think that. Also, no, Kathryn is not going to die. I promise. When I first started writing this story, I did indeed have them going back to Ohio, but adding in Brett and Louis was too many OCs for me so I ruled it out. Maybe I'll do a spin off later, just for the hell of it when boredom tries to kill me.  
><em>


	16. Chapter 16

_Here is chapter 16, lovelies._

_So far, it is half the length of the original story CYK._

_And the difference in reviews is 33._

_In short, you all are beyond amazing._

_So enjoy if you can._

* * *

><p>My eye twitched as another sigh sounded from Kathryn.<p>

We were in a meeting in the Raikage's office. It was our third meeting and we were almost done. But, as expected, Kathryn, Tiburon, Sanaa, Deidara, Naruto, and Killer Bee were losing their patience. Sasuke, Itachi, the Raikage, and I were doing what was required of us while trying desperately to ignore the impatient habits of the idiots in the room.

Naruto and Bee were flicking a paper ball back and forth to each other, trying to score on the other. Sanaa and Tiburon were watching them and giggling at their reactions. Kathryn was moving around in her seat, trying to get comfortable and find something to occupy her time. Most of that was spent by styling Sanaa's hair and either quietly squealing about how cute she was or giggling about the goofy style.

Deidara was watching Kathryn and helping her mess with Sanaa's hair. He would snort or chuckle when the style was funny and be loudly glomped by Kathryn when it was cute. He was half watching Naruto and Bee and he would whisper playful insults at them when they would miss.

A series of giggles interrupted Black Kage before Bee swore under his breath when Naruto scored on him. His eyebrow twitched and he cracked the table under his clenched hand.

"I've about had it." He growled.

"That makes two of us." I stated, glancing at him. "Why don't we continue this and send the children outside?"

He nodded. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Itachi?" I wondered, glancing at him.

Itachi, who was more reluctant to let Tiburon out of his sight than I was surprisingly, nodded with a sigh. "I am alright with it."

"Kathryn, Deidara, Naruto. Take the kids and Sable and go run off some energy outside or something. You're annoying the hell out of us when we're trying to work and I'm seconds away from killing all of you." I announced.

"Bee." Black Kage grunted. "You go too."

Bee shrugged and said he would go, complete with a rap and dance moves. Kathryn whooped loudly with Naruto and they both jumped up and darted to the door. Deidara walked over, grabbing Tiburon from me, before trailing after the more enthusiastic kids.

"Deidara, watch him please." I stated. "I will kill all of you if something happens to my kids. I mean it too."

"I will also punish you if something happens to Tiburon or Sanaa." Itachi added.

"Sable, stay with Tibby." I commanded gently, petting Sable's head. She was lying by my feet and at being addressed she got up, licked my hand, and trailed after Deidara, being sure to stay right beside Tiburon.

I rolled my eyes once they were gone and I looked around to address the Raikage. "Alright. Let's get this over with."

**First Person Kathryn!**

"Thank Pein Alice let us out of there." I sighed, latching onto Deidara. "I was going to go _insane_."

"You already are insane Kitty." Tiburon told me from Sanaa's side. "At least that's what Mommy, Hidan-oji, and Sori-Danna say." He smiled. "You seem fine to me!"

I grinned at him. "That's because you're crazy too Tibby."

He stared at me for a minute before grinning. "Okay."

"He's so cute." I snickered and kissed Deidara's cheek. "I want a boy."

Deidara paled a little at the thought of another baby. "What about Sanaa, un?"

"Well of course my baby will still be there. But Alice, Itachi, and Tibby are so cute together. Just thinking about you playing with a tough little boy makes me want to hug something to death. I mean, Sanaa's super girly and sweet and she's the princess of the world, but I think she would be such a good big sister." I explained.

"Of course she would be, un." Deidara scoffed. "She's perfect." He kissed my cheek. "Just like you, un. I don't have a problem with having a boy at some point, but don't you think it's a little soon?" He curled an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his person as we reached the doors leading out of the Raikage's office building. "Alice will let you borrow Tibby. She already pretty much uses Sanaa as her own kid, un."

I nodded. "This is true."

"Plus, wasn't being pregnant shitty, yeah?" He asked.

I made a face. Carrying around a baby was not fun. Sure, it was all worth it when Sanaa was finally born and I'd do it a thousand times over just to see her smile, but the process still sucked.

Also, having Alice pregnant at pretty much the same time was like opening the gates to Hell and letting the demons wreck havoc. She was vicious and I think the only one she didn't threaten daily was Konan.

Her threats were never directed at Kisame very much, but that's because he would just pout when she started getting snippy with him and she would melt.

He really is too sweet and adorable for his own good.

But not as sweet and adorable as my Dei.

Speaking of Dei…

I broke my train of thought and glanced at the smexiful bomber at my side and smiled at his cocky smirk he was wearing as he watched Sanaa and Tiburon talk animatedly with each other.

I followed his gaze and watched the kids, noticing Sable kept a close distance to Tiburon at all times. She would occasionally drift away from him to sniff something, but she always stayed within ten feet of him.

Alice trained her so well.

Sable was glued to Alice's side during her pregnancy and when Tiburon was born, if Sable wasn't with Alice, she was watching over Tibby.

"My daddy can so kick your daddy's butt." Tiburon stressed firmly, looking at Sanaa.

Deidara both pouted and glared.

Sanaa shook her head. "No he can't. My daddy can kick your daddy's butt. And Sori-Danna can kick your daddy's butt." She smiled proudly.

Deidara's pout turned into a smirk and he nodded in approval.

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Sanaa, _my_ daddy is infinity times stronger than Deidei. And he can beat up Sori-Danna." He looked around as they walked. "Sable, come on girl." Sable, who had been falling behind to sniff something, instantly looked around and hurried to catch up to him. When she reached Tiburon's side, he looked back at Sanaa. "Kisa can kick your daddy's butt too and Sori-Danna's." He shook his head as if it should have been obvious. "Duh."

Sanaa glared. "No they can't."

"Yes they can." Tiburon grinned. "_And _my mommy can beat up your mommy."

Sanaa looked back at me before looking back at Tiburon. "Icy can beat anyone up."

"It's funny when she wrestles with Deidei." Tiburon giggled.

"I like it when Icy and Daddy fight with Hidan-oji." Sanaa snickered.

Tiburon agreed enthusiastically and they went off on a conversation about Alice and Deidara teaming up on Hidan. I only half listened, more focused on Deidara's facial expressions as he listened to the kids.

Naruto and Bee were standing a few feet from the kids, rapping to each other and their antics soon drew my attention. They were rapping about their tailed beasts and ninja-tastic things that I wasn't sure if I wanted to know about.

"Hey!" Sanaa called, breaking my train of thought. "Mommy!"

I looked at her and raised my eyebrow. "What cutie?"

She beamed at me because of the nickname. "Can we play hide and seek? Can we Mommy? Pretty please with Daddy on top?"

Deidara snorted with amusement while I snickered. "Sanaa, where did you hear that, un?"

"I heard Icy say it to her before and Mommy said yes right away." Sanaa muttered, looking down shyly.

"Yeah baby." I nodded. "We can play."

"I'll be it first, un." Deidara shrugged.

Tiburon and Sanaa cheered happily together. Tibby pet Sable's head. "We get Sable too."

"Of course." I grinned. "Naruto, Bee, do you guys want to play with us?"

Naruto and Bee shrugged in unison, turning their attention away from each other. "Sure."

"Alright, Dei's it." I stated. "Tiburon, Sanaa, you two stay close. Do you understand? You stay within sight of this building okay?"

Tibby nodded and grabbed Sanaa's hand. "Okay Kitty. We're gonna go hide. Come on, Sable."

Sable's tail swished and she gave a light howl of approval before trotting after the kids. I smiled and looked around for a hiding place as Deidara started to count.

Where to hide?

**Third Person!**

Tiburon and Sanaa ran together towards a small line of trees. Sanaa would glance back periodically to make sure the building stayed within sight while also easily keeping pace with Tiburon. Sable trotted along beside them loyally.

"Tibby." Sanaa stated. "I think this is far enough. The trees are almost blocking out the Raikage's office."

Tiburon stopped running and looked around before nodded. "Okay Sanaa. Let's find somewhere to hide."

She grinned and pulled him along the other way, towards a thick area of bushes. She slipped between a few, pouting a little when leaves got stuck in her hair as they reached a well hidden spot.

"I got leaves in my hair." Sanaa whined.

Tiburon giggled and began picking through her hair to get the offending leaves and twigs, making sure not to hurt her. "I'll get them."

"Thanks." Sanaa beamed. She looked around for a second before frowning. "Tibby?"

"What?" He asked.

She looked around him. "Where's Sable?"

Tiburon looked around too and frowned. "She was right behind us." He stood up and peeked his head over the bushes to see Sable standing a few feet from him, her ears flattened and the hair on her back sticking up.

"Sable?" Tiburon whispered.

Sable glanced at him and her ears perked slightly before her head snapped back around and she began growling. She crouched lowly, preparing to attack.

Sanaa stood as well and looked at Tiburon. "What's wrong, Tibby?"

Tiburon shook his head. "I dunno. She's growling at something."

"Do you think it's Daddy?" Sanaa asked.

"No. Sable wouldn't growl at him like that." Tiburon muttered quietly. "Sable, come here girl…" His words died on his lips as a dark figure slipped from the shadows of the trees. Sable's snarling increased and she bared her teeth, backing away from the figure to get closer to Tiburon and Sanaa.

"This was much simpler than I thought." A sultry voice chuckled from the dark figure. "These brats were basically served on a platter."

Another figure came out of the trees a few feet from the first. "Someone needs to take care of the dog, though."

"Sable's a wolf. Not a dog." Tiburon snapped, his mother's repeated correction the first thing he thought of. Since his mother was so animated about Sable being called a wolf and not a dog, he was too. "Who are you?"

"Tibby." Sanaa whispered, clutching onto his arm. "I don't like this. We're not supposed to talk to strangers. Sori-Danna's gonna be mad at me. Let's go back to daddy."

Tiburon pushed Sanaa behind him and glared. "_Who are you_? What do you want?"

"This little brat has some attitude." One of the figures chuckled. "According to the boss, the Seer is just like that. He'll be fun to mess with, even if he isn't her child."

"What about the girl?" The other figure asked.

"We'll bring her too." A third and final figure decided. "She's important to the Seer too."

Tiburon shook his head, recognizing the title. He had heard people call his mother that a lot. He didn't know why, but he knew to relate it to his mother. "We're not going anywhere with you. My mommy and daddy said not to go anywhere with strangers."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice brat." The third figure announced, stepping out of the shadows and allowing some light to fall on his ninja tools. Tiburon was instantly on the alert, having been trained to avoid strange ninjas by his family. "The boss wants you so it looks like you're coming with us."

Tiburon pushed Sanaa towards the Raikage's office. "Run Sanaa! Go to Dei! Sable! Attack!"

Sable howled loudly and lunged at the closest figure while Tiburon and Sanaa began sprinting back towards Kathryn and Deidara as fast as they could.

However, they weren't fast enough to outrun the two pursuing figures. Tiburon was scooped up just a second before Sanaa was. Sanaa started screaming until a hand clamped over her mouth. Tiburon began fighting, pulling a kunai from his ninja pouch and stabbing it into his attacker's shoulder.

A howl of pain erupted from his attacker but Tiburon kept fighting, hitting at his enemy's face. As he struggled, a piece of heavy cloth came off of the man holding him and grunts sounded from his attacker until finally darkness enveloped Tiburon when a pain erupted in the back of his head.

* * *

><p>Kathryn smiled from Deidara's back as he walked lazily around the area around the Raikage's office, searching for Sanaa and Tiburon. She had picked her hiding spot on top of a rock behind the bomber and when he reached one hundred, she had dropped down from the rock, announcing that she found him.<p>

Deidara then found Naruto and Bee when they had started bickering with each other about goodness knows what. Now the bomber just had to find his daughter and his nephew-type-thing as Alice would call their relationship.

"So where do you think they're hiding?" Kathryn asked.

"As far away from the building as they can without disobeying you, un." Deidara admitted. "Sanaa probably would have hidden closer if Tiburon wasn't with her."

Kathryn snickered. "Tibby is so much like Alice it is unreal."

Deidara nodded with a grin. "Yeah he is, un."

"But, he's cute." Kathryn grinned.

"Yep." Deidara agreed. "Not nearly as cute as you though, hmm."

Kathryn squealed about his cuteness and latched further onto him, smothering his face with kisses as she mugged him with affection from his back.

A howl ripped through the air, making Deidara and Kathryn jump. Sable came racing out of the woods with blood covering her fur, dripping from her mouth, and clinging to her claws. She was growling viciously, her bloody teeth exposed and the hair on her back was still on end.

"Sable?" Kathryn demanded instantly, getting off Deidara's back. "What happened? Where's Tibby and Sanaa?"

Sable ears flattened and she growled again before running back into the woods. Deidara darted after her, pausing long enough to pick up Kathryn. He followed Sable to a small cluster of bushes until he notices a bunch of ripped clothing and puddles of blood.

"Sable obviously attacked someone, un." Deidara muttered, noticing the upturned earth and groves from Sable's claws. "Sable, find Tiburon and Sanaa, yeah."

Sable sniffed and walked around the small clearing for a few minutes, going from one spot to another before finally, her ears flatted and she lay down on the ground beside a strip of cloth with a metal plate. She whimpered and nuzzled the cloth with her nose, guilt evident in her movements.

Kathryn separated herself from Deidara's person and she zipped over to the cloth, her eyes widening and worried tears springing to her eyes. She covered her mouth and went to her knees. "Dei…"

Deidara walked over to her and looked at the strip of cloth before his eyes narrowed. "We have to go tell Alice, un. We have to let her and Itachi know now."

Kathryn shuddered violently as a sob shook her thin frame. "My baby… Sanaa…"

Deidara picked Kathryn up. "We'll get her back, yeah. Come on Sable. Find Alice, un."

Sable hopped to her feet and took off towards the building, Deidara on her tail. When they reached the doors, Naruto and Killer Bee took in the tense, terrified, and distraught mannerisms of Deidara and Kathryn before instantly realizing what happened.

"Please tell me what I'm thinking is wrong." Naruto growled, his eyes flashing to the bloody Sable who was scratching at the doors.

"You'll see, un." Deidara whispered. "We need to get to Alice now, yeah."

"Good luck dealing with her temper, it's enough to make even me whimper." Bee advised as he shoved the doors open. Sable rocketed inside, howling loudly in search for her mom.

Kathryn pushed herself out of Deidara's arms, tears pouring down her face as she opened the large doors leading into the meeting room, Sable leading the way, darting in right away.

Sable darted to Alice instantly and jumped on her as well as she could. The entire top half of her body was on Alice's lap.

Alice, looking irritated about the disruption, frowned at Sable. "Sable, you're soaked." She stroked Sable's fur. "Who let you play in… Oh my Jashin is that blood?" Her attention snapped around to the door and she saw Kathryn's distraught face accompanied by her crying. She was on her feet in seconds. "Kathryn? What the fuck happened?"

Kathryn darted over to Alice, bawling her eyes out on Alice's shirt. Alice hugged her back, stroking her hair, wondering what in the world was going on.

"Kat, calm down." Alice soothed. "Tell me what happened. Breathe and tell me so I can help you. Tell me why Sable is covered in blood." She looked around towards Deidara, Naruto, and Killer Bee when they walked in. "Where're Tiburon and Sanaa?"

Kathryn's crying only increased and she handed Alice the strip of cloth with a metal plate. Alice frowned and looked over it before her eyes landed on the only clue she needed. Her eyes widened in horror before they narrowed as a wave of anger washed over her. The one clue answered all of her questions.

A single music note etched into the metal plate of a forehead protector.

* * *

><p><em>Dun dun dun...<em>

_The plot thickens once again..._

**_Fun Fact: _**_Cliff-hangers are a double standard. You love making them for other people to experience, but when someone gives you one, it's like being shot._

Answer: _Technically, my first anime was Pokemon and Digimon. But, the first anime I watched with a knowledge that it was an anime, was Bleach. The first manga I read was +Anima and then Bleac__h. But yeah..._

**QotC: **_Do any of you lovely, fantastic people cosplay? If you do, who have you cosplayed and if not, who would you cosplay if you could?_

**_WotC:_**_ Enojado - Angry in Spanish_

_Don't hate me:)_

_I feel like I haven't talked to you guys enough, so I'm going to chat for a minute._

_I'm currently on spring break so I'm happy about that. However, I have a shitload of school work to do which I deplore. Also, fucking work. I hate my job. I'd give up my ability to walk just to get out of that shithole. It's that bad. I about killed a woman through the drive-thru because she was being a rude bitch. My manager took over the window for fifteen minutes so I could go and calm myself down. Yeah..._

_Anyways, my dog is adorable and fat and she is currently rolling around on my floor having a spaz attack. But, that's beside the point. I love you all in a purely platonic way and I wish there was some way to repay you for all of your support and praise. You guys are amazing and if you don't already know that, then there might be something wrong with you. :D_

_And on a final note, all of you go and read _Klavieres_'s stories, more specifically: _Save Me From This Nightmare. _It's probably my favorite story at the moment. It is yaoi, but it's sooooooo good__. I'm obsessed with it and I need her to keep updating so go and threaten her and shit. Maybe... if you do... I'll make some oneshots or something of Tibby and Sanaa or the Akatsuki or something being themselves._

_But seriously. Go read it. Now._

_Check ya later~_


	17. Chapter 17

_I know I'm super evil... :)_

_Here is the next chapter. Only four of the characters in here are mine. The rest will be mine someday._

_Enjoy._

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

Anger.

That was about the only thing on my mind.

Tiburon, my baby, was now the captive of some stranger.

My son was in danger.

That shit didn't fly with me.

"You mean to tell me that _my baby_, who I entrusted to you for _maybe_ half an hour, was fucking kidnapped?" I shouted, glowering at Deidara and Kathryn. "Not only is Sanaa missing, but _my_ fucking _son_ is gone too? Not only were you careless enough to lose your own child, but you had to lose mine as well? Do you have any idea how fucking irresponsible you have to be to lose two fucking children? What the hell were you _doing_?"

"We were playing hide and seek!" Kathryn yelped. "Sable was with them!"

"Sable isn't a fucking ninja!" I shouted. "She obviously was the only one doing her fucking job!" I pointed at Sable. "Look at her! She's covered in fucking blood and I don't even know if any of it is hers or not!"

Itachi sat in his seat, his entire body frozen in shock. Sasuke was slowly growing more and more livid. His Sharingan was enough proof of that. It was blazing in the final stage and it was spinning angrily.

I'm surprised black flames didn't engulf the table he was glaring at.

I shook my head. "That's not even the fucking point right now! My _son_ is in the hands of fucking Oto bastards! Your daughter is with him! Their Kage is out to fucking get me! Think about what is going to happen to Tiburon! Sanaa isn't even in the same league because she's submissive and she's not my child! Tiburon _is_ my son, and he is about as submissive as a fucking rabid dragon. That doesn't excuse Sanaa from potential torture though. Think about what happened to us when we were taken captive by Oto shit heads! Damn it Kathryn, am I the only fucking one here who sees the severity of this situation?"

"Alice." Deidara snapped, stepping forward to confront me and my temper. "We're just as worried as you are and we're sorry yeah. It's not like we asked for this to happen. We love Tiburon just as much as you love Sanaa. Your son has been kidnapped, this is true. But so has my daughter, un. We're freaking out too. Look at Kathryn. She's crying her eyes out right now and you're screaming at her for something that isn't her fault. Neither of us would ever have expected this to happen un."

"You might not have fucking expected it Deidara, but I have. Every day I fear for the safety and wellbeing of my son and for Sanaa. We're in a world of fucking Shinobi. We might be at peace, but that does not mean anyone is safe. Call me paranoid, but my paranoia is what would have kept your daughter and my son safe." I glared at him.

The Raikage watched me along with Bee and Naruto, wondering either when I was going to resort to blows, or when I was going to calm down. If they expected the latter, they didn't know me very well.

"I wouldn't have let Sanaa out of my sight if I was watching her. This never would have fucking happened if all of you weren't a bunch of mindless morons! All four of you are fucking incompetent. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You could have at least been monitoring their chakra or something! Tiburon is four years old and Sanaa is three! They shouldn't go anywhere without someone watching over them! And Sable _does not_ count!" I threw the headband away from me before whistling and storming towards the door, Sable at my side.

Itachi broke out of his trance. "Alice? Where are you going?"

"To find my fucking kids, and slaughter an entire village while I'm at it." I snapped. I marched out of the door, ripping my phone from my pocket. I dialed the number of a person I knew would never let me down when it came to Sanaa and Tiburon. Someone I knew would be just as pissed off as I was. I held the phone up to my ear and listened as it rang a few times.

Four and a half rings later, and my call was answered.

"_Alice?_"

"Sasori." I whispered. "I need your help."

I could hear the frown in his voice at my tone. "_What's wrong?_"

"Tiburon and Sanaa were kidnapped." I growled. "I fucking let Deidara and Kathryn watch them for half an hour while I was in a meeting and they come barging in before it's over, Kathryn's bawling and Sable is covered in blood."

I heard something snap on the other line. "_What did you just say?_"

I glared, his anger fueling my own. "I need you guys to meet me at the Oto border. I'm finding my son and Sanaa. I don't fucking care if I have to start another Shinobi war to do it."

"_We just finished our mission. We'll have to report to Pein, but Hidan and I will meet you there as soon as we can._" Sasori assured me.

"_What the fuck's going on, Sasori?_" Hidan demanded.

"_Tiburon and Sanaa were kidnapped._" Sasori growled.

Hidan's swearing could be heard four countries over.

If you're wondering why Sasori has a cell phone, it's because Kathryn and he made enough for each set of partners over the years. They were specialized phones, capable only of calling each other, Kathryn, and myself.

They were convenient.

"_Alice, you need to wait for Itachi. How do you know it was Oto that took them?_" Sasori asked.

"Fuck waiting for anything when it comes to my son." I snarled. "And I know because an Oto headband was found near the spot they were taken. Plus, it has blood on it, just like Sable does. If _any_ of it belongs to Tiburon or Sanaa, I'll kill everyone."

"_Ice bitch, I have to fucking wait for Kakuzu at base. But I'll be there to help you as soon as fucking possible. Alright?_" Hidan called into the phone.

I shook my head. "Too long. I'm going now."

"_I will send Hidan ahead with the report. I will come meet you now. Where are you heading?_" Sasori wondered.

"Meet me in Yu." I stated. "I'm going."

"_Don't do anything stupid. Wait for Itachi._" Sasori added just before I hung up.

I shook my head and kept storming out of the village.

**Third Person!**

Itachi glared as he marched out of the hotel they were staying in, heading after Alice. Deidara, Kathryn, and Sasuke trailed after him. Naruto had stayed behind so he could report to the Hokage about the situation.

After taking care of some technicalities, Itachi rushed to the hotel to collect their things before instantly heading after Alice. He only took so long because Kathryn and Deidara slowed him down.

He situated Kathryn's phone in his hand, internally grateful that he had thought to give Kisame their joint phone before they split for their separate missions.

"_Kathryn?_" Kisame wondered.

"No." Itachi said stoically. "Kisame, it's me."

"_Itachi?_" Kisame questioned. "_What's wrong? Why aren't you using Alice's phone?_"

Itachi frowned. "Alice is currently on her way to Oto, with all of the fury of Hell fueling her. That is why I called you."

Kisame sighed. "_What pissed her off this time?_"

"Tiburon and Sanaa were kidnapped." Itachi said shortly.

A thud sounded from the other line, signifying that Kisame had dropped the phone in shock. A second later, it was picked up. "_What?_"

"Tiburon and Sanaa were kidnapped by Oto Shinobi. Alice just stormed out of a meeting with the Raikage in a fit of anger. She said things she probably never would have if she wasn't as pissed off as she was." Itachi sighed. "Kisame. I need you."

"_Of course Itachi._" Kisame said loyally. He exchanged some words with Kakuzu before returning to the call. "_Kakuzu and I just finished our mission. He agreed to take the report back to Pein and meet up with Hidan before coming to catch up with us. I'll be getting a hold of Zetsu so I can set him on the kids' trail. _I'll_ be there as quickly as I can. Where should I meet you guys?_"

"Meet me on the border of Yu and Oto." Itachi stated. "Hurry Kisame. There is only so much I can do to stall Alice's temper and my own."

"_Don't do anything reckless without me there to watch your back._" Kisame said firmly.

"No promises." Itachi sighed. "Good bye."

He hung up the call and tossed the phone back to Deidara. "Hurry. We need to find Alice before she kills something."

**First Person Alice!**

I was sitting at the edge of a lake when Itachi, Kathryn, Deidara, and Sasuke caught up with me. I was occupying my mind with getting blood off Sable so I wouldn't go mad with worry and anger. I was so focused I didn't even notice the others arrive.

"Alice."

I paused in washing's Sable's paw to acknowledge his call and assure him that I heard him. I couldn't turn to face him. Every time I looked at him, I saw Tiburon. Then I remembered that my baby was now a prisoner of a man who probably either wanted in my pants, or my blood for rejecting him. Or both. "You're late."

"My apologies." He sighed.

He noticed my lack of eye contact was a sign of my internal strife. He knew I couldn't look at him, maybe not because of his resemblance to our missing son, but because I was hurting a lot more than I was willing to let on.

I felt lost without Tiburon.

I shook my head and gave Sable back her paw before grabbing the other one. "Sasori's meeting us on the border of Yu and Oto. He sent Hidan to the base with their report."

Itachi nodded. "Kisame is as well."

"Good." I muttered. "Sable isn't hurt by the way. None of this blood is hers."

Itachi sighed and knelt beside me, watching me clean Sable's paw. She sat obediently in front of me, licking her paw where I already washed to make it dry faster. Her tail wagged a bit when Itachi knelt next to me.

"That's good." Itachi told me, petting Sable gently and letting her lick his hand.

I nodded once. "Kathryn?"

She winced at my address. "What?"

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." I stated. "That wasn't considerate or fair of me. I couldn't help it though."

She shivered and suppressed a sob. "I-It's okay."

Itachi stared at me before stroking my hair. "Alice."

"I swear to Jashin, if you tell me everything will be alright, I will drown you in this fucking lake." I growled, glancing at him. "Everything will be alright when I have my son back at home where he belongs. Not a moment sooner."

He sighed and pressed his forehead to the side of my head. "I wasn't going to say that, actually."

I closed my eyes. "What then?"

"Are you done washing Sable yet?" He asked.

I looked over Sable and nodded. "Yeah."

"Then come. We need to reach the borders. Tiburon is waiting for us." He breathed into my ear.

Sasuke crossed his arms. "I will help you find the bases and search them. I am fairly certain Sonido would be using the same ones Orochimaru favored. He followed the guy around like a love sick puppy."

I glared in Sasuke's direction without really looking at him. I couldn't even force myself to make eye contact with him. "Don't say his name around me. That bastard will die."

"I know." Sasuke growled. "I will kill him myself."

I got to my feet and began walking south. "Get in line."

"Alice." Sasuke stated.

I stopped walking. "What?"

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I scoffed. "Are you really asking me that question?"

"Yes." He said calmly.

Breathing deeply, I put my hands in my pockets and looked up at the sky for a minute before looking at the ground as I considered his question.

My son was missing and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Sanaa was gone and I couldn't do anything to get her back other than look. Against ninjas, I was powerless in all but knowledge.

Even then, I knew close to nothing about Sonido.

I was going in blind.

And I hated it.

"No." I breathed.

I promised Tiburon I would be there to protect him, and then this happens and I wasn't even around. I had broken my promise to him and put him in danger.

Unforgivable.

Itachi grabbed my wrist before I was able to continue walking and he pulled me back to him. He span me around and wrapped me up in a hug, kissing my forehead gently. "Alice… We will get Tiburon back." He squeezed me softly and pressed his head against mine. "We will find him."

I shivered and hugged Itachi back, gripping his cloak tightly in my hands to keep from shaking. "Itachi..."

"I miss him too." Itachi whispered, his voice softer and more strained than it ever had been. "I promise you that I will bring him to you safely. And I will kill anyone who dared to touch him."

I nodded into Itachi's chest and took a deep breath, breathing in his intoxicating scent that always managed to soothe me. "Come on. We have to meet up with Kisame and Sasori."

Itachi kissed the side of my head before nodding. He gently picked me up, allowing me to climb onto his back so he could use his hands. He looked over his shoulder at Sasuke, Kathryn, and Deidara who were watching us quietly. "Let's go."

Deidara picked up Kathryn, made sure she wasn't going to fall off, and then he took off after us. Sasuke ran beside Deidara and Kathryn and behind Itachi, allowing us to lead the way with Sable who was racing after us.

**Third Person!**

Tiburon shifted dully, rising from his forced slumber. He blinked slowly, adjusting to the light and trying to ignore the pounding in his head as he looked around. He has expected to see either his bedroom or the hotel room he was staying in while in Kumo, but his heart started racing when he didn't recognize the layout of the room.

"Sanaa?" He whispered quietly.

"Tibby?" A quiet voice replied.

Tiburon's eyes widened and he looked around hurriedly. "Sanaa? Where are you?"

"I'm right here." Sanaa whispered. "On the bed thingy."

Tiburon looked around and sighed with relief when he found his best friend. He forced himself to his feet before hurrying over to her. He climbed on the cot and hugged her instantly.

"Are you okay Sanaa?" He asked.

Sanaa nodded quietly, clutching onto him now that he was beside her. "I'm okay. Are you? You were sleeping for a long time."

"My head hurts, but I'm okay." Tiburon nodded. "Where are we?"

Sanaa shook her head. "I dunno. A really scary man brought us in here. The other guys that were with him went a different way. I think Sable killed one of them."

Tiburon glared. "Good. I hope they all die."

"Tibby." Sanaa gasped. "That's so mean, yeah."

"They kidnapped us." Tiburon justified.

Sanaa looked down. "I know… but it's not nice to say stuff like that about people."

Tiburon sighed. "I know." He hugged Sanaa tightly. "Our mommies and daddies are probably really sad."

Sanaa whimpered and tightened her grip on Tiburon. "I want my mommy yeah."

Tiburon nodded in agreement. "I want my mommy too Sanaa. She's probably going to kill something."

"I don't think the mean grownups here like Icy. I heard one of them saying mean things about her." Sanaa pointed out.

"I'll beat them up if they are mean to my mommy." Tiburon growled. "Just like I'll beat them up if they're mean to you."

Sanaa smiled. "Thanks Tibby."

He smiled in return.

Their smiles faded however when the door to their room opened and two men stepped in. Both men were a part of the trio that had kidnapped them. One of them looked furious while the other was smirking a bit.

"It's time to go brats. The boss wants to see you." The smirking one said. His hair and eyes were brown. The only distinguishing feature on him was his abnormally large nose. The ninja beside him had black hair and black eyes and the only thing that made him stand out was the giant mole on his left temple.

Tiburon glared. "Fuck you."

Sanaa gasped quietly. "Tibby! That's a bad word!"

Tiburon ignored her, his eyes locked on the Shinobi at the door.

"Cheeky brat." Mole growled. "I own that kid a kunai to the shoulder."

"Easy." Big-Nose soothed. "He's just a kid. Besides, the boss ordered that we weren't to touch them without his permission. Just grab the girl. I'll bring the boy."

"Fine." Mole grunted. He walked forward with his companion and he reached for Sanaa. Tiburon smacked his hand away and positioned himself in front of a terrified Sanaa. She was shaking violently, hiding her face in Tiburon's back.

"Don't touch her!" Tiburon snapped, his eyes alight with an angry challenge.

"He's got some expressive eyes for a brat his age." Big-Nose commented. "It must be an Uchiha thing. They're trained to talk with their eyes."

Mole shrugged. "He's too young for the Sharingan so I don't care." He reached behind Tiburon and grabbed Sanaa's shirt. Tiburon however bit into his arm. "Ouch! You little shit!"

"Don't hit him, idiot!" Big-Nose scolded, catching the closed fist with his hand before it connected with Tiburon's head. "It can't hurt that bad. Wait until I take him before you grab the girl." He released Mole's hand before grabbing Tiburon by the back of his shirt and lifting him off the cot. "Time to go, kiddo."

Tiburon struggled violently. "Put me down! Let go of me!"

"Will you shut him up?" Mole demanded. He jabbed Tiburon's stomach with his finger. "Why can't you be quiet like this kid?" He held up a docile Sanaa for example. She was settled in his arm, shaking in fear with her hands over her mouth to keep herself from making noise.

"Hey!" Tiburon shouted. "Put her down! Don't touch her!"

"Let's just go. This kid is all talk." Big-Nose scoffed as they began walking out of the room and through dark, stone hallways. He smirked as Tiburon continued to struggle. "He is a feisty little thing though."

The adults fell silent as they traveled through the hallways. The silence was only broken by Tiburon who continued to fight the entire time. When they finally reached their destination, Mole was on the verge of exploding.

"What is going on out there?" A sultry voice wondered with hidden malice.

"Lord Sonido." Mole growled, pointing at Tiburon. "This _brat_ is a demon child."

Sonido's dark eyes gazed at Tiburon from his throne and he raised his eyebrow. "Are these the children you collected? Which one is _Her_ child?"

"I'm pretty sure it's this one." Big-Nose said boredly, holding up Tiburon. "From the what we saw at the meeting in Konoha, the Seer has an attitude akin to his. And he looks just like the Uchiha."

"Put me down you asshole!" Tiburon yelled. "I'll rip your eyes out!"

Sonido's eyes gleamed, Tiburon's resemblance to Itachi and his fiery temper that was much like his mother's becoming apparent. "That is indeed Her child."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry about the excessive POV change.<em>

_Get used to it though because it will be happening a lot in this story._

**_Fun Fact: _**_A snail can sleep for three years. I wish I could do that..._

Answer: _I have cosplayed before, but just for the hell of it. I've never gone to conventions or anything because there is like one where I live and very few people go to it._

**QotC: **_Tiburon or Sanaa?_ _Which one is your favorite and why?_

_**WotC: **Traps - Trampas_

_The next chapter makes me laugh just a little bit._

_Does anyone else think Sonido's super creepy? I actually based him off one of my original characters for one of my original stories. He's a freak. I actually toned him down for Fanfiction._

_But anyways~ I love you guys. Have a good weekend. I have to work today, but the good new is that I don't have to work all next week because I'm doing stage crew for the musical at my school and next week is tech week. :D_

_YaY!_

_See you lovelies~  
><em>


	18. Chapter 18

_Hello:)_

_Cannot talk too much today my dears._

_It's Tech-Week for musical for my school._

_I'm the one in charge of stage crew and practice starts soon so yeah._

_Enjoy  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Tiburon glared up at the pale man before him, angry about the fact that he had been gagged. Sanaa stood beside him, shaking in fear and staring down at the ground. She was clutching his arm and would whimper whenever the men around her moved.

All sorts of things were going on in Tiburon's head. However, his main focus was getting out of there. He had been told to avoid angering his captors by his parents before, but they never said anything about not escaping.

In order to escape, he had to get weapons. To get weapons, he had to take out the guards. To take out the guards, he needed to make traps.

Tiburon smirked.

Traps were his specialty.

"So sir, what did you want these kids for?" Mole asked. "I thought you were joining the Shinobi Alliance for peace. Taking these kids is going to make you the number one target of the Akatsuki. The Seer has a lot of influence over the other nations. This could turn out bad for us."

"I have every intention of being peaceful with the other nations and the Akatsuki. You need not worry about the Akatsuki finding out about our abduction of these children. How will they link it back to us?" Sonido soothed.

"Besides the fact that you were openly in love with the Seer." Big-Nose mused.

"Think of all of the enemies and people who must want Her dead." Sonido scoffed. "We will even help look for the children."

"But… she can see the future." Mole stated. "She might know we have them."

Sonido entwined his fingers. "Then we dispose of them before they are found if that time comes."

"Then why even kidnap them?" Mole questioned again.

"I wanted the boy because I wanted Her to see the error of her ways for rejecting me for some Uchiha. Besides, Orochimaru always wanted to obtain the Sharingan. I will accomplish his goal by raising the boy until he is powerful enough." Sonido explained. "Not to mention, She will come to me if Her son is here."

Big-Nose raised his eyebrow. "What about the girl?"

Sanaa whimpered at having the attention on her and she shifted closer to Tiburon, shaking his entire body because of her violent trembling. He wanted to hug her, but his hands were tied together behind his back and the Shinobi with the big nose was holding him still.

Sonido shrugged. "Use her as leverage to make him obey. She will be useful later. If my sources are correct, she has the same ability her father possesses."

"So…" Big-Nose began. "What do we do with them now?"

"For now, do nothing. If they misbehave, you have permission to punish them. But do not kill them. They are to be fed at meal times and bathed when necessary. Otherwise, leave them alone unless I give you other orders." Sonido stated.

Mole nodded. "Will do. We'll take them back to their room now."

"Dismissed." Sonido sighed.

**First Person Alice!**

"I feel Kisame's chakra." Sasuke commented. "We're quickly moving in on it."

I nodded. "Good."

Itachi's speed increased slightly, and he left Deidara and Sasuke behind seeing as they weren't as fast as he was. Sasuke was close, but Itachi was faster. Deidara increased his speed to keep up and Sasuke copied him. All of us were eager to catch up with Kisame.

Sable saw him first. She howled with excitement and sped ahead of us, rocketing forward to greet the former Kiri-nin.

"Sasori is with him." Itachi stated. I nodded in approval when my eyes landed on a much shorter redhead standing beside Kisame. In the next minute, we reached them and instantly Kathryn latched onto Sasori and started crying.

Sasori hugged her, petting her hair silently, letting her get it out of her system. Kisame walked directly over to me the second Itachi set me down and he picked me up in a shark hug.

I hugged him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into the crook of his neck. "Kisa."

He tightened his grip on me slightly. "Alice. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. Just help me get Tiburon back."

"Of course." Kisame promised. "There's nothing anyone could do that would stop me."

I shivered and squeezed his neck tighter. "I miss him."

Kisame held me closer and kissed the side of my head. "I miss him too, Alice. Don't worry. We'll find him."

"Let's just hope he isn't driving his captors insane." Sasori stated, looking at me. "He is a lot like you, Alice. I have no doubt he is threatening all of this captors with his wild temperament."

I smiled sadly. "Yeah."

Sasuke looked at Itachi, a frown on his face. "We should get moving. The closest base is at least a day's run away."

"He's right, un." Deidara stated. "I don't want to stay here any longer than we need to. We need to get Sanaa and Tiburon as soon as we can, yeah."

Itachi nodded. "Well then, let us be off." He looked to me. "Would you like Kisame to carry you, or me?"

"I don't care." I shrugged. "I'm already clinging to Kisame."

"I'll carry her. You've been running with her for a while." Kisame offered. He maneuvered me around his person so I was on his back and Samehada was horizontal on his person. "Let's go."

Itachi stared at me for a moment before nodding. "So be it. Come Sable." Sable barked happily, excited about running again.

Sasori put Kathryn on his back before he shot after Itachi and Sasuke who led the pack. Deidara and Kisame followed after him, Kisame carrying me.

**Third Person!**

Sanaa sat on the cot in the cell she shared with Tiburon, biting her lip as she watched Tiburon fuss with things around the room. She knew from his mannerisms that he was making a trap for their guards. She had no idea why, but she knew from the smirk on his face that it was going to be a rough one.

"Tibby?" She whispered.

Tiburon glanced back at her poking a knot in the rope that had been used to bind his hands. The guards had made the mistake of leaving it on him and Sanaa had been able to get it off of him for him to use. "What?"

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm making a trap." He grinned. "They had all kinds of stuff in the bathroom."

Sanaa sighed. "Why?"

"So I can catch one of the guards." Tiburon told her as if it should have been obvious. "I'm trying to get us out of here."

Sanaa bit her lip. "Tibby, we're not supposed to make our kidnappers angry. You're going to get into big trouble."

Tiburon looked at her. "I want to go home, Sanaa."

"I do too, but we'll get in trouble if we hurt the bad men who took us." Sanaa stressed.

"Then stay over there. You won't get in trouble. I will." Tiburon shrugged. "I want my mommy, daddy, Kisa, Sasuke, Hidan-oji, Sori-Danna, Deidei, Kitty, Sable, Konan, Zetsu, Kuzu-oji, and Pein." He looked at her seriously. "I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore."

Sanaa looked down and hugged herself. "I miss everyone."

Tiburon glanced back at his trap before checking a sharpened piece of wood that was set to launch. Satisfied, he walked away from it and over to Sanaa. He climbed on the cot and sat beside her, hugging her.

"I do too Sanaa." He whispered. "I'll get us out of here so we can go home."

Sanaa sniffed, slowing unshed tears. "Kay." She rested her head on his shoulder and Tiburon put his head on hers, his gaze flicking to the door.

Five minutes later, the handle to the door wiggled as it was unlocked. Tiburon tensed and his head snapped up. Sanaa tightened her grip on his shirt, staring at the door with fear in her expression.

The door opened and Mole walked in the room boldly. He took two steps in and looked at the kids on the cot before he was hoisted by his ankle off the floor and into the air. The wooden spike shot forward and shaved off some of his hair before it shattered against the wall in the hallway.

"What the hell?" Big-Nose demanded, sticking his head inside the room. Mole had lost consciousness, having cracked his head on the floor when he legs were ripped out from beneath him. "What was that?"

Tiburon huffed angrily at the fact that the spike missed Mole's head and didn't pierce his skull like had intended. His calculations on his trap were perfect like always, so he supposed Mole was shorter than he thought. "Damn it."

Sanaa poked him harshly. "That's a bad word, Tibby."

Tiburon sighed. "Sorry Sanaa."

Big-Nose walked carefully into the room and inspected the trap before frowning and looking towards Sanaa and Tiburon. "Which one of you two made this?"

"I did." Tiburon stated.

"I hope you know you're going to be in deep shit for that, kid." Big-Nose informed him. He poked his unconscious companion. "He already wants to kill you for stabbing him and ordering your dog to kill our teammate."

Tiburon glared. "Sable's a _wolf_!"

Big-Nose rolled his eyes. "I don't care what she is, you brat. You're in trouble."

"I don't care! You can't catch me!" Tiburon snapped.

Big-Nose lifted his eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yeah it is so." Tiburon nodded.

Taking a bold step forward, Big-Nose stepped in a bucket hidden in the shadows. The bucket was connected to some dental floss that closed around the handle of a spray bottle filled with a powerful cleaning agent. It sprayed Big-Nose in the eyes, making him howl in pain.

Tiburon grinned. "Gotcha." He jumped down from the cot and grabbed Sanaa's hand. "Come on Sanaa!"

Sanaa nodded shakily before running after Tiburon as he sprinted out of the room. They ran as far away from the room as they could before Tiburon stopped them in a random hallway. "Sanaa, do you know where the door is? Do you remember?"

"Yeah." She confirmed. "We're close to it." She tugged on his hand. "It's this way."

Tiburon nodded and he allowed her to lead him down a few hallways before they reached a set of iron doors. "I don't know how to open it though."

Tiburon shook his head and released her hand to go and push on the door. "That's okay. I'll figure it out."

"I think you have to use chakra." Sanaa said quietly, watching Tiburon stare at the door seriously. She looked around them nervously, willing the doors to open.

Tiburon focused some of his chakra into his hand as his many teachers taught him and he slapped the door with his hand. He huffed when it didn't open. "That didn't work. Sanaa, any ideas?"

Tiburon frowned at the silence that followed his question and looked around for his friend to see her staring fearfully at Sonido who was watching them from an intersecting hallway.

"Who let you two out?" Sonido asked, staring at them.

Tiburon rounded on him, anger renewed. "Let us out! Now!"

Sonido cocked his head to the side curiously. "No."

"You're an asshole!" Tiburon yelled loudly.

Sanaa covered her ears, knowing Tiburon said a lot of bad words when he was angry. She had seen his fights with Hidan and her Sori-Danna had always covered her ears when they argued. So, she knew not to listen.

"You are your mother's child." Sonido stated, walking forward.

Sanaa yelped and darted back to hide behind Tiburon as he walked closer. Tiburon glared at him, standing tall. "Let us go! My daddy is going to kick your ass if you don't."

Sonido smirked. "Your _father_ doesn't know I have you." He bent closer to Tiburon when he stopped a few feet from him. "You will soon call me father."

Tiburon punched him in the mouth, focusing chakra into his hand, just like he had been taught. "Your breath stinks!"

Sonido straightened up and wiped the dribble of blood that leaked from his now split lip. He stared at his hand for a minute before looking at Tiburon. "How very much like your mother. It seems She has never taught you respect." He lowered his hand. "I suppose I will in Her place."

Tiburon backed away from Sonido when he reached for him, but he didn't move quickly enough. Tiburon was picked up by the back of his shirt and lifted off the ground. Sonido held him off to the side boredly before looking to Sanaa. "Go to your room."

Sanaa whimpered. "Don't hurt Tibby yeah. Please?"

"I will teach him to behave." Sonido said emotionlessly. He pushed Sanaa towards her room with his foot, ignoring Tiburon's struggling. "Go. I will follow."

Sanaa hurried forward, throwing anxious glances back at Sonido nervously, as if she was expecting him to hurt her when she wasn't looking. Sonido just followed after her boredly, Tiburon in his grasp.

When they finally reached the room, they found Mole still hanging upside down from the trap and Big-Nose was in the bathroom, washing his eyes out from the sink, whining in pain.

"What happened here?" Sonido questioned.

"Sonido-sama." Big-Nose called, a hopeful tone to his voice. "Is that you my lord?"

"Yes. Answer my question." Sonido ordered.

Big-Nose crept out of the bathroom, his eyes shut tightly to attempt to block out the pain. "That _brat_ set traps for us."

Sonido raised his eyebrow. "Which one?"

"The damn Uchiha!" Big-Nose growled. "The girl just sat there."

Sonido turned his head slowly towards Tiburon and he lifted him up higher. "You made these traps to ensnare my subordinates?"

"Duh! Who else?" Tiburon growled. "Sanaa told me not to, but I did anyways."

"These traps are rather impressive for one as young as you." Sonido commented.

Tiburon grinned. "I know."

"However, you will be severely punished for your actions. You have severely injured my men and because of that, you will suffer." Sonido continued.

Tiburon's grin turned into a glare. "My mommy will kill you."

"I highly doubt that." Sonido stated. He looked to Big-Nose, attempting to ignore the loud protesting of the Uchiha in his grasp. "Tend to your eyes, and cut him down. Once you are done, feed the girl and do whatever it is you need to do."

"Sir." Big-Nose stated. "What are you doing with the brat?"

"He will suffer for his unruly behavior." Sonido announced. He placed his hand over Tiburon's mouth and adjusted Tiburon in his grasp. "Be quiet, boy. Or your punishment will be increased."

Tiburon bit his hand and slammed his head forward to head butt the Otokage. "Don't touch me, you stupid, creepy jerk!"

Sonido tightened his grip on the back of Tiburon's shirt and he narrowed his eyes threateningly at Tiburon. "You will regret that."

Tiburon didn't speak but continued to glare, his desire to fight dying down at the crushing murderous intent that was leaking from his captor. He knew he was in trouble, but as long as he kept their attention from Sanaa, he didn't care. He just wanted to go home and to do that, he had to do whatever was necessary to get out.

He just hoped Sanaa would be strong enough to carry him if necessary.

Sanaa bit her lip. "Don't hurt Tibby. Please don't hurt him. He didn't mean to yeah."

"Be quiet." Sonido ordered, his eyes narrowed and anger evident in his expression. Tiburon was starting to annoy him.

Sanaa fell silent and backed away from him, shaking under his stern gaze. "I'm sorry."

Sonido stared at her for a moment longer before leaving with Tiburon in his grasp and shutting the door behind him. Sanaa whimpered and backed into the corner, disliking being alone with two of her captors so close, even if one was unconscious.

"Hey kid." Big-Nose began.

Sanaa looked up at him. "What?"

"Be a good little girl and cut him down from there. I can't see to do it." Big-Nose stated. "Do it for me and I'll give you a nice treat with your dinner or something."

Sanaa shivered. "You don't have to give me anything. I'll cut him down for you. He's going to fall on his head though."

"Where is the rope holding him up?" Big-Nose wondered.

Sanaa tiptoed closer to him and grabbed his hand, twitching away from him when he jerked at her touch. "Sorry. I was going to take you there."

Big-Nose relaxed. "Give me a warning first, kid. I could have killed you just now."

"I'm sorry." Sanaa whispered.

"It's alright. Now take me to the rope." Big-Nose sighed.

Sanaa grabbed his giant hand with her tiny ones before carefully pulling him over to the rope that was holding Mole off the floor. She put his hand on it and watched him grip it tightly. "I'm gonna cut the knot. You have to hold onto it and then put him on the floor."

Big-Nose nodded. "I have him."

Sanaa looked around for the kunai Tiburon had hidden and cut the knot securing Mole's place in the air. Big-Nose held him steady for a moment before easing him to the floor. Once he was on the ground, He released the rope and left it hanging there.

"Good girl." Big-Nose praised. "You're much better than that Uchiha brat."

"Tibby's good too. He just doesn't like you guys." Sanaa said quietly.

Big-Nose scoffed. "He's a devil child, girl."

"My name's Sanaa." Sanaa told him, disliking being called girl and kid.

Big-Nose nodded. "That's a nice name."

"My Sori-Danna gave it to me." She smiled proudly. Her smile faded a second later, however, when she remembered that she was kidnapped and probably wouldn't be seeing her Sori-Danna for a long time. She whimpered sadly.

"What's wrong?" Big-Nose asked.

Sanaa wiped at her cheeks as she started crying. She had never been away from her parents for so long, and if she wasn't with her mother and father, she was usually always with Sasori. Being away from them scared her and it gave her a feeling of abandonment. She was scared. Scared for herself and for Tiburon. "I-I miss my Sori-Danna. I miss my mommy and my d-daddy! I-I wanna go h-home yeah." She cried.

"Hey, don't cry." Big-Nose said awkwardly, unable to see her tear covered face.

Sanaa backed away from him as he made a blind reach for her to try and console her. She back into the far corner of the room and curled into a ball on the floor. "M-Mommy." She whimpered. "I want my Mommy yeah."

* * *

><p><em>Poor kids:(<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Alice's favorite color is red despite the fact that she is color blind. She has a facilitation with blood. Kathryn's is red and/or purple__. Kathryn likes red because it's like a heart or the color of love. She likes purple simply because it "looks amazing" on her and it makes her feel pretty._

Answer: _I'm gonna have to say Tiburon. He's a cutie like Itachi and he's like Alice. I do love Sanaa a lot though. It's hard to pick just one. Though, I'm surprised by how many of you prefer Tiburon. I figured most of you would like Sanaa from all of the feedback I get._

**QotC: **_If you could pick two Akatsuki members to be your body guards, who would you pick and why? By the way, they don't have their nifty jutsu or anything. No ninja-tastic abilities._ _My friend Brandon and I were having this discussion._

**WotC: **_Death = Muerte _

_Less than three you guys. You make me smile more than just about anything else in the world does._

_Besides my dogs. They still win._

_Bye~_


	19. Chapter 19

_Sup?_

_19th Chapter...  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

_Enjoy C:  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" Itachi asked from somewhere close behind me. He wasn't touching me, but I could tell he was extremely close to doing so.

We had stopped to camp for the night so the guys could regain their strength just in case we found something in the base Sasuke was leading us to. However, I didn't sleep at all. I hadn't slept since Tiburon was taken. I couldn't sleep without knowing he was safe.

It was the early hours of the morning, the sun was just now starting to shed light on the earth. Sasori had been keeping watch, but he was across the camp, petting Kathryn's hair. Her face was flushed and her eyes were puffy because of her heavy sobbing.

I shrugged a bit, not bothering to look away from the smoking embers of the fire. "No."

"How long has it been since you have slept?" He asked, taking a seat beside me.

"Since… Kumo." I guessed with a tired, uncaring grunt. "Don't really remember."

Itachi sighed and kissed the side of my head, nuzzling my face with his nose. "You haven't looked at me since then either. Do you blame me?"

I frowned. "I could never blame you for this, Itachi. Never you." I scoffed. "How could I? I was the one who suggested sending the kids out."

He sighed. "Because it is my job to protect the two of you. Not only am I supposed to protect you two as your escort, but as your husband and Tiburon's father. I failed. I allowed Tiburon to be taken, and I ended up causing you pain because of it. It is utterly unforgiveable."

I glared at the fire. "Bullshit Itachi. It wasn't something you could have foreseen, let alone prevented given the circumstances. You are the last person I would ever blame for this."

"Then why do you avoid meeting my eyes?" He asked, sliding one arm around my waist. His other hand caressed my arm as it slowly traveled to my hands. He entwined his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand gently. "Why, Alice?"

"I see Tiburon every time I look at you." I breathed, squeezing his hand back and resting my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes. "It hurts."

He sighed again, pressing his head against mine after kissing it. "I'm sorry."

"That, and I don't want you to see how much pain I'm in." I muttered. Itachi lifted his head off mine and straightened his posture to look at me properly. I continued to avoid his gaze.

"I can tell without looking into your eyes, Alice. I can hear it in your voice, and I can see it in your movements. To someone who knows you as well as I do, your pain is obvious. No to mention, I share your pain. I miss him too." Itachi informed me. He stroked my cheek with the back of his knuckles. "Will you look at me? Please?"

I stared at the fire for a second longer before looking up and meeting the shining, red orbs of Itachi's gorgeous Sharingan. I stared at him for a minute before leaning forward and kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you as well, Alice." He told me. He kissed my forehead. "We will find him. Trust me."

"I do trust you, Itachi." I sighed. "I trust you more than anything." I frowned and looked around when Sable started snarling. She lifted her head off of Sasuke's legs and stood, her hair standing up on end and her upper lip lifting to reveal her lethal teeth. "Sable."

Sasuke's eyes snapped open and Kisame shifted slightly in his sleep, his hand inching closer to Samehada the instant the situation registered in his head. Deidara's eyes opened when Sasori tapped his forehead with his knuckle and he slowly began sitting up.

"Ouch! Fucking nature! I'll sacrifice every Jashin-damned plant to Jashin-sama!" A voice from the darkness of the woods swore.

I deadpanned at the trees and Sable's tail began wagging and her vicious growling died. Itachi, Sasuke, and Sasori rolled their eyes. Deidara just lay back down and prepared to go back to sleep.

"You're so noisy you moron." A deeper voice grunted.

"Is it at all possible for either of you to sneak up on someone?" Sasori asked, glaring at the trees.

"Fuck you, you stupid doll." Hidan growled as he emerged into the clearing. Kakuzu stepped out off the woods behind him, mentally face-palming at Hidan's idiocy. Sable darted forward to greet Hidan and he returned her greeting with a grin. "Hey you big ass mutt." He rumpled her fur as he looked around at us before his eyes fell on me. "Ice."

I sighed and looked away from him.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with his perceptiveness.

"You look like shit." Kakuzu pointed out.

"Thanks." I deadpanned. "You sugarcoat things so nicely."

He shrugged. "I'm not big on sweets."

I rolled my eyes. "Because that isn't obvious."

"All teasing aside, have you slept at all Alice?" Kakuzu wondered.

"No." I sighed.

Hidan crossed his arms. "Ice Bitch. Come here."

I looked at him. "I'm not in the mood, Hidan."

"Ice." He repeated. "Don't make me come over there."

"I dare you." I challenged.

He rolled his eyes and stomped over to me, disturbing Sasuke who was trying to sleep. Sasuke glared at him, but he didn't set him on fire because Itachi gave him a warning glance of "don't do it because then he'll bitch all day".

When he reached me, he bent over and scooped me up, much to Itachi's displeasure. Itachi proceeded to punch the back of Hidan's leg, enticing a yelp from the moronic Jashinist. Hidan then carried me to the far end of the camp before setting me down and dragging me a bit further away. He faced me, his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed.

"What?" I asked.

"Kakuzu was fucking sugarcoating it. You look worse than shit." Hidan informed me. "I know you're stressing out about Tibby and Sanaa, but you gotta fucking get some rest. You know your pussy husband isn't going to let you run in the shit with him if you're dead on your fucking feet." He looked over me. "You look like you haven't slept in a fucking month, bitch."

I stared at him. "Hidan, you have no idea what this is like. You have no idea how much pain I'm in. You don't have any children. You don't have a son in the hands of someone who is likely to kill him just for being related to you." I closed my eyes. "You have no idea how much it hurts."

"I can tell just by fucking looking at you." Hidan stated. He stepped closer to me and hugged me. "Look Alice, we're gonna get the fucking brats back. Take care of yourself too though. It's not fucking good for you and if someone suggests you staying back while we go in, I'm not taking your fucking side."

I sighed and rested my forehead on his shoulder. "Shut up." He didn't move, however. I got the message after a moment and sighed again, returning the hug. "You're lucky I love you so much, Hidan. I'd never take this sort of shit from anyone else."

"That's because I'm your favorite." He smirked and squeezed me tighter. "Let's go back before your Uchiha decides to try and fucking kick my ass."

"What do you mean _try_?" I scoffed. He glared at me so I smiled at him and rolled my eyes as I led him back to the camp. I walked to Itachi when we entered the camp again and he pulled me to his person, kissing my forehead. He shot a glare at Hidan and wrapped his arms around me possessively. Hidan just stuck his tongue out at Itachi like the immature idiot he really is.

Sable trotted over to me when I returned to the camp and she sat directly in front of me, her posture perfect, her ears perked, her tail wagging, and her head cocked slightly to the side. Needless to say, like always she made me smile.

"Hey puppy." I smiled, petting her head. Her tail increased its pace before she raised her extremely massive paws up and put them on my shoulders so she could lick my face. "My Sable… I love you too baby."

Her ears flattened happily and she nuzzled my face.

"Alice." Kathryn said quietly, gaining my attention and updating me with the fact that she was awake now. "Kakuzu has news."

"Zetsu's out looking for the kids." Kakuzu informed me. "His black half had just checked in with Pein when we left. Apparently, the base you are heading towards has been abandoned for some time."

"That knocks one off of our list." Sasuke stated, scratching his head. "We'll move onto the next then."

"So be it." Kisame stated. His eyes drifted to me. "I know you're going to get mad at me… but I have to say something Al." When I didn't comment, he continued. "I don't think you and Kathryn should come with us. It's too dangerous." Kisame said.

He should have stopped while he was ahead.

I stared at him.

"I hope you are kidding." I growled.

He shook his head, his pained face turning into a very, very serious one. "I'm not kidding. It's dangerous Alice, and you haven't slept in days."

My eyes narrowed at him. "Kisame, I'm going to give you a chance to give up."

"Sorry." He sighed. "But I'm not giving up. I'm not going to risk you or Kathryn getting hurt or being held against us. That would be counterproductive and it would piss all of us off to no end."

"I agree with him." Sasori stated. He returned my glare easily.

"So do I." Hidan chimed in. He shrugged when I threw him a death-glare that could melt mountains, if not kill.

Kakuzu shrugged. "It would give me less things to worry about."

"Fuck you all." I snapped. "I'm going to get my son. I don't care if I have to go alone."

Itachi sighed. "Alice."

"Don't you _dare_ say anything about agreeing with them, Itachi." I snarled, pointing at him threateningly. "I will end all of you."

"You know I agree with them, Alice." He stated. "You're not a ninja. These sorts of things are beyond your capabilities, Alice. If we were fighting civilians, I wouldn't have a problem. But these are trained ninjas. These are people who have been raised to kill."

I glared at him. "And you're expecting me to stand aside while my son was kidnapped by them? Bull fucking shit. I would sooner rip Hidan's head off."

"You do that anyways though." Sasori pointed out.

I glared at him. "Shut up. I will gladly rip off your stupid, puppet head too, Sasori."

"Alice." Itachi sighed, gaining my attention before I snapped on Sasori. "You are Sonido's target. _You_ are the one he wants. You are in more danger than anyone else. I'm sorry, but I do not approve of you coming along. Kisame is right, as are the others. I vote that you and Kathryn stay somewhere safe while we go after the children."

"And I say fuck you." I snarled. "Don't get me started Itachi. Because I'll be glad to have this argument and I can guarantee you that I _will_ win it. I am going. I don't give a shit what you say. Refuse to take me, and I will go by myself."

Deidara looked up at Itachi. "They're safer with us than away from us, yeah. You know nothing Alice says is an idle threat. If she says she's going to go regardless, she will find a way and get there, even if it means walking. It would be better if we just took them and one of us stayed out of direct fighting to keep an eye on them, un."

"I agree with Deidara." Sasuke stated calmly, looking at his brother. "I will stay back and watch over Alice and Kathryn if need be, Nii-san."

Itachi sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. "Alright. So be it. I see the logic behind Deidara's statement and I honestly don't feel like arguing with you, Alice."

I patted his head approvingly. "Good boy. Being married to me all these years has at least taught you something. Do not argue with me when I want something. Because I will undoubtedly get whatever it is."

Itachi gave me a very dirty look, one that I returned threateningly.

"That's what you fucking get for marrying a stubborn bitch like her, Uchiha." Hidan stated.

Itachi sighed deeply and hugged me, kissing the side of my head. "Her stubbornness does cause issues, but it is one of her best qualities."

"It's also one of her worst." Sasori deadpanned, bumping shoulders with me as he stopped to stand beside me, his arms crossed boredly.

I flicked him off and he chuckled.

"Well, shall we get moving?" Kakuzu asked.

Kathryn stood up. "Let's go. I want my princess."

**Third Person!**

Sanaa sniffed quietly and wiped at her eyes as she clutched onto Tiburon. He had been taken from her twice more because he continued to try to escape. He had shattered the door to their cell the last time and it had to be replaced. The time before that, he almost blew a hole through the wall and when Big-Nose came to check on them, Tiburon hit him between the legs with a part of the wall that had fallen.

Each time, Sonido caught him after each incident and took him away for punishment. Each time, Tiburon was brought back with more bruises and he never slept naturally. Most of the time, he would just fall unconscious.

Sanaa's eyes flicked to the door as it opened and Big-Nose walked in with a strip of cloth wrapped around his eyes. They were severely damaged and he would never regain full sight. However, his eyes weren't completely useless. He could still see a little.

"Morning." Big-Nose greeted. Over the few days Sanaa and Tiburon had been there, Big-Nose had come to sympathize with Sanaa. He still hated Tiburon, but Sanaa was sweet to everyone, even if they didn't deserve kindness.

"Hi." Sanaa said weakly. Her voice was raspy because of her crying and her head hurt.

"You've been crying again." Big-Nose pointed out.

Sanaa looked down and squeezed Tiburon's unresponsive hand. "Tibby's hurt."

Big-Nose snorted. "The little brat deserves it."

Sanaa shook her head. "He just wants to go home. I wanna go home too. He's trying to get us free so we can go back to our family."

"Sorry kid. But that isn't going to happen." Big-Nose told her seriously. "Here's breakfast. Try to get him to eat. The boss has been getting irritated by his refusal to eat anything."

"He doesn't like this kind of food." Sanaa told him. "If you bring him fish or something, he'll eat it."

"I bring what I'm given." Big-Nose shrugged as he walked out of the room. He paused in the doorway to face Sanaa. "Either he eats willingly, or we force-feed him." A second later, the door shut.

Sanaa sighed sadly and flattened Tiburon's hair with her free hand. "Tibby… Wake up." She bit her lip and hugged him. "Please wake up. I don't want to be alone."

The fact that she was indeed alone drifted through her mind and she whimpered in fear and in sadness. She clutched tighter onto her best friend, willing him to wake up so he could make her feel better.

Tiburon always made her feel better.

"I wanna go home." Sanaa whispered. "Please let me go home." Her head snapped up at a sudden noise from by their cell door and her eyes widened.

"Hey kid."

**First Person Alice!**

"Hey guys!" Kisame called. "I sense Zetsu!" He stopped on the tree he had jumped to before grabbing the trunk and looking to the south. I looked over his shoulder, since I was riding his back.

"**And here I thought I would beat Hidan and Kakuzu to meeting up with you.**" Zetsu mused as he emerged from a tree nearby.

"Fuck you Zetsu." Hidan snapped.

"**Whatever. I found the base and the kids. Alice was right, they're being held by the Otokage or whatever he is.**" Zetsu explained. "**The base is about… four hours south of here if you hurry.**"

"Security?" Sasori asked.

Zetsu shrugged his shoulder. "**It shouldn't be a problem. Sonido has like two guards. One of them is fucking blind and the other is recovering from a concussion. His third guard was killed recently from the smell of him.**" His gaze flicked to Sable who was sitting on the ground by Hidan. "**You can thank Sable for that. She ripped out his throat.**"

I smiled. "That's my girl."

"**And from what I've learned, the blind guy just recently lost his eyesight and the concussion the other guard is recovering from is courtesy of one Tiburon Uchiha and his famous traps.**" Zetsu continued.

Itachi and I sighed.

Sasori and Kakuzu face-palmed.

Deidara and Hidan both laughed.

Kisame snickered.

Kathryn giggled.

Sable wagged her tail.

"**The kid has talent.**" Zetsu stated. "**I would hurry though. His traps and escape attempts are pissing people off.**"

"I'm surprised he's lasted this long." Kakuzu said with a sighed. "I mean, most people wouldn't put up with that sort of thing like we do."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "That's because he is our fucking brat and if we do try and punish him, Alice flips the fucking base over on our heads."

Zetsu's eye narrowed. "**I never said he was lasting without punishment. He was unconscious when I saw him. Sanaa is completely unharmed. Her caretakers love her.**"

I glared, anger coursing through my person at the thought of anyone touching my son with ill intentions. I would _slaughter_ anyone who even looked at him wrong. "Zetsu. Take me to that fucking sketchy-ass bastard right now."

"Uh oh." Deidara muttered. "She's going to kill something, un."

"You're damn right I'm going to kill something." I snarled. "Let's _go_. I _want_ my baby."

* * *

><p><em>More of a serious chapter...<em>

**_Fun Fact: _**_The octopus' testicles are located in its head._

Answer: _I would either pick Itachi and Kisame, or Kisame and Kakuzu. I would want Itachi simply for the fact that he's very good at hand-to-hand combat and really fast, not to mention, I'd have something to stare at. Kisame, I pick because he's hot and he's huge and muscular and he'd get the job done. Kakuzu was chosen for much the same reason as Kisame. I have a tall, muscular guy fetish._

**QotC:** _The kid with the Akatsuki beanie and I were having a discussion yesterday at musical. (His name is Jason btw) We were talking about Bleach and Naruto and I want to know which one you kiddies like better and why? Also, Espada or Akatsuki? Which group of super awesome villains do you prefer?_

**WotC: **_Pain = Dolor__  
><em>

_Meh, one more night of musical, lovelies. I'll be sad when it's over because then I have to go back to work :( I hate work. _

_See ya.  
><em>


	20. Chapter 20

_Sup?_

_I don't own Naruto  
><em>

_Enjoy  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

"Zetsu!" Sanaa cried. She leapt off the bed with surprising gracefulness and raced across the room to tackle the white half of one of her family members. She latched onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and crying on his shoulder, shaking uncontrollably.

"Easy Sanaa." Zetsu chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist. "You're okay. It's just me."

"Zetsu." Sanaa sobbed. "I missed you so much yeah! I wanna go home. I miss everyone. I want my mommy and daddy and Sori-Danna. Did you come to get me and Tibby?"

Zetsu smiled at her. "I missed you too, Sanaa. And don't you worry. The others are on their way here to get you and Tiburon. You'll be on your way home in no time. Until then, you be a good girl, and you make sure Tiburon minds. Understand? Alice is already livid, when she sees the state he's in, she's going to bring down Oto."

Sanaa shuddered with slight excitement about finally being able to go home. "Okay. I'll be good and I'll make sure Tibby is good. Are you staying, Zetsu?"

"No, I can't stay. I have to meet up with my other half. And then we have to lead the others here to get you." Zetsu admitted, petting her head. "But don't worry and be strong. Keep your chin up because you'll be home soon. Just a few more hours. I'll be back with my other half, your mom, Deidara, Sasori, and the others. Just have patience okay?"

"Kay." Sanaa sighed dejectedly, squeezing Zetsu's white half tightly one more time before letting him go. She pouted as Zetsu began disappearing into the floor. "Bye bye Zetsu."

"See you kid." Zetsu grinned, revealing his strange teeth. He continued to warp into the ground, leaving Sanaa alone with an unconscious Tiburon.

She stared at the spot he disappeared from for a moment before hurrying back to the bed. She latched onto Tiburon and began steeling herself for a few more hours of captivity. She shuddered and released a shaking sigh, willing her parents to find her faster.

She just wanted to go home.

**First Person Alice!**

It was night time by the time we finally reached the base Zetsu led us to. Halfway through our run, white Zetsu joined us and he merged together with his black half. It was pretty awesome to witness if I do say so myself.

Now we were outside the base that held my baby and my granddaughter/niece. If it wasn't for the fact that I was on Kisame's back, I'd have already broke down the door and stormed inside.

"Alright, our main focus is to first find the kids." Sasori began. "We'll deal with the Shinobi later. If we are intercepted, some of us will fight, everyone else will take Alice and Kathryn and move on. Sasuke, Deidara, and Hidan, you are to stay with Alice and Kathryn at all times unless you have no other choice. Kakuzu and Kisame will fight off our first wave of enemies _if_ there are any. Itachi and I will take the next batch."

Itachi dipped his head. "So be it."

"Fair enough." Kisame shrugged.

"Let's do this shit." Hidan said with impatience.

I nodded as Kisame set me down. "I agree with Hidan."

"Keep your heads." Kakuzu stressed. His eyes flicked to my brother-in-law. "Sasuke, how do you get in here?"

Sasuke walked up to the door and unsheathed his blade enough to cut open his hand. He drew a strange symbol on the door with his blood before placing his hand flat against the door in the center of the circle.

A second later, it opened silently and his blood symbol disappeared.

"Let's go." He stated, walking in first.

"Sable." I began, following after Sasuke immediately. "Find Tibby."

Sable's ears flattened and she sniffed the floor for a minute before her head snapped up in a random direction. She took off down the hallway, her nose dipping towards the ground on occasion to check her trial.

Sasuke jogged after her with me at his side. The others followed us and I could feel Itachi following along silently behind me and I knew all of them were prepared to fight off a surprise attack.

However, the base was quiet.

Almost _too_ quiet.

While my suspicious nature was putting me on high alert, we never ran into any enemy Shinobi. That both angered me and pleased me. I couldn't get my revenge this way, but it did make it easier for me to find my son.

Sable was standing in front of a door near the dead end of a long hallway. Her ears were flat as she sniffed the door quietly, knowing she had to be silent.

"Is this the room?" I asked, glancing at the wall.

Zetsu emerged from the wall and nodded. "Yeah. **Careful though.** The kids aren't alone."

Sasuke pushed me behind him as Itachi did the same. Sable stayed where she was, her body poised to charge. Sasuke silently broke the lock on the door before Itachi kicked it open and they both went charging in, Sable rocketing in behind them.

They went in first. Ninjas were awesome at seeing in the dark, but no one could see through the shadows as well as an Uchiha could. And Itachi and Sasuke were the best.

**Third Person!**

Itachi shot into the room with Sasuke, heading straight for the unfamiliar chakra source in the room. His hand closed around a throat an instant later and that throat connected with the far wall directly afterward.

The sound of a sword being unsheathed sounded through the room for an instant before a long, familiar silver blade was being aimed at the face of Itachi's captive. Sasuke stood beside his brother, both of them glaring at the man with blazing Sharingan.

"Don't move." Itachi warned as his Sharingan shifted into its final state. "I will not hesitate to rip you to pieces if you infuriate me anymore than I already am."

The man, who had a strip of cloth tied around his eyes shivered under the murderous intent the two elite Uchiha were leaking. "W-who are you? H-How d-did y-you get in here?"

"Tachi!" A small voice cried. "Sasuke!"

Itachi glanced around to see Sanaa jumping down from a cot, a happy smile on her face. "Sanaa."

"Baby?" Kathryn gasped. She rushed into the room, pushing Deidara's hands off of her. "Sanaa!"

Sanaa's attention snapped to her mother and she turned, sprinting for her parent. "Mommy!" Kathryn scooped Sanaa up the instant she was within reach and Sanaa latched onto her mother, relieved tears spilling from her shinning blue eyes. "I missed you Mommy yeah!"

"My baby." Kathryn cooed, tearing up with relief. "I've got you Sanaa. Mommy's here."

Deidara breathed a heavy sigh of relief as he entered the room. He walked straight to his wife and daughter, pulling them both into a hug. Sanaa moved onto her daddy when she was able and her happy tears only increased.

"Uchiha…" The blind man gasped. "You're the Akatsuki."

"Damn fucking straight." Alice snapped, marching into the room. "Itachi, kill that fucker. Rip him to unrecognizable pieces or I will."

Itachi glanced at Alice, his hand tightening around the man's throat when he began to protest. "If that is what you wish."

Sasuke backed away from his brother as Itachi dragged the blind man into the bathroom. He hadn't seen Itachi that angry in a very long time and never had he agreed to kill anyone who wasn't a threat so easily.

Looking around, Sasuke watched Alice as her eyes flicked around the room until they landed on something against the wall. Sable was there, her body partially on a cot attached to the wall. Alice stormed over there before she froze a few feet away.

"Tiburon…" She whispered.

"Al?" Kisame asked, walking over to her. He stopped by her side before looking at what she was gawking at. His eyes widened and he crossed the distance between him and the sleeping child on the cot. "Tibby… Sasori, come here."

Sasori walked into the room and over to Kisame. He looked down at Tiburon and his eyes narrowed. He pushed Sable out of his way before kneeling beside the cot. "I'll check him over to see if he needs medical attention. Kakuzu, I might need you too."

Kakuzu, who was leaning in the doorway watching his partner being attacked with affection by Sanaa, looked around. He raised his eyebrow before walking over to assist Sasori.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he watched Sasori run his glowing hands over Tiburon's body, searching for any severe wounds before something clicked. His eyes flicked around the room and he tensed, realizing something was wrong.

**First Person Alice!**

I'm not exactly sure how, but I was certain I was going to kill someone.

More specifically, that creepy-ass bitch Sonido.

Why?

Because he touched _my _baby.

And for anyone who doesn't know…

I hate when people touch what is mine.

I didn't know where he was, or how to find him, but I was determined. I would tear the base apart to find the bastard who dared to hurt my son. And I wouldn't stop until he was dead.

I stormed down the hallways of the base, kicking open random doors, hoping to find him sleeping or something so I could smother him with a fucking pillow.

I was getting annoyed with the lack of slaughter and I was about to start shouting for him to come out, until I kicked down another door and my eyes finally landed on him.

He was sitting on a throne type thing, a scroll in his hand. His eyes widened at the sight of me standing in the doorway, and he looked surprised that I was there.

"There you are you son of a fucking _bitch_!" I shouted, pointing at him. "I'll show you what fucking happens to the low lives that hurt children. And I'll make sure to teach you an extra lesson on what happens to shitty creeps like you who dare to touch _my_ son."

I went off on a… rage of swear words, threats, and insults that I wasn't even aware that I knew. I even cussed him out in Spanish and I issued a very… elaborate curse that would have made Hidan and Jashin proud. Every word only made me angrier. Every second that guy lived, pissed me off.

He stared at me, his mouth dropping a little. "I was not expecting you, _Alice_. That was quite an… unexpected speech."

I ripped my sword out of its sheath and began marching towards him. "Well accept it fucker because I'm about to cut you to shreds."

"Is that so?" He asked, setting the scroll aside. He stood up and began walking towards me. "I'm impressed you found this place and got inside. And I am even more impressed you discovered it was me."

I scoffed, stopping so I could watch him. "It's kind of fucking easy when you leave one of these behind." I held up the forehead protector with the Oto symbol on it. "As for how I got here, my brother-in-law is rather knowledgeable of Oto and the bases in it."

Sonido's eyes sparkled slightly. "You truly are the only woman worthy of being my bride."

"I'd sooner die." I spat. "But I'm taking you out first." I started walking towards him again. "Hold still. Hopefully this hurts a lot."

Sonido chuckled and licked his lips as he stared at me. "How… delicious?"

I internally gagged, but kept stalking forward. I was so angry that I completely forgot he was a ninja and I was just a silly girl from a small town in southern Ohio who happened to jump worlds because of some logic-defying, mind-fuck.

I was so angry, I didn't see him draw a kunai from Jashin knows where.

"If I cannot have you, no one can." He told me.

I prepared to lob off his head but he grabbed my blade with his free hand when I swung. His hand squirted blood, but that only caused a spark of desire to spring into his eyes. I glared at him, anger the only thing registering in my mind, as he drew back his kunai and prepared to slam it into my chest.

_Fuck._ I mentally swore as blood splattered on my face.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, not in the mood for a fun Author's note. I'm actually in a rather foul one.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **I only have 25 more days of high school.  
><em>

Answer: _I actually prefer Bleach. Well, I did before it started getting lame. Kubo should have ended it after Ichigo schooled Aizen. Now though, I'd probably say I like Naruto better. Akatsuki win, simply because of the fact that I like all of the Akatsuki, and only like half of the Espada. Sure, Nnoitra is my third favorite anime character as a whole, but still. Akatsuki has Itachi and Kisame._

**QotC:** _If you could have three wishes and _**only**_ three, what would they be? That rhymes by the way..._

_**WotC:** Sangre - Blood  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	21. Chapter 21

_Yeah, 21 chapters._

_This story is going to be long. Fair warning.  
><em>

_I might even say longer than M,IMtK...  
><em>

_Sigh...  
><em>

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Is it even <em>possible<em> for you to control your anger, Alice?" Sasuke growled as he slid his sword further through Sonido's throat. "I mean, did you even see that he was armed and was intending to _kill you_?"

I looked at Sasuke, frowning at his presence at my side. Sure I was happy to see him, but I was confused as fuck as to when he got there and why he was there. "Sasuke?"

"Yes you fool." He said with a sigh. He ripped his sword from Sonido's throat before kicking him in the gut and sending his body across the room. "Are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he?"

I looked over myself, frowning at the tear in my shirt from Sonido's kunai. "It's just a scratch. I'm fine."

Sasuke rolled his eyes before shaking his head, sighing. He flicked my forehead. "Don't ever do that again."

"I was angry." I muttered, looking down.

"No shit." Sasuke deadpanned. "You were so angry you didn't even realize that he had been planning on killing you and yet you ran at him anyways."

I glared. "The asshole hurt Tiburon."

"I know." Sasuke stated. He cleaned his sword off with part of his pant leg before he sheathed it. "Let's go back. Itachi's chakra is about to explode."

I sighed. "He's going to be pissed."

"You should have thought about that before you ran off on your own." Sasuke scolded.

"Shut up Sasuke." I snapped.

He rolled his eyes. "Let's go. Tiburon's awake. I can sense his chakra and it is no longer dormant."

I nodded and began walking back to the room, sheathing my own sword after using my jacket to clean it of Sonido's blood. Sasuke and I reached the room in good time and the second I entered the room, Itachi rounded on me.

"Where have you been?" He demanded, zipping over to me and taking my face into his hands. "Why are you covered in blood? Who cut you? Alice!"

I sighed. "Calm down, Itachi. I'm fine. I'm covered in blood because Sasuke slit Sonido's throat while I was less than a foot from him, and Sonido cut me with a kunai. Chill. I'm fine."

His gorgeous eyes narrowed. "Do you have any idea how reckless it was for you to just leave without someone Alice? You could have been killed!"

"But I wasn't." I said boredly. "Sasuke was with me."

Itachi continued to rant, but I didn't hear him.

"Mommy…"

I looked away from Itachi and put my hand over his mouth to shut him up. "Be quiet Itachi. You can bitch later."

He narrowed his eyes at me for a minute until he saw I was walking around him and heading straight for the cot. His gaze softened and he kept his mouth closed even after I released him to go to my son.

I went to Tiburon and knelt beside the cot. Tiburon was sitting up, leaning against the back wall for support. He looked tired and there were bruises covering his adorable little face and his perfect skin.

"Mommy." He muttered, reaching for me.

I scooped him up instantly, taking great care not to cause him any pain as I held him close. I rubbed his back gently as I continuously kissed his head. "I missed you baby. I'm so sorry Tiburon. I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I'm sorry I wasn't there to keep you safe. I'm sorry."

Tiburon hugged my neck and squeezed it. "It's okay mommy. It's not your fault." He rested his head in the crook of my neck. "I missed you."

I bit my lip. "I love you Tiburon."

"I love you too, Mommy." He sighed. "Mommy?"

I hummed quietly. "What baby?"

"I'm sleepy." He muttered.

Smiling, I kissed his head. "Go to sleep then. I'll hold you."

"Kay." He yawned and closed his eyes, fully preparing on going to sleep.

I looked at Sasori. "Anything serious?"

Sasori shook his head. "No. He has no injuries other than bruises and cuts. He's fine and when we get home, Konan and I will get rid of those."  
>I nodded. "Thank you."<p>

"Of course." He said dismissively.

"I think we might need to give the kid a lesson on what not to do if he's fucking captured." Hidan said thoughtfully, stroking Tiburon's hair gently when he walked over to my side. "The brat has about as much fucking self-preservation as you do, Ice Bitch."

I sighed. "I know."

"He will be getting a lecture, have no doubt of that." Itachi stated, walking over to me and curling an arm around my waist. He kissed my cheek after placing a gentle kiss to Tiburon's head. "But only after he has recovered fully, whether it be physically or psychologically."

"Sanaa, however, behaved as she should have." Kakuzu commented, patting Sanaa's head. She was in her Danna's arms, holding her daddy's hand. She smiled at Kakuzu brightly.

Kisame patted my head and looked over all of us before raising his eyebrow. "Who wants to go home?"

Sanaa raised her hand. "I do!"

Tiburon lifted his head off my shoulder slightly. "Me too."

Kisame grinned at him and pulled a familiar stuffed shark out of nowhere. "Well then, let's go. I believe this is yours, Tibby."

Tiburon smiled happily and unlocked his death grip on my neck to grab his favorite toy and hug it tightly. He buried his face into his stuffed, fuzzy shark and smiled. "Thank you Kisa."

"No problem kiddo." Kisame told him.

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Let's go home."

It didn't take us all that long to get home. We stopped every night on our trek back because there was no way Kisame and Itachi could have carried me nonstop for at least three days at the speed we were going, and it just wasn't possible for Tiburon and Sanaa to be patient enough for that.

We reached Konoha in good time, spending about half a day there so I could deal with some politics and so I could pry Tiburon from his favorite uncle. Before long, we reached the Love Shack, I had a big, hour-long rant about how I was right about Sonido being a sketchy motherfucker and everyone who doubted me was wrong.

After coming home, things… went back to normal. But that was before the wave of politics and stuff would come crashing down.

I would be cherishing every day until my life was ruled by meetings with Shinobi and potentially even feudal lords. We did just kill a Kage. It was for a just cause and they broke the treaty first, but there was no diplomatic structure behind our actions. It was purely impulsive and… well… Ninja-tastic.

* * *

><p>I sighed tiredly before schooling my expression into the pissed off face I use when I don't want people to bother me. It always worked because it conveyed enough of my "I'm a bitch so I will kill you if you bother me" aura to where people knew I was ticked, but not enough of "I'm psycho so I can snap at any second" aura so that they were tempted to annoy so I did snap.<p>

This was good because Pein had literally yelled at me when he told me to keep my temper during this important meeting. After all, I had started a lot of shit, what with killing the Otokage, so all of the political trouble was kind of my fault.

If someone was to tick me off now, I'd probably crack because of all of the tension and my nerves were about shot.

I felt bad for making Pein deal with so much trouble, so I had taken the full blame. I had even take the blame for slitting Sonido's throat though everyone there knew Sasuke had done it. I didn't want him to have to deal with any trouble, so to anyone who didn't know, I killed the sketchy bastard.

Currently, I was heading towards Gaara's office with Sable, Tiburon and my two escorts, Itachi and Kisame. I had to explain the situation to him and let him know all of the boring details and how I was utterly sorry about my actions and how I wasn't ever going to do it again.

I was not sorry.

And if someone touched my baby again, I'd sooner rip their head than wait for it to be figured out politically.

So basically, I'd do it a thousand times over.

But they didn't need to know that, even though most of the Kage already did.

"Mommy."

I tore my gaze from the Kazekage's office and looked at Tiburon who was in my arms. "What baby?"

He touched my cheek. "Why do you look so angry?"

"I'm just annoyed, sweetie." I told him.

He rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. "Please don't kill Gaara. I like him."

I smiled and kissed his head. "I'd never even consider it."

Tiburon nodded with approval and yawned tiredly. It had only been a week since we had rescued Tiburon and Sanaa from Sonido. Tiburon was still recovering and he had blatantly refused to leave my side since. His night terrors had come every night since, and I was reluctant to let him out of my sight.

If Tiburon wasn't with me, he was with his father, and if not Itachi, he was with Kisame. He didn't let anyone other than us, Sanaa, and Sasuke touch him either which I was a little concerned about. He had started freaking out when Sasori and Konan tried to heal him and hid for about an hour afterward.

When I asked him, he didn't respond. Itachi assumed Sonido must have used a Genjutsu or something on him because Tiburon had no injuries or chemicals in him that suggested he was tortured into fearing the others.

Either way, it pissed me off and scared me.

Sanaa was better about it, she openly hugged everyone and basically went right back to being her normal, adorable self. However, she never allowed her parents or Sasori out of her sight. She could handle one or two of them being elsewhere, but when all three of them weren't within touching distance, she broke down and started crying.

I don't think I have ever seen Sasori so pissed off in my life.

I seriously believed he was going to summon Sonido from the grave just to rip him to pieces. Sanaa wasn't tortured, but she was still terrified by the experience, and Sasori was _not_ happy about that.

And to be quite honest seeing him that angry scared the living hell out of me.

"How are you feeling, baby?" I asked, glancing at him.

"Tired." He muttered.

The kid had been fighting sleep ever since he got home. I wasn't surprised.

"Go to sleep, love. I'll hold you." I whispered.

He shook his head. "I wanna say hi to Gaara."

I smiled and kissed his head. "Alright, but after that, try and sleep while we have some down time, okay?"

"Alright Mommy." He said quietly.

Itachi slid in front of me as we reached the doors and a few guards stepped forward to question us. Kisame pressed closer to me from behind and he placed a possessive hand on my shoulder while Itachi dealt with the guards. A low growl built in Sable's throat, but she calmed when I placed my free hand on her head.

"State your business." One of them ordered.

Itachi's spinning Sharingan was the reason none of the guards met his gaze and instead looked at me. "We are here to see the Kazekage. Kisame Hoshigaki and I are the escorts of my wife Alice, the Akatsuki's ambassador. She was summoned to see the Kagekage."

One of them made to ask me to confirm what Itachi said, but I waved him off. "He's telling you the truth. Let us through before you make us late. If you do, I'll be pissed because I am _never_ late." I glared at him. "Ruin that, and you'll be enjoying 72 hours in my husband's Genjutsu."

The guards bowed instantly and stepped out of our way. I smirked as we entered the office building and glanced at Itachi as he fell back to my side. "I love being able to use you as a threat. It's so efficient."

He smirked slightly at that. "I'm glad I can be useful."

"The most useful man I know." I nodded. "You and Kisame, that is."

Kisame snickered but didn't comment as we met Temari at the bottom of the stairs. Sable hurried forward to greet her, but didn't tackle her like she usually tried to do.

"Hey Alice." Temari greeted, dipping her head in Itachi and Kisame's direction. "Awe, Tiburon… Are you okay?"

Tiburon looked at Temari and nodded quietly. "Yeah, just tired."

I kissed his head before looking at Temari. "Hey Temari. Is your brother ready for us?"

"He's been waiting." She nodded. She led us to a large meeting room where she left us at the door to join Kankuro in sitting on either side of Gaara at the large table. A number of Suna council members were present and they took us in with an air of slight fear and mistrust.

"Sup?" I asked, walking to my seat directly across from Gaara. Itachi and Kisame sat on either side of me protectively and Tiburon adjusted himself in my lap. Sable lay down by me feet, her ears perked.

"What is that child doing here?" One of the council members asked.

My glare flicked to him and I narrowed my eyes. "This is my son, Tiburon. Where I go, he goes. He is the reason behind this meeting."

"This meeting is about the death of the Otokage by your hands." Another council member grunted. "Not about a little boy."

"And had Sonido not kidnapped my son, I wouldn't have had to slit his throat." I growled. "Had he not covered my son in bruises and tortured him, I wouldn't have killed him." I pointed at him. "Do not test me at the moment, old man. I've gotten maybe a total of seven hours of sleep in the past two weeks, and I'm so close to jumping over this table to punch you in the mouth it's not even funny."

Itachi placed a hand on my shoulder. "Alice, calm yourself. It's alright."

I sighed and closed my eyes, hugging Tiburon tightly to calm myself down. He always managed to help me relax in these situations. After a moment I looked up and smiled at Gaara. "Hi Gaara, how are you?"

He allowed the smallest of smiles to grace his adorable face. "I am well, thank you Alice."

"Hi Gaara." Tiburon said with a tiny smile.

"Hello Tiburon." Gaara said gently. "It's good to see you safe with your family."

Tiburon nodded and tightened his grip on me. I stroked his hair gently before sighing and looking at Gaara. "Let's get this over with. Shall I begin?"

"Please." Gaara nodded, waving his hand in my direction.

I sighed. "A little over a week before the death of the Otokage, I was in Kumo, holding a meeting with the Raikage for my Leader. As usual, Naruto Uzumaki, Killer Bee, Deidara of Iwa, and his wife Kathryn were bored with the political business and had become distractions from the meeting. The Raikage and I sent them out of the meeting with my son and Deidara's daughter to go and entertain themselves while we finished up." I sighed and tightened my grip on Tiburon. "Within half an hour three Oto Shinobi managed to kidnap my son and Deidara's daughter. One of them died when my wolf attached him and tore out his throat while defending the kids. The other two left with the kids and their fallen comrade, leaving behind only one clue to their identity."

"And what was that clue?" Kankuro wondered.

I glanced at him. "While trying to get away, Tiburon managed to knock off his captor's forehead protector and injure him in the process. The forehead protector had a sound village music note on it. So I knew instantly who had taken my children and why."

I cracked my knuckles as I clenched my fists. "It took us a week to find the base Sonido was using, but we did. And soon after, we found the room they were keeping the kids in. We broke in, restrained the guards, and tended to the kids. Tiburon was unconscious and covered in bruises from torture."

"Then what?" Gaara wondered.

I sighed. "I am viciously bipolar, and everyone knows that. Seeing my son in such a state set me off and I left the room while everyone was occupied by Sanaa and Tiburon, to search for Sonido so I could rip his head off. After searching a great deal of the base, I found him and I slit his throat with my sword." I pointed at my chest. "He managed to cut me, seeing as he had been aiming to kill me for rejecting him, but I killed him before he could." I shrugged. "Shortly after, Sasuke Uchiha found me and we went back to the others before leaving the base and heading back to the Akatsuki base."

Temari frowned. "Rejected him?"

"Sonido had an infatuation with me, and proposed to me." I growled. "Even though I told him I was already married and had a child, he still pressed the issue and obviously, he was insulted by my refusal to leave my husband." Itachi rested a hand on my knee and I grabbed his hand subconsciously. "So, he made to get me back by taking my son." I scoffed. "He said, as he was trying to kill me, and I quote 'if I can't have you, no one can'."

Itachi's eyes narrowed at that, as they have every time I told the story.

Gaara stared at me for a time before he sighed. "I fully support your decision, and I will continue to support the Akatsuki even though they breached the Alliance." He entwined his fingers, ignoring the gawking of the some of the council members. "You are a very good mother, Alice. Your actions were justified and I commending you for being so brave and loving." He dipped his head at me. "My decision is not based off of our friendship, but based off of your love of your son."

I had told Gaara about his mother's love for him during a visit way back when I was still pregnant. He had taken the news gratefully and happily. That was the start of a stronger relationship between the two of us. He and I understood each other, and I suppose, after what I told him, he understood a mother's love for her child.

He understood me and my love for Tiburon.

I smiled slightly. "Thank you Gaara, for understanding. And just so you know, had you been the one kidnapped, I would have done the same exact thing to get you back whether I was your mother or not simply because you deserve it."

"You are lucky to have Alice as your mother, Tiburon. Never take her for granted." Gaara told Tiburon who was watching everyone curiously.

Tiburon nodded and hugged me tightly. "I know."

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

About... a week later...

Itachi sighed stiffly as he walked towards Konoha's council meeting room. Tsunade's immediate backing of Alice had been angrily countered by the remaining elder of Konoha. Now, Tsuande's word was law, but she was required to have a more formal meeting than a brief explanation by a still fuming Alice and more than half of the uptight Akatsuki members.

The last remaining council member, Homura, demanded Pein to come to the village and petition for Tsunade's backing personally. Tsunade agreed, simply because she knew the old man had nothing better to do than to bother her about it and make her life Hell.

Pein agreed to the demands and he set out for Konoha with his four escorts immediately. Konan, Itachi, Zetsu, and Deidara accompanied him with Tiburon. Alice had gone to the Mist with Kisame and Kakuzu, leaving Sasori and Hidan to watch over Kathryn and Sanaa at the base.

Pein left Sasori at the base so his base would still be intact. If he had left Deidara, he doubted it would have been.

Itachi walked at his Leader's left tiredly with Tiburon in his arms. Tiburon was sleeping, having been up all night, trying to keep his mother from leaving him at home since he couldn't go with her. However, in the end, Tiburon had lost and settled with going with just his father to Konoha as long as he got to see Sasuke.

"This is really dumb. **I agree. Should I go ahead and eat the asshole council member to make this quick?** It would make things a lot easier…" Zetsu mused.

Pein glanced at him. "No. Now hush, we're almost there."

Deidara sighed. "Why did you bring me again, un?"

"Because I did." Pein snapped.

Konan smiled at Pein before looking over the two members he snapped at. "Just listen to what he says and this will be over quickly and we can go home. He's been irritated lately because of all of the paperwork and hassle this has turned into."

Itachi glanced at Pein. "Forgive me, Leader-sama."

Pein looked at Itachi. "I'm not irritated at what you did, more about the unfortunate consequences. I wouldn't have allowed you to go if I didn't believe you all were utterly justified in killing Sonido." He paused. "Not that I could have stopped Alice…"

Konan giggled but didn't speak as they reached the entrance to the building they were summoned to. Kakashi and Sasuke stood outside of it, looking bored.

"Welcome." Kakashi said cheerfully. "We've been expecting you."

Pein dipped his head in Kakashi's direction. "Lead the way."

Sasuke stepped out of Pein's way in order to walk beside his brother and nephew. Itachi poked him in the forehead, much to Sasuke's annoyance, but neither spoke. Soon enough, they reached the meeting room and were permitted entrance.

Pein took a seat across from Tsunade while his subordinates took places on either side of him. Itachi and Konan sat to his immediate left and right respectively. Zetsu sat by Itachi while Deidara took a spot beside Konan.

Tsunade looked over the Akatsuki members boredly. She would undoubtedly support them since their actions were justified. Oto had broken the Alliance first when they kidnapped Sanaa and Tiburon.

Speaking of Tiburon…

Tsunade smiled when she located the boy in his father's arms, sleeping quietly. Itachi was stroking his back gently and his attention seemed to be focused solely on the boy in his grasp. She never thought she would see the day when Itachi Uchiha would willingly forgo his typically threatening reputation so he could care for his sleeping son.

It was adorable.

Itachi focused on watching Tiburon's face while he dreamed, listening absently to the conversation between the Hokage, the elder, and Pein. Deidara added in firsthand accounts when necessary, but otherwise, it was just the three leaders.

Until someone questioned Alice's motives and insulted her entire person.

Itachi's attention snapped to the elder.

"She is impulsive and irresponsible. Who is to say she wouldn't do something like this again? How do we know she won't get offended by something someone does again and cause a war? She is too unpredictable." Homura growled.

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "Alice was acting solely for the purpose of rescuing our son. She would never jeopardize the Alliance for any other reason. Sonido broke the Alliance first and Alice acted on that."

"She is impulsive." Homura snapped.

"She is a _mother_ who would do anything for her child." Itachi countered. "And to be honest, had she not beaten me to him, I would have done much worse to Sonido than slitting his throat."

Homura shook his head. "Shinobi should not be so emotional or hold such attachments. Your wife is a fool who is ruled by her emotions."

Itachi nodded. "That is true. For Shinobi. The last time I checked, my wife was not a ninja. She was not raised on our beliefs, nor does she agree with them in the slightest. She is not bound by our rules and customs because her land does not share the same rules and customs." Itachi's Sharingan span angrily. "And I would appreciate it if you stopped speaking ill of my wife, elder. You've done enough to my late family. I will not allow you to do anything to my current one."

The temperature of the room dropped thirty degrees and Sasuke's chakra flared angrily at the same time Itachi's did. The elder paled at being the focal point of Sasuke and Itachi's anger. He fell silent and closed his eyes, dipping his head in Tsunade's direction, having seen the reasons behind Alice's moves.

Though, the two pairs of Sharingan glaring at him helped him make a quick agreement.

"Well…" Kakashi mused. "Rather than pissing off two very powerful Uchiha, I think we should forgo conversation and reach a decision." He glanced at the Hokage. "Tsunade-sama, the choice is yours. Will you continue to hold true to the Alliance and consider the Akatsuki your allies?"

Tsunade nodded. "Absolutely."

Pein dipped his head in Tsunade's direction. "Your understanding and support is greatly appreciated."

She waved him off. "I supported you all from the second Alice broke down my door and began ranting about Sonido's screw up. It just had to be done in a more formal way, I suppose."

Pein nodded and stood. "We will take our leave. Thank you once more."

His subordinates stood as well and Itachi threw a look in his brother's direction before he left the room. "Otouto, Tiburon will throw a fit if he doesn't get to see you before we leave. So meet us at the gate."

Sasuke dipped his head, smirking a bit at the sleeping four-year-old in his brother's arms. "Yes, Nii-san."

* * *

><p><em>Time skip is approaching soon.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Halle Berry's stunt double in _Catwoman _was a man._

Answer: _1. I would wish for everyone in my immediate family who has health issues to be cured, dogs included. 2. Money. Just enough so I could go to college and begin to make my own so I can support myself as well as get everything settled and in order. 3. I would wish I had the ability to self insert myself into any anime, movie, book, world that suited my fancy._

**QotC: **_If you could self insert yourself into any_ **one**_ book, movie, anime, manga, or world, what would you pick? And why that one?_

**_WotC: _**_Home - Casa_

_So yeah... my dog is dying. She can't walk, she is having trouble breathing, the knobs on her hips because of the hip disease she has are enormous, she won't eat though she is constantly drinking water, and she just looks so worn out. I've been sleeping on the floor beside where she's been lying because she can't stand being alone. Dolly hasn't left her side besides when she has to go to the potty. We're probably going to have to put her to sleep soon, just so she's not in so much pain.  
><em>

_I've had her for over ten years and she was only supposed to live for one.  
><em>

_I will probably end up dying when she does. Fair warning.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	22. Chapter 22

_So... Yeah._

_Enjoy.  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>What's the one game <em>every<em> average child plays when they are kids?

House.

That is exactly what Tiburon and Sanaa were doing, and it was probably the most adorable thing I have ever seen.

Tiburon was the "Daddy", Sanaa was the "Mommy", Sable was the dog and one of Sanaa's baby dolls was the baby.

They were playing in my room since I was babysitting them because Deidara and Kathryn were doing… something. Kisame and Sasori were training, as were Hidan and Kakuzu, Pein and Konan were being Leaders, and Itachi was sitting on the foot of the bed, tending to his ninja tools.

I sat by the head, reading a book and listening to my kids play house.

The kids were starting to get better. Tiburon and Sanaa were now okay with being alone together so long as they were in the base and could feel the chakras of the others. Tiburon still had night terrors while Sasori and Deidara had learned to periodically check on Sanaa or else she would start crying from being away from them for too long.

Neither of them went outside without one of the members, or myself and Kathryn. And Sable stayed with the kids pretty much as all times.

Sanaa still slept in Sasori's room with him there to watch over her, and Tiburon alternated between staying with Kisame and Itachi and I. He tried to sleep in his room every now and then with Sable, but he always ended up going to Kisame or coming to me and Itachi.

I wish I could kill Sonido for every second of sleep he stole from my son and every tear he caused Sanaa to shed.

"How come I can't go to work with you?" Sanaa asked, petting Sable, regaining my attention.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side at her. "Because you need to take care of the baby and keep Sable company. Plus, mommies can't use chakra so you can't be a ninja."

I smiled and shook my head.

"But Konan uses chakra." Sanaa pouted. "And I can use chakra. So can Sakura and Ino and Whore-face and Hinata and Tsunade-sama and Temari."

Just so you know, Whore-face is Karin. The kids didn't see her much because she avoided me like the plague. During my pregnancy, I almost succeeded in killing her because she pissed me off. Honestly, if Sakura and all of the Akatsuki hadn't been there to separate us and heal Karin, she would be dead.

Tiburon was stumped. He frowned for a minute before looking at Itachi. "Daddy?"

Itachi looked up at Tiburon and away from a spotless kunai. "Yes?"

"Can mommies use chakra?" Tiburon asked.

Itachi raised his eyebrow. "I'm not sure I understand your question."

"Mommy and Kitty can't use chakra, but Konan can. Is it because Mommy and Kitty are mommies and Konan's just a girl?" Tiburon wondered.

Itachi's raised his eyebrow and looked to me for help. I just smiled at him, letting him know he had to take this one on his own. He looked back at Tiburon before setting down the objects in his hands. "Your mother and Kathryn are special. Women can use chakra just as easily as men can. Sanaa can use chakra and so can Konan because they were born to be Kunoichi. You and I and the other Akatsuki members are able to use chakra because we were born to be Shinobi." His eyes flicked to me. "Your mother and Kathryn were not."

Tiburon raised his eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. "What were they made to be then?"

Itachi looked around at me.

"Where I come from Tiburon, there are no ninjas." I explained. "Kathryn and I come from a place very different than this. So chakra isn't a part of us. Sanaa can use chakra because her daddy can use chakra, just like you can use chakra because your daddy can."

Tiburon blinked as it registered in his head. "Oh! So Sanaa can be a ninja with me even though she had a baby?"

Itachi did a double-take.

"Yes she can." I snickered, smirking at a thoroughly confused Itachi.

When he's concentrating on something that fucks with his OCD, he doesn't pay attention to anything else. He's almost as bad as I am.

Sanaa beamed. "Yay!" She hugged Tiburon. "We can work together!"

Tiburon grinned. "Good!" His smile faded. "But who is gonna watch the baby?"

"Uh… Icy and Tachi can watch her." Sanaa concluded. "Icy, Tachi, will you watch me and Tibby's baby so we can go be ninjas?"

Itachi just stared at the doll like it was insulting him. I nudged him with my foot before nodding. "Sure we can sweetie. Just set her there."

Sanaa set the baby on the bed beside Itachi before kissing her forehead. Tiburon copied her before they grabbed each other's hands and ran from the room. Sable trotted after them, hoping to be the center of attention.

Itachi looked at me after they left. "Explain."

I laughed. "They're playing house."

He stared at me. "House…?"

"It's a game kids play. They mimic their family activities and take on different roles, mostly the roles of their parents. If you weren't so OCD when it comes to your ninja weapons, you'd know that Tiburon is the dad, Sanaa is the mom, Sable is the dog, and Tibby and Sanaa had a baby which is that." I pointed to the baby doll. "There's no harm in it."

Itachi stared at me. "You played this when you were a child?"

"You didn't?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I didn't play games very often. Most of my time was spent training or studying."

I sighed and set my book aside before extending my arms towards him. "Come here."

Itachi raised his eyebrow before getting off the bed, walking around it to my side. He set his knee on the edge of the mattress before climbing on it so I could wrap my arms around him. He rested his head on my shoulder, kissing my neck, smiling slightly when I kissed the top of his head. "What did you need?"

"It makes me sad to think of your deprived childhood." I pouted. "We can play house if you want."

He rolled his eyes. "We don't need to play. We basically have that scenario in our everyday life."

"Tiburon and Sanaa can be the parents and we can be their kids." I suggested. "It'll be fun. I've always wanted to sneak around my parents."

"I would rather not think about Tiburon or Sanaa having a child until they are at least your age." Itachi sighed. "And that would be inappropriate, Alice."

I pouted. "Don't say that like you're so much older than me."

He chuckled. "My apologies."

"WHAT UN?"

Itachi and I exchanged a look.

**Third Person!**

Tiburon beamed as he and Sanaa took off out of his parents' room to go and play ninja for a little bit before going back to playing house. They weren't allowed to go too far away from his parents since they were being babysat, but he did want to use the couches to make himself jump higher so he could practice his chakra jumping.

The pair of them ran to the living room and they darted to separate couches instantly.

"What should we do?" Sanaa asked.

Tiburon rubbed his chin in thought, having seen people do it on TV. "Let's put the cushions on the floor and jump from couch to couch and use the cushions as stepping stones. The base floor can be lava.

Sanaa brightened up. "That sounds like fun!"

Tiburon smiled. "I'll get this couch, you get that one and well get the last one together."

"Kay!" She chirped.

They quickly set up their course before the game began. They then spent the next fifteen minutes, giggling and laughing loudly as they bounced around the living room, enjoying themselves to no end.

However, their volume and rowdiness caught the attention of some of the other members.

"What the fuck are you brats doing?" Hidan asked, leaning against the doorway to the living room.

Tiburon paused in mid-bounce to look at his uncle. "Playing the Lava Game."

Hidan stared at him. "The fuck?"

"They're just playing a game, Hidan. **Though they are being rather loud.**" Zetsu stated as he emerged from the floor.

Sanaa hopped over to him since he was beside one of the cushions and she latched onto him. "Hi Zetsu!"

Zetsu sighed. "**Hey brat.** Hi Sanaa, how are you?"

Sanaa smiled. "I'm good! How are you?"

"**Hungry.** We just ate. **Your point?** I swear you're a bottomless pit sometimes. **Shut up.**" Zetsu bickered.

"Hey baby, un." Deidara greeted as he entered the room with Kathryn. "What are you doing, yeah?" He rumpled Tiburon's hair. "Hey kid."

Tiburon smiled at him. "Hey Deidei, hi Kitty."

"Hi Tibby." Kathryn cooed, hugging him. "Hi Sanaa!"

Sanaa beamed at her parents. "Hi Mommy, Hi Daddy! Tibby and me are playing the Lava Game."

"I love that game!" Kathryn gasped.

Hidan stared at her. "Because you're fucking crazy, you skinny bitch."

Kathryn stuck her tongue out at him. "Shut up."

"Kisa! Sori-Danna!" Tiburon cheered. "Kisa! Come get me, the floor is Lava!"

Kisame chuckled as he entered the living room and he walked over to Tiburon before putting him on his shoulders. "Good?"

"Yep!" Tiburon nodded enthusiastically.

"What are you kids doing?" Sasori asked. "Why are all of the cushions on the floor? Alice is going to be pissed."

Sanaa sighed. "We were avoiding the Lava because we're ninjas, Sori-Danna." She told him seriously with attitude in her expression. The adults watched her, utterly amused by her cuteness. "We were working."

"Working?" Kakuzu asked, entering the room. "Did I miss something?"

"Me and Tibby were working as ninjas to make money, Kuzu-oji. Icy and Tachi are watching our baby for us." Sanaa told them.

Deidara froze and Hidan gawked.

Sasori, Kakuzu, and Zetsu did a double-take.

Kathryn merely cocked her head to the side. Kisame looked at Tiburon in confusion.

"Baby, un?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah!" Sanaa nodded. "Me and Tibby had a baby, Daddy."

"WHAT UN?" Deidara shouted, wheeling around to glare at Tiburon.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side, utterly confused as to why Deidara rounded on him. Kisame held Tiburon possessively dodging the blond when he lunged.

**First Person Alice!**

I walked into the living room, taking in the floored cushions with annoyance before I surveyed the rest of the room. Seeing Deidara trying to attack Kisame who was holding Tiburon did not help soothe that annoyance.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked. Itachi stood beside me, looking curious as he held Sable back so she couldn't attack Deidara for threatening Kisame and Tiburon. She relaxed when I calmed her with a muted order.

"YOUR BRAT GOT MY BABY PREGNANT, UN!" Deidara shouted.

Itachi and I stared at him while Sasori introduced his palm to his face. Kathryn and Hidan started laughing, Kakuzu just sighed and he and Zetsu left the room together, talking about idiots.

"What?" I questioned.

He glared at me. "You heard me. Give me that fucking brat, Kisame yeah."

I sighed. "Someone slap him or something."

Sasori one-upped me by hitting Deidara harshly in the back of the head. "Calm down you idiot brat, Sanaa is not pregnant, nor is she capable of getting pregnant anytime soon."

Deidara winced under the blow, but looked at Sasori in confusion. "What, un?"

"Sanaa and Tiburon were playing house you dumbass." I deadpanned. "It is not physically possible for Sanaa to have a baby at such a young age, and neither of them knows the main process that baby making requires."

Itachi shook his head. "You are an idiot, Deidara."

Deidara looked around before laughing nervously. "Oh… Sorry about that, yeah."

"Besides, she would have had a two hour pregnancy at most." Sasori sighed. "You are the biggest idiot I have ever met, brat."

Kathryn slapped the ground, laughing her ass off. "Dei! You're so cute!"

"What a fucking dumbass." Hidan cackled. "And you guys fucking call me stupid!"

Deidara pouted. "Shut up, yeah. It was an instinctive reaction. I didn't give myself time to think about it, un."

"We know." Sasori and I deadpanned.

I shook my head. "You better get used to the idea of having Tiburon as a son-in-law. Because it's going to happen. Whether you like it or not."

Deidara crossed his arms. "Not if I kill you first."

"Bring it, bitch." I stated.

Sasori and Itachi sighed as Deidara and I stalked towards each other, fully intending on fighting.

Because that's what we do here in the Love Shack.

Here, it's either kill or be killed.

We're not really that extreme, but we like to think we are.

* * *

><p>"When are Itachi and Kisame leaving?" Sasori wondered, walking into the kitchen as I cleaned the dishes from dinner because everyone in this base is super lazy.<p>

I glanced over my shoulder. "Some time before noon tomorrow. They'll only be gone for two days at most."

"Do you know what their mission is?" The puppet master asked.

"No." I shrugged. "Itachi wouldn't tell me. All I know is that it isn't dangerous according to him and Kisame. However, knowing them, they could have a ten percent chance of survival and still consider it not dangerous."

Sasori chuckled. "I'm sure Itachi would tell you that. And if not openly come out and say it, he would let you know by being glued to your side until he had to leave." He elbowed me. "Speaking of Itachi, where is he?"

I put the last glass back in the cabinet before looking at Sasori. "The last time I saw him, he was in here. He's probably in our room preparing for his mission. Why?"

"Curious." He shrugged before patting my head gently. "I'm going to go and scold Deidara for being in my room. I'll see you later."

"Hn." I nodded, patting his shoulder. "Have fun."

"I intend to." He smirked.

I left the kitchen and headed back towards my bedroom, making my path a little longer so I could pass through the living room, just to see if anything entertaining was going on.

And indeed there was something going on.

Sanaa and Tiburon were in the living room together, with markers and various hair and makeup accessories that I knew belonged to Kathryn. Hidan was sleeping deeply on the couch with Sable lying on his legs. The Jashinist was oblivious the new makeover he was getting and the marker tattoos he was acquiring over his torso and on his arms.

I smirked. "What are you two doing?"

Tiburon and Sanaa looked around hurriedly and they both hid their hands behind their backs. "Nothing." They said in unison.

I smirked. "He needs more lipstick, Sanaa. Tiburon, he needs more stuff on his belly. Draw me a pretty picture."

Both of them grinned and giggled quietly before turning back around to finish tormenting Hidan. "Kay!"

"Just don't make a mess and make sure you're out of here before he wakes up." I threw in, smirking when they told me they would be sure to do that. Smiling to myself, I headed towards my bedroom and slipped inside quietly.

Itachi was there, as I anticipated, and he was lying on the bed, going over his mental list as he muttered to himself. I smirked at the chance, because I never passed up an opportunity to touch my husband or mess with him, and walked over to him.

I sat on the bed beside him and slipped my hand under his shirt, rubbing it along his abs and up to his pectorals as I eased myself onto my side on the mattress next to him. Just as I reached his clavicle, I pressed my lips to his smirking ones.

He kissed me back, not bothering to move anything more than his lips. Satisfied he wasn't going to move, I continued molesting his torso.

When I pulled out of the kiss, I smirked at him, watching his face as he slowly opened his eyes to look at me. His Sharingan gaze softened and he lifted his head off the bed to kiss me gently.

"Hi." I greeted when he returned his head to the mattress.

He smirked his endearing Uchiha smirk at me. "Hello."

"You're sexy." I told him.

He chuckled. "Thank you. I extend the same compliment to you."

I stroked his abs, forcing his shirt to ride up so I could ogle at them. "Thanks."

He moved one of his hands away from his forehead to stroke my cheek. "You are very welcome, Alice."

I sighed and looked away from his muscles so I could look in his eyes. "Tell me again why you have to leave? I would rather you just lay here so I can touch you and look at you for eternity."

He smiled and a light chuckle escaped him. "If I laid here for eternity, you would not want to look at me and touch me any longer. I would lose my form."

"We can't have that." I said seriously. "I understand now." I rolled my eyes and kissed him. "You could be a puddle of goo and I would still love the very sight of you."

"And here I thought you loved me just for my looks." He teased.

I smirked. "It is certainly a plus that you're so hot. But it's only icing on the cake."

"You dislike cake." He pointed out.

"Itachi." I deadpanned.

He made a small noise of amusement as he turned on his side and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me closer before burying his face in the crook of my neck. "If only I could take you with me…"

"Who would watch Tiburon?" I asked.

"We would. You say that as if I would leave him behind." Itachi scoffed.

I smiled and hugged him back, kissing the top of his head and stroking his hair. "I love you."

"And I love you." Itachi assured me. "If only I was not required to take on missions…"

"It's all part of the job, babe." I sighed. "Don't worry. I'll be waiting here for you when you come home." I kissed his hair. "Just hurry."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"

Itachi raised his head and looked up. "What was that?"

"Hidan." I deadpanned. "He must have discovered the graffiti on his body from Tiburon and the new makeover Sanaa gave him."

Itachi chuckled. "Ah." His eyes flicked to the door as it opened and Tiburon and Sanaa came scurrying into the room. Tiburon grabbed Sanaa's hand and he dragged her towards the bed before they squeezed under it.

"Did you two clean up your mess?" I asked.

"Yes." Came the muffled voice of Sanaa. "We were hiding in the closet when we heard Hidan-oji yell. Tibby said we should hide in here so you and Tachi could protect us."

Itachi nodded. "Wise move."

I smirked. "You guys have trained them well."

"I have yet to figure out who trained Tiburon to make his traps." Itachi mused.

"It was probably Kakashi." I deadpanned.

Itachi stared at me. "That makes sense."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU LITTLE SHITS!" Hidan shouted.

Tiburon giggled from under the bed. "Hidan-oji is fun to mess with."

I snickered and looked at Itachi who was smirking. "He's just like you."

* * *

><p>A gentle kiss to my forehead roused me from my sleep before an extremely sexy voice whispered in my ear. "Alice."<p>

I smiled at the voice and latched further onto the muscular body my arms were wrapped around. "Hmm?"

A pair of lips pressed lightly against my cheek. "Wake up, my love."

I grunted at the voice and a soft chuckle made me shiver. I buried my face into the fleshy wall of perfect man-chest and shook my head. "No."

"Alice." The voice breathed in my ear. "I have to leave decently soon. And I cannot get up to get ready if you are latched onto me so tightly." A nose nuzzled my cheek. "Not to mention, I wish to be with you before I leave."

I huffed. "Stay then. Then you don't have to go."

"I wish I had that option." Itachi sighed gently.

I cracked my eyes open and looked up at him. "I can bitch at Pein for you if you want me to."

"That will not be necessary." He told me, smiling down at me. "Are you awake?"

"I can't ever sleep after you use that sexy voice of yours so close to my ear." I pouted. I hugged Itachi tighter and kissed his clavicle. "I love you."

"And I love you." He whispered, hugging me back and kissing my cheek. "Would you like to shower with me?"

I smirked at him. "I'll race you."

He chuckled. "But I have no intention of letting you leave my arms long enough to run there by yourself."

"Fair enough." I shrugged, latching onto him further. In the next second, he carried me to the shower in his arms within the span of a blink.

And well… we showered.

After our joint shower, we went to Tiburon's room where said little boy was sitting in his bed, his hair a mess and his arms wrapped loosely around Jaws. He yawned tiredly and looked towards the door when we opened it before smiling sleepily.

"Hi Mommy." He smiled. "Hi Daddy."

"Hey baby." I smiled, walking into the room. Itachi walked after me, greeting Tiburon silently with a kiss to his forehead. I kissed Tibby's cheek, smiling when he rubbed at the sleep in his eyes.

"How long have you been up?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Since Kisa brought me in here and Sable jumped on the bed." His eyes flicked to the giant wolf lying by his feet. Her head was on her paws and her eyes were closed, but her tail was wagging.

I scratched behind her ear before extending my arms to Tiburon. "Let's get you ready for the day. We got to hurry because your daddy's going on a mission with Kisame today."

Tiburon's face fell. "How long?"

"Two days at most." Itachi assured him as I carried Tiburon to his bathroom. "I will make it quick."

Tiburon raced through his morning routine with slight supervision from myself because I'm paranoid. When he was done, he instantly latched onto his father and refused to let go. Itachi accepted his presence in stride, wishing to be close to his boy before his mission.

The saddest thing in the world is when Itachi has to leave for missions. Tiburon becomes distraught when Itachi and Kisame leave and he pretty much begs them to stay or take him with them. Not only is it sad, but it's also so freaking cute I about die.

Itachi stood by the exit of the base, Tiburon in his arms. Tiburon had his arms wrapped around Itachi's neck in a hug and his legs were attempting to wrap around Itachi's torso. Itachi was stroking Tiburon's back gently, hugging our son.

"I wanna go with you." Tiburon muttered. "Can I come?"

Itachi sighed and glanced at me. "No Tiburon. You cannot come. I am sorry."

"Why not?" Tibby asked.

"It is too dangerous for you." Itachi told him. "Not to mention, you need to stay here with your mother and the others so you can continue your training."

Tiburon shook his head. "But you train me the bestest. If I go with you, you and Kisa can train me. And I'm a ninja, Daddy. It's not dangerous."

Itachi sighed and set Tiburon down on the ground, crouching before him and placing his hands gently on either side of Tiburon's face. "It _is_ too dangerous for you, Tiburon. Kisame and I cannot train you on this mission because we need to work. We will not have time. And we'll be gone for too long. Your mother would have a fit without you."

Tiburon opened his mouth to protest but Itachi hushed him by putting his finger over Tiburon's lips. "Tiburon, you can't come with me and Kisame. However, there is a reason you can't that I didn't want to tell you in front of your mother." His eyes flicked to me meaningfully and I busied myself with hugging Kisame while also listening in to play along.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side. "What Daddy?"

"I need you to stay here and protect your mother for me." Itachi told him seriously. "While Kisame and I are gone, your mom is in danger. It is your job to protect her. It is a job I would trust only you with."

Tiburon stared at him, eyes wide. "Really?"

"Really." Itachi nodded, stroking Tiburon's hair. "It is a very important mission."

Tiburon glanced back at me before looking at his dad. "Okay Daddy."

Itachi smiled gently and hugged Tiburon tightly, kissing the top of his head softly. "Thank you, Tiburon. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy." Tiburon told him, hugging him back just as tightly. "Will you and Kisa hurry?"

"We will be home as soon as possible." Itachi assured him. "Behave and listen to your mother."

"I will." Tibby nodded.

Itachi stood up and looked at me. He extended his hand towards me. "Alice."

I hugged Kisame one more time before walking over to Itachi while my big Shark picked up my baby shark and threw him in the air before hugging him.

I wrapped my arms Itachi's waist and kissed his cheek. "Nice move." I told him.

"I did not think it would work so well. I assumed he would insist that you come with me as well." Itachi said into my shoulder. "However, I am glad to see he is possessive enough of you to want to protect you in my stead."

I rolled my eyes. "As if anything could hurt me here with the others stalking me." I kissed Itachi fully. "I love you though. Hurry up because I already miss you."

He kissed me back. "Absolutely. I love you, Alice."

"Bye babe." I sighed. "See you Kisame."

"Bye kid." He grinned at me. "See you Tibby." He rumpled Tiburon's hair before joining Itachi in the exit of the base.

"Bye-bye!" Tiburon waved. Sable howled, sitting a few feet from me, her tail wagging because she's always happy.

With a last goodbye, Itachi and Kisame took off away from the base. When the doors rumbled shut, Tiburon looked up at me. "Mommy?"

"What baby?" I asked, looking down at him.

He reached for me, letting me know he wanted to be held. "I'm hungry."

I laughed and picked him up, hugging him close. "I'll make you some breakfast. And tonight, if you behave, I'll make you some dango."

He grinned. "Yay!"

I just hope he doesn't tell Itachi when he got home…

* * *

><p><em>Not in the mood to edit.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Regularly check your pets for bumps and lumps. And if you have a female dog, get her fixed. They're finding more and more cancers in dogs all the time these days and getting your pet checked out as soon as you notice the lumps/bumps could save its life._

Answer: _I'd probably insert myself into Naruto, Harry Potter, Star Wars, or Pokemon. Who wouldn't want to be a ninja/wizard/Sith Lord/Pokemon Master? First would probably be... Harry Potter, followed by Naruto, then Pokemon, and finally Star Wars. I would only be 100% Star Wars if that meant I got to keep Darth Vader.__  
><em>

**QotC:** _Favorite game to play a__s a child? Did you make up any, play with barbies or GI Joes? Did you play school or were you strictly board games?_

_**WotC: **Water - Agua. Walk - Caminar  
><em>

_I had to put Lexy, the dog that was dying, to sleep on Sunday. It's been... difficult to bear. She was probably the best dog in existence, but it had to be done. She was old, and she was in way too much pain. I still can't get the image of her laying there after the euthanization out of my head. I literally watched her stop breathing and I felt her heart stop. Sorry if I'm being too morbid for you. Deal with it.  
><em>

_And seriously, do not be afraid to message me. I will not bite your head off. I can't tell you how many of you have apologized to me for "bothering" me or something. I pretty much ask you guys every chapter to message me or review. If I didn't want you to message me, you'd know. Trust me.  
><em>

_Oh and to answer a few on a few chapters back: No, Tiburon wasn't having night terrors while he was unconscious. He wasn't unconscious all of the time. The rare times when he did sleep naturally, hence why he was so tired, he had them. You don't really dream when you pass out...  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	23. Chapter 23

_I know this is early, but I am currently staying up at OSU for the weekend, and I forgot my power cord for my laptop at home.  
><em>

_Therefore, my laptop will die before tomorrow.  
><em>

_Keep in mind that this chapter is_** not**_ a follow up chapter to the last._

_It is different, it just mirrors the last chapter. So yeah  
><em>

_Enjoy. I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"<strong>Itachi and Kisame are almost back.<strong> They should be home within like ten minutes." Zetsu announced as he emerged from the floor of my bedroom.

Itachi and Kisame had been away on a weeklong mission, leaving Tiburon and I behind. I was having weasel withdraws and I needed my Kisame fix. Tiburon was starting to get really bummed out because of the lack of Daddy and Kisa so hearing they were finally home lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

I looked at him and smiled. "Thank you for letting me know, Zetsu. But, what would you have done if I was naked? I did just get out of the shower."

"**I would have teased you about it.** We would have apologized for intruding." Zetsu shrugged. "**But we knew. **We waited until we felt your weight change because of the added clothes before coming up. **I wanted to come early to scare you, but he wouldn't let me.**"

"Either way." I snickered at his conflicting personalities before tossing the used towel into my clothes basket. "I'm going to wait by the entrance. Thanks again Zetsu. I'll see you."

He dipped his head. "**See you around, kid.** See you at breakfast."

I waved at him before walking to the entrance. Around the time I got there, the doors opened and Itachi walked in with Kisame at his side. His gaze fell on me and he darted to my side, lifting me off the ground and kissing me fully. "Alice."

I returned his kiss. "Welcome home, babe." I hugged his neck and looked over his shoulder at Kisame. "Hi Kisa."

He grinned at me and patted my head. "Hey Alice. It's good to see you kiddo."

"I missed you two." I admitted, forcing Kisame closer so I could kiss his cheek from Itachi's arms.

Itachi released me long enough so I could hug Kisame before he brought me back to his person possessively. "You are up early."

I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep. Zetsu let me know you guys were here."

"Hn." Itachi grunted. "Tiburon?"

"Still sleeping. He's in his room." I admitted. "He will be ecstatic to know you two are finally home."

Itachi nodded and looked at Kisame. Kisame grinned at him and a second later, I found myself flying through the base in Itachi's arms until we stood before Tiburon's bedroom door that was across the hall from mine.

I opened the door when Itachi set me down and the second I pushed open the door, a black blob tackled Itachi and began smothering his face with kisses with a long red tongue.

"Sable." Itachi grunted under her assault.

I snorted at his misfortune and helped remove Sable from his person. She attacked Kisame for a minute, before trotting back into Tiburon's room and sitting beside his bed protectively. I had slept in here with Tiburon last night. Not only for my own comfort, but so he didn't have any nightmares.

When Itachi wasn't home, Tiburon always stayed with me and I with him. I needed one of my boys at all times. Tiburon stayed with me because he felt vulnerable without Itachi's chakra and presence nearby. Even during the day, Tiburon kept me within his sights when Itachi was gone.

Though, that was also due to the fact that Tiburon was still struggling with being kidnapped and tortured by Sonido. He was getting much, much better, but he still had trouble with being alone, especially when Itachi and Kisame weren't there.

Had I been gone, he probably would have broken down.

I walked into Tiburon's room first, leading Itachi and Kisame inside. Kisame sat down on the chair in the corner and sat back, waiting for Itachi to get his loving in first because he's a considerate and sweet shark-ninja.

I fell back too so Itachi could rouse Tiburon.

Yeah… It's a lot harder than it sounds.

Tiburon is _impossible_ to wake up.

He was like his daddy. Both of them liked their sleep.

Well… only when he didn't wake up screaming.

But that's beside the point I'm trying to make here.

Itachi placed his knee on the corner of Tiburon's mattress before leaning over our son. He placed a gentle kiss to Tiburon's forehead before kissing his nose. "Tiburon."

Tiburon didn't stir at all.

Itachi smirked slightly and repeated his actions, nuzzling Tiburon's cheek with his nose a few times. Nothing happened, so Itachi nibbled on his nose gently. Tiburon stirred to scratch his nose and wiggle it a bit. However, he just went right back to his deep sleep. When that didn't work, Itachi tickled Tiburon's sides causing him to shift tiredly in his sleep and roll over to protect one side.

Itachi chuckled while Kisame and I snickered away. He pressed his lips to Tiburon's face and made a small farting noise against his cheek. Tiburon shooed him away before burying his face into Jaws who was wrapped up in his arms.

"Tiburon." Itachi whispered, shaking Tiburon's shoulder gently. "Wake up, Tiburon."

He didn't budge.

"He is out." Kisame snickered. "Did you drug him or something, Alice?"

I nodded. "Oh yeah. I do the one for me, one for you thing. If I shoot up, I give him a hit too."

"I thought so." Kisame nodded.

Itachi glanced at Kisame before pulling Jaws out of Tiburon's arms. He set the stuffed shark a few feet from our son and watched him calmly for a moment.

Tiburon frowned in his sleep and reached around him for his toy. He opened his eyes tiredly and looked around for his shark. When he saw it he reached for it, only to huff in frustration when Itachi picked it up first.

Tiburon looked at the culprit behind his shark's disappearance and narrowed his eyes. "Daddy, give me Jaws back."

Itachi smirked at him. "Tiburon."

Tiburon continued to frown at Itachi before his tiredness wore off and he smiled, reaching for his dad when he finally caught up with the situation. "Daddy? When did you get home?"

Itachi chuckled gently and picked Tiburon up, handing him Jaws and holding our baby close. "Just now." He hugged Tiburon securely and kissed the side of his head. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Tiburon yawned. He rested his head on his daddy's shoulder and hugged his neck weakly. "Don't leave no more. Me and mommy missed you and Kisa. Kay?"

Itachi smiled softly. "I will try."

"Kay." Tiburon nodded. His gaze flicked to me and he smiled before his eyes landed on Kisame. "Kisa." He reached for Kisame.

Kisame chuckled and got to his feet, taking Tiburon from Itachi when Itachi offered him up. Tiburon latched onto his namesake while Itachi used the chance to return to my side and hug me.

"How did the mission go?" I asked, kissing my weasel's cheek.

"Smoothly." He told me. "However, Kisame and I must report to Pein."

I nodded. "Go do that, and I'll begin making breakfast. Tibby, go ahead and get dressed and brush your teeth."

He yawned but nodded as Kisame set him down on the ground. "Okay Mommy."

"Thank you." I told him. "You two, go report and make it quick. I need my weasel and shark-man fix."

Kisame grinned at me and hugged me. "That rhymed."

I snickered. "I know." When he set me down, I trailed to the kitchen while Kisame and Itachi meandered their way to Pein's office.

I got started on breakfast immediately and soon enough, I was finished. Kisame and Itachi returned just before I had and Tiburon joined me a few minutes before them. After I finished breakfast, I sent Tiburon and Sable to go and rouse the other members so they could eat.

Breakfast progressed as usual and soon Tiburon and Sanaa departed with Kisame and Itachi to go and train. I went with them because I had nothing better to do and I sat a couple of yards from the lake by the base with Sable at my side.

Tiburon and Sanaa were working on walking on water. Tiburon had managed to stand on it, but he was still having trouble walking. Sanaa could walk and stand, but the water went up to her knees rather than just the bottom of her foot. Thus, she hadn't quite caught onto the trick yet.

Itachi and Kisame were really good teachers. In fact, all of the Akatsuki were. They had more patience with the kids than I had ever seen them have with anything else. Even Sasori would sit there as long as necessary for the kids to grasp a concept and try to master it.

Plus, when Itachi and Kisame taught Tiburon and Sanaa, Tiburon always did his very best to try and make his daddy and his Kisa proud.

"It is much like trying to climb a tree with chakra." Itachi explained when Tiburon managed to stand properly in the water. Sanaa was beside him, submerged about a foot lower than him. Itachi smirked slightly and picked Sanaa up, holding her out of the water so he could explain. "You have to focus the chakra into your feet, but because water is always moving, you have to be forever conscious of the shifting surface and adjust your chakra levels accordingly. The more you practice, the easier that will be."

"Kay." Sanaa nodded.

Itachi eased her back onto the surface of the water. "Feel the waves and focus. Imagine your chakra is mirroring the ripples."

Sanaa closed her eyes in concentration and made the generic ninja hand sign as she focused. Itachi slowly eased her further onto the water and smirked in approval when she held her ground on the surface. His hands were on her, but I knew from the way he was holding her that it was just to give her some security while she focused.

"Open your eyes Sanaa, but concentrate. Keep doing what you're doing." Itachi said gently. "I am letting you go now."

Sanaa opened her eyes when he released her and looked down. She was successfully standing on the water "I did it!"

"Very good." Kisame grinned, rumpling her hair. "Well done Sanaa."

Tiburon beamed at his best friend. "Good job Sanaa!"

"Thanks!" She giggled. She lifted one foot of the water and placed it back down before doing it to her other foot. She grinned, utterly pleased with herself when she didn't sink. "Look Icy! I did it!"

I smiled. "Good job, sweetie. I'm very proud of you."

"Alright. Now it's time to walk." Kisame announced. "Tibby, you first."

Tiburon hesitated a bit before cautiously taking a step forward. His foot sunk beneath the surface but before he fell, Kisame grabbed him.

"Take it slow." Kisame told him. "It's not as hard as it looks. Feel the waves with your foot before you put pressure on it. Adjust your chakra then and when you've got it, keep moving. You'll get the ripple pattern down soon and then it will be as easy as breathing."

Tiburon nodded. "Okay."

"I won't let you fall." Kisame assured him. "You've got this Tibby."

Applying Kisame's advice, Tiburon managed to take a step forward on his own. He took another step before a grin erupted on his face. He took a faster one and another before he got over his fear and ran to Kisame over the water.

Kisame picked him up when he reached him and hugged him. "Great job kiddo."

Seeing Tiburon walk on water for the first time made me remember when he took his first steps as a baby. It was probably the most gratifying feeling as a mother to see my baby boy walking.

All of the Akatsuki were there in the living room along with Kathryn, Sasuke, Jūgo, Suigetsu, Sable, and I. Tiburon had walked with help and using things to help him move about before, but then, he was determined to get across the room and there were no handholds for him.

He tried to crawl at first, but every time he tried, Sasuke would put him back on his feet. Kisame sat directly across from Tiburon with his arms out and a small stuffed shark with a bow on it in his lap.

With lots of encouragement, Tiburon took a step forward and stumbled. However, he got right back on his feet and walked right over to Kisame.

I was so proud of my baby, and I thought it was the cutest thing that Tiburon went to Kisame first and then proceeded to try and eat Kisame's nose as a victory snack until Kisame gave him Jaws as a reward.

Jaws has forever been with Tiburon since.

"Mommy!" Tiburon called from Kisame's arms. "Did you see? I walked on water!"

I nodded. "Yeah baby. I saw. You did a very good job. I'm very proud of you. You're gonna be better than your daddy when you get older." Itachi raised his eyebrow at me before smiling slightly when I threw him a smirk.

Tiburon hugged Kisame's neck. "And Kisa!"

Kisame chuckled and rumpled his hair. "And me." He set Tiburon back on the water. "Keep practicing. That way it will stick."

"Alright." Tiburon nodded, walking around on the water, his eyes locked on his feet as if trying to memorize everything they were doing.

Kisame walked closer to Sanaa and stood beside her while Itachi backed away from her.

"Sanaa." Itachi stated. "Walk to me. Remember what Kisame told Tiburon and apply it. You can do this. You have been able to walk in the water before. Now you just need to walk on it."

Sanaa nodded hesitantly. "Okay Tachi." She frowned in concentration for a moment before taking a step. When she didn't sink at all, she took another step. Confidence rising, she continued walking over to Itachi until she reached him. When she did, she looked up at him with a bright smile on her face.

Itachi rumpled her hair. "You did well, Sanaa."

"I wanna show Sori-Danna and Daddy." Sanaa said excitedly.

"I'm on it." I called, whipping out my cell phone to call Kathryn.

Three rings later, she answered. "_Whatchya doin', Momma?_"

"Come out to the lake. Bring Sasori and Deidara." I told her. "Make it quick."

"_Okay!_" She nodded. "_We'll be out in a jiffy!_"

I shook my head at her antics and ended the call. Three minutes later, Deidara and Sasori slowed to a stop by my side as they ran out from the base. Kathryn jumped down from Deidara's back and hugged me. "Hi Momma. What did you want?"

"Look at your daughter." I stated.

Sanaa jumped up and down when she saw her parents and Sasori before she ran across the surface of the water and to the bank I was sitting on. She collided with Sasori. "Sori-Danna! Guess what! I can walk on the water now! Me and Tibby can both do it! Tachi and Kisa showed us how!"

Sasori looked down at her and smirked proudly. "Well done, Sanaa. I can see that and I am proud of you."

She hugged him tightly. "Thank you!"

Kathryn squealed. "My baby's a little ninja! I'm so proud of her!" She scooped Sanaa up and hugged her. "Good job baby!"

Sanaa giggled excitedly. "Thank you mommy!"

"Good girl, Sanaa un." Deidara praised. "You're doing very well. You get your awesome skills from me, yeah."

"And so is Tibby!" Kathryn stated, bouncing with her daughter in her arms. "Good job Tibby!"

Tiburon looked up at her and beamed. "Thanks Kitty!"

I smiled and pet Sable, watching my son and Kathryn's daughter. "Our little ninjas are growing up so fast…"

* * *

><p><em>Next chapter will be time skip chapter.<em>

_I want you all to know that it amused me while I was writing it.  
><em>

_**Fun Fact: **OSU quads are so packed...  
><em>

Answer: _My cousins, and my brother, and I we all used to pretend we had super powers. Also, hide and seek, tag, and other various invented games._

**QotC: **_Favorite sport?_

_**WotC:** tiempo - time**  
><strong>_

_Yeah, laptop is at 27% so no long author's note.  
><em>

_See ya.  
><em>


	24. Chapter 24

_Repetitive questions!_**  
><strong>

_lol, here is the time skip chapter.  
><em>

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

For some odd reason, it was like an outside force of some sort had forced me into this strange room. There I was, minding my own business, cuddling with Sable, when suddenly I found myself placed in this nice little library complete with a fire place and comfortable couches.

Though, I was not alone. Kathryn was here with me, as were Itachi and Deidara.

Itachi looked around curiously. "Where are we?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, babe." I mused, inspecting one of the books that was standing out in contrast to all of the others. There was like a glow around it like the treasure chests from Zelda or something.

And that just demanded that I picked it out.

"This is nice, un." Deidara commented, looking around. "Is this part of the Love Shack, yeah?"

"Love Shack is a little old place where, we can get together~!" Kathryn sang under her breath as she poked the couches suspiciously. She looked around and shook her head. "Nope! I've never seen this place before. I'd have found it already."

"Maybe this is where Kakuzu stashes all of his books…" Itachi mused. He glanced over to me. "Alice?"

"This book…" I began. "It says: Breaking of the Fourth Wall for Dummies." I rolled my eyes. "Stupid name…" I flipped it open and read the first page I opened to. "Time Skips… huh… Maybe we should do these steps and we'll figure it out."

"Time skips?" Itachi repeated. "How much time? And why are we skipping time?"

Kathryn shrugged. "Maybe because life would get too boring if we had to read about every day until something exciting happened…"

I scoffed. "Life with me is never boring."

Deidara gave me a deadpan expression. "Shut up, Alice un."

"I'll fight you, Blondie." I snapped. I read over the intro before finding number one. "Number one: Give a brief summary on your opinion of the time from before the skip to where the story resumes." I sighed. "The intro said five years."

"Five years!" Kathryn repeated.

"Yep." I nodded. "What is the first thing you remember from five years ago?"

"Sanaa learning how to walk on water, and killing that bastard Sonido, un." Deidara stated.

"Good. We'll go from there." I nodded, walking over to one of the couches. I sat on it and leaned into Itachi when he took a seat beside me. Kathryn and Deidara sat with us, on the couch across from us. Deidara instantly put his feet on the coffee table between the couches.

"Why don't you start us off, Alice?" Itachi wondered.

I shrugged. "Alright… So yeah, the five years after killing Sonido were some of the best of my life. Tiburon was growing up, even though I kind of wanted him to say his cute little self, and he was filling out."

"He is so cute." Kathryn giggled. "I miss their baby-ness."

I glared at Kathryn. "Let me summarize."

"But you're boring!" She whined. "Let me do it!"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

She smiled. "Yay!" She settled into her seat, latching onto her husband. "So starting off with Tibby… Tibby's resemblance to his daddy was ridiculous. The only thing that separated him and Itachi from being identical was the fact that Tibby didn't have tear troughs and he didn't have two black eyes. Also, his hair wasn't long enough yet to put in a ponytail, but that was only a matter of time." She threw a smile in Itachi's direction. "He really does look just like you."

Itachi shrugged. "Typical Uchiha traits."

"He has good genes." I smirked, patting Itachi's chest. "Even with his similitude to his father, Tiburon has grown to be more like me in personality than I thought possible."

"It's actually kind of scary, un." Deidara admitted.

"Danna loves it though." Kathryn snickered.

Itachi chuckled. "Everyone else dreads the idea of three sarcasm masters ruling the base, however." He kissed the side of my head. "Tiburon is the same with everyone, whether he knows them or not. No one is ever spared from his attitude."

I smirked. "I told you guys he was better."

"Don't even start this argument." Kathryn said threateningly.

Rolling my eyes, I continued with our summary. "Sanaa has started filling out as well."

"She is starting to look more like Kathryn in the face." Itachi commented, looking at Kathryn.

"But her eyes retain the same gorgeous blue as Deidara's and she didn't inherit Kathryn's height." I added. "She was short like her father, but skinny and beautiful like her mother."

Kathryn smiled. "She is the most gorgeous little thing in the world."

"I disagree, un." Deidara stated.

Kathryn glared at him.

Deidara chuckled and kissed Kathryn gently. "She's tied for first with you, yeah."

Cue squeal and glomp.

"Okay you two. I want to go home." I snapped. "And I have a feeling whatever brought us here isn't going to release us until we're finished."

Kathryn looked away from sucking face with Deidara. "What were we talking about?"

"Sanaa." Itachi reminded her, playing with the ends of my hair.

"Oh yeah!" She chirped. "My baby's hair is getting long, but she keeps it in a ponytail like her daddy, just without the huge strip of hair blocking her pretty little face."

"Thank Jashin." I scoffed. "Sasori would shave it off. She's already too much like Deidara."

"Hey!" Deidara whined. "Don't say that like it's a bad thing, yeah."

I waved him off. "Sanaa acts like both of her parents, really. When she's around people, she acts just like her mother and is the biggest social butterfly I have ever seen."

Itachi nodded. "Though, when she is training, or when it is just her and Tiburon, she is Deidara number two. She is easily riled up, she gets cocky, she loves a challenge, and her verbal tick is so much more evident."

"When she's with just her mother, her girly side comes out full blast." I laughed. "It's actually a little ridiculous."

"Her views on art however, are still split between her father's and Sasori's." Itachi continued.

"That's because Danna feeds her his bullshit about art being eternal, yeah!" Deidara protested. "Art is an explosion!"

"Shut up Deidara." I snapped. "She can't decide which one she agrees with because both her father and her Danna are nuts, so when asked or caught in the middle of one of their arguments, she just declares herself art and throws her hands in the air."

"I believe you already have, but I will reiterate." Itachi began, "Sanaa is a lot like Kathryn."

I scoffed. "Yes she is."

Kathryn hugged herself. "I take that as a compliment. Sanaa is perfect so you're just comparing me to perfection."

"Whatever, shut it." I ordered. "Getting off of the kids, we'll go to the boring stuff." I sighed. "While the years after Tiburon and Sanaa were kidnapped were good, they were also really annoying. Killing the Otokage was not accepted by everyone as a justified move, even after they knew Sonido had kidnapped my kids. The Akatsuki was put under a lot of pressure for a while."

"Until you got sick of it, that is, yeah." Deidara muttered.

"We were at a Kage and Feudal lord meeting when Alice snapped at the pressure and scolding. She went _off_ on everyone there who dared accuse our actions of being wrong. It got to the point where Pein had to call in Kisame so he could remove Alice from the meeting because she was getting so heated." Itachi recounted. "It was… exhausting."

"She threw her sword at the Raikage because he pissed her off." Kathryn giggled.

"I deliberately missed though!" I whined. "So it was okay. No one got hurt."

"Don't forget when she threatened the Feudal lord of the Land of Fire, un." Deidara snickered.

I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. "I'd never have done it. I don't even know where the guy lives…"

"He didn't know that." Itachi stated. "He was also more concerned with the fact that you threatened to cut his balls off and eat all of his children than if you knew where he lived."

I winced. "I said that?"

"Among other very violent threats." Itachi nodded.

I grimaced. "Whoops? I guess it was kind of bad." I sighed. "If it redeems me at all, I felt bad about it because I said/did some things I probably shouldn't have."

"It doesn't." Kathryn laughed.

I groaned. "But it got the point across and we never had to fill out another paper concerning the matter or deal with another meeting! So, it was worth it! You guys can't make me feel guilty anymore." I huffed. "Besides, Pein gave me a huge lecture, but in the end, he thanked me for ending the pressure."

Deidara shifted in his seat. "Whatever, yeah. No one cares anymore. I'm just glad we don't have to deal with that stupid Konoha elder anymore since he finally croaked, yeah." He wrapped his arm around Kathryn's waist and pulled her closer. "Getting away from the bad politics, we'll go to some good stuff, un."

"Tiburon managed to obtain his Sharingan about a week before his ninth birthday." Itachi announced.

Deidara glared. "And Itachi has been hogging him from his other training a lot."

"I am only 'hogging' him so I can teach Tiburon how to use it correctly."

"Stupid Uchihas…" Deidara grumbled.

I rolled my eyes. "Tiburon also discovered his nature affinity was fire. It's no surprise because of his Uchiha blood, but he was pumped." I smirked. "I was rather excited too since I'm a closet pyro."

Kathryn giggled and hugged Deidara. "Sanaa has an earth affinity, most likely due to Deidara's earth affinity, but that's expected."

"Sanaa has also been focusing a lot on medical Ninjutsu, and she is extremely skilled at transformation jutsu." Itachi added. "She likes transforming into other people and doing strange things."

"The other day she transformed into Kakuzu and started walking around on her hands down the hallway." I deadpanned. "I thought it was Kakuzu for a minute until he walked out of his room an instant later. I stared at her with a face displaying utter confusion while Kakuzu had on his poker-face as she went down the hallway towards the kitchen."

Deidara laughed. "She transformed into Zetsu and crawled into bed with me one night. I literally almost shit my pants because I thought Zetsu was going to eat me, un."

I laughed. "In short, both kids have been doing so well in their ninja training, Pein has ordered that they go to Konoha in order to take their test to become Genin. That's the most recent big event." I sighed. "He didn't want to send them to Ame because there was an outbreak of some sickness in some of the children at the academy there."

"Tiburon is nine years old now and Sanaa has just turned nine. They would be graduating, most likely, at the same time." Itachi added thoughtfully.

"Sanaa had, roughly, just one year longer of training than Tiburon which has caused some not-so-subtle bragging by Itachi and Sasuke towards Deidara whenever it was brought up." I snickered.

"Asshole Uchihas…" Deidara growled, latching onto Kathryn.

"Even though the kids were older and they probably could kill us, Alice is still so protective and paranoid over them that is kind of unhealthy." Kathryn giggled, returning Deidara's embrace.

I sighed, feeling the excessive, overbearing stress hit me like a big-ass truck. "Basically having my son and Sanaa out of my sight for an untold period of time scares me to death and puts me on the edge."

I know I'm weird.

You're not the first person to think that.

Nor will you be the last.

"I think it worked." Itachi stated.

"What worked, un?" Deidara asked.

He pointed to the far side of the room where a door that had not been there before stood. "There's a door."

"Well let's go." I decided. "It'll be dinner time soon and I really don't feel like listening to Hidan bitch about the lack of food."

Itachi stood and offered me his hand. "Let him bitch. I will use the opportunity to shut him up. Perhaps permanently..."

I laughed. "You're adorable."

He smirked and kissed my forehead.

Kathryn awed at us before jumping on Deidara's back. "Let's go Dei!"

Deidara nodded and carried Kathryn on his back to the door before pulling it open and walking through it. Itachi and I followed them and I smiled with relief at seeing the familiar set up of my bedroom.

Kathryn and Deidara were nowhere to be seen.

I glanced at Itachi. "That was really weird…"

Itachi shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, Alice."

"YOU STUPID, CRAZY BITCH! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FOOD?" Hidan shouted.

I sighed. "Can we go back to the magical library now?"

Stupid time skips…

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>I only have 12 more days of high school:D_

Answer: _I love rugby_, soccer, and football. I'm also a fan of extreme ping-pong._  
><em>

**QotC: **_Favorite season and why?__ Winter, Spring, Summer, and/or Fall?  
><em>

_**WotC:** Cielo - Sky_

_No time for long author's note today lovelies. I will answer all questions asked in the next chapter. I promise.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	25. Chapter 25

_Sup lovelies?  
><em>

_Enjoy the chapter. I do not own the Akatsuki or any other Naruto character or setting.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Time Skip~<em>

_Five years later._

**First Person Alice!**

"You've been cleaning the same spot for half an hour, Alice." Kisame stated, grabbing my hand and taking my towel from me.

I looked up at him and frowned. "I need something to occupy my mind."

"Obviously this isn't doing the job." Kisame chuckled, tossing the rag away from me. "Calm down. Tiburon is fine."

I huffed and crossed my arms. "I hate it when he's out of my sight."

"I know." Kisame smiled, rumpling my hair. "But he needs to pass his test, and he can't do that if you're breathing down his neck."

"I know, Kisame." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I will probably die during the Chūnin exams."

He laughed. "We all probably will. Hopefully Sanaa passes the test too and they'll be on a team together."

I sighed and thumped my head on the kitchen table of the hotel we were staying in. "Why does my baby have to be a ninja. This is not good for my mental stability."

"What mental stability?" A horribly familiar and sarcastic voice demanded.

I groaned into my arms. "Fuck off Sasori."

Sasori chuckled. "Relax Alice. Sasuke is the one giving Tiburon his test. Itachi has been watching over the Academy all day. Tiburon will be fine."

"I know." I huffed. "But I can't help it." I crossed my arms. "I need my puppy."

"She isn't a puppy anymore." Kisame commented.

I glared at him. "She will always be my puppy." I whistled. "Sable, come here baby."

A bark was my answer before Sable came trotting into the room. She was nine years old, and she was just starting to gray on her muzzle. Just so you know, wolves in captivity are known to live well into their twenties. Therefore, I was going to make sure my baby lived to her forties.

Yes, she'll double the norm.

"There she is!" I smiled, throwing my arms open for her. Her tail wagged violently and she hurried towards me, lifting her paws to put them on my lap so she could lick my face. I hugged her neck and smothered her with affection.

"That poor animal." Sasori chuckled.

"Whatever. She loves it." I stated. "And it's either her, or I go and find Itachi and rape him in the street."

"I'm pretty sure he would not appreciate that." Kathryn commented with a smile as she skipped into the room.

"The key word was rape, Kathryn." I sighed. "What are you doing?"

She shrugged. "I'm bored." She tossed her hair over her shoulder before sitting at the table. "And I heard Tibby and Sanaa are almost done with their tests. Itachi sent me in here to get you guys and tell you to meet him by the Academy."

I frowned. "If he's by the Academy, how did he tell you that?"

"He sent one of those nifty crow clone thingies." Kathryn told me with a grin. "Come on, let's go."

I nodded and stood up. "Come Sable."

Sable gave a short little howl before trotting after me as I marched out of the kitchen. I wanted my weasel and my baby shark. I already had my big shark.

We had just reached the school building when Itachi arrived before us in a flock of crows. He extended his hand towards me without a word and I took it, smiling at him. He returned my smile with his extremely sexy smirk and kissed me gently.

"They will be out soon." Itachi told me. His eyes flicked towards the others. "Thank you for passing on the message, Kathryn."

She smiled at him. "Yep! Where's Dei?"

"The last time I saw him, he was with Hidan and the pair of them were talking with a few Jōnin from the village. The Inuzuka and the Nara boys were among them." Itachi told her. "Their chakra is approaching, however. They will be here in a moment."

"Kakuzu?" Sasori wondered.

Itachi pointed to a bench near a line of trees and indicated Kakuzu who was reading a tattered old book boredly. Kakuzu looked up at us and raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"I didn't even see you there." Kisame stated.

Kakuzu shrugged. "It's not my fault you're oblivious to your surroundings."

Kisame pouted.

"Hey Kakuzu." I greeted, my eyes briefly flicking towards Kathryn when she attacked Deidara. Hidan informed her she was weird with obscenities, but otherwise their antics were expected.

The miser grunted at me before returning his attention to his book. I smiled at his indifference before turning my attention to Itachi who was watching me calmly. "What?"

He shook his head and kissed my forehead. "Nothing. I was just looking at you."

"I suppose that's alright. Considering I do it to you a lot." I mused. He chuckled but didn't say anything else as his eyes flicked to the Academy to my left and his right. I raised my eyebrow. "What now?"

"Tiburon and Sanaa are coming." Itachi informed us.

I turned towards the academy, adjusting my hand in Itachi's so our grip was more comfortable. Sable sat at the ground by my side, her tail wagging and her ears perked as she watched the school and the kids that were beginning to emerge from the building.

"I see them." Kisame stated from behind me. "They're with Sasuke."

"And Naruto!" Kathryn giggled as she waved excitedly at them. Naruto waved back enthusiastically while Sasuke just dipped his head in greeting, his hands in the pockets of his pants.

Sanaa jumped at seeing her mother and sprinted towards us while Tiburon hung back to walk over with Sasuke. Both of them had Konoha forehead protectors already on their heads.

"Looks like they passed." Kakuzu commented, closing his book and standing up from the bench to join us.

"Of course they did." Itachi stated. "Tiburon is an Uchiha. I was seven when I passed."

"Sasuke was thirteen though." I stated.

Itachi glanced at me. "I graduated early."

"I know." I told him, kissing his cheek before looking down at Sable who was wiggling excitedly by my side, eager for Sasuke and Tiburon to reach us. "Go say hi, puppy."

Sable's ears tucked back before she darted forward. Tiburon yelped and tried to avoid her, only to egg her on. She tackled him into Sasuke and smothered him with kisses.

I smiled. "So cute."

Sasuke helped Tiburon extract Sable from his person so they could reach us. Tiburon walked over to me and Itachi when they were close enough and he smiled up at us. "I passed!"

I bent over to hug him tightly and kiss his nose since his forehead protector prevented me from kissing his forehead. "Good job Tibby. I'm so proud of you."

He hugged me back. "Thanks mom. That test was easy though."

Itachi stroked Tiburon's hair gently when I released him. "You've done well, Tiburon. I am proud of you. I expect nothing less from my son."

"Thanks Dad." Tiburon grinned.

Itachi dipped his head silently before looking at Sasuke. "How did he do?"

"He got a perfect score." Sasuke informed his brother, rumpling Tiburon's hair.

Naruto scoffed. "I could have done that."

I stared at him. "You do recall that you only passed out of sheer luck right?"

He stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't be mean, Alice."

"Forgive me, Naruto." I smiled. "How did Sanaa do?"

Naruto, who I had learned was the one testing Sanaa, smiled. "She missed one of the Shinobi rules, but other than that, she did perfect."

"Which one?" Sasori asked, looking around at Naruto.

"The one about not showing emotions." Naruto explained.

Sanaa huffed. "It's the easiest one, but all the ninjas I know cry." She paused. "Beside the Akatsuki."

I smiled at her. "They're more of guidelines than actual rules, love."

She stuck her tongue out at Naruto. "See, Naru?"

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, I see what you mean." He elbowed Sasuke. "I'm jealous that you get Tiburon and Sanaa on your Genin team."

"You did, un?" Deidara asked, hugging his daughter tightly.

"Yeah." Sasuke nodded. "Pein requested it since he doesn't want some stranger going to the base. It was either me or Naruto, but because of my connections, I was chosen."

I nodded. "Naruto can come over whenever he wants."

Naruto grinned at me and hugged me tightly, proving that he will forever be the friendliest person in the world. "Yes!"

I patted his head. "Down boy before you freak the Uchiha brothers out."

Naruto snickered and set me down before elbowing Sasuke. "Who was the third kid on your team again?"

Sasuke shook his head. "There wasn't one. Pein said he had someone from Ame that he wanted to fill the spot on the team."

"That's stuff we can worry about later." Kathryn said dismissively, prying Tiburon from Itachi so she could hug him and praise him. "We need to celebrate! And Momma isn't cooking!"

I stared at her. "You want to bring all of these idiots to a restaurant?"

"Yep!" She nodded. "Ichiraku's here we come!"

I rolled my eyes, knowing Ichiraku's was Sanaa's favorite restaurant and one of Tiburon's. "Fine. Let's go. Hopefully Ichiraku can handle all of your antics." I looked around. "Sasuke, Naruto, do you two want to come?"

"Sure." Naruto grinned. Sasuke answered with an Uchiha grunt.

And so off we went. Zetsu met up with us when we made it there and he joined our party. Ichiraku paled a bit at our numbers, but was internally pleased that he would be getting paid. However, he announced Naruto, Sasuke, Sanaa, and Tiburon would be eating for free as a celebration. Kakuzu was pleased with this and he forked over some money so I could pay Ichiraku in advance.

There are reasons why we never take the Akatsuki into public, especially when Pein is not here to enforce my orders. Since he was still at the base with Konan, I was left to handle the idiots on my own.

That is not fun.

By the end of the night Deidara was knocked unconscious, Itachi had used Tsukuyomi on Hidan's decapitated head twice, and Sasori and I were prepared to kill everyone. Tiburon and Sanaa had to be carried back by Kisame and Sasuke because they had crashed from their hyperness.

I'm getting too old for this.

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Tiburon smirked to himself as he slunk stealthily into the main room of the hotel room he, his parents, and Kisame were staying in. Said shark was kneeling on the floor, having just finished doing some early morning pushups to help him wake up for the day.

And that meant he was open for attack.

Grinning, Tiburon launched himself at Kisame. "Kisa!"

Kisame smirked and grunted a bit when Tiburon collided with his back. He raised his eyebrow and looked over his shoulder towards the nine-year-old, amused and unaffected. "Hey Tibby."

Tiburon pouted. "You didn't move."

"It'll be a few years before you're strong enough to knock me over, Pup." Kisame teased. "Now I, on the other hand, have no issues with throwing you around like a stuffed animal." He reached around and wrapped an arm around Tiburon's waste before pulling him around.

Tiburon yelped. "Ah! No!"

Kisame grinned and pinned Tiburon to the floor, tickling him incessantly.

"Kisa!" Tiburon laughed. "Q-quit it! Let go! Ha! It tickles!"

"I know." Kisame nodded, still ticking him. "That's the point."

"You both are lucky I find this adorable or else I'd scold you for waking me up."

Kisame paused in his tickling and looked around with Tiburon to see Alice standing in the doorway to the bedroom she was sharing with Itachi and Sable. He grinned at her. "Hey kid."

"Morning." She greeted. "I'm surprised Tiburon's up this early."

"Kisa threw me in the tub when I didn't wake up." Tiburon deadpanned.

Alice smirked. "Well done, Kisame."

He snickered and stood, pulling Tiburon to his feet as well. "Is Itachi up?"

Alice shook her head. "No. And don't go trying to throw him in the tub. He'll rip your arms off."

"Never even considered it." Kisame chuckled. "He's always been rather cranky when it comes to sleep."

"I never would have guessed." Alice mused. "I'm going to go make breakfast. After that, we need to start preparing to go home. We're leaving the hotel before noon."

Tiburon made a face. "Can we stay?"

"No." Alice told him. "I want to go home. Sasuke's your new sensei. You'll be seeing enough of him as it is." She patted her leg. "Sable."

"Fine." Tiburon sighed.

Alice waved away his sighs dismissively as she left the hotel room, Sable at her side. Tiburon watched her go with Kisame at his side before grinning.

"What is that grin for?" Kisame asked, looking at Tiburon skeptically.

Tiburon snickered. "I'm gonna go wake dad up."

Kisame chuckled. "Good luck.'

Tiburon rubbed his hands together. "Revenge." He darted over to the bedroom door that led into his parent's room and he tiptoed inside the dark room, heading straight for the bed that his father occupied.

Itachi was sleeping, Tiburon could tell from his dormant chakra and the fact that he didn't move to look at him. He crept around the bed until he was on Itachi's side and he grinned before leaping on top of his father.

"Dad!" Tiburon shouted. "It's time to get up!"

Itachi's Sharingan whirled and he moved with incomparable speeds to pin Tiburon to the mattress beneath him, a frown on his face. He narrowed his eyes at his now shocked son and tightened his grip slightly on Tiburon's arms.

"Tiburon." Itachi said menacingly.

Tiburon shivered a little at the irritation flowing from his father. "Morning." He gave Itachi a hopeful smile, being sure to keep his Sharingan deactivated.

Itachi released one of Tiburon's arms to free his own hand. "I will teach you now why you should never wake me up before I am willing to rise."

Tiburon paled. "D-Dad?"

Itachi began tickling him.

Tiburon burst out laughing, shaking and wiggling under his father, trying to avoid his dancing fingers. "Dad! Quit!"

Itachi's irritated expression shifted into an amused smirk. He continued torturing Tiburon for a moment before ceasing his assault. He patted Tiburon's head before letting him run away. Tiburon raced away from his dad, panting and glaring at him.

"Butthead." Tiburon gasped.

Itachi raised his eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Tiburon yelped and ran out of the room.

Itachi chuckled as he shook his head, and got up, heading to the bathroom. Kisame jumped when Tiburon sprinted out of Itachi's room and hid behind him, glancing fearfully at the door.

"Is he that bad?" Kisame asked with a chuckle.

"He tickled me." Tiburon said in a horrified voice.

Kisame laughed and rumpled Tiburon's hair. "It could have been worse, Pup. Let's go get some breakfast."

"Kay." Tiburon said willingly.

* * *

><p>Sasori flexed his fingers boredly, checking his joints for any stiffness just in case he needed a tune up. Satisfied that nothing was wrong with himself, he turned his attention to his next task.<p>

The little girl curled up in a ball on his bed.

Sasori smirked and walked over to the bed he never used and he placed his knee on the edge of the mattress as he loomed over the nine-year-old sleeping on it. He reached forward and gently brushed loose blond locks from her face before stroking her cheek with the back of his knuckle.

Sanaa shifted slightly at his touch and she smiled, snuggling further under the blankets. Sasori's gaze softened and he used his thumb to gently caress her cheek bone. "Sanaa."

"Sori-Danna." Sanaa mumbled tiredly. She opened her eyes and blinked up at him sleepily. "Morning."

"Good morning, Brat." Sasori greeted. "It's time for you to get up."

Sanaa started sighing only for her sigh to turn into a yawn. She stretched before sitting up. She looked at Sasori and her smile returned. "I love you Sori-Danna."

"Me too, Brat." Sasori assured her. "Go and get ready for the day so you can wake up your parents."

Sanaa nodded. "Kay." She rolled comically out of the bed before hopping over to her bags, extracting some clothing and hurrying to the bathroom.

Sasori rolled his eyes before leaving his room and venturing to the room two of his older brats shared. He walked inside it before going to the bed. He grabbed Kathryn's ankle and pulled her away from Deidara before picking her up.

He carried her still sleeping form over his shoulder to the bathroom before he dumped her into the tub. He closed the door and set up a sound barrier swiftly with his chakra before turning on the shower.

Kathryn's scream would cause the average persons' ears to bleed.

"Quiet down you brat." Sasori snapped, rubbing his ears. "You could wake the dead."

Kathryn scrambled to her feet and glared at Sasori. "Danna! That's cold!"

"I know." Sasori stated. "I told you if you weren't up before or at a certain time, I was going to throw you in the shower." He gestured around the bathroom. "I do not make idle threats."

"So mean." Kathryn whined.

"Hush." Sasori said dismissively. "Take a shower, do whatever it is you do in mornings and then go to the kitchen for breakfast. I'll work on waking Deidara up with Sanaa."

Kathryn giggled, still shivering. "Alright Danna." She shooed him towards the door. "Out. I'm getting naked and I don't think you want to see that."

Sasori rolled his eyes and rumpled her hair before slipping out of the bathroom and dismantling his sound barrier.

He looked at the clock on the wall before glancing towards the door, nodding when Sanaa bounced into the room. "Just in time, brat." He gestured at Deidara. "Do you want to wake him up?"

Sanaa nodded enthusiastically. "Yep!"

Sasori dipped his head. "Good girl. I'll meet you in the kitchen. Make sure you tell your father I said to get up if he resists."

"Kay, yeah." Sanaa giggled. She watched Sasori leave the room before she crept over to her father's bed. She slid onto the mattress with him before slipping under the covers and sneaking over to him.

She prodded his sides, snickering when he jerked at the contact. She tried again, giggling when he grunted and wiggled away from her.

She poked her head out of the covers to see if he was awake or not. When she saw he was still sleeping, she prodded his hand-mouth, smiling victoriously when it opened. She stuck part of his blanket into the open mouth, smothering her giggles with her own hand when his hand-mouth began eating the blanket.

Satisfied, she began tickling Deidara's sides, giggling when he protested in his sleep and wiggled away from her. She didn't realize how close to the edge he was or how much he was moving until he rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

She snorted and hid under the covers again, hoping he didn't notice it was her.

Deidara groaned and rubbed his head. "Ouch un." He glared at his hand. "Why are you eating that? Spit it out, hmm." When his hand obeyed him, he pushed away the slobbered blanket before getting to his feet. "How did I fall off the bed, yeah?"

The lump on his mattress caught his attention.

"There are two possible people that lump could be, yeah." Deidara mused aloud, a smile on his face. "Unless Danna was drugged un."

It giggled and Deidara's smile widened.

Deidara tossed himself on his mattress beside the lump before picking it up, wrapping it up in the covers as he did so. "When did my bed start giggling, un?"

Sanaa continued to giggle. She poked her head out of the blanket and kissed Deidara's cheek. "Morning Daddy yeah."

Deidara grinned his cocky grin at her. "Hey baby, un." He kissed her forehead gently. "I don't suppose you know how I ended up on the floor, un?"

She shook her head, grinning.

"I think you're lying." Deidara mused. "Do you know what I do to lying babies, hmm?"

She shook her head, still smiling.

Deidara scooped her up in the blanket again before tossing it over his shoulder with her inside it. He carried her to the bathroom where Kathryn was standing with a towel around her person. "We have a lying baby, Kathryn yeah."

A smile broke out on Kathryn's sleep. "Well we'll have to remedy that, won't we handsome?"

"Just what I was thinking, un." Deidara smirked. He set Sanaa on the floor in the blanket before he and Kathryn both pounced on her, tickling her without restraint.

Sanaa filled their rooms with laughter.

"Oi! If I have to come in there and get you three, you'll regret it." Sasori called ominously from somewhere in the main room.

All three of them paled at the threat in his voice.

"Coming (Sori) Danna (un)!" All of them called.

Sasori sighed, rolling his eyes from the living room. "Kids."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>I got a new puppy. His name is Bowie and he's a German Shepard/Husky/Collie mix. He's freaking adorable._

Answer: _Winter. I hate the heat that comes with spring and Summer is hell. Fall is a close second to Winter because it's cold. But, I prefer snow to leaves because my yard is always covered in leaves._

**QotC:** _Dogs or Cats?_**  
><strong>

_**WotC: **Oscuro - Dark  
><em>

_This chapter was going to be shorter, but I disliked having such a short chapter so I had to add in some antics and filler like stuff.  
><em>

_Btw, baby sharks are called Pups, hence why Kisame is calling Tiburon Pup. He can't call him kid or squirt because those are Alice's names. :)  
><em>

_Some Random Dude: Hora is actually hour, though it is a synonym for time.  
><em>

_Yes, I do speak Spanish. It is not my native language, but I have no issues speaking with native speakers or understanding them. I'm majoring in Linguistics at Ohio State University, and I passed the Spanish placement test with an almost perfect score so... yeah.  
><em>

_Yes, Tibby and Sanaa will be going through the Chunin exams. And yes, D-rank missions to piss Tiburon off.  
><em>

_Someone else asked me something, but I can't remember what the question was... So yeah, feel free to ask me whatever.  
><em>

_Toodles.  
><em>


	26. Chapter 26

_Hello~_

_Lots of answers down below as promised._

_Enjoy my lack of ownership of Naruto._

_Because someday, it will be mine._

* * *

><p>A bloodcurdling scream ripped through the silence of the base. My hands froze on Sable's fur and I was instantly on my feet. I knew that scream and it had been years since I last heard it.<p>

The last time I did was when Orochimaru kidnapped Kathryn and I.

Sable charged ahead of me, knowing where the scream was coming from. Deidara and Sasori darted out of the kitchen as I passed it and they followed after me. Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu emerged from the training grounds as we ran by it and they ran along with us.

I skidded to a stop in front of Kathryn's bedroom door and kicked it open before rushing to the bathroom since I didn't see her in the main room. Sable's hair was up and she was snarling viciously, looking around for any sort of threat. I hurried over to Kathryn and took her face in my hands as Deidara crouched by my side, worry evident on his face.

"Kathryn!" I demanded. "What the hell happened? What's wrong?"

She was sitting against the counter, sobbing into her hands. She shook her head and cried even more.

"Mom." Tiburon gasped, pushing by his uncles and father. "What happened? Is Kitty okay?"

Sanaa squeezed in beside him, looking scared and worried. "Mommy? Are you alright?"

Kathryn just continued crying.

Deidara pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair, whispering soothing words in her ear to calm her down. "Easy babe, un. What's wrong? What happened yeah?"

She sniffed into his shoulder and shuddered. "I found a gray hair!"

The atmosphere of the room changed dramatically.

"What?" Sasori and I demanded in unison.

Deidara sighed with relief. Kakuzu shook his head and Hidan began swearing under his breath as they turned straight around and left the room. Kisame chuckled in exasperation and Itachi merely rolled his eyes.

"I'm _old_!" She sobbed. "I have _gray_ hair!" She buried her face into Deidara's shoulder. "I'm not sexy anymore! Dei's not gonna love me!"

Deidara gawked at her. "What, un?" He shook his head and pulled away from Kathryn to look her in the eye. "Kathryn, don't be stupid, yeah. I love you with all of my heart. Nothing could ever change that. You could be a wrinkly old prune with no hair and I still would think you were the most beautiful woman in the world, un." He stroked her cheek. "I will always love you no matter what. Don't ever think otherwise yeah."

Kathryn looked up at him. "Really?"

"Really un." Deidara nodded, kissing her lips lightly.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes before smiling at him, managing to glow even though she had been sobbing. "I love you too, Dei." She hugged him tightly, smiling brighter when he chuckled and hugged her back.

Sasori glared at her and he snatched away the hair in Kathryn's hand and looked at it before rolling his eyes. "This is blond, Kathryn. It's just a very light blond. It isn't gray."

"Really?" She asked.

"Yes." Sasori snapped. "You're going to give me gray hairs if you ever scream like that again."

Kathryn rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "I'm sorry Danna… I couldn't help it."

Sasori rumpled her hair. "Don't do that again. And you're not old. You're almost twenty-seven. _Kakuzu_ is old."

Kathryn giggled. "True. But he's still sexy."

"Damn straight." I agreed. "Scream like that again, and I'll shave your hair off. You gave everyone a heart attack."

"Sorry." She apologized.

"Mommy." Sanaa giggled. "You're so silly."

Kathryn smiled at Sanaa and extended her arms towards her daughter. "Come here gorgeous."

Sanaa hugged her mother when Kathryn hugged her and they held each other. "I think you're the prettiest woman in the world, Mommy."

"Not as pretty as you." Kathryn corrected. "You get it from your daddy."

Sanaa giggled. "And you, mommy."

"The mushiness is killing me." Sasori grunted.

"That makes two of us." I deadpanned.

"Three." Itachi said with a sigh.

Tiburon raised his hand as Deidara joined in on the blond love fest. "Four."

Kisame laughed. "Well, I'm just going to leave and break the trend." He looked at Tiburon. "Yo Tibby, come train with me."

"Kay." Tiburon grinned. Tiburon trotted away from Sanaa towards the door. He paused briefly to pretend like he was going to punch Itachi in the stomach. However, Itachi, being the badass Uchiha he is, grabbed Tiburon's hand and suddenly Tiburon was upside-down in Itachi's arms.

"You have a few more years before you are able to hit me, Tiburon." Itachi said smoothly. "Nice try."

Tiburon snickered. "Damn."

"Tiburon." I snapped. "Watch your mouth."

He smiled. "Sorry mom." He poked his dad's cheek. "Can I get down?"

A second later, Kisame had Tiburon thrown over his shoulder as Itachi handed him over. Tiburon protested loudly, but Kisame just ignored him because he gets a kick out of tormenting my son.

I smirked. "They're cute."

"Hn." Itachi grunted. He extended his hand towards me. "Come."

I raised my eyebrows but went to him, taking his hand and allowing him to lead me from the room. Sasori followed us for a moment before going into his room. Sable trotted after us, as happy as a clam. "Where are we going?"

"To our Leader's office." He explained.

"What for?" I wondered.

Itachi glanced at me as we walked towards Pein's office. "We are going to discuss a meeting time and place for Tiburon, Sanaa, and Sasuke to meet the last member of their team. Pein-sama is having the child moved out to the village nearby in order to lessen the distance, but skill keep the child out of Konoha."

"Oh." I nodded. "Sounds good. But shouldn't Sasuke be in on this?"

"Sasuke is already there." Itachi told me. "I didn't tell you because if Tiburon knew, we would not be able to have the meeting as easily as we will." Itachi knocked on the door to Pein's office and a second later, the door opened.

"Enter." Pein said with authority in his voice.

I smirked at his messy orange hair and excessive piercings as I walked in. "Sup Pein?" I looked around until my eyes landed on the beautiful blue haired woman by the window. "Hey Konan."

"Hi Alice." She smiled gently.

I grinned at her before looking at Pein with a completely serious face as I began twitching. He returned the twitching, continuing our greeting of silent, spastic movements and signals.

Pein dipped his head at me when our small conversation of twitches was over, amusement hinting at the corner of his eyes when I hugged Sasuke and kissed the top of his head.

"Hi baby brother." I cooed, hugging him. "You're so cute, Sasuke."

He huffed. "Hello Alice."

I snickered at his misfortune and Uchiha characteristics before taking a seat a chair away from him so Itachi could sit by his brother. Itachi poked Sasuke's forehead with a smirk before turning his attention to our Leader.

"Alrighty, let's get this show on the road." I stated.

"Indeed." Pein stated. "The child I have chosen to fill the last spot on your team, Sasuke, was the top of his class in Ame. He is from the Oscuro clan, a rather small clan native to the land of rain. As far as I know, he currently has no Kekkei Genkai though that might be attributed to his age since there are few in his clan without the ability. His chakra nature is water." Pein entwined his fingers. "He is an orphan raised by the other members of his clan so he is living with his elderly guardian in my village at the moment. From what I've seen, he is a rather quiet, respectful and shy boy, but he has great potential."

"What's his name?" I asked, knowing Oscuro meant dark in Spanish.

"Cielo." Pein informed me.

I smirked. "Good name."

Sasuke looked at me while Itachi rolled his eyes.

"His full name means Dark Sky. Cielo means Sky in Spanish." I explained. "It's fitting since Ame is such a rainy place." I threw a meaningful look at Pein. He just twitched his nose.

I smirked at ran my tongue over my top row of teeth. He chuckled in response.

"Will you two knock it off?" Konan sighed.

"Sorry." Pein and I said in unison. I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly.

We sort of drift away from reality when we go into our code.

"What is the Kekkei Genkai of his clan?" Itachi wondered.

Pein sighed. "His clan has the ability to cut off all of the senses of their opponents for certain durations of time. They can take control of it and manipulate it as well, sort of like a Kekkei Genkai Genjutsu, but a lot more focused. The duration varies depending on skill with the jutsu, the victim, and chakra levels in general."

"Interesting." Itachi mused.

"It focuses mainly on eyesight and hearing. It is a powerful technique especially against other ninjas since we Shinobi base a lot of our talents on our sight and sense of hearing." Pein continued. "If Cielo does possess this ability, he will need to be trained to control it. That is why I picked you, Sasuke. Because of your skill with Genjutsu, you will be the best trainer for him outside of his clan. Genjutsu can have a similar affect on a Shinobi. It is less… efficient because it is less focused, but nonetheless."

"Great." I sighed. "Another cool ninja ability that I can't see." I huffed. "This is why I like fire jutsu and stuff because I can ogle at how awesome it looks."

Konan giggled. "Be happy they don't work on you."

I nodded. "True."

"I've arranged for Cielo to arrive in the town nearby by tomorrow night at the latest. In two days, Tiburon, Sanaa, and you, Sasuke, will be able to go out and meet him. He will then either stay here in the base with us, or stay with you in Konoha since I cannot keep you out of Konoha longer than your Hokage will allow." Pein stated.

I pouted. "I hate the thought of Tiburon being gone for more than a few hours."

"I will never allow anything to happen to Tiburon or Sanaa, Alice." Sasuke assured me. "I'll protect them with my life."

"I don't want anything to happen to you either, Sasuke." I told him. "Itachi's sexy when he's angry, but I'd rather him _not_ start a fifth world war because someone gave you a booboo."

Itachi looked away from me stubbornly. Sasuke chuckled, smirking at his brother.

"Regardless," Itachi began. "I think this conversation is over."

Pein raised his eyebrow, shocked by Itachi's announcement since it questioned his rank as Leader.

Itachi sighed. "Tiburon and Sanaa have recognized and located Sasuke's chakra."

"Uh oh." Sasuke stated, getting up.

Thirty seconds or so later, the door was thrown open and Tiburon tackled his uncle. Sanaa copied him, landing on top of the duo and making it a group hug.

"Sasuke!" Tiburon greeted.

Sanaa lifted her head off of Sasuke and looked around at us. "Should we call him Sasuke-sensei now?"

Konan giggled while Pein massaged his forehead. Itachi mentally face palmed and I just smirked at their antics.

Sasuke rumpled Tiburon's hair and patted Sanaa's head before pushing them off of him so he could get up. "Hello you two. And I don't care, Sanaa. Call me whatever you want."

"Oh the possibilities…" I mused with a playful smirk. Sasuke glared at me.

"Hi Pein!" Tiburon waved. "Hi Konan."

"Hello Tiburon." Pein and Konan said in unison.

Tiburon looked around. "What were you guys doing?"

"Having a meeting." Itachi said calmly.

"I told you we should have waited." Sanaa whispered to him loudly.

Later on that evening…

I was lying on my bed, my arms tucked under my pillow. Tiburon was lounging beside me on the bed, twisting a kunai around his index finger. Itachi was lying on my other side, since our bed is huge, and he was stroking my hair.

"Hey mom." Tiburon began, stopping the twirling of his ninja weapon to look at me.

I raised my eyebrow at him and opened my good eye. "Hn?"

"Where did you get all of those scars?" He asked. "I remember asking you when I was really little but you never told me."

I hummed. "I got them from a lot of different things."

"Such as?" He pressed, rolling onto his side to face me and his father. Itachi watched him, his fingers slipping through my hair to caress my neck on occasion.

"I was tortured a few times." I told him. "A few were from the man I was with before I met your dad and a few of from fights I got into when I was younger."

He raised his eyebrow. "Do you mean serious fights, or like the kind you, Hidan-oji, and Dei get into?"

"Serious fights." I told him. "I used to be rather violent when I was younger and I got into fights a lot."

"Cool." He grinned.

I scoffed. "Kids."

He snickered and rolled closer to me. "So what about this one?" He ran his finger along the very first scar I ever received in this world.

"I got that one from a young man who was very lost and confused." I told him.

"Who?" Tiburon asked. A second later, the door opened and the devil himself walked inside. Tiburon grinned. "Hey Sasuke."

Sasuke smirked at our position and walked over to the bed. He sat on it and turned to face us, petting Sable when she rolled over to greet him. "What are you three doing?"

"I was just asking mom where she got her scars from." Tiburon informed him. He looked at his uncle. "Do you know?"

Sasuke looked at me, guilt in his eyes. I smiled at him and shrugged, letting him know that I held nothing against him. Sasuke sighed and looked back at Tiburon. "Which ones?"

"This one." He poked my temple.

Sasuke sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I gave her that."

Tiburon's eyebrows furrowed and he looked between us. "Why?"

"It was before he knew me and I pissed him off by insulting him and being sarcastic." I told Tiburon. Itachi kissed the top of my head and I knew he was looking at his brother by the way Sasuke avoided looking in his direction.

"Did you know dad then?" Tiburon wondered.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Your dad and I had known each other for a while by then. But, Sasuke didn't know me and I kind of deserved it."

Tiburon rubbed his head. "I'm confused."

"Sasuke and I were not on speaking terms at that point in our lives, Tiburon." Itachi explained. "Sasuke was a missing nin, just like I was. However, I was a member of the Akatsuki and Sasuke was not. We had some family issues that separated us, so when I met your mother, Sasuke did not. It wasn't until your mother decided to mess with fate that Sasuke and I mended our relationship and the pieces fell into place."

"And I will be forever grateful to you for that, Alice." Sasuke told me.

I smiled at him. "It's my pleasure, Sasuke."

"Was it the Uchiha clan massacre that separated you?" Tiburon wondered, looking between Sasuke and Itachi. Both of them stiffened and Sasuke avoided making eye contact with anyone while Itachi stilled and he closed his eyes sadly.

I looked at Tiburon. "Yes Tibby. It was the Massacre."

Tiburon nodded. "Oh." He looked at me curiously. "So who tortured you?"

"A man named Orochimaru, and Konoha." I told him.

He glared. "Why did Konoha torture you?"

"I was a threat because of my knowledge on everyone." I shrugged. "The Akatsuki, at that time, had been an enemy to everyone in the ninja world. Konoha kidnapped me and they tortured me for information that I would not give them. In the end, you dad, your uncles, and Pein destroyed Konoha to get me back and show the world their power."

"Of course, a few weeks later, we joined the Shinobi Alliance and helped win the war which restored the world to peace." Itachi finished with a shrug.

Tiburon sighed and shook his head. "How come all the cool stuff happened before I was born?"

Sasuke made a small snort of amusement while Itachi chuckled and I laughed.

If only he knew.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah… about dat…<em>

_**Fun Fact: **__My Puppy is named Bowie, after David Bowie._

Answer: _Dogs, all the way. They embody loyalty, love, and adorableness. I essentially share the same opinion of dogs as the incredibly sexy and awesome Roy Mustang. Shame on you cat people. I'm allergic to cats and I only like them when they belong to other people. Kathryn's cat Poo-Bear and my friend Blake's cat Cookie are the only two cats I like._

**QotC: **_This is an interesting question one of you suggested. I believe it was _Nerd4ever243_ who asked it. How many of you watch Comedians? For those of you who do, who is your favorite?_

_**WotC: **__perseguir – To chase_

_Questions: Do I plan on making more stories based in our world that aren't related to these Akatsuki kitty stories? Uh… No. I don't plan on it, but I've had some ideas floating around in my head. None of them are more than amusing musings though so don't count on it._

_Can I help you with your stories?: I'd love to help all of you who ask for it, but I honestly don't have time for it. I had to quit a lot of my story betaing because of my lack of free time._

_Will Tibby and Sanaa be a couple? I don't know. You'll have to wait and see._

_Will the third member be a boy who likes Sanaa? And will this be Love Triangle? Again, I'm not telling you._

_I already plan on getting tattoos, so yes. My first tattoo, and don't make fun of me, will be Sasuke's sealed curse mark, the one on his shoulder. I'm getting it in the same place. My uncle, who is a tattoo artist is going to do it for me._

_What is earthquake in Spanish? There are a few other words I'm sure, but the first ones I was taught are temblor or terremoto. One really means tremble or something like that while the other is earthquake._

_All of you go to _xdreamernumbuhfour_'s profile and read her shit. Seriously, go do it and tell her how amazing she is or I'll beat you. And maybe, if you do, I'll actually find time to write the oneshot I was going to make for all of you Alice fans._


	27. Chapter 27

_I would like to introduce Cielo Oscuro. I adore him :)_

_He's like a less perverted Kakashi.  
><em>

_Also, there's a section of this with a new POV. It won't happen often since it was a spur of the moment thing.  
><em>

_Enjoy if possible. I don't own any Naruto characters.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Sometimes, the only negative thing about having a huge canine as a pet is the grooming.<p>

Now usually, I don't mind it because Sable is really well behaved and she loves it when I brush her. She knows she's beautiful and she likes to look her best. Also, her fur is simply gorgeous so it's not that bad to brush and she loves her baths.

Sometimes.

There are days when she would rather go and play in the mud than be clean. And there are days when she just isn't up to sitting there and letting me brush her.

And that is when I hate grooming her.

"Sable." I called, looking at the giant, black wolf that was sniffing through the pile of dirty laundry in front of the laundry room because she likes to run around with Hidan's bloody pants just to piss him off. "Sit."

Her ears perked before she looked around at me. When she saw me walking towards her, she sat instantly and looked up at me, ears back and tail wagging. I knelt in front of her and scratched behind her ears, letting her lick my face.

"Bath time." I told her, hoping she would get excited and dart to one of the bathrooms like she usually does. I give her a bath about once every week or two weeks depending on the situation at hand and how dirty she was.

She's outside a lot and we do a lot of things. Plus, she likes to play. She's a clean puppy, but she loves to wrestle with Hidan and swim in the lake nearby. So, I bathe her regularly.

However, today was one of the days she just wasn't feeling a bath.

Her tail stopped wagging and she stiffened.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Sable…"

She stared into my eyes for a minute with her beautiful amber ones before taking off down the hallway. In an instant, she was gone.

"Sable!" I barked. "Come!"

She didn't listen.

Huffing, I walked to the kitchen, intent on hunting down some assistance. Preferably, immortal assistance. Sable was fast and if she didn't want to be caught, she wouldn't be caught. She would fight and that fighting usually left Hidan with a mauled or detached limb.

"Hidan." I sighed, entering the kitchen. Kakuzu, Sasori, Hidan, and Sanaa were there. Sanaa was practicing her chakra control for medical Ninjutsu on Hidan's sliced arm under Kakuzu and Sasori's watchful supervision.

"Sup, Bitch?" Hidan asked, looking away from Sanaa's progress to raise his eyebrow at me.

"I need you to help me catch Sable." I told him, walking further into the room to see how Sanaa was doing. From what I could tell, she was doing a just fine. "She needs a bath but she doesn't want one."

Hidan frowned. "That mutt loves baths."

"Most of the time." Sasori commented. "When Sanaa is finished, Hidan and I will help you catch her."

"Thanks." I smiled. "She usually likes baths, but I guess today she'd rather play."

"Who are we talking about?" Itachi asked as he entered the room.

"Sable." Sanaa chirped, looking up from Hidan's arm. "I'm done Sori-Danna."

Sasori inspected Hidan's arm where his wound had been before nodding in approval and rumpling Sanaa's hair. "Well done brat. It's completely healed."

Sanaa beamed. "Thank you Sori-Danna." She hugged Sasori and smiled brighter when Hidan patted her head in thanks. "Can I go play with Tibby now?"

"Tiburon isn't playing, Sanaa." Itachi informed her. "He's training with Sasuke. They're doing Genjutsu so I don't know if you want to join them."

Sanaa made a face. "No. Genjutsu isn't fun. I'll help you catch Sable though until Tibby's done."

I smiled at her. "Thanks sweetie." I glanced at my weasel. "You coming?"

"Hn." He confirmed with a dip of his head.

"Good." I nodded, kissing him in thanks.

Hidan got up from the table and rumpled my hair. "You make dinner, Ice Bitch. I'll catch the damn dog."

I punched him. "Sable isn't a dog. She's a _wolf._"

"Same fucking difference." He shrugged. He pointed towards the stove. "Food. Now."

"Itachi." I growled.

Itachi punched Hidan in the throat before walking towards the door. Kakuzu sat at the table, chuckling at Hidan's misfortune. Sasori was smirking with amusement as he joined Itachi at the door and Sanaa simply skipped over with her Danna before grabbing his hand and Itachi's.

"Let's go get Sable. Come on Hidan-oji." Sanaa announced.

Itachi and Sasori allowed her to drag them from the room while Hidan coughed up a lung before following them.

I looked at Kakuzu and smiled. "I'm making what's left of the chicken from yesterday. It won't be enough for everyone so I'll make something else. Does liver sound good to you, Kuzu?"

Kakuzu grunted, smirking at me from beneath his mask. "You read my mind."

**Third Person!**

"So where do you think she is?" Sasori wondered, glancing at Itachi as Sanaa hopped along between them.

Itachi shrugged. "I have no idea."

Hidan whistled loudly. "Sable! Come here you mutt!"

A howl was his answer before Sable came charging down the hallway. She tackled him to the ground and licked the hell out of his face excitedly, whimpering because she was pleased to see him.

"I found her!" Sanaa announced, pointing at Sable. "Sable, it's bath time!"

"No!" Hidan shouted, reaching towards Sanaa because he knew the word "bath" would alert Sable to their intentions. However, he was too late. Sable had heard Sanaa and her ears flattened. She looked around at Sanaa and took in Sasori and Itachi's presence. She growled lowly before running down the hallway.

"Sable! Come back!" Sanaa yelled, running after Sable.

Itachi sighed as the Sanaa ran away from them. "We'll need to corner her."

"I'll go get Kisame, Kakuzu, and Deidara." Sasori offered. "Hidan, watch over Sanaa. Itachi, track the dog and make sure you don't lose sight of her."

Itachi flew through a few hand signs before he disappeared in a flock of crows.

Sasori glanced at Hidan as he stepped onto an intersecting hallway. He watched Hidan get to his feet before narrowing his eyes at the Jashinist. "And do _not_ let Sable get outside."

"Got it, puppet fucker. You go get Fishface, Dei-chan, and Kakuzu. I'll watch the blond brat." Hidan said dismissively.

Sasori nodded before continuing down the hallway. Hidan shook his head with a sigh before jogging down the hallway, tracking Sanaa's chakra as it ran through the base.

**First Person Alice!**

I hummed to myself as I began preparing the meat for dinner. I had just turned away from the counter to grab something off the table when a black blur raced into the kitchen, ran by me, and charged out of a different door.

A second later, Sanaa came in, following after the black blur and yelling for it to stop along with a few crows. I raised my eyebrow in confusion before shrugging. I continued to the table, grabbed the salt and went back to the counter.

Just as I began putting salt on the food, Hidan ran through the kitchen, swearing under his breath. I looked after him for a minute before glancing at the miser sitting at the table.

"It's so fun to watch them try to catch her." I smiled.

Kakuzu chuckled. "I can't wait until they corner her. Because she'll attack Hidan."

I laughed. "True. What do you want to accompany your dinner?"

He stared at me for a minute in thought before shrugging. "Rice will do."

I nodded. "Rice it is."

**Third Person!**

"Why is this dog so fucking fast?" Hidan demanded. "I'll fucking kill that Inuzuka asshole for teaching her to run with fucking chakra!"

"Sable! Stop running away!" Sanaa whined as she narrowly avoided running into a wall. Hidan, however, didn't.

"Dumbass, un!" Deidara called as he ran onto the hallway, having just received his new mini-mission from his Danna. He and Kisame had split up to try and herd the wolf to the indoor training grounds. "Why are you such an idiot Hidan, yeah?"

"Fuck you blond bitch!" Hidan shouted.

Deidara laughed before running after his daughter. "Hey baby, un!"

"Hi Daddy!" Sanaa yelled, waving back at her father. "Sable's being bad yeah!"

"Chase her to the training grounds yeah." Deidara told her as he caught up to her.

"Kay." She nodded.

Deidara glanced over his shoulder. "Keep up, Hidan hmm!"

Hidan cackled when Deidara ran into a wall a second later because he hadn't been paying attention. "How's that for fucking Karma you big dumb bitch!" He kicked Deidara for spite before running after Sanaa and Sable, laughing all the while.

Itachi sighed as he and Kisame stood at the end of the hallway near the training grounds. Deidara, Hidan, and Sanaa were chasing Sable towards them and Sasori was blocking the only other hallway that Sable could use as an escape route. Kakuzu stood on the other side of the training grounds, blocking the only open exit.

"This is more difficult than it should be." Itachi stated.

"I feel like Alice set this up." Kisame grinned, glancing at his partner.

Itachi shook his head. "No. Alice is far too OCD and she cares for Sable far too much to do something like this. She wouldn't risk the messes this venture is going to cause, nor would she risk Sable possibly getting hurt."

"True." Kisame nodded. "So why is this so difficult?"

"Because Sable is Alice's pet." Itachi deadpanned. "And that wolf is way more intelligent than she ought to be."

Kisame snickered. "I'll say." He elbowed his partner. "She's coming."

Itachi and Kisame looked down the hallway to see Sable dart around the corner. She skidded to a stop when she saw them and she growled, her ears back and her tail stiff. She trotted forward when Sanaa ran around the corner and she went to run down one of the other hallways, only to growl when she saw Sasori.

Out of options, Sable ran into the training grounds. Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Sanaa, Deidara, and Hidan followed after the wolf as she raced into the massive, almost vacant room.

Sable ran away from Kakuzu when he shot his hands towards her and she ran to one of the other doors. She scratched at it before turning around to face her pursuers. She started snarling instantly and her hair rose as she crouched and prepared to attack.

"Sable, down." Itachi ordered.

Sable ignored him.

"Hidan." Sasori stated, elbowing the Jashinist. "It's all you."

Hidan walked forward, ready to jump at Sable even though he knew she was going to bite the shit out of him. She snapped at him and bared her teeth, looking vicious. When Hidan's hand got too close to her, she lunged and latched onto his arm, enticing a pained shout from the Jashinist.

"Sable! Sit girl!"

Sable's snarling stopped instantly and she perked up after releasing Hidan's arm, looking around said Jashinist to see Tiburon waving at her from the doorway. Her tail wagged excitedly and she sat down, howling happily at his arrival.

"We went through all that shit when we could have just done that?" Hidan shouted, nursing his wounded arm. He glared at a happy Sable "Fucking mutt!"

Itachi grabbed Sable's collar and flicked her nose gently when she growled at him. "No."

Her ears flattened and she looked down, knowing she was in for it. Itachi attached the leash Sable had to her collar and stood there while Tiburon jogged over. Sable's tail wagged and she tackled Tiburon, smothering him with kisses.

"Hi Sable." Tiburon laughed as he tried to avoid her tongue.

"What are you doing here, Tiburon?" Itachi asked, coaxing Sable off of his son. "I thought you were training with Sasuke."

"I was." Tiburon told him as he got up. "But mom told me you guys needed help getting Sable to take a bath. So I thought I'd help you out. You could have offered her treats or something if calling for her didn't work."

"That would have been nice to know, un." Deidara sighed. "How come the two dog lovers are the ones who never have to about die trying to catch Sable yeah?"

"Because you guys call Sable a dog and not a wolf." Tiburon told him. "That was your first mistake."

Itachi rolled his eyes and rumpled Tiburon's hair. "Thank you, Tiburon. Now let us go to the kitchen. After dinner, your mother is going to give Sable a bath and I'm sure she would like your help."

"Okay." Tiburon said with a shrug and a smile. "Come on Sable."

Sable barked and trotted after Tiburon, Itachi holding the leash attached to her collar. Her tail swished happily as she followed them. She had fun playing with everyone today and she had some blood on her from Hidan's arm. She was a little dirty and her fur was clumping together a little because of Hidan's blood.

That wouldn't do. She needed to get rid of that.

Maybe her mommy would use that new shampoo and conditioner that smelled really good. And maybe, if she was good, she would get a treat for behaving.

Yes, after dinner, a warm bath would be nice.

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Tiburon!<strong>

"Tibby, wake up."

I shifted in my sleep and rolled over. A second later, a wet tongue ran across my face and excited whimpers filled the room. Snickering sounded from the door and I huffed tiredly.

"Sable, quit." I growled, pushing away Sable's big head. She just jumped on my bed and flopped on me, nuzzling my face to get me up. "Mom, get Sable out."

"She's the only thing that gets you up." Mom told me. I opened my eyes to glare at her, only for her smirk to widen. "Get up. You're going to meet your new teammate with Sasuke and Sanaa."

I stared at her for a moment before rolling over and preparing to go back to sleep.

"Tiburon." She sighed. When I didn't make a move to get up, she clicked her tongue. "Fine. Suit yourself. Sable, come." Sable barked and hurried after her, jumping off my bed.

I tensed. I knew what that meant. It could only mean a few things. Either Sanaa was going to come in here, Hidan-oji would come in, or Mom would send Kisa in. I hope for Hidan-oji and Sanaa.

Kisa likes to use water jutsu on me to get me up.

A moment later, my door cracked open and Sanaa ran in. "TIBBY!"

I grunted as Sanaa jumped on me and began bouncing on my bed. She was already dressed and ready to go. Her hair was up and she had her ninja attire on as well as her scratched out Shinobi headband Dei had given her so she didn't affiliate with just Konoha or Ame. "Get up Tibby! Get up! Get up! Get up!"

I groaned as she continued jumping on me and shoved her off the bed. She landed on her feet but huffed angrily and stormed out of my room. "ICY! He won't get up!"

"Itachi, deal with your son." My mother growled. "If I have to get him up, I'm going to use a fucking door. I swear, he is worse than you in the mornings."

"Tiburon." My dad said calmly. "You have ten seconds to get out of bed."

"Dad!" I whined. "Ten more minutes."

"Eight seconds." His voice warned.

Huffing, I rolled over, kicked my blankets off, and got out of bed. I stuck my head out of my bedroom door and looked towards my parents' room. My dad was sitting on his bed, his shirt off and his hair down like he had just woken up too.

He was watching me with his Sharingan, his eyebrow raised threateningly. I stuck my tongue out at him before heading to my bathroom. I swore I saw him smirk.

I hurried through my morning routine that mom had pounded into my head since I was really little and I left my room, my hair a little wet. My scratched Konoha forehead protector kept it out of my face though so I didn't mind.

I had a Konoha forehead protector because my dad had one. I considered Konoha my home away from home because Sasuke was there. Sure, the Akatsuki was directly connected to Ame, but Konoha felt like home. Ame was too… rainy and depressing.

A second after I left my room, I ran straight into a meat wall. Looking up at the mass I ran into, I smiled at seeing Kisa grinning down at me. He rumpled my hair. "Hey Tibby."

"Hi Kisa." I smiled.

He patted my head. "Sasuke and Sanaa are waiting for you by the entrance. You better hurry. Your mom is having a panic attack about you leaving." Kisa told me.

I sighed. "She's so strange."

"She's your mom. She's required." Kisa snickered. "Get going. Be good, and listen to Sasuke."

"I will." I nodded. "Bye Kisa."

He winked at me before pushing me down the hallway. I applied chakra to my legs and feet before running down the hallway, excitement coursed through me as I thought about becoming a real Shinobi like my dad and my uncles.

That was my dream.

I wanted to be just like my dad if not better.

He was a legend.

I wanted to be one too.

As I reached the entrance hall, my mom was glaring ahead, her hand on Sable's head. She was running her fingers through the same spot on Sable's head which proved she was anxious about me leaving.

"Mom." I sighed, walking over to her. "I'm gonna be okay. Sasuke's gonna be with me."

"I know." She sighed. She pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Behave. If Sasuke tells me you were misbehaving, you're going to be in trouble. Understand? And _no_ traps."

"Yeah." I nodded. I pulled away from her and smiled at my dad when he poked my forehead. "See you dad."

"Be good, Tiburon." He told me calmly. "And enjoy yourself."

"I will." I grinned. I waved to them before walking over to Sasuke. He smirked at me before grabbing my hood on my jacket and pulling it over my head.

"Don't be so smug." He told me. "Let's go. Once we've met up with Cielo, we have a small mission to fulfill." He released me before addressing my parents. "I'll have them back by nightfall. Save us some dinner."

**Third Person!**

"I will." Alice sighed. She watched Sasuke, Tiburon, and Sanaa take off out of the base and run away from it before the doors closed and cut off her view of them. She looked at Itachi. "Is it bad that I wish he didn't have chakra sometimes?"

"No." Itachi told her, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Having chakra has its ups and downs."

Alice hugged her husband and exhaled loudly. "Tell me about it."

* * *

><p>"I wonder what he's like…" Sanaa mused, skipping beside Tiburon as they trailed after Sasuke. Said Jōnin was leading them towards the designated meeting place, just as curious as they were to see their newest member.<p>

Sasuke just hoped he wasn't like Naruto.

"Is that Konan?" Sanaa wondered, squinting her eyes to see further.

"Hn." Sasuke confirmed. "Konan is watching over our new member until we get there. His name is Cielo Oscuro." He glanced over his shoulder towards his nephew and Sanaa. "Be nice."

"We will!" Sanaa assured him. "Right Tibby?"

Tiburon nodded. "Yep."

"Konan's leaving." Sanaa pointed out, gesturing towards the swirl of paper that erupted beside a shorter figure. "Come on sensei. Let's hurry!"

Tiburon sighed. "Sasuke, do I have to call you sensei?

Sasuke shook his head. "No. It sounds weird coming from you two."

"Good." Tiburon nodded. He glanced at Sanaa and smirked. "I'll race you there."

She grinned. "Okay! GO!"

She and Tiburon took off at the same time, Tiburon rocketing by her because of natural speed and a greater amount of chakra.

Sasuke sighed and jogged after them, already getting worn out by their stamina. Sanaa had been bouncing since early this morning and she showed no signs of stopping. Tiburon was a little more bearable, but he could snap into his Alice personality in an instant and then wear down anyone in the vicinity.

"Hi!" Sanaa squealed loudly, rushing into the personal space of a young boy standing in the shade of a tree. "I'm Sanaa! You must be Cielo yeah! I'm _so_ excited to meet you! You have really pretty eyes! Do you have any hobbies? I have lots of hobbies yeah! What's your favorite color? Mine's blue yeah! What…"

Sasuke put his hand over Sanaa's mouth and pulled her away from Cielo. "Calm down, Sanaa. One thing at a time."

She looked up at Sasuke. "Mrry."

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Hush. We'll get to know each other soon enough, but let's do it in a calm fashion."

She huffed as he released her. "Okay Sasuke."

Sasuke's Sharingan flicked away from the blond at his feet and landed on the newest member of his Genin team. He had light blue eyes that reflected the light blue sky perfectly. They were partially shielded by his short, jet black hair. It was relatively messy and his bangs were swept to the side so they stayed out of his eyes.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I'm your Jōnin sensei." Sasuke greeted. "I've heard good things about you."

Cielo looked up at Sasuke with intelligent, calm eyes. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Cielo Oscuro though you probably knew that. My clan was very excited to hear I was going to be trained by an Uchiha." He smiled. "They were even more impressed because of how renown you are."

Sasuke dipped his head. "Let's get to know each other. We don't have to start our mission for another four hours and it will only take about thirty minutes to get there."

"Yay!" Sanaa cheered. She plopped down on the ground, facing Sasuke and patted the space beside her. "Come sit here, Cielo."

Tiburon shrugged boredly before sitting on Sanaa's other side. Cielo nodded quietly and took a seat beside Sanaa and looking up at Sasuke.

"I'm not exactly… practiced at these things, so I will just do it like my Jōnin sensei did." Sasuke mused. He looked over his students. "Tell me your name, your likes and dislikes, and your dreams for the future. Add in a fact about yourself that you are most proud of." He smirked. "I'll go first."

"Okay!" Sanaa chirped, looking up at Sasuke excitedly.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything." Sasuke began, smirking at the memories. "I don't really have a dream for the future since I've pretty much accomplished everything I ever wanted to or needed to." He shrugged. "As for a fact about myself… I like tomatoes."

Sanaa huffed. "Sasuke, we already knew all that!"

"Cielo didn't." Tiburon told her. "Go ahead Sanaa."

Sanaa smiled brightly and wiggled in her seat. "I'm Sanaa Alice! I love all kinds of things like my parents and my Sori-Danna and all of my uncles and aunts! I don't like snakes or the dark." She went silent for a moment. "My dream is to be pretty like my Mom and a powerful Shinobi like my Dad and my Sori-Danna." She beamed. "And a fact about myself… I have hand mouths yeah!"

"Not yet." Tiburon reminded her. "You're not old enough yet."

"But I will!" Sanaa stressed. She smiled at Cielo's confused look and showed him her hands. On her palm, there was what appeared to be a scar. "My Daddy has hand mouths that help him make his art. I'll have them when I get big too. They're really cool yeah!"

Cielo nodded. "I've heard about them. My clan has many books on a group of ex missing-ninjas called the Akatsuki. A man in their ranks had them."

"That's my Daddy!" Sanaa informed him. "His name is Deidara."

Cielo raised his eyebrow. "You're related to Akatsuki members?"

Tiburon and Sanaa nodded. "Yep."

"Cool." He said, clearly impressed. His eyes fell on their forehead protectors. "I see now… Your forehead protectors are scratched out like the Akatsuki."

"So is yours, but that's because you're from Ame." Sanaa reminded him. "But it's your turn. You go. I wanna know about you!"

Sasuke smirked a little, both exasperated by Sanaa's exuberance but thankful that she was so friendly or else this would be a lot less interesting. He was internally making connections between this group and Team Seven.

Sanaa was definitely Naruto while Tiburon was being a typical Uchiha at the moment. He couldn't tell for sure yet, but he knew Cielo didn't match up to either Sakura or Kakashi. He would just have to wait and see. Perhaps Sai…

Cielo was pale enough…

"I'm Cielo Oscuro. I like clouds and the rain. I dislike the heat and I hate sweets." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I want to become the most powerful Shinobi my clan has ever seen so I can give my father his last wish of protecting the clan. As for a fact about me that I'm proud of, I have a Silver fox as a pet. His name is Ash."

Tiburon perked up a bit at that. "Really?"

Cielo nodded. "Yeah. He's really cool."

"I have a pet wolf." Tiburon told him. "Her name is Sable."

"I like wolves." Cielo smiled.

Tiburon smirked at him. "Good."

"Go ahead Tiburon." Sasuke stated, amused by their connection over animals. Alice would be thrilled.

Tiburon nodded. "My name is Tiburon Shisui Uchiha. I hate vegetables and pink. I love sweets and wolves. My dream for the future is to be a better Shinobi than my dad and Kisa." He smirked and looked at Sasuke. "And my uncle."

Sasuke chuckled.

Tiburon sighed. "Uh… a fact about me… I have my Sharingan." He then proceeded to focus a sliver of chakra into his eyes and they flashed red as his blood line ignited.

Cielo looked between him and Sasuke. "Are you guys related?"

Sasuke dipped his head. "Tiburon is my nephew. His father is my elder brother."

"So… then… your dad is Itachi Uchiha?" Cielo wondered.

Tiburon smirked proudly. "Yep."

"And your mother is the Seer?" He continued.

"Yes." Tiburon nodded.

"Cool." Cielo stated.

Sasuke sighed. "Well, shall we get in a little practice? I want to see how you three do as a team." He looked around for something before smirking. "I want you three to try and put a scratch on my forehead protector." He tapped the metal with his thumb. "Work together, or you won't even touch me."

Tiburon got to his feet and pulled a kunai from nowhere. Sanaa copied him, crouching on the ground as she prepared to spring. Cielo pulled some shuriken from his pouch and fell into a stance, ready to launch them.

Sasuke smirked. "Begin."

* * *

><p><em>He's so loveable.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Cielo is a character in one of my original stories.  
><em>

Answer: _I only watch a few comedians. My favorites would have to be Kevin Hart, Brian Regan, and Dane Cook. Russel Peters is pretty amusing too though. However, I think Jim Carrey, Michael Meyers, and Robin Williams are beyond hilarious as well.  
><em>

**QotC: **_Favorite OC? Alice, Kathryn, Tiburon, Sanaa, Cielo, Sonido, Big Nose, Mole, etc.? I was asked to ask this question so yeah. :/_

_**WotC: **Fox - Zorro in Spanish:)  
><em>

_:)  
><em>

_See ya  
><em>


	28. Chapter 28

_Hello sweetums~_

_Forgive me for posting this later. I had a crap load of stuff to do today. I literally only have a fifteen minute period to post this.  
><em>

_So, enjoy.  
><em>

_And I heart you.  
><em>

_Lots.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

I sat on the kitchen counter, drumming my fingers insistently on the hard surface. The hard tapping of my nails on the surface clicked through the entire kitchen, much to the annoyance of the others.

However, none of them dared piss me off at the moment. I was close to having a panic attack and if one of them bothered me, I'd probably snap and kill them.

Being without Tiburon is horrible for my health.

Fuck ninjas…

"Alice." Itachi whispered, placing his hand over mine to stop my tapping. "Calm down."

I glared at him. "Shut it."

He kissed me gently. "He will be home soon, Alice. Relax. Sasuke is with him and you know Sasuke is perfectly capable of protecting our son." He stroked my cheek and pressed his forehead to mine. "Their mission was simple. They only were cleaning up a park."

I looked into his beautiful eyes and huffed. "I know. But I can't help it."

"I know." He said softly. He rubbed his nose against mine. "Just be patient."

"They're _late_." I stressed. "They should have been back an hour ago."

"**Chill Alice.**" Zetsu soothed as he emerged from the kitchen floor. "They're coming here now. **All of them.**"

I raised my eyebrow. "Even the new kid?"

"Yes." Pein confirmed, walking into the room. "Cielo will be staying here in the base with us so things are more convenient. His clan is perfectly fine with it and they look forward to seeing his progress during the Chunin exams." He looked towards me. "Which, I forgot to tell you, Tiburon and Sanaa are attending the first time it comes around."

I glared at him, my eye twitching. "You _want_ to kill me don't you?"

"Have some confidence in Tiburon's abilities, Alice." Konan soothed. "They'll be fine. With Sasuke and everyone else training them, there is no way they would fail."

"I have utter confidence in Tiburon." I stated. "I'm his mother. I'd be worry about him even if he was immortal and as powerful as all of you combined."

Kathryn smiled. "It's a mom thing."

"You're not freaking out." Pein pointed out.

"You have no idea." Kathryn told him. "I had a breakdown earlier when they left. That's why I wasn't in the room to see them off. If I had been, I wouldn't have let Sanaa go."

Pein rolled his eyes. "Women."

Konan gave him a look, but he avoided amending himself by avoiding eye contact. Instead, he crossed his arms and looked at me. "I believe you will like Cielo."

"How so?" I asked. I was a little biased towards Cielo because he was on my son's team and he had a Spanish name. And by biased, I mean I already liked him more than any other kid I might meet.

"He has a pet fox."

I looked towards the door to see Sasuke. He was leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. "Tiburon and Sanaa are helping him get settled into his new room." He smirked and looked at me. "Sorry for being late. We passed by a tea shop on the way home and Tiburon saw dango. I couldn't pry him off of the picnic table without getting him one."

I threw a glare at Itachi. "I blame you."

Itachi sniffed and avoided looking at me. "Hn."

"You'll also be interested to know that Tiburon broke some kid's nose." Sasuke stated.

"How?" Itachi sighed. "And why?"

Sasuke glanced at his brother. "He set a trap meant for me and some kid walked right into it. Luckily, Sanaa healed it."

My eyebrow twitched. "That brat and his traps." I got off the counter. "TIBURON SHISUI UCHIHA! Get your Uchiha ass in this damn kitchen right now!"

Hidan snickered. "Uh oh. Ice Bitch is on the fucking war path."

"What did I do?" He called.

"_Now!_" I repeated. "Or I'll come and get you. And I can guarantee you will _not_ like that alternative."

He sighed. "Mom!"

"Tiburon." Itachi stated calmly. "Now."

A few moments later, Tiburon walked into the kitchen with Sanaa and an adorable little black haired kid who must have been at most a few months older than Tiburon. Tiburon caught my glare and he rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish look emerging on his face when he felt Itachi's stern gaze.

"What?" He asked.

"What is this I hear about you breaking some kid's nose with a _trap_ that I know I told you _not_ to make?" I growled.

Tiburon paled a little. "I was caught in the moment… I didn't think he'd walk into it. Sanaa healed him and no one knew it was me."

"Besides your uncle." I snapped. "Tiburon."

He looked at me, a ghost of his pouting face in his expression. "I missed you."

I frowned. "Don't try and butter me up, Tiburon Shisui."

"I'm not." He stressed. "I'm sorry."

"You are lucky I love you." I growled, pointing at him. "Disobey me again and I _will_ show you why people from where I came from used to fear me." I looked over the trio. "How was the mission?"

"Really fun!" Sanaa chirped as she bounced around Tiburon to hug Sasori. "I missed everyone though!"

Sasori stroked her hair. "We missed you too, brat."

She beamed before looking at her mother. "Mommy, Cielo is _so_ cool! He's almost as cool as Daddy. He hit Sasuke in the face during practice! Me and Tibby helped him, but it was really awesome!"

Deidara glared daggers at the little boy standing quietly between Tiburon and Sasuke. He was looking around at all of us, obviously impressed and in awe.

I threw a towel at Deidara. "Stop glaring at him." I looked at Cielo and smiled. "Welcome to the Akatsuki base, Cielo. It's nice to meet you. I'm Alice, Tiburon's mother."

He smiled shyly at me. "Hi. It's nice to meet you. You have really pretty eyes."

I laughed. "I like this kid." I looked at Pein. "Can we keep him?"

"Yes." Pein nodded. "Welcome, Cielo. I look forward to seeing your improvement under the tutelage of my subordinates and Sasuke. Utilize your options because there are a large variety of experts here. All you need to do is ask, and they will assist you."

Konan patted Cielo's head and gave him a gentle hello before she grabbed two plates of food from the counter and handed one to Pein. A moment later, they left.

"Oh my Jashin!" I pointed. "Cute!"

A decently large and yet not huge, charcoal gray fox trotted into the room and sat beside Cielo's feet. Its tail was huge and bushy and it had a puffy, white tip. All in all, it was freaking adorable.

"This is Ash." Cielo told me. "He's my pet fox."

"I love foxes!" I smiled. I looked at Itachi. "I want one of those next."

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Sable will be jealous."

"Sable is perfect. She harbors no negative emotions." I scoffed. I whistled. "Sable!"

A howl ripped through the air and Sable trotted into the room from another door. She walked over to me and sat in front of me, her ears back and her tail wagging excitedly. I crouched and pet her. "Sable, you have a new friend. Be nice to him."

Sable followed my hand and her eyes landed on the small form of Ash the fox. She twisted around in an instant and sniffed the air, her tail wagging slowly in the air as she sniffed him curiously.

Ash did the little fox hissing noise foxes make before he hid behind Cielo's legs. Sable sat down, cocking her head to the side as if startled by the fact that something didn't tell her she was beautiful.

Cielo smiled. "It's okay Ash." He pet the fox's head and coaxed him forward. Ash crept closer to Sable who sat there calmly, not showing any hostility at all. She let him sniff her before gently sniffing his back as he walked partially around her.

She obviously liked what she smelled because she licked his fur. He made a purring nose type thing and rubbed against Sable's legs, licking her fur in return. Her tail began wagging excitedly and she licked his ears, excited about a new friend.

"Awe!" I stated. "So cute! My baby is so nice!"

Sasori rolled his eyes. "You and animals."

"Shut up. This is art." I snapped.

"Don't wolves eat foxes?" Kakuzu asked. "I'm surprised she hasn't eaten him yet."

I scoffed. "Sable isn't vicious unless I tell her to be. Or unless Hidan pisses her off."

Tiburon elbowed Cielo and grinned at him. "I told you Sable was awesome. My mom trained her herself."

I rumpled Tiburon's hair. "Why don't you introduce Cielo to your dad, uncles, and aunt?"

"Kay." Tiburon shrugged. He pointed at Itachi. "That's my dad, Itachi Uchiha."

Itachi dipped his head in silent greeting, his eyes boring into the poor kid. Cielo met his gaze and held it easily. It might not have been wise to do to an unknown Sharingan master like Itachi had he been anyone else, but that kid had guts and he did it without hesitation. Most people avoided looking into Itachi's eyes, even if Itachi had no quarrel with them.

Tiburon grinned when he was suddenly picked up from behind and hoisted off the ground. "And this is Kisa." He turned in Kisame's arms and hugged Kisame.

Kisame hugged him back before looking down at Cielo. He grinned at him and winked. "Hey kid. I'm Kisame Hoshigaki. I hope you like it here, even if you lose your sanity."

Cielo smiled, laughing a little. "Thank you."

"This is Kuzu-oji!" Sanaa announced, patting Kakuzu's covered head from Sasori's lap. "He _loves _money and he's really, really tough!" She was a lot more enthusiastic about introductions and Tiburon's boring intros must have been bothering her.

"My name is Kakuzu." Kakuzu corrected with a grunt.

"The guy with silver hair next to Kuzu-oji is Hidan-oji. He never wears a shirt and he says a lot of bad words, but he's actually really nice!" Sanaa continued.

Hidan threw Sanaa a glare before looking at Cielo. "Sup?"

Cielo dipped his head politely, his fingers itching towards his fox's tail who had returned to his side. Obviously, Ash was both a friend and something like a comfort blanket. Tiburon and Sanaa were each other's comfort blankets.

I felt bad for Cielo. He was thrust into a new home with a bunch of intimidating Shinobi and the only comfort he had was his fox. He had some teammates, but he hadn't known them for much longer than the rest of us.

If anyone was mean to him, I'd kill them.

"This is my mommy!" Sanaa told him. "She's super pretty and awesome!"

Kathryn giggled. "Awe, you're so sweet Sanaa! _You're_ super pretty and awesome!" She hugged Sanaa and smiled brightly at Cielo. "It's very nice to meet you Cielo and we're glad to have you. My name is Kathryn, but you can call me Kat or something else if you want. Tiburon calls me Kitty."

"I call her Skinny Bitch." Hidan smirked.

"Don't call her that, un." Deidara grunted, punching Hidan in the head. "Dick, hmm."

Hidan glared at him, but didn't respond when I smacked the back of his head and Deidara's. "Knock it off the pair of you, or you won't get dinner."

They both fell silent.

Sanaa giggled. "This is my Daddy. He's awesome too." She hugged Deidara's neck.

Deidara grinned at her before looking at Cielo. "My name is Deidara, yeah."

Cielo smiled. "Sanaa has told me a lot about you two and a… Sori-Danna?"

"My name is Sasori." Sasori corrected.

"He's my Sori-Danna." Sanaa beamed. "He's the best."

Sasori looked at Deidara. "Hear that? I'm the best. Take that, brat."

Deidara glared.

"The guy with the plant thingy is Zetsu." Sanaa continued. "He's super cool and really funny."

Zetsu looked at Cielo. "We're the Akatsuki spy. **We're not around that often though.** But it's nice to meet you. **Sure.**"

Cielo nodded. "It's nice to meet all of you."

"Are you hungry?" I asked him. "Dinner's just about ready."

"Icy makes the best dinner. _Ever_." Sanaa told him. She hopped down from Sasori's lap and pulled Cielo over to a chair. "Here, you can sit here by Tiburon and Tachi. Don't worry, Tachi's not mean. He's just really quiet." She smiled. "I think he's shy."

Itachi raised his eyebrow in confusion while Deidara snickered at Itachi.

I rolled my eyes and went to the stove. "Everyone sit. Dinner's done."

Tiburon sat beside Cielo while an empty chair rested on Cielo's other side. From the way the table was set up, Cielo was forced to sit directly across from Kathryn who smiled at him brightly.

The table in the Uchiha stronghold was for like banquets because well… the Uchiha clan was freaking huge. The kitchen was large and the dining room that was connected to it was twice as big.

Thank Jashin for that because half of the people in the Akatsuki are claustrophobic.

Usually, on one half, Sasori, Sanaa, Kathryn, and Deidara sat. On the other half it was Kisame, me, Itachi, and Tiburon. Hidan and Kakuzu usually sat beside each other at the head of the table closest to the kitchen because the table was really wide.

Today, Cielo was added onto our side while Sasuke sat beside Deidara. Zetsu sat at the head of the table across from Hidan and Kakuzu, a seat away from Sasuke and Cielo. Sable would end up taking one of the empty seats and I'm sure Ash would too.

I set the table and dished out dinner and everyone dug in.

I fed Sable and found some food for Ash to eat that would fit a natural diet for a fox. Cielo thanked me quietly for feeding his fox and, when the meal was over, he thanked me sweetly for the meal.

He's a sweetheart.

I want to keep him.

"I want you to know that I already like this adorable little kid more than I do half of you." I announced as I collected plates after everyone besides Hidan was finished.

He was undoubtedly the fastest and biggest eater, but he liked to eat whatever was left so I didn't have to store leftovers.

He and Zetsu were good about not wasting food.

"What?" Hidan asked. "Why?"

"Because he thanked me after one meal and he complimented my cooking." I explained. "You haven't said one word of thanks to me and I've been cooking for you since I was seventeen."

Hidan shrugged. "Oh well."

Kakuzu looked at me. "I could smother you with the sheer amount of fucks I could not give."

I glared at him. "That wasn't directed at you, but okay asshole."

He chuckled.

Sanaa put her hands over her ears. "Uh oh. Icy's mad."

Sasori smirked and rumpled her hair before looking at me. "Alice. Language."

"Fine." I huffed. I glanced at my phone and sighed. "Bedtime. Tibby, Sanaa, sleep." I looked at Cielo and smirked at him. "Because you're under the age of thirteen, and I'm in charge around here, you're my responsibility. For your health, it is your bedtime too."

Tiburon sighed. "Mom! We're not kids anymore! We don't need bedtimes!"

I gave him a look. "Want to run that by me once more, Tiburon Shisui?"

He tensed a bit at the look and the full name usage before exaggerating a yawn. "You know, I'm really tired all of a sudden."

"That's what I thought you said." I smirked. "Go on. Sanaa, Cielo, you too."

Sanaa nodded and took some time saying good night to everyone. Those goodnights included a hug and a kiss.

She's a sweetheart.

Sanaa hopped down from her seat and hugged Sasori, kissing his cheek. "Night Sori-Danna. I love you."

Sasori rumpled her hair. "Night kid. I'll see you in the morning."

Sanaa nodded and hugged her mother tightly, sharing a quick familial kiss. "Good night Mommy. I love you."

"Good night baby!" Kathryn giggled, kissing the hell out of Sanaa's face. "I love you too! Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!"

Deidara snatched Sanaa away from Kathryn and smothered her with kisses, much to her amusement. "Have a nice sleep, baby un. I love you yeah."

"I love you too Daddy! Night!" She chirped. She then darted around him and latched onto Sasuke. "You too Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked and rumpled her hair. "Good night, Sanaa."

"How come Tiburon doesn't do this?" Kathryn wondered, giggling as Sanaa latched onto Zetsu and kissed both sides of his face while hugging his neck and telling him she loved him.

I looked at Tiburon who was petting Sable. "He has too much Uchiha in him. And he's my son. We're too bad ass for sentimental shit."

"Hn." Sasuke and Itachi agreed in unison.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Boring."

"Your mother." I retorted.

"My mother is a beautiful woman!" Kathryn snapped.

I grinned. "I know she is."

She smiled. "Well good. As long as you know."

I grunted and my reply was cut off as Sanaa crashed into me. I looked down and smiled at her. "Hey sweetie." I lifted her off the ground since she was still shorter than me and I hugged her tightly. "Good night and sweet dreams. I'll make your favorite for breakfast tomorrow morning."

"Okay!" She smiled. "I love you Icy."

"I love you too." I assured her. I set her down and she used her freedom to latch onto Itachi. Itachi stroked her hair gently and wished her a good night, even permitting her to kiss his cheek.

She moved onto Kisame and that was full of adorableness from both sides. Then she reached Hidan.

And, if you guys didn't already know…

Hidan has a _huge_ soft spot for Sanaa.

Hidan stopped eating and picked Sanaa off the floor so he could hug her and she could wrap her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek and he squeezed her gently. "Goodnight Hidan-oji! I love you!"

"Me too, brat." He rumpled her hair gently and set her down. "Sleep tight and if those fucking bed bugs mess with you, tell me and I'll slaughter their asses for Jashin-sama. Got it?"

She nodded. "Yep!"

"Good." He smirked.

She moved onto Kakuzu and he returned her bidding boredly, but with a softness in his tone no one other than she and Tiburon ever received.

Sanaa tackled Tiburon hugged him tightly and then skipped off to bed. Tiburon stood there for a minute before yawning. "Come on Cielo. Your room's next to mine. We can walk over there together."

Cielo nodded. "Alright. Come Ash."

Ash trotted after Cielo as he walked over to Tiburon.

"Hold on a second." Tiburon told him. He walked over to me and hugged me. "Night. I love you."

I smirked, amused by his attempt to seem cool in front of another kid. I rumpled his hair and kissed the top of his head. "I love you too, Tiburon. Good night. Goodnight Cielo."

He dipped his head at me. "Goodnight everyone."

Most of them, besides Kathryn, Kisame, and white Zetsu, grunted at him. Tiburon did the same, adding in an "I love you" before they left the kitchen.

I smirked and stuck my tongue out at Itachi. "I got a hug. You didn't."

Itachi chuckled. "I have a feeling that will be starting to happen more often as he ages. You _are_ his mother, after all. How many boys do you know who openly hug and kiss their father after the age of eight?"

I rubbed my chin. "Good question. My brother did."

"Yes, well, you and your brother aren't ninjas." Kakuzu reminded me.

"My brother was hugely family oriented too. He was a big sissy despite his size and reputation." I patted Itachi's head and Sasuke's. "It kind of reminds me of a pair of brothers I know."

Sasuke sighed. "I'm used to you insulting my pride. I am no longer affected by it."

I pretended to wipe away a tear and I patted Itachi's shoulder. "They grow up so fast, don't they babe?"

Itachi just chuckled and poked Sasuke's forehead, enticing a scowl from his baby brother.

* * *

><p><em>Bowie is barking at shit under my bed. I don't know if I should be afraid or not...<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Cielo shares his birthday with Deidara. It's May 5th. :)  
><em>

Answer: _My favorite original character from my stories? Probably Alice or Sable. Alice is easiest to write and fun to write, while Sable is just adorable._

**QotC:** _If you could take a now deceased **REAL** person out to a free dinner and talk about whatever you want, who would you pick and why?_

_**WotC: **Cocinar - To cook  
><em>

_All of you are unbelievably amazing and words cannot express my gratitude for all of your support and praise. Seriously, all of you deserve much more than I can give and I apologize for that.  
><em>

_On a side note, I'll probably be fired/quit my job soon. My manager hates me because I'm often so busy that I have to call off or request off work for other things (Such as school) which is ten times more important than a job I'm just working to make some money for college. So, I told him that he either realizes school is more important, or he can look for a new Drive Thru team manager.  
><em>

_Fuck you, you tiny little Greek man.  
><em>

_Anyways, rant over. And just incase I have Greek people reading this, know I don't have anything against you. I have a different Greek manager named Zesus who I absolutely adore. He's the coolest, sweetest (albeit hairiest) old man I know.  
><em>

_Toodles~  
><em>


	29. Chapter 29

_Here is the 29th chapter._

_We are almost caught up with the first story of this trilogy.  
><em>

_:)  
><em>

_Enjoy, my amazingly awesome lovelies. I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Alright." I said, sitting between Itachi and Kisame on the couch in the living room. "Cielo, tell me more about yourself."<p>

He raised his eyebrow, looking shy about everyone looking at him. He instinctively tightened his grip on Ash and sunk lower in his seat. Itachi, Sasuke, Sable, Kisame, Sasori, Tiburon, Kathryn, Deidara, Sanaa, and I were in the living room and he was now the center of attention. Hidan and Kakuzu were out getting supplies with Zetsu.

"You don't have to be nervous." I told him with a smile. "If someone is mean to you, tell me and I'll beat them."

He smiled slightly at that and shrugged. "What do you want to know?"

"What's your favorite color?" Sanaa asked.

Cielo looked at her. "Silver."

"What's your favorite food?" Tiburon wondered.

Cielo shrugged. "Rice."

Kathryn smiled at him. "What's your favorite animal?"

"Foxes." He said quietly. "I like tigers too."

"What's your opinion on art, un?" Deidara asked.

"I've never really been that interested in art." Cielo shrugged. "The extent of my artistic ability ends at writing, and I cannot draw, nor am I good at doing anything… creative."

I raised my eyebrow. "You write?"

"Only sometimes." Cielo admitted. "My grandmother showed me how to use it as an outlet for any overwhelming emotions after my parents died. It's how I cope." He shrugged and buried his face into Ash's fur. "I don't do it very often anymore."

Ash licked his face and made a quiet purring noise.

"You poor thing." Kathryn pouted.

He looked at her. "I'm not sad about it anymore. I've done my grieving and I'm okay with it now."

Sasuke glanced at me from the couch next to mine at Itachi's side. Tiburon was sitting beside him and Cielo sat at the end of the couch. I was staring at Cielo, taking in all of his mannerisms and analyzing his movements.

"You're a strong kid." I told him. "Not a lot of kids your age would be able to handle what you have."

"I'm a Shinobi." He said quietly. "I can't cry my whole life. I have to continue getting stronger so I can protect my clan. My dad was the head of the clan, and when I get older, I will be the clan head. It's only right that I'm able to protect them. Hopefully, I can do it even better than he did."

Itachi dipped his head. "That is a very mature goal, Cielo. Your father would be proud of you, and your clan is lucky to have you."

He smiled slightly in appreciation.

"This is all sentimental and everything, but why are we having a pity party?" Sasori asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Shut up Sasori." I frowned.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Don't make me come over there."

"Bring it, Loofa." I challenged.

He sighed and shook his head. "Your lack of self-preservation is ridiculous."

I shrugged. "I'm not afraid of dying. It's inevitable. The only thing that worries me is who is going to die when Itachi goes into a murderous rampage, and how you all will feed and take care of yourselves if I'm gone. Obviously, none of you knows how to cook or clean to save your lives."

"Hey, I can cook." Kisame pouted.

"Kisame, I've had your cooking before." I deadpanned. "You would not survive on that for the duration of your life. It has merit to it, but it's not healthy."

"And usually all you make is fish, un." Deidara told him.

"There's nothing wrong with fish." Kisame snapped.

I sighed. "No, there isn't. Dei, leave him alone. You can't cook shit."

"I can cook."

All of us looked towards Cielo.

"You can?" I asked.

He nodded. "I used to cook with my grandmother. She taught me all of her recipes and I've committed them to memory."

"I wanna try Cielo's cooking!" Sanaa chirped.

"I can make dinner." He said with a shrug. "If that's okay with you, Alice."

I smirked. "It's fine with me. I'll help you though. There are some things in that kitchen you don't want to touch." I winked at him. "Plus, we'll need to hide the fact that you made it from Hidan because he throws a fit if I don't cook."

"Okay." Cielo nodded.

I pointed at Cielo, looking at Itachi. "I want him."

Itachi sighed.

"I mean it! Look at him. He's adorable." I stated. "And he listens to me. Ours still ignores me half the time." I threw a meaningful look at Tiburon.

Said nine-year-old smiled at me cheekily.

"Brat." I grumbled.

Sasuke smirked. "He listens to me."

"And me." Kisame chimed.

"Neither of you tell him to do things he doesn't want to do." I stated. "The only one he listens to without question is his dad."

Itachi shrugged. "I'm still scarier than you."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Nii-san."

"He listens to me." Sasori stated. "But that's because if he doesn't, I torment him in training."

Kisame snickered. "He listens to Kakuzu better than he does Itachi."

"_I_ listen to Kakuzu." I told him. "Kakuzu's intimidating as fuck when he's mad."

"Good. That means I'm doing something right."

All of us looked towards the speaker to see Kakuzu standing in the doorway, just behind Hidan who was currently trying to fight off Sable's greeting.

"Hey Kakuzu." I smiled.

"Hello." He said boredly. "Since I'm so intimidating and everyone listens to me, Alice go make dinner. I'm hungry."

I glared at him. "Since when did you and Hidan exchange roles for being the organization's number one asshole? Is Hidan going to storm in here, ranting about savings and money?" I scoffed. "You two are taking role play to a whole new level." I smirked. "Trying to spice up the love life, Kuzu?"

Kakuzu crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at me.

I coughed. "Well… I'm just going to go and start on dinner if that's okay with you guys. Cielo, come along love." Cielo smiled slightly and got up from his chair with his fox, fully intending on helping me make dinner for the ungrateful assholes in this base.

Kakuzu grunted. "That's what I thought you said."

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Cielo!<strong>

First off, I would like to point out that this organization is full of the most fucking insane people I have ever met. All of them are strange as hell, and I honestly fear for my own sanity even at this very second.

The sanest of them all is probably my teammate's blue namesake, Kisame Hoshigaki. So far, he hasn't done anything strange that would make me question in his sanity, but that's only a matter of time. I thought that Sasori man was sane, but in reality, he's into necrophilia or something like that.

Though, other than the fact that he lives in the bodies of dead people, the weirdest things he does is argue with Alice and say very confusing things. He's also really impatient and he gets a kick out of tormenting the others.

I would say the next sane would have to be Konan, the blue haired woman I met before the others. She's sane, but I think she might really believe that the Leader of the Akatsuki and the ruler of Ame is in fact a god and she's his angel.

Now the Leader is nuts. He has a god complex that rivals the Jashinist's god obsession. He also is into necrophilia with his six dead bodies always surrounding him.

Hidan is fucking crazy. He runs around half naked with sharp weapons ranting about some made up god and he swears more than necessary. He is overly loud and obnoxious and he constantly smells like blood. And, have I mentioned how terrifying it is to walk in on one of his rituals?

Because that scarred me for life, and I was glued to Alice's side for like two days.

Kakuzu is kind of scary, but he likes to keep to himself so he isn't too bad. His angry side robbed me of sleep for about four days, but that's to be expected when you watch him literally rip Hidan into tiny pieces and then use them, and his head, as projectiles to use when playing fetch with Sable.

Zetsu is a little unnerving, but he's rather harmless unless he's hungry. I tend to avoid him at all costs if he so much as mentions the word food.

Kathryn, or Kitty, as my teammate refers to her as, is harmless. She's crazy, but her strangeness is more amusing than life threatening. She tends to skip more than she walks, and she's more chipper than any other person I've ever met.

Sanaa and Tiburon are alright, and so is Sasuke-sensei, but even they have their strange tendencies. Sensei is like Itachi and Sanaa is a lot like Kathryn. Tiburon isn't even in the same league since he's so much like his mother.

Who, by the way, is the worst one of the bunch.

Alice means well, and she's a really nice person. She's made me feel welcome, but she scares the ever loving hell out of me. One second, she is the sweetest, most gentle being in the world, and the next second, she is trying to rip your head off. It's like two different people are shoved into one person. She makes Zetsu look like a kitten.

Not to mention, she says and does the most ridiculous stuff ever.

Though they are nuts, I feel strangely at home here.

I think I'll like it here.

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Tiburon yawned tiredly as he walked through the hallways with Cielo at his side. Cielo yawned as well, having just woken up because Ash had to go potty. He had been unsure of what to do so early in the morning so he woke Tiburon up so he didn't get in trouble on accident.

Tiburon padded lazily through the hallway to the living room because he knew going back to sleep now would be pointless. His mother would be up soon and she would force him to get up anyways.

So, to occupy themselves, the two teammates went to the living room to watch some TV. However, they quickly realized they weren't the only ones in the room. Hidan was passed out on the couch. The TV, though muted, was on and it lit up the room, filling it with random flashes as the scenes changed.

Tiburon huffed since Hidan was lying in his spot and he poked his uncle's shoulder. "Hidan-oji, you can't sleep on the couch."

When Hidan didn't budge, Tiburon looked at Cielo. "Hey Cielo, wanna help me toss him on the floor?" He blinked when he saw the wide-eyed stare of his teammate. "Cielo?"

Cielo pointed at the TV.

Tiburon followed his gaze and he made a grossed out face.

On the giant TV screen in living room in the middle of the Akatsuki base, was a very rare scene that neither boy had seen before. It was a scene that would cause Hidan's castration if Alice knew it was on.

It was playing on the adult station that was almost never used since it played one thing not suitable for a trio of children.

Porn.

"Ew." Tiburon stated, unable to look away.

Cielo shook his head, still watching. "I don't think her body should be able to bend like that…"

"Tibby, Cielo, what are you guys doing up?" Sanaa asked, walking into the room. "Oh, Hidan-oji's in here." She giggled. "He snores so loud." Her eyes flicked to Tiburon and Cielo when she realized they weren't paying her attention. Frowning, she glared at them. "What are you two…?" Her eyes widened.

"I'm a ninja, and I can't even get into that position…" Tiburon commented. "He has got to be missing some bones to be able to do that."

Cielo nodded in consideration. "I agree, but I think he might be double jointed. That could explain it. Her spine is gonna break if she keeps that pose up though."

"Nah." Tiburon stated, shaking his head. "Spinal cords are actually really sturdy, and she's distributing her weight evenly so it's not too dangerous."

"EW!" Sanaa screamed. "What are you watching?"

Tiburon and Cielo didn't even look at her. "It was on when we came in here."

"B-But!" Sanaa whined, covering her eyes. "Icy is gonna be so mad and Sori-Danna is gonna yell at us if we're watching this! We're gonna get in trouble!"

Tiburon shook his head. "Hidan-oji was watching it."

"Hidan was watching what?" Sasori's voice asked as he entered the room. "Why were you screaming Sanaa and why are you covering your… holy shit."

Sasori moved with the speed of light and covered Tiburon and Cielo's eyes with one arm before locating the remote and pressing the power button. He stared at the TV, his mouth open slightly in shock before he shook his head.

"What were you three watching?" He questioned.

"It was on when we came in here." Tiburon told him. "What was that, Sori-Danna?"

"Nothing." Sasori said quickly. "Nothing at all. I want the three of you to go to the kitchen for a minute for me. There's something I need to do, then we'll talk about this. Alright?"

Sanaa peeked through her fingers before looking Sasori. "Sori-Danna, I'm sorry. Are you mad at us?"

Sasori shook his head. "Not at all, Sanaa." He stroked her hair as he released the boys. "Go ahead. I'll be in there shortly."

Sanaa hugged him, nodding obediently as she did so. When he returned the gesture slightly, she let him go and grabbed Tiburon's hand. "Come on, Tibby. Come on Cielo. We have to go to the kitchen to wait for Sori-Danna."

Sasori watched them go before glaring down at the sleeping Jashinist. However, he didn't immediately kill Hidan. He knew Alice and Itachi would like to know exactly what their son had just saw, so he slipped from the living room and went to Alice's room.

He knocked and dipped his head when Alice opened the door.

She raised her eyebrow at him and stepped back. "Sup Sasori?"

Sasori glanced around for Itachi, noticing he was lying in bed, glaring at the door because he obviously was woken up before he was ready to get up.

"My apologies for waking you up if I did, however I figured you might want to know exactly what just happened." Sasori began.

Alice's eyes habitually flicked across the hallway and she tensed at seeing Tiburon's door open. "What happened, Sasori?"

"I just walked in on Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa watching porn on the TV in the living room. Hidan was passed out on the couch and according to the kids the adult entertainment channel was on when they got there." Sasori growled.

Alice stared at him for a minute. "You're telling me that _my_ baby, _my_ Sanaa, and that little boy that I am determined to adopt just walked in on Hidan's porn fixation?" Her eyebrow twitched. "Two nine-year-olds and a ten-year-old just saw something explicit because Hidan is a fucking moron?"

Sasori nodded. "Yep."

"HIDAN!" Alice shouted, grabbing her sword from the wall beside the door and ripping it out of its sheath. "Sable, kill Hidan!"

Sable, who was sitting on the bed, threw back her head and howled loudly, no doubt rousing everyone in the base that wasn't already awake because of Alice's shouting. She snarled viciously before taking off out of the room.

Itachi sighed in annoyance and stood up. He walked by Alice, grabbing her sword and left the room.

"Where are you going?" Sasori asked, watching Itachi walk smoothly down the hallway.

Itachi paused and glanced over his shoulder, his Sharingan blazing. "To vent my frustration on a religious, moronic nuisance."

Alice stared after him, her gaze south of his waist. "I hate to see him go, but I love watching him leave." She grinned. "He's so sexy when he's pissed off and tired." She elbowed Sasori. "Come on. I want to watch Hidan suffer."

Sasori chuckled and followed after Alice, amused by her antics and the thought of Hidan being torn to pieces by Itachi and Sable.

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

"I want the three of you to do your best to completely forget everything you just saw." I instructed as I stood in front of Sanaa, Tiburon and Cielo respectively. I had summoned them to my room and they were sitting on my bed with Sable and Ash lying on either side of Tiburon.

Itachi was leaning against the wall behind me, still shirtless and with his hair down, drinking a glass of water to calm himself down off his murderous high. Sasori and Deidara were standing behind Kathryn as she sat in one of the chairs in my room, watching us.

Kakuzu was putting Hidan back together and Kisame was sitting on my dresser, smirking.

"Why?" Tiburon asked.

"You need to because that show you saw is very, very bad. It's not for kids. It's for stupid perverts like Hidan." I informed him.

Cielo cocked his head to the side. "What were they doing?"

I introduced my palm to my forehead.

"You don't need to worry about that until you get older, Cielo." Kisame told him. "What they were doing is for adults and adults only."

Sanaa raised her hand. "Do you and Tachi do that stuff, Icy?"

Itachi choked on his water.

Sasori, Deidara, and Kisame snorted while Kathryn made a face.

I sighed. "No, Itachi and I have never done the nasty things they were doing in that show. Neither, I hope, have your mother and father."

"Mom, what were they doing?" Tiburon pressed. "They were doing weird stuff and that woman's body should not have bent like that."

Deidara buried his face into his arm

"They were cleaning." I told him. "It's a very… dangerous way to clean someone which is why only trained professionals and adults do it."

Sasori gave me a look, but I flicked him off.

If he had something better, he could stand here and try and save their innocence.

Why do I always have to do all the work?

"How come Hidan-oji was watching it?" Sanaa wondered.

"Because he is the epitome of a moron." Itachi informed her.

She nodded. "Oh. Kuzu-oji said that too."

Cielo frowned. "I'm confused."

"As you get older, things will become clear kids. That I promise you." I sighed. "For now, just focus on being Shinobi."

"Kay!" All three of them chimed.

* * *

><p><em>Alice calls Hidan a pervert, but in reality, she's probably just as bad as he is. XD<em>

_**Fun Fact: **They have square watermelons in Japan - they stack better.  
><em>

Answer: _When I asked the question, I originally meant famous people. But... I guess dead relatives are cool too. As for me, I'd take Hitler out. I want to compare heights and punch him in the mouth. Abe Lincoln would be fun too. He's my favorite president._

**QotC:** _Who would win in a fight: Darth Vader from_ Star Wars_ or Legolas from_ The Lord of the Rings?

_**WotC:** Sick - Enfermo(a)_

_Cielo has a Spanish name because I wanted him to have a Spanish name. :)  
><em>

_Yes, I have known/do know people with cancer. My grandmother has it, my other one had it. My aunt has it, and one of my friends does. So did Lexy.  
><em>

_OCD means Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  
><em>

_Yeah, I'm done. I love you all in a platonic way. Go rape _xdreamernumbuhfour_'s story Little Clouds for me because it makes me happy. Seriously, go do it. I honestly think she's a better writer than I am. She portrays the kids better than I do too, lol. Go mug _Tori-Da-Mutt_'s stories with affection too. I'm obsessed with her branch story of this. And _Klavieres _deserves ten time more reviews and attention than I get. Go bother all of them.__  
><em>

_See ya.  
><em>


	30. Chapter 30

_Mini-Plot begins now._

_And by Mini-Plot, I mean like no more than a few chapters.  
><em>

_The main focus of this section of this story will be focused on the Chunin exams and a lead in to the main plot of the story.  
><em>

_But, on with the chapter of which, I only own the idea and OCs.  
><em>

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Alice!"<p>

I looked around, just in time to be scooped up by Lee and spun in a circle. I yelped in shock at the attack. "Lee!"

"It is wonderful to see you Alice!" Lee announced as he set me down and gave me a thumbs up.

I stared at him, having a heart attack. "You too, Lee." I exhaled and put my hand over my chest. "You scared me half to death."

"I am very sorry, Alice! I did not mean to startle you!" He exclaimed.

"It's fine." I said dismissively. "Just give me more of a warning."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes Alice!" His gaze flicked around to Kisame and Itachi who were standing behind Cielo, Tiburon, and Sanaa. "Hello Tiburon-kun, Sanaa-chan, Itachi-san, and Kisame-san!" His eyes widened as they landed on Cielo and he darted forward.

He put his face inches from Cielo. "Hello there! What is your name? I am Rock Lee!"

Cielo stared at him as if offended by Lee's exuberance. "My name is Cielo Oscuro."

Lee gave him a thumbs up as well. "It is very nice to meet you, Cielo-kun!" He looked around at me. "Why is young Cielo-kun here, Alice?"

I patted Cielo's head and looked at Lee. "He's mine. I claim him." I smirked a bit. "And he's the third member of Sasuke's Genin squad."

Lee gasped. "What fun?"

Itachi looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "We claim him?"

"Yes we do." I nodded. "Cielo is adorable, he's a sweetheart, he has black hair like you and he's pale like me. I want him so I'm keeping him."

Itachi chuckled. "So be it."

Cielo looked up at me. "Keeping me?"

"I'm unofficially adopting you." I explained. "Hello son number two."

Kisame snickered while Cielo cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Get used to it kid, you're a member of the family now."

Cielo continued to stare for a moment before shrugging. "Whatever."

I grinned and rumpled Cielo's hair. "And he has the stoic Uchiha indifference down like a natural. It's fate."

Itachi cleared his throat. "Alice, we have things we need to do. We cannot linger for too long."

I sighed and looked at him. "I'm stalling being separated from my babies."

Tiburon rolled his eyes dramatically. "Mom, we're gonna be fine. And you still have Sable." He patted the wolf beside him while she just stood there, looking perfect.

"Sable doesn't have the Sharingan like my boy does." I pouted, snatching Tiburon and hugging him. "My baby."

Tiburon just sighed and let me cling to him. My goal was to annoy him, but since he was letting me hug him, I wasn't going to stop until he had enough.

Sanaa giggled. "You're so goofy, Icy."

I grabbed her shirt and pulled her into the hug. "My Sanaa." I turned my attention to Cielo after a moment of Sanaa and I nuzzling Tiburon to irritate him. "Get in this, son number two."

Cielo took a step away from us, angling himself so Ash separated us from him. Ash just cocked his head to the side curiously.

"What are you three doing?"

Itachi and Kisame chuckled. Cielo just glanced over his shoulder while Tiburon and Sanaa snapped their attention to the new arrival. Sable charged forward to greet the new arrival.

"Why hello Duck-Butt, Suigetsu, and Jūgo." I beamed. "I missed you three."

He glared at me and the degrading nicknames. Jūgo waved with a small smile while Suigetsu grinned at me.

"Hey Sasuke." Tiburon greeted. "Hey Suigetsu, hey Jūgo."

"Hi Sensei! Hi Getsu and Juju." Sanaa chirped, detaching herself from me and Tiburon to hug Sasuke. Cielo merely dipped his head in Sasuke's direction, his attention on his pet fox who was now nomming on a stick.

Sasuke looked at us after patting Sanaa's head. "So, are you guys just gonna go back to the base, or are you staying for a bit?"

I sighed and let Tiburon go after kissing his cheek and assuring him that I loved him. "We can't. I have something to drop off for Tsunade, but after this we have to head to Suna to meet with Gaara, and from there, go to Kiri and talk to Mei. Pein's already had a meeting with Black Kage and Ōnoki."

Sasuke nodded. "I understand. I'll watch over these three for you, Alice."

"Do." Itachi told him, poking his forehead. "See you later, little brother. Tiburon, Sanaa, Cielo, the three of you better behave." He glanced at Kisame. "Kisame. Sable, come."

I raised my eyebrow before being scooped up by Kisame a second before the pair of them rocketed towards the Hokage tower, Sable on their tail.

At first, I was slightly irritated at Itachi for not letting me give the kids a last goodbye, but when I think about it, it was probably better this way. If I stayed with them for too long, it would be harder to leave them.

We spent about a half an hour in Tsunade's office before leaving Konoha and heading straight for Suna. We got there after running for three days and sleeping at nights.

Kankuro and Temari were standing outside the village waiting for us.

"Hey guys." I greeted when Itachi set me down. Sable was giving a very friendly hello to Kankuro, much to his displeasure, especially when she knocked him to the sand to be able to lick his face and smear his makeup.

"Hi Alice." Temari smiled. "Uchiha-san, Hoshigaki-san."

Itachi and Kisame dipped their heads at her quietly, holding my hand and standing protectively behind me respectively.

"Alice! Call your dog off!" Kankuro whined.

"She's a _wolf_, Kankuro." I corrected.

He huffed. "Same difference!"

I scoffed. "Heathen. Sable, down."

Sable looked around at me and backed off Kankuro before taking a place in front of Temari and allowing her to pet her. Sable's tail wagged quickly, sending sand in all directions.

"Good girl, Sable." Temari praised. Sable ate up the attention. Temari smiled at her before looking at us. "Come on. Gaara's waiting for you guys."

"Let's not keep Gaara waiting then." I shrugged.

Kankuro, now on his feet, looked at me with smeared makeup all over his face. "How long are you guys staying."

"Until tomorrow morning." I stated. "However, we might stay a little longer to help you find a mirror and a more manly color for your makeup."

"It's _war paint!_" Kankuro protested. "Not makeup! And you can blame that giant mutt!"

I glared at him. "Sable is perfect. Don't talk about her like that."

Kankuro glared at me. "She attacked me."

"I'm about to attack you." I growled. "Don't talk about my baby like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Women."

"If you weren't the Kazekage's brother, I'd have cracked you in the back of the head for talking to Alice like that, brat." Kisame growled.

He wasn't in a good mood because of the heat. I wasn't either, and Kisame hated the heat almost as much as I did. He was just in a worse mood than I was because he had murderous, manly testosterone to fuel his fires.

I just had mood swings and natural negativity.

Anyways, Kankuro paled a little and increased his pace so he wasn't in Kisame's range. Temari smirked at her brother's misfortune, but continued to lead us to Gaara who was sitting in his office behind his desk.

He looked up when we arrived and gave me a ghost of a smile. "Alice."

"Hey Gaara." I greeted with a wave and a smile. "How are you?"

"Perfectly fine. And yourself?" He wondered.

I shrugged. "I hate the heat, but at least your buildings are air-conditioned."

He gestured at the three seats before him. "Please, make yourselves comfortable. I will try to make this quick as I am sure you are all tired and would like a good night's rest before you leave tomorrow."

I took the middle seat while Kisame took a seat to my left and Itachi to my right. Sable sat in front of me, her head resting on my thigh. I pet her absently as I looked at Gaara. "So, Chūnin exams…"

I yawned and stretched before flopping on the bed in front of me. "Let's not go to Kiri and say we did."

Kisame snickered at me and kissed my forehead before lounging on the second bed that he would be sharing with Sable in our hotel room. Itachi and I had the other bed, though Itachi was stretching in the corner, looking like he was about to start meditating or something.

"I'd love to kiddo, but Pein would have our asses." Kisame chuckled, tugging on the toy rope we had brought for Sable. She growled lowly and jerked it away from him, her tail thumping.

"Pein, shmane." I scoffed, waving Kisame's excuse away. "That gingery bitch doesn't scare me. I own him and his organization."

"I am sure he would love for you to say that to his face." Itachi mused as he lifted himself into a hand-stand before coming down into a backbend. He held that position for a moment. "Maybe you should tell him that."

"Oh go meditate." I growled.

Itachi smirked to himself as he resumed a natural standing position. He then folded his legs and sat on the floor. He took a few deep breaths before looking at me. "As you wish."

"Whatever." I stated. "You're cute."

He chuckled but closed his eyes and rested his hands in his lap instead of responding. Kisame and I stared at Itachi for a moment before Kisame let me know Itachi was in the zone by looking away from his meditating partner.

Kisame looked at me. "Go on to sleep, Al. I'll probably follow you in a minute. I'm debating on whether or not I want to take a shower."

I smirked. "I'll join you."

Itachi's eyes opened and his Sharingan flicked to Kisame threateningly.

Kisame was laughing at both my comment and Itachi's reaction.

Itachi rolled his eyes before returning to his meditation while Kisame got up and meandered his way to the bathroom for a shower. I just sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I wouldn't be able to sleep without Itachi or Tiburon so it was pointless to try. Instead, I just lie there waiting for Itachi to join me.

I'm not sure how long I lay there, but eventually Kisame came back and sometime after that, the arms of my weasel wrapped around me and I was pulled against a sturdy, shirtless chest. I smiled and rolled towards the chest, kissing it and inhaling Itachi's intoxicating scent.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you as well." Itachi whispered back.

I smiled. "I love you too, Kisame." I smiled. "I love you Sable."

She gave a soft howl at the attention.

Kisame chuckled from the darkness of his bed, his raspy voice was like a lullaby and combined with Itachi's heartbeat and soothing aroma, I was out in minutes.

* * *

><p>I covered my mouth with a paper towel and my forearm as I coughed, turning away from any hard surface besides the floor. Ever since we had left Suna, I had been feeling like shit. I wasn't entirely sure what was wrong with me, but my coughs were extremely painful, and my body was ten times sorer than it should have been.<p>

Though, that could be contributed to my back which has been acting up for the past few days.

I shifted uncomfortably at the counter and went to the sink to wash my hands before I finished up with dinner. Kisame, Itachi, Sable, and I had gotten back to the base about two days ago, and now we were just waiting for Sasuke to bring the kids home. They had a mission so it would be a few days, but I was counting down the minutes already.

"You okay, Ice Bitch?" Hidan asked, sitting on the far side of the counter and chewing on a bone from one of the chicken legs I had dismantled.

I glanced at him and nodded, washing my hands. "Yeah. My back's just been locking up and my throat hurts." I shrugged, wincing at the spike of pain. "I'll be fine."

"Give yourself that fucking serum when you're done with dinner, Bitch." Hidan ordered, tossing the bone into the garbage can with perfect accuracy. He hopped down from the counter and walked over to me. "Want me to crack it?"

"No." I stated, shaking my head. "Thank you though."

He rumpled my hair. "Anytime, Ice."

I finished dinner soon after and everyone came in to eat. While everyone stuffed their faces, I retreated to my room and shot up with some of Sasori's serum. Excited at the thought of my pain being eased for a little while, I curled up on me and Itachi's bed, waiting for the serum to kick in.

Somehow during that time, I fell asleep, only to wake up later to a dark bedroom and an Uchiha wrapped around my person. I smiled at Itachi's sleeping face and kissed his forehead before sitting up.

It was the wrong thing to do.

Pain erupted from my spine and numerous pinched nerves in my back and spread like a fire throughout my body. I hissed and clenched my fists, my knuckles cracking and nails digging into my palms.

Sasori's serum hadn't kicked in despite the time and I was feeling it.

Being without such intense pain for so long obviously has caused my toleration for pain to go to shit. I typically _might _have been able to swallow this pain from my physical deficiencies, but holy shit. Maybe my age was starting to catch up to me even though I'm only 27.

This was something totally new to me.

Sable's head shot up from her place at Itachi's feet and her ears flattened when she noticed my pain. She slowly lifted herself off the mattress and crept over to me. She sat down beside me and nuzzled my face.

I panted slowly as the pain from moving subsided and the constant throbbing and pin and needles replaced the stabbing, sharp pain from a single movement. I sighed thankfully at having time to compose myself and I patted Sable, assuring her that I knew she was there and that I loved her. However, sighing like that irritated my throat and I started coughing.

And once I started I couldn't stop.

Irritated and not wanting to wake Itachi, I forced myself to my feet and got myself a washrag before returning to bed. I held it to my face to muffle my coughing and to keep myself from coughing on everything. Sable sat beside me all the while, always within touching distance and she never hesitated to lick my hand or face to remind me that she was watching over me.

I hate being sick.

**Third Person!**

Itachi shifted in his sleep and opened his eyes, his gaze falling on Alice who was sitting up in bed, coughing. He had noticed she had caught a little bit of a bug but it didn't appear to be anything serious so he let it go after she assured him she was fine.

She hadn't been sleeping much either because of Tiburon being gone, so he attributed her health to her lack of rest. "Alice?"

She glanced at him, swallowing her coughs and lowering the fluffy, white towel from her mouth. "Tachi?"

He frowned at her scratchy voice. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I breathed weird and it made me start coughing. I'll be fine babe, go back to sleep. I probably just caught a cold or something."

He sat up and kissed her gently. "I love you."

"And I you." She assured him.

Itachi stroked her cheek before lying back down and falling asleep again. He didn't wake for the rest of the night so he missed the fact that Alice didn't sleep that night. He also missed Alice going to the bathroom with her red-spotted towel.

* * *

><p><em>...<em>_ No comment.  
><em>

_**Fun Fact: **Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue._

Answer: _Darth Vader. There is no competition. He has the Force, a fucking light Sabre, millions of warriors at his disposal, a fucking space station that can destroy planets, and a kick ass voice. Though I love Legolas, and he is the sexiest elf ever, he is in fact, just an elf. The most he has is pointy ears and a bow and arrows. That won't do shit against the Force. Darth Vader all the way.__  
><em>

**QotC:** _Have any of you heard any good songs recently? Maybe it's an old one that you love a shit ton, or it's a new one that you can't stop listening to. What's the song and who is it by? Limit is three songs._

_**WotC: **Novia/Novio - Girlfriend or Boyfriend.  
><em>

_I'm fucking starving. I'll see you lovelies later.  
><em>

_I graduate Thursday and tonight, we're setting up Senior Pranks XD. I'm pumped. I have my own list that the principal approved.  
><em>


	31. Chapter 31

_Soo..._

_The story continues...  
><em>

_EnjoyXD  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Kathryn giggled as she hopped up the hill near the base. From the sounds growing louder as she went up the hill, she knew she was on the right path.

Sure enough, when she reached the top, Sanaa, Tiburon, and Cielo came into view. Looking around for the last person she knew was out there, she smiled when she located Sasuke, lying on his back on the side of the hill. His eyes were closed, but she knew he was fully aware of everything going on around him.

Tiptoeing down the hill so she didn't slip, Kathryn eased her way to Sasuke and sat beside him silently, her eyes falling on her daughter and the boys as they sparred together. Obviously it was Tiburon versus Cielo, with Sanaa jumping in to help one or the other depending on her fancy.

"What brings you out here?" Sasuke asked.

Kathryn looked around at him and smiled when she saw he had opened up one eye to meet her gaze. She shrugged. "Just checking on Sanaa and seeing what you guys were doing." She cocked her head to the side. "You okay? You look like you're doing some deep thinking."

Sasuke shrugged. "Hn."

"What are you thinking about?" Kathryn wondered.

Sasuke opened both of his eyes and looked at the sky. "The past."

Kathryn's expression softened. "Bad?"

"Not all of it." He admitted with a small smile. His eyes flicked to the kids and they rested on Tiburon. "He looks so much like Itachi when we were kids it's kind of scary. If he had the tear troughs, it would be impossible to tell them apart unless he had his Sharingan deactivated." He glanced at Kathryn. "It just makes me remember things from back then."

Kathryn smiled and stroked Sasuke's hair, much to Sasuke's surprise. He even twitched a little at the unexpected contact, but he didn't fight it. "You know, Tiburon looks a lot like you too, Sasuke. You and Itachi look a lot alike. If Itachi didn't have those wrinkles, you two would be almost identical besides the hair and the skin tone."

Sasuke smirked. "You sound like Alice when you go into that much detail."

"Hey, she isn't the only one who thinks you Uchiha are sexy." Kathryn admitted. "I just think Deidara is better." She winked at him. "And I was the one who introduced her to the wonderful world of anime anyways. She just took it to the extreme and became obsessed."

"I can believe that." Sasuke chuckled. His gaze flicked back to the kids when a massive fireball caught his eye.

Kathryn ogled. "I didn't know Tiburon could do those…"

Sasuke glanced at her. "Hn. Itachi taught him numerous fire jutsu that our clan mastered. I've just been teaching him how to strengthen them and make better use of his chakra."

Kathryn cocked her head to the side. "Huh… I don't think I've ever seen the kids fight with jutsu… only hand-to-hand combat."

"Sanaa's actually really good with earth jutsu." Sasuke told her. "And Cielo is very, very efficient with water jutsu."

"How is Tiburon with his Sharingan?" Kathryn wondered.

"He improves daily." Sasuke told her. "He has definitely inherited his parents' talents and intelligence." He smirked. "Not to mention, he's an Uchiha. It's in his blood."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "And there is the Uchiha superiority complex I've been waiting for." She giggled when Sasuke huffed and patted his head. "Kidding Sasuke-kun."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't call me that. I get enough of that back in Konoha."

Kathryn snickered. "Oh I bet. With all of those fangirls drooling after you, I'm sure you never have a moment of peace." She elbowed him. "Any cute ones that you want to get together with?"

Sasuke gave her a look.

"I'll take that as a no." She laughed. "You know, a lot of people out there are rooting for you and Sakura."

He made a face.

"Yeah, she's not your type. Though, she would help boost your ego. She would tell you how amazing you were at all hours of the day." Kathryn elaborated. "Her or Ino."

Sasuke gagged and Kathryn snorted at his expression.

"What about… Temari?" Kathryn wondered.

Sasuke tilted his head slightly. "She isn't bad, but I have no desire for her." He glanced at Kathryn. "Not to mention, Gaara is kind of protective of her."

"Tenten?" Kathryn tossed up.

"Less appealing, but better than the first two." Sasuke mused. "She at least can fight. Sakura is pretty much only useful for breaking things and putting them back together. And Ino is less effective."

Kathryn nodded. "Hinata?"

Sasuke hummed. "She's definitely become a fighter since we were kids, but other than a few times, I've never really interacted with her. Basically, she is a very distance acquaintance."

"So no Hyūga." Kathryn sighed. "There's Karin, but if you marry her ever, I'll kill you."

Sasuke snorted with amusement. "No thanks. I think I would rather be alone." He blinked and looked at Kathryn. "Why am I discussing girls with you?"

Kathryn grinned. "Because you want a girlfriend and I'm your best friend that actually is into this relationship stuff."

He rolled his eyes. "Only you. I swear you are the only one who can ever get me to talk about such out of character things."

"Alice does sometimes." Kathryn pointed out.

"Yes, well Alice doesn't bring up girly things." Sasuke shrugged. "You do. She is perverted, sarcastic, or serious."

Kathryn shrugged. "Well that's Alice." She poked his nose. "I'm me. There is a distinct difference between us and not just height."

Sasuke chuckled. "You two are polar opposites."

"We're actually more alike than most people realize." Kathryn told him, rumpling his hair. "Oh! I didn't know Tibby could use water jutsu."

Sasuke looked around to see Tiburon using a shark bomb and launching it at Cielo.

"He must have copied it from Kisame. He's been watching Itachi and Kisame train together recently and he must have been copying their jutsu." Sasuke elaborated. "Alright you three, that will do for tonight. Alice will skin me if you three keel over from training."

Tiburon pouted. "Do we have to? Me and Cielo were having fun!"

"Yes." Sasuke nodded.

Cielo smiled at Tiburon, breathing heavily. "It's alright, Tiburon. We can continue this tomorrow. For now, let's go and rest."

Tiburon nodded and he and Cielo exchanged a fist bump before they began walking towards their sensei. Sanaa popped up between them and grabbed both of their hands with hers and began swinging their entwined hands.

Tiburon gave her a smile that was reserved only for her and he bumped heads with her lightly. She giggled and did the same before quickening her pace and dragging her two best friends up the hill so she could get home faster.

"Hi Mommy!" Sanaa greeted, releasing Cielo and Tiburon before hurrying to her mother. She wrapped her arms around Kathryn neck and kissed her cheek. "What are you doing out here?"

"I just came to check on you guys." Kathryn stated. "Alice asked me to for her."

Tiburon raised his eyebrow, looking very much like his father. "Why?"

"She doesn't feel good." Kathryn admitted. "Her back is acting up and she's caught something so she's really weak and tired." She smiled a bit though concern was obvious under her mask. "And irritable."

Tiburon frowned and his eyes narrowed as he looked towards the base. He stood motionlessly for a second before taking off in its direction, leaving everyone else behind.

Kathryn smiled after Tiburon while everyone else stared after him in confusion. "Cute."

Sasuke looked at her. "What is?"

Kathryn smirked at Sasuke. "Tibby is a hardcore mommy's boy."

* * *

><p>Itachi sighed as he gently stroked Alice's hair. She was lying on her stomach, her head in his lap, face turned away so she could breathe. Her body was shaking with pain and it would twitch because of the dysfunctional nerves and muscles.<p>

Not only was her back acting up, but she had caught something and whenever she would cough, she would spend the next five minutes swallowing back whimpers of pain and tears because it jarred her back.

It had started last night and he noticed it when he woke up and Alice was sitting up in bed, coughing quietly into a towel. When he asked her, she assured him she was fine and she probably just caught a cold. So he let the issue slide.

However, he woke up the next morning to see her in the same position, he knew something was off. She hadn't slept, but when she told him she was alright, he assumed she had been restless because Tiburon was gone. But that's when he realized what was off about her.

She had changed her towel.

He found the other one in the sink covered with blood stains when he went to the bathroom and he immediately went to fetch Sasori.

Sasori had given Alice her serum, only to find out an hour later that it did nothing. Apparently, Alice's body had built up immunity to it and now it did nothing more than prevent inflammation of her muscles. The pain, however, was still there.

That realization sent Sasori into his workshop and Zetsu into his gardens to try and find something that might help Alice. However, they had to act quickly because of the level of Alice's pain.

"Tachi." She sighed.

"Hmm?" He asked, using a gentle finger to pull a lock of hair from her face. She was pale, much paler than usual, and she looked exhausted.

She opened her eyes and stared ahead. "You don't have to stay in here."

"I want to." He told her. "I am not leaving you alone." His eyes flicked to Sable who was lying on the bed beside Alice. "And neither is Sable."

She smiled slightly when Sable licked her cheek. "I love you. Both of you."

"I love you too, Alice. With all of my heart." He stroked her cheek.

Alice sighed but something aggravated her throat and she began coughing. Itachi winced when she covered her mouth with her hand and specs of blood slipped through her fingers. After a moment she was done, but she buried her face in his lap and clenched the sheets tightly, trying to smother her pain.

Sable whimpered at her mommy's pain and nuzzled Alice's face, licking her face clean of blood and then her hand.

Itachi just closed his eyes and stroked her hair, whispering gentle words to her. He stopped whispering, however, when the door to their room opened and Tiburon walked in. He had a frown on his face and as soon as he walked in, his eyes landed on his mother and they refused to leave her.

"Mom?" He whispered.

Alice's eyes opened. "Tibby?"

He visibly twitched at the raspy, pained voice that wasn't her own. He took a step forward but hesitated briefly. He then caught sight of her face and his hesitation was shoved aside. He hurried around the bed and got closer to her.

"Are you okay, mom?" He asked.

She looked into his eyes and smiled at him. "Yeah baby, I'm alright. I'm just a little sick."

He frowned. "You're lying."

Alice scoffed, only to wince. Itachi and Tiburon both twitched at the face she made and the sharp intake of breath. After a moment, Alice relaxed and looked at Tiburon. "I'm fine, Tiburon. My back is acting up and I caught something. Having both at the same time is hurting me, but I'll be alright."

Tiburon pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you Mommy."

"I love you too, baby." Alice assured him.

Itachi brushed Tiburon's bangs out of his face. "Tiburon, will you stay here with your mother? There is something I must do. Sable will be here. If you need me, just send her and flare your chakra."

Tiburon nodded firmly. Itachi eased off the bed and Tiburon took his place, lying on his side next to his mother and petting her. Sable licked Tiburon's cheek but otherwise didn't stir, knowing she had to be calm.

Alice smiled. "You're totally my baby."

He grinned at her. "And proud of it."

"Good." She stated, kissing his nose because it was in reach. "I'm proud too."

He kissed her head and closed his eyes only to wince when his mom began coughing. He kissed her head again and began talking to her quietly. "So I went training with Cielo, Sasuke, and Sanaa today and Sasuke let us use jutsu. I've been watching Dad and Kisa spar so I picked up some jutsu from them."

He doubted his mother was really listening to what he said since she was busy burying her face into the pillow and trying to even out her breathing. But he kept going, knowing she needed something to distract her from her pain.

"I tried using a shark bomb, just to experiment to see if I could, and it worked. It took a lot of chakra though and it made me tired, but it was so cool. It wasn't as cool as Kisa's but Cielo's face when he saw it made me laugh. Sanaa looked like she was going to pee her pants." He buried his face into his mother's hair when a whimper escaped her. There was a sudden pang in his chest and a lump in his throat formed.

"Ash and Sable were playing outside earlier before we went training. It was cute. Sable was being really gentle like she was playing with a puppy and Ash's tail was wagging so fast. It's so bushy though so it looked kind of weird, but it was funny. Cielo and I had fun watching them." Tiburon continued. He went on for a few minutes longer before he was forced to withdraw his face from Alice's hair when the pain in his chest became too much.

Alice smiled slightly and exhaled slowly after a long minute of silence. "Thank you." She kissed his head since he was facing away from her. "Thank you, Tiburon."

He looked back at her and rolled closer. "Mom… what's wrong? Why isn't anyone making you better?"

"They're trying baby." Alice assured him. "Sasori's been at it all day. So has Zetsu."

Tiburon frowned. "Why can't we get Tsunade to do something?"

"I can't stand Tiburon, let alone travel all the way to Konoha." Alice stated. "And she can't come here. She has a village to run."

Tiburon looked up when the door open and his father walked in, carrying some pills. He handed one to Alice. "Take this. It might help."

Alice raised her eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Medication I used to take for my illness. It helps with the coughing." Itachi told her. "I asked Sasori about it and he said it would be a good idea to give it to you."

Alice took the pill without asking anymore questions and she lifted her head up long enough for Itachi to resume his role of being her pillow. Tiburon copied her, still utterly reluctant to leave her side.

"Dad… have they thought of anything to help Mom yet?" Tiburon asked.

"Sasori and Zetsu are working on it, Tiburon. But your mother has medical conditions that can't be solved simply by herbs. There are deeper issues." Itachi stated, scratching behind Sable's ear. "Some things can only take the pain away for a little bit, while others only stop the damage temporarily but not the pain."

Tiburon narrowed his eyes. "So bring Tsunade or Sakura here to fix her." He looked up at his father. "I don't like it when she's hurt."

"I don't either, Tiburon. But I cannot exactly request that the Hokage comes to heal your mother randomly." Itachi stated. "Sakura, perhaps. We will see what Sasori and Zetsu come up with first. Pein-sama will not be too fond of letting someone unfamiliar come into the base." Itachi's hand twitched. "Nor do I like the idea of someone I do not trust touching your mother."

Tiburon frowned as he stared at his mother for a moment before he got up. He kissed Alice's cheek, told her he loved her, and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He stormed through the base until he reached Pein's office and then he knocked.

"Enter." Pein stated.

Tiburon walked through the door and looked up at the Akatsuki Leader coolly.

"Tiburon?" Pein questioned. "What are you doing in here?"

Tiburon drew himself up tall and crossed his arms. "My mom needs help. She needs someone to fix her and no one here can do it." He looked at Pein, a hint of a plea in his eyes. "Please let me go to Konoha and get Sakura or Tsunade so they can fix my mom."

Pein stared at Tiburon for a moment before leaning forward. "Do your mother and father know you are doing this?"

He shook his head.

Pein sighed. "I thought not." He ran a hand through his hair. "Very well, Tiburon. You, Sanaa, Cielo, and Sasuke will go to Konoha, collect a healer from the Hokage, and bring them here. Fetch me Sasuke, and then go and prepare for your mission."

Tiburon grinned. "Okay." He darted towards the door before pausing and looking back at Pein. "Thank you Pein."

Pein's gaze softened. "Of course, Tiburon. You're not the only one pained by your mother's condition. Alice is essential to this organization and everyone in it."

Tiburon nodded. "I know."

* * *

><p>Sasuke cocked his head to the side as Pein briefed him and his team on their new mission. Tiburon looked utterly determined and Sanaa seriously concerned. Cielo looked indifferent as usual, but there was a hint of concern in his expression.<p>

Alice had basically adopted the boy.

She had grown on him.

After getting their orders, Sasuke led the kids through the base to Alice and Itachi's room. He wanted to make sure they knew where Tiburon was so Alice didn't freak out because that was not what she needed in her condition.

Sasuke opened the door and peeked inside, only to see Itachi press his finger to his lips to signal him to be silent. Sasuke nodded and hushed his team before slipping into the room.

Alice was laying on her stomach still, her head in Itachi's lap. She was sleeping as Itachi gently pet her. Sable was lying on the bed beside her, her head resting on Alice's calf. Ash was there as well, curled up between Alice's feet.

"She just now fell asleep." Itachi whispered, holding Sable's tail to make sure it's wagging didn't wake Alice. He looked at his brother and over the team. "Mission?"

"We're going to Konoha to get a healer for Alice." Sasuke said quietly. "Tiburon petitioned Pein for it."

Itachi smiled gently. "I will let her know when she wakes. For now though, let her sleep. She hasn't for some time." He extended his hand towards his son. "Tiburon."

Tiburon walked quietly around the bed and allowed his father to hug him and kiss his forehead. They shared a quiet goodbye before Tiburon gently kissed his mother's cheek.

Alice smiled slightly but didn't wake.

Satisfied, Tiburon left his parents pausing briefly to say goodbye to Sable and Ash with Cielo, his eyes lingering on his mother, and he followed his uncle and team to the exit. Soon after they reached it, they took off, heading straight for Konoha.

* * *

><p><em>Alice is sick...<em>_ No, she doesn't have Itachi's sickness nor does she have Tuberculosis.  
><em>

_**Fun Fact: **I graduated 3rd in my class of 144. :)  
><em>

Answer: _I constantly listen to music... However, I'm been rather obsessed with Two Steps From Hell. Their songs are so thought provoking and inspirational. They're the best to listen to when writing. They make music for movie and game trailers. Mass Effect 3 used one of their songs, as did Twilight and a few others. I think my favorite song of theirs is Norwegian Pirate. I've also been rather obsessed with a band called Rapwimps, particularly a song of theirs called yuushinron. I first heard it in a Sasori/Deidara video quite some time ago but I listened to it again and I remembered why I liked it._

**QotC: **_Favorite place to be at anytime?  
><em>

_**WotC:** Espantapájaros - Scarecrow. :)  
><em>

_So yeah... senior pranks: We flipped classrooms around completely. We filled all of our teachers' offices with balloons, took all of the parking spaces, saran-wrapped cars, bubble-wrapped a few teacher's classrooms to where you saw nothing but the bubble-wrap. We put timers and alarm clocks in the ceilings and set them to go off at different times. We made the cafeteria into a maze and the hallways into roads. We put all of the history books in the elevator, all of the Math and English books in the stairwells, we filled the chemistry/physics teacher's room full of dinosaurs because he's obsessed with them. And we brought in a snake to scare the shit out of the psychology teacher because he's terrified of them. We unplugged the older teachers' keyboards and internet connects because they don't know anything about technology, and we strung huge panties and bras down the hallways. And we put Icy-Hot on the toilet seats.  
><em>

_Yeah... :D I love the people in my class sometimes.  
><em>

_No, I am not bringing Brett and Louis back into this story. I love them too, but they're done guys.  
>No, I don't plan on making another one of these stories.<br>Yes, I will continue to write fanfiction.  
>No, I do not magically know when your birthdays are so I cannot magically know to update on your birthdays.<br>No, I will not update on your birthdays unless I feel like it or for some other reason that makes me.  
>Yes, I do have a story planned right now and I'm currently working on it. Now that I've graduated, I have more time to do things.<br>No, the Akatsuki will not be the main characters.  
>No, there will be no OCs.<br>Yes, Itachi will be one of the main characters. There will be four _main_ characters._

_And I'm done.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	32. Chapter 32

_We have now caught up with _Consider Yourselves Kitties_._

_Woo.  
><em>

_Enjoy that of which I only own the OCs.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Hurry Sasuke." Tiburon urged.<p>

Sasuke sighed as he walked boredly into the village. "Tiburon, no matter how much you rush, it's still going to take a little while. We can't just snag a healer and then leave."

Tiburon frowned. "Says who?"

"Says the Hokage." Sasuke told him, flicking his forehead. "Alice will survive for a few more days."

Tiburon glared at him. "My mom's in _pain_, Sasuke. I need to help her. _Hurry up_. Or I'll leave you behind."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Brat."

Sanaa grabbed Tiburon's hand and squeezed it. "It's okay, Tibby. Icy has Tachi with her and Kisa. Sori-Danna is helping her and so it Zetsu. Icy will be okay."

Tiburon looked at Sanaa and sighed. "I know, Sanaa. But I wanna help her get better too. It's been two days since we left since Pein made us take that side trip for him."

Cielo patted Tiburon. "Well then, let's go get that healer." He looked back at Sasuke who was signing them into the village with Kotetsu and Izumo. "Come on, Sasuke-sensei."

Sasuke nodded and walked after them, his pace evening out at a quicker tempo then before. And before they knew it, they were in front of the Hokage tower, waiting to be allowed in.

"Move Shika!" Tiburon growled. "I need to talk to Tsunade!"

Shikamaru blinked as Tiburon rushed by him. He looked at Sasuke, his eyebrow raised.

"He's a mommy's boy." Sasuke told him. He followed his team up the stairs and to the Hokage's office before he knocked on it.

"Enter." Tsunade called.

Sasuke opened the door and grabbed Tiburon's shirt to keep him from jumping on Tsunade's desk. He held his nephew under his arms, a sighed escaping him as soon as the door closed behind him.

"I'm sure Pein sent you a message?" Sasuke asked.

Tsunade nodded. "Indeed he did, but give me some details. What exactly ails Alice?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

"Tibby might." Sanaa chimed.

Cielo nodded. "Tiburon was with her before we left."

Sasuke set Tiburon down. "Are you going to behave if I let you go?"

Tiburon glared at him so Sasuke took that as a yes and released his nephew. Tiburon looked at Tsunade. "We need a healer."

"What does your mother need healed, Tiburon?" Tsunade asked.

Tiburon bit his lip. "Her back. She's sick too and it's making her cough a lot and her throat and voice sound raw and really sore. When she coughs, she can't stop and it hurts her even more." He clenched his fists and looked down. "She's in lots of pain."

Sasuke doubted he was the only one who heard Tiburon's voice shift as he spoke. He rested a gentle hand on his nephew's head and stroked his hair softly. Sanaa took his hand and squeezed it before pressing closer to him.

Tsunade's gaze softened. "Pein told me you demanded this mission."

Tiburon nodded without meeting her gaze.

"You're a good boy, Tiburon." Tsunade told him. "Your mother is very lucky to have you." She looked at Sasuke. "I'll send Sakura to check her out and heal her if she can. If not, I'll see if Alice can be transported to our hospital so I can take a look at her."

Sasuke nodded. "That would work."

"Go and get Sakura then. She's around here somewhere. Last I heard, she was spending the day with Naruto and a few of the others." Tsunade stated. "She can take three others as her escort. I'll leave you to help her decide because I'm sure Pein doesn't want random people in his base."

"So be it." Sasuke stated with a dip of his head. "Come on you three. We need to find Sakura."

Sasuke led his team from the Hokage tower. Sanaa was bouncing with excitement because she wanted to see everyone. Cielo seemed indifferent and Tiburon remained silent. Sasuke smirked at their behavior, his old team coming to mind.

Cielo was definitely a mix between Kakashi and himself.

Sanaa was Naruto in female form, and not just because of their similar hair and eye color.

Tiburon was much like him, just with a hint of Kakashi and Naruto's mischievousness that Sasuke never had.

Or at least, that he never showed.

"I sense Naruto's chakra." Tiburon said, breaking the silence between the three males and disrupting Sanaa's humming.

"Where?" Sanaa asked, whipping around.

Tiburon grabbed her hand and pulled her along, leading his mentor/uncle and his friends/teammates behind him. He led them down a street and through an alleyway until they reached the park.

Naruto and Kiba were wrestling while Lee and Neji sparred. Off to the side, Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata were watching with Shikamaru and Choji. Shino was sitting beside a tree with Akamaru and Sai was sitting near him, drawing something.

"Naru!" Sanaa yelled, releasing Tiburon to run forward and greet her favorite Konoha Shinobi outside of Sasuke.

Naruto's head shot up and he grinned. "Hey kiddo!" He shoved Kiba off of him and scooped Sanaa up when she reached him, hugging her. "How are you?"

"Good!" She beamed. She hugged his neck. "I missed you! How are you?"

"I'm great." He chuckled. "I missed you too." He set her down as Sasuke, Cielo, and Tiburon approached him. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Mission, Dobe." Sasuke told him. He glanced at Tiburon who was petting Akamaru. "Alice is extremely sick and Pein sent us here for a healer. Tsunade nominated Sakura."

Sakura, hearing her name, looked up and waved. "Hey Sasuke-kun! I thought you went to the Akatsuki base."

Sasuke sighed. "Come here, Sakura."

She raised her eyebrow but obeyed and he quickly updated her on their reason for being there. Her eyes widened. "What's wrong with her?"

"Her back. And she's caught something where she's coughing up blood. Tiburon doesn't know this, but Itachi is freaking out about it." Sasuke told her. "So pack your things. We're taking you to the Akatsuki base. You get to take three others as an escort. I suggest Naruto and Kakashi as two of them."

Sakura nodded. "Who else?"

"I'd say Sai, but he has a mission soon." Naruto mused. "We'll ask the others."

"Take someone calm." Sasuke advised. "My brother is incredibly apprehensive about someone he doesn't trust touching Alice. He's already on edge because of her condition. If you bring someone like Kiba or Lee, he'll probably kill them."

"Screw you, Sasuke." Kiba growled.

"No offense intended, Kiba." Sasuke stated. "But my brother cannot handle your wild personality at the moment." He smirked. "Plus, I don't think Kisame likes you all that much. And he will probably be breathing down Sakura's neck."

Naruto patted Kiba's shoulder as said Jōnin grumbled under his breath. He looked around. "What about Neji?"

"He or Shikamaru would be best." Sasuke nodded. He glanced over his shoulder. "Neji, come here for a minute."

Neji, who had stopped sparring with Lee when Sasuke and his team approached, looked away from Lee scaring Cielo and walked over to Sasuke. "What?"

"I'm taking Sakura to the Akatsuki base, and she needs a third person for her escort. Naruto and Kakashi are already going. Do you want to go too?" Sasuke wondered.

Neji shrugged. "If it is alright with Sakura and the Hokage."

"Tsunade gave Sakura and I the options of choosing the team. She'll be fine with it." Sasuke stated. "We just need to find Kakashi to tell him."

"What does this mission entail, exactly?" Neji asked.

Sanaa looked around at him. "You guys get to keep Sakura safe while at home and then you get to bring her back here once she's done fixing Icy."

Neji smirked down at Sanaa and dipped his head. "So be it. I will go. But, if I may ask, what is wrong with Alice?"

"She's sick." Naruto told him. "Really sick."

Neji glanced at Sasuke. "When are we leaving?"

"You guys take some time to gather your things. Prep for a week at least. There is no telling how long you will be there. Alice is in bad shape and Sasori might need to enlist Sakura's help for a little bit." Sasuke explained. "While you guys are preparing, I will go find Kakashi."

Naruto grinned at him. "Sounds good." He bent over and winked at Sanaa. "I'll see you in a bit, Sanaa. We're gonna be mission partners!"

She beamed. "I can't wait! Hurry!"

He patted her head. "Come on, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura smiled a bit and took a step after him before pausing. "How is Tiburon with all of this?"

Sasuke glanced at his nephew who was talking to Shino and Sai. "He's extremely uncomfortable. He has always been possessive and protective of Alice and her being sick scares him."

Sakura nodded. "Then I'll do my best to help."

"That is all I ask." Sasuke stated. "Thank you, Sakura."

She smiled at him. "See you in a bit."

Sasuke dipped his head and watched her run away. "Hn." He looked over the other for a second before addressing his team. "Come on you three. We need to find Kakashi."

Cielo looked away from Lee. "He is probably near that big rock."

"Or reading those books no one lets me read." Sanaa added.

Sasuke shrugged. "We'll check his apartment first, and then we'll go to the M.I.A memorial. If he's not there, we'll just have to find him." He began walking in the direction of his ex-sensei's apartment. "Tiburon, come on."

Tiburon looked around from Sai's drawing and nodded. "Okay Sasuke." He smiled weakly at Sai and Shino. "Bye guys. I'll see you later."

"Goodbye, Tiburon." Shino said with a dip of his head. Sai simply smiled and waved.

Tiburon jogged after his team, ready to hunt for the notoriously late Copy-ninja.

* * *

><p>"Kakashi!" Tiburon called, breaking away from his team to run towards one of his favorite people.<p>

Kakashi looked around, lifting a hand when he saw who was there. "Yo." He patted Tiburon's head when Tiburon reached him and smirked at his former student. "I feel like I'm looking at you when you were his age, Sasuke." He chuckled. "You two look identical."

Sasuke shrugged. "Hn."

"Though, if I would have patted your head, you probably would have ripped my hand off." Kakashi mused. He shrugged. "Difference in character I guess."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "We have a mission for you, Kakashi."

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow. "Oh?"

"You're coming with us, Naruto, Neji, and Sakura to the Akatsuki base. Alice is ill and she needs medical attention the Akatsuki cannot provide. You, along with Naruto, and Neji are escorting Sakura there, protecting her while she is there, and bringing her back here." Sasuke explained. "Orders from the Hokage and Pein."

"Alice is sick huh?" Kakashi asked. He was quiet for a minute before shrugging. "Alright, I'll go. How long is the mission?"

"Prepare for a week at least. She is pretty sick and Sasori and Zetsu might enlist Sakura's help to create something for Alice to at least dull the pain." Sasuke stated. "Alice might even need to be brought here for help."

Kakashi noticed a twitch from Tiburon and he habitually placed a gentle, soothing hand on Tiburon's head. "Hopefully it doesn't come to that. Sakura is good at what she does."

Sasuke nodded silently. "Meet us at the village entrance within the hour. And please try to be on time. Tiburon is anxious enough as it is. He will attack you if you make him wait."

Tiburon looked at Kakashi as it confirming Sasuke's warning. Kakashi chuckled and nodded. "I'll be sure to hurry then." He waved his hand in farewell before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Sasuke sighed. "We'll take our time heading over there. We need to let Tsunade know who we're taking and I'm sure Kakashi will take his sweet ass time heading to the gate."

Cielo glanced at Sasuke. "You leaf ninja are very strange."

Sasuke yanked Cielo's hood over his head, causing Sanaa and Tiburon to laugh. "Be quiet, brat."

* * *

><p>Kakashi hummed to himself boredly as he made his way towards the gate. He was well within the hour, though he could have been at the gate much sooner. He liked to make his students sweat a little.<p>

Sadistic torment was in his nature.

Kakashi chuckled at the thought and turned down a street that led directly to the gate. He cocked his to the side as he took in the people before the gate and their actions.

Sasuke was wrestling with Tiburon and Sanaa while Cielo stood off to the side with Neji and Naruto. Sakura was watching the trio, utterly amused while Naruto cheered Sanaa and Tiburon on.

Sasuke had Tiburon tucked under his arm while he pinned Sanaa to the ground by tickling her. She was giggling loudly and Tiburon was struggling in his uncle's grasp, laughing despite his determination to get free.

"What a scene to arrive to…" Kakashi mused, stopping beside his blond, knucklehead of an ex-student. "I never thought I would see the day when Sasuke would play."

"They started it." Sasuke countered, stopping his assault. He stood up, grabbing Sanaa by the back of her shirt and lifting her to her feet. He set Tiburon down when he straightened up and looked to Kakashi. "You ready?"

"I am ready when you are, Sasuke." Kakashi smirked. "Otherwise I would not be here."

Sasuke nodded. "Good. Then let's go. I've already checked us out with Kotetsu and Izumo."

Naruto thrust his fist in the air. "Yosh! Let's go!" He paused and looked to Sasuke. "The Akatsuki aren't going to eat us are they?"

"Zetsu might." Tiburon told him.

Naruto paled.

"No he won't." Sanaa sighed. "He likes chewy people." She giggled when everyone grimaced. "Zetsu's nice though. He won't eat you."

Tiburon snickered. "Hopefully."

Sasuke glanced at Naruto. "They know you are coming, but the base will be on edge. When Alice is hurt, the Akatsuki become extremely… possessive. Especially my brother, Kisame, and Hidan. Sasori is very protective as well."

"Well, let's go. The sooner we get Alice healed, the better." Kakashi finalized.

"I agree." Neji said calmly. "Come."

With a hn from Sasuke, and a nod from Sakura, the Shinobi took off. They ran together, heading straight for the Uchiha stronghold, a mission driving them.

Meanwhile…

Pein looked over his subordinates in the meeting room. He had even managed to rip a reluctant Itachi away from Alice long enough to address them. Kathryn had taken his place at her side so she could watch over her.

He needed to update them on the approaching guests.

And Itachi was no exception.

"Four Shinobi from Konoha are coming here. One of them is a medic, the Hokage's apprentice Sakura Haruno." He explained. "The others are Neji Hyūga, Naruto Uzumaki, and Kakashi Hatake. Haruno is coming to heal Alice to the best of her ability, or assess what is wrong with her and either see if she needs more advanced medical treatment. If that is the case, Alice will be taken to Konoha."

Itachi twitched while a few others frowned.

"All of you will behave and not start any fights with them. Watch them carefully because they are strangers here, but they are allies. Be kind to them and hospitable, but not foolish." Pein stated. "And protect the base and each other. The four Shinobi are powerful in their own rights so they are not to be taken lightly."

"Yes Leader-sama." Everyone chimed.

"Good. You're dismissed." Pein stated. "They will be here sometime tomorrow afternoon."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_Bowie _hates _baths._

Answer: _Probably my room, or at the park near my house. It's really woodsy and peaceful._

**QotC: **_Which fight would be more interesting? All the Akatsuki versus the Kage or the Konoha 11 versus all of the Akatsuki? (Note that these fights happen at the same time and not at different times like the do in the manga/anime.)__  
><em>

_**WotC:** to heal - curar_

_Tired~ I have not slept in like 48 hours lol.  
><em>

_See you guys later.  
><em>

_:)  
><em>


	33. Chapter 33

_Happy Birthday Itachi, you incredibly sexy man you._

_You all are amazing.  
><em>

_Enjoy the chapter.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Hidan raised his eyebrow as he sat just outside the entrance to the base with Kakuzu. He elbowed the miser at his side. "Hey fucker, is that them?"<p>

Kakuzu looked up from his old, tattered book and followed Hidan's gaze. "Yes. I don't know anyone else with pink hair."

"Strange leaf fucker." Hidan scoffed, getting to his feet. Kakuzu copied him and they stood by the entrance, waiting for their guests to arrive. "Sup brats?" He called when the kids were close enough.

"Hi Hidan-oji!" Sanaa waved, running forward to hug him. He allowed her to hug him, even going as far as to pet her hair.

"These fuckers give you guys trouble?" Hidan asked, looking over Sasuke, Cielo, Sanaa, and Tiburon.

Sasuke shook his head as an answer and raised his eyebrow. "Are you our welcoming party?"

"Fuck welcoming you, Uchiha." Hidan snapped. "You walk in the damn base like you fucking own it. Leader sent us out here to make sure you assholes report to him first before you go barging into Ice Bitch's room. Itachi's on the fucking warpath right now. And Ice is getting worse."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes at his partner as he allowed Sanaa to hug him. "Idiot." He looked at Sasuke. "He is rather tense. It would be wise for all of you to exercise caution around Alice right now. Kisame isn't exactly laid back either."

Hidan looked at Sakura. "You better watch yourself, bitch. Do something to Alice, and the Uchiha and Fishface won't be the only ones you'll have to fucking worry about."

"Well, let's go see Pein." Sasuke stated. "We'll deal with Itachi and Kisame later."

Tiburon looked at Sasuke. "Can I go see my mom?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. Go ahead Tiburon. Sanaa, Cielo, you two are dismissed too."

Tiburon nodded before taking off towards his parents' bedroom, only to see that neither of them were there. He tensed before searching for his father's chakra and Kisame's. Breathing a sigh of relief when he found them, he ran towards the medical center.

When he got there, he found them. Kisame was sitting on a cushioned armchair beside the bed, his legs propped on the larger than expected mattress. Ash was in his lap, curled up in a ball.

Itachi was sitting on the bed, his eyes closed and his hand resting on Alice's head. Sable was lying between his legs, her head resting on his lap.

Tiburon looked over these details quickly and without interest until his eyes landed on his mother. Alice was lying on her stomach, her face angled towards Itachi. One of her arms was covered in white straps that secured a number of tubes to her arm.

Sable's head lifted at Tiburon's arrival and her tail wagged happily in greeting. Itachi's eyes opened and he lifted his head off the wall to look around. His gaze softened at the sight of his son and he smiled. "Tiburon."

Tiburon ran forward and around the bed. He allowed his father to pick him up off the floor and hug him tightly. Tiburon wrapped his arms around Itachi's neck while Itachi buried his face into his son's.

"Is she okay, Daddy?" Tiburon whispered.

"She is coping." Itachi breathed, stroking Tiburon's hair. "She's sleeping. The drugs Sasori and Zetsu are giving her make her very tired, which is what she needs. When she is awake, her pain is almost unbearable."

Tiburon pulled away from his dad and looked down at his mom. He bit his lip before kissing her cheek and sliding off the bed. He walked around to the other side before climbing onto the mattress and sitting beside his mother on the bed.

Kisame rumpled Tiburon's hair. "Hey Tibby."

"Hi Kisa." Tiburon smiled.

"Are those Konoha ninjas here?" Kisame wondered.

Tiburon nodded. "Yeah. They had to go see Pein before they could come here, though."

"Hn." Itachi grunted, petting Sable. His gaze flicked to the door. "Sasori."

Sasori walked in the room, Sanaa clinging to his side. "Is she still sleeping?"

Itachi nodded. "Yes."

"I hate to wake her up, but I have to take her off these drugs so Pinky can look at her." Sasori sighed. He looked at Itachi. "Unless you're going to have a cow of course…"

Itachi closed his eyes, his fingers twitching on Alice's head. "Do what you need to do to make her better."

Sasori dipped his head. "I will do my best." He grabbed Alice's arm and carefully extracted the needles and tubes from her.

Sanaa slipped around her Danna and hugged Itachi from the side of the bed. "You okay, Tachi?"

Itachi stroked Sanaa's hair and returned the gesture. "I am fine, Sanaa. Thank you."

She smiled at him before trotting around the bed and hugging Kisame. Kisame returned her greeting sweetly, much to Sanaa's happiness.

"Here they come." Sasori stated, wrapping up the tubes before walking back to Alice. He placed a hand on her forehead and channeled a tiny bit of chakra into her to rouse her. Alice shifted in her sleep and twitched, only hiss as pain shot through her body.

Itachi knuckles cracked but he suppressed his emotions.

Alice blinked and looked at Sasori. "What d'you want?"

"A medic from Konoha is going to be checking you over Alice so we can help you." Sasori stated. "I'm sorry for waking you, but you need to be conscious to answer her questions."

Alice's eyes closed. "Fine."

"Tiburon is home." Sasori told her.

Her eyes opened. "Where?"

Tiburon kissed her head and leaned closer. "Hi Mommy."

She smiled weakly. "There's my baby."

Tiburon pressed his face into her hair. "I love you."

"I love you too." She assured him.

Itachi watched his son clutch onto what of his mother he could without causing her pain before his attention flicked to the door. Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi, and Neji stood in the doorway, looking unsure.

"Come in." Sasori told him. "He's not going to bite you."

"I might though." Kisame mused from his seat.

Tiburon giggled and Alice smiled.

Sasuke met his brother's gaze and he sighed, knowing his brother didn't sleep at all since Alice got sick. "Aniki."

Itachi stared at his brother. "Otouto."

Sakura walked closer, going into medic mode. "Alice?"

"Sup?" Alice grunted, opening her good eye to look at the pink haired girl.

"How are you feeling?" Sakura wondered.

"Do you want an honest answer, or should I sugar coat it?" Alice asked in a raspy voice.

"Honest please." Sakura stated.

Alice sighed, her breathing shallow. "Like I'm dying."

Itachi twitched and Tiburon tightened his grip on Alice's shirt. Kisame stiffened.

Sakura glanced at Itachi and risked stepping closer to the bed. "Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere." She admitted.

"Is it constant pain? Or does it hurt to touch?" Sakura wondered.

Alice closed her eyes. "Both."

"When did the coughing and sickness start?" The pink haired medic wondered.

Alice frowned. "The day we arrived in Kiri."

"Are you allergic to anything?" Sakura wondered.

"Just cats." Alice admitted. "And poison ivy." She looked at Sakura. "Why?"

"I'm trying to figure out what might have caused you to be sick." Sakura admitted. "Did you eat anywhere strange?"

Alice shook her head. "No. We had already packed our meals for the trip. Though, we did stop to get a drink at a tea shop. I just got water though." She cleared her throat when her voice waivered, and as soon as she did that, she enticed a coughing fit.

Itachi tightened his grip on Alice, being sure to block Tiburon's view of Alice's mouth. Tiburon buried his face into Alice's hair, trying to soothe his mother with his presence and block out his concern.

Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, and Neji all exchanged worried glances as Alice slowly calmed. She buried her face into Itachi's leg and she clenched the sheets in an attempted to calm down. The men watched her, shocked my how someone so animated could become bedridden.

Sasori grabbed Alice's hand from her mouth and wiped off the blood in her grasp. He glanced at Sakura. "The amount she coughs up has slowly been increasing." He sighed. "Something is wrong with her and it is something I can't detect."

"Kisame-san, Itachi-san, did either of you feel sick?" Sakura asked.

Itachi shook his head. "No. Though, Kisame didn't get anything and I simply got some dango. Alice was the only one who got something to drink."

Alice opened her eyes. "Maybe there was something wrong with the water."

Sakura frowned and reached forward to touch Alice, only to freeze when Sable started snarling and Itachi's Sharingan whirled. The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees at the cold hostility that suddenly erupted.

"Sable, stop it." Alice soothed. "Sanaa, do me a favor and take Sable to the training grounds to play."

Sanaa nodded. "Come on Sable."

Sable reluctantly followed her, growling lowly at Sakura. Ash went with them, following the familiar scent of his owner.

"Sorry, I suppose I should have warned you." Sakura stated.

"Just do what you need to do." Alice told her. "I'll deal with the difficult people." She glanced at Itachi. "Tachi, calm down. She isn't going to kill me. Stop looking at her like you're going to rip her arms off."

Itachi pointedly looked away from Sakura, his eyes closed.

"I need you tell me if this hurts, Alice. I'm going to look over you first before I decide what to do. Maybe I'll find some more answers." Sakura said gently, touching the tips of her fingers to the middle of Alice's back softly. Alice twitched at the pain caused by the contact and then gasped at the pain caused by her movement.

Itachi and Kisame were both standing straight up, weapons in hand. Both poised and ready to strike. Kakashi, Neji, and Naruto fell into defensive positions around Sakura.

Sasori sighed. "I assumed this would be the case." He glanced at Itachi and Kisame, grabbing the kunai in Itachi's hand. "Both of you leave."

Itachi glared at Sasori.

"Don't give me that look, Itachi. Alice needs help and your protectiveness is getting in the way of that. Go. I will watch over her and Tiburon can stay as well. You, however, cannot." Sasori snapped. "Kisame, out."

Kisame made to argue but was cut off.

"Listen to Sasori." Alice scolded. "Go on. I'll be fine."

Itachi closed his eyes and sighed. "So be it. Kisame, come."

Kisame glared at Sakura and pointed Samehada at her threateningly. "Hurt her, and I'll rip you to pieces."

"If there is anything left to rip..." Itachi corrected his partner. He bent over Alice and kissed her cheek. "I will be nearby. I will come if you need me."

"I'll be alright." She assured him. "Go blow off some steam."

Itachi pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you."

"I love you too." She told him. "Go on. Sasori's got my back. So does Sasuke. And if you can't take just them, send in Hidan or Kakuzu."

"Hn." Itachi hummed. He left the room a moment later, his Sharingan boring into Sakura's eyes as he passed her.

Alice sighed when they left. "Excuse them. They're a little overprotective."

"It's alright." Sakura smiled. "I've dealt with worse. You see it all the time as a medic."

"Yeah, but it could potentially end up as the worst." Alice muttered. "All of the guys here are extremely protective."

Sasori sighed. "I wish you wouldn't have given Itachi the idea to send Hidan in here."

"He'll be good." Alice smiled. "I miss him anyways."

The door opened a second later and Hidan walked in. He leaned his scythe against the wall beside Alice's bed before he sat on the side of it without a word. "How you feeling, Ice Bitch?"

Alice grunted.

"That bad, huh?" Hidan asked. He pet her hair gently before looking at Sakura. "What the fuck are you looking at you pink slut? Heal her or get the fuck out."

Alice sighed. "Hidan, behave please."

Hidan scoffed but didn't press Sakura.

"Alice, this is probably going to hurt." Sakura said gently. "I'm going to send my chakra into your back to see if I can find the problem and heal it. I'm at least doing this to see what exactly is going on with you."

Alice closed her eyes. "Knock yourself out."

"Wait a minute." Hidan snapped, glaring at Sakura when her hands started glowing.

Sasori eyed Hidan suspiciously, only to relax when he saw Hidan grabbing Alice's hand And offering her a protruding piece of the blanket for her to bite just in case. His free hand then wrapped around Tiburon. He pulled Tiburon into his lap, but allowed the boy to still hold onto his mother.

"Go ahead." Sasori told Sakura when Hidan was done.

Hidan closed his eyes and frowned when Alice's hand squeezed his weakly. She was obviously holding him tightly to block out the pain, but she was so weak that it barely hurt. Hidan squeezed her hand gently back and ran his thumb over her knuckles softly.

Tiburon pressed his forehead to his mother's when her breathing picked up and he muttered quiet things to her he was certain no one else could hear. Alice did her best to focus on Hidan and Tiburon, but it was hard for her to ignore the mind numbing pain.

Sakura withdrew her chakra and noticed Alice's body continued to shake with pain even after she was finished. "I'm sorry Alice."

Alice shook her head, her eyes still closed. "Don't worry about it."

"What did you find, Sakura?" Kakashi asked, eyeing Alice with worry.

Sakura shook her head. "I've never seen something like that before. The damage is extensive. I'm surprised she's still conscious. I don't know how she coped with it before now."

Alice smiled slightly. "Lots and lots of drugs."

"What about her sickness?" Neji wondered.

Sakura glanced at him. "Alice was poisoned. There's no other explanation. I can sense traces of a poison in her lungs and it's clinging to her throat which is why she's coughing. It's a weaker poison, but it's one that will cause a lot of damage over time until it kills the victim." She looked at Sasori. "We should get rid of the poison as soon as possible to prevent any long-term damage. So far, it's in the early stages."

Sasori nodded. "When you're ready, I can collect the things you'll need."

"Wait a second, who the fuck would poison Ice?" Hidan demanded.

Sasori glanced at Hidan. "This is a world of Shinobi, Hidan. Alice is 'The Seer'. She's bound to have some enemies. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Whoever is responsible is a moron, however."

"Can you heal her back though?" Sasuke asked, staring at Sakura.

Sakura looked at him. "I can try. I would feel more comfortable working if she wasn't in pain every time I touched her." She looked at Sasori. "Is there something you can give her to dull the pain?"

"Anything I have to dull the pain will put her to sleep." Sasori told her. "If you are alright with that, I can give her what I have been to help her cope. However, Itachi will insist on being in here if she isn't conscious. As will Kisame."

"If it helps her sleep, than that's even better." Sakura told him. "If she's sleeping, her muscles will relax. And to be honest, I think having Itachi and Kisame in here will help her relax as well." Sakura smiled. "Hidan and Tiburon did more for her than she probably knows. When I touched her before, she was extremely tense. When Hidan came in here, it was completely different."

Alice smiled. "That's because Hidan's my favorite."

Hidan grinned down at Alice and stroked her hair. "That's right you crazy bitch."

"Other than my baby." Alice finished. "Tibby is always my number one."

Tiburon smiled. "You're my favorite too, Mom."

"Win." Alice laughed lightly. She winced and coughed and once she started, she couldn't stop. She pulled her hand from Hidan's grasp and covered her mouth with it, trying to hide the blood from Tiburon.

He saw, however.

"Mom?" Tiburon gasped as his mother continued coughing up blood. "Is… that blood?" He reached towards her but froze when she turned away from him more.

Hidan picked up Tiburon and got up from the bed, realizing that Alice didn't want Tiburon to see her in her condition. "Come here, Tibby. We're gonna go find that big ass mutt and wrestle with her. Let your mom rest. The puppet will watch her ass."

"No." Tiburon struggled. "Hidan-oji! Put me down!" He punched Hidan in the head. "Let go! I don't want to go, I wanna stay!"

Hidan swore and tucked Tiburon under his arm as Sasori stepped in Tiburon's line of sight of Alice. He pulled Alice's hand away from her mouth and pressed a wet rag into her hand before gently placing it in front of her mouth.

"Hidan-oji! I wanna stay with my mom!" Tiburon shouted as Hidan totted him out of the room. His Sharingan whirled and he made to use a Genjutsu when a hand covered his eyes.

"Calm yourself, Tiburon." Itachi soothed. He took his son from Hidan and returned the embrace when Tiburon hugged him. "It's alright."

"Mommy's coughing up blood, Daddy." Tiburon whimpered. "Why is she doing that? What's wrong with her? Why hasn't anyone made her better yet?"

Itachi rubbed Tiburon's back as he shook with worry in his arms. "I do not know, Tiburon. She is very sick and very weak. Sasori and the others are trying their best to help her, however."

Tiburon's knuckles cracked. "I want her to get better."

"I do as well, Tiburon." Itachi sighed. He looked at Hidan. "Thank you Hidan, I will take care of him."

Hidan nodded, watching the affair. "Ice will be fine, brat. Your mom's fucking tough. She'll be back up and bitching at everyone in no time."

Itachi dipped his head at Hidan a second before the Jashinist walked away. Itachi watched him disappear before glancing at the ex-Kiri nin at his side. "Kisame, take him elsewhere and watch over him. I must go and watch over Alice."

Kisame nodded. "Come here Tibby."

Tiburon shook his head. "No. I wanna stay with mommy." He shuddered. "Please?"

"Tiburon, I am sorry, but this will be no place for you soon. Your mother needs to rest, she won't be able to if she is worrying about you." Itachi told him. "I will come and get you soon. But for a little while, go and get some sleep and something to eat."

Tiburon looked at his dad, tears in his eyes. "But you told me to protect mom. I can't do that when you won't let me stay with her."

Itachi kissed his forehead. "I will watch over her for you. Rest Tiburon, and I will come and get you soon."

Kisame took Tiburon from Itachi and hugged him. "Come on Tibby."

Tiburon wiped his eyes on his sleeve as Kisame took him from his father and wrapped his arms around him. Tiburon went quietly, noticing the look in his father's eyes as pained and worried.

He sniffed and worked on composing himself as Kisame carried him away from the medical center and to the kitchen. Kathryn and Deidara were in there with Kakuzu, Hidan, Cielo, Sanaa, Ash, and Sable.

"Hey Kisame, un." Deidara greeted. "I thought you and Tibby would be glued to Alice's side yeah."

"I'm leaving Tibby with you guys for a minute." Kisame explained. "They're going to start working on healing Alice, and it's probably not something he needs to see. Keep him with you guys." He looked at Hidan. "Try to get him something to eat and if he's tired, let him go to sleep. I have to go and set up a chakra link just in case someone needs more chakra to heal Alice."

Kisame handed Hidan Tiburon when Hidan reached for him and Tiburon rested his head on Hidan's shoulder, curling up in the Jashinist's lap because he was sick with worry.

Kisame knelt towards Tiburon and rumpled his hair. "Just be patient, buddy. It won't be too long. Be good for a few minutes, okay?"

Tiburon nodded silently.

"I'm going to go back to the medical center but I should be back in like fifteen minutes at the most. Hopefully Sasori's plan works for a chakra link from this distance. I don't think he expected Tiburon to be a factor." Kisame stated. "See you guys in a minute."

Kathryn watched Kisame walk away before going to Tiburon. She knelt in front of Hidan and put her hands on either side of Tiburon's face. "You okay, Tibby?"

Tiburon didn't answer.

Kathryn's gaze softened and she straightened up before hugging Tiburon. Tiburon just sniffed sadly and leaned further into Hidan, not wanting anyone's contact but his parents'. Hidan hugged him with one arm when Kathryn released him and offered Tiburon some leftovers from dinner.

Tiburon turned them down by blatantly ignoring their presence.

Hidan had been about to take Tiburon to a bedroom to sleep, but stopped when Kisame returned. Kisame walked over to Tiburon and Hidan, stopping about a foot away.

"He's probably pissed off at us." Hidan stated. "He's not responding to shit."

Kisame looked at Hidan. "You're not me."

Kisame reached for Tiburon, looking into the boy's shinning red eyes.

Tiburon extended his arms silently.

Kisame picked him up without hesitation and hugged him tightly. Tiburon returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Kisame's neck. Kisame backed away from Hidan and sat down with Tiburon in his lap three chairs away. He stroked Tiburon's hair and rocked him slightly, whispering soothing words in his ear.

Tiburon fell asleep soon after in Kisame arms.

* * *

><p><em>A wee bit of foreshadowing in here.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Today is Itachi's birthday, as well as my cousin Kyle. :) I love my cousin. He's ten time more awesome than I am.  
><em>

Answer: _Probably the Kage fight, though Konoha 11 vs Akatsuki would be entertaining. I just think the Kage fight would be more... extreme because of the difference in skills between the Kage and the 11._

**QotC: **_When's your birthday? You don't have to tell me the year, just the day. And if you don't want to share that, then tell me how your day has been.__  
><em>

_**WotC: **birthday = cumpleaños.  
><em>

_I need to be quick because I have a lot to do today. I have to go to a wedding. (It's mine and Itachi's...) No, it's my aunt's.  
><em>

_Is anyone canon paired up in this series: No. I don't really ship any non-canon couples besides Pein and Konan (Though they've been paired up since the second story), Kisame and Itachi but that's a guilty pleasure of mine along with KakuHida and SasoDei. No, Naruto isn't with Sakura or Hinata and Sasuke's single, just like the others. It's not really detrimental to my story for them to be together so I didn't bother. Because someone would end up bitching about the pairing and then I'd get pissed and probably spend an entire chapter ranting.  
><em>

_But, moving on.  
><em>

_Also, new Naruto movie? Is anyone else as excited as I am about that? And what if Kishi decided to make an Akatsuki movie... I'd fucking die.  
><em>

_Well see you lovelies.  
><em>


	34. Chapter 34

_So much third person..._

_I am starting to miss Alice POV.  
><em>

_But do not worry my dear, lovely, amazing readers, Alice POV will return next chapter.  
><em>

_Enjoy my sweeties.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Tiburon shifted in his sleep and buried his face into the warm wall of immense, muscular flesh beneath him. He knew this chakra and presence better than almost any. He associated it with complete and utter safety because he knew, no matter what danger was around, this presence would always protect him.<p>

"Kisa." Tiburon whispered.

Thick, muscular arms tightened gently around Tiburon. "Hey Tibby. You awake?"

Tiburon sighed tiredly and opened his eyes, noticing they were in the living room lying on one of the couches. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"Since last night. It's almost noon now." Kisame told him. "So it's been quite a while. You were tired." He looked up at Tiburon when said Uchiha lifted his head off Kisame's chest to look around.

"Did you sleep in here too?" Tiburon wondered.

"Duh. I wasn't going to leave you." Kisame scoffed.

Tiburon looked down. "You could have gone to your room."

"My room is too far from the medical center to keep a chakra link. Besides, I sleep on the couch all the time." Kisame excused as he stroked Tiburon's hair gently. He smirked at the boy on his chest. "Wanna go see your mom?"

Tiburon nodded immediately.

Kisame grinned. "Alright." He sat up, situating Tiburon in his arm so he didn't flop on the floor. Tiburon allowed Kisame to carry him even though he was fully capable of walking himself.

Kisame carried him to the medical center and peeked in the room before walking in. Tiburon looked around and he tensed.

Alice was lying on an actual medical table this time, still on her stomach. She had even more tubes connected to her and she was unconscious. Itachi sat at the head of the table, his forehead pressed to Alice's as he stroked her hair.

"Daddy." Tiburon stated.

Itachi's eyes opened and he looked around. His gaze softened. "Tiburon."

When Kisame set Tiburon down, Tiburon ran forward and let Itachi pick him up. He sat in his father's lap, taking in all of the things connected to his mother.

"Is she okay?" Tiburon asked. "Where is everyone?"

"Do you remember the serum your mother used to take?" Itachi asked.

Tiburon nodded. "Yeah. The stuff Sori-Danna made."

Itachi nodded. "Exactly. Sasori and Sakura went to his workshop with Zetsu to try and make your mother a new, stronger serum. According to Sakura, her back is not healable. However, Sakura did get rid of the poison."

"What was it?" Kisame wondered.

"Nothing lethal at the stage it was in." Itachi explained. "The reasons she was coughing up blood were because of the strain it put on her throat and lungs, and because it was causing irritation in those spots and thus her body was trying to get rid of the disturbance. She's doing better, but she is still in pain."

Tiburon looked at his mom. "Can I stay?"

"Yes." Itachi nodded. "You can stay."

* * *

><p>"Naruto, quiet down." Sasuke hissed, rubbing his forehead with an eye roll. Naruto had been sighing periodically for the past hour along with complaints about how bored he was. Every time he did, Sasori would twitch with irritation. "Do you want one of these guys to kill you?"<p>

"But I'm so bored! There's nothing to do!" Naruto protested pathetically. "Can I go play with Sanaa, Cielo, and Tiburon at least?"

Neji glanced at Naruto. "Tiburon is with his mother. Sanaa and Cielo, however, are not."

"You can go if you want, Naruto." Kakashi stated. "Neji and I will stay here with Sakura. Sasuke, watch him please."

Sasuke sighed. "Fine. But if one of the guys here gets pissed off and attacks, I'm not getting involved.

Naruto scoffed. "They won't hurt me because Alice will kick their ass."

"**What Alice doesn't know, won't hurt her, brat.**" Zetsu commented, glancing at Naruto. He too was getting fed up with the blonde's pent up energy. "You would be surprised how vicious some of the members here get when Alice isn't around to stop them. **Not to mention, everyone is on edge because she's hurt and because Itachi could snap at any second.**"

"Zetsu's right." Sasuke told him. "Let's go find Cielo and Sanaa. It will give us something to do and I'm pretty sure Sasori wants to kill you right now."

"Not kill…" Sasori mused. "Just brutally maim. I can only take so much idiocy."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasori. "You deal with Kathryn every day."

"Kathryn is the _only_ exception." Sasori retorted, looking around to narrow his eyes threatening because he disliked the fact that someone other than he or Alice made fun of Kathryn. He smirked a second later. "I'd watch what you say, kid."

Naruto raised his eyebrow at Sasori's smirk but looked around to see Deidara and Hidan standing behind him.

Neither Shinobi looked happy.

Deidara grabbed Naruto by the front of his jacket and pulled him closer. Deidara flipped his hair out from in front of his left eye to give Naruto a full glare. "What was that about _my_ Kathryn? I believe I just heard you insult her, yeah."

Naruto whimpered.

"Easy, Deidara." Sasori barked. "Let him go."

"If Danna hadn't confiscated my clay, un…" Deidara snarled, releasing the Kyūbi container. He pointed at Naruto. "Kathryn is perfect, un!"

"I was just kidding!" Naruto whined, darting behind Sasuke when he was released.

"If you think that pussy Uchiha would stop us you're a fucking dumbass, you little bitch." Hidan growled.

Deidara glared at Naruto for a minute before looking at Sasori. "Sasori no Danna, un."

"What is it, Deidara?" Sasori wondered.

"Pein-sama sent me to see how things were going, un." Deidara stated.

Sasori raised his eyebrow. "We've gotten rid of all of the poison, but Alice's back is still an issue. Pinky, Zetsu, and I are working on a serum for her but she has a lot of issues that need fixing."

Deidara nodded. "I'll tell him that, un. Are you sure you healed Alice of the poison? She was coughing in her sleep when I went there to look for you yeah." He smirked. "Tibby said you better fix her or he'd dismantle you and hide your limbs, un." He looked at Sakura. "That might go for both of you, un."

Sasori scoffed. "I dare him to try it."

"It might just be a reflex, or she's clearing her throat of anything left in it." Sakura told Deidara with a small smile. "I'll double check when we go back. We've almost isolated something that could work, but we need to make sure it's going to last."

"Well hurry your ass up. I can't take much more of the shitty food." Hidan snapped. "Let's go Blondie. We have to report back to our shitty Leader."

"Hidan, I will need you to test this serum." Sasori informed him. "So stay close."

"What the fuck ever." Hidan said dismissively. "Come on, Dei-chan."

Deidara exchanged a look with Sasori before following after Hidan.

Sasuke looked at Naruto when they left. "Told you, idiot."

"Why'd you take his clay?" Zetsu wondered, looking at Sasori.

"Because he would use it if I didn't. Kakuzu took Hidan's weapons too." Sasori explained.

Zetsu chuckled. "**That's as good of a reason as any.**"

Sasuke shook his head. "Alright, we're going to get the kids."

"Be careful." Kakashi advised. "Naruto, listen to Sasuke."

"Alright sensei alright!" Naruto said dismissively, following Sasuke down one of the many hallways.

It didn't take them long to find Sanaa and Cielo. Both of them were in the training grounds, watching Sable and Ash chase each other. Sanaa was giggling while Cielo had a small smile on his face.

"Hey kids!" Naruto greeted.

"Naru! Sasuke!" Sanaa cheered, running over to greet him. "What are you doing?"

Sasuke patted her head when she hugged him. "He was bored, so I brought him here."

"I'm impressed he lasted as long as he did." Cielo commented. "I was sure he was going to come here yesterday."

"We were busy yesterday." Naruto told him. "Every time Sakura touched Alice, Itachi's chakra would coil like he was about to attack her."

"I'm surprised he didn't." Cielo commented.

"He tried." Sasuke informed him. "If I hadn't been there to calm him down, he probably would have put Sakura in Tsukuyomi."

Naruto shook his head. "Your brother is so scary."

"He's only like that when people he doesn't trust are around Alice." Sasuke sighed.

Cielo frowned. "How is Alice?"

"She's doing better." Sasuke assured him. "Tiburon is with her right now."

Cielo nodded. "Good. That's how it should be."

Sanaa smiled and hugged Naruto's leg. "Naru, do you wanna play hide and seek with me and Cielo? Sasuke-sensei, you can play too!"

Sasuke sighed as Naruto agreed enthusiastically. "They are going to kill us…"

* * *

><p>Sakura smiled as she walked into the medical center to see Tiburon sitting in Itachi's lap, smacking Kisame's hand whenever said missing-nin would poke his stomach. Itachi was watching the pair, a tiny smirk on his face.<p>

"Morning." She greeted.

Itachi looked up and his smirk faded but he didn't glare as he had the day before. Kisame just raised his eyebrow while Tiburon waved.

"We've almost isolated something that might help Alice, but I want to double check a few things, which is why we're here." Sakura explained, gesturing between herself, Sasori, and her two escorts.

"Where are Sasuke and Naruto?" Tiburon asked.

"Naruto was being a distraction, so we kicked him out with Sasuke to watch over him." Kakashi explained, giving Tiburon a small smirk.

Sasori rolled his eyes and walked around Itachi to Alice's side. "We need her to be awake for this."

Itachi's eyes narrowed but he nodded, trusting Sasori's judgment.

Sasori cut off the drugs and channeled a bit of chakra into Alice's head to wake her. She opened her eyes and glared at him. "You interrupted my dream, asshole."

"Get over it." Sasori told her.

"I can't." She stated.

He rolled his eyes. "Well you'll learn to forgive me."

"I can never forgive you for interrupting a stripping Itachi." Alice spat.

Itachi sighed and shook his head while Kisame and Kakashi laughed.

"The fact that you're ornery is a good sign." Sasori stated. "Will you be able to handle sitting up?"

Alice looked at him. "I have enough drugs in my system right now that I probably can handle it. Doing it myself? Hell no."

"That's why I am here, moron." Sasori rolled his eyes. "Kisame, help me support her."

"Kay." Kisame shrugged, standing up. He helped Sasori coax Alice into a sitting position where she leaned back into Kisame's chest.

Alice smiled at him. "Hey Kisa."

He grinned down at her. "Hey Alice."

"I missed you." She told him.

He kissed her forehead. "I missed you too."

"Alice." Sakura began, regaining Alice's attention. "I need to check to make sure you still don't have any poison left in your body. Sasori and I think it was just you cleaning your system out, but we need to be sure."

"Go for it." Alice grunted.

"Open." Sakura encouraged with a cotton swab in her hand. Alice obeyed and sat there, unmoving, while Sakura swabbed the back of her throat. She then sent chakra into Alice's chest before turning away from her to inspect her notes. When Sakura was done, Sasori smirked at Alice.

"What?" Alice glared.

"No gag reflex?" Sasori wondered.

The brunette grinned. "I thought you already knew that."

"Nope." Sasori admitted. "However, my opinion of you has been forever changed."

Alice winked. "I told you I was the best cleaner in history."

Kisame snorted with laughter while Itachi simply face-palmed.

Sakura raised her eyebrow at Alice.

Alice looked at her. "Don't judge me because I can please my husband."

Neji made a face while Sakura blushed. Kakashi just joined Kisame by laughing.

"Daddy!" Tiburon whined. "Why is everyone laughing?"

Itachi sighed. "Your mother is getting better, Tiburon. That's why they're laughing."

Tiburon smiled. "Good."

"That's enough sexual innuendos out of you, Alice." Sasori stated, patting her head. "Back to drug land."

Alice sighed dejectedly. "I miss sarcasm."

"I will be sure to have a battle ready for you as soon you're better." Sasori assured her, helping Kisame lay her down once more.

Alice watched him connect her to the drug drips with a sigh. "Thanks Loofa."

Sasori dipped his head at her. "Don't mention it, Alice. Just rest and hopefully, the next time I wake you up will be the last."

Alice opened her mouth to comment but was cut off by Naruto running by the door as he ran away from an armed Hidan. "HELP!"

"HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY RITUAL YOU STUPID BITCH!" Hidan shouted as he chased after Naruto, covered in blood.

Sanaa and Cielo ran after them. "Hidan-oji! Don't hurt Naru! He didn't mean to!"

Kathryn skipped by a second later. "Run Naruto! Run!"

Deidara jogged behind Kathryn with a grin on his face. "He's such an idiot, un."

Sasuke strolled boredly by after them, pausing by the doorway and peeking in. "I told you he was going to piss one of them off. That's what he gets for hiding in one of Hidan's ritual rooms even though I told him not to."

Sasori sighed. "Kakuzu! Restrain your moron!"

"Don't bring me into this." Kakuzu's voice retorted from somewhere in the base. "I'm bored too and this is the best entertainment present with Alice out of commission."

Alice smiled. "Good to know I'm missed."

"Sable! Attack!" Tiburon shouted, sliding off his father's lap to run out of the room and join the chase.

A howl ripped through the base before Hidan's yelling went louder for a moment as he swore in pain before it was cut off.

"Good job Sable!" Naruto praised.

Alice laughed lightly. "I'm missing all the fun."

Sakura beamed at Alice. "Don't worry, Alice. We'll make it quick so you can enjoy it too."

Alice nodded. "I'm holding you to that." She looked at Itachi and smirked. "I'm having Uchiha withdraws too. We need to clean soon."

Itachi just sighed and rolled his eyes with a small, amused and relieved smile. Alice was getting better; her returning sarcasm and perverse behavior was proof of the fact.

It didn't take long, but the next day Sasori, Zetsu, and Sakura managed to make an even more powerful serum for Alice to take. Her body wouldn't be able to become immune to its effects, but it was possible for her to get addicted to it so she was only allowed to use it when she needed it. That was fine with Alice considering she only used her last serum when she truly needed it.

The Konoha Shinobi stayed for another night while Alice recovered from the excess drugs and adjusted to the new serum in case Sakura's skills were needed. The next morning, after nothing unfortunate happened, the Konoha ninjas were thanked and sent home. The Akatsuki base went back to normal.

Well… as normal as it could get with the slowly approaching exam and an Alice who was growing more and more paranoid about her kids participating.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump._

Answer: _My birthday is June 28th. :)_

**QotC: **_Favorite comedy movie? (I have not asked this. I asked favorite horror movie.)__  
><em>

_**WotC: **exam = examen/prueba_

_Some of you have probably noticed I have deleted one of my stories. Because apparently, Fanfiction is being a bitch and is going after the lemons and whatnot. It's on the front page of the website so go read it. Basically, it gave me an excuse to delete something of mine that I didn't particularly like. But, this also means that a number of my most favorite stories are losing some of their content and that makes me mad.  
><em>

_But, I am but a lowly author. I alone can do nothing. One of my reviews gives link to a petition fighting Fanfiction's actions so feel free to check it out and sign the petition if you so chose. I don't care.  
><em>

_Much love to all of you, but I must go. I have to beat my brother in Super Smash Brothers before getting ready for work.  
><em>

_Toodles, lovelies.  
><em>


	35. Chapter 35

_I promise there's more story content than Author's note._

_Enjoy._

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

"Alice." Pein began, his fingers entwined beneath his chin as he rested his head on his hands. His elbows propped him up on his desk and he gazed at me with his ringed eyes of awesomeness.

"Pein." I replied smoothly, mirroring his posture across the desk from him, just to piss him off and amuse Konan who was stifling giggles a few feet away.

He rolled his eyes. "I brought you here today to inform you of something very important."

"I came here today to hear you inform me of something very important." I replied with a serious face.

Itachi ran a hand over his face. "Alice."

I smirked. "Itachi."

"Maturity, please." He sighed.

Leaning back in my seat, I grabbed his hand. "Yes dear." I looked at Pein. "What did you want to tell me, Fearless Leader?"

"The Chunin exams will be starting in a week." He said smoothly.

My eye twitched.

"Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo will be participating." He continued.

My knuckles cracked.

"I have already cleared it with the Hokage, and you, Itachi, Deidara, Kathryn, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu will be going to Konoha. I foresaw your maternal paranoia and cleared it with her so you will be able to know exactly what is going on during the exam. Because it's you, you might be permitted to watch parts of it that no one but proctors and the Hokage may." Pein explained.

Itachi squeezed my hand. "What about you, Leader-sama?"

"Konan, Zetsu, and I will not be going to Konoha until the final round starts. Itachi, _you_ are in charge in my stead. Please keep the other members, and your wife, under control." Pein said seriously.

"Absolutely, Leader-sama." Itachi nodded.

"I will be sending Zetsu periodically to check on you." Pein continued. "Alice, breathe. Your son will be fine. He is a very capable boy."

I glared. "I want to know what sort of tests they'll be going through."

"The usual, probably." Pein admitted.

"If my baby gets hurt in that Forest of Death, it won't be a forest anymore, but it certainly will be dead." I snarled. "I'll sick Deidara on it with fire and lighter fluid."

Itachi chuckled and kissed the side of my head, amused by my motherly violence. He looked at Pein and raised his eyebrow. "When do we leave, Leader-sama?"

"Within the next four or five days depending." Pein informed us. "You need to give Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo a few days to get their excitement of Konoha out of their system before the exams begin."

"Should we leave earlier to set up living arrangements?" Itachi asked.

"No." Pein said with a sigh. "That is another thing I wished to speak to you two about. A section of Konoha has been set up for the Akatsuki to use whenever we wish to visit. Tsunade believed it would be useful since we visit so often. We'll be staying free of charge besides food and activities."

I frowned. "So why are you sighing? Are you unhappy about the location?"

"Personally, no. However, I know it might upset you two." He said calmly.

"So?" I pressed, a few thoughts running through my head. "Where are we staying?"

His eyes flicked to Itachi. "The Uchiha district."

Itachi twitched and I felt his hand clench into a fist at my side since his arm was around my waist. I had a feeling this was the place Pein meant. I had mentally hoped I had guessed incorrectly, but Shinobi are kind of predictable, especially when you know them as well as I do.

Because of that, I know just how uncomfortable this was going to make Itachi.

He slaughtered his entire family there.

"Apparently, Sasuke has decided move into the district and he was the one who suggested it be reserved for us." Pein explained. "It was either that, or the district would be open to the public to use. According to the Hokage, Sasuke was not at all happy about that alternative."

I rubbed Itachi's leg gently in an attempt to soothe him and looked at Pein. "As long as Sasuke and Itachi are alright with it, I don't mind. Though, it might be a little hard to handle at first." I glanced at Itachi who was staring ahead, completely motionless. "For some of us at least…"

"I understand." Pein nodded. "You two can leave with Tiburon earlier if you think you might need more time to adjust."

"We'll talk about it." I told him. "I'll let you know what we're doing as soon as I know myself. Thanks for telling us beforehand, Pein."

Pein dipped his head. "So be it. You two are dismissed."

I winked at him, smiled at Konan, and then stood. I grabbed Itachi's hand and pulled him to his feet. He snapped out of his shock-induced trance long enough to follow me from Pein's office and to our room.

But it didn't last long.

He sat on the edge of the bed when I released him and he stared at the ground, his fingers twitching. His Sharingan was spinning slowly, proving he was feeling a strong emotion, but it wasn't anger.

"Itachi." I stated.

He looked up at me and sighed. "Yes?"

"Are you gonna be okay?" I asked, walking over to him. I put my hands on either side of his face and stood in front of him, looking into his eyes.

He bent his head up slightly to meet my gaze. "Hn."

I frowned. "You give me a serious answer, Itachi." I stroked his cheek with my thumb. "I'm worried about you."

He sighed and placed his hands over mine to hold them there. "I should be fine, Alice. As long as you are with me, I will be alright."

"Well duh." I scoffed. "Your side is where I belong. Nothing could take me away from you. And if my word isn't proof, remember that I've traveled worlds to stay with you." I bent slightly to kiss him gently. "I love you."

"And I love you." He told me. He released my hands to wrap his arms around my torso. I curled my arms around his shoulder and hugged his head, stroking his hair and resting my chin on the top of his head. "I never thought I would have to go back there."

"We'll go early so you can get used to it." I told him. "And if it proves to be too much, we'll stay in a hotel, finances and budget be damned."

He smirked a bit. "If there is one thing I don't regret about my decision to become a criminal, it is the fact that it led me to you."

"Technically, Tobi's stupidity led you to me." I snickered.

He shrugged and hugged me. "Either way."

"Do you want to leave tomorrow?" I asked.

"Hn." He nodded. "We'll bring Tiburon and Kisame. Cielo went back with Sasuke a few days ago so we won't have to worry about him."

"You take a minute to collect yourself and I'll go and tell them." I offered, stroking his hair. "I'll let Pein know too."

Itachi looked at me as I pulled away from him and he nodded. "Alright."

I kissed him and hugged him before walking away. "I'll begin packing when I get back. Make sure you bring all of your ninja stuff."

He grunted at me, his eyes flicking to his ninja tools which I knew he was probably going to clean and tend to since he has something on his mind. He would probably end up doing it to Tiburon's as well.

I smiled slightly and left the room, crossing the hallway and peeking into Tiburon's room. He was sitting on his floor, in a meditative pose. His eyes were closed and his hands were folded in his lap. He was breathing evenly, though his body didn't move.

I watched him for a minute, impressed by his ability to seem so calm even though most of the time, especially at night; he was always on the move. When he was excited, there was no stopping him and the kid trained whenever he had the chance.

As I watched him, he must have become aware of my presence because he opened his eyes, his Sharingan activated. "Mom?"

"Hey baby." I smiled. "Did I interrupt you?"

He shook his head. "I didn't know you were there. I can't ever sense you because of your lack of chakra." He cracked his neck. "Dad interrupted me. Why is his chakra so… tense?"

"He's a little unnerved by a few things going on right now." I informed him. "He'll be alright in time."

"Did you want something?" He asked. I knew he was still concerned for his father, but since I wasn't openly worried about it, he assumed it wasn't anything to fret over.

"Yeah. Sometime tomorrow, we're heading to Konoha. Just me, you, your dad, and Kisame." I explained. "So, start packing when you get a chance. I'll double check your stuff, but I want you to get the things you need."

He cocked his head to the side. "How long will we be there?"

"You're taking the Chunin exams," I reminded him. "Pack everything you might need."

He grinned, excitement coursing through him. He was thrilled to be taking this test, that much was obvious. He was ready for it too. I hate to admit it, but Tiburon was ready to be a full blown ninja. I don't need to worry about him as much as I do.

But I'm his mother. I do what I want.

"Why aren't Sanaa and the others coming?" He asked.

"We're going early." I shrugged. "We've got things we need to do before everyone else shows up."

"Okay." He shrugged. "I'll start packing now."

I smiled. "Alright." I turned to leave his room as he started getting up but stopped when he called my name.

"Mom?" He called.

I paused and looked around at him. "Hmm?"

"I'm gonna be fine in this test." He assured me. "Don't freak out, okay?"

I sighed. "No promises."

He smirked but didn't say anything more as I left his room. I went to Kisame's room and slipped inside. My Devil Shark was napping, his arms wrapped around the pillow he was burying his face into. He was lying on his stomach, his quiet snoring being muffled by the pillow.

I smirked and walked into the room, tiptoeing quietly so I didn't disturb him. When he didn't wake up by the time I reached the side of his bed, I eased myself onto the mattress and snuck closer to him.

I snuggled into Kisame from his side and he shifted in his sleep. He rolled onto his side before wrapping his arms around the source of warmth beside him, which just so happened to be me. He then returned to being motionless, his quiet snoring no longer muffled.

I smiled and hugged Kisame back, kissing his cheek.

He sighed and squeezed me, burying his face into the space between the pillow and my head. When I hugged him back however, he then registered that he wasn't alone.

Kisame opened his eyes and looked down before smirking at me. "Hey Alice."

"Hi there handsome." I smirked. "You're looking exceptionally cute right now."

He chuckled and hugged me tighter, kissing the top of my head. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I had something to tell you, but when I saw you in here sleeping, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to relive some old memories from my old bedroom." I explained.

"Well, you're always welcome here, Alice." Kisame assured me. "What did you need to tell me?"

"We're heading to Konoha sometime tomorrow. By we, I mean me, Tiburon, and Itachi, if you want to tag along." I informed him.

He nodded. "Of course I'll come." He raised his eyebrow. "Why are we going early?"

"Itachi needs some time to settle in properly without the tension the other members will cause. He's still not comfortable with showing them his weaker side." I admitted.

Kisame's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"We're staying in the Uchiha district. It's been reserved for our usage, sort of like a base inside of another village." I sighed. "Itachi was a little shocked and he's probably going to be very uncomfortable for a while."

Kisame nodded. "I understand. I'll come. The sooner we go the better. I'll start packing before I go to bed."

I hugged him. "Fair enough."

Kisame was quiet for a while as he returned my hug before he sighed. "His chakra is really tense. Who had this idea?"

"Sasuke." I shrugged. "It was either we use it, or the village would open it up to the public to live in. Sasuke obviously didn't want that so he issued this request and Tsunade bought it. It's a good idea, despite the location. And it will give us some privacy and more room."

"And two very tense Uchiha brothers." Kisame added.

"True. There's a training ground attached to it though, so they'll be able to blow off some steam if need be." I nodded.

Kisame chuckled. "Fair enough."

"Righty, well I have to go tell Pein that we're leaving early." I announced. "I'll see you later, Kisa." I got up, kissed Kisame's cheek and hugged him before leaving the room.

I informed Pein of our plan and he accepted it without issue. Satisfied that everything was taken care of, I returned to my room, fully intending on soothing my weasel. However, when I got to our room I realized that that wasn't necessary.

Itachi was lounging on our bed, his eyes closed and one of his hands tucked under his head. His other hand was running through Tiburon's hair. Tiburon was lying beside his father, his head resting on Itachi's stomach.

Tiburon was staring at the ceiling, muttering under his breath. He paused for a second and glanced at Itachi. Itachi whispered something in return and Tiburon nodded before continuing his muttering.

"You two are cute." I announced.

Itachi opened one eye to look at me while Tiburon rolled his head to the side to grin at me. "Hi Mom."

"What are you boys doing?" I asked, walking towards the bed.

"I was going over some stuff. Dad was helping." Tiburon explained.

Itachi kissed my cheek when I reached the bed and rested my knee on the mattress. "He was recalling Katon jutsu when you walked in."

I nodded. "My favorite."

"Because you're a pyromaniac." Itachi reminded me.

"So are you, Uchiha." I huffed. I pointed at Tiburon. "He gets it from you."

Itachi chuckled and kissed my forehead, still running his fingers through Tiburon's hair. "It is an Uchiha thing, to be affiliated with fire. I am curious to what his second nature will be."

"Probably water. That's your second affiliation." I told him.

Itachi shrugged. "True. Perhaps he will have lightning like Sasuke."

Tiburon grinned. "Both are cool. I don't care which one I get. I'm happy with fire." He turned a bit. "Where's Sable, Mom?"

"Last time I saw her, she was with Hidan." I shrugged. "She probably got bored with us and is tormenting him." I sighed and straightened up. "I'll start packing. I want to get to Konoha before dark tomorrow."

"Hn." Itachi hummed. "Tiburon, go and pack. If you need more storage scrolls, let me know. I have plenty."

"Alright." Tiburon nodded boredly.

He then left, leaving me and Itachi to pack up all our shit. Because tomorrow, we would be in Konoha, and a few days later, my baby would be fighting against numerous kids from other villages to be promoted.

In a few days, I would lose control on my sanity.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>_Naruto: Shippūden_ has ranked several times as one of most watched series in Japan._

Answer: _"I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry", "Love Guru", "Dogma", "Get Smart", "Twilight", and probably… The Scary Movies 1 and 2._

**QotC: **_Favorite Original Naruto Arch? (Not Shippuden)_

_**WotC: **__Fire – Fuego_

_Now, I'm going to break off from this Author's note to address a reviewer. Please note that this note is serious and I mean every word said. Also, remember that this is the _internet_ and on top of that, it's _**Fanfiction**._ Internet grudges and bickering are utterly pointless in my opinion.  
>Also, again, this is purely Fanfiction. Fanfiction is where fans of a particular storygame/show/etc. take cannon things and alter it in order to create their own fiction stories. I'm not Kishi. Not all of his guidelines are mine. This is a fanfiction where I took his characters and some of his plot and I altered it to fit my desires._

_Bailey: First off- anonymous review? Really? I was going to make an author's note dedicated only to you and your long as hell review/flame/critique/whatever you want to call it. But, I decided to make this as short as I possibly can.  
>I did read your entire review. No, I'm not angry. No, I'm not insulted by what you said. I appreciate your opinion and I respect what you had to say, but my question is: If you had problems with my story, why didn't you message me or review and state them before now? I would have been more than happy to discuss my story and its many flaws (Because I am well aware there are many) with you and at least tried to alter things around. Most of the flaws would have been fixable a long time ago when they were first brought up. Now, it's been so long that the changes won't make a lick of a difference. Also, because I write this solely to please the majority of my readers, I honestly don't give a shit how illogical it might be. If it makes them happy, then good. If not, whoopdie-fucking do.<br>Yes, I know the "kitties" is overused and I mentioned that in one of my author's notes in the first part of this story. If you don't like them, don't read them. Yes, I know who the Akatsuki are and I know what they're capable of. They are human though, and they do have emotions and are capable of showing compassion and tolerating others. I also know they don't live together in the base. But ya know, it's my story and I'll do what I want with it. That can be the answer to a few of your issues with my story. The full out assault on Konoha was a sub in for Pein's attack to get Naruto.  
>As to why the cellphones work, if you pay attention, Naruto is actually modernized. Sasuke has a TV in one of his flashbacks, there is a computer in the Tower, and there are telephone poles with wires in quite a number of scenes in the village as well as when they're on the road. They also have movie theaters and trains. The story is actually pretty modern, but the villages are isolated from most technology. I don't make most of this shit up. Did you notice that Kathryn and Alice are only able to contact each other and not anyone from their world? Yeah.<br>I just dislike Karin's character. I think she's a rip off of Sakura. I know she has purpose and I know she changes later on. I don't really consider her a bitch, I just dislike her character. Just like I hate Danzo and Kabuto. I dislike them for various reason though I know they are excellent characters. Sonido was a fill in. He essentially had no purpose besides to build up for later on. As for why he was a part of the Alliance, I do what I want. I also know that Otokage is an incorrect name for him, but it's what my character called him and she calls the Raikage Black Kage because she's lazy. Otokage is also a term used in the Naruto Wikipedia and it's used a lot in fanfictions. Not to mention, Hokage means fire shadow. Land of Fire. Land of Sound- Sound shadow.  
>As for Alice and Kathryn's extra kids, first chapter, bottom author's note explains why they aren't there. Do your research. A lot of Japanese manga and anime combine different languages. Look at Bleach. The Espada and Hueco Mundo are Spanish names and they are based off Spanish. Also, the Quincy are German. Also, my story. I do what I want.<br>I read _every _review no matter how long it is or what it entails. I read flames too with hopes that I find some constructive criticism in it. (Btw, I've only had a total of 3. Including your review if you want to consider it a flame.)  
>I had no issues with your review and I didn't even consider it a flame until your last statement, and even then I still don't. It amuses me more than it insults me. But thanks for remembering one of my comments.<em>

_I meant to keep that relatively short, but I tend to ramble so my apologies. Also, if you read this, thanks for getting my story more hits and reviews. This is not meant to be read in a cynical and sarcastic manner. I thank you for your rants/comments and I respect your opinion. In fact, I agree with 99% of everything you said. There are better ways to express yourself, but you're you and I am me. But next time, if you have something you'd like to say about my "work" message me. I'm capable of discussing my stories' flaws in a civilized manner. I'm not a child. I'm capable of being polite over the internet.  
>I apologize for the fact that my boredom baby wasn't up to your standards, but this story is more of a humor based story than it is anything else. If you don't like it and you hate it as much as you say, then don't read it. I promise you I won't lose any sleep over it.<em>

_But, that's all from me for today._

_Toodles._


	36. Chapter 36

_36 chapters…_

_And we still have a long way to go._

_I'm updating today because it's 6/18/2012 and 6-18=12 and that messes with my OCD... So yeah.  
><em>

_Also, this is the third story, and this is the 36th chapter and it was posted in 2012. 12X3=36  
><em>

_YaY for math lessons!  
><em>

_Enjoy my dear readers._

* * *

><p>"Welcome back." Tsunade smiled. She had seen it appropriate to meet us at the gate when she caught wind of our coming. Itachi had sent a crow with news of our early arrival to Sasuke and then said little brother informed the Hokage.<p>

He stood off to the side with Cielo next to him and Naruto on his other side.

"Yo." I greeted, giving her a smirk. "How are you, Tsunade?"

She dipped her head in my direction. "Wonderful despite all of the paperwork. And yourself?"

"Stressed the fuck out, but I'll be fine." I shrugged. "Why don't you just pull a Naruto, make some clones, and use them to do your work?"

She stared at me. "I never thought of that."

I snickered. "And this is why I'm considered a genius." I looked around her and smiled at Naruto, Sasuke, and Cielo. "Hello you three."

"Hey Alice!" Naruto grinned. Sasuke dipped his head in greeting because he was too busy fighting off Sable to really respond and Cielo smiled at me with a small wave.

"Alice!"

I grunted as I was lifted off the ground in a hug by a big green blob. I instantly knew who it was, not only because of the enthusiastic voice, but because of the sheer amount of green youthfulness.

"Hi Lee." I deadpanned.

"It is very nice to see you Alice! You look very well!" He said excitedly.

I patted his head and he set me down. "It's good to see you too, Lee. And you're looking good yourself. Very youthful and fit."

He beamed.

I glanced over my shoulder to see Itachi and Kisame glaring at Lee, both of them easing their tense postures. I distinctly noticed a glint of metal disappear up Itachi's sleeve while Kisame lowered his arm from Samehada's hilt.

Lee's exuberance still catches them off guard.

"And Tiburon-kun!" Lee gasped, darting around me to stand unnaturally close to my son. He put his hand on Tiburon's shoulder and gave him a thumbs-up with his free hand. "Good to see you, Tiburon-kun!"

Tiburon grinned. "Hey Lee. What's up?"

"A lot is up, Tiburon-kun!" Lee yelled. "The sky for one!"

Itachi and Kisame both face-palmed.

I laughed and shook my head, looking around when I felt a soft, friendly bump on my shoulder. I smirked and dipped my head at the Hyūga beside me and the last member of their team. "Hey Neji, hey Tenten."

"Hello Alice." Neji greeted. Tenten simply smirked at me.

"How are you guys?" I asked.

Tenten shrugged. "Fine."

Neji dipped his head. "Well, thank you. I hear Tiburon is participating in the Chūnin exams."

"Yep." Tiburon confirmed. "Me, Cielo, and Sanaa are gonna kick ass!"

I glared at him. "Watch your mouth, Tiburon Shisui."

He hid behind Lee. "Sorry."

Tsunade laughed lightly at our antics before putting a hand on my shoulder. "So, shall we discuss living arrangements? I asked your leader to update you on our proposal."

I nodded and grabbed Itachi's hand as he stepped up to stand beside me. It was his way of being close to me, and lessening the number of people who would touch me. "Pein told us. We're alright with it."

"Good." Tsunade nodded. "Then we don't really need to go into detail. The district is yours to use as you please. Sasuke lives there permanently now, but you and the Akatsuki are free to come and go as you see fit. Of course, that means checking in with me when you leave and enter the village."

"Of course." I smirked. "Now, about these exams…"

Tsunade smiled. "Ah yes, Pein mentioned that you were probably going to demand being able to watch them."

"Hell yeah I am." I scoffed. "I'm a paranoid mother."

Neji raised his eyebrow at me. "Can't you just foresee the exams to soothe your worrying?"

Yeah… I never told these people that I'm not really a fortune teller. It's better to just let them believe what they want.

"I'm shutting out visions of the exams so I don't freak out if something goes wrong. Plus, it could be seen as cheating on Tiburon's part if I knew everything." I lied.

"Shutting out visions?" Tenten repeated.

I nodded. "Yes ma'am."

Naruto blinked. "You can do that?"

I scoffed. "I'm Alice, bitch. I do what I want."

Neji face-palmed, Itachi and Sasuke sighed, Kisame chuckled, and everyone else smirked.

"Truer words have never been spoken."

"Nice of you to show up, Kakashi." I smirked, looking at the silver haired Jōnin who took a standing position beside the Hokage. "I was wondering when you would get here."

"I'm always around where there's entertainment. And when you're here Alice, you are the most potent source." Kakashi chuckled.

"I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment, but when I think about it, I'm a little flattered." I laughed.

He patted my head. "It is one of your best qualities."

"Some would disagree." I shrugged.

"Well, they aren't you so it's not your problem." He returned.

I patted his arm. "Good response." I looked around. "So, Tsunade, exams. Lay them on me."

"I should not discuss this before two participants." Tsunade said, her eyes flicking to Cielo and Tiburon.

"Sasuke, be a dear and take Tiburon and Cielo away. Take them and Lee to Shikamaru's house so they can annoy the crap out of him. And tell him it's from me." I said dismissively, waving my hand, internally smirking at the thought of driving Konoha's laziest Shinobi up a wall.

**Third Person!**

In the Nara household…

Shikamaru rubbed his forehead as he sat lazily on the porch of his family's estate. A frown creased his usually bored and tired expression and he sighed heavily.

"What's wrong, Shikamaru?" Shikaku asked, looking up at his son from their game of Shogi.

Shikamaru shook his head. "I have a feeling something troublesome is going to happen soon. And for some reason, I feel like Alice is behind it."

**First Person!**

"Kisame …" I whispered, looking over my shoulder at him as we approached the Uchiha district. "Do you want to give us a minute?"

Kisame looked by me to his extremely tense partner. He assessed Itachi from a moment before nodding. "I'll go check on Tiburon."

I smiled at him. "Thank you."

Kisame grinned at me before kissing the top of my head. He left a moment later, heading in the direction of Tiburon's chakra. I returned my attention to Itachi when Kisame was gone and squeezed his hand gently.

"You okay?" I asked.

He tore his gaze from the familiar walls surrounding his clan's old home to look at me. "Hn."

"Words please." I told him.

"I am alright." He said quietly.

I nodded. "Alright. We'll take it slow."

Itachi kissed the side of my head and squeezed my hand when we finally reached the entrance. "Don't leave."

"Never." I promised him. "Come on. You know your way around better than I do."

He dipped his head and sighed quietly before pulling me into the district. With slow, cautious steps, Itachi led me through the various streets of the deserted district until we finally reached what was, without question, the nicest looking house in the entire joint.

I recognized it as Itachi and Sasuke's childhood home.

Itachi stared at it, his face appeared void of emotions to anyone who couldn't read him as easily as I could. I could see the guilt, sadness, and slight fear on his face that was hidden under his stoic mask.

"It's okay." I whispered. "It's alright Itachi."

He twitched.

"Come on." I encouraged, pulling him after me. He let me pull him, his eyes never leaving the front door. When we reached it after what felt like an hour, I stopped him in front of the door and put my hands on either side of his face. "Itachi, look at me."

Itachi blinked out of his daze and met my gaze. "Alice."

"You are fine." I told him. "It's alright. I know this is hard for you, but it's just a house. Your brother forgave you for what you were forced to do and I never judged you for it. No one that matters blames you for what happened here." I kissed him gently. "Just think of it as a very scary nightmare."

Itachi closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine. "I killed them."

"You had no choice." I reminded him, kissing his nose. "You chose the lesser of all of the evils. You saved Sasuke's life."

His knuckles cracked. "My parents…"

"Love you regardless." I assured him. "Itachi, you are not responsible for that night. You did something that no one else could or would have done. You should never feel ashamed or guilty for that. You saved the lives of hundreds, potentially thousands, of people."

He opened his eyes and met my gaze. "I miss them."

My heart shattered a little at that. "I know you do, Itachi." I pulled him into a hug and kissed his head, stroking his hair. "I know and I'm sorry they are gone. I'm sorry you are sad. But you have Sasuke still. And you have me and Tiburon. I know just the three of us can't replace your entire clan and your parents, but we can help ease the pain."

Itachi returned my hug. "The three of you are all I need." He kissed my cheek. "Thank you, Alice. I love you. Thank you."

"I love you too." I told him. "And you are most welcome." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Come on. Let's go inside."

He nodded tensely and followed me inside. We took off our shoes in the foyer before fully entering the house.

It was fucking huge.

The Uchiha were loaded.

I kept those sentiments to myself as I followed Itachi down a few hallways until we reached the back patio thing where most of the flashbacks occurred. He froze halfway down it, his eyes locked on the double doors directly across from us.

There was a giant black seal on the door, preventing anyone from getting inside.

"Sasuke?" I asked, looking at the door.

Itachi didn't answer me, but I took his silence as a confirmation. Sasuke had sealed the door that lead to the room where his parents met their early deaths at the hands of his brother.

Itachi started shaking so I hugged him and turned him away from the door. "If you need to, let it out." I whispered. "No one is here but you and me. I will never think any less of you, Itachi. I respect you and love you more than any other man. You are entitled to show your emotions."

He buried his face into my neck and hugged me back, shaking. I stroked his back and played with his ponytail quietly while he calmed himself down. He didn't cry, but he did start breathing heavily and he started whispering apologies.

When he was finished, his hold on me loosened, but he never broke away from me. I just hugged him silently, giving him time to compose himself.

He pulled away from me slightly and met my gaze after a long while. "Forgive me, Alice."

"There's nothing to forgive you for, dork." I told him. I kissed him fully. "Feel better?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Good." I smiled. "Are you going to be okay here?"

"I believe so." He stated, with a sure look in his eyes. "As long as you are with me and Sasuke is alright with it."

"Well I'm staying with you wherever you go, and Sasuke wants you here with him." I told him, patting his cheek. "Where are we staying?"

"My room." He informed me, grabbing my hand. "Come."

I allowed Itachi to pull me through the house until we reached a giant room that was bigger than ours back in the Love Shack. He looked around it for a moment before going to the closet.

He pushed it open and looked around inside at all of the boxes stacked up in it before glancing at me. "This is my room. Is it alright?"

I looked around. There was a decently large bed in the corner of the room beside a window. A massive dresser was on the opposite wall, a weapons rack was against the other corner, and the walls were painted a darker green and the floor was hard wood.

I looked back at Itachi who was watching me curiously. "I like it. It's very… you."

He smirked.

"Do you have porn in one of those boxes? You were a teenage boy before you left…" I asked, grinning at him.

His smirk vanished and was replaced by a deadpan expression. "Alice."

I snickered. "You did, didn't you?"

"No." He deadpanned.

I huffed. "Boring." I extended my hands towards him and wiggled my fingers. "Let me raid your shit."

"Later." He told me. "Sasuke, Kisame, Sable, and the kids are coming."

"No fun." I pouted. "I wanted to analyze your stuff and your childhood and tease you about embarrassing things I found."

Itachi kissed my forehead. "Forgive me Alice. Maybe later."

"At least you didn't poke my forehead." I mused, shrugging. "Let's go."

Itachi led me back to the entrance because this place was huge and I would get lost and we just reached it when Sasuke, Kisame, Cielo, and Tiburon entered the estate. Sable trotted in ahead of them, sniffing everything curiously.

"I'm having fangirl moments right now." I told them as they reached us.

Sasuke smirked at me but looked at his brother. "Nii-san."

Itachi shifted slightly. "Otouto."

Sasuke sighed. "Are you alright with this?"

"Only if you are." Itachi replied.

"I haven't stayed here yet." Sasuke admitted. "I think I might feel more comfortable if you are here with me."

I smiled. "You two need a minute?"

Itachi glanced at me. "No Alice, it will be alright. It just might be uncomfortable for the first few days until we get used to it."

Sasuke nodded. "He's right. Thank you though."

"Anytime." I told him. I looked around at my son who was gawking at the place. "Like it Tibby?"

Tiburon nodded. "This place is awesome!"

"Sasuke and your dad used to live here. This is where they grew up." I told him.

Tiburon blinked. "Really?" He looked at his dad. "Where's your room?"

Itachi chuckled. "I will show you later. For now, we need to find somewhere for you, Cielo, and Kisame to stay."

"They can stay here. I've already had a few of the other houses renovated for the other members to stay in. Each set of partners gets their own place." Sasuke explained. "Cielo stays here with us as well."

Cielo nodded quietly before his attention flicked to the bushes. Ash slipped out of them and slinked over to Cielo to sit at his side. "I was wondering where you went, Ash."

Ash just rubbed his head against Cielo's leg.

"What about when we leave?" Kisame asked, grinning at Cielo and the fox before looking at Sasuke.

"I will stay here." Sasuke informed him. "I'm moving in permanently as of today." He put his hands on Cielo and Tiburon's heads. "When the kids are here, they will stay here with me as well."

I glanced at Sasuke. "I take it the kitchen is void of food?"

He nodded.

I sighed. "Tachi, Sasuke, Kisa, you three get comfortable and unpack. I'm going to the market." I whistled and patted my leg. "Sable." She howled and darted to my side.

Itachi raised his eyebrow at me. "What are you doing?"

"Going to get food. Among other things." I told him. "Tibby, Cielo, come please."

"Alright." Cielo shrugged. "Come Ash."

Tiburon just grinned and jogged after me, playfully shoving Sable to get her to chase him. "Come on Cielo!" Cielo nodded and darted after him, Ash running at his side. Sable chased both boys and the fox, howling playfully.

"How are you going to pay for it, let alone carry it all?" Sasuke wondered.

"Don't worry about that, Sasuke." I smirked, looking away from my kids to meet his gaze. "I have my methods."

* * *

><p>"Just carry everything to the kitchen." I instructed. "Tiburon and Cielo will show you where to go."<p>

Itachi, Sasuke, and Kisame raised their eyebrows from the porch as they watched Neji, Lee, Naruto, Sai, Yamato, Shikamaru, Choji, Kakashi, Suigetsu, Jūgo, and Kiba carry in a shit-ton of groceries. I stood off to the side with Sable next to me and Ash beside her, watching them with a smirk on my face. A pile of groceries was at my side since I carried my own weight.

"Alice?" Itachi wondered.

I smiled at him. "Hey sexy."

"… What…?" Sasuke began.

"I got food." I shrugged. "And other things like cleaning supplies." I smiled at my brother-in-law. "You're welcome."

"How did you pay for all this?" Kisame wondered.

"With my striking good looks." I said dismissively. "The details aren't important. What is important is that we have some guests for dinner tonight. I promised them all dinner if they helped me." I smirked. "My food is just that good I guess."

Itachi sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I worry about you sometimes."

I scoffed. "Please. I'm Alice." I pointed to the bags next to me. "Carry these in or I won't make you food."

Sasuke and Kisame rolled their eyes, the latter grinning, but walked over and grabbed the bags I had disposed of on the ground. They disappeared inside, carrying my goods to the kitchen for me. Itachi simply stood on the porch, face-palming.

"What?" I asked.

"You remind me of my mother." He stated.

"Good thing?" I wondered, walking over to him.

He nodded. "Hn."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him gently. "Good." He smirked into the kiss and returned it, deepening the gesture.

"Ew!"

Itachi and I looked around to see Tiburon, Cielo, and the others watching us. Naruto, Kiba, and Tiburon were the ones who said it. Kakashi, Yamato, and Kisame looked amused, while everyone else just didn't care.

Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Jūgo had seen their fair share of me eating Itachi's face. Neji, Cielo and Shikamaru were too indifferent, Choji was too busy snacking on a bag of chips I stole him, and Lee was watching us with an inspired tear. Sai just kind of stared, unmoved.

I smirked at them. "Don't be jealous. I know everyone wants to kiss Itachi, but he's mine so back off."

All of them made a face while Itachi just sighed.

I laughed. "Get your asses out of the house. I need to cook."

"Yes!"

Dinner was finished relatively soon and everyone piled into the kitchen to eat. Itachi and Sasuke were tense for a bit and they didn't eat at first, but after I threatened them, they did and I saw them relax a little bit since my scolding brought them back to reality and away from the pain of the past that clung to the house.

After dinner, I shooed all of the Konoha ninja out, promising to spend time with them tomorrow and I sent the kids to bed. Sasuke and Itachi's house had the three bedrooms used by Itachi, Sasuke, and their parents and then three guest bedrooms which were useful.

Once the kids were put away, Sable sleeping with Tiburon and Ash with Cielo, Kisame wondered off to go get settled and take a shower since he always took one at night before he went to sleep if he could.

I sat in the living room with Sasuke and Itachi, watching them quietly from the couch. They were sitting beside each other and every noise that they heard caused them to twitch and look towards a door as if they expected their mother or father to walk through at any second.

I tolerated this for about twenty minutes before my eyes narrowed and I crossed my arms. "Alright you two, it's bed time."

Sasuke looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"I mean it." I stated. "Both of you are emotionally and physically exhausted. I can see it in your faces. Itachi has been awake since four o'clock this morning and I know you've been up for a while because Cielo told me you didn't sleep either." I pointed at them. "And don't think I didn't notice you two slipping Sable and Ash your food when you thought I wasn't looking."

Itachi winced at being caught while Sasuke looked away from me stubbornly.

"Bed." I repeated.

"Fine." Sasuke sighed, getting to his feet. "Good night Alice. Good night, Nii-san."

Itachi looked at Sasuke. "Good night, Otouto."

"Night Sasuke." I told him. "Love you."

He dipped his head at us before leaving the room. When he was gone, I stood up and looked at Itachi. "It's your bedtime too. And you're sleeping tonight, or I'll shoot you up with my drugs to knock you out."

Itachi sighed and stood. "Alright, Alice. Let's go."

Itachi led me to his bedroom where we curled up together on the smaller bed. It was fine with me since it meant I got to be closer to him though. Soon after, he fell asleep.

I didn't however.

It turns out I'm not the only one who can get night terrors, though Itachi and Sasuke's were quiet as… permanent as mine nor as violent. They were nightmares, not night terrors. But they were bad all the same.

I was holding Itachi tightly while he twitched and muttered in his sleep when my door opened and Kisame poked his head in. I raised my eyebrow at him. "Kisame?"

Kisame looked at Itachi and sighed. "It looks like both of them are having a hard time with this. Sasuke's having a nightmare too."

I sighed. "Bring him in here, will you? I'll watch over them."

Kisame nodded and disappeared. A few minutes later, he carried in a shivering Sasuke who was curled into a ball. He set Sasuke beside me before he left and Sasuke latched onto me like a child clutching a security blanket. Itachi was doing the same thing, though he didn't whisper for his mommy quiet as innocently as Sasuke did. Instead, Itachi begged for forgiveness and whispered Sasuke's name. Sasuke ended up asking for Itachi later on too.

I stayed awake all night, holding onto both Uchiha brothers as they battled their nightmares brought about by the haunting memories of their childhood home.

Eventually, my contact soothed both boys as did the close proximity to each other. Sasuke shaking stopped as did Itachi's twitching and Sasuke stopped whimpering. Itachi's muttering died, but every now and then, he would whisper Sasuke's name and his hand would twitch in his brother's direction.

I think their chakras being so close together was helping more than my petting.

The next morning, Itachi was the first to wake. He shifted in his sleep and opened his eyes, noticing his tight grip around my person first, before he noticed how he wasn't the only one hugging my legs, nor were my legs the only thing he was holding. Sasuke's hand was in his grasp.

My inner fangirl about died because of the brotherly love.

He frowned at Sasuke's presence and looked around until he noticed my gaze. He looked up at me and raised his eyebrow. "Alice?"

"You two were having nightmares." I told him. "You guys calmed down faster when you were together. My presence stopped some of it, but I wasn't the one you two were asking for."

Itachi looked down. "I remember."

"Good. That means they weren't night terrors and that means they'll stop. Dreams fade in time, Tachi. That's something to look forward to." I assured him.

"I'm sorry for keeping you up." He sighed.

"I've kept you up plenty of nights." I countered. "Don't worry about it."

Sasuke shifted and opened his eyes. He stared ahead tiredly as I continued to pet him before the fact that someone was petting him registered. A gleam of attentiveness sprang into his eyes and his body tensed. His head snapped up and he looked around.

"Easy Sasuke." I soothed. "It's just me."

Sasuke looked at me, a frown on his face. "What are you doing in here?"

"Technically, this is my husband's bedroom." I mused. "I was in here first."

Sasuke glanced over and saw Itachi and obviously he connected two and two before he sighed. "I was having nightmares, wasn't I?"

"So was Itachi." I informed him. "I couldn't keep you both calm separately, so I brought you in here. Besides, you kept asking for Itachi and him for you."

"How did you carry him?" Itachi asked.

I raised my eyebrow. "Kisame brought him in here for me."

Sasuke sighed and detached himself from my person before rubbing his forehead. "Sorry, Alice."

I waved off his apologies. "Nightmares are my area of expertise, sweetie. Now up, both of you. Go wake yourselves up and I'll make breakfast."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, getting off the bed. Itachi waited for me to get up and crack my back before he too got up and headed towards the bathroom connected to his bedroom. Sasuke left a moment before I did and he went one way while I went the other, heading to the kitchen.

Kisame was there already, pestering Tiburon who sat at the table looking dead. Cielo sat beside him, amusement in his eyes as he watched Tiburon get more and more irritated.

"Good morning Alice." Cielo told me.

"Hi Cielo." I smiled, stroking his hair. "Kisa, leave him alone before he puts you in a Genjutsu."

Kisame grinned. "He's too tired to fight me."

Tiburon smacked Kisame hand when he pulled on his ear. "I'll bite the crap out of you."

"Bring it. I'll return the favor and my teeth are sharper." Kisame challenged.

Tiburon stuck his tongue out at Kisame. "Butthead."

"Tiburon, Cielo, did you boys feed Sable and Ash?" I asked.

Cielo nodded. "I did."

"Thank you." I stated, going to the fridge. "We'll eat breakfast, and then we'll decide what we're doing."

"Sasuke-sensei said he wanted to train with Tiburon and I." Cielo informed me.

"Kisa said he wanted to help train with us too." Tiburon told me.

Kisame looked at me and away from irritating Tiburon. "I want to help him with the water jutsu he copied from me. He has the ability to use them; he just needs to learn how to use them without wasting his chakra."

I shrugged. "Alright. Then Itachi and I will probably wander around the village." I looked back to the table when I heard a loud thud and laughter sounded from behind me to see Tiburon had tackled Kisame and was punching his chest while Kisame's laughter began filling the room. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I told you to leave him alone, Kisame. He inherited my temper."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>__Itachi is tied with Jiraiya for having the highest stat total in the databooks._

Answer: _Either Chūnin Exams, or the Sasuke Retrieval arch. Btw, my brother bought me all the seasons from the original Naruto for my birthday and Christmas presents. He's single handedly, the best brother on the planet._

**QotC: **_Favorite Shippuden Arch so far?_

_**WotC: **__Truth – verdad_

_So, for those of you who love me as much as I love you, and for those of you who adore Naruto as much I as I do, I have a question/proposition._

_I'm currently writing a slightly Alternate Universe/Alternate Time Naruto fanfiction. And well, because I love my readers and supporters so much, I thought I'd offer the chance to write a story with me!_

_Fun right?_

_No. While I do want to be more involved with you lovelies, that isn't the only reason why. I'm having a hard time getting inspiration for some of the vital parts of the story (since I already have the plot laid out) and I'm mainly just getting ideas for filler chapters. So, if you're interested or curious or something, message me and we'll talk. Or review or however you people contact others these days._

_To address some questions and concerns that I know might pop up:  
>No OCs. If there are any original characters in the story, they will of my creation (or whoever wants to help me) and they will be random civilians or Shinobi that have little purpose.<br>No, it will not conflict with my updating of this story.  
>I love the idea I have for this story and I already have a named picked out. It's a solid idea so I won't abandon it like I did<em> Snatched.  
><em>No, the Akatsuki are not the main characters. But yes, Itachi is one of the few.<br>Yes, it will be a badass story. XD_

_So, let me know what you guys think in a review (preferably PM) and if you're interested, let me know._

_See you._


	37. Chapter 37

_Yeahh... really, really distracted right now. Watching a good TV show.  
><em>

_Enjoy. I don't own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Tiburon stretched boredly as he stood at the front gate of the village, waiting for Sanaa, her parents, Sori-Danna, Hidan-oji, and Kuzu-oji to show up. His mother was standing a few feet from him with his father and she was having a debate with Sasuke, Jūgo, Suigetsu, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Neji about the effectiveness of something called a spork from her land and how they were more useful than chopsticks and normal kitchen utensils.

Itachi was standing beside her, his arm around her waist and a deadpan expression on his face as he watched her argue. Kisame was next to him, grinning at Alice's enthusiasm.

"What is she talking about?"

Tiburon glanced over his shoulder and raised his eyebrow at his best male friend and teammate. Cielo looked confused as he watched Alice rant, his stoic face contorted by blatant mystification.

Tiburon shrugged. "Who knows? My mom is nuts."

Cielo smirked at that, his blue eyes glinting with amusement. "Yes she is. But that's what makes her fun to be around."

"I guess so." Tiburon stated, glancing at his mother. He glanced around. "Where's Sable?"

Cielo pointed towards the trees off to the side of the gate. "She's with Akamaru and Ash over there."

"Oh." Tiburon nodded. He yawned again and sighed. "Why the hell are they so slow in getting here?"

"Shut your fucking trap you little brat."

Tiburon looked towards the gate to see Hidan glaring at him. The others were standing around him, their attention on Alice who merely waved in their direction and went straight back to her discussion.

"Hey Hidan-oji." Tiburon waved. Hidan scoffed and shook his head but didn't comment as Sanaa ran by him.

"Tibby! Cielo!" Sanaa cheered. She ran towards them and tackled Tiburon. He caught her skillfully and hugged her back. Cielo took on her hug when she moved onto him like a professional and he patted her head boredly.

"I missed you guys!" Sanaa told them. "I'm jealous that you two got to come here earlier. I tried to get Daddy and Sori-Danna to come sooner, but Sori-Danna refused." She huffed and crossed her arms. "I was _so _bored, yeah!"

Tiburon smirked at her. "We'll you're here now so chill." He shouldered her before doing the same to Cielo. "Wanna go explore?"

"We need to ask first." Sanaa told him.

"No we don't." Tiburon sighed. "Mom and Sori-Danna are having a sarcasm war right now." He pointed in their direction. Cielo and Sanaa looked around to see Alice and Sasori standing a foot from one another, both of them smirking and exchanging playful banter. Everyone else was watching with amusement, shock, disgust, or they wore a deadpan expression.

"They'll be here all night." Tiburon continued. "Let's go."

"I'm going to tell them anyways." Sanaa stated firmly.

"We'll wait for you, Sanaa." Cielo assured her. "Go ahead."

She smiled at him before running back to her parents. Tiburon sighed and shook his head.

Cielo raised his eyebrow at Tiburon, silently communicating.

Tiburon glanced at him. "When we were little, we were kidnapped because we left our parents' sights. She's been paranoid about it ever since. I don't blame her, but we're ninjas now. We can take care of ourselves. Not to mention, we're in Konoha."

"You can never be too careful." Cielo told Tiburon.

"You sound like my mom." Tiburon deadpanned.

Cielo chuckled. "Yes. I suppose she has rubbed off on me. I have heard her say that many times. However, your dad says I'm more like Sasori because I do not have as much of a temper as Alice."

Tiburon shrugged. "Either way, they're both ridiculous. Especially when they're together." He watched Sanaa jog back to them, a smile on her face. "Well?"

"They said we can go, but we have to take Sable and Ash with us." Sanaa told them. "And we have to be home before dark or Icy is going to come looking for us with Hidan-oji's scythe."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's go." He whistled. "Sable, come on."

Sable looked around from Akamaru and barked before galloping over to Tiburon. She licked his face and trotted after him when he began walking away. Cielo merely whistled quietly and patted his leg for Ash to follow after him quietly.

Sanaa skipped ahead, leading their threesome through the villages of Konoha. Tiburon and Cielo followed after her boredly, to her right and left respectively. Sable and Ash brought up the rear, inspecting things that caught their attention, only to hurry after their charges when they got too far away for comfort.

Sanaa giggled and added a spin into her skipping. "What do you guys want to do?" Both boys shrugged, causing her to huff. "Why are you guys so boring?"

They shrugged again. She growled and wheeled around, stomping down the street they were on. Tiburon and Cielo exchanged a look before smirking at each other.

"Hey kids."

All three kids looked around and smiled when they saw Yamato and Kakashi walking in their direction. "Hi Kakashi, hi Yamato." They greeted in unison. Sable darted forward to greet both men, much to Kakashi's amusement.

Kakashi rumpled Tiburon and Cielo's hair while Yamato patted Sanaa's head gently. "Where're your parents?"

Tiburon looked at Kakashi. "At the gate. Sanaa and the rest of the Akatsuki besides Leader, Konan, and Zetsu just got here. My mom and Sori-Danna are having a sarcasm battle right now so we're just wandering around."

Kakashi chuckled. "I'm eager to see this."

"What are you guys doing?" Sanaa asked, bouncing up and down. Ash sat beside her and watched her, his head following her as she bounced.

"We were just wandering around, looking for something to do." Yamato admitted. "But now we know Alice is in one of her moods, we're going to watch."

Cielo smirked. "She does cause quite a scene wherever she goes."

"That's the best part about her." Kakashi smiled.

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "She's crazy."

Yamato rumpled Tiburon's hair roughly. "You're turning out just like her, kiddo. Better watch what you say."

"That's okay, Yamato." Sanaa chirped. "Tibby's already crazy."

Tiburon glared at Sanaa, his Sharingan blazing. She yelped at the look and hid behind Cielo who raised his eyebrow when Tiburon turned his gaze to him. "I am not afraid of you, Tiburon."

Kakashi chuckled when Tiburon scoffed and turned fully to face Cielo challengingly. "Well we'll see you kids later." He elbowed Yamato. "Behave."

"Kay!" Sanaa said cheerfully since both Cielo and Tiburon were focused on each other. "Bye-bye!"

When Kakashi and Yamato disappeared, Sanaa returned her attention to her teammates. Tiburon's Sharingan was spinning, prepared to fight. Cielo's eyes were slowly shifting to reflect the darkening blue of the sky as he prepared to use his own techniques to defeat Tiburon.

He was indeed a carrier of his clan's Kekkei Genkai and Sasuke and Itachi were the perfect mentors for him to learn how to use it to its full potential. He had bested Tiburon a few times with it, when usually, Tiburon never lost.

Icy called it an Uchiha thing.

"Guys, we can't fight here." Sanaa told them seriously. "We'll break something."

"Yeah." Tiburon nodded. "I'm going to break his face." Sable, sensing Tiburon's desire to fight, turned her attention to Cielo and growled. She would never hurt him, but she would wrestle him.

"If you can manage it." Cielo said calmly. Ash, sitting beside his companion, hissed and growled at Sable, and his tail twitched.

There was a difference between Cielo and Tiburon. Cielo always kept his head while Tiburon lost his temper like his mother. If Tiburon ever learned to keep his emotions in check, his skill level would surpass his father's simply because he had more training with the Akatsuki than Itachi did by himself.

However, keeping his emotions in check was out of his reach.

"Oh trust me," Tiburon growled, "I'll manage it."

"Quit it." Sanaa huffed. She stomped around Cielo and stood in front of him. "Cielo, quit egging him on. Tibby, stop being a butthead."

Tiburon glared. "Move, Sanaa."

"No." She said firmly, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

Tiburon opened his mouth to comment before he noticed something. He straightened out of his striking stance and looked around the street, frowning when he noticed everyone was watching them.

His eyes narrowed when a few of them who had only been watching began whispering together as they met his gaze. A few groups had already been whispering before. He focused chakra in his ears to listen.

"It's an Uchiha… the son of Itachi isn't it?" A few whispered.

"He was raised by the Akatsuki, the ones who destroyed the village before the war." Others muttered. "… One of the last of his clan… I wonder if he knows that it's his father's fault."

Tiburon's eyes narrowed even further as the whispering got more and more personal. "Little brat's the spawn of a murderer and a freak. After living with the Akatsuki, he's probably a traitorous murderer like his father."

"Tibby?"

Tiburon's head snapped around and he glared at the speaker. "What?"

Sanaa flinched away from him at his hostility but didn't back down. "Are you okay? Your chakra started shifting strangely."

Cielo met Tiburon's gaze. "I can hear them too. Perhaps your parents will understand and explain."

Tiburon clicked his tongue in irritation and started walking down the street. Cielo and Sanaa exchanged a look, knowing Tiburon was in one of his moods and worrying for both his sake and whoever made him snap.

Sable growled in discomfort, disliking Tiburon's unease, and she walked beside him loyally, letting him know she was there for him. He pulled a hand from his pocket and rested it on her head, feeling slightly better by her closeness.

The three of them passed by the park and Sanaa paused when she saw a team of three Genin around their age sparring together playfully.

"Who are they?" Sanaa wondered, cocking her head to the side.

Cielo followed her gaze, stopping beside her and raised his eyebrow. "I believe that is Shikamaru's team of Kasai Yūhi, Kōri, and Ken Hyūga."

Sanaa smiled. "Wanna go say hi?"

"No." Tiburon said flatly.

"Don't be such a party pooper." Sanaa sighed. "Icy and Tachi aren't home yet so we have some time to kill. Let's go say hi."

"We'll be competing against them soon. Why make friends when we might have to kill them?" Tiburon wondered.

"It's better to have allies." Sanaa countered. She grabbed Cielo's hand. "Stay here if you want. Me and Cielo are going." Cielo patted his leg as Sanaa dragged him along, encouraging Ash to follow him.

Tiburon sighed as Sanaa pulled Cielo through the park to where the team of two boys and one girl were laughing together as they sparred. He rolled his eyes and trailed after them, knowing he was going to get hell if he didn't. Sable trotted along beside him, her ears perked curiously about the approaching kids.

The three kids stopped when a boy with white hair noticed them approaching. He grinned at them and waved his hand. "Yo!"

Sanaa beamed. "Hi! I'm Sanaa." She pulled Cielo to her side. "This is Cielo Oscuro." Glancing over her shoulder she smiled at seeing Tiburon already at her side. "And this is Tiburon Uchiha."

The white haired boy cocked his head to the side. "I'm Kōri." He gestured to the girl beside him who had peculiar red eyes and dark hair up in a ponytail. "This is Kasai Yūhi, and this," he gestured to the brunette with the Byakugan to his other side, "is Ken Hyūga."

"Nice to meet you." Sanaa said cheerfully. "Are you Shikamaru's team?"

"Yeah." Kasai nodded. "I've seen you three around here before. I'm guessing you're Sasuke-sensei's team since you guys didn't go to school with us."

Cielo nodded. "Indeed."

"I've never seen the Sharingan before…" Kōri mused, looking at Tiburon.

Tiburon's eyes narrowed. "Good."

Sanaa sighed. "Sorry, he's not always so mean. He's just in a bad mood."

"Shut up, Sanaa." Tiburon sighed.

"Oh how cute! You guys have a dog and a fox!" Kasai smiled.

Cielo glanced at Tiburon when he twitched. "Sable is actually a wolf." He patted the fox at his side. "This is Ash."

Sable's tail wagged happily at the attention.

"So, are you guys participating in the Chūnin exams?" Ken wondered.

Sanaa nodded. "Yep. Leader-sama said we had to, and Sasuke-sensei wanted us too as well."

"The only one who didn't was Alice." Cielo smirked.

"So… if you're an Uchiha…" Ken began, turning his attention to Tiburon. "Doesn't that mean you're related to Sasuke-sensei?"

Tiburon nodded. "Yes. He's my uncle. My dad is his older brother."

"Itachi Uchiha?" Ken asked.

"Yeah." Tiburon confirmed.

"Cool." The Hyūga stated. "I've never met him before, but everything I've heard is impressive."

Sanaa giggled. "Tachi is funny."

"That must mean you live with the Akatsuki and the Seer." Kōri pointed out.

"My mom's name is Alice." Tiburon retorted coldly.

Sanaa sighed and grabbed his hand. "It's okay, Tibby. They don't know her."

Tiburon closed his eyes and looked away.

Kasai raised her eyebrow. "Shikamaru said Sasuke-sensei acted the same way you do when he was our age. Maybe it's an Uchiha thing."

"Everything they do is an Uchiha thing." Cielo deadpanned. "They're a one of a kind clan."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm heading back. Kisa's chakra is flaring so that must be a sign to start heading home."

Sanaa cocked her head to the side. "Alright." She smiled at the three other Genin. "It was nice to meet you. Let's spar some time before the exams!"

"Sounds good." Kōri winked. "See you three."

Cielo dipped his head in farewell and motioned for Ash as he followed after Sanaa, Sable and Tiburon leading the way.

**First Person Alice!**

"What did the three of you do while you were out?" I asked, looking down at Tiburon and Cielo as I dished out plates for dinner.

Cielo shrugged. "Nothing really. We just wandered around, talking to Yamato and Kakashi for a little while, and then we met Shikamaru's Genin team."

I raised my eyebrow and looked at Sasuke. "Who is on that?"

"A Hyūga named Ken, apparently he's one of Hinata's cousins." Sasuke explained. "Kasai, the daughter of Kurenai Yūhi, and a boy named Kōri. He doesn't have any specific clan, but he was first in his class until Tiburon decided to graduate from there."

"I see." I mused. I looked down at Tiburon who was glaring at his food, poking it with his chopsticks. "Tibby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He grunted.

"Tiburon." I stressed.

He looked at me, his Sharingan activated. "I'm fine, Mom."

I sighed. "Alright, whatever. Be difficult like your uncle."

Sasuke glared at me.

"You two behaved, didn't you?" Itachi wondered, looking at our son/unofficially adopted son.

Both of them nodded. "Yes."

"Then what is this I hear about you two almost fighting in the middle of a crowded street?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

Both of them exchanged a look before looking away from him pointedly.

"Explain." Itachi grunted.

Cielo sighed. "We weren't really going to fight. It was just to get Sanaa riled up."

Tiburon glanced at his father. "Since when is it okay to listen to what Kakashi tells you?"

I snickered when Itachi sighed. "He has a point."

Kisame rumpled Tiburon's hair from across the table. "They why are you in a bad mood? Did Sanaa pull your hair?" He tugged on Tiburon's bangs.

Tiburon smacked Kisame's hand away. "No. I'm fine."

"Liar." Sasuke grunted as he took a drink of his tea.

Tiburon glared at him. "Shut up, Sasuke."

"Tiburon." Itachi scolded. "Don't be rude."

"Then tell him to leave me alone." Tiburon huffed.

I rolled my eyes. "Leave him alone. All of you eat your food. I'll get it out of him later."

Dinner passed by quickly and quietly. Tiburon didn't say a word for the duration of the meal and Cielo was relatively silent too. Sasuke, Itachi, Kisame, and I chatted together while Sable and Ash cuddled in the corner together like they do when Cielo and Tiburon aren't in bed and we're just sitting around.

When it was over, Cielo excused himself, taking Ash with him, saying he wanted to go and meditate. Sasuke left soon after, saying something about promising Naruto he would spar with him before he went to sleep.

Tiburon set down his chopsticks which he had been twirling between his fingers since Sasuke left and he looked at me. "Can I go?"

"No." I told him. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm fine." He sighed.

"That's bullshit and you know it, Tiburon." I countered. "You're acting like me when I'm pissed off. Now tell me."

He glared at the table. "Why do people look at me like I'm a wild animal?"

I blinked, confused by his question. "Who?"

"People in the village kept staring at me like I was a wild beast or something." Tiburon muttered.

Kisame grinned. "Because you act like one half the time."

Tiburon glared at him. "At least I don't look like one, Kisa."

"Tiburon." I barked. "That was mean. Don't be mean to Kisame. He's never done anything wrong to you. Kisame is beautiful and you will apologize to him for saying otherwise."  
>Tiburon sighed. "I was teasing, Mom. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, Kisa."<p>

Kisame waved him off. "I knew you were messing around. It doesn't bother me."

"Good." I crossed my arms. "Were you doing something that drew attention to you?"

"No." He said quietly. "They were also whispering things… They thought I couldn't hear them, but I could."

"What things?" I asked, ideas already spinning around in my mind.

"That I was probably a murderer because I was raised by the Akatsuki." He muttered.

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "Is that all? You shouldn't be bothered by something you know isn't true, Tiburon."

"That's not what bothered me." He admitted.

"Then what did?" Itachi asked. "What did they say to put you in such a foul mood?"

Tiburon glanced at Itachi and sighed. "That you were responsible for the Uchiha clan being wiped out."

It was like someone punched Itachi in the face. His knuckles cracked and he snapped plank of the table when he squeezed it. His eyes shut and he locked his jaw. His entire body tensed and it shook ever so slightly.

Tiburon took in his dad's movements. "From the way you're acting, I guess it's true?"

"No." I frowned. "Your father is not responsible for the massacre of the Uchiha clan." I looked at Tiburon and grabbed Itachi's hands, prying them from the table. "Konoha is." I paused. "Or was. The four responsible are dead now; Sasuke killed one himself while the other three died from different causes."

Tiburon looked at his dad. "Then why do you look so upset, Dad?"

Itachi met Tiburon's gaze. "Because I did wipe out the clan."

Tiburon's eyes narrowed. "Mom just said it wasn't your fault."

"It isn't his fault." I stressed. "Itachi was forced to massacre the clan, Tiburon. He was a member of ANBU and at the age of thirteen, he was forced by the highest council in Konoha to wipe out the Uchiha clan to protect Konoha from a rebellion that would destroy the village and, from there, cause a huge war. If he would have let someone else do it, Sasuke would not be here, and your father probably wouldn't either. And that means you wouldn't be here either." I sighed. "Itachi did something no one else could have done. He saved his brother, and his village from the Uchiha clan's superiority complex. They wanted power, and they would have risked the lives of thousands to get it."

Tiburon frowned. "How come you never told me this before?"

"We haven't told you because the memories of it still torment your dad every day." I told him. "Even though he should never be blamed by something he had little to no control over, he still scorns himself. Why do you think we came here early, Tiburon? The memories of this house are eating away at your dad's sanity even as we speak."

Tiburon scratched his nose. "… So… you guys told me Dad and Sasuke weren't on speaking terms for a long time… is that why?"

Itachi sighed. "I had planned, originally, for Sasuke to kill me as an act of revenge for the clan. However, I met your mother and I told Sasuke the truth because I couldn't leave her, nor bear to live any longer without my brother. I wanted Sasuke to kill me because of the guilt. I deserved it."

"No you didn't."

I glanced around to see Sasuke standing in the doorway. Itachi tensed.

"That scum Danzo did." Sasuke spat. "And I killed him. What's done is done. Those two counsel fools are dead now too. The Uchiha clan slate has been cleansed." He sat beside Tiburon and across from Itachi and I. "You're not responsible, Nii-san."

Itachi looked down, but no words came from him.

I sighed and looked at Tiburon. "Tiburon, your dad is the bravest man you will ever meet. And you should be proud to be related to him, and an Uchiha. Who cares what other people think? We love you and that's all that matters. People are shitty and I'd sooner blow up the world to rid it of them than try to save them."

"Because your mom is a crazy pyromaniac and a vicious misanthrope." Kisame said cheerfully, pulling on Tiburon's hair. "But seriously, Tibby. Itachi's my best friend for a reason. He's a good man and I challenge you to find a better one."

Itachi looked at Kisame. "You're being sentimental. Stop it."

"Shut up Grumpy." Kisame snapped.

Tiburon raised his eyebrow. "You guys are telling me this stuff like I don't already know it." He scoffed. "I don't care that dad killed people. He's a ninja, it's in his contract. I still love him and he's still the coolest guy ever. I was just mad you didn't tell me before."

I sighed and face-palmed. "He is me in miniature, male form."

* * *

><p><em>Meh.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **The Legend of Korra finale was... incredible.  
><em>

Answer: _Anything involving Itachi. I also love Pein's invasion._

**QotC: **_Favorite non-anime TV show?__  
><em>

_**WotC: **Bubble - burbuja. (This has nothing to do with the next chapter. My brother gave me a random word so I put it on here.)  
><em>

_Toodles.  
><em>


	38. Chapter 38

_And so the Chunin exams begin._

_Yeah... Don't expect a masterpiece here. I'm not that creative.  
><em>

_So, enjoy. Semi-important author's note down below.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Keep your heads as much as you can. Work together, and <em>never<em> listen to what another team or proctor tells you unless they have valid proof. You're my kids. You can handle anything, so don't back down either." I ordered with my hands on both Tiburon and Cielo's faces.

"Yes Mom." Tiburon sighed, giving me a deadpan expression. "We're not five. We can take care of ourselves."

"We will be fine, Alice." Cielo assured me.

I sighed. "I know, but I still worry. Don't trust anyone out there but yourselves and as soon as you can, make a password or something of the sort that only the three of you would possibly be able to know so you can make sure there are no imposters. Got it?"

"Yes." Cielo nodded.

"You kick all of those kids' asses, you two." I continued. "I don't care what's going on. You don't start any fights with people, but if someone starts one with you, you had better fucking finish it. Understand?"

Tiburon put his hands on either side of my face and pulled me closer so he could look me in the eye. "Mom. _Calm down._ We know."

I glared at him. "Shut up. You'll understand when you have kids."

"Whatever." He sighed. He released my head to hug me. "Love you."

"I love you too." I told him. "Be safe and take care of each other." I moved onto Cielo after releasing Tiburon and shared the same farewell with him. "And good luck. And if you can cheat without being caught, you cheat without being caught."

"Thank you." Cielo said with a tiny smile. "Come on Tiburon. Sasuke-sensei is waiting for us with Sanaa at the head of the compound."

Tiburon nodded. "See you Mom."

I watched them run off before glancing down at Sable and Ash who were by my side. "I'm going to die."

Sable licked my hand and howled lowly, her tail wagging.

I sighed. "Let's go find Itachi. Then we can head to the Hokage Tower."

**Third Person!**

Tiburon sighed as he walked into the building that would be holding the first of the three stages of the exam. According to his family, the first stage was a written exam. He wasn't worried about it. He was confident in his ability to answer any question and he was confident in his ability to use his Sharingan to cheat if he didn't know an answer.

He wasn't worried about Cielo. Cielo was more intelligent than he was when it came to book smarts, and Cielo's Kekkei Genkai would help him cheat without being caught. The only one he was concerned for was Sanaa. However, Sanaa told him not to worry about her and Cielo had smirked when she said that so he was sure they had thought of something.

"Who do you think is giving the exam?" Sanaa asked, bouncing between Tiburon and Cielo as they walked towards the room that contained the massing chakras of the other participants.

"Mom said Ibiki. She said the past is repeating itself so we'll see." Tiburon shrugged. "I have no idea what she meant by that but who knows."

Cielo opened the door to the waiting room and held it open for his team to go in first. "We will have no trouble regardless of who is giving the exam."

Sanaa beamed, skipping into the room. "Duh! Thanks Cielo."

"No problem." He said quietly. "Go ahead, Tiburon. And remember, hide your Sharingan until you need it. Keep the element of surprise."

Tiburon dipped his head and entered the room before his stoic friend. He looked around the room and raised his eyebrow at the killing intent that filled the room. "Yikes."

"Hey Kōri!" Sanaa waved, gaining the attention of the white haired boy and his team. They waved back and meandered their way over to Sasuke's Genin team.

"Hey there Sanaa. Hey Tiburon and Cielo." Kōri greeted. "It's good to see you three made it."

"Yeah." Tiburon nodded, his hands in the pockets of his hooded jacket. "Do you know who the first exam proctor is?"

"Not a clue." Kasai shrugged. "Any ideas?"

"I'm guessing Ibiki." Tiburon admitted.

"What about me?"

All six kids looked around to see the scarred face of the head of the T&I Force. Tiburon scoffed quietly while Sanaa beamed at him and Cielo looked over him quietly.

"I was guessing you were going to be the exam proctor for the written test." Tiburon explained boredly.

"You're Alice's boy aren't you?" Ibiki asked.

Tiburon nodded. "Yep."

"That explains a lot." He said with a sigh.

"You have no idea." Cielo scoffed.

Ibiki smirked down at him before a frown erupted on his face and he looked over the room. "Alright maggots! Listen up! I want all of you to come up here and get a number. You will be seated accordingly by your number for the written portion of the exam!" He glared over the occupants of the room before his frown deepened. "You have two minutes!"

The room exploded with movement as everyone rushed forward to get a number. Tiburon simply reached around Ibiki and grabbed six numbers before handing them out to his team and Kōri's team. He inspected his paper boredly which had a thick **16** on it.

"What number are you?" Sanaa asked.

"Sixteen." He admitted. "You?"

"I'm two." She chirped. "Cielo?"

Cielo showed them his card. "Thirty."

Kōri, Kasai, and Ken were numbered forty, twenty-one, and eight respectively. Now that they had their numbers, they went to their seats and sat down, looking over the others in the room as they hurried to obey Ibiki.

"Alright." Ibiki growled when everyone was seated. "The rules of this test are very simple. There are nine questions on the test which you have fifty minutes to complete. At the final ten minutes of the hour, I will give you the tenth question. The last question will make or break you regardless of how well you do with the other nine questions. There will be no cheating, hence the Chūnin placed around the room. They will be watching all of you carefully and be monitoring your cheating. If you are caught cheating three times, you will be thrown out and your entire team will fail and you'll be sent out to try again next year." He looked around. "Any questions."

"Yeah, how the hell are we supposed to answer these questions if you haven't given any of us a pencil?" Tiburon asked, raising his hand. "I'm not writing my answers in blood."

Ibiki glared at him. "Who else doesn't have a pencil?"

Everyone raised their hands.

"Why are none of you prepared?" Ibiki demanded.

Sanaa snickered. "We weren't told to bring one."

Ibiki handed a box of pencils to one of the Chūnin who began passing them out. He sighed. "Any other questions?"

Tiburon raised his hand again.

"What do you want, Uchiha?" Ibiki sighed.

Tiburon lowered his hand and smirked a bit. "What language are we supposed to be writing in?"

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" He asked, glaring at people who stared at him. "I know three languages. Is that a crime?"

"Japanese." Ibiki sighed.

"Cool." Tiburon nodded. "I'm done now."

"Alright, now that everyone is done…" He sighed when Sanaa raised her hand. "What?"

"I have to use the little girls' room." Sanaa said with a smile.

Ibiki stared at her. "Really?"

She nodded, still smiling.

"Does anyone else have to use the bathroom?" He wondered.

Twenty people raised their hands.

"Go then. You have three minutes." Ibiki sighed.

After a brief potty break…

"Anything else before we get started?" Ibiki demanded.

No one moved.

"Alright. Turn your tests over and begin." He barked.

Tiburon chuckled to himself as he turned his paper over. He read the first question and smirked to himself. It was a math problem about the trajectory of a kunai. Kakuzu and Sasori were extremely advanced in math and had taught the three of them countless equations and strategies. Not to mention, Sanaa's mother was fairly decent at some things, and this sort of math was her area of expertise.

He wasn't even sure if he needed to activate his Sharingan to cheat.

And all the while, people were caught cheating and he smirked to himself with amusement while teams began dropping out like flies.

Meanwhile…

Sanaa hummed quietly to herself as she drew a smiley face and a heart beside her name before looking at the first question. She read over it and paused briefly before closing her eyes and flipping her hair over her right shoulder.

Two seats behind her, Cielo chuckled to himself and focused his chakra into a fine line before sending it into the back of Sanaa's neck. He then stemmed an image into her eyes, cutting off her vision and replacing it with his own as he showed her the answer to the first, second and third questions since he had already completed them while she was doodling.

Sanaa smiled when Cielo released her and she rubbed her hands together before getting started. She had just finished the third question when Cielo fed the answers to the last few questions to her.

Cielo released Sanaa a few moments later and glanced over to the other side of the room to see Tiburon drawing boredly on the back of his paper. He smirked and shook his head before turning his paper over boredly to wait out the rest of the twenty minutes of the test until the tenth question.

Sanaa flipped her paper over and began drawing a picture. She was so intent on the picture, she didn't notice Ibiki coming over to her desk, since she sat in the front row, and watching her draw.

He raised his eyebrow as she drew, impressed by her skill. He knew her father proclaimed himself an artist, but he was impressed by a nine-year-old's skill in drawing.

She was drawing a picture of each of the Akatsuki members, small enough so she could fit all of them doing something, but large enough to add in detail. She had just finished drawing Akasuna no Sasori with one of his puppets when the timer at the front of the room when off.

He glanced over his shoulder as the timer rang through the room. "Alright, pencils down!"

Everyone set their pencils down and looked up at him as he walked back to the center of the front of the room to shut off the timer and look over the participants. "Only 25 teams remain…" He crossed his arms and smirked. "Now for the tenth and final question. If anyone would like to pull out now, you may."

No one moved.

"No one? No one wants to leave even if this question will be the deciding factor if you pass or not?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. "Know that if you get this question wrong, not only will you fail, you will also be stuck as a Genin for the rest of your career."

Gasps sounded throughout the room.

"This is your last chance to back out. Either stay and risk failing, or back out and try again another time." Ibiki growled.

Hands shot up all over the room and Tiburon watched teams leave in threes. He raised his eyebrow and looked over his team. Cielo looked bored, and Sanaa had picked up her pencil again and was drawing.

"Anyone else?" Ibiki asked as he looked over the eighteen remaining teams. When no one moved he raised his eyebrow. "Last call."

"Well that is just sad." Kōri mused.

Cielo glanced at him and lifted an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Obviously this question is just a ploy. There is no way Konoha could force Genin from other villages to stay Genin forever. Konoha doesn't have that sort of authority. Besides, I'd love to see him try and keep me a Genin forever. It's rather pathetic to see all of these people quit." Kōri explained.

Cielo smirked. "True."

"Can we just move on?" Tiburon asked with a sigh. "Obviously no one else is going."

Ibiki glared at Tiburon before looking over the others. "Alright. The tenth question is…"

He paused for dramatic effect.

"Nonexistent." He finished.

Confused looks broke out over almost every face.

Kōri smirked. "Called it."

"There never was a tenth question." Ibiki continued before people could start an uproar. "This test was never about what you knew, it was to test your resolve and willingness to take risks. All of you passed and will now proceed to the second stage of the exam." He shooed them away. "Head to the Forest of Death. The next stage of the exam starts in two hours. Your proctor will meet you there."

"Finally!" Sanaa cheered, drawing everyone's attention.

Everyone looked at her.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Hidan-oji's hair is always a pain in the butt to draw, but I finally got it yeah!" She held it up as proof. "See?"

Tiburon face-palmed. "Come on, Sanaa. It's time to go."

"Okay!" She chirped. She set her paper down and skipped out of the room.

Ibiki stared after them before shaking his head. "Kids." He went about the room, collecting the tests, looking over the answers to see who answered and who didn't and looking at the snide notes the participants wrote. He paused when he got to Tiburon's seat which was the last of the first section.

He picked up Tiburon's paper, nodding at all of the correct answers, but rolling his eyes at the notes.

_I'm bored._

_ This test sucks._

_ The guy next to me smells like crap and I swear he picked his nose and ate his booger. That's fucking gross, dude._

_ BORED!_

A few of the notes stemmed off into different languages that Ibiki couldn't understand, before he flipped over the test and sighed.

_My mom said to tell you Hi. And she told me to sing you a song, but I refuse. So, I'll write you the lyrics._

That note was followed by the Masochism Tango that Alice had sang so long ago when she was being tortured by Konoha. Beneath that there was another note, one that made Ibiki pale just a little.

_My uncles and dad said if they see you while we're here, they were going to kill you. Something about payback for my mom or something. Just thought I'd warn you. Kisame Hoshigaki, Hidan, Akasuna no Sasori, and my dad seemed pretty adamant about it._

_So watch out._

* * *

><p><em>Tibby makes me laugh.<br>_

_**Fun Fact: **Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.  
><em>

Answer: _Favorite non-anime TV show... Probably the Office or The Big Bang Theory. I adore Sheldon._

**QotC: **_If you were handcuffed to a member of the Akatsuki for a day, who would you want it to be, what would you do, and why would you pick that person/do those things?__  
><em>

_**WotC: **Forest - Bosque  
><em>

_Alright, time for author's note.  
><em>

_1. Get used to the POV switching from first person Alice a lot. As the kids grow, it will probably be switching to third person rather often to focus on them when Alice isn't around.  
><em>

_2. My updating schedule which is typically Tuesdays and Saturdays is probably going to change. My boss likes to schedule me from open to close on Saturdays nowadays so... yeah. So, I have a question for all of you. Would you rather me make a new schedule, or try something new? One of my friends, who is a veteran on the site, has suggested I update based on number of reviews per chapter. Now, see, I'm not a big fan of this because I'm not a review whore. But, it could potentially have me updating more often because you guys are nothing short of fucking amazing.  
>It's all up to you guys though, so tell me what you think in a review or something and I'll go for the majority.<br>_

_Bye~  
><em>


	39. Chapter 39

_Second round begins._

_I'm posting this as a Happy Birthday to myself and Alice. :)  
><em>

_I don't own Naruto  
><em>

* * *

><p>"I'm so pumped for the next test." Kōri grinned.<p>

"Me too!" Sanaa beamed.

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "We're going to the Forest of Death. Sanaa, you have a heart attack when you see a bug that isn't a spider or a butterfly."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Party pooper!"

Tiburon sighed and glanced at Cielo when he chuckled quietly. "What are you laughing at?"

"She is resilient and perpetually optimistic. The sooner you realize this and stop being pessimistic towards her, the less time you will spend sighing and rolling your eyes." Cielo smirked.

"No one asked you, Cielo." Tiburon growled.

Cielo raised his eyebrow. "Actually, you did."

Sanaa rubbed her head. "So many big words, Cielo…"

"Alice made me write out a dictionary with Tiburon when he pissed her off once by cussing up a storm. She caught me cussing with him." Cielo sighed. "Worst punishment ever."

"My hand _still_ hurts." Tiburon exaggerated. "My mom had to look for the biggest dictionary in the base for us to copy too. That thing had over 2,000 pages. And she checked us for accuracy."

Kōri chuckled. "Your mom sounds scary."

Tiburon looked at him. "You have no clue."

"You brats shut up!" Anko shouted. Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa knew the insane Jōnin personally. Alice and Kathryn had always been a fan of her, and Anko and Alice spent many hours driving other people crazy and entertaining each other.

So Anko knew the trio well. She, Tiburon, and Itachi had dango runs together, courtesy of Alice.

"Hey Anko!" Sanaa waved.

Anko winked at her, always having a soft spot for the little blond. "Hey kid." She looked over the other teams and smirked. "You brats shut up and come in here so I can tell you what the next test is going to be like!"

When everyone stopped talking, she nodded in approval.

"The second stage of the exam will be held here in the Forest of Death." She explained, throwing her thumb in the direction of the deadly training field. "There are two types of scrolls. A Heaven scroll," she held up a white scroll. "And an Earth scroll," she held up a black scroll. "Each team will be given one of these scrolls and your goal is to get the other scroll and make it to the Tower in the center of the training grounds within the time limit of five days. Anything goes during this test, besides the single and most important rule." She looked over everyone and narrowed her eyes threateningly. "Do _not_ open your scrolls until you reach the Tower. Got it?"

When everyone nodded, she grinned cheekily. "Good! Now you maggots line up here and fill out these waiver things! That way, if and when you die in here, I don't have to fill out a shitload of paper work." She cackled. "Plus, we need your names because some of the spectators are taking bets on which of you brats are gonna win and which of you are going to die because it is inevitable that some of you will die."

"Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to bet."

Anko grinned while Tiburon face-palmed. "Alice!"

"Hey Anko." Alice smirked, walking over to the insane woman with Hidan and Kakuzu on either side of her as well as Sable.

"Hi Icy!" Sanaa waved. "Hi Kuzu-oji and Hidan-oji!" She grinned when Sable tackled her. "Hi Sable!"

Alice smiled at her while Hidan gave her a grin and Kakuzu merely grunted. She turned her attention to Anko. "If my kids get hurt, I'll be sure to send you every inch of paperwork necessary."

Anko laughed. "Sure sure. What are you doing here?"

Alice shrugged. "Hell if I know. Tsunade asked me to come here and give you this." She handed Anko a scroll. "Not to mention, I intend on waiting at the Tower with a few of these idiots just in case our help is necessary or something."

"What help?" Anko wondered.

"Sasori's on poison control, but he'll be here later." Alice admitted. "I'm here just in case I'm needed to see something the cameras can't catch and so on."

"Ah." Anko nodded. "Well alright." She looked over the participants before pointing to a covered stand. "Teams will be called up to this tent to get their scrolls. Wait for your teams to be called."

"Right, well we're going to head to the Tower." Alice shrugged. She looked around and pointed at Tiburon. "I saw what you wrote on your test, Tiburon. You're in trouble for that. Writing curse words is just as bad as saying them."

Tiburon paled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Whoops…"

Alice shook her head at him before looking at Hidan and Kakuzu. "Let's go you two. I want to get there before the brats are sent in. Sable, come."

"Sounds fucking good, bitch." Hidan grunted when Sable joined them again. He picked Alice up bridal style. "Let's go, shithead."

Kakuzu swatted the back of Hidan's head harshly but followed him nonetheless into the darkness of the massive forest before them.

Tiburon sighed. "She's so difficult."

Kōri raised his eyebrow from beside Sanaa. "Was that your mom?"

"Unfortunately." Tiburon deadpanned.

"Who were the other two?" Kasai wondered.

Sanaa smiled at her. "Hidan-oji and Kuzu-oji."

Cielo crossed his arms. "Their names are Hidan and Kakuzu. They are partners in the Akatsuki. They're also widely known as the Zombie Combo because it's nearly impossible to kill them."

"Interesting…" Ken mused. "They don't seem very friendly."

"They're not." Tiburon sighed. "Hidan-oji is a violent Jashinist who swears at everything and wants to sacrifice anyone who doesn't follow his faith. Kuzu-oji is a greedy, temperamental man who cares for nothing but his money."

"Why do you call them oji then?" Kōri asked.

Sanaa grinned. "Because Hidan-oji and Kuzu-oji are our non-biological uncles. They helped our parents raise us and they take care of us. They might not be friendly, but Hidan-oji and Kuzu-oji love us."

"Sometimes." Tiburon added with a smirk.

"Come on you two." Cielo interrupted. "It's our turn."

The trio walked forward and into the tent. There, they saw Kotetsu and Izumo along with a nameless Chūnin sitting there with a number of black and white scrolls.

"Hey kids." Kotetsu smiled.

"Hi Kotetsu." Sanaa chirped. "Hi Izumo."

Izumo simply smiled at her as he accepted the wavier forms from Tiburon. Kotetsu then grabbed a black Earth scroll and handed it to Tiburon. "Keep this hidden. You don't want any of the other teams to know what scroll you have, or which one of you has it."

Tiburon nodded and took the scroll. "Cielo, you carry it. You can hide it best in your thick as hell coat. Not to mention, everyone is going to expect me to have it."

"True." Cielo mused, accepting the scroll.

The other two waited for Cielo to hide the scroll in the thick, black, hooded trench coat he wore over his gray Shinobi clothing. Once it was hidden away, the trio left the tent and followed the directions to their entrance gate.

It didn't take long, seeing as their team was one of the last few to be called. Soon enough, Anko was shouting out the purpose of the test again before she raised a whistle to her lips. When the whistle screamed, the gates shot open and every team in the vicinity rocketed inside the gate.

The trio fell into a defensive formation with Tiburon at the rear, Sanaa in the middle, and Cielo at the front. Sanaa was the most important member of their team. She was the medic, but also the most vulnerable because her Kekkei Genkai had yet to awaken.

"So what is the plan?" Cielo asked quietly, glancing back over his shoulder as they slowed their pace.

Tiburon shrugged. "Head to the tower, wait for some teams, take their scrolls, win." He grinned. "Time to make some traps."

Sanaa groaned. "I know that look. Tibby, don't kill anyone."

Tiburon smirked. "I do what I have to."

Cielo sighed. "Let's just get this test over with. I don't look forward to sleeping out here for longer than necessary." He glanced at Sanaa. "And I know Sanaa doesn't either."

"I'll be fine." She pouted.

"Whatever." Tiburon said dismissively. "We're getting nowhere doing this. Let's find a team, snag their scroll, whatever color it might be, and get to the tower."

Cielo raised his eyebrow. "Are we relying on stealth, or skill?"

"How about both?" Tiburon asked. "First team we have, you can use your Kekkei Genkai on them, I'll search them for their scroll, and then we'll go."

Cielo nodded. "Sounds good."

Sanaa raised her hand. "What about me?"

Tiburon threw an arm over her shoulders. "You'll be protecting Cielo and watching our perimeter. Cielo's Kekkei Genkai requires a lot of concentration so he can't exactly watch his own back. That's where you come in. With your earth affinity, you're the most skilled at tracking people traveling over the ground so you can sense them coming. Kay?"

She nodded. "Kay."

"Let's go." Cielo concluded.

Taking off silently, the team resumed their formation, all three of them keeping their guard up and their senses peeled in case an enemy team was either aiming to attack them, or was in the area.

As they traveled, it started to get darker and darker. Tiburon was silently getting annoyed that they hadn't come across any teams for their first night so he assumed they were going to have to make camp without fighting anyone.

He wasn't okay with that.

However, just as he was about to ask his team what they wanted to do, a chakra signature flared far off to his right. He stopped dead in his tracks, silently signaling to his team. They returned to him on the branch he was perched on.

"I sense other chakra." Tiburon told them quietly. "It's this way." He pointed to his right. "It's stationary, so I assume they're making camp."

"They are." Cielo confirmed. "I can see their fire and smell the smoke. Hopefully we're the only team to notice."

"I don't sense any other chakra signatures. Even if they were trying to conceal themselves, there's always a sliver of chakra that is still detectable." Tiburon stated. "Sanaa?"

Sanaa had dropped to the forest floor and landed silently on the balls of her feet. She closed her eyes and put her palms on the ground, feeding her chakra into the earth. After a moment, she glanced up at them and shook her head.

"We're alone. The closest team besides the one up ahead is about a mile away, upwind of us." Sanaa said quietly. "We're safe to go ahead."

Tiburon grinned and dropped down beside his blond friend. "Good work, Sanaa."

She beamed at his praise. "Come on." She grabbed his hand and began pulling him silently through the brush. Cielo followed them from the trees, hoping for a more objective view of the enemy camp so he could see all of his targets.

As expected, there were only three of them. They were sitting around a camp fire together, talking amongst themselves a little louder than they should have been. From their forehead protectors, they were recognizable as Suna genin.

Sanaa released Tiburon when Cielo stopped in the tree a few yards from the camp. Tiburon slunk away from his teammates silently, heading towards his position while Sanaa took a defensive position beneath the tree Cielo perched on.

Cielo exhaled deeply, being sure to keep quiet as he harnessed his chakra. His eyes shifted to black to reflect the dark night sky as he called upon his bloodline. He extended his chakra towards the enemy team and smirked to himself when he felt all of their consciousnesses under his control.

Carefully, he began shutting off their senses and feeding them images to distract them from his teammate.

Tiburon looked up from his hiding spot, waiting for Cielo's signal. The smirk that crossed his friend's face was what he had been waiting for. Swiftly and quietly, Tiburon snuck into the camp, his Sharingan whirling just in case something went amiss.

He rummaged through every pack, stealing anything and everything that might help his team in the long run. After combing through all of their bags, he searched the genin themselves. Finally, he found an Earth scroll hidden in the large pouch of the female member of their team.

Smirking to himself, he took it, fit it into his hoodie and left the camp. He motioned for Sanaa to start heading out, before he ran up the tree to get Cielo. He grabbed his teammate's arm. And grinned. "Got it, Cielo. Let's go."

Cielo glanced at him absently before nodding. "I'll release them when we're far enough. Hurry, because it costs more chakra the longer the distance."

Tiburon rolled his eyes and grabbed his teammate. He threw Cielo over his shoulder before taking off after Sanaa. Cielo protested quietly but when Tiburon let him go a few minutes later, all he did was glare at his red eyed teammate.

"That was not necessary." Cielo said smoothly, smoothing out his clothing.

"Whatever." Tiburon shrugged. "I did you a favor. It's easier for you to focus on your technique when you aren't worried about jumping through trees."

Cielo sighed. "Fine." He crossed his arms. "Did you get their scroll?"

Tiburon waved the stolen Earth scroll boredly. "Same as ours." He tossed it to Sanaa. "You carry it. You're probably the best one here at elusion."

"Only because you always chase me!" She whined.

"I meant it as a compliment." Tiburon sighed. "Sori-Danna and Dei beat elusion and evasive tactics into your head to keep you from getting hurt. You're a medic ninja so it's good they taught you that. Meanwhile, Kisa and my dad beat offensive, hand to hand combat into my head. Plus, my mom told me that if I didn't protect you, she'd beat me."

Cielo smirked. "How very like Alice…" He shrugged. "I am efficient with both."

"Shut up, Cielo. I'm the brute force, Sanaa is the long distance support, and you're…" Tiburon began.

"All around awesome." Cielo concluded. "Yes, I know."

Tiburon glared while Sanaa giggled. "I hate you. I was going to say a mid-range fighter that backs me up and protects Sanaa."

Cielo smirked and patted Tiburon's shoulder. "Let's find camp."

"You're right." Tiburon nodded. "I'll keep first watch and set up some traps. This thicket is as good of a place as any."

Sanaa skipped over to a thick tree with a hallowed trunk. "Dibs."

Cielo chuckled lightly when Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Let's set up camp, Sanaa. No fires. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves like that moronic team we just robbed."

Sanaa nodded and stuffed everyone's packs inside the tree while Tiburon set up a number of traps around the tree, aiming to protect their scrolls and belongings as well as Sanaa who he knew would be sleeping there. He then scoured the outer perimeter of their campsite, setting up small traps to first warn him of any approaching threats. He then followed up the warning traps with snares and deadly, lethal traps to capture, incapacitate, and/or kill any enemies who made it past the outer perimeter.

"Done?" Cielo wondered from his spot under a large root of the tree Sanaa was curled up in. They had found spots that, not only were positioned for defensive reasons, but also that concealed their presence.

Tiburon dropped down from the tree he had been rigging with snares. "Yeah." He glanced over the camp, his eyes lingering on Sanaa for a moment. "Unless they burrow through the ground, they won't come within fifty yards of this camp without me knowing."

Sanaa smiled. "You're so good at traps, Tibby."

He shrugged and sat down against the tree she was sleeping in. "Someone needs to be." He glanced at her. "We can't have someone disturbing Cielo's beauty sleep." He smirked. "Jashin knows he needs it."

Sanaa giggled. "Tibby, that's mean. Cielo is very cute."

"If they were to disturb your sleep, you'd set the forest on fire in a fit of anger." Cielo said absently, unaffected by the playful insult. "Thank you, Sanaa. Your compliment is appreciated and returned."

She smiled at him. "You're welcome and thanks." She looked at Tiburon. "He's right you know, about you being mean when you wake up."

Tiburon shrugged. "I like my sleep." He rested his head against the trunk of the tree. "Go to sleep you two. I'll wake you up when it's your turn to keep watch, Cielo."

Cielo nodded. "Fair enough."

Silence ensued throughout the camp and soon enough, Cielo and Sanaa drifted off to sleep. Tiburon stayed awake throughout the night, the screams that rang through the night keeping any hint of fatigue away.

**First Person Kathryn!**

"Hey Kat…" Alice mused as she lounged on the couch in the observation room inside the tower thingy. Her head was in Itachi's lap and her feet were in Kisame's. Dei, Sasuke, and Danna were sitting in recliners around the coffee table while Kakuzu and Hidan sat on a different couch with Sable and Ash in between them.

"What?" I asked, spinning around in the spiny chair to look at her.

"I feel like we're watching a less intense version of the Hunger Games." She stated.

I blinked. "I never thought about it like that."

"The hell are you two blabbering about?" Hidan grunted.

Alice looked at him. "It's a trilogy from our world about 24 kids from different districts being forced to fight to the death by the government."

Itachi blinked. "That sounds inappropriate."

Alice shrugged. "I've read worse."

"That is a good comparison though…" Danna agreed. "Though, no one is really fighting to the death here."

"But there are chances kids will die." Kakuzu pointed out.

Hidan shrugged. "If it's not our kids, I really couldn't give a shit less."

All of the present former criminals nodded. "Here here."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>It's my 18th birthday today._

Answer: _Itachi because he's my favorite character and he's fucking sexy. We would do explicit things that I will not go into detail about and we would do those things because he's fucking gorgeous._

**QotC: **_What is your favorite thing about Naruto(the show)? The characters? The jutsu? The storyline?__  
><em>

_**WotC: **Gracias - thank you.  
><em>

_Well, most of you voted for quicker updates/reviews. So, I'll set a goal of 20 reviews per chapter. That should be easy for you guys because most of the time, I get beyond that from you lovely people.  
><em>

_You're all amazing and I love you. Have a great day/life/night/whatever.  
><em>

_Adios  
><em>


	40. Chapter 40

_Good job guys. :)_

_Here is Chapter 40.  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"You tired, Tibby?" Sanaa wondered, glancing at her silent friend as he stared at the stream they were taking a break by. They hadn't run across any more teams, but they did have to fight off a horde of giant spiders and then a number of very hungry and very fast snakes.<p>

Tiburon glanced at her, cupping up some water in his hands to wash the blood off of his face. "Nah. I'm used to lack of sleep. It will take more than one night of no sleep to affect me."

"Well tonight, Sanaa and I will be taking all the shifts." Cielo told him, his gaze focused on the forest behind them, keeping watch. "That way, you can sleep."

Tiburon shrugged as he filled up his canteen. "Alright." He glanced at Sanaa. "Did you hear anything last night?"

"I woke up once because of a scream." She said quietly.

Tiburon nodded and ran a hand through his bangs. "One of my traps caught a wounded straggler. He was dead when I went to check. I think the rest of his team was either dead, or they left him behind. Either way, he didn't have a scroll."

Cielo glanced at Tiburon. "How did he die? And how was he wounded?"

"He had a bunch of cloth wrapped around his thigh, so I'm guessing someone stabbed his leg and he tried to bandage it. He died from the giant sharpened spike I had set up to catch enemies. It went straight into his chest." Tiburon explained.

Sanaa shuddered. "Poor guy…"

Tiburon glanced at her. "It's alright, Sanaa. It was quick. He was bound to die anyways. The wound on his leg slashed through a vital artery. He would have bled out at some point during the night."

She wrapped her arms around her stomach and sighed sadly. "I don't like hurting people."

"You didn't." Tiburon told her. "I did. Leave the violence to me."

"Kay." She said quietly.

"We have lingered here for too long." Cielo concluded. "We need to find our scroll before we can advance. And I for one would like to find it soon. If I have to deal with another swarm of giant spiders, I'm going to bring the whole forest down."

Tiburon grinned. "Are you afraid of a little spider, Cielo?"

"No. I'm only afraid of the giant ones with pinchers that are twice my size." He deadpanned. "If I remember correctly, you screamed when they ran after us."

"So did you." Tiburon stated. "Like a girl."

Sanaa sighed when Cielo made to retaliate. "Stop it you two. Let's go."

"Fine." They said in unison, looking away from each other.

With Sanaa's mediating, the trio set out once more, heading towards the tower, and hoping to come across another team with the scroll they needed.

They didn't travel for long before they ran across another team.

They had been running along the forest floor when suddenly Cielo called for a halt. Tiburon pushed Sanaa behind him and launched an explosive tag towards the tree line after exchanging a glance with Cielo. It exploded, causing a chain reaction of a number of traps.

When the smoke cleaned, a team of Kumo genin rushed out of the trees.

"Finally!" A large boy with flaming red hair barked as his team fell into a defensive formation behind him. Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa all fell into stances, preparing to fight and kill if necessary.

"Finally what?" The girl to his right asked.

"I've wanted to fight the famous Uchiha." The redhead jeered.

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "What scroll do you have? Because if you don't have the one we're looking for, I'm not wasting my time. I'm in a bad mood."

"We have an Earth scroll." The brown haired boy behind the redhead admitted. "What about you?"

"Earth." Tiburon stated. "You're wasting my time."

"No." The redhead growled. "I've been hunting for you since this round started. I've heard of the Sharingan and I bet you're a novice at it."

Tiburon sighed. "You're not worthy of my bloodline. I can kill you without using it." He glanced at Cielo whose eyes were slowly growing lighter to reflect the sky above them. He smirked and tilted his head to the side. "Move on."

"Did you hear me?" The redhead snarled. "I'll fight you whether you like it or not!"

Tiburon stared at him. "Allow me to turn on the part of my brain that gives a shit."

The redhead glowered with an angry growl.

Tiburon sighed. "If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"Fight me!" He roared. "Or I'll kill you."

"Okay, okay." Tiburon said dismissively. "I'll fight you but it'll only be one on one." Tiburon raised his eyebrow. "Just you and me. That okay?"

He nodded. "Good."

Tiburon glanced at his team. "Watch out guys. This idiot wants to get his ass handed to him."

Sanaa nodded and grabbed Cielo's arm, emerging out from behind Tiburon and pulling Cielo out of the way since he was focused on his enemies.

"She's cute." The redhead pointed out. "How about we make a little wager?"

"I will never agree to anything that involves you touching her." Tiburon snapped, his Sharingan whirling as his temper began to rise. "I'd sooner rip your eyes out and force your teammates to eat them then let you so much as poke her."

The redhead scoffed. "Is that so?"

"Yes it's so." Tiburon growled. "_I_ am your opponent and _we_ will fight. If I win, you leave me and my team alone and we'll leave you alone to fight another battle. If you win, you can have our scroll to torment another team with."

"Fine." He grunted. He fell into a stance. "I've been waiting for this."

"Your move." Tiburon said calmly.

The redhead's hands shot forward and he flew through a number of hand signs. Tiburon reacted instinctively and copied him, waving his own signs, finishing first, and shooting a fireball at the Kumo-nin.

The redhead was forced to abandon his jutsu in order to avoid the massive ball of fire that rocketed towards him. He gasped when his cloak ignited from the flames and he quickly discarded it to avoid getting burnt.

"You're lucky, brat." He snarled, glaring at Tiburon, only to realize he wasn't there.

"It's not luck." Tiburon said from behind him. "It's skill." He slammed his fist into the back of his enemy's head smirking when the redhead staggered and blinked violently, trying to fight off the dizziness.

Tiburon, who had used the distraction of his fireball and the lightheadedness of his opponent to his advantage, finished the last stage of his giant trap to ensnare the redhead. "I'm nine years old, and I'm handing you your own ass on a silver platter."

"Don't get cocky!" He shouted, swinging towards Tiburon.

Tiburon dodged his blow at the last second, having not expected him to recover so quickly. He retaliated and kicked him in the small of his back, sending him towards the center of the clearing.

The redhead glared at Tiburon and flew through a number of hand signs while Tiburon went through his own. Lightning crackled in the redhead's hand before he shot it from his fingers at Tiburon.

Tiburon avoided it, thanks to his speed and his Kekkei Genkai, before slamming his hand on the ground. "Shark bomb!"

A massive shark formed of water flew towards the redhead. He managed to avoid it, but he didn't avoid getting drenched when the bomb exploded not too far from him. He shot more lightning at Tiburon, only for his own attack to shock him as Tiburon dodged it once again.

Growling angrily, he twisted around and shot lighting off to the side, aiming straight for Sanaa and Cielo. "Dodge this!"

Tiburon's eyes widened and he dropped the kunai in his hand.

Sanaa gasped and shoved a still concentrating Cielo out of the way. The lightning hit her in the gut, sending her off her feet. She screamed in pain, gaining the attention of her blue eyed teammate.

Tiburon froze as he watched Sanaa get knocked off her feet and slam into a tree. His entire body rocked with anger before he turned his gaze to the villain who dared to hurt Sanaa. He picked up the kunai and threw it at the trigger of his trap.

Wires from all around the area snagged the redhead and pinned his hands and legs to his sides and together. He waited for his opponent to drop to the ground before he shot forward. His Sharingan whirled angrily as he drew back his fist and slammed it into the redhead's face.

He didn't stop as he dug his knee into the redhead's clavicle. He continued driving his fists into his enemy's face, not caring that he was splattering blood everywhere, or even when the redhead lost consciousness.

Cielo checked over Sanaa and sighed with relief when he realized she was still breathing and didn't have any internal damage. He patted her face. "Sanaa? Are you alright?"

She whimpered. "He's such a meanie." She held her stomach, wincing. "Stupid jerk, yeah. I have half a mind to shove his head in the ground."

"Sanaa…" Cielo sighed. "Your ability to maintain such a childish attitude even after being attacked surprises me."

She opened her eyes to look at Cielo. "It's a good thing I was wearing the earth armor Tibby made me wear." She pulled up her shirt to show Cielo the thick ground armor that covered her stomach. "That would have hurt a lot more if I hadn't been, yeah."

Cielo exhaled. "It's a good thing Tiburon can think ahead." He glanced over his shoulder and paled a little. "Sanaa, close your eyes."

"Why?" She asked, looking around. She gasped. "Tibby…"

Tiburon was covered in blood as he continued to pummel the redhead beneath him. The redhead's team only watched in shock as Tiburon drove their teammate's face into the ground.

"Tiburon, that's enough." Cielo called. "Tiburon!"

If Tiburon heard him, he didn't show it."

Sanaa got up and ran around Cielo. She grabbed Tiburon's bloodied hand before it could slam into the redhead's face again. He glared up at her, his eyes blazing, until he realized it was her. His glare faded and the tension in his shoulders eased.

"Sanaa." He said quietly.

"I'm okay, Tibby." She whispered. She tugged on his hands. "Come on. Get off of him."

Tiburon looked down at his victim and he tensed. He pulled his hand from Sanaa grasp and pressed his fingers to the redhead's neck. He closed his eyes and immediately got up. He grabbed Sanaa's hand and pulled her away from the redhead before heading north, in the direction of the tower.

"Cielo, come on." Sanaa called.

Cielo ran to them, casting a look over his shoulder towards the enemy team. His eyes widened when the girl on the team burst into tears after they had checked on their now unrecognizable teammate.

He followed his team silently through the forest. Tiburon's silence and tension caused silence from his teammates and thus, none of them spoke, even when they decided it was time to set up camp for the night. It was a mutual agreement when Tiburon randomly stopped walking beside the large creek they were following and sat down.

Sanaa sat down beside Tiburon and Cielo sat on her other side. She exchanged a look with Cielo before wrapping her arms around Tiburon. "Tibby… you okay?"

Tiburon glanced at her, his eyes having faded to their original multicolored tones. "Are you?"

"I'm fine." She told him, meeting his gaze with her shinning blue eyes. "I had the earth armor you made me wear. The one Daddy showed me how to make."

Tiburon sighed and nodded. "Good. I forgot you were wearing that. That… is why I kind of snapped."

"Tiburon…" Cielo muttered.

"What?" Tiburon asked.

Cielo glanced at him. "You killed him, didn't you?"

"Not on purpose." Tiburon whispered. "His heart wasn't beating. I… must have crushed his skull while I was punching him. I heard some cracks, but I was too angry to stop." He looked down at his hands which were busted because of the repetitive impact and pressure. They were covered in blood both from the now passed Genin and Tiburon's own blood. "And I backed all of my blows with chakra."

Sanaa tightened her grip on Tiburon. "It's okay. It was an accident."

Tiburon sighed and stood up. "I'm gonna wash this blood off me before I set up some traps. Then I'll go to sleep and you can keep watch, Cielo."

Cielo nodded. "Alright."

Twenty minutes later and Tiburon was sleeping, curled up between two large tree roots with Sanna using him as a pillow. Cielo was sitting at Tiburon's feet, leaning against the root and watching over his team.

Half way through the night, Cielo's attention was focused on Tiburon. He was shaking in his sleep and muttering. He would flinch and wince every now and then, followed by a whimper. Cielo frowned. He knew Tiburon had night terrors, having seen a few during missions and at the base on occasion. He knew he couldn't wake him up, however, seeing as Tiburon slept through pretty much every method anyone used.

Tiburon jerked violently and his whimpering increased in volume. His flinch roused Sanaa and she looked around tiredly before what happened registered. She looked at Cielo. "How long?"

"For about ten minutes." Cielo told her. "It won't be long before he starts screaming."

Sanaa winced. She too had seen Tiburon's night terrors. When they had been kidnapped by Sonido, Tiburon's screams would echo through the base and afterwards, they only seemed to die down when he was with his parents or Kisame.

However, on missions, Sasuke had been the only one to soothe Tiburon.

Sanaa got up from her makeshift bed and crawled over to Tiburon's head. She picked up his shaking torso and positioned him so she was holding as much of his torso as she could on her lap and in her arms.

Tiburon shuddered violently, but he instinctively wrapped his arms around Sanaa. She just continued to hold him and pet his hair gently like she had seen Alice and Sasuke do many times.

"It's okay Tibby." She whispered. "You're alright. Me and Cielo are with you." Tiburon quieted down, but his muttering was still there and his shaking had yet to stop. Sanaa bit her lip and rested her head on Tiburon's. "Shh, Tibby. It's just a dream. It's not real."

Tiburon buried his face into Sanaa's person and tightened his grip on her. His shaking eased and his breathing calmed. Eventually, his eyes opened. "Mommy?"

Sanaa closed her eyes and shook her head. It hurt to have to tell him that his most adamant protector wasn't the one keeping him safe from his own mind. "No Tibby… It's Sanaa."

Tiburon frowned tiredly. "Sanaa?"

"Yeah." She confirmed. "Go to sleep. Cielo and I are here. And we won't let anything happen to you."

Tiburon closed his eyes and he rested his head in Sanaa's shoulder. Eventually he fell asleep again and Sanaa traded shifts with Cielo so she could hold Tiburon and he could sleep. She stayed awake the rest of the night, holding onto her oldest friend.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>Kōri is a prodigy. He is the youngest member on his team and actually, he's younger than Cielo. Kasai is eleven and Ken is twelve. Most of the other participating genin are from eleven and up. There are probably only a few others who are younger._

Answer: _I love the characters the most. But, I also love the foreshadowing and the character interaction as well as the plot. The characters are so interesting and most of them are well developed and awesome. And the plot... well, we wouldn't have Naruto without it._

**QotC:**_ If you could pull a prank on any Naruto character who would it be and what would the prank be?_

_Thank you all for the birthday wishes and whatnot. And thank you to the few of you who made me fanart/fanfanfictions for my birthday. I truly appreciate (love) them and they made my day.  
><em>

_And great job on getting to 20 reviews so quickly. :)  
><em>

_See you next time.  
><em>


	41. Chapter 41

_What the?_

_Enjoy my dear readers  
><em>

* * *

><p>Cielo grunted as he slammed one of their enemies into a tree. He had his hand around the other genin's throat. He wasn't exactly thrilled about having to use such brutal tactics, but it was necessary. Tiburon wasn't in any mood for stealth so he couldn't use his technique and just have Tiburon rob them blind. It was a lot harder to affect moving targets.<p>

Sanaa was playing with her opponent. She was basically playing a form of whack-a-mole with her as the mole and her opponent was trying to catch her. He was having a hard time and his frustration was only bringing out her playful cocky side that caused Alice to call her Deidara number two.

Tiburon, meanwhile, had caught his opponent in one of the traps he had set up the night before. This team had foolishly tried to ambush them, only to find that they were fully prepared because of Tiburon's warning traps.

Tiburon was standing under the infuriated Konoha genin, smirking at her. "So, mind telling me where your scroll is?"

Cielo tightened his grip on his victim's throat. "If you do, I will allow you to stay conscious and sane."

Sanaa giggled and popped up beside Cielo. "This is so much fun, yeah."

"Get back here!" Her enemy shouted, running towards her. She disappeared back into the ground, only to reappear next to him. She grabbed his ankle from beneath the ground dragged him under the earth's crust until he was in all the way to his chin. She then emerged from the dirt beside him, dusted herself off and patted his head.

"You just stay there for a minute." She told him with a smile.

"I don't think they're going to tell us where their scroll is." Tiburon sighed.

"Use a Genjutsu." Cielo told him boredly. "I assumed Sasuke-sensei taught you how to extract information from your enemy with your Sharingan."

Tiburon sighed. "Well yeah, but it's a lot harder to do without the Mangekyō. I don't have that yet."

"Just try Tiburon." Cielo growled. "We're a mile away from the tower, and I'm tired of this damn forest."

"Alright, alright." Tiburon snapped. "Damn grumpy. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the dirt?"

Sanaa giggled when Cielo glared. "He's so cute when he's angry. He never gets mad so when he does, it's super special."

Tiburon looked at the girl. "This is your last chance to tell me where your scroll is before you get to be closely acquainted with my Sharingan."

Sanaa cocked her head to the side. "You guys are looking for their scroll?"

Cielo looked at her. "Yes. That's what is taking us so long."

Sanaa raised her eyebrow and pulled a white scroll out of her coat. "I've had this for a while. Why do you think he was trying so hard to catch me and not helping his teammates?"

Tiburon face-palmed while Cielo sighed heavily. "Sanaa…"

"What?" She asked.

"Give me the scroll." Tiburon sighed. He caught it when she tossed it to him. "Cielo, knock that kid out and let's go."

Cielo nodded and pinched the nerves in his victim's neck before letting him fall to the ground. "Let's go."

The trio raced towards the tower and finally, they reached it without any more trouble. They walked in the first door they made it to and went to the opposite wall.

"Now what? Do we just open the scrolls?" Sanaa wondered.

"There's a riddle or something." Cielo stated, reading the tapestry on the wall.

Tiburon rolled his eyes, sighing. "Stupid riddles."

"If lacking Heaven, seek wisdom. Be lacking Earth, run in the fields. Seek both Heaven and Earth, danger becomes the principles that guide a human." Sanaa read.

Tiburon glanced at the wall. "Let's just open the scrolls. I've been dying to open them the entire time. I just spent three days in Hell's garden, and I am not going to just sit here thinking about a stupid poem."

"It isn't a stupid poem." Cielo said boredly. "The 'heaven' is meant to be a person's head and 'earth' is the body. Meaning, if your weak spot is your mind, gain knowledge. And if your body is lacking strength, get stronger. Having both of them makes dangerous situations safer." He glanced at Tiburon. "Obviously you're skills do not involve interpreting poetry."

"That's a shitty skill." Tiburon deadpanned.

"No." Cielo said, shaking his head. "It's not. Not only am I good at interpreting poetry, it means I can see the deeper meaning of things as well as read between the lines." He crossed his arms. "That is a good poem. You should remember it."

"I'll try to not forget while I'm opening these scrolls." Tiburon stated, unrolling the scrolls. He frowned at the familiar summoning symbol and backed away from them as smoke began to pour from them. "Who knows what freaky thing is coming out of those…"

"I'm insulted." A voice grunted.

Tiburon grinned and Cielo chuckled.

Sanaa beamed and darted forward, slamming into her sensei. "Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked and rumpled her hair. "Good to see you three finally made it."

"You say that like we weren't going to." Tiburon huffed.

Sasuke shrugged, his smirk widening when his nephew glared. "Well, my job was to tell you what that little poem up there meant, but since Cielo already got it, he did my job for me. I suppose all I can do now is show you brats to the medics so they can tend to you. You have two days to rest here in the tower."

Tiburon sighed. "I'm already sick of this stupid exam."

"Oh quit whining." Sasuke said, rolling his eyes. "Your exam was a stroll in the park compared to mine. You didn't have Kage leveled Shinobi chasing after you with giant snakes."

"No, but I did have some jerk redhead from Kumo hunting me down because he wanted to try his luck against an Uchiha." Tiburon said boredly.

Sasuke lifted his eyebrow. "How did that go?"

Tiburon looked away from him, his attitude evaporating instantly. "I won."

Sasuke frowned at Tiburon's shift in attitude and looked at Sanaa and Cielo for answers. They just shook their heads and Cielo made a silent promise to tell him later. Sasuke dipped his head and grabbed Tiburon's shoulder. "Let's go."

"How many teams made it back?" Cielo wondered.

"So far, only three teams other teams made it to the tower." Sasuke stated throwing the door open for his students. "There are four, including you three."

"Did Shika's team get here?" Sanaa wondered, hopping out of the room after Sasuke.

Sasuke shook his head as he led them up a staircase. "No. They're expected to get here within the next sixteen hours or so. The team that got here first was actually Lee's team. Neji's pretty irritated at that. His team got here a moment before you brats did."

"So, how bad is my mom freaking out?" Tiburon asked.

"Not bad." Sasuke admitted. "She's the one predicting when all of the teams get here and which order they arrive in. So far, she hasn't been wrong." He chuckled. "She is going to be hounded when people are allowed to start making bets."

Sasuke grabbed Sanaa's shirt before she could skip by him and he pushed open one of the doors on the floor they were on that was reserved for his team. "Sit in here. I'll need to alert one of the medics that you're here so that yours can be sent down."

"We're not hurt though." Sanaa stated. "We don't need a medic."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "You do know that your assigned medic is Sasori, right?"

"I want Sori-Danna yeah!" Sanaa yelled instantly.

Sasuke smirked. "That's what I thought." He pointed to the beds. "Sit. Rest. I'll be back."

Tiburon threw himself on one of the beds. Cielo tossed himself onto another one and Sanaa sat on hers, her attention fixed on the door. Tiburon kicked off his shoes and sighed. "Bed…"

"I never thought I would miss cotton so much…" Cielo said with a heavy sigh, hugging the pillow on his bed.

"I'm starving. I hope they bring food." Tiburon grunted. He looked up when a knock sounded on the door and it opened.

Sasori walked in with Kisame, Alice, Deidara, Sasuke, Itachi, and Kathryn. Sanaa cheered happily and darted forward to latch onto Sasori who was the first one into the room.

"Sori-Danna!" She chirped. She hugged his waist tightly. "I missed you yeah."

Sasori stroked her hair gently. "I missed you too, kid." He pulled her off of his person. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "Uh huh."

"I'm still checking over the three of you. Knowing you brats, you could be on your deathbeds and you either wouldn't know it, or you'd be ignoring the pain and damage." Sasori deadpanned, setting Sanaa on her bed.

Tiburon sat up when his mother approached him and he allowed her to hug him tightly. He buried his face into the crook of her neck. "Hi Mom."

Alice hugged him back. "I missed you baby."

He clenched his fists on her back. "I missed you too."

Alice pulled away from him and took his face into her hands before kissing his forehead. "I'm very proud of you."

Tiburon looked down, but didn't comment. The redhead he killed flashing through his mind. Alice frowned but released him to go and greet Cielo so Itachi could hug their son.

"Tiburon." Itachi said smoothly.

Tiburon looked up at him. "Hi Dad."

Alice raised her eyebrow at Cielo as she sat down beside him on his mattress. "Hi sweetie." She pulled him into a hug. "Are you alright?"

Cielo nodded. "I am perfectly fine if not a little tired."

"Of course." She said with a smile. She stroked his bangs out of his face, smiling at him. "You three did a great job getting here. I'm proud of the three of you."

Cielo dipped his head. "Thank you, Alice. That means a lot."

"Good." She smirked. "Now, why is Tiburon sulking?"

Cielo glanced in his teammate's direction to see he was occupied with fighting off Kisame's tickling. He looked back at Alice and sighed. "He ended up killing two other participants. One that was already wounded was caught in one of his traps. And the other he killed with his bare hands during a one-on-one fight."

Alice tensed and looked back at Tiburon. "How…"

"He crushed his skull with chakra enforced punches. The guy had attacked Sanaa even though they had agreed to not involve the rest of us. Sanaa got hit with one of his jutsu and Tiburon kind of snapped." Cielo explained quietly.

Alice stared at Tiburon for a moment before looking at Cielo. "Keep an eye on him for me, will you? He needs to sort most of this out on his own. However, talk to him if you think it will help. Once this exam is over with and I have more time with him, I'll talk to him."

"Absolutely." Cielo nodded.

Alice kissed Cielo's forehead. "Thank you." She then straightened up and scoffed. "I almost forgot." She whistled loudly.

A howl ripped through the hallways and Sable burst into the room. She tackled Tiburon onto the bed the instant she saw him and she smothered him with affection, enticing a grin from the youngest Uchiha.

Ash came trotting into the room in a much more reserved way. He bypassed everyone in the room until he reached Cielo's bed. He hopped onto the mattress and instantly took a seat on Cielo's lap. He looked up at Cielo and licked his face continuously, allowing his tail to wag happily.

Alice smiled. "He missed you." She patted Ash's head before rumpling Cielo's head.

Cielo hugged Ash tightly and buried his face into his fuzzy companion's fur. "I missed him as well. Thank you, Alice."

She smiled at him one more time before shoving Deidara off of Sanaa and pouncing on the girl. "Sanaa!"

Sanaa giggled. "Icy!" She hugged Alice tightly, giggling away. "I missed you yeah!"

"I missed you too, lovely little lady." Alice assured her. "You're a strong girl, dealing with these two for three days straight." She kissed Sanaa's head. "I love you."

"I love you too, Icy." Sanaa said sweetly. She giggled. "Daddy's glaring at you."

"He can deal with it. You're mine." Alice said dismissively.

"I begged to differ." Sasori grunted, walking towards Cielo. "She is mine."

Alice rolled her eyes. "I suppose I can share her with you."

Sasori smirked. "There is no sharing. She's mine and mine only." He glanced at Sanaa. "Right brat?"

Sanaa grinned, but neither confirmed or denied his claims because Sable decided she wanted a piece of Sanaa. Sable basically shoved Alice aside to greet the little blond girl.

Alice smiled and pet Sable approvingly before glancing at Sasori. "Cielo and Tiburon are mine too."

Kisame scoffed. "Whatever."

"Don't worry Kisa. You're mine too." Alice told him. "I own all of you."

Kathryn giggled and rubbed her nose against Tiburon's. "That's okay. As long as I get to cuddle Tibby and Cielo sometimes, you can claim them."

Tiburon rolled his eyes and hugged Kathryn back. "I love you Kitty."

"Awe, I love you too Tibby!" Kathryn told him sweetly. "You and Cielo are my favorite nephews ever."

"Where are Hidan-oji and Kuzu-oji?" Sanaa wondered.

"They're waiting for some of us to go back to the control room. You guys are only allowed so many visitors at a time, un." Deidara told her. He kissed her head. "Technically you're not supposed to have any, but Alice has always had a skill at pulling strings hmm."

Alice smirked. "This is true, but Sasori is better than me, being a puppet master and all that."

Sasori flicked Alice's head. "Hush." He stroked Sanaa's hair for a moment before looking at Deidara and Kathryn. "You two come with me. We're heading back to the control room. Alice isn't babysitting you."

Kathryn sighed dejectedly and released Cielo before flopping onto Sanaa's bed. She scooped up her daughter and smothered her with kisses. "Bye baby. I love you. I'll see you soon, kay? You beat up these two boys if they're mean to you, alright?"

"Okay Mommy, I love you." Sanaa said cheerfully.

When Kathryn released her, Deidara snatched her off the bed and held her tightly. "I love you Sanaa, un. Be good and keep those boys in line." He nuzzled her face before kissing her. "I love you baby, yeah."

"I love you too Daddy." Sanaa smiled, hugging his neck and kissing his cheek.

Sasori ripped her from Deidara's arms a second later, permitted her to hug him and kiss his cheek before setting her one the bed. She assured him she loved him and he returned her declaration of love in his own stoic ways.

Alice watched them leave, her eyebrow raised. "So weird…"

Kisame grinned, helping Tiburon mess with Sable. "You got that right."

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

I yawned boredly as I stood in the room where so long ago, the third Hokage held the preliminaries after the second round of the exam. The Akatsuki, minus Pein, Zetsu, and Konan, stood around and behind Kathryn and I as we stood somewhat beside Tsunade.

All of the kids that passed the second round were standing before us in rows of three. Some of them looked… better than others. There were six teams total, including my brats. Their Jōnin sensei were standing together on Tsunade's other side, along with some exam proctors.

Tsunade smiled over the genin. "Well done. You've passed the second round of the exam."

"Two down, one to go." The boy named Kōri sighed dramatically. "I've about had it with this exam."

Sanaa, Tiburon, and a boy from Lee's team snickered.

"The third and final round of this exam will take place in a month's time." Tsunade announced.

Tiburon gawked. "Wait just a minute! A month? You've got to be kidding me."

She looked at him. "No, I'm not kidding you. You can use that time to enhance your skills and develop some new tricks for the final round. The final round will be set up like a tournament in which there will be a number of one on one fights."

"That sound be fun." Kōri mused.

"But a month?" Tiburon stressed. "Really?"

"Yes, Tiburon." Sasuke sighed. "A month. Quit complaining."

Tiburon stuck his tongue out at Sasuke.

Kathryn giggled when Sasuke scowled. "So cute."

I rolled my eyes, focusing on Tsunade as she continued her speech. That proved to be difficult when all of my morons decided they wanted to chat. Hidan and Deidara were the most annoying and moronic.

"Whatever asshole, un." Deidara scoffed. "You're just pissed because my wife's hot and you're single, yeah."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "I could get any fucking slut if I wanted, Dei-chan. The bitches love me."

"Prove it, yeah." Deidara challenged.

About thirty seconds later, I felt Hidan's hand grab my boob.

"See? They fucking love it." Hidan stated. "Even Ice Bitch does."

Slowly, I turned to glare at him. He just looked down at me, as if daring me to do something about it.

"Hidan." I growled.

Itachi, noticing my irritation, looked at me. "Alice?"

"He second based me." I snapped.

Itachi's Eternal whirled into existence.

Hidan paled, but before Itachi could pull him into any serious Genjutsu, I ripped out my sword and sliced Hidan's head off. It thumped to the ground and bounced away.

"You fucking asshole." I snarled. "I have told you _countless_ times not to fucking do that!"

"You stupid bitch!" Hidan shouted. "That hurt!"

"Good, you mother fucker." I retorted. I cleaned my sword off on his cloak before sheathing and turning back around, only to remember that I had an audience and now everyone was gawking at us.

Well, the Akatsuki weren't. Deidara was laughing while everyone else sighed at my outburst.

"What?" I demanded.

All of them looked towards Hidan's swearing head.

I waved them off. "He's immortal. He can handle it."

"Mom, stop being insane." Tiburon stated.

"Shut up." I barked. "I'll cut your head off too. I brought you into this world, I can take you out just as easily."

He smiled innocently and hid behind Cielo.

"That's what I thought, you little brat." I snapped. I looked at Tsunade who was gawking at us. "Continue."

Her eyes were locked on Hidan's head and they widened when Sable picked it up by his hair and carried it away from his body.

"YOU STUPID MUTT! PUT ME BACK!" He shouted.

"Hidan, shut up. Sable is not a mutt." I barked. "Sable, bring him here."

Sable looked around at my orders and she trotted over to me before dropping Hidan's head at my feet. Hidan bit my shoe.

"Oh quit it, you big baby." I sighed. I grabbed him by his hair and tossed his head to Kakuzu. "Put that back on, will you?"

Kakuzu caught Hidan's head before picking up his body and dragging it back behind the rest of the Akatsuki so he could work in peace.

Finally free of the immortal imbecile, I looked at Tsunade. "Don't worry about him. He'll be fine. Kakuzu will fix him in a minute. Continue with your speech."

She shook her head at me before returning her attention to the kids standing before us. "As I was saying… the exam will be held within the month. Until then, recover and improve your skills. You are dismissed."

Kathryn cocked her head to the side. "Well that was an extreme anticlimax."

"They're ninjas." I shrugged. "They're awesome enough without have an epic climax."

She smiled and hugged Deidara. "True."

Deidara looked away from Sasori to grin at Kathryn and kiss her. "Hey beautiful, un."

She beamed.

"Tibby, Sanaa, Cielo, let's go." I called, rolling my eyes at their antics. "Train's leaving."

Sanaa giggled and skipped after us while Tiburon and Cielo followed in a more reserved way. "You're so goofy, Icy."

I smiled at her. "I know."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>It is currently 3:50 am as I post this. I also have no AC and it's around 100 degrees here in Ohio. Fuck my life._

Answer: _I'd just do a collaborative prank to get all of the characters. It'd be pretty sweet._

**QotC:** _Subs or Dubs?_**  
><strong>

_**WotC: **Three - Tres. Two - dos. One - Uno.  
><em>

_Yeah... I'm going to sleep. The author's note might be longer next time. :)  
><em>

_See ya.  
><em>


	42. Chapter 42

_Here is chapter 42, my lovelies._

_Enjoy. I do not own Naruto. :)  
><em>

_Admit it. You guys know you would love it if I did.  
><em>

* * *

><p>A sneeze broke my concentration and I looked around to see Itachi rubbing his nose as he entered the room. "Jashin bless you." I told him.<p>

He looked at me uncertainly and sniffed. "Thank you?"

I shrugged. "Immortality could be a blessing, right?" I tapped my chin. "I'll have to ask Hidan his opinion."

Itachi walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead. "It would only be a blessing if you were made immortal with me." He rubbed his nose against mine. "Otherwise it would just be a curse."

I kissed him. "You're cute." I frowned. "But on a side note, since when do you sneeze?"

Itachi shrugged. "My sinuses have been acting up."

"Want me to go find you some medicine?" I asked.

"No." He said, shaking his head. "I am sure it will go away on its own."

"If you say so babe." I shrugged, kissing him.

He looked around me. "What were you doing?"

"I was just rereading about things from our past that never happened." I admitted. I frowned when he sneezed again. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, breathing through his mouth because of his stuffed nose. "Tachi, are you sure you're alright?"

He nodded. "It's just a bug, Alice."

"Yeah, I thought the same thing and it turns out I was poisoned." I deadpanned. "Itachi, ask Sasori to check you out for me. Please?"

He sighed. "Alright. Fine."

I kissed the tip of his nose. "Thank you."

Another sneezed interrupted me and I looked towards the doorway to see Sasuke blowing his nose with a frown on his face. "I hate sinus issues."

I smiled. "Hey Sasuke. Are you alright?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Just some sinus things."

I looked at Itachi. "Take Sasuke with you."

"Alright." Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, come with me please."

Sasuke frowned. "Why?"

"Because I told you to." Itachi stated. "Just come."

I patted Sasuke's shoulder when he scowled. "I'll go pick up some medicine from Sakura after dinner, Sasuke. Itachi's sneezing too."

Sasuke looked at me. "Thank you."

"Anything for my favorite duck butt." I smiled, kissing his cheek. "Now go with your brother. Itachi, you had _better_ go see Sasori or I will skin your ass."

He sighed. "Yes Alice."

"Good boy." I smiled. "Now shoo."

* * *

><p>Later on that evening…<p>

* * *

><p>"Mom…"<p>

"What baby?" I asked, looking at Tiburon who came to the foyer where I was taking my shoes off. I had just gotten home from getting medicine from Sakura for Sasuke and Itachi.

"Why do Dad and Sasuke look like they just went through a blizzard and snorted pollen?" He wondered.

I raised my eyebrow. "Are they getting worse?"

"I swear neither of them has moved from lying on the couches other than to get tissues from the boxes on the end tables next to them." Tiburon deadpanned.

I sighed. "So they are getting worse."

"Yeah, Dad about mauled Kisa for asking if they were okay. Me, Kisa, and Cielo decided to leave them to you." He explained.

"I'll handle it." I sighed. I picked up the bag that had the medicine in it and I ventured to the living room where my husband and brother-in-law were sniffling/sneezing/sulking. When I arrived, both of them sat up quickly and tried to put on an air of being fine.

I put my hands on my hips. "Do I look stupid to you?"

Both of them sighed.

"That's what I thought." I said with a frown. I walked over to Itachi and put my hand on his forehead. "You have a fever." I pulled out the new thermometer I had thought to buy on my excursion to get medicine and I offered it to him with one of those sanitary cover things covering it.

He glared at it like it had insulted him.

"You either put it under your tongue voluntarily, or I shove it up your ass like an animal and take your temperature that way." I threatened. "And don't even think I won't."

"Alright, Alice." He said in a weaker voice.

Sasuke snickered at him when Itachi obeyed me. But he paled when I pointed at him. "You're next, Sasuke."

He pouted.

I looked at the thermometer when it beeped and sighed at the 100 degree temperature. "How long have you two been sick?"

"Not long." Itachi muttered.

"Itachi Uchiha, how long have you been hiding this?" I asked, crossing my arms.

He looked away from me. "About three days."

I sighed. "Idiot Uchiha men." I snatched the thermometer from him, replaced the cover with a new one, and handed it to Sasuke. "Don't make me threaten you too."

He obeyed me, glaring at the smirk Itachi sent him. He was done a moment or so later with a temperature of 99.

"Both of you, go to bed." I ordered. "Now."

"Alice, we're not children." Itachi protested.

"One." I began. I frowned when they didn't move. "Two." I glared. "If I get to three and you two aren't heading towards your rooms, I'll choke you with those tissues."

Both Uchiha survivors sighed and got up, heading towards their bedrooms. I followed after them with the medicine and tissues. Itachi went to our room while Sasuke went to his. I gave each other them tissues and a dosage of the medicine before ordering them to rest.

While they got comfortable, I raided the closest and other rooms of the house for extra blankets. The ones that were questionable were put in the laundry immediately while I separated the other blankets evenly before covering Itachi with half and Sasuke with the other half.

They needed to sweat out their fever and drink lots of liquids. So, with that in mind, I went to the kitchen to gather them two glasses each. I filled one of their glasses with orange juice while the other was left empty so I could fill it up with water if they needed something other than orange juice.

I handed Sasuke his orange juice since his room was closer to the kitchen. "Here Sasuke. You need to constantly drink fluids while you're awake. It will help you get better faster and keep those covers on." I stroked his hair when he accepted the drink with a quiet dip of his head. "If you need anything else, do not get up. Call for me. I'll keep these doors open so I can hear you boys."

"Thank you Alice." He told me.

"No problem, Sasuke." I smiled.

I left his room and went to Itachi's where he was lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling. When I entered the room, he gave me a small smile. He accepted the orange juice when I handed it to him and he thanked me quietly.

"Like I told Sasuke, you need to drink a lot so I'll be getting you refills whenever you need them. And you need to sweat out that fever so keep your covers on." I began. I sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at him. "I'll be right here if you need anything, Itachi. So you had better _not_ get up."

Itachi gave me a rare smile. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome." I told him.

He shook his head with a small chuckle.

"What?" I asked.

"You remind me of my mother when you do things like this." He stated. "I believe you two would have gotten along."

I shrugged. "Maternal instinct."

He set his drink down on the end table before grabbing my hand and pulling me to him. I hadn't expected him to do this, so I kind of fell on top of him, but he didn't seem to care. He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I love you, Alice." He whispered.

I smiled at him. "I love you too, Itachi." I stroked his hair. "Get some rest, babe. I'll be here if you need me."

So, he and Sasuke slept for a time. Sasuke woke up a lot more than Itachi did because of muscle cramps and the need to use the potty. So, I was constantly tending to him. When Itachi woke up, he was cranky so I had to be extra careful around him.

It was one in the morning and Sasuke had just woken up. I had gone into his room to check on him just as he opened his eyes. He frowned at me for a moment. "Mom, can you get me some more orange juice?"

I blinked and stared at him before quickly recovering. He was tired, sick, and disoriented. I was certain he had no idea that he just referred to me as "mom" so I wasn't going to risk upsetting him about it. Because honestly, it didn't bother me.

"Sure Sasuke." I smiled. I walked over to him and felt his head. "Your temperature seems to be going down. That's good."

He yawned and turned over, staring absently ahead of him, his eyes drooping heavily. He was still like that when I returned, only one of his eyes had closed.

"Sasuke." I whispered, putting my hand on his shoulder. "I brought you some orange juice, Sasuke."

He opened his eyes and blinked tiredly. "Thanks mom."

I handed it to him and watched him drink some of it before taking it from him and putting it on the table. "You need anything else, Sasuke?"

He shook his head. "How is Nii-san?"

"Itachi's still sleeping." I informed him. "Which is what you should be doing."

He yawned. "Kay."

"Good night, Sasuke." I told him. "I love you."

"Night." He muttered sleepily. "Love you too."

I smirked at the change in personality his sickness caused before leaving the room. I went to mine to see Itachi latched onto Sable. Sable was lying on the bed beside him, her head on the pillow. Her tail began wagging when I walked in.

I pet her after I reached the bed and put my hand on Itachi's head. He was cooling down a little, but the last time I checked his temperature, it had gone up a degree. It had been a while since then, but even still, I wasn't sure if I trusted his forehead.

I didn't want to wake him up though, so I didn't. Instead, I let him sleep, hoping it lasted throughout the night. Climbing into bed with him on my side, I lie down beside him. Soon after, he rolled over in his sleep and latched onto me, using my chest as a pillow.

I smiled and busied myself with playing with his hair, knowing he loved it. He continued to sleep under my petting.

I didn't sleep that night, keeping an open ear for Sasuke. He slept through the night, but I checked on him every now and then because he would cough in his sleep or I would hear him mutter something unintelligible.

Itachi woke up sometime in the night. He started with a huge twitched that scared me and stared at the wall for a minute after waking before looking at me. I raised my eyebrow at him, still playing with his hair. "Are you alright, Itachi?"

He sniffed and scratched his nose before closing his eyes. "Bad dream."

I kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry, babe." I pet him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." He whispered.

I later learned Itachi had dreamed about the night he slaughtered the clan. The main focuses of the dream were his parents, namely his mother. It was probably my fault for reminding him so much of her while taking care of him.

"Okay." I nodded. "Do you want something to drink or something?"

He shook his head. "No." He frowned. "I want Sasuke."

I frowned. "He's sleeping in his room."

He started getting up.

"Oh no you don't." I scolded. "You're staying right there." He frowned at me. "I'll get Kisame to move him in here with you." I shrugged. "It'll be easier so I can watch you both at the same time instead of running back and forth."

He frowned but didn't protest as I left the room. I went into Kisame's room, surprised to see him awake. "Kisame? What are you doing up?"

He looked up at me from Samehada. "Endurance training. I can't go getting soft."

I raised my eyebrow. "So... you're staying up all night to test your endurance?"

"That's not all I'm doing, but it's part of it." He shrugged. "What did you need?"

"Will you move Sasuke into my room?" I asked. "Itachi's being needy and he wants his brother."

Kisame chuckled. "Of course."

Kisame got up from his bed and walked out of his room and down the hallway to Sasuke's room. He slipped inside, pulled Sasuke free of all of the blankets, and carried him into my room while I gathered Sasuke's blankets and his orange juice.

When I caught up with Kisame, he was in a situation.

Sasuke had woken up.

"Kisame?" Sasuke asked tiredly. "What are you doing?"

"Catering to your brother's needs." Kisame said with a smirk. He placed Sasuke on me and Itachi's bed. "There you go, partner."

Itachi stirred slightly and his frown vanished when he saw Sasuke. He glanced at Kisame and thanked him quietly. Kisame grinned at him before leaving, pausing briefly to kiss the top of my head and tell me goodnight.

"Night, Kisame." I told him. I set Sasuke's drink down once Kisame was gone and walked over to the bed.

Sasuke had already rolled over and gotten comfortable. Itachi was staring at Sasuke, a pained look in his eyes.

I covered Sasuke with his blankets. "There you go, Sasuke. And your orange juice is in the blue cup while Itachi's is in the red cup."

He nodded tiredly, burying his face into the pillows and blankets to get comfortable. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I smiled. "Itachi, there's your brother."

Itachi looked at me for a moment before his hand shot out and grabbed me. He pulled me with surprising ninja strength onto the bed and he latched onto me with one arm while his other arm brought Sasuke closer.

I smiled at him and rolled my eyes. "Want me to go and get Tiburon and Cielo too?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't want to get them sick."

"So it's okay if you get me sick?" I asked.

"No." He stated. "But you've already been exposed to it, so if don't already have it, sleeping here with me when I've been treated will not give it to you."

I sighed. "Go to sleep."

He kissed my forehead. "Love you."

"I love you too." I assured him. "Night Sasuke."

He grunted at me, too busy cuddling into his brother despite the large wolf that was using him as a pillow. Sable loved every second of this because she was surrounded by people who would pet her both consciously and subconsciously.

There have been nights were Itachi pets Sable all night long while sleeping. It's kinda cute.

* * *

><p>The next day, Sasuke and Itachi were feeling much better, so I allowed them to camp out in the living room and I found a TV in one of the abandoned houses for them to watch. Itachi wasn't interested in TV and instead busied himself with other things, like reading, or using random things as target practice.<p>

Sasuke, however, was focused on the TV. Sasuke, Kisame, and Tiburon were watching a bunch of movies together and all of them were mocking the logic of the films as well as making fun of the people in the movies.

I looked into the living room after Cielo and I finished doing the dishes, which he offered to help do because he's a good boy, and I rolled my eyes when Tiburon spit out his water because of something Kisame said.

"Cielo, you can join them if you want." I offered, glancing back at Cielo.

He shook his head. "No thanks, Alice. I think I will go find someone to train with. Thank you for lunch. It was good."

I kissed the top of his head. "You're welcome, sweetie." I hugged him and rumpled his hair. "I think Sasori is free. Why don't you ask him?"

Cielo dipped his head. "I will. See you."

"Be careful." I told him. "Don't overwork yourself." I watched him leave before shaking my head and walking into the living room. "You boys need anything?"

"No." Sasuke, Tiburon, and Kisame said in unison. Kisame added: "Thanks anyways, squirt" but they were all focused on the TV.

Itachi looked up from his book and met my gaze. "No Alice, thank you. If we need something, we have Kisame and Tiburon to enslave."

I smiled. "Well good, because I'm going to find Kathryn." I kissed his forehead. "If you guys need me, you know my number."

"Bye Mom." Tiburon stated, looking away from the TV briefly when I kissed his cheek.

Sasuke grunted at me when I rumpled his hair and Kisame shot me a grin when I hugged him before I left the house.

I walked across the street to see Deidara and Sasori standing on the porch with Cielo. "What are you three doing?"

"We're going to train Cielo, un." Deidara informed me.

"Where's Sanaa?" I asked.

Sasori jerked his head towards the house. "Doing her hair. She's coming with us."

"Tiburon is watching TV in the house if you want to force him to go train with you guys. I ask that you do because he's been sulking about that Kumo kid ever since the exam. Wear him out so he's too tired to have nightmares about it." I offered. "I'm kidnapping your wife by the way, Deidara."

"Alright, yeah." Deidara grinned.

I pushed open the door. "Kathryn! Get out here! You and me are hanging out!"

"COMING~!" She sang, skipping down the hallway from out of the living room. She glomped me. "Hi Momma!"

"Hey." I greeted. "Come on."

"Why are we going out?" She asked, following after me after kissing Sasori, Deidara, and Cielo's cheeks.

I glanced at her. "I'm sick of sick people, and Tiburon is being super moody. I swear Cielo is only going to train with Sasori and Deidara so he can get away from the moody Uchiha men. I have no idea how Kisame does it."

Kathryn smiled. "Kisame handles it because he's a genuinely nice person with super testosterone to help him put his foot down when someone is mean to him." When I laughed, her smiled widened. "So where are we going, Momma?"

I shrugged. "Dunno, Kat. You can pick."

She beamed. "I can?"

"Yep." I nodded. "Knock yourself out."

She jumped up and down excitedly. "Yes!" She grabbed my hand. "Let's go shopping!"

I sighed as she dragged me out of the Uchiha district. "I feel like I'm going to regret this…"

* * *

><p><em>Shopping with Kathryn is hell. <em>

_**Fun Fact: **My AC has been fixed.  
><em>

Answer: _I honestly prefer subs. I mean, I'll watch dubs and I'm alright with them most of the time, but I just prefer the Japanese voices and acting. I know the Dub voice actors work hard, and they do a really good job compared to a lot of other shows out there. However, Subs just has stuff Dubs doesn't. And, though I love the guy who voices Itachi in dub... his Japanese voice actor has an even sexier voice. If I could, I'd marry the guy and have him talk to me in Itachi-voice forever._

**QotC: **_Who do you guys like better? Hashirama Senju or Madara Uchiha? Decisions decisions..._

_I don't really have anything to say today... So, I'll go.  
><em>

_I shall see you lovelies next time.  
><em>

_Toodles.  
><em>


	43. Chapter 43

_Fourty Three chapters and a lot more to go.  
><em>

_Btw, I just saw Magic Mike... Oh my Jashin.  
><em>

_I drooled everywhere and got a nose bleed.  
><em>

_Sooo many hot, muscular men.  
><em>

_Anyways, enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Kisame sighed to himself as he walked to the door of his bedroom. He just wanted to go to the nearest shower in the Uchiha manor, clean off the resulting muck from training with Tiburon and Cielo, and then go and beg Alice to make dinner.

With a plain, white towel thrown over his arm and his fluffy, blue robe that he had gotten from Alice a few months ago on, Kisame ripped open his door and stepped out of his room.

Just as he exited his room, he paused. Strutting down the hall clad only in a scandalously small, black towel was his best friend's wife. Thick droplets of water continued to drip down her poorly dried body and from her thick, dark brown hair. Her wet feet left footprints on the hardwood floors as she strolled down the corridor without a care in the world.

Kisame was frozen, visibly shocked by her actions. Internally, he argued that he should have expected this sort of behavior from her considering Alice had never really cared about making things awkward and she had never been embarrassed before, but he was still surprised to see it happening. Alice wasn't one to flaunt her body around, even if it was covered by a towel. Moving only his head, he followed Alice as she progressed by him and down the hallway to her room.

"The shower's all yours Kisa." She called over her shoulder, waving a hand back at him. The door to her room opened and Itachi stepped out, his usual bored expression on his face, even as he followed his wife for a moment. He turned his gaze to Kisame and away from Alice, allowing Kisame to see the amusement in his dark eyes that were void of their Sharingan.

Itachi stepped out of his wife's way as she waltzed into their shared room and he looked after her, a smirk breaking out on his typically stoic face. He slowly looked back to the tense Kisame and he chuckled. "Nice robe, Kisame. Otouto, you should close your mouth." Content, he slipped back into his bedroom and closed the door with a click.

Kisame stared at the closed door for a time before glancing towards the room he knew was Sasuke's. Sasuke stood there, his mouth agape and his eyes wide. Kisame sighed, rolling his eyes and continuing with his business. He closed his door and headed to the shower, mentally asking himself why he associated with such strange people.

**First Person Alice!**

I stretched as I exited my bedroom, feeling refreshed after my shower. Itachi had come into the room with me looking utterly amused for some reason, but I didn't ask. I just enjoyed drooling at the rare expression on his adorable face.

Itachi wrapped his arms around my waist as he followed me out of the room and he placed a soft kiss to the base of my neck. "Alice."

"Hn?" I wondered, glancing at him.

"I think you might have given Sasuke and Kisame a heart attack." He muttered into my shoulder.

"Why?" I asked.

"You walked by them, with only a towel covering you. I don't think Sasuke has seen that much of a woman before. If he has, it has never been one he considers his sister." Itachi told me.

"Huh…" I mused. "I only saw Kisame."

Itachi snorted with amusement. "Sasuke was just coming out of his room and his jaw about hit the floor."

I snickered. "Poor thing." I kissed Itachi's cheek and continued down the hallway towards the kitchen. After turning onto two other hallways, I finally reached my destination and grinned when I saw Sasuke sitting at the table. "Hello, Sasuke."

He grunted. "Alice."

"Sorry about the show." I stated. "In my defense, I didn't know you were there. I thought you and Kisame were still out training with Tiburon and Cielo for the third round of the Chūnin exams."

After completing the second exam and waiting out the two days for the rest of the teams to arrive, Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo were advanced to the next round along with five other teams, three of which were Konoha teams, one was a team from Suna, and one was from Kiri.

As per usual, the kids were given a month to train and prepare for the last round which was set up like a tournament. Tiburon's first match would be against one of Lee's students. Cielo would be fighting one of Neji's kids and Sanaa had her first match against a Kiri genin. There were eighteen participants total.

"We just got back." Sasuke said stiffly. "I was just a little shocked to see you… waltzing around like that."

I shrugged. "After having a kid, you stop caring who sees what." I patted his head. "Also, when I don't have to worry about Hidan and the other idiots running around, I pretty much have no reason to cover up besides common courtesy. Besides, Kisame has seen worse."

"I haven't." Sasuke deadpanned before he glanced at me. "I'm pretty sure my brother doesn't want you marching around naked."

"To be honest, that would depend on his mood." I countered. "In front of you and Kisame? No, he wouldn't. When it's just me and him? Certainly." I cackled when Sasuke made a face and choked on his tea.

"Alice, stop teasing my brother." Itachi said with a chuckle as he walked into the kitchen.

"But it's so fun." I pouted, patting Sasuke's back to make sure he didn't die. "His facial expressions are priceless."

Itachi kissed the side of my head before taking a seat beside his brother. "So Otouto, where are Cielo and Tiburon?"

Sasuke shrugged. "They were outside with Sanaa the last time I saw them."

I rumpled Sasuke's hair affectionately. "I'm not in the mood to make dinner, so we'll probably go get something in town in a bit. Don't go too far. I'm going to go find the kids."

"Hn." Sasuke and Itachi grunted.

"Sable." I whistled. She howled and rocketed into the kitchen from outside. I stood there for a moment, waiting for Ash to follow. When he didn't show, I understood his absence to mean he was with Cielo.

I patted Sable's head before beckoning her to follow me. She trotted beside me as we left the manor and emerged onto the main street of the Uchiha compound. I waved at the house across the street and the irritable redhead on the porch waved back boredly.

"What are you doing, Alice?" Sasori asked.

"Looking for the kids. Have you seen them?" I wondered, stopping in front of his house and slipping my hands into my pockets.

He shrugged. "Nope. I kicked them out of the yard. I was trying to meditate in peace and they were making that impossible. I cannot do it inside because Kathryn and Deidara are being all touchy-feely. It was enough to make me gag."

I smirked. "You're welcome to come stay with us if you want." I offered. "I know you don't sleep so a bedroom really isn't necessary, but we do have a lot of room and a few spare rooms."

"Someone has to watch these two idiots." He deadpanned.

"Suit yourself. But the offer still stands. Feel free to just walk in." I told him. "See you Sasori."

He dipped his head after me. "Send Sanaa back here when you find them."

"Hn." I grunted. I walked down the street, picking up a nice sized rock as I went. I smirked as I passed the house beside the Uchiha manor and I bounced the rock in my hand before launching it at the porch.

"Ouch!" A fleshy lump yelped. Hidan shot up from the porch swing he was sleeping on to glare at me. "You stupid bitch! That hurt!"

"Good." I snapped. "Go back to sleep, idiot."

He flicked me off. "Stupid slut."

I ignored him. "Where's Kakuzu?"

"Making bets on the little shits' matches." Hidan grunted, adjusting himself on the swing. "He's been at it all fucking day."

I smiled. "Good old Kakuzu." I shook my head. "See you Hidan."

"The fuck ever." He growled.

"Come Sable." I called. She trotted after me as I continued down the street, briefly glancing at the house that Pein and Konan were probably going to be staying in. Suigetsu and Jūgo had moved into the district as well, though they lived at the very front.

They were the only other people outside of the Akatsuki that Sasuke allowed to live in the district. He offered a Naruto a place, but Naruto was too busy being an idiot to really understand the offer. A few of the extra houses had been removed to make more room for the training grounds. And part of it had been damaged by Pein's almighty push all those years go so that was also converted into training grounds. Everything else was pretty much left alone and stood there, giving the place a very empty, abandoned feeling.

Well, it would have that feeling if we weren't living here. When we were, the entire compound was alive with our antics.

"Find Tibby, Sable." I grunted.

Sable barked and sniffed the ground for a moment before she began trotting towards the exit of the compound. I glared a bit when she left the compound and looked around at me, waiting for me to follow her.

The kids weren't allowed to leave the compound without my permission and I hadn't given them it. I didn't plan on letting them out of the safety of the district when the tension in the village was rising because of the upcoming round of the exam.

Plus, with all of the foreign Shinobi pooling into the village, there was a high chance of Tiburon being their target. And not just because he was an Uchiha.

But because I, as his mother, was the "Seer" and even though I had only been guessing on the events of the exam, I had yet to have an incorrect prediction. And that was going to get a lot of attention from the gamblers.

Hell, Kakuzu interrogated me last night for all of my predictions.

He'd be the only one I'd help though.

No one else is worthy.

Plus Kakuzu would have my head if I helped anyone other than him get money.

Either way, I had a feeling I was going to kill a few people before the start of the third exam.

Anyways, I followed Sable out of the compound and she led me to the park not too far away. She was sniffing a bush before her tail began wagging and Ash popped out of the bush.

"Hey Ash." I said gently, crouching to pet the adorable fox. He made a strange purring noise and rubbed against me, kind of like a cat before sitting down beside me. "Where's Cielo, Ash?"

Ash cocked his head to the side before looking up at the tree above us. I followed his gaze and sighed, putting my hands on my hips. "Cielo."

Cielo looked down at me and tensed a bit. "Alice."

"Get down here." I ordered, pointing at the ground.

He dropped from the tree, landing smoothly beside me. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Sanaa was chasing a butterfly. So Tiburon and I followed her."

I gave him a look.

He sighed. "Tiburon told me to tell you that if you come out here looking for us." He shrugged. "Shikamaru's team walked by the compound and asked us to come out here and hang out with them. I'm sorry Alice; I hadn't realized that we had left without asking until we were already out here."

I nodded and crossed my arms. "So where are Tiburon and Sanaa?"

Cielo went quiet for a moment before looking up at me. "Tiburon's hiding from you and Sanaa is hiding behind the bush over there."

"Sanaa." I called. "Get over here. Tiburon, you have ten seconds."

Sanaa's head popped up over the bush and she gave me a sheepish smile. "Hi Icy."

"Now." I ordered. Her smile disappeared and she hurried around the bush. She stood beside Cielo, avoiding my gaze. "Tiburon Shisui, if I have to tell you again, I will make you unfit to compete in the exam."

"Coming!" He called. A moment later, he was standing behind Cielo and Sanaa, avoiding my eyes and using Cielo as a meat shield.

I glared at them. "I told you not to leave the compound without my consent."

"We didn't go far." Tiburon pointed out with a hopeful pout. When I turned my glare onto him, his pout vanished and he looked away from me.

"I don't care where you went. You left without asking me and you didn't tell anyone else where you were. What if something bad happened to you?" I snapped.

Sanaa tensed and a streak of fear and worry crossed her face. "Tibby, you said you told Hidan-oji where we were going."

"I did." Tiburon stated. "He told me to 'fuck off' too." Tiburon put his hands over his mouth as soon as the words slipped from his lips and looked at me in shock. "Sorry mom. I didn't mean to say that."

I chose to ignore him. "Whatever. Get your asses back to the compound."

"Alice."

I glanced around and smiled at seeing Shikamaru. "Hello Shikamaru."

He dipped his head at me. "I'm surprised to see you out of the compound on your own."

"My brats decided to disobey me so I had to come and enforce my rules." I explained. "Where's your team? Cielo said they were playing together."

"Around." Shikamaru stated. "I sense their chakra. I think they're intimidated by you."

I smirked. "Good."

"Because she's crazy." Tiburon muttered.

"You better watch what you say, Tiburon Shisui. I haven't decided against smacking the hell out of you yet." I growled.

He coughed and looked away from me.

I don't beat my son if that's the vibe you're getting. But I'm not against spanking him or smacking the back of his head if he does something bad. I'm the only one allowed to do it though. I barely let Itachi punish him.

And yes, if Sanaa misbehaved, I'd spank her too. But she's extremely obedient and very good so I never have to worry about it. Tiburon, on the other hand, loves to piss me off and ignore me.

I have to make sure he minds in some way because he just laughs when I get mad.

Shikamaru smirked and shook his head. "It's hard to watch you be all motherly."

"I like being in control." I told him with a shrug. "Having kids gives me people to boss around and yell at."

"Only one of them is yours." He chuckled.

"I unofficially adopted Cielo and Sanaa is pretty much my shared kid with Sasori since her parents are shit when it comes to teaching her right from wrong and all that parental stuff." I deadpanned. "But, anyways, how is your team intimidated by me?"

"Because you beheaded Hidan just after the second exam ended." He deadpanned. "And you did it in front of them."

"He's immortal." I said dismissively. "He can handle it."

"It's still scary to see little you ripping your sword out and cutting someone's head off." Shikamaru chuckled.

"He made me mad." I pouted.

Shikamaru nodded. "I could tell. What did he do, dare I ask?"

"He second-based me." I shrugged. Shikamaru face-palmed while the kids looked confused. "It was either I behead him, or Itachi tortured him in front of everyone."

"It's a good thing you to matters into your own hands then." Shikamaru chuckled. His eyes flicked behind me. "Kakuzu. Zetsu."

I glanced around to see Kakuzu walking towards us, in full Akatsuki uniform. Zetsu was beside him. Zetsu had arrived yesterday, letting us know Pein and Konan were on their way here from Ame, having went there for Leader reasons. Zetsu had his own house, though he preferred just to stay outside in the extensive garden the house had. "Hey Kakuzu, hey Zetsu."

"Hey Alice." Zetsu stated. "**Hey kid**."

Kakuzu grunted and put a thick, tan hand on my head. "What are you doing out here?"

"These brats came out here without my permission." I explained.

Kakuzu looked at the kids. "I wonder how angry Sasori will be…"

Sanaa paled.

"**And Itachi…**" Zetsu mused.

Tiburon and Cielo both twitched.

Shikamaru looked at me. "You all are scary."

"Get used to it, Shika my dear. This is the Akatsuki." I patted his shoulder. "See you later. I'm going to go and give these brats a lecture complete with Sasori shouting and Itachi guilt trip and angry Sharingan."

"Have fun." Shikamaru told me.

About… fifteen minutes later.

Sasori's eyes narrowed as I finished telling him that Sanaa, Cielo, and Tiburon had left the compound without my permission. He frowned at me before turning his gaze to the three kids standing behind me.

"I hope you know you're all in trouble." He growled.

Sanaa whimpered and shrunk even further away from him. It wasn't that Sasori scared her so much as she hated making him angry. Though, I think he scared her a tiny bit when he was angry too.

Tiburon and Cielo didn't bat an eye. Sasori wasn't the one they were worried about. Tiburon knew I would never let Sasori touch either of them and Cielo knew that he wasn't Sasori's primary target. They were a little afraid of Sasori, but their slight fear of him was nothing compared to their fear of Itachi when he was mad.

"I'm sorry, Sori-Danna." Sanaa said quietly. "Tibby told Hidan-oji where we were going though…"

"You still didn't ask Alice or me if you could leave, brat." Sasori snapped. He stepped back and pointed to the interior of the house. "Kitchen. I'll be letting your father know about this too."

Deidara wouldn't be too happy about Sanaa's little adventure either, but he wasn't as strict as Sasori. And Kathryn would just tell her no and leave it at that. But Sanaa was punished by guilt or even a glare, not being yelled at or spanked.

She was so much easier to take care of.

Sanaa hurried inside, skirting away from Sasori as much as she could. When she was inside, Sasori and I exchanged glances and I had to hide a smirk. Sasori was mad yes, but he would never hurt Sanaa. And he would only hold his anger until just before Sanaa started crying. If a tear fell, he would back down immediately.

I left him to disciplining his brat and herded my kids towards the Uchiha manor. I took my shoes off and checked Sable and Ash's paws for mud before shooing them inside. Sable had just left the foyer when I noticed I was a kid short.

"Tiburon Shisui you get your ass back here." I snapped, glaring at him as he tried to sneak down the hallway to his room.

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and walked back over to me. Cielo hadn't left my side and he followed me silently to the kitchen. I pointed at the table when we reached it and ordered both of them to sit there.

"Itachi!" I shouted. "Get in here!"

About three minutes later, Itachi walked into the kitchen, eyebrows raised. "Alice?"

I pointed at Cielo and Tiburon. "They left the compound without asking anyone. I had to go and look for them. I found them in the park, playing with Shikamaru's genin team."

Itachi's Sharingan span as he turned his attention to the two boys at the table. "Is that right?"

Tiburon bowed his head nervously while Cielo looked down submissively. Their actions were similar, but the reasons were distinctly different. Cielo was obedient and he was submissive when he needed to be. Tiburon, however, was too much like me and he wouldn't submit unless he was forced to.

Even if it was Itachi he had to submit to.

Itachi crossed his arms. "Look at me."

Cielo lifted his gaze to meet Itachi's, though he didn't stare. Tiburon stared.

Itachi noticed the difference in their actions and he glared at Tiburon. "Cielo, you're dismissed. Go to your room and stay there until dinner."

Cielo nodded. "Alright." He patted his leg. "Ash."

Ash followed after Cielo quietly, leaving me, Itachi, Sable, and Tiburon alone in the kitchen.

"Tiburon." Itachi said calmly in a voice that made him sound even more intimidating. "I have a feeling you were the one who coaxed your team into breaking our rules and leaving the compound."

"It's boring in here. There's nothing to do." He said with a sigh.

Itachi's eyebrow twitched. "I don't care how boring it is, Tiburon. Your mother and I, and all of the adults in charge of you have told you that you were not to leave this compound unless your mother or I said you could."

"We told Hidan-oji." Tiburon said quietly.

"You aren't Hidan's responsibility. He isn't your father or mother." Itachi snapped. I stayed quiet, letting Itachi take care of this.

Tiburon crossed his arms. "We didn't leave with strangers or anything."

"That isn't the point." Itachi sighed. "Tiburon, do you remember what happened the last time you and Sanaa left our protection?"

Tiburon looked away from Itachi. "Yes."

"Do you want to go through that again?" Itachi questioned.

Tiburon shook his head with a quiet noise as a negative response.

"Tiburon, look at me when I am talking to you." Itachi ordered. "And speak clearly."

"No." He said, looking up at his dad. "I don't."

Itachi nodded in approval. "Then I suggest you listen to your mother and me." He narrowed his eyes at Tiburon. "We haven't set these rules to make you miserable, Tiburon. And we don't order you around just to order you around. We do it because we love you. I personally would never allow you out of my sight if I could. But I know that isn't possible or fair."

"I know." He said quietly.

"Then why do you not listen to us?" Itachi wondered.

Tiburon shrugged.

"That isn't an answer." Itachi stated.

"How come you guys aren't yelling at Cielo?" Tiburon demanded. "I'm always the one that gets into trouble."

I frowned. "Tiburon, you get into trouble because Cielo actually listens to us and he knows that we're the ones in charge of you. Sanaa listens too and she doesn't mock people when they get mad at her for something she did that was wrong. You do."

"I do not." He protested.

"Tiburon, you never listen to me unless I threaten you and you laugh at me when I get angry at you. Trust me, if I was seriously angry at you, you wouldn't be able to walk or sit down for a month. If that's what it takes to make you understand that you have to mind me, then so be it." I scoffed.

He looked away from me, a frown on his face. "It's still not fair."

"Life isn't fair, Tiburon." I deadpanned, sighing. "You'll have to get used to that. If you listened to me, we wouldn't have this issue."

When Tiburon didn't respond, Itachi sighed. "Tiburon, all we ask is that from now on you listen. If this happens again, not only will you never leave this compound, but I will see to you never leaving this manor. Do I make myself clear?"

Tiburon nodded.

"I want you to say it." Itachi said threateningly. "Nodding your head doesn't tell me you were listening."

Tiburon sighed. "Yes."

"Yes what?" Itachi pressed.

"Yes dad, you made yourself clear. I won't do it again." Tiburon muttered.

Itachi nodded. "You're dismissed. Go to your room."

Tiburon left quietly, a stubborn frown on his face. When he was gone, Itachi glanced at me. "He is your child."

I sighed. "I know."

* * *

><p><em>Sulking Tibby.<em>

**_Fun Fact:_**_ The first section of this chapter, the part in third person when Kisame is preparing for his shower is a tiny excerpt from one of my original stories, altered in order to fit Kisame and the situation at hand. :D  
><em>

Answer: _Madara fucking Uchiha. No questions asked. Yes, I do love Hashirama because he is sexy and he is a really interesting character. But... come on. Look at Madara's fucking hair. Look at his adorable face. And you can't tell me you don't drool when you see him. :) I would do very illegal and very explicit things to him if he was real. Just like I would Itachi.  
>It must be an Uchiha thing.<em>

**QotC:** _Deidara's opinion of art? Or Sasori's? I want one or the other. No in between areas and no disagreeing with them. Which one of their opinions do you like better and why?_

_I've been slacking on this one. I know. Uhmmm... hello- hola. Good bye - Adios (Among lots of other ways to greet someone and say bye.)  
><em>

_Anyways... All of you go and attack Tori-Da-Mutt and xdreamernumbuhfour and Klavieres and make them update their shit. If they update soon and/or you guys give them enough love, I'll update immediately whether I get 0 reviews or 40. (Fourty reviews would be insane though.)  
><em>

_Love you all so very much. You all are amazing.  
><em>

_Ladies, go see Magic Mike.  
><em>

_Gentlemen, I less than three you.  
><em>

_Toodles.  
><em>


	44. Chapter 44

_900+ reviews, eh?_

_Well done, lovelies.  
><em>

_Anyways... 44th chapter.  
><em>

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Quit sulking, Tiburon." I sighed, glancing at my son. "Just because you got scolded doesn't mean you can act like a sourpuss all night. You deserved it."<p>

He glared at me.

"Don't give me that look, brat. I'll knock that glare straight off your face." I snapped, giving him a glare of my own. He held my gaze easily. "That attitude of yours is starting to be a problem."

Tiburon looked away when Itachi glanced over his shoulder.

Cielo elbowed Tiburon. "Lighten up, Tiburon. We shouldn't have left. We both know that. We're lucky we only got a lecture by Itachi and not a tantrum from your mom."

Tiburon glanced at Cielo. "I know Cielo. Shut up."

I rolled my eyes at them and grabbed Itachi's hand. He glanced at me and saw my eye roll. He sighed but didn't comment as we continued down a long road of Konoha, heading to one of the restaurants. Sable and Ash were with Hidan and Kakuzu since Itachi didn't want me to harass any more restaurant owners into allowing Sable inside.

I had gotten pretty violent about it at the last restaurant we went to…

Kisame and Sasuke were behind Cielo and Tiburon, discussing sword tactics boredly. We made it to the restaurant Sasuke had demanded and went inside. It was a nice, quiet little place that served good food from what Sasuke said.

There was only one problem.

_Every_ tourist loved coming here.

The place was filled with foreign Shinobi. It wasn't packed, but it wasn't empty. And all of the people there were sitting around a giant TV at the bar, watching clips from the second exam that were recorded. Also, pictures of the participants were being broadcasted on screens around the giant TV along with their records.

It was like being in a bar back in Ohio. The state where there is an _Applebees'_ every eight miles. The one in the area I lived in broke records for most alcohol sold.

Way to be, Ohio. Fueling the drunks of America…

"Oh fuck my life." I deadpanned. I looked over my shoulder and glared at Sasuke. "I thought you said this was a quiet, nice restaurant."

He sighed. "It usually is. All of the restaurants are going to be like this because of the exam. This is actually a lot more mild and tame than any other we're going to find."

I glared. "You have got to be fucking shitting me."

"I shit you not." Sasuke told me. "Let's just get a table as far away from the bar as possible."

A moment later, a hostess walked over to us and bowed. "Good evening, table for six?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "As far away from that," I pointed to the bar, "as possible please."

She looked over the other areas of the building for a minute before grabbing a few menus and leading us to the furthest corner from the bar. I thanked her and took the corner seat with my back to the wall because I'm paranoid and I can't stand it when people are behind me.

Itachi sat beside me while Tiburon sat next to him. Cielo was across from me on the other side of the table while Sasuke and Kisame sat beside him respectively. The hostess gushed over Sasuke and Itachi while she passed out menus and napkins and all that jazz. Itachi blatantly ignored her, opting to grab my hand and kiss me when she tried giving him a flirtatious smile.

Sasuke didn't even look in her direction or acknowledge her existence.

I love Uchiha men.

She left a moment later, saying something about a Yuna serving us or something. I wasn't listening. I was too busy trying to steal Cielo's shoe with my feet. He was smothering a smirk trying to fight me off.

A chorus of laughter from the bar caught my attention and I looked towards the bar to see a video of Sanaa playing what looked to be like whack-a-mole with an angry genin. She finished up playing by dragging him underground and patting his head sweetly.

I smirked. "She is just like her parents."

Cielo rolled his eyes. "We had been interrogating the other members of his team for the location of their scroll, and she had it the entire time. She didn't know Tiburon and I were looking for it."

Kisame laughed. "That sounds like Sanaa."

"That would be where the communication skills I taught you would have been useful." Sasuke commented, perusing through the menu boredly. "You're supposed to talk with your teammates."

"Sasuke, your teamwork with your genin team was awful most of the time. I don't even want to hear it." I scoffed. "The only one you worked well with was Naruto, and that only lasted when you two weren't trying to kill each other and when you weren't sulking. Though, that might also be because Sakura did nothing more than stand there with a kunai in her hand."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me."

"Oh but I will." I smirked.

"These brats are a lot like my old team was…" Sasuke mused. "Sanaa is definitely the Naruto of the group."

I laughed. "You've got that right."

"Sensei, please don't compare me to the pink haired girl." Cielo sighed.

"It's so strange to hear them call you sensei…" Itachi pointed out, glancing across the table at his brother.

Tiburon glanced at his dad. "I know. That's why I don't."

Sasuke rumpled Tiburon's hair from across the table diagonally before looking at Cielo. "Don't worry, Cielo. You are nothing like Sakura. You are more of the Kakashi of the group."

Cielo sighed. "I suppose the pervert is better than the useless girl."

I snorted with amusement and buried my face into Itachi's shoulder.

"And Tiburon is like me." Sasuke shrugged.

I grinned. "Only less revengeful and emo."

"That's true." Sasuke agreed.

"And cuter." I added. "But not by much." I rumpled Sasuke's hair. "You were, are, and forever will be adorable, Sasuke-Poo."

He glared at me and made a fuss as he fixed his hair.

I elbowed Itachi. "He's so cute when he scowls like that."

Itachi chuckled and poked Sasuke's forehead. "Sorry Sasuke. She's right."

Kisame snickered while Sasuke glowered at us and he looked up when the waitress arrived at the table. She looked a little bored at first, but when she caught a glimpse of my eye candy, her entire being shifted.

"Hello." She said sweetly, leaning a little too close to Kisame than I would have liked. "How is everyone tonight?"

"Hn." Sasuke and Itachi said in unison. Kisame just grinned at her while Cielo and Tiburon shrugged.

I looked at her, smirking at the guys' indifference. "Great. And yourself?"

She smiled at me falsely. "Wonderful."

"Good." I deadpanned, still smirking.

She held my gaze for a moment longer before Itachi sighed and grabbed my chin, forcing me to break eye contact.

"What?" I asked, looking at him.

"Please do not harass our waitress, Alice." Itachi said with a sigh.

I scoffed. "I'm not harassing her. I was exchanging pleasantries. Trust me, she would know if I was harassing her." I looked at our waitress. "Right?"

She just looked between Itachi and I with confusion in her eyes.

Itachi kissed me gently before looking at the waitress. "Excuse her, she's just irritated by the noise from the bar."

"And her close proximity to my shark..." I growled in Spanish. Itachi elbowed me gently while Sasuke, Tiburon, and Kisame smirked.

I had taught all three of them Spanish so we could converse privately no matter where we went. I was still teaching Cielo, but he was learning faster than Tiburon and Sasuke did.

"It's no problem, honey." She said, smiling at Itachi. "Sorry about the noise. They're making bets on the exam." She looked over us before blinking. "You're the Akatsuki…"

"And you should be a rocket scientist." I deadpanned. "What gave us away? It couldn't have been the cloaks."

Itachi glared at me. I just smiled back cheekily.

She looked towards the bar before looking at my kids. "You two are participants?"

Cielo and Tiburon nodded.

"Cielo Oscuro and Tiburon Uchiha?" She asked.

"Yep." Tiburon confirmed.

Yuna's eyes ghosted over Itachi and his resemblance to Tiburon registered in her head before her eyes landed on me. "The Seer?"

I shrugged. "So I've been called."

Her eyes widened. "Do you… know who is going to win?"

"I'm not going to help you win a bet." I deadpanned. "Work for your money. The lottery and betting are only for poor people who cannot count." I paused. "And greedy misers."

"Just one prediction?" She asked. "My father has bet a large sum of money on the exams. We cannot lose."

"No." I glared. "Should you lose, that karma will be on you. Anyone who loses deserves to." I closed my eyes and looked away from her. I could feel my temper rising because betting on children pissed me off a little.

Kakuzu was literally the _only_ exception.

Sasuke looked at our waitress. "Her son is participating in the exam. Regardless of who wins, she will undoubtedly cheer for him. You are asking the wrong person." His eyes narrowed. "And your job, your only certain source of income, is not to pester your customers about things that obviously irritate them. Your job is to cater to them and give them the best service you can." He looked over her critically. "Going off of first impressions, I would say you will not be making much tonight."

Ouch.

That was cold.

I'm so proud of Sasuke.

Yuna quickly composed herself and apologized profusely before taking our orders and venturing off to go and tell the kitchen what to make. When she was gone, I glared at Itachi.

"You yell at me for being straight with our waitress when Sasuke blatantly threatens her." I growled. "How is that fair?"

Itachi sighed. "Sasuke calms down. You do not. Sasuke waits for a _reason_ to be short with her. You started harassing her because she smiled at me and stood a little too close to Kisame than you like. And you call me possessive."

I jabbed him in his stomach, feeling victorious when he jerked away from me. "Kisame is so much nicer than you. I don't know why I didn't marry him instead."

Itachi rolled his eyes while Kisame laughed.

Our food came in good time and we ate peacefully. After we all finished, Tiburon demanded desert and I couldn't tell him no especially when he and Itachi both gave me pouty faces. They even enlisted Kisame's help even though Kisame didn't care whether we got any or not.

Sasuke and Cielo just rolled their eyes at their sweet obsessions.

Just as Yuna was writing down our deserts, the door to the restaurant opened and Kakuzu and Hidan walked in. Both men saw us and walked over. Hidan dragged a chair up beside us while Kakuzu stood beside him, his greedy eyes locked on the bar.

"Hey Hidan. Hey Kakuzu." Kisame greeted.

"Sup assholes?" Hidan grunted. "Ice Bitch."

I sighed, internally laughing at Yuna's distraught face. "Hidan, you're disturbing our waitress. Watch your mouth."

"You're not my fucking mother." Hidan snapped.

"I feel like it 99% of the time." I retorted. "What are you two doing here?"

Hidan threw a thumb in Kakuzu's direction. "He wanted to make some fucking bets. We felt Fish-face's chakra so we came in here. Lo and be-fucking-hold, here you shitheads are."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course he wanted to make bets. Greedy bastard." I waved at Yuna. "I don't want anything. Go ahead and put in their food." She dipped her head and hurried away.

Kakuzu looked back at me. "You love my greediness."

"I do. But it's still ridiculous that you would dare to bet on anyone other than Cielo, Tiburon, and Sanaa. You helped raise the kids." I sighed.

"Money is money." He shrugged. "Watch Hidan for me."

"One of these days they're going to realize that you're getting your info from me and they all will withdraw their bets or hunt you down for cheating." I pointed out before he could leave.

He paused and glanced back at me. "And that's when I take Hidan's leash off and let him please his god."

Hidan grinned.

"I knew you two loved each other." Kisame snickered.

"Fuck you, Kisame." Hidan snapped. Kakuzu rolled his eyes but continued towards the bar.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to the bathroom. You guys wait for your food."

Itachi glanced at me. "Alice…"

"What, Itachi?" I asked, turning slightly to look at him.

"You shouldn't go alone. The restroom is on the other side of the restaurant, through the bar."

"I'll be fine." I assured him. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself and I promise I won't get lost."

Itachi rolled his eyes as his form shifted slightly and a crow detached itself from his person. It cawed and landed on my shoulder. "I do not trust the gamblers."

I sighed and pet the birdy on my shoulder. "Alright. I'll be back in a minute. I'll leave a trail of bread crumbs so I can find my way back."

He dipped his head and took a drink from his tea as I left. I knew his eyes never left me. The bird looked all around me cautiously, but I knew the actual eyes of my husband were locked onto me until I disappeared into the bathroom.

I went to the sink and pulled out the small little kit thing Sasori made me to store my syringe and serum in. It was sealed with chakra so nothing could spill or fall out, but it would open if I pulled at the clasp.

The crow on my shoulder bristled a bit at seeing my drugs and I could feel Itachi's concern through the bird. I glanced at it as I readied my dosage. "It's alright, Itachi. This tension is just making the pain more obvious. I'd rather be able to walk home, so that's why I'm doing it now."

The crow nuzzled my cheek.

"I love you too." I assured him, rolling my eyes.

I injected the serum into my vein before putting everything away and leaving the bathroom. Unfortunately, I was forced to walk through the gamblers to get back to my table, so I sighed tiredly and began my trek through the animated men.

As I walked, I was stopped by a tan hand. Looking up, I saw Kakuzu towering over me. "Alice? What are you doing?"

"I was shooting up in the bathroom." I told him with a shrug.

His eyes landed on the bird on my shoulder and he nodded with approval. "Watch yourself, alright? Three people have already gone to your table to look for you. Apparently your waitress ratted you out."

I sighed. "Wonderful. Thanks Kuzu."

He rumpled my hair and sent me on my way. I squeezed through group after group of gamblers until I reached a long line of men completely blocking my path. I sighed and walked towards them, fully intending on forcing my way through if necessary.

However, I suppose my unique appearance makes me recognizable.

A large man with a shiny Iwa headband around his neck stepped in front of me, far too close for comfort. I glared up at him, narrowing my eyes. "Excuse me."

"You're the Seer, aren't you?" He grunted.

"Not today." I told him. "Today I'm a tired, pissed off woman who wants to go home." The bird on my shoulder nipped my ear but I waved it off. I could handle myself.

The Iwa-nin leaned closer to me and narrowed his eyes. "You can go home after you make a few predictions for me. You see, I've bet a lot of money on that Oscuro brat, and I need to know if I'm going to need to pull out of the bet, or put more on it."

I glared. "Move aside please."

He didn't budge.

"Look asshole, you move now while I'm being polite, or I shove my foot up your ass and move you myself. If that doesn't move you, about twenty feet away are two very tense and protective Uchiha survivors, an ex member of the Seven Swordsmen, and a very possessive psychotic Jashinist who most certainly will." I snapped. "Either way, I'm going to win."

His eyes narrowed and he reached towards me. He had been about to grab my shirt when suddenly, his wrist snapped and he was face first on the ground, with a _very_ angry Itachi digging his foot in his spine.

"I ask that you keep your hands off of my wife." Itachi growled, his Sharingan spinning. "Touch her, and you will wish you stayed home."

I sighed and grabbed Itachi's hand. "Alright, that's enough. Thank you."

Itachi removed his foot from the guy's back and curled a possessive arm around me, glaring at all of the gamblers who looked at us and the scene we caused. He shouldered his way through the gamblers, flashing his Eternal at anyone who dared to look at us. "Kisame, Sasuke, get the boys. We're going."

"Hidan, stay with Kakuzu." I called, walking towards the door with Itachi. I sighed once all six of us were outside. I looked at Itachi and wrapped my arms around his waist. "This is why I always bring Sable with me. She doesn't cause as much of a scene as you do."

Itachi rolled his eyes and kissed the side of my head. "I do not cause scenes. You do."

I glared at him and snagged Kisame's hand since he was walking beside me. "Kisame, let's get married. I'm tired of asshole Uchiha men."

Itachi just rolled his eyes with a sigh while Kisame laughed good-naturedly.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_I'm moving next week, so updates might be a little slow._

Answer: _Probably Deidara's. I'm a pyro and I love fire/explosions. But, I do understand Sasori's opinion. I just support Deidara's first._

**QotC: **_Which tailed beast is your favorite? Not Jinchūriki. So I don't want Naruto or Bee. I mean the actual beast with 1 or more tails.__  
><em>

_**WotC: **deprive - privar  
><em>

_The next chapter is basically just one big, old foreshadowing mess. :/  
><em>

_Also, good work. I know I didn't get 20 reviews for this chapter, but 900 is an accomplishment and Tori updated. The more/faster you guys review, the more/faster I update. ;)  
><em>

_I have work from open to close tomorrow so I probably won't update then, even if you guys prove how amazing you are, and Sunday, Bo has a play date with one of my best friends and his new puppy so expect a later update if we have 20 reviews by that time.  
><em>

_Until next time, my dears.  
><em>


	45. Chapter 45

_Lots of POV changes here._

_I own absolutely nothing besides the OCs and idea.  
><em>

_Enjoy, my beautiful readers.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"I asked you to behave." Pein sighed as he walloped me in the back of the head.<p>

I pouted, rubbing my head and hating the way that Pein made me feel like a child despite me being a mother and all that. "It's not my fault greedy assholes don't know to not touch my kid."

"That 'greedy asshole' was also a very powerful weapons manufacturer in Kiri." Pein stated, glaring down at me.

I scoffed and crossed my arms stubbornly. "I could get you weapons from my world that would blow up entire nations with a huge mushroom cloud."

Pein flicked me in the forehead. "No."

"But…" I began.

"No." He repeated. He waved me away and looked to my husband. "Itachi, do something with her."

Itachi who was being quarantined with Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara by Sasori, Kathryn, Kakuzu, and Zetsu, got to his feet and walked around them. He made his way over to me and Pein before stopping just a few feet in front of our Leader. He took my hand and sighed. "Forgive my inability to control her, Pein-sama. I was likewise… occupied."

"No one touches my fucking baby." I growled, latching onto Itachi because Pein was being fatherly and mean.

You see, there we were, Tiburon and I, walking back to the compound from Kakashi's apartment, when we are cut off by a procession of people heading towards a very pricy inn in the middle of the village. The man in the middle of everything sees Tiburon and marches over to him.

He then put his grubby hands all over my son like one would a horse before they buy it. I, being the possessive and protective mother I am, kicked that son of a bitch in his face. I was only stopped by Kakashi who had thought it wise to follow me.

Tiburon and I were taken to the Hokage's office while Kakashi tried to calm me down. They called Itachi and Kisame in hopes they could soothe me, but Itachi got just as mad. Obviously, the pitiful shaking and the panicky expression on Tiburon's face infuriated him too. He kicked down the Hokage's door and went to find that bastard, his sharky partner bringing up the rear.

Fortunately for the bastard, Pein and Konan had just arrived and saw a pissed of Itachi and Kisame storming through the village. Leader called for the others to restrain the pair before coming to find me.

That's when the scolding started.

Pein pointed at me. "You're grounded."

I gawked. "What? How come?"

"Because you kicked someone in the face." He stated.

I pointed towards Hidan who had gotten pissed, along with Deidara, when they found out what happened. "He fucking kills people for fun! I had a legitimate reason!"

"I don't care, Alice. You're my ambassador, he isn't. Your behavior reflects on me. Everyone knows he's an idiot so his doesn't." Pein said firmly. "No Itachi for two days."

I glared and tightened my grip on Itachi. "Try it."

Pein looked at me before looking at Itachi. "Kakuzu." He gestured between us.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and walked over to me before prying me off of Itachi without much difficulty. Itachi just sighed and let it happen because Pein was giving him "The Look". Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa, stood beside Konan and Sasuke, watching us curiously. Tiburon had since calmed down and was seemingly back to normal.

"Hey!" I snapped, trying to fight Kakuzu. "Pein! You can't ground me from my husband."

"I can do whatever I want." He stated. "Not only am a God and the leader of a village, I am also the Leader of this organization and the boss of you. Kakuzu, she'll be staying with you in your house for the next two days. No exceptions."

"Pein, isn't that a little… harsh?" Konan asked, watching Kakuzu toss me over his shoulder. I made to yell but Kakuzu's threads bound my hands and feet before gagging me.

"Not if it teaches her a lesson." Pein shrugged. "Next time she will think before she acts."

"Next time, it'll be my foot in _your_ face, damn it!" I shouted through the gag which probably just sounded like grumbled garbage. "Or maybe I'll shove it up _your ass_ instead, you fucking asshole!"

Pein stared at me. "Don't make me add another day."

I glared.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and carried me to the house he and Hidan were staying in. He secured the threads around my feet and arms before dumping me on the couch in the living room. "I'll let you go when it's dinner time. Then you can make us food, _if_ you behave." He removed the gag. "Don't make me regret taking that out."

"You fucking suck, Kakuzu." I pouted.

He patted my head. "Deal with it. I'm just following orders."

"Pein sucks worse than you do." I snapped. "Am I allowed to see Tiburon?"

"Probably not." Kakuzu told me.

"Then what am I supposed to do for the next two days?" I whined.

Kakuzu shrugged. "You can help me win money."

I glared. "You greedy son of a bitch."

He chuckled and left the room, leaving me to my bound limbs. I raised my hands to my mouth and started biting on the threads that bound them. There was no way in hell I was going to be deprived of my babies, my shark, and my weasel.

_No __**way**__._

I had just made it through one layer of my binds when the door opened and Kakuzu and Hidan entered the house.

"Where'd you leave the bitch?" Hidan asked from the foyer.

"Living room, on the larger couch." Kakuzu grunted.

I glared and rolled myself into a sitting position before I began scooting away from the couch, using my elbows to army crawl. I made it out of the living room and into the kitchen within a moment and a few tense second later, I managed to sneak into one of the larger cabinets.

"I thought you said you left her on the fucking couch…" Hidan stated, addressing Kakuzu.

"I did." Kakuzu said with a hint of shock in his voice. "Her hands and legs were bound together too."

"Well we better fucking find her because Leader will have our asses if she gets out." Hidan growled.

I frowned and continued chewing on my binds. I celebrated a small victory when I managed to get my hands free but I stayed quiet, listening to Hidan and Kakuzu search the house.

As quietly as I could, I began setting up the contents of the cabinet I was hiding in between me and the outside world so I would have more cover if they looked in here instead of just seeing me trying to free myself.

Satisfied that I was hidden, I pulled the knife out of my boot that had previously been inaccessible to me because of the way my legs and hands were bound. Now that my hands were free, I was able to slip it out of my shoe and begin sawing at the numerous threads wrapped around my legs and ankles.

"Shit…" Hidan swore. "Where the fuck would she be?"

Kakuzu grunted. "I have no idea. Let's search the yards. Get Sable if you can, but be quiet about this. We can't have Pein-sama catching on."

"Sounds good, shithead." Hidan agreed.

I scoffed quietly at their idiocy and finished freeing my legs. I smirked to myself and quietly emerged from my cabinet. I made it to the back door without difficulty and I snuck outside. I darted to the wall separating Hidan and Kakuzu's yard from the Uchiha manor's. I skillfully climbed over it, my past skill coming back to me.

I might not look it, but I'm fucking sneaky if I need to be. I used to be a little bit of a delinquent when I was a kid. I was a pro at Break-ins. Fence jumping was nothing new to me.

And I mean that in a literal sense.

I landed skillfully, thankful to the guys for increasing my physicality, and I hurried through the backyard to the patio of the Uchiha manor. I had just taken a step on the hard wood, when I was lifted off my feet.

Kakuzu stood behind me, holding me off the ground by the back of my shirt like a badly behaving puppy. He gave me a look and I returned it with a sheepish smile.

"Nice try." He told me. He reached into my shoe and took my knife before tossing it over his shoulder. Hidan caught it skillfully from his place behind Kakuzu and grinned at me.

I pouted. "So mean."

Kakuzu rebound me and tossed me to Hidan. Hidan caught me and threw me over his shoulder before following Kakuzu back over the wall that separated our yards. He carried me back into the house and sat on the couch with me while Kakuzu stood in front of us.

"Alice." Kakuzu said in a scolding tone.

"I'm a fucking adult!" I whined. "I have a child and I'm married! Where does Pein get off treating me like I'm a kid? Hidan at least acts like a child and he's never been grounded before!"

Kakuzu stared at me. "Alice, you're whining."

"I don't give a shit! Being away from Itachi and Tiburon is detrimental to my health!" I snapped. "I'm not doing _shit_ for him!"

Kakuzu sighed. "Alice, you kicked a very powerful man in the face."

"And I'd have kicked the Raikage in the face if he dared to touch my son like he was a piece of meat!" I shouted. "Tiburon isn't an animal! He's a nine year old boy! He's _my_ son! This is ridiculous! Why am I even arguing about this?" I glared at Kakuzu. "Let. Me. _Go_."

"No." He said simply.

"KISAME!" I screamed.

About thirty seconds later, a knock sounded on the door. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and walked out of the room to greet whoever was at the door. "What?" I heard him ask.

"Why is Alice screaming my name?" Kisame's raspy voice asked. "Move Kakuzu."

"She's just pissed because Pein's punishing her for being temperamental." Kakuzu deadpanned.

"_Move_ Kakuzu." Kisame repeated.

"I doubt Pein is letting her have visitors." Kakuzu stated.

"You have five seconds to get out of my way." Kisame snapped.

I heard something slam six seconds later before heavy footsteps sounded and Kisame marched into the living room. He sighed when he saw me tied up on the couch beside Hidan and he walked over to me. He shoved Hidan out of his way before sitting beside me.

He wrapped his arms around me and let me bury my face into his neck. "You okay?"

"No." I muttered. "I'm pissed."

Kisame kissed the top of my head and tightened his grip on me. "Sorry, Alice."

"It's not your fault. It's fucking Pein's." I stated. "What did you do to Kakuzu?"

"Nothing." Kisame stated. "I just kicked the door down to make more room for me to walk around him." He pet my hair gently. "You know I can't break you out, right?"

I nodded. "I don't want you to get into trouble. I'm just not in the mood to talk to Kakuzu because he's heartless despite the fact that he has five of them."

"What about Hidan?" Kisame wondered.

"He'll just bitch." I grunted. "And since I can't have Itachi, you're the next best thing. Ever."

Kisame chuckled and hugged me. "Thanks."

"The reason I have you staying here is a punishment, Alice. It defeats the purpose if you're being comforted by those I am separating you from."

I glared towards the door. "Well fuck you too."

Pein narrowed his eyes at me. "Alice. Stop acting like a child."

"You never said anything about being separated from Kisame, Tiburon, or Cielo. Therefore, I can have them if I want." I retorted. "And I didn't go to the manor. He came here."

"Kisame." Pein said coldly.

Kisame sighed and kissed the top of my head. "Sorry Al."

I sighed and put my head on the back of the couch as Kisame got up to leave. "Hidan!"

Hidan peeked in from the kitchen. "What bitch?"

"Can I go to my room? I don't want to talk to the asshole pincushion." I stated. "And Kisame has to leave." I looked over myself. "I can't exactly walk with Kakuzu's tentacles binding my limbs together."

Hidan glanced at Pein who was pinching the bridge of his nose. He shrugged and walked in before picking me up and carrying me to one of the spare bedrooms. He set me on the bed and rumpled my hair. "Yell if you need something, bitch."

I sighed. "Can you untie me?"

Hidan looked around before performing a few hand signs and slapping the window sill. He did the same thing to the door before walking over to me and cutting off the threads holding me with the same knife Kakuzu had stolen from me.

Hidan patted my head before walking out of the room and leaving me to my own devices. I rubbed my wrists and buried my face into the pillows of my bed and sighing dejectedly. "Stupid Pein… treating me like a five year old."

"I can hear you, you know." Pein said calmly.

I ignored him.

"Alice, you need to learn to control yourself." Pein stated. "I do not want to deal with another Sonido incident."

I continued to ignore him.

"If you insist on acting like a teenager, I will treat you like one. If you want to attend the exams, you had better think about that." Pein snapped. "Alice."

I glared over my shoulder at him. "Go away."

"Listen to me and I will." Pein stated.

"I am listening to you. I'm _trying_ to keep myself from telling you off." I retorted. "You're treating me like a kid because some guy touched my son like he was a piece of meat. If someone was to touch Konan like that, you'd kill them in a heartbeat. Why is my _nine-year-old_ son any different? You should be backing me for the simple fact that someone manhandled my child and because you're our Leader. But you're not."

Pein sighed. "There are other ways to handle it besides kicking him in the face. You will make unnecessary enemies, Alice."

"Not for me." I stated. "It was an instinctual reaction. You're lucky I didn't sick Sable on him, because I had been about to but I knew I shouldn't kill him. Hurting him would be enough. And fuck enemies. Bring them on."

"You couldn't have settled for slapping him in the face?" Pein wondered.

"His face was closer to my foot." I shrugged. "And the look of fear on Tiburon's face kind of sent me into a rage."

Pein sighed. "Next time, learn some restraint Alice. Or I will resort to crueler punishments."

I scoffed but didn't comment as he left.

I hate men with power.

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Itachi sighed as another round of shouting sounded from the house beside his. He glanced at his brother who was rolling his eyes.

"What number is this?" Sasuke wondered.

"This will be her fifth escape attempt, according to Kakuzu." Itachi sighed.

Kisame grunted from his lounging spot on the grass a few feet from the brothers. He was using Sable as a pillow. Tiburon and Cielo were supposedly meditating on stones that protruded from the pond in backyard.

"Sixth, actually."

Itachi looked around and he dipped his head. "Leader-sama."

Pein walked over to his subordinates. "This is just as much of a punishment for you two as it is for her. You should know better."

Itachi sighed and looked away from his Leader. Kisame opened his eyes and narrowed them at their pierced ginger before looking away. "You didn't see the look of fear on Tibby's face."

Pein glanced towards Tiburon. "Regardless of what happened, you could have handled it better. The way you three dealt with it was reckless and immature."

"Yes." Itachi nodded. "We could have killed him."

"Itachi." Pein growled.

Itachi looked at him. "No one touches my son."

Pein narrowed his eyes at Itachi before launching a kunai in Tiburon's direction. It sliced a large wound in his arm before burying itself in the wall behind him. Kisame and Itachi both froze and glared at Pein. Itachi's Sharingan span threateningly while Kisame's chakra flared. Pein returned their glares easily. Kisame and Itachi made to comment, only to jump to their feet when Tiburon burst into smoke.

"Tiburon?" Sasuke wondered.

"Cielo, where is Tiburon?" Itachi asked.

Cielo opened his eyes and glanced at the vacant rock beside him. "He hasn't been here since Pein-sama sent his mother off. He felt guilty because he believed it was he who caused her to get into trouble. He made a clone around that time and hasn't made himself known since."

Kisame swore and whistled. "Sable!"

Sable hopped to her feet and cocked her head to the side.

"Find Tibby, Sable." Kisame ordered.

Sable howled and sniffed the air before jumping over the back wall, fueling her muscles with chakra to make the jump.

Itachi sighed. "He must have left the compound." He shook his head. "Kisame, I will follow Sable. You alert the others. We need to find him before dark and before Alice learns of his absence."

Cielo looked up at Itachi. "Want me to help?"

"Stay with Sasuke." Itachi advised. He shot a look at Pein before jumping over the fence and chasing after the wolf.

Sasuke stood. "Come on, Cielo. We'll go find Naruto and Kakashi and get them to help us look."

Cielo nodded and stood. He walked over to Sasuke before glancing at Pein. "If Tibby gets hurt, I think Alice might kill him in his sleep."

"She'd have to beat Itachi to it." Sasuke told him.

Pein rolled his eyes and jumped onto Hidan and Kakuzu's roof before jumping into the yard of the house he was staying in with Konan. He walked into it and sighed, shaking his head. "Kids."

**First Person Alice!**

I glared at the wall and yanked on the threads Kakuzu had used to tie me to the bed to keep me in the room. Not that I could leave now anyways. He had strengthened Hidan's seals so I couldn't leave. It used to just alert them if I did, now it prevented leaving.

"Fucking jerks." I snapped.

"Mom?"

I looked around and smiled at seeing Tiburon. "Hi baby. What are you doing here?"

"I snuck in." He shrugged. "I felt bad because you got in trouble."

"Awe, Tibby, that isn't your fault." I soothed. I reached for him. "Come here, baby."

He walked to me and climbed on the bed. I wrapped him up in a hug and held him tightly in my lap, stroking his hair. He buried his face into my shoulder and hugged me back, sighing contently.

"I missed you." I told him.

He nodded but didn't speak.

"You tired, Tibby?" I asked, petting him.

"Yeah." He grunted. "I used a lot of chakra."

"I know. You worked hard with Kakashi today." I praised.

He shook his head. "Not like that. I made like fifteen clones and sent them through the village as a diversion. I had to concentrate really hard on one of them so I could fool Sable."

I smiled and hugged him tighter. "That's my baby."

He smirked and returned my hug.

I stroked his hair and kissed his head. "My little ninja…"

* * *

><p>I shifted slightly in my sleep and smiled when I felt whatever my arms were wrapped around cuddle closer to me. I hugged the mass tighter and buried my face into its silky black hair. "Hi baby."<p>

He grunted. "More sleep."

I glanced at the clock to see it was half past three in the morning. "Keep sleeping then. It's too early for you to be up."

He nodded and cuddled further into me.

"I wonder if they found all of your clones yet…" I mused.

Tiburon opened his eyes tiredly and nodded. "They did. I feel kinda bad because Dad, Sasuke, and Kisa are really worried. So is Sanaa."

"Maybe you should go back." I stated.

He shook his head. "Cielo knows where I'm at. He'll tell Dad if he resorts to drastic measures."

"Oh." I nodded. I shrugged. "Whatever. As long as I get to keep you, I'm fine."

Tiburon smiled slightly and permitted me to hug him tighter. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Tiburon." I assured him.

**Third Person!**

Itachi sighed and ran a hand through his bangs as he met with Sasuke at the front of the compound. "Any luck?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No."

Itachi looked at Cielo who looked utterly bored. "Cielo, did Tiburon tell you anything?"

Cielo glanced at Itachi and shrugged. "He might have."

"Cielo." Itachi said firmly. "If Tiburon told you something, tell us."

"I can't." Cielo stated. "He asked me not to."

Sasuke put his hand on Cielo's shoulder. "Cielo, what are you hiding?"

"Would it make you feel any better if I told you Tiburon was completely and utterly safe?" Cielo wondered.

Itachi crossed his arms. "Where is your proof?"

"That'll be obvious when the time is right." Cielo told him with a slight smirk. "I'm tired. Let's go back."

Itachi sighed and looked at Sasuke. "Go and get some rest, Sasuke. I will keep an eye out for him."

Sasuke gave his brother a look. He wasn't stupid. Itachi didn't want to sleep without Alice. Without Alice, Itachi's skeletons came out of his closet. Without Alice, Itachi relived his past.

"Alright, Nii-san." Sasuke stated. "Come on, Cielo."

Itachi watched them go before sighing and heading after them, intending on finding a good spot for him to watch over the area in case Tiburon came home on his own. As he walked, he noticed Sasori sitting on the porch to the house he was sharing with Deidara, Kathryn, and Sanaa.

"Any luck?" Sasori wondered.

Itachi shook his head. "None."

"Kisame and Sable came back a while ago." Sasori stated.

"I sent them home." Itachi nodded. "Have you seen him?"

Sasori shook his head. "No. But it has been awfully quiet at Hidan and Kakuzu's house."

Itachi frowned. "You…"

"It's possible." Sasori shrugged.

Itachi's eyes narrowed as his form wavered. A crow detached itself from his cloak and it cawed before flying off into the night's sky.

The crow zoomed over the compound before dipping into a nosedive beside a particular house. It pulled out of the dive and glided gracefully into the open bathroom window. It landed on the sink and looked around for a moment before flying into the adjourning bedroom.

The crow landed on the bedpost and its original host sighed with relief at what was on the bed. The crow hopped of the bedpost and landed on the hip of the brunette woman who was holding the youngest Uchiha.

Alice shifted slightly in her sleep and opened her eyes. She looked around for a moment before her eyes landed on the crow on her leg. She smiled and stroked the crow's chest. "This is a tease."

The crow cooed quietly and nipped her hand. She rolled her eyes. "He's been in here the whole time."

The crow puffed up angrily.

"Oh shut up. You should have checked here first." She said with an eye roll. "And you can thank Pein for one of the night terrors he had last night and the asshole who touched him for the other."

The crow disappeared in a puff of smoke and was replaced by Itachi a second later. Itachi knelt over Alice and he stroked her cheek before kissing Tiburon's head. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah." She nodded. She kissed Itachi fully before tugging on his arm. "Stay."

"I shouldn't." Itachi sighed. "Leader will not take kindly to this."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Fuck Pein. We'll leave."

Itachi kissed her again. "How bad were they?"

Alice stroked Tiburon's hair. "He woke up screaming because of the second one. The first one, he woke up and started crying." She closed her eyes. "He hates it when people touch him as it is because of Sonido… That asshole touching him didn't help."

"I should go." Itachi whispered.

"Don't." Alice begged. "Please?"

"Alice, I don't want to get you into any more trouble." Itachi stated. "For some reason, Pein is in a foul mood."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Konan probably isn't putting out because he's an asshole."

Itachi snorted with amusement but shook his head. "I'm serious, Alice. Something is wrong with him."

"I've noticed it too." Alice muttered. She sighed and kissed him again before letting him go. "Take Tiburon with you. That way he doesn't get into trouble."

Itachi nodded. He picked up Tiburon, wincing when Tiburon stirred. Tiburon reached for his mom and frowned he didn't get her. He opened his eyes and tensed.

"Easy, Tiburon." Itachi soothed. "I've got you."

Tiburon relaxed. "Put me down, Dad."

"We're going back to the manor, Tiburon." Itachi told him.

"I want to stay with Mom." Tiburon protested.

Itachi kissed Tiburon's forehead. "It will get her in more trouble, Tiburon. One more night without her, and then she will be ours once more."

Tiburon leaned back into his father, fatigue winning out. "Love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Tiburon." Alice assured him. "Be good and listen to your Daddy." Alice looked at Itachi and sighed. "I love you, Itachi."

"And I love you." Itachi told her. "Get some sleep."

She scoffed and returned her head to her pillow when Itachi and Tiburon disappeared from the room. "Highly unlikely."

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Kathryn!<strong>

"She's in a pissy fucking mood." Hidan stated, looking at me and Deidara as we sat at the table. Sanaa was in his lap, drinking some orange juice and looking freaking adorable like always. Even though she was older now, she was never too old to sit on one of her uncle's or her daddy's lap.

"Of course she's in a pissy mood, un." Deidara scoffed. "Pein's separating her from her kid and her husband. I mean, Alice can barely function with one of them being away her, let alone both yeah. He could at least let her see Tibby un."

I sighed and leaned my head on Deidara's shoulder. "She probably hasn't slept." I stood a second later. "I'm going to check on her."

"Don't bother." Danna stated as he entered the room. "She's in a bad mood. I think she might kill Pein if he comes in here."

Danna had come with us to check on Alice for some reason. He didn't say why, just that he had the feeling he needed to.

"Is she okay, Danna?" I wondered.

Danna nodded. "She's fine physically. She's just mad."

"So, did you guys fucking find Tibby?" Hidan asked.

Sanaa looked back at Hidan. "Yeah, Tachi found him. Tibby's been sleeping all day though."

"Apparently, he used up a lot of chakra yesterday and he had two night terrors." Danna explained. "Alice wasn't happy about that."

"You told her?" Hidan demanded. "Do you know how badly that's gonna fucking piss her off? She'll be breaking down the fucking wall in no time."

Danna waved off his demands. "She isn't going to do anything. Tiburon was in there with her last night. She told me."

"Does Pein know, yeah?" Deidara wondered.

Danna shook his head. "No, and don't tell him either. Something's off about him. Something is bothering him to where he's doing out of character things. I don't like it."

Hidan glanced at Danna. "You've noticed to too then?"

"The second he arrived I could tell something was off." Danna nodded.

Deidara tightened his grip on me. "Whatever it is, it's making Konan really tense too, yeah. She didn't even return Kathryn and Sanaa's hugs, un."

I pouted. "I thought she was mad at me, but it turns out she was just in like a trance. She apologized to me afterward, but she seemed distant." My eyes widened and a shot to my feet. "Oh my Pein!"

"What?" Danna asked, raising his eyebrow at me.

"What if Konan's pregnant?" I demanded.

Hidan choked on his drink and Deidara paled a little. Danna made a thoughtful face.

"Can Leader… ya know…" Hidan wondered, coughing. "Isn't he a fucking dead body?"

Danna glanced at Hidan. "The body we see is indeed a dead body. However, our true Leader is a living human being. He should be capable of reproduction."

Deidara made a face. "They were in Ame while we were gone, un…"

"That _has_ to be it!" I declared. "I'mma go ask!"

I turned to run out of the room, only to be grabbed by Danna. I struggled against his chakra strings and whined. "Danna! Let me go!"

"Leave Leader and Konan alone." He ordered.

"Danna!" I whined. "Lemme go!"

"No." He repeated. "Sit, brat."

Sanaa giggled at me. "Mommy, you're so goofy."

I smiled at her. "You're so cute!"

She returned my smile cheerfully.

Hidan sighed. "Jashin-damn it."

I looked around at him and raised my eyebrow. "What?"

"I'm going to kick her fucking ass." Hidan growled as he got to his feet. "The bitch is trying to break out of her fucking room _again_."

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, bout dat...<em>

_**Fun Fact: **I just met you, and this is crazy... but I'm the author... so call me Dani? Yeah. I just went there.  
><em>

Answer: _I love the ninetails. He's cute, a fox, and an asshole. :D_

**QotC:** _Favorite _Jinchūriki? Both past and present.__

__**WotC: **vaso de agua - glass of water. (Relevancy = 0)  
><em>_

__ZetsusNeko - What the hell are you talking about?  
><em>_

__Anonymous - Gracias:)  
><em>_

__All of my reviewers - I love you. Thank you all for the continued support and all that nice stuff. You guys truly are amazing.  
><em>_

__See you~  
><em>_


	46. Chapter 46

_*cracks fingers*  
><em>

_Prepared to be disappointed.  
><em>

_Enjoy if possible.  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

I slammed both of my hands down on the kitchen table in Pein and Konan's house, causing both of them to twitch. "Alright, I've had it."

Pein gave me a look. "Had what?"

I glared at him. "You're acting weird and I don't like it." I pointed at him and looked at Konan. "Did he knock you up?"

Pein choked on his drink. Even though he was a dead body and all that, I guess the body eating was Nagato's way of getting nutrients or something. I don't know. I don't pretend to know how crazy men with god complexes work.

Konan awkwardly coughed a bit and looked at me seriously. "No, Alice. I'm not pregnant."

"Damn it." I sighed, slapping the table and causing her to laugh. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Then you have no excuse." I pointed at Pein. "You're being an asshole, and Konan has been acting distant." I straightened up and crossed my arms. "What's going on? All of us have noticed and all of us are concerned."

Pein entwined his fingers after setting down his coffee. "As of right now, it is nothing you all need to be concerned with. In time, it will make itself apparent. Right now, however, I want all of you to focus on the exams, the kids, and security measures."

I narrowed my eyes, meeting his gaze easily. He kept eye contact, waiting for me to protest his avoidance of the question, or to accept his answer.

"Fine." I said, obviously calmer. "But I'm only accepting that bullshit answer because I trust you, Pein." I tapped the table. "Don't make me regret that. If something bad happens to anyone because of you not telling us, I'll shove my foot up that pierced ass of yours."

"I won't allow anything to happen." Pein told me smoothly.

"Alright." I stated. "Be happy too, because it's making me uncomfortable. And maybe, I'll apologize for being rude."

Pein sighed. "Alice."

"I'm leaving, don't get your panties in a bunch." I said with an eye roll. I hugged Konan briefly, twitched at Pein in farewell, before heading out of their house and onto the main street of the Uchiha compound.

I sighed and stretched, looking around boredly. The exams would be starting tomorrow, so the kids were quarantined to the training grounds with Itachi, Kisame, Sasuke, Kakashi, Sasori, Deidara, and Kakuzu. Hidan was left behind to babysit Kathryn and I. Zetsu had been spending some time at the Yamanaka's shop, helping Ino take care of the flowers there because he had been a little insulted about the conditions of the flowers.

It was fucking hilarious to see that conversation.

I whistled. "Sable!"

A howl from down the street was my answer and Sable hopped over a low fence before galloping over to me. She skidded to a stop before me and cocked her head to the side, looking adorable.

I smirked and stroked her head gently before patting my leg. "Where's Ash?"

Sable glanced around and I followed her gaze to see Ash sitting on the fence, licking his paw absently. I smiled and called for him. "Ash, come on boy. We're gonna go wander."

Ash lowered his paw and looked around before hopping off the fence and meandering his way over to me stoically. He was a lot like Cielo when it came to amount of enthusiasm.

Or lack thereof.

I pet him for a second when he reached me before walking towards Kathryn's house to find her. As expected, she was tormenting Hidan who was sitting on her porch. He was blatantly ignoring her as she poked and prodded him, trying to let her do his nails.

"Kat, leave Hidan alone." I smirked.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "He won't let me paint his nails."

"I don't blame him." I deadpanned.

Hidan pointed at me. "Thank you, bitch!"

I waved him off. "Whatever. Let's go wander. I'm sick of being in this stupid compound and without the kids to tease, Itachi to molest, Sasori to annoy, Deidara to wrestle, and Kisame to cuddle there's nothing to do."

"What about Kakuzu?" Kathryn wondered.

"I've had enough of him for the past few days." I sighed. "Him and his tentacles."

"Kinky…" Kathryn mused.

I snorted. "And this is why I love you."

She smiled cheerfully at me. "Duh!" She skipped around Hidan and hopped down the stairs of the deck they were on to glomp me. "My Momma."

I returned her hug. "I love you too, Kat." I looked at Hidan. "Join this love fest, my fellow Jashinist."

Hidan scoffed. "Fuck that. You bitches are crazy."

Kathryn and I exchanged a look before we both darted up the stairs and latched onto Hidan. I nuzzled his face like a cat while Kathryn took it to the next stage and licked the side of his face.

"Ew! You nasty ass bitch!" Hidan snapped. "Don't lick my fucking face!"

I cackled while Kathryn giggled madly. "You love it!"

"You two are fucking insane." He growled.

"You would know, love." I cooed, petting his face. "Now come. We're gonna go on an adventure."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just fucking let me go."

"Never." I told him. I grabbed his hand and tugged on it. "You get to strut about Konoha with two babes on either side of you. Feel privileged."

"And hot." Kathryn added.

Hidan scoffed. "Maybe if you two weren't already fucking married with two shitty brats, I would. Now I just feel like I'm a fucking escort."

"A hot escort." I corrected. "Even though I'm married, I still have to admit you are sexy, Hidan."

"Tell me something I don't fucking know." He said with an eye roll.

"I've had a threesome before." I stated.

Hidan did a double take. "What?"

I shrugged. "That's something you didn't know."

He looked between Kathryn and me multiple times, his mouth agape. "Wait a fucking minute! With who?"

I tapped his nose gently. "That's for me to know, and you to never find out." Entwining my right arm with his left and patting my leg for Sable and Ash to follow me, I led Hidan, Kathryn, and my fuzzy babies out of the compound and into the lively streets of Konoha.

"So, we get epic seats for the exams." I mused, looking around boredly.

"We do?" Kathryn wondered.

I nodded. "They're pretty much where the Kage sit, but closer. Zetsu and Konan are going to be sitting with Pein on the Kage platform, but the rest of us are a little bit below them which is good, because I don't want to be hounded by people about the matches."

"Who do you think is going to win?" Kathryn wondered.

I glanced at her. "Honest opinion?"

She nodded.

I shrugged. "Cielo or Tiburon. And potentially that white haired kid on Shika's team. I've heard _really_ impressive things about him."

"That's a little fucking biased, don't you think?" Hidan asked.

"A bit, yeah. But Tiburon has had almost nine years of intensive training by nine of the world's most dangerous and skilled criminals as well as a number of other renowned Shinobi. He has the Sharingan, and he has excellent chakra control and a superior amount." I stated. "Cielo is naturally gifted and he has a good head on his shoulders. He might not have trained as intensively as Tiburon has, but he has drive and he's just as good in different ways."

Kathryn pouted. "What about Sanaa?"

"She would forfeit the second she had to fight Tiburon or Cielo." I sighed. "She's far too sweet to fight either of them, though she would give them a run for their money. She's a strong little girl too. If she doesn't fight either of them early on, she will go really far."

Kathryn nodded, considering what I said. "She is too sweet."

"It's one of her best qualities." I smirked.

Hidan glared at the street before us. "If anyone fucking hurts those brats, I'll find their asses after the match and sacrifice them to Jashin-sama."

"I'll hold them down for you." I assured him. He grinned at me.

"Hey Alice!"

I glanced around and raised my eyebrow at seeing Shikamaru, Genma, and Neji walking towards me. I stopped, pulling Hidan around and rolling my eyes when Kathryn latched onto Shikamaru.

"Sup guys?" I asked, looking over the three Jōnin. Shikamaru was a Jōnin like his papa now. Like father like son. All of the rookies had Jōnin at this point though. A few of them were in ANBU. "Why aren't you training your students?"

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly after Kathryn finally released him to try and steal Genma's senbon. "Tsunade-sama had work for me to do."

"Clan business." Neji replied smoothly, patting Kathryn's head when she hugged him.

I nodded. "Makes sense. What'd you need?"

Genma smirked at me. "Tsunade-sama wants to know if you'll be an 'assistant proctor' for the exam."

"Isn't that a bit… unfair seeing as my son and adopted kid are competing?" I wondered.

"She already cleared it with all of that Kage. They believe that it would be better for you to be seen by everyone watching over all of the competitors rather than potentially sneaking around and helping just your son." Genma shrugged. He chuckled. "Plus, with your ability, you can tell me if a fight is going to turn out badly or not so I can try to prevent any deaths."

I sighed and shrugged. "Sure. I'll do it. But did Tsunade ask Pein?"

Neji nodded. "Yes she did. He agreed it would be a good idea. In fact, I think he was the one who suggested it. It was either him or Ōnoki-sama."

Hidan glared. "Like hell we're gonna fucking let her out there. She's in fucking danger out there."

"Yes, Pein-sama mentioned the opposition of the other Akatsuki members." Shikamaru stated. "He asked that Sable be permitted into the arena with you because anyone else would be considered favoritism or something like that."

"Hidan." I soothed, grabbing him when he made to snap at Shikamaru. "I'll be fine. It's not like you guys can't be down there the instant something happens. Besides, I trust Genma to keep anyone from hurting me."

Genma nodded. "Alice is far to entertaining to lose."

I smirked at him and pulled Hidan back to my side. "Easy."

"I don't fucking like this." He snarled.

Kathryn hugged him. "It's okay, Hidan. Alice will be fine. Sable will be with her."

Sable barked at the sound of her name and looked around.

"Itachi is not going to like this." I sighed.

"Like that has ever stopped you before." Kathryn scoffed.

I shrugged. "He's my bitch. What can I say?"

Neji and Shikamaru chuckled at me while Genma and Hidan laughed. Kathryn giggled and nodded, agreeing with me.

"Well, it's getting late and I'm fucking starving." Genma grunted. "I'm heading back so I can get dinner before everything is packed with spectators and tourists."

I glanced up at the sky and sighed. "We should probably head home too. I have to make dinner for all of you idiots."

"It's about fucking time." Hidan growled. He picked me up randomly before doing the same to Kathryn. "See you fuckers later." He whistled. "Sable, Ash!"

"Hidan!" I snapped when he took off towards the compound with Sable and Ash following behind us. Ash broke off shortly after to take a shortcut and be all stealthy. Sable tried to trip Hidan…

Despite the fact that he was carrying Kathryn and I and running at dangerous speeds…

It's a good thing he didn't fall.

* * *

><p>When we got home, I clarified what I was told with Pein and he pretty much ordered me to do it, even though I had already agreed to. Once being bossed around by god was out of the way, I started on dinner.<p>

I had just finished when three tired little kids trudged into the kitchen, followed by an extremely amused Kisame, Deidara, and Kakashi. Itachi, Sasuke, and Sasori walked in a moment after them, talking quietly, and Kakuzu followed after them a second later, looking bored.

"What's so funny?" I asked as I set the table, adding a plate more than normal because of Kakashi. I promised him I would feed him because I love him.

Deidara looked at me. "Nothing, un."

I rolled my eyes. "For some reason, I feel like I don't want to know."

Kisame kissed the top of my head. "You don't."

"Does it have to do with a series of books Kakashi is rather fond of?" I wondered.

Kakashi coughed guiltily. "Maybe."

"Perverts." I deadpanned, swatting all three of them with a dishtowel. "Sasori, monitor your brat."

Sasori looked at me boredly. "Monitor your shark."

"Which one?" I asked.

"The blue one." He deadpanned.

I looked at Kisame and pointed at him. "No perverseness."

He pouted.

"There." I said with satisfaction, looking at Sasori.

Sasori rolled his eyes and pointed at Deidara. "No idiocy."

Deidara glared at him.

"There." Sasori mocked, looking at me without emotion.

I laughed. "Good work, Loofa." I snickered at his glare at the old cat name before kissing Itachi when he walked over to me. "Hey sexy."

"You called?" Hidan asked, glancing at me.

"Shut the hell up, Hidan." I snapped. "I wasn't talking to you."

He grinned. "But you didn't deny that I'm sexy."

I threw a fork at him, smirking when he dodged it, only to get hit in the face by a cup thrown by Itachi.

Said weasel rubbed his nose against mine when Hidan started swearing. "Hello." He greeted gently. "Thank you for the food."

"You're welcome." I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck as he curled his around my waist. "Hidan wishes he was as sexy as you."

"Alright, knock it off you two." Pein scolded. "Save that for your rooms."

I stared at him before pulling Itachi into a very intimate kiss. When I released him, I looked at Pein. "You should have thought about that before you grounded me from him for two days."

"I know full well you cheated during that time too." Pein deadpanned. "I don't want to hear it."

I gave him a sheepish smile and released an amused Itachi. "Whoops?"

"Yeah." He agreed dully. "Whoops."

"How did you know?" I asked.

He pointed at his eyes. "These are not just for decoration, Alice. And Zetsu has more uses than cleaning up after Hidan."

I smirked at him. "You're a pervert too, aren't you Pein?"

"Alice." He growled.

"So, who wants rice?" I asked, turning around under the threatening glare he gave me. I ignored the laughter from the others and began dishing out the food for everyone to consume. When I was finished with that, I took my seat between Itachi and Tiburon.

"How did training go?" Kathryn wondered, using a wet rag to wipe at the dirt on Sanaa's face. "You three are filthy."

"It went well." Sasori stated. "They're filthy because Deidara put bombs in the mud because he's a moron."

Deidara glared at him. "I was teaching them, Danna un!"

"Yeah, we learned how mad Sori-Danna gets when he gets muddy." Tiburon snickered. "And we learned that Dei screams like a girl when Sori-Danna sends his puppets after him."

Kisame and Kakashi snickered while Itachi and Kakuzu chuckled. Deidara glared at Tiburon who just returned the look with a cheeky smile.

"Damn brat, un." Deidara growled.

"Don't talk to my son like that, or I'll poison your food." I snapped.

"You all are so friendly." Kakashi commented.

Everyone looked at him. "No we're not."

Hidan pointed at him. "I'll fucking kill you."

"Hidan, don't make me come over there." I glared. "Touch Kakashi and I'll slice your eyes out and nail them to your fucking tits."

Sasuke made a face a looked at me. "I'm trying to eat, Alice."

I shrugged.

Kakashi chuckled and looked at me from Sasuke's side. "I wonder how they will last without you there to monitor them at the exam tomorrow, Alice."

Itachi paused in eating to look at Kakashi. "What do you mean?"

"Uh oh." I whined. "Pein, you're telling them because I'm not getting bitched at."

Pein put down his glass and looked over his subordinates. "Alice will be helping proctor the exam. She will not be sitting with any of you. She will be in the arena with Genma who is also proctoring the exam."

Silence followed his announcement for a second before an uproar exploded.

"Leader-sama." Itachi began in protest.

"Absolutely not. She needs to help me make bets on the matches."

"It's too dangerous for her to be in the middle of a Shinobi fight."

"Over my dead body."

"She'll get hurt! Are you kidding, un!"

I face-palmed. Kakashi looked over the occupants of the room curiously and Sasuke was frowning at his food though he didn't protest. The kids simply ignored the entire ordeal since none of them cared. Kathryn continued trying to wipe the mud off of Sanaa.

"Quiet." Pein ordered.

Silence ensued.

Pein sighed and narrowed his eyes. "This has already been decided and agreed upon by myself and the other Kage. Alice _will_ be doing this whether the rest of you like it or not. Sable will be with her so she will not be completely alone."

"Leader-sama," Itachi protested, "she is completely defenseless and I do not trust the ability of a single Konoha Shinobi to protect her. And I most certainly do not trust one I do not know personally."

"Itachi, deal with it." Pein snapped. "She's already agreed to it."

"And he ordered me to." I shrugged. "No backing out now."

Itachi glanced at me. "Shh." He looked back at Pein in the next second. "Leader-sama…"

Kathryn gawked at Itachi and looked at me. "Oh shit…"

"You did not just shush me." I growled, interrupting him.

He tensed, realizing his mistake.

I grabbed his chin and forced him to face me, narrowing my eyes at him threateningly. "Itachi Uchiha, you _know_ I hate it when people shush me. You just destroyed my good mood."

"Alice…" He began.

"Shut up." I snapped. "You're in trouble."

He sighed.

Kisame put his hand on my head. "Easy Al. We're discussing something important right now. Leave it."

I glared at him before releasing Itachi and crossing my arms. "Stop hounding Pein. I'm doing this so quit bitching. Sable will be with me and if it pisses you off that much, I might be able to talk Tsunade into letting Itachi keep one of his crows on me."

The tense, overprotective males all relaxed. Sasuke's frown disappeared and his shoulders eased.

Pein nodded. "I will speak with her. Itachi, you may keep one of your crows with her at all times."

"Thank you, sir." Itachi said with a bow of his head.

"Well, that was awkward." Kathryn smiled, throwing her rag towards the counter. "What would you guys have done if they asked me to do it?"

"Killed them (un)." Sasori and Deidara said in unison. Hidan seconded them by pointing at them and pointing at himself since his mouth was full of food.

"Maimed them." Kisame shrugged. Itachi nodded in agreement.

I smiled. "Awe, they're cute when they're protective."

"Alice, mood swings." Kakuzu chimed.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "Damn it. You men fuck with my emotions."

Kathryn giggled and hugged Deidara. "That's the best thing about them."

I shook my head. "I disagree."

She raised her eyebrow.

"The best thing about all of the men in here," I explained, "is their muscles."

Itachi rolled his eyes and Kakashi chuckled.

I smirked when all of them sighed and Kathryn agreed with me. "And Pein's piercings are pretty legit too."

"Alice." He deadpanned.

I grinned at him. "You know you like it when people compliment your piercings."

He continued to stare at me.

"Konan, is his _entire_ body really covered in piercings?" I asked, giving her a smirk. She choked on her drink.

Pein threw his glass at me. "Alice!"

I laughed and dodged his projectile before darting out of the room in case he made to keep trying until he hit. "You love it!"

At least he listened to me and reverted back to normal.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, Konan's not preggo, nor have I ever intended for her to get preggo.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **I got my roommate assignments for OSU. Thankfully, one of my best friends and one of the only females I can stand to be around all the time is one of my roommates. I will have two others. Yes, 4 girls in one room.  
><em>

Answer: _I love Naruto, I love Kushina, I love Gaara, I love the third Mizukage Yagura, and I love Bee. Favorite... probably Naruto. He's just too epic for words. Gaara comes in second place.__  
><em>

**QotC:** _Out of all of Alice's relationships with the other characters in Naruto and my stories, which relationship would you guys say is your favorite? Was it Alice's business relationship with Madara? Her motherly tendencies over Kathryn? Or do you prefer her obsession with Itachi?_

_ZetsusNeko- My favorite Pokemon is Arcanine. Kathryn's is probably Ninetails. Yeah, I'm 99% sure hers is ninetails.  
><em>

_Thunder Krystal - :( That was mean. Why would you kill my family and then want to stab me? Unless I'm missing a reference here.  
><em>

_Others- Your questions will all be answered in time. Next chapter, the third round of the exams start. Fair warning, I fucking suck at fight scenes if the characters aren't the ones I know inside and out. (I'm only good at writing fight scenes for my original stories) So, forgive me for the shittiness that is coming.  
><em>

_Bye-bye now~  
><em>


	47. Chapter 47

_Third round begins!_

_I don't own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"So…" I mused as I stood in the middle of the empty arena. "What exactly am I supposed to do?"<p>

"Greet everyone, help me explain the rules, watch the fights, let me know if anything is going to happen, entertain the audience if necessary while the arena is being restored and the next match is being prepared, introduce the Kage, and well… be you." Genma explained. "For starters, just tell them everything I told you with a little Alice flair to it."

I looked over the arena and sighed. "Sounds easy enough. But why do I get the feeling this is going to be a pain in the ass?"

"Because it will be." Genma laughed. He patted my head and smirked. "Just stay close to me. You won't have to worry about a thing."

"I'm not worried about a literal pain in the ass." I deadpanned. "I'm more worried about the drama my idiots will cause because of this and everyone being pissed that the 'Seer' is down here and not helping them bet."

Genma shrugged. "They all know you weren't allowed to make any bets. It's been announced everywhere."

"You tell that to the asshole who have been hounding me for help." I scoffed.

He patted my shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from any crazy gamblers."

"Good." I sighed. "So when does this thing start?"

"People will be let inside in like five minutes. Until then, just chill." He told me. "And, make sure your dog stays out of the fights."

I glanced at Sable who was chewing on a bone Hidan had given her. "She'll stay out of trouble. Though, when Tiburon, Cielo, or Sanaa are fighting, I'll have to put her leash on her. She might attack their opponents."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be good." Genma chuckled.

I poked his chest, eyes narrowing threateningly. "And by the way, Sable's a wolf. Not a dog."

"I'll keep that in mind." He grinned. He glanced around and nodded when a shiny caught his eye. "That's the signal from Shikamaru. People are coming."

"Goodie." I said dully. I stood there boredly with Genma at my side and chatted with him as everyone filed into the stadium to get their seats. About fifteen minutes after people began sitting down, I heard a shout from somewhere above me.

Looking around, I noticed a waving hand and rolled my eyes before waving boredly back. "Hidan's such a moron."

Genma chuckled before his laugh trailed off and he watched a black bird glide through the air until it landed on my shoulder. The bird made a noise of contentment as it rested on my shoulder and nipped my ear affectionately.

"Bird?" He wondered.

I sighed. "It's my husband's way of keeping an eye on me. He's overprotective."

Genma chuckled. "I see that. Tsunade-sama mentioned a clone, but I didn't think she meant a bird. That's more convenient."

"It is." I nodded, stroking the chest of the crow. "Though unnecessary."

The crow puffed up stubbornly.

"Shut up." I told it, knowing Itachi could hear me. I glanced up in the direction of the Akatsuki to see him sitting between Kisame and Sasori. I distinctly saw his eyes narrow at me and I laughed.

"We'll be starting soon. The ushers are getting people to their seats so we can begin." Genma told me.

"Sounds good." I nodded.

About ten minutes later, the genin began trailing into the arena, causing waves of cheering from the crowds.

Tiburon walked in the middle of the group with Sanaa to his right. Cielo stood on Sanaa's other side with one of Shikamaru's students to his right. Tiburon was smirking and Sanaa was smiling cheerfully. Cielo looked unhappy, thought that was probably because of the growing heat.

They all stopped a few feet from Genma and I and I glared at the two kids from Kiri that were taller than I was. I took pleasure in the fact that everyone else was shorter than me.

When they stopped the Kage entered and while everyone was cheering for the Kage, Genma and I walked forward, Sable looked up from her bone before her tail wagged furiously and she shot forward, tackling Tiburon to the ground.

Tiburon landed in the dirt with a grunt and fought, helplessly, against Sable's affection. Rounds of laughter sounded from the crowd and the kids standing around him laughed as well.

"Mom!" Tiburon growled, fighting Sable. "Get her off."

I smirked at him. "She's just telling you good luck."

He glared at me.

I laughed and patted my leg. "Sable, down."

She looked around at me before trotting back over to my side and sitting beside me obediently, her tail wagging contently.

"So…" I mused, looking over the fighters. "I'm Alice, also known as the Seer." I gestured at Genma. "This is Gemna."

"We'll be your proctors for the exam." Genma explained. "Now just stand here and look pretty while we address the crowd and announce the rules."

I cracked my knuckles. "This ought to be good."

The cheering of the crowd died down when the Kage sat down and Tsunade smiled at Genma and I to know to begin.

"Welcome to the third and final round of the Chūnin exam." Genma began. "I am the proctor of this exam along with Alice Uchiha, also known as the Seer." He gestured to me and I waved lazily.

"Sup?" I greeted. "Thanks for coming to watch little kids beat the shit out of each other and all of those pleasantries." I sighed, ignoring Genma's laughter. "So for this exam, the fights will be one-on-one and they will last until either a competitor quits, dies, is declared unable to proceed, or Genma steps in and stops the fight." I gestured at him boredly. "He alone has ability to stop a fight and he will do his utmost to prevent any deaths. That's why I'm here because I'm not really in the mood to watch kids die. I cannot predict everything, but I most certainly will try. So no promises."

Genma chuckled and gestured for me to continue.

"So yeah, anything goes pretty much as far as the matches go." I shrugged. "Though, I will not tolerate any Kakashi Hatakes. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means simply that Kakashi has a habit of being unfashionably late." I threw a look in his direction while all of the people who knew Kakashi laughed.

He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"You come late, your forfeit, end of story. Bitch about it, and I'll punch you in the mouth." I continued. I glanced at Genma. "Anything else?"

He flicked his eyes towards the Kage.

"Oh yeah." I nodded. "Everyone cheer for the Kage again. They deserve a lot for putting up with all of you, especially Pein for dealing with me and the rest of the Akatsuki." I smirked. "And all of you would faint if you could see how much paper work they all have to deal with every day."

While everyone clapped and cheered, the Kage and Akatsuki laughed at my words. When that died down, Tiburon decided to prove he was my child.

"So does that mean I get a round of applause? I have to deal with you too, Mom." Tiburon teased.

I flicked his nose. "Don't make me ground you, brat."

Tiburon glared at me and rubbed his nose. "Mean."

Cielo walloped the back of his head with a glare.

Tiburon rounded on him, only to stop when Sanaa shouted at them and hit both of them.

"Now that all of that boring stuff is over, we'll begin the fighting." Genma stated. "The first match is Sanaa of the Akatsuki versus Mizu of Kiri."

The crowd went nuts and I could distinctly hear Deidara, Hidan, and Kathryn cheering for Sanaa. Naruto and Lee could be heard from their front row seats along with the rest of the Konoha 11 plus Sai and Sasuke. Suigetsu was trying to start a chant while Jūgo just watched with a small smile.

Sanaa smiled sweetly at the massive Kiri boy with shaggy blond hair and a very narrow face. He just looked down at her like he wanted to eat her.

Tiburon bumped shoulders with Sanaa while Cielo gently patted her opposite shoulder before they moved out of the arena with the other kids so Sanaa and this giant kid could fight.

The stadium was eerily quiet while Sanaa and Mizu turned to face each other. After a moment, Genma and I exchanged a glance before I slipped the leash onto Sable's collar and we retreated out of the way.

"Hi!" Sanaa said politely. "I'm Sanaa! It's nice to meet you. Good luck! That color blue looks really good on you, it brings out your eyes."

"You little shit! Quit fucking fraternizing with the enemy! You're supposed to be kicking his ass!" Hidan shouted.

Sanaa looked towards Hidan and glared. "Stop saying bad words, Hidan-oji!"

I introduced my palm to my forehead. "Kakuzu."

A smack sounded throughout the stadium.

"Shut up, Moron." Kakuzu grunted over the scattered laughter in the crowd.

"You son of…" Hidan swore.

Another smack.

I laughed. "Thank you, Sasori."

He waved away my thanks as the crowd laughed harder.

"Begin." Genma barked.

Sanaa dodged a number of kunai Mizu shot at her, showing off her flexibility by bending backwards to do it like the fucking matrix before falling into a back bend and then flipping around. She bounced in her spot when she landed on her feet, her eyes never leaving Mizu.

Mizu charged her and Sanaa held her ground, watching his every move. Just as he was about to hit her, she grabbed his hand and flipped herself over him. She did a number of backhand springs to put some distance between them. When she landed, she hugged herself.

Kathryn was amazing at gymnastics, and so was Deidara since he was a ninja and all of that. Sanaa had inherited their skills.

Sable started barking at him and she was growling viciously. She quieted when I ordered her to, but I prayed the kid didn't land a blow on Sanaa. Otherwise he would have a huge wolf tearing him to pieces in seconds. Sable was strong, way too strong for me to properly restrain if she wanted to get away.

Sanaa smirked when Mizu wheeled around to find her, and flew through a few hand signs just as Mizu did. She slowed down, letting him make the first move. Then she disappeared just as his attack hit where she had been standing.

Mizu stalked around, searching for her chakra before suddenly he was dragged into the ground. Sanaa popped up beside him and smiled down at him. She patted his head before pinching the nerves in his neck and knocking him out.

Pleased with herself now that he was unconscious, she pulled him out of the dirt before skipping over to me and hugging me.

"Good girl, Sanaa." I praised.

She giggled. "I hope all of the fights are that easy, Icy." She bent down to soothe Sable who was very excited about Sanaa now being safe and within licking distance.

"Victory goes to Sanaa of the Akatsuki." Genma announced.

"That's my baby, un!" Deidara shouted loudly. "Good job, Sanaa!"

She giggled and waved at him before hopping over to the contestant box. She ran up the wall, smiling when Tiburon grabbed her outstretched hand and pulled her safely inside.

Genma and I chatted while the medics ran out to collect Mizu. When Mizu was carted out, he pulled out his lineup and inspected it. "Next match is Kōri of Konoha versus Taiyo of Suna."

A boy with messy white hair and a Konoha forehead protector dropped down from the contestant box and he strolled over to the middle of the arena with an arrogant gate. His hands were deep in his pockets and he had a cocky smile on his face as he watched the tan Suna male walk over.

Genma initiated their battle, and Kōri went flew through some hand signs before a tornado of leaves encased him and Taiyo. When it died down a minute later, Taiyo was unconscious on the ground with a very large sandal imprint on his face. Kōri stood beside his downed form, dusting off his shoulders.

"Victory goes to Kōri of Konoha." Genma said uncertainly, eyeing the boy.

Kōri winked. "I can't start off by giving the other competitors any ideas of how to beat me." He then walked over towards the box again.

I stared after him. "I'm getting Kakashi vibes."

"You too then?" Genma scoffed.

"Real bad." I deadpanned. I glanced at him. "Who's next?"

Genma glanced at me before looking towards Taiyo to see he was already gone. "Next is Cielo of the Akatsuki versus Rifu Hyūga of Konoha."

Cielo sighed dully and walked down the stairs like a normal person before meeting his opponent who was a student of Neji's and one of said Hyūga's distant cousins. According to Shika and the others, Shikamaru's Hyūga student was the elder brother of Rifu.

Rifu had the same dark hair as Neji, and the typical Hyūga eyes, but she wasn't pale like them. She was actually rather tan, and she kept her hair in a long braid over her shoulder.

Cielo sighed when she fell into a stance in front of him. He cocked his head to the side at her and I was able to watch his eyes darken to reflect the darker bluish gray the sky was. His fingers twitched with anticipation and a smirk broke out on his face.

"Uh oh." I muttered. I knew that smirk.

That smirk always meant danger.

"What?" Genma asked in a hushed voice.

"Don't take your eyes off Cielo." I said quietly.

Genma nodded before waving his hand. "Begin!"

Rifu rushed at Cielo and he actually _grinned_ at her before letting her hit him. His image wavered before he disappeared with a splash. The crowed made sounds of awe before gasping. I glanced around to see Cielo having appeared behind her.

His hand shot forward and it gripped Rifu's forehead tightly. His second hand came up and he twisted it into a familiar hand sign. He then closed his eyes, smirking.

For five minutes they stood there, before Rifu started screaming in fear and trying to fight off Cielo's hand and his Kekkei Genkai. He didn't budge and his smirk only increased.

"What's he doing to her?" Genma wondered.

"Cielo's Kekkei Genkai is like a super Genjutsu just without the consequences that the Sharingan has." I explained. "He can cut off senses completely and feed images of whatever he wants into her head."

Genma shivered as a bloodcurdling scream ripped from Rifu. "I don't even want to know what that kid is doing to her."

I smiled. "That's my boy."

Suddenly the screaming stopped and Cielo released Rifu. He allowed her to drop to her knees, sobbing before glancing at Genma. "She's not going to be competing anymore."

"She has to give up. You can't do it for her." Genma stated.

Cielo sighed. "You asked." He turned back to Rifu before doing a transformation jutsu. I blinked in confusion. I wasn't confused because of Rifu fainting rather pathetically because of the transformation.

It was because of who Cielo transformed into that I was confused.

He turned into Hidan…

Genma and I exchanged a confused look before he walked forward to inspect Rifu. When he distinguished her to be out of commission, he waved in the medics. "Victory goes to Cielo of the Akatsuki."

The crowd roared with approval.

"Cielo, love, what did you do?" I asked.

He returned to his original form and glanced at me. "I allowed her to experience Hidan's rituals through my visions, and I showed her what happens when she walks in on one of his rituals."

I stared at him. "That's genius."

"I know." He nodded. "That's why I did it."

"Alright you smug brat." I said with an eye roll and a smile. "Go on."

After Cielo's match, there was a match between one of Neji's kids and another Suna Genin. Neji's kid won, though this battle was actually bloody. That might be because the two kids were actually on the same level where as Kōri, Sanaa, and Cielo had used intelligence rather than blatantly battling out their opponents and wearing themselves out.

After that match, there was a battle between a Kiri Genin and a Suna Genin. The Kiri Shinobi won by a long shot. And by long shot, I mean he ripped the sand Genin's throat out and left him to bleed after both of them showed a lot of skill with their weapons.

Genma glanced at me as the cleaners came in and collected the body of the now dead genin. "Did you not foresee that?"

"I don't see everything you know." I sighed. The crow on my shoulder puffed slightly and it nipped my ear gently. "I guessed what he was going to do a split second before he did it. That's why I elbowed you. I didn't know for sure he was going to rip his throat out, but I knew he was going for the jugular."

"It's alright." Genma stated. "He would have died soon anyways. He had been severely poisoned during the second exam. No one could find a cure. Not even Sakura, Hokage-sama, or Sasori. We kept quiet about it because he was determined to fight."

I ran a hand through my hair, taking care not to hit Itachi's bird. "Even so."

"Let's just move on." Genma offered.

I nodded. "Alright." I glanced at the crowd, disgusted by the exchanges of money I could see happening as well as the cheering. "Disgusting people."

After that, Shikamaru's girl faced off with Neji's last student and she beat him with an impressive display of Genjutsu and Katon jutsu. He gave her a run for her money, but she had inherited her sensei's intelligence.

I looked to Genma. "Lee's student right? I could hear him shouting about it."

Genma smirked. "The next fight will be Tiburon Uchiha of the Akatsuki versus Keru of Konoha."

I sighed and I felt the bird beside me roll its eyes at our son's excited grin. "Shit."

Tiburon faced Keru calmly. They bowed respectfully to each other before taking a few steps back, waiting for Genma to give them the go ahead. Tiburon's Sharingan was whirling with excitement and Keru seemed to have picked up some of Lee's enthusiasm.

It was still miniscule compared to his though…

The crowd was going nuts. They have all been waiting to see what an Uchiha can do since it had been… a very long time since any of them had witnessed an Uchiha fight. The last one any of them saw was Sasuke, and that was only if they were either his opponent, or they were present at his Chūnin exam.

But regardless, Tiburon's fight had a lot of hype behind it.

"Begin." Genma called.

Immediately, Keru raced towards Tiburon. Tiburon caught his fist in order to assess his strength. He smirked and dodged Keru's kick before retaliating his own. Keru managed to dodge it, only to have Tiburon's fist connect with his face.

Keru was knocked back about twenty yards because of the force of Tiburon's blow. Tiburon shook out his hand, frowning after Keru. He took advantage of Keru's down form to look over the field and he knelt, touching the dirt beneath his feet.

Something satisfied him because a second later, he charged towards Keru with a smirk on his face. He slid around Keru who had just gotten to his feet and he grabbed the still dazed Genin's arm before launching him towards the stadium wall.

Tiburon watched Keru try to straighten himself out as he flew towards the wall and he began flying through hand signs as Keru arranged himself so he could use his feet to absorb his impact with the wall.

Just as Keru hit the wall, Tiburon released a massive fireball after him. Keru's eyes widened at the giant ball of fire flying his way and he flew through some hand signs and managed to throw up a wall of water just in time to block the majority of Tiburon's attack.

Some of his Katon jutsu managed to hit Keru though and Keru went to one knee, cradling his severely burned arm.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side at Keru. "You gonna be able to fight with that arm?"

Keru looked up at him and smirked, panting heavily. "I still have another one."

"That's true, but do you really think one arm is going to be enough to beat me?" Tiburon asked. "I'd rather not hurt you because I like Lee, but I will if I have to."

Keru smiled. "Don't go easy on me."

"I have to." Tiburon stated. "Or else I'd kill you."

"Prove it." Keru laughed.

Tiburon sighed and went through a few hand signs before suddenly, a thick as hell mist filled the arena. "You asked for it." Tiburon's voice called.

Fifteen minutes went on before the mist finally disappeared. Gasps erupted from the crowds while I distinctly heard Itachi, Kakuzu, and Sasori face palm.

I rolled my eyes.

The entire area was now _covered_ in traps. If Keru was to so much as _move_, he would be ensnared in one of Tiburon's many traps. Said brat was standing about three feet from me, looking smug.

"Your move." Tiburon told him.

Keru looked around in shock. "How…"

"That's my little secret." Tiburon smirked. He launched a kunai at Keru, forcing him to jump to his feet to avoid the projectile.

And he fell right into Tiburon's trap.

A rope shot out of the ground and wrapped around Keru's foot. It ripped his legs out from under him and dragged him towards the tree. It pulled him up and over one of the branches before slamming him on the ground as it dropped him lower. He was pulled over the ground again before being hung upside down against the wall of the arena where about fifteen kunai and shuriken tore from the tree and pinned him to the wall.

A late, backwards kunai connected with his forehead protector. The momentum was enough to knock Keru out.

Tiburon nodded with approval. "I was hoping he'd land in that one."

Genma stared after Keru, his mouth agape. He continued to stare for a moment before shaking his head to come back to reality. He looked between Tiburon and Keru for a moment before rubbing a hand over his face.

"Victory goes to Tiburon of the Akatsuki." Genma announced.

I smiled and glanced at Tiburon. "Want to dismantle these traps so the medics can get to Keru?"

He shrugged. "Sure." He bent over and held a kunai to a rope by his feet. "Don't move."

I grabbed Genma before he could move and told him to hold still before motioning for Tiburon to continue.

He cut the rope by his feet and snaps rang throughout the arena as a number of his traps were disarmed. He trotted over to a few spots, picking up his weapons and wires before storing them in a scroll in a compartment on his pants.

"Done." He said boredly.

I glanced towards Keru. "What about him?"

"He's only up there still because of the weapons holding him up there." Tiburon explained. He jogged over to the wall and walked up it using his chakra. He pulled all of the weapons out of Keru's clothes before tossing Keru over his shoulder. He hopped to the ground and handed him to one of the medics that walked forward to retrieve him.

Once he was free of Keru, Tiburon jogged to the stairs that led up to the contestant box.

I glanced towards the crow on my shoulder. "I blame you."

The bird's wings spread with disapproval.

"What? He doesn't get his ninja skills from me." I deadpanned.

The bird calmed down.

"That's what I thought." I nodded, petting its chest. It made a purring sound, though less cat like and more owl hooting like or a cooing pigeon. I smiled. "I love you too."

"It's so weird to hear you having a conversation with a bird." Genma chuckled.

I glanced at him. "I'm talking to Itachi."

"Is he talking back?" Genma asked.

"Not verbally, but I can tell what he wants to say simply by the bird's reactions to what I say." I shrugged.

Gemna chuckled and shook his head. "Your kid did well."

"Thank you. I know." I smiled. "Next match?"

"Next match." He agreed.

The next match consisted of Ken Hyūga and one of Lee's kids. After them was Lee's last student versus a kid from Kiri. Ken easily won his match and the Kiri kid won, though Lee's student broke all but two of his ribs.

But, the Kiri kid was free from fighting for the next 2 rounds.

After the Kiri kid's battle, the second round began.

Shit's going down.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_Dolly and Bowie spend 94% of their day wrestling together. It's cute most of the time, but it gets a little annoying. They're doing it right now. Dolly is sitting on the couch with me and Bo keeps doing laps around the room before pouncing on her. He then uses me as a kick off to do more laps._

Answer: _My favorite relationship of Alice's... probably Sasori's relationship with her. I do love her relationship with Hidan though, and Itachi's cute. Sasori wins though.__  
><em>

**QotC:** _Alrighty, big question: Kathryn or Alice? Why Alice? Why Kathryn?_

_**WotC: **eyes - ojos.  
><em>

_Before anyone bitches at me for the kids being OP, here's a bit of info for you: Kōri is a prodigy. Also, most of the other contestants are afraid of Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo. Like seriously terrified because some people... not saying who... might have sent out some death threats/rumors about them. So... yeah.  
><em>

_But, I'm going now.  
><em>

_Toodles.  
><em>


	48. Chapter 48

_After almost a week, here is the next chapter.  
><em>

_It was so weird not updating more often...  
><em>

_Enjoy the chapter. I don't own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Sanaa of the Akatsuki versus Kōri of Konoha." Genma announced.<p>

Kōri sighed dejectedly as he entered the arena. "I don't want to hurt someone as sweet as Sanaa."

Sanaa smirked at him as she skipped to her spot across from him. "Don't go easy on me, yeah."

Sanaa's inner Deidara was coming out, I just knew it.

Speaking of Deidara…

"Kick his ass, baby un!" Deidara shouted from his seat.

I rolled my eyes. "Itachi, hit Deidara."

I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Itachi elbow Sasori and say something to him quietly before Sasori smacked the hell out of the back of Deidara's head. I could hear him yelp from where I was.

"Thank you." I told the crow. I glanced at Genma. "Your call."

Genma waved his hand. "Begin!"

Sanaa's eyes locked on Kōri as he began the hand signs for that wind tornado. Sanaa flew through some hand signs just as Kōri finished his. A tornado of leaves filled the area and it lasted for a few moments before a grunt sounded from within it.

As it died, the spectators gasped at seeing Sanaa berating Kōri with a cocky grin identical to her father's. She had stolen Kōri's sword and was attacking him with it, fueling the blade with chakra to make to longer and more lethal. However, Kōri was having a really hard time defending himself with the kunai he was wielding. It was clear that something was off because Kōri was having more trouble than he should have.

After a moment of watching the pair, the reason why became obvious.

Sanaa had changed the area into quicksand.

Sanaa herself had absolutely no issues with walking in the quicksand, but Kōri was having a very hard time trying to keep from being sucked in. At the moment, the quicksand was to his waist.

Sanaa smiled at Kōri when she knocked the kunai in his hand away. "Wanna give up, Kōri?"

Kōri chuckled and waved his hand. "I give in. There's no way I can get out of this without wasting all of my chakra. And if I do that, I wouldn't have the energy to beat you or any other opponent. The smart thing to do would be to forfeit."

Genma nodded. "Victory goes to Sanaa of the Akatsuki."

Sanaa smiled and extended her hand towards Kōri. "Come on. I'll help you out yeah."

Kōri accepted the gesture and thanked Sanaa when she pulled him out of the sand. She smiled at him and returned the arena to normal with a few hand signs before going to the contestant box.

I glanced over my shoulder towards Shikamaru as Kōri strolled boredly towards a different set of stairs. "He is definitely your student, Shika."

He smirked slightly.

Returning his smirk with my own, I glanced at Genma. "It's all you, Genma."

"Cielo of the Akatsuki and Yashido of Konoha." Genma called. "You two are up."

Yashido was the only student of Neji's to pass to the second round. However, I could tell by the anxious looks the blond was giving Cielo that he wasn't very sure if he would make it to the third round. Cielo looked bored, but I could see confidence in every movement.

"Begin!" Genma barked.

Cielo rushed Neji's student and engaged him in hand to hand combat.

For those of you who don't know, Cielo is _excellent_ at hand to hand combat. He has a natural strength combined with strenuous physical conditioning. Plus, Tiburon is his rival. And if you want to hang with Tiburon, you need to be able to defend yourself or avoid him.

Tiburon is amazing at hand to hand combat because that's one thing all of his mentors, besides Sasori and Deidara, were immensely skilled in. All of them beat Taijutsu into his head for when he was in close combat and jutsu and Genjutsu were out of the question.

His hand to hand combat is his strongest skill, followed closely by jutsu and then Genjutsu.

Cielo can beat Tiburon when he tries hard enough though.

Neji's student cowered under Cielo's chakra enhanced punches and he was quickly forced into retreating in order to keep his arms. Cielo didn't let up for a moment until randomly when Neji's student was in a corner.

When he was standing there, Cielo jumped back, flew through some hand signs, before a wave of water crashed into Yashido and forced him to crack his head against the wall of the stadium and knock himself out.

Cielo ended his assault quickly in order to preserve his chakra before glancing back at me and flipping his shaggier hair out of his face. "Done. This seems suspiciously easy."

The bird avoided looking in me and Cielo's directions at all costs.

I looked at Genma after he announced Cielo as the winner. "That kid seemed a little too timid, especially being Neji's student." I shot a glance at the bird. "I have a feeling I know part of why, but the rest, I'm not sure.

Genma shrugged as he turned to face me. "From what I'm being told by Hamaki who is up there babysitting the kids, Cielo pretty much has all of them scared. Whatever he did to that Hyūga made them all nervous. I'd say those kids are more afraid of him than they are of your son."

"Cielo_ is_ mine." I scoffed. "Even the giant kids from Kiri are scared of him?"

"Everyone except one of them, Tiburon, and Sanaa." Genma shrugged. "The next match is Kasai Yūhi of Konoha versus Kimaru of Kiri."

The crowd erupted into conversation as the Kiri kid, who was massive and killed the Suna genin, emerged on the field with Kurenai's daughter. When Genma started the match, my curious expression changed into a satisfied smirk.

Kasai was intelligent. And she did a wonderful job of hiding her skills. The Kiri kid ended up passing out because of chakra exhaustion. He used extreme jutsu to try and catch her, though she was using clones the entire time while sitting in the tree and watching the whole ordeal.

It was pretty hilarious.

Her father would have gotten a kick out of it.

Kasai won after a twenty minute match and then it was Tiburon's turn once more. He was fighting Ken Hyūga, one of Shikamaru's students.

Ken gazed at Tiburon calmly, displaying the Hyūga stoic persona wonderfully. Tiburon stood across from him, holding his gaze with his hands deep in his pockets and his weight on his right leg lazily. He looked bored, but there was the hint of a smirk on his face.

There was an obvious difference between them. Ken looked tired and Tiburon looked like he could go on all day. Ken had to fight Lee's student in the first round and that kid did not go down without a fight. Ken was filthy, he was sweaty, and covered in dirt and bruises. His breathing was shallow and his eyelids were heavy.

Tiburon had to fight one of Lee's students too, but Tiburon had the energy and personality to match Keru where Ken was reserved like a normal Hyūga and thus, was easily worn down by his exuberant opponent.

Tiburon raised his eyebrow at Ken. "It might be better if you sit out, Ken."

"I cannot." Ken stated simply.

Tiburon rolled his eyes as his Sharingan whirled. "You look dead on your feet."

"I assure you I'm not." Ken replied. He waved Tiburon forward as Genma started the match.

Tiburon's image blurred before suddenly he appeared in front of Ken and slammed his fist into Ken's chest. Ken managed to absorb the blow and he sliced at Tiburon with a kunai he pulled from nowhere. It cut open Tiburon's cheek, but that was the extent of Ken's landed blows.

Tiburon's hand shot up and wrapped around Ken's throat. Ken foolishly looked into Tiburon's eyes when Tiburon pulled him closer. Ken quickly realized his mistake but was too late when he saw Tiburon's smirk. His Sharingan span as he pulled Ken into a Genjutsu. Ken's eyes drooped until they closed and his legs gave out from under him.

Tiburon smirk faded as he released the Hyūga and he rubbed his eyes, frowning as he slowly lowered the Hyūga to the ground. He glanced at Gemna. "He's out."

I frowned as Genma walked over to inspect Ken and motioned for Tiburon to come to me. I cupped his face in my hands when he reached me and I stroked his cheek with my thumb. "What's wrong?"

"My eyes hurt a little." He muttered, shrugging. "It happens sometimes when I use my Sharingan a lot. It's never hurt this bad though…"

The bird on my shoulder puffed up a little.

"Your dad is worried about you." I interpreted. I brushed Tiburon's hair out of his face. "Take it easy, okay? While you're up there, keep it off. You still have three more rounds to go if things go as they should."

He nodded. "I'll be fine Mom."

I kissed his forehead, pleased that he didn't seem embarrassed, especially when a number of girls went "awe" in the crowd and Genma openly teased him. He just shrugged, and walked back to the contestant box, completely unconcerned.

I sighed at the bird. "He's just like me."

The bird nodded in agreement.

I looked around when a whooshing sounded from beside me to see Genma talking to Raidō. I raised my eyebrow at them and turned to listen into their conversation. "What's up?"

Raidō acknowledge me with a head dip. "We're having an intermission now. The Kage want to speak with you during that time, Alice."

I nodded. "Alright. But why now? It's only just after the second round."

"We usually have it either between the second and third round. Typically, there aren't that many kids participating. This is the largest group we've ever had." Genma shrugged.

"Why didn't you guys do preliminaries then?" I asked, glancing at Genma.

"You." Genma explained. "You predicted a large turnout for the second round so we prepared for a longer third round. Besides, because of more villages coming to see the third round, it is more interesting if there are more participants."

"Makes sense." I sighed. "So, intermission?"

Genma nodded as Raidō disappeared. He turned and looked over the crowd. "We will now hold a thirty minute intermission. Please be courteous to the other spectators, enjoy the break, and watch for the signal inside the arena. You will know it when you see it."

Genma glanced at me as the bird took off from my shoulder. "Need help going up to the Kages?"

I was about to confirm his question when I felt a presence appear behind me. A powerful arm curled around my waist and I was pulled against a warm body. "That won't be necessary."

I smirked and looked to my right to see Itachi holding onto me. "Hey babe."

"Alice." He greeted. He kissed my forehead gently before dipping his head at Genma and patting his leg for Sable. She barked excitedly and shot after Itachi as he picked me up and basically flew me to the Kage's platform thing.

When he set me down I waved. "Yo."

"Hello Alice." Gaara greeted. Tsunade and Mei smiled at me, the Raikage dipped his head, and Ōnoki shot me a smirk. Pein just stared, Ash sitting on his lap.

"So what's up?" I asked grabbing Itachi's hand. I glanced over my shoulder to the lower platform, only to frown when I saw the Akatsuki had pretty much disappeared. The only one there was Kisame and he was making his way towards us. "Where is everyone?"

"Sasori and Kakuzu went to check on the contestants." Itachi explained quietly.

"The others are hunting down food." Kisame added as he reached us.

I raised my eyebrow and looked at Pein. "You let Kathryn, Deidara, and Hidan off on their own?"

He shook his head. "Zetsu and Konan are watching them." He gestured beside him, indicating the empty seats. "See?"

"Ah yes." I nodded. I glanced at Tsunade. "Raidō said you wanted to see me."

"Yes." Tsunade nodded. "How is it going down there?"

I shrugged. "Kind of boring, actually. I expected the fights to be much more… intense. However, I should have assumed they won't be. Tiburon, though a show off, is smart when it comes to hiding his abilities until he needs them. And Cielo never shows off more than is necessary. The others seem to be holding back."

Mei smiled. "That could be a double-edged sword."

I nodded. "There are just four more matches left, right? Two in the next round, then one and one."

"Kasai and Tiburon will be fighting, then whoever wins will fight the boy from Kiri." Pein said smoothly. "Then it will be them versus Sanaa or Cielo."

"Who do you foresee winning, Alice?" Ōnoki asked.

I shrugged. "Tiburon or Cielo. I bet Sanaa will forfeit when she's asked to fight Cielo because she won't hurt him. If they did fight and Sanaa won and she was put up against Tiburon, Tiburon wouldn't even walk out into the arena because he refuses to touch Sanaa with ill intentions."

Kisame grinned. "They're quite the team."

The Raikage raised his eyebrow at me. "Did you want to take a break from proctoring? We could put the blond girl in for you."

"No." Itachi, Kisame, and I said in unison.

Black Kage frowned.

I smiled. "She's a little… too fragile to be out there. The Akatsuki are more protective of Kathryn than they are of me because of that. I'm too protective of her because of that. Besides, I'm fine. Though, Sable's getting bored." I glanced at Kisame and Itachi. "Will you two watch her for me?"

Itachi frowned. "She is your protection down there."

"You have a crow on me, Itachi." I deadpanned. "And Genma is strong enough." I glanced at Tsunade. "Wasn't my involvement down there more as a show of involvement with other villages? Why don't you send Temari down there or something? Send a Kiri rep down there. Keeping me down there might seem like favoritism."

"How you could be anyone's favorite is beyond me."

I glared over my shoulder. "Shut up, Loofa."

He ignored me. "Itachi, I need you for a moment."

Itachi looked around. "What's wrong?"

"Tiburon's eyes are bothering him." Sasori stated. "You know more about eyes than anyone here. So I need your opinion."

I frowned. "Is he okay?"

Sasori patted my head. "I'm sure he's fine. Stay here though, Alice."

I glared. "You better not be lying to me, Sasori."

"Alice." Pein scolded. "Stay. Sasori is right. You cannot go down there right now."

"I promise you that I will fix whatever is wrong with Tiburon, Alice." Sasori sighed. "If there is anything wrong. It might just be some irritation from using his Sharingan a lot. That can happen you know and he is only nine years old. He'll be able to use it more without side effects as he ages."

I sighed. "I know. Just being paranoid."

Itachi kissed the side of my head. "My eyes were sore at first too, Alice. It's common, but I will go with Sasori to be sure there is nothing wrong." He glanced at Kisame. "Watch her for me."

Kisame nodded. "Of course."

I kissed Itachi fully one more time before shooing him away. I glanced at Kisame. "Let's go find Hidan after the Kage are done with me. I need a distraction."

Kisame grinned at me. "Sounds good, Squirt."

* * *

><p><em>You all can thank my reviewer: Mexican for this update. She gave me the 20th review on the last chapter like an hour ago. That's why it took so long for me to update because I was waiting, as promised in my conditions, for that 20th review.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **OSU orientation sucks.  
><em>

Answer: _I'm going to have to go with Alice, simply because I know her character better. As an author, I find her more amusing and fun to write. But, I love Kathryn because she's based off of my best friend with some slight differences._

**QotC:** _Biggest pet peeve? I don't remember asking this or not. I probably have, but I don't care. Answer it._

_**WotC: **loyalty = lealtad.  
><em>

_But yeah, I was having like withdraws from not updating as often as I usually do so make sure you get to those reviews to 20 ASAP. I felt like I was neglecting you all and that made me sad. You guys know I'm not a review whore, but you guys wanted me to update more often. This was your choice. I listened to you guys.  
><em>

_But, I still love all of your faces and everything about you guys. We are above 1000 review and that is just beyond amazing. Thank you all so much for the support and everything. I couldn't thank you enough.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	49. Chapter 49

_Ya know, what I don't get is this: Chapter 47 took almost a week to get 20 reviews. Chapter 48 is up for not even 24 hours and it gets almost 30 reviews.__  
><em>

_I confess... confusion.  
><em>

_But, maybe it was because 47 sucked ass and for some reason you guys liked 48 better.  
><em>

_I don't know. Anyways, enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Sanaa sighed as she snacked on a protein bar and glanced at the silent Uchiha beside her. He was sitting with his back against the wall, his arms around his knees and his face pressed into his sleeves.

Cielo sat on Sanaa's other side, meditating quietly. He was the first to notice the approaching chakras but he did nothing more than smirk slightly.

Sasori had been in there earlier with Kakuzu, tending to the contestants. Kakuzu had left first, saying something about needing to babysit his partner. Sasori had stayed only to leave shortly after saying he would be back.

And here he came.

Sanaa elbowed Tiburon and lowered her voice to prevent any of the contestants beside Cielo from overhearing. "Tibby, you okay?"

Tiburon nodded. "Hn."

"What's wrong?" Sanaa wondered.

He tilted his head slightly to reveal watery, red eyes. "My eyes are tired."

Sanaa frowned. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"I'll be fine." He muttered. "They look worse than they feel."

"We'll see."

Sanaa and Tiburon looked up to see Itachi and Sasori walking into the room. Sanaa smiled at them and waved, her smiling widening when Itachi gave her a tiny smile and Sasori rumpled her hair when they reached the kids.

Tiburon squinted at his father. "Dad?"

Itachi stroked Tiburon's hair out of his face. "Tiburon. Are you alright?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Up." Sasori ordered, gesturing at Tiburon. "Let me look at those eyes of yours."

"Don't stand. It will be easier to look when you're not wavering because of standing." Itachi told him. "Just sit up."

Tiburon sat up as he was told and twitched slightly when Itachi grabbed his chin. He relaxed under his father's gentle grip and forced his eyes open. "Any ideas?"

"My eyes did this when I was your age as well, Tiburon." Itachi soothed. "I'm just making sure it is slight irritation and not because of something else." He stroked Tiburon's cheek with his thumb. "Just relax. I won't hurt you."

Itachi released Tiburon's cheek and placed his hands on the most sensitive areas of the head around the eyes. He closed his own and focused a small amount of chakra into his fingers. Tiburon jumped slightly at that but calmed after the initial shock was over.

Itachi frowned as he focused on the chakra paths that led to Tiburon's eyes. He released Tiburon after a moment and glanced at Sasori. "It seems like there is an unnatural filter blocking his chakra from his eyes. It can be trained around, but seems to be the source." He looked down and was quiet for a moment before meeting Sasori's gaze once more. "It's similar to the presence Alice has. I think her lack of chakra partially hinders Tiburon's chakra flow in certain areas."

"That would make sense." Sasori mused. "I was surprised by Tiburon's amount of chakra because of Alice lacking any at all, though his supply is much higher than any kids' his age. I had expected Alice to have some influence over his chakra abilities since Kathryn's lack is why Sanaa doesn't have the mouth on her chest and it's why Sanaa's chakra becomes almost untraceable when dormant."

Tiburon frowned. "So what do I do?"

Sasori placed his hands over Tiburon's eyes. "You can close them." Tiburon obeyed him and Sasori began channeling healing chakra into Tiburon. "And you'll just have to start focusing more chakra to your eyes than you typically do when they start to hurt. Not a lot, just enough to get by the block."

"Oh." Tiburon stated.

Itachi stood. "I leave him to you, Sasori. I need to go and assure Alice that he's alright. She's probably strangling someone."

Sanaa giggled and Cielo smirked while Sasori rolled his eyes. "Alright. I'll see you after intermission."

Itachi dipped his head and disappeared in a flock of crows, flying through the area until he found Alice. She was with Kisame, Hidan, Deidara, and Kathryn in the stands near their seats. She looked irritated as she scolded Hidan, but Itachi could tell it wasn't Hidan that had annoyed her.

Itachi materialized behind Alice and wrapped his arms around her waist, placing a gentle kiss to the base of her neck. "Alice."

She glanced at him. "Itachi."

"You seem irate." Itachi said quietly into her ear.

Alice sighed. "Pein's being weirder and I was about mugged like four times by gamblers. Hidan, Deidara, and Kisame almost killed them and would have if Kakuzu hadn't restrained them." She rubbed her forehead. "I'll be so happy when this shit is over."

Itachi hugged her possessively. "Where is Sable?"

"She's with Konan, Pein, and Zetsu. She's in a Leader mood today." Alice explained, pointing towards the large canine that was acting as a footrest for Konan with her head resting on Pein's feet. Alice smiled slightly. "She's such a good puppy."

"Tiburon is fine by the way." Itachi added.

Alice glanced at him. "He is?" When Itachi nodded she sighed. "Good. What was wrong?"

"Overuse. He needs to get accustomed to his Sharingan and train to use it more often if he intends on keeping his activated as often as I keep mine activated." Itachi explained. "Also, he will have to focus more chakra into his."

Alice looked confused. "Why?"

"It seems your lack of chakra has had its effects on Tiburon's chakra paths and thus hinders the flow in some places." Itachi explained. "It's not dangerous or painful, it just means more training for him."

Alice ran her hand through her hair. "Stupid lack of chakra. Stupid Ohio."

Itachi chuckled and kissed her again. He glanced over his shoulder when a whistle sounded. Genma stood in the arena, waving at them.

"I suppose it's time." Alice sighed as part of Itachi broke off to form a bird that took flight and swooped down towards Genma. "Can I get a lift?"

Itachi nodded and picked Alice up gently as Genma began the signal of having Naruto come running into the area, screaming. On his tail was a rather large dog, courtesy of one Kakashi Hatake.

Naruto ran around in circles for a time before the dog disappeared when Naruto made about fifty clones to make a human pyramid for the original to climb on.

Itachi waited for Naruto's clones to disperse before carrying Alice to the arena. He set her down gently and waited beside her patiently for Genma who was talking to Naruto. When Naruto left, Itachi's crow landed on Alice's shoulder.

"Watch over her." Itachi threatened as the stadium filled with the quiet chatter of a few spectators. Most were watching the three Shinobi in the center of the field. "Or I will show you why this village used to fear me."

Genma paled a little.

Alice rolled her eyes with a smile and patted Itachi's chest. "Down boy."

"There's an update I need to fill you in on though." Genma added. "Kasai forfeited. She was running low on chakra. Apparently all of those clones did her in. Not to mention, she doesn't see herself winning against the others." He shrugged. "That's what she announced during intermission."

Alice frowned. "Well that's unfortunate, but this round of the exam is taking far too long. This is good."

Genma nodded. "I agree."

Itachi dipped his head and squeezed Alice's hand.

"KISS HER!" Kathryn yelled. "DO HER IN THE ARENA!"

Cheering sounded from the crowd. Alice and Itachi both face-palmed.

"Kiss her! Kiss her!" Kathryn repeated in a chant. Soon enough, people started joining in, fueled by Naruto, Killer Bee, Kiba, Lee, and Gai.

"I think they want you to kiss her." Genma pointed out.

Itachi gave him a look. "I had no idea."

"Hey, if you won't do it, I will for you." Genma stated.

Alice grabbed Itachi and covered his eyes as his Sharingan whirled. "Easy Weasel. He was teasing you."

"Use some tongue!" Hidan shouted in the silence between chants.

"Shut the fuck up Hidan before I cut yours out!" Alice retorted when the crowd died a little. "Don't make me come up there you religious shit!"

An "Oohh~" sounded from the crowd.

Alice glared at the crowd. "Ah, shut up." She crossed her arms. "Let's start this shit."

Itachi chuckled. "I should go."

"I'll see you later." Alice promised.

Itachi nodded and watched her turn towards Genma before grabbing her and planting a very intimate kiss on her lips. Alice smirked as the crowd cheered and rolled her eyes.

Itachi released her coolly and returned to his seat stealthily while Alice ran a hand over her face with a sigh.

"Alright, now that I have publicly displayed affection, let's begin." Alice deadpanned.

Genma laughed at her and shook his head. "Welcome back and I hope you enjoyed the break and the little show." He smirked. "Our first match of the third round will be Sanaa of the Akatsuki versus Cielo of the Akatsuki."

Sanaa's heart dropped into her stomach as her name and Cielo's were called. She reluctantly got to her feet while Cielo broke out of his meditation. She went down the stairs with him at her side, feeling anxious and queasy. Cielo looked indifferent, but he kept shooting her concerned glances.

"It's alright, Sanaa." He assured her as they made it onto the field. He grabbed her shoulder and squeezed it gently. "Lighten up. Just consider this one of our sparring matches."

She looked at him. "I can't." She turned to face him as they made it to the middle of the circle. She could feel Alice watching her and it made her even more nervous.

"Cielo!" Tiburon shouted from the contestant box. "If you lay a _finger_ on Sanaa, I will rip your shitty face right off that fucking head of yours!"

The crowd laughed

Alice glared. "Tiburon Shisui Uchiha, you say one more swear word and I promise you that I will make every nightmare you've ever had come true." She pointed at him. "You better watch your mouth."

The crowd laughed even harder.

Tiburon paled. "Sorry Mom."

She shook her head at him, muttering under her breath about badly behaving kids before looking at Sanaa and Cielo. "It will be alright you two."

Genma waved his arm. "Begin."

Cielo didn't move at all. "Go ahead, Sanaa. You get the first move."

She pouted and stomped her foot. "I don't like this yeah!"

Cielo sighed. "Sanaa."

"I quit!" Sanaa whined. "I don't want to hurt Cielo yeah." She looked up at the Kage. "How come you guys make fighting each other the last round? We grew up together and bled together and you pit us against each other in the last round so we can win individually when the entire test focuses on teamwork and loyalty. That's stupid!" Sanaa pointed at Cielo. "He's my teammate, my friend, and he's like a big brother! I can't hurt him anymore than Tibby can hurt me! You guys whine about peace, but fighting isn't peace yeah."

Pein sighed. "Sanaa, now is not the time for a speech."

She glared. "Well I'm not fighting Cielo and you can't make me, Pein-sama yeah!"

Alice smiled when Pein blinked. "That's my girl."

"Does this mean you forfeit, Sanaa?" Genma asked.

Sanaa nodded firmly.

"Victory goes to Cielo of the Akatsuki then." Genma shrugged.

Cielo sighed and gave Sanaa a noogie when she walked over to him. "You always cause a scene. How very much like your parents."

"I told you so and I didn't even need premonitions." Alice chimed, looking up at Kathryn. "She's too sweet to hurt her friends."

Kathryn beamed. "I know."

"The next match is Taifū of Kiri versus Tiburon Uchiha of the Akatsuki." Genma announced.

The crowd went wild as both contestants made their way towards the proctors in the center of the arena. Alice frowned at the unusually enthusiastic crowd. "What's got them all excited?"

Genma glanced at her. "This kid, Kōri, Tiburon, and Cielo were the four favorites. They had the highest stats along with Sanaa. Though, the four boys were pulled for almost evenly. Tiburon was the most bet on by ten bets, probably because of you and the fact that he's an Uchiha. The Kiri kid came in second and then Cielo. Sanaa and Kōri were tied."

"Ah." Alice nodded, her eyes landing on the largest of the three Kiri genin. He was clearly older than Tiburon, probably fourteen or fifteen. He was large, he had tan skin, thick clothing, and vicious eyes.

Tiburon gazed at the larger male boredly, his eyes feeling much better though he could tell he would feel them tomorrow. His chakra was coiled, and he was ready to win this thing. All he needed to do was beat this kid.

Tiburon waited for Gemna to begin the match and when he did, Tiburon attacked immediately, having seen enough of this kid to know what he was capable of and that his ribs were his weak spot.

Tiburon fired a number of fire jutsu at Taifū, smirking when he was unable to dodge a few of them. He charged into the smoke caused by his fireballs, wanting to preserve his chakra, and he began laying down some quick traps for Taifū to fall prey to. He made a few clones and sent them on their way with supplies.

Tiburon located Taifū's chakra and shot out of the smoke cloud, forcing Taifū to cease his attempt to nurse his burns and defend himself.

Tiburon had to rely on speed because it was obvious Taifū was stronger than he was. However, Tiburon had a plan formulated on this guy who had been in the medic center since the first round getting painkillers for his ribs since they weren't allowed to heal him completely.

Taifū swore as he fell into one of Tiburon's traps. However, he managed to extract himself from the trap before any real damage could be done. He hopped closer to the proctors, only to receive a fist in the face by Tiburon's clone.

Taifū returned the punch, destroying the clone, his eyes locked on the real Tiburon who was stalking towards Taifū, looking determined.

Tiburon threw an explosive tag at Taifū, only for said Kiri-nin to deflect it. It blew up harmlessly away from any of them, until it sprung one of Tiburon's traps that shot out a net and pinned Taifū to the far wall.

Taifū glared at Tiburon who walked towards him and quickly did a substitution with one of Tiburon's clones. Tiburon dispelled that clone immediately and glared at Taifū as they faced each other.

"As I expected from an Uchiha." The Kiri-nin stated at a volume only Tiburon could hear. "Though, you're a bit more than I thought. I figured you'd be a weakling because of your whore of a mother."

Tiburon froze. His eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"

Alice frowned at the sudden change in Tiburon's attitude. He was rigid, and his Sharingan was spinning so fast Alice was surprised it wasn't spinning out of his head. If looks could kill, Tiburon would have set Taifū ablaze with his glare. She knew that look and whenever Tiburon wore that look, everything in his way met its demise.

"Why else would a powerful Uchiha like Itachi Uchiha marry a chakraless whore besides an easy fuck?" Taifū scoffed. "The only thing your mom's got going for her is her looks and her ability to see the future. She's a temperamental bitch who spouts off empty threats."

Tiburon's eye twitched and he clenched his fists. His chakra flared and all of the spectators besides the two lacking chakra were able to see his chakra pretty much blazing around him.

"Your father is a murderous, traitorous bastard who slaughtered his entire family for the hell of it. He's a coward and disgusting. That says volumes about you, kid." Taifū scoffed. "It figures he would have to resort to your strange as hell mother to get any sort of affection."

Blood dripped onto the ground beneath Tiburon's hands because of his fingernails digging into his palms.

"You're pathetic, just like she is." Taifū snapped. "All of the Akatsuki are a bunch of _freaks_."

Tiburon rocketed forward and drove his fist into Taifū's face. He pinned the larger boy to the ground, slamming kunai into his hands to keep him firmly in place. He then began slamming his fists repeatedly into Taifū's face.

"Say one more word about my mom and my family!" Tiburon snarled. "I _dare you!"_

Alice's eyes widened as Tiburon began pulverizing the teen. "Tiburon!"

Genma grabbed her arm. "No. Not yet. Taifū can still fight."

"His arms are nailed into the ground by those kunai." Alice snapped. "Look. Tiburon is backing his punches with chakra. There is no way a nine-year-old can cause that much damage with normal punches."

"A little longer." Genma soothed.

"Genma, he'll die if you don't stop Tiburon soon." Alice hissed. "Tiburon killed a kid from Kumo the same way during the second round. Remember? He crushed his skull."

Genma frowned and appeared over by Tiburon, grabbing his hand. Tiburon just used his other hand, jerking his fist from Genma's hold.

Alice pushed Genma out of the way and grabbed Tiburon's shoulder. He froze at her touch and looked around at her. "Mom?"

"Come here, Tibby." Alice said softly. She sighed slightly when Tiburon looked away from her, a frown on his face. Alice dragged her son away from Taifū and waved in the medics. She grabbed Tiburon's face and turned his head to face her.

"Tibby." Alice said gently. "Tibby look at me."

Tiburon continued to glare daggers at Taifū's unconscious form.

"Tiburon." Alice repeated firmly.

Tiburon blinked and turned his gaze towards his mother's. "Mom."

Alice stroked his cheek. "It's okay. Whatever just happened is over now." She used the sleeve of her jacket to wipe the blood off Tiburon's face. "It's alright."

"Sorry." He said quietly, looking away from Alice.

"Don't apologize." Alice stated. "You did nothing wrong." She brushed his bangs out of his face. "Why did you get so angry?"

Tiburon looked away. "He insulted you."

Alice rolled her eyes and hugged Tiburon, not caring that she got blood on her. He sighed as he inhaled her familiar and forever comforting scent. "I love you."

"I love you too." Tiburon said quietly, hugging her back. "Me and Cielo gotta fight now, Mom."

Alice nodded and released him. "I know." She looked at Genma. "He's alright now, Genma."

Genma patted Tiburon's head as he announced him as the winner and the crowd erupted into cheers. Cielo came down when Genma called him and he elbowed Tiburon with a smirk. Tiburon returned it weakly, still fuming about Taifū.

Alice rubbed her forehead, trying to quell the headache coming with a sigh. "You brats will be the death of me." She glanced at Genma and gestured at the kids. "Your call, Genma."

Genma nodded and opened his mouth to shout the beginning of the match.

"Stop!"

Everyone glanced up towards the Kage to see a messenger Shinobi bowing before Pein and Tsunade. Pein was on his feet and Konan looked shocked. Tsunade looked furious and shocked.

Alice frowned. "What's going on?" She looked at the bird on her shoulder. "Itachi?"

The bird shook its head before disappearing in a poof of feathers.

"This match is canceled." Tsunade announced. "Cielo and Tiburon tie as the winners of the third test of the Chūnin exam." She looked at Pein and dipped her head at him. The other Kage looked utterly concerned.

Pein glanced at Zetsu and he shrunk into the ground. He dipped his head at the others before Itachi appeared beside Alice, looking troubled. Kisame dropped down beside Itachi and scooped up Cielo and Tiburon. Sable was standing beside Hidan who was carrying Ash.

"Let's go." Itachi stated, picking up Alice.

Alice frowned. "Itachi, what's wrong?"

Itachi was silent as he took off after the others towards the Uchiha compound. As soon as they reached the Uchiha manor, Itachi set Alice down in the foyer and put his hands on either side of her face."Be patient. I will inform you of everything in a moment. Just stay here and do not move."

Kisame set Tiburon and Cielo down and motioned for them to stay as he darted after Itachi. Sable sat beside Alice and Ash joined them a moment later, going to Cielo's side instantly.

Fifteen minutes later, Itachi, Kisame, Alice, Tiburon, Cielo, and their fuzzy companions were standing outside of Pein's house, waiting for Pein to lead the way back to the base.

Alice grabbed Itachi's hand. "Itachi? Tell me what's wrong."

Itachi looked at her for a moment before his gaze flicked to the doorway of the house Pein and Konan were staying in. Pein exited the house, walking down the steps to stand before Alice, a serious, irritated look on his face.

"The Uchiha Stronghold has been destroyed." Pein stated eerily. "Apparently, not everyone supports peace. Someone is seeking to abolish the Alliance."

* * *

><p><em>Oh shit! Plot line!<em>

_**Fun Fact: **I don't have work until Wednesday. And that makes me happier than it should. :) Also, there are two ways this story could go from here. One is the way it will go because I've already planned it out. The other way might just be written as a teaser and for fun at some point. lol  
><em>

Answer: _Texting lingo. I fucking hate it. I also hate blatant rudeness and spoiled fucking brats._

**QotC: **_Out of the three segments of this story, which one is your favorite and why? I know StK isn't finished yet, but it already has more chapters than the first story.__  
><em>

_Time skip is coming up soon. We still have a handful of chapters until it gets here, but fair warning. It is coming up. Then we get to see hormonal teenagers! Woo!  
><em>

_See ya  
><em>


	50. Chapter 50

_Beep. Chapter fifty, _

_And my confusion grows. Last chapter got 30+ reviews in less time than the chapter before it.  
><em>

_Anyways. Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

I inhaled deeply as I entered our old base on the outskirts of Ame. It was like coming home. I hadn't realized how much I had missed this big, old place until coming back to it after over nine years.

I glanced over my shoulder at Kisame who was carrying a sleeping Cielo and Itachi who had Tiburon in his arms. Kakuzu had carried me here so Itachi and Kisame could transport the unconscious kids. Sasori, as usual, had carried Sanaa and left Deidara to carry Kathryn.

"Home sweet home." I stated. "I missed this place."

"I did too." Kakuzu grunted. "I miss having a base that no one knows about. The only ones who know where this place is are Sasuke and his three old teammates."

"It will be beneficial." Pein agreed, looking over the base. "All of you, search the base. Alice, you and Kathryn will stay right here with the kids and Hidan. The rest of you, let's go."

"Yes sir!" They all barked, dispersing. Itachi, Sasori, and Kisame took a moment longer than the others because of their sleeping children burdens. Itachi handed me Tiburon and Hidan took Cielo and Sanaa. Kathryn stood beside Hidan, holding Ash.

"Sable." Itachi called. "Come."

Sable followed after Itachi as he was the last to leave the entrance hall.

I swayed slightly from side to side with Tiburon sleeping in my arms with his head on my shoulder. I rested my head against his and rubbed his back with my hand that wasn't supporting him. "He's getting too big to do this with."

Kathryn smiled at me. "They're growing up way too fast."

"I agree." I replied. "I want them to stay little forever. Though, I kind of want to see a teenage Cielo. That'd be funny. Tiburon already acts like a teenager and Sanaa will probably be the same, just more womanly."

Kathryn giggled. "She's going to get all the boys."

Hidan glared. "The fuck she is. I'll kill every single one of those fuckers."

"I second Hidan." I chimed.

Kathryn snickered. "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!"

"And they're like, it's better than yours~." I continued, smirking a bit.

"I don't think I want to know."

I looked around and smirked at Sasori. "Boobs Sasori. Big voluminous hooters."

Itachi face-palmed.

It was the most epic face palm I've ever seen. It was audible too.

Kisame and Deidara started laughing while Hidan cackled. Pein, Kakuzu, and Sasori just rolled their eyes. Konan simply smiled.

"What the hell do you two talk about when you're alone?" Kisame wondered.

"You don't want to know." Kathryn chirped.

I shrugged. "Usually boobs, dicks, you guys, girls, sex, underwear, and animals." I handed Itachi Tiburon when he offered to take him. "All that nice stuff."

"You two are worse than men." Kakuzu deadpanned.

I scoffed. "What do you think we talk about? Make up, rainbows, and dresses? Fuck that girly shit, dude." I extended my arms towards Kathryn. "Fox please."

Kathryn waved her hand in Kakuzu's direction after giving me Ash. Ash acknowledged me with a tired lick. "We do talk about rainbows sometimes." She smirked. "Though, we only talked about it because Alice was telling me how she would slaughter the leprechaun at the end of the rainbow to take his gold."

Itachi sighed deeply. "My wife is more of a hardass than most of the Shinobi I know."

"Damn straight." I smirked. "Seriously though, Kakuzu. Are you surprised by this?"

He shrugged. "No. But most of the woman on TV talk about girly things."

"They also have pillow fights in their underwear during sleepovers." I deadpanned. "Kathryn and I used to play bloody knuckles at our sleepovers and plan murders that would never be solved." I shrugged. "We also played first person shooter video games and Skyrim."

Kisame rumpled my hair. "There are so many things wrong with you, but they are what make you so loveable."

I hugged him with one fox-less arm. "I love you too, Kisa."

He chuckled and returned my hug before releasing me and taking Cielo from Hidan.

"Not that discussing Alice's malfunctions isn't fun, but I have to set up my workshop, and it is past the brats' bedtimes." Sasori finished. "Deidara, Kathryn, bed." He looked at Hidan. "I'll take Sanaa, Hidan."

Hidan surrendered Sanaa and Sasori carried her over to Kathryn and Deidara before shooing them towards their old bedrooms with his foot and threats.

I smirked after them. "I'm so glad he doesn't try that shit with me."

"No, but I do." Pein stated. "Bed, all of you. We've traveled far and we have much to do to get this base running again tomorrow." He narrowed his eyes at the men. "And Alice will _not_ be cleaning on her own tomorrow."

"Yes sir." All of the guys replied quickly.

I patted Pein's shoulder. "Love you, Pein."

He patted my head absently. "Bed."

"Nighty night lovelies." I called, waving at Konan and Pein. I threw a hug on Hidan, fist-bumped Kakuzu, and led Kisame and Itachi to our old bedrooms.

Itachi carried Tiburon into Sasuke's old room across the hall and placed Tiburon in there. Kisame put Cielo in Jūgo's old room and I put Ash in there with him before sending Sable to watch over Tiburon.

After saying goodnight to my two sleeping boys, I bid Kisame a good night before heading into my room with Itachi. We prepared our bed quickly and tossed all of our shit in the corner to be unpacked tomorrow. Shortly after, we climbed into bed and cuddled until sleep took us.

"Alice."

I opened my eyes and frowned at the darkness of my bedroom. Glancing away from my sleeping weasel, I looked over my shoulder and frowned at seeing Cielo there.

"Cielo, what's wrong sweetie?" I asked, rolling over.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Tiburon's having a night terror. I couldn't calm him down when I tried."

"Okay." I nodded. I extracted myself from Itachi's person and walked out of my bedroom and to Tiburon's room.

I pushed aside my distress at seeing him jerking around in his bed and whimpering. I sat beside him on his bed and wrapped my arms around him before pulling him into my lap. Cielo sat beside me on the bed, petting Sable and smothering yawns.

Tiburon calmed after a few moments, but was latched onto me in a grip that pretty much demanded I not let go of him. I sighed and picked him up. "I'm taking him into my room, Cielo." I offered my hand to Cielo. "There's room for you too."

Cielo looked at me. "I'm alright, Alice."

"Cielo, I know you can't sleep. How else would you know Tiburon was having a night terror? He wasn't loud and these walls are thick." I stated. "Come on."

Looking down, Cielo followed me to my bedroom with Ash and Sable trailing behind him. I detached Tiburon from my person and pushed Itachi to wake him.

Itachi glared at me.

"Don't give me that look." I stated, frowning at him. I offered him Tiburon. "Take him. I get the other one."

Itachi's glare vanished and he took Tiburon before scooting over. I rolled into bed beside Tiburon and extended my arms for Cielo. "Get in here, sweetie.'

Cielo rolled his eyes and when he took too long, I snatched him off his feet and pulled him into a hug. I kissed his forehead. "Get comfy."

Cielo snuggled into me and I couldn't help but smile at his cuteness. I held onto him securely as Sable and Ash hopped onto the bed with Itachi and I.

"Thank you." Cielo said quietly.

I stroked his hair. "Absolutely, Cielo. I don't care how old you are or what's going on. I always have room for you in my arms." I sighed tiredly. "Now go to sleep. We have stuff to do tomorrow."

I felt Itachi kiss the back of my head and I smiled as I clung to my unofficially adopted son.

Yeah, I have an amazing family filled with cute boys.

"This shit is so fucking lame!"

"Now you know how I feel every day of my life." I retorted, smacking Hidan in the head with my towel. "Stop bitching and keep cleaning."

He glared at me. "I'll fucking kill you, Ice Bitch."

"Bring it. Itachi will drown you in the cleaning supplies." I challenged, throwing my thumb in the direction of the Uchiha who was mopping the kitchen floor. Itachi smirked as he continued to mop but otherwise didn't acknowledge my statement.

"We've been at this shit for five fucking hours." Hidan whined.

"And you're the only one bitching about it." Sasori chimed as he entered the kitchen. He deposited his cleaning supplies on the table before looking at me. "Deidara, Kathryn, and I finished with all of the bathrooms. What now?"

I rubbed my chin. "Kisame and Kakuzu are on the living room, and the kids are tidying up the training ground. I guess you guys can start on the hallways."

"What the fuck are the leaders doing?" Hidan asked.

"Meeting room, offices, some of the spare rooms, and probably the weaponry." I explained. "Konan mentioned cleaning the medical center. Sasori, you can help her if you want and leave the hallways to Dei and Kat."

Sasori nodded.

I cracked my knuckles. "There's a quick way to get the hallways clean."

"And what does that entail?" Sasori wondered.

I smirked. "I require Kisame."

"Let me get out of the area first, and you might want to have barriers over the doors to keep any water from getting in them." He sighed.

"I'll give you a five minute head start." I offered. I whistled. "KISAME!"

About three minutes later, Kisame poked his head into the kitchen. "You called."

"Yes love, wanna help me clean the hallways?" I asked. "I have an idea."

He grinned. "What did you have in mind?"

"Tachi, chakra barriers please?" I asked, looking at my husband.

Itachi focused his right hand on the floor before doing the typical hand sign for concentration that all ninjas do. He looked up at me. "Done."

I gave him a gentle kiss. "Thank you."

He dipped his head. "Of course, Alice."

"Hidan, call everyone and tell them to stay inside a room. Make sure they don't go into any of the hallways. You have four minutes to get to the training grounds and tell the kids." I stated, tossing Hidan my cell phone. "Kisame, come with me."

"Got it, Ice Bitch." Hidan stated, dialing a number as he began jogging towards the training grounds.

I grabbed a shit load of cleaning supplies and carried them with me to a dead end hallway. With Kisame's help, we emptied all of them into a pile on the floor. Kisame stood at the very end of the hallway with me on his back.

I smirked. "It's all you, Kisa."

He grinned and flew through some hand signs before summoning basically a fucking ocean.

It hit the cleaning supplies and picked it up before rushing through the hallways of the base, resulting in a bubbly mess of cleanliness. When it finally ended, the hallways were all soapy and wet.

Kisame called on another ocean to get rid of the soap and when everything was free of the suds, the water disappeared under Kisame's bidding.

I hopped down from Kisame's back and hugged him. "Best pressure-washer ever."

He hugged me back, grinning. "Thanks."

"That was awesome!"

Kisame and I looked around to see Tiburon running down the hallway, obviously having watched the whole thing from the safety of the training grounds. He collided with Kisame and grinned at him. "That was so cool, Kisa."

Kisame rumbled Tiburon's hair. "Thanks Tibby." He glanced in the direction of the training grounds. "How is cleaning going for you?"

"We're done." Tiburon stated. "This place is so big. What is this place and how come there's so much room?"

I stroked Tiburon's hair. "This is where we lived before you were born, baby."

"So why are we here?" Tiburon asked. "When are we going home?"

"This is our new home now." I told him. "We've moved in to stay."

Tiburon's curious expression fell. "But what about the Love Shack?"

I sighed. "It's not there anymore, Tiburon. There were bad ninjas who destroyed it. We had to leave."

He frowned. "What about Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, and everyone else?"

"They're still in Konoha." I explained. "This base is near Ame. It's a secret base, so only Sasuke can come here. No one else is allowed to know where this base is."

"But Ame's really far away from Konoha." Tiburon stated. "So Sasuke can't come here a lot. And we can't visit him either."

I closed my eyes. "I know, Tiburon. I'm sorry. But Pein's orders are absolute. We're staying."

He pushed my hand off his head and stormed down the hallway. I looked after him before glancing at Kisame. "I assumed this would happen."

Kisame patted my head. "He'll come around. He just needs to get used to it."

I sighed. "It'll be more difficult than that. Tiburon's my son and he has my stubbornness and temper. He won't be okay with this for a while if ever."

"Have any of you seen Tiburon?" Itachi asked, walking into the living room where the rest of us were sitting after a day of hard work.

I glanced at him. "He's probably sulking."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Sanaa for a while…" Sasori mused. He glanced at me. "Why are they sulking?"

"Because Konoha's far away." I sighed.

Itachi sighed. "He's upset about the lack of Sasuke, isn't he?"

"Most likely." I said boredly. I glanced at Sasori. "I have no idea about Sanaa, though."

Deidara got up. "I'll go talk to her, un."

"Is Cielo with them?" Kisame asked.

"Probably just as emotional support." I mused. "I don't think Cielo cares all that much."

Kathryn sighed. "That's just what we need, more stoic, indifferent people." She huffed. "Boring."

Sasori pulled her ear. "I take offense to that."

"I take offense to your face." Kathryn pouted, rubbing her ear when Sasori let her go.

Sasori jabbed her stomach, causing Kathryn to burst into giggles. "Watch it, Brat."

I sighed and got up, trailing after Deidara. "It's so boring without the kids to pester."

**Third Person!**

Deidara chewed boredly on his lip as he trailed down the hallway in the direction of his daughter's chakra. He poked his head into the room, being sure to disguise his presence so he could listen in on the kids.

Tiburon was lying on his back on the bed in the room, his arms under his head and a scowl on his face as he glared at the ceiling. Sanaa sat beside Tiburon, her legs folded in an Indian style sitting position. She was picking at the comforter on the bed absently, looking troubled.

Cielo was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his feet propped on the bed and Ash in his lap. He looked utterly unconcerned and bothered as he pet his fuzzy companion.

"I hate it here." Tiburon grumbled.

"We just got here." Cielo told him. "You haven't given it a chance. Ame isn't bad."

Tiburon glared at Cielo. "It's too far away from Konoha. Sasuke can't come and see us that often."

Sanaa bit her lip sadly. "And we can't go to Konoha and see everyone else that much." She rubbed at her eyes. "This place is too rainy too. I miss the sunshine."

Cielo rolled his eyes. "You two are so dramatic. We've only been here for one day."

"We've been to Ame before." Tiburon countered. "We didn't like it then either."

"This is my home." Cielo said simply with a shrug. "You get used to the rain."

"I don't want to get used to it." Sanaa pouted.

Cielo sighed. "We have no choice. The grownups say we're living here, so this is where we're living. I miss the Love Shack too, but home isn't a building, it's with the people who love you. Last time I checked, inanimate objects like a base can't love. But your parents do love you."

Tiburon frowned. "I don't love them right now. Why can't we go home?"

"I don't know." Cielo admitted.

Deidara sighed and pulled out of the room before knocking on the door. "Sanaa, Tibby, Cielo, un?"

"Go away, Dei." Tiburon stated.

Sanaa bit her lip. "Tibby, don't be mean to Daddy."

Deidara walked into the room and raised his eyebrows at the kids. "Why are you guys in here, yeah?"

"Because grownups suck." Tiburon told him.

Sanaa looked down. "We want to go home, Daddy."

Deidara sighed. "I'm sorry kids, un. But we can't go back to the Love Shack because there is nothing to go back to. The base was destroyed while we were in Konoha un."

"But why did we have to move to Ame?" Tiburon asked. "Why not Konoha?"

"Because this is a secret base where we are safe from any others." Alice stated, appearing in the doorway behind Deidara.

**First Person!**

Tiburon rolled away from me to face the wall.

I sighed. "We don't know if the people who attached the base weren't from Konoha. Pein isn't about to risk his organization, and I am not about to risk any lives just so Sasuke can visit on occasion." I looked at Cielo and Sanaa since Tiburon was being difficult. "I am sorry to take you three away from home, but it had to be done."

Sanaa sighed dejectedly. "But why so far away, Icy? Why to Ame? It's too rainy."

"It's only rainy because Pein is watching over his village." I told her. "And this is our most secure and largest base and it had to be close to Ame so Pein could watch over his village, Sanaa. I know it's hard, but you'll get used to it. Your mom didn't like it at first either, but she was probably the one who was most excited about moving back in here after a while."

Cielo rolled his eyes when Sanaa and Tiburon both sighed and grumbled. He looked at me. "They'll get over it, Alice. I have no problems with the move. In fact, I'm glad. Konoha is too warm."

I stroked Cielo's hair as Tiburon turned around to glare at him.

"Shut up Cielo. No one asked you." Tiburon snapped.

I glared at him. "Tiburon Shisui Uchiha, if I ever hear you speak to Cielo like that again, I will wear your ass into the ground. Do you understand me?"

He ignored me.

"Tiburon, I am talking to you." I barked. "Look at me."

"Go away, Mom." Tiburon growled.

"No I will not go away." I snapped. "You better quit being a disobedient little brat, Tiburon or you will be in for a world of hurt."

He scoffed. "You don't scare me."

"I will in a second." I threatened. "Look at me, Tiburon. _Now_."

"Shut up, Mom." He retorted.

I was seconds away from beating my child but stopped when another person joined the conversation. "Tiburon."  
>Tiburon tensed at the threat in Itachi's voice. Even Sanaa and Cielo paled at it.<p>

"Don't talk to your mother that way." Itachi growled. "Or your mother will not be the one you need to fear." He crossed his arms. "Apologize. Now."

Tiburon got up and walked out of the room, slipping by Itachi and avoiding all of our gazes. I glared after him. "That brat."

Itachi's eyebrow twitched. "I'll get him."

"No, leave him alone." I sighed. "He'll just find something else to whine about later."

Deidara sighed. "Sanaa, are you gonna come and spend time with us, yeah?"

Sanaa looked at Deidara before looking after Tiburon. She looked at Cielo before shaking her head. "I'm gonna go find Tibby, Dad." She hopped off the bed and grabbed Cielo's hand. "Come on Cielo."

Cielo looked at Sanaa seriously. "I doubt Tiburon wants to talk to me, Sanaa."

"I want to talk to you though." Sanaa stated. "He's a butthead when he's angry. Just ignore him." She tugged on his hand. "Come on."

Cielo sighed and adhered to her request. "Alright." He looked at me as Sanaa pulled him from the room. "I'll flare my chakra if anything happens."

"Thank you." I told him. I looked at Deidara and Itachi. "Let's go back. I'm tired of dealing with snotty children."

Itachi squeezed my hand and kissed the side of my head. "They will learn."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "And people wonder why I hate kids."

* * *

><p><em>There are probably a hundred mistakes in this chapter. I'm just not in the mood to edit.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Dolly usually doesn't play with toys. But I got her a ball, and she refuses to let it go. I'm the only one that's allowed to take it. She won't even let Bo get near it. She is currently lying on the couch beside me, protecting it.  
><em>

Answer: _Consider Yourselves Kitties and Man I Miss the Kitties. I just see both of those as funnier and my muse was better with them._

**QotC: **_Would you guys like to see route two for this story? I'm probably just going to post the alternative chapter for fun at some point anyways, but I'll post it sooner if you guys want to see it. (I will not post it as part of this story, but as a different one.)__  
><em>

_**WotC: **Lindo - Cute  
><em>

_To answer some questions: Yes, I do actually live in Ohio. And despite the bipolar weather, I do like living here. I'll also be going to college here in Ohio too. :)  
><em>

_I would like to make all of you go and check out the fanart and fanfanfictions I have. 99% of my fanart is on Deviant Art. They're all in my favorites and my account is under the same penname DaniZaraki. All of my fanfanfictions are in my favorites. I'm drawing special attention to Dreami-Chwan/xdreamernumbuhfour because she has drawn me and wrote more fan stuff than any other person. Tori-Da-Mutt has written a long, on-going fanfiction in collaboration with me, and a number of other people have made me some pretty amazing stuff. So go check it out. Let them know how awesome they are.  
><em>

_I also would like to take a moment to tell all of you how awesome you are. This is going to sound incredibly cheesy and fake, but I truly am proud to have written these stories because of all of the support I get from you guys and the friends I have made through it. You guys are more incredible than words can describe. Thank you. :)  
><em>

_Now, enough with the mushiness. XD Have a good day guys.  
><em>

_See ya.  
><em>


	51. Chapter 51

_I do not own Naruto or the song Show Me Your Genitals._

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p>There are some things you should never do if you're not me living in a house inhabited mostly by males. One of those things is walk around with earbuds in your ears, blaring loud, inappropriate music, while singing along with it while cleaning.<p>

Because you're probably singing to it louder than you think you are.

There I was, cleaning the kitchen, singing a very inappropriate song that was playing on my ipod, when Itachi walks into the room without me noticing him. And I keep on singing along.

"Show me your genitals, your genitals. Show me your genitals! Genitalia!" I sing, oblivious to the fact that my husband was watching me with the strangest look on his face.

I smiled to myself as I sang. "Knock knock, who's there? It's me, wondering why you're not naked."

**Third Person!**

Itachi raised his eyebrow as Alice continued singing a ridiculous song as she did the dishes. He stood in the doorway of the kitchen, looking utterly confused.

"What are you looking at, Itachi?" Sasori asked, walking into the kitchen behind Itachi.

Itachi gestured at Alice.

She snickered to herself. "I can give good sex to you, cause I'm really good at sex."

Sasori's eyebrows lifted. "Is she aware that we're listening to her?"

"I doubt it." Itachi said with a sigh. He walked forward and wrapped his arms around Alice from behind and kissed her neck, pulling out one of her headphones. "Alice…"

Alice sighed and closed her eyes. "I was singing that loudly wasn't I?"

Itachi nodded.

"Fuck." Alice groaned. She looked back at Itachi and then smirked. "You can show me your genitals if you want."

"Not in the kitchen." Sasori grunted.

Alice looked at him and her smirk widened. "You know you want Itachi to show you his genitals too, Sasori."

Sasori feigned shock horribly. "You caught me."

Itachi looked deeply disturbed.

"I'm not even going to ask."

Alice laughed as Kakuzu and Kisame walked in, looking just as disturbed and confused as Itachi. "Hey guys."

"Alice." Kisame chuckled, rumpling the brunette's hair. "You're a strange woman."

"Tell me something I don't know." She scoffed. "Anyways, what are you guys doing?" She frowned. "Don't tell me you're hungry again."

Kakuzu shook his head. "Leader wants to hold a meeting."

"Is it about those fuckers who blew up our base?" Alice asked.

"Most likely." Sasori confirmed.

Alice nodded. "Who's all going?"

"All of us besides the children." Itachi informed her. He kissed Alice's forehead. "Come on, Love."

Meanwhile…

"Tiburon, you're insane." Cielo pointed out.

Tiburon glared at him. "Shut up, Cielo. If you aren't with us, then leave."

"I never said I wasn't going to help you. I just said you were insane for doing this." Cielo sighed. "Why do I have to have a teammate who has as much self preservation as a suicide bomber?" He shook his head. "We're going to get in so much trouble."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Sanaa is supposed to be the scaredy-cat. Not you, Cielo."

"Hey, yeah!" Sanaa protested.

Cielo patted Sanaa's head soothingly. "I personally don't want your father to rip our heads off. With the way you've been acting, it's only a matter of time. And I for one am terrified of Alice when she's in one of her moods."

Sanaa shivered. "Icy and Tachi can get really scary."

"My mom can't catch us." Tiburon shrugged. "And my dad won't do anything other than yell at us. He's never spanked me."

Sanaa paled. "Sori-Danna and Daddy will be so mad yeah." She grabbed Tiburon's shirt. "Tibby, I don't want to do this anymore."

"Sanaa, don't you want to go home?" Tiburon asked. "Don't you miss Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, and the others?" He frowned. "I do."

She looked down. "I do, Tibby… But I don't want to get in trouble."

"It'll be okay." Tiburon soothed. "I'll take full credit."

Cielo scoffed. "Better get used to standing, because Alice will make it impossible for you to sit."

"Whatever. Let's just go." Tiburon concluded. "I want to go home."

**First Person Alice!**

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "So, have you figured anything out? Do you have any idea who did it?" I looked at Pein seriously. "I'm guessing this was what was bothering you in Konoha."

Pein sighed and nodded. "You're correct. Though, it seemed as if nothing more than a minor annoyance at the time. I was suspicious of it growing larger, and it obviously has." He crossed his arms. "All I know is that a number of people either miss fighting, hate the Alliance, hate a certain village, or hate us. We can't jump to conclusions about anything. Everything needs to be inspected thoroughly and verified in case we suspect the wrong person."

"Any leads?" Itachi asked.

"Not yet. Konoha is helping us solve this mystery and I sent Zetsu back to the stronghold in order to see if he could dig anything up. I haven't heard from him yet." Pein explained. "From the activity that was going on before our base was destroyed, I know these people are ninjas, and there are quite a few of them. I also believe they are rogues."

Kakuzu rested his elbows on the table. "So if they're rogues, where is their base of operations? Are they grouping together or are they spread out among various bases? Is their leader directly involved with them and issuing orders, are they like us, or are they working for someone in the shadows with power?"

"I don't know." Pein admitted. "So far, Konoha is the only one of the villages interested in helping us solve this matter since the attack was in the Land of Fire. The others haven't seen it as a concern yet."

I crossed my arms. "Isn't that for the better though? I mean, I know Tsunade better than I know probably anyone besides you and Gaara, Pein. I know Tsunade would never even consider going back on the Alliance unless Konoha was at stake. Gaara's the same way. However, Ōnoki is all about the prosperity of his village and if he thinks he'll gain something by ending the Alliance, he will. The Raikage is the same way, and I get a similar vibe from Mei. All three of them are greedy. All three of them want to be the top dog like Konoha." I sighed. "It's awful to say, but Tsunade and Gaara are the ones we can trust. We'll incorporate the others into this when we are certain they have played no part in it."

"Alice is right." Sasori nodded. "Besides, so far, we were the only ones attacked. Right now, it's our business. Konoha is involved because it happened _in_ the Land of Fire. Leave the others out of it until the need arises." He closed his eyes. "It's also important to note that though we have an Alliance, and we all fought together, we're still missing-nin and our old villages probably have some animosity towards us."

Kakuzu scoffed. "No kidding."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "I say we just fucking kill all of the bastards."

"Shut up, Hidan un." Deidara said with a frown. "You know we'd get our asses handed to us if we took on all of the major hidden villages by ourselves, un. Even with our talents and skills, and Alice's knack for guessing, we'd be wiped out in a month yeah."

"Probably less than that." Konan stated.

"Attacking the other villages is out of the question." Pein said shortly. "We will investigate this thoroughly and hope it is merely a band of morons who want to cause some dissention."

"Like us!" Kathryn chirped.

"I resent that comment." Sasori and I said in unison.

We both turned to each other and glared. "I resent you."

Cue unison huffing and looking away from each other.

Kathryn giggled. "I still say you two are alike."

"Shut up!" We snapped.

I pouted. "Why does this always happen?"

He sighed. "We need to stop doing that."

I grabbed Itachi and kissed him. "You're sexy." I smirked when everyone stared at my randomness. "There. Now Sasori can't copy me." I gave him a look. "Kiss my weasel, and I dismantle you."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Excuse you. You are the one copying me."

"The fuck I am." I scoffed. "I would never copy a loser like you. You're mimicking me because I'm so fucking awesome words can't describe me."

He gave me a deadpan stare. "You throw temper tantrums about nude photos."

"Because they're fucking disgusting!" I snapped. "The people who take nude pictures of themselves have no self respect and those who indulge in the pictures don't respect that person!"

Kathryn raised her eyebrow. "So, if Itachi gave you a nude picture of himself, and you like it, does that mean you don't respect him?"

I glared at her. "One, the situation is totally different. He's my husband. Two, I'd hit him if he took a nude picture of himself because he's an Uchiha and Uchiha are too cool for that and also because why would I need a picture when I can just rip his clothes off whenever I want and drool over him?"

Itachi sighed. "Why am I always in the middle of your bickering and sarcastic remarks? And why do you always talk about me lacking clothes?"

"Because you define me as a person and my life is centered on you and your sexiness." I said dismissively. "Just sit there and look beautiful."

Kisame snickered from my other side and smirked at Itachi. "You're a trophy husband."

"And you're a pet shark." Itachi retorted smoothly.

Pein rubbed his forehead as I defended Kisame when he pouted. "All of you, shut up." He sighed when we fell silent. "This is a serious meeting. Alice, Sasori, don't even look at each other."

Sasori sighed and I pouted.

"And Alice, none of us want to know about Itachi and what you do to him behind closed doors." Pein added.

I scoffed. "You should." Itachi face-palmed.

Pein glared at me.

"Shutting up." I said quickly.

"Good. Now, this meeting is closed. When Zetsu returns, I expect all of you to come here so we can see what information he has for us." Pein concluded. "All of you are dismissed."

I made to comment but stopped when the door burst open and Sable came in, nose to the ground. She sniffed all around the room, unaware that we were all staring at her before she stopped before me on her second round. She sat down in front of me and howled.

"You found me?" I asked. I pet her. "What's wrong Sable?"

A second later, Ash trotted in. He pawed at my leg.

"Hungry?" I asked.

Sable didn't jump to her feet so I ruled that out.

"Potty?" I questioned.

She didn't respond.

I frowned. "Tibby?"

She jumped to her feet and darted to the door. She stood there, waiting for me with her ears back and tail stiff. Ash ran over to her, looking at me expectantly.

"Find Tibby, Sable." I ordered, getting up. I followed after Sable until she led me to the door leading to the outdoor training grounds. She pawed at the door, whimpering. I frowned at seeing it was unlocked and I went outside.

I looked around, thankful it wasn't raining. "Tiburon!"

No response.

"Ash, where's Cielo?" I asked, looking down at the fox.

Ash sat down beside me, looking confused.

My eyes narrowed. "Itachi!"

Itachi was by my side in an instant. "What is it, Alice?"

"Something is wrong. Have everyone search the base for the kids." I stated.

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "Alright."

I remained outside, inspecting the clearing thoroughly. I had just reached the far end of the clearing when Itachi returned to me, looking extremely tense.

"They're not in the base." Itachi stated.

I tensed immediately too. "Where's Pein?"

"Inside." Itachi stated.

"Tell him to make it rain." I hissed.

Itachi went quiet for a moment and a few moments later, rain began to pour from the sky. I looked up at the sky. "Let us know if you find them, Pein." I glanced at Itachi. "Let's go. I think I might know where they're heading if they weren't kidnapped."

Itachi dipped his head. "Wait a moment. The others will want to go."

As soon as he said that, Kisame emerged from the base in full Akatsuki attire with Samehada on his back. He handed Itachi his cloak and offered me my hooded trench coat. Sasori, Deidara, and Kathryn came out a few seconds later, followed by Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Dei." I stated.

Deidara nodded and swiftly formed an owl. He hopped onto it when it came to life and pulled Kathryn up there with him. "We'll signal you if we see anything, yeah."

"Be careful." Sasori barked.

"Bye Danna." Kathryn smiled. "We'll see you later."

I watched them go before looking at the others. "Let's head towards the Love Shack."

Kakuzu looked at me. "We should split up to cover a larger range."

I nodded. "Sounds good. You and Hidan go together. Kisame and Sasori, you go together, and Itachi and I will take Sable. Ash, go wait for Cielo."

Ash, who had taken refuge beneath me to avoid the rain, gave a cute little bark and then hurried inside. He didn't mind. He didn't like the rain too much.

Kakuzu elbowed Hidan. "Come on." Hidan grunted and they set off.

Sasori and Kisame took off shortly after them, moving with super ninja speed.

Itachi picked me up and adjusted me so I was on his back. He glanced back at me. "Ready?"

I kissed his cheek. "Let's go." I looked at Sable. "Sable, find Tibby."

With a howl, she shot forward. Itachi raced after her, utterly determined to find the kids and probably set them on fire if they left by choice.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah... The kids are in some deep, serious shit.<br>_

_**Fun Fact: **I love Memes. They're hilarious.  
><em>

Answer: _I will post the second route at some point. For now, just enjoy the story. I'll let you guys know when I post it.__  
><em>

**QotC:** _If you guys could as _me_ any question about anything and I had to answer it, what would you ask me? This obviously means I'm giving you a chance to ask me something without restraint. I will answer whatever questions you guys have, even about the story and spoilers and stuff. I limit you to one question each, however. Though, that doesn't mean you can't try and cheat and review as a guest. Just a thought._

_**WotC: **Trouble - problema (among others)  
><em>

_Have you guys read the oneshot that leads into the Road to Ninja movie? It's so cute. I love it. And the last panel is amazing.  
><em>

_That's all from me right now, guys.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	52. Chapter 52

_My email/Fanfiction is being a bitch right about now._

_But whatever.  
><em>

_The Batman movie was fucking amazing.  
><em>

_I love Bane.  
><em>

_Bowie is attacking me right now.  
><em>

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

"Can we go back?" Sanaa wondered, looking at Tiburon as he stood at the entrance to the cave they were sitting in. "It's raining and it's cold."

"You're dry." Tiburon told her. "Quit whining."

"It's still cold." She pouted.

Tiburon rolled his eyes and grabbed some of the logs he and Cielo had gathered before the rain began. He set them in the middle of the cave before doing a small Katon jutsu and setting them ablaze. "There."

Cielo sighed and closed his eyes. "Stop being mean to her. It's not her fault it's cold."

"I'm not being mean." He snapped. "I'm always like this."

Cielo nodded. "I know. That's my point."

Tiburon glared at him. "Shut up, Cielo."

"A wonderful comeback, Tiburon." Cielo deadpanned. He shook his head. "We really should move on if we want to make it to the stronghold before the adults find us."

Tiburon pointed outside. "It's storming."

"You will travel through worse as a ninja. Rain is the least hindering of bad weather." Cielo sighed. "Besides, this is a storm that is better left behind."

"What do you mean?" Tiburon asked.

"The others know we are gone. This is Pein-sama's rain." Cielo told him. "You can feel the chakra in the drops." He looked at Tiburon. "And it will last as long as he wants it to."

Tiburon sighed. "Damn it."

"I hate to say I told you so." Cielo began. "But I told you so."

Sanaa pouted and held her hands out to the fire. "So, we can't go home?"

"We can if we keep moving." Tiburon stated.

Cielo sighed. "Tiburon's right. We do have a good head start."

"Then let's go." Sanaa concluded.

Cielo extinguished the fire with a simple water jutsu before standing up. "You ready? We have to move quick if we want to outrun Pein-sama's rain."

Tiburon nodded. "Let's go."

He shot out of the cave with Cielo and Sanaa right on his tail. He was the fastest of the three and the one supplied with the most chakra so he easily kept the lead. Cielo was directly behind him and Sanaa, who had the best chakra control, was keeping pace with Cielo easily.

The trio ran swiftly over the landscape, trying to put the rain behind them.

"The rain is lessening." Cielo stated.

"We must be reaching the extent of his storm." Tiburon concluded. "Either that, or he's ending it because he found us."

Cielo nodded. "Which is just as likely."

"So let's go faster!" Sanaa decided.

The kids ran for a time, quickly putting the rain behind them. The ground and landmarks zoomed by as they charged in the direction of Konoha. As they ran, darkness began to fall as night caught up with them.

"Tibby, I'm tired. Can we stop?" Sanaa asked. "We've been running really fast all day."

Tiburon glanced back at her, his eyes periodically flicking to the dirt road ahead of them as they traveled through a thick forest. "Just a little further Sanaa. Then we'll make camp."

Cielo glanced at Sanaa before frowning. "Do you guys feel that massive chakra signature?"

Tiburon frowned and focused on his surroundings. "Yeah. It's not big enough to be Kisa though, and it's only one person."

"Yeah, but it is moving fast." Cielo stated. "And it's moving in our direction."

Sanaa's eyes widened. "It's…"

She was interrupted as tentacles shot towards them from within the trees. She screamed as she was lifted off her feet. Tiburon managed to fight off a few, having been warned of the oncoming threat by Sanaa, but he was quickly overtaken by the threads.

Cielo skidded to a stop and allowed the threads to grab him, not bothering to fight like his team. It would be a waste of energy.

"Found them." Kakuzu grunted as he pulled all three kids back to where he and Hidan were now standing. He looked over them and narrowed his eyes. "I hope you three know you're in deep trouble."

Tiburon gave Kakuzu a sheepish smile. "Hey, Kuzu-oji. Nice night, huh?"

Kakuzu stared at him. "You're in the most trouble, brat."

Tiburon sighed. "Damn it."

"Let's go back to the base, Kakuzu." Hidan stated. "Ice Bitch and the other fuckers are heading back. I just fucking called them and told them we caught the little shits." He grinned and poked Tiburon's stomach. "I can't fucking wait until Ice Bitch sees you. She's fucking _pissed_."

Tiburon and Cielo both paled.

"Sasori didn't seem too fucking happy either." Hidan added, looking at Sanaa.

* * *

><p>Sanaa winced.<p>

Kakuzu tied Tiburon up, knowing he would be the one to run, and tucked him under one arm before picking Cielo up. Hidan picked Sanaa up and held her as they began their trek back to the base.

Kathryn bit her lip, throwing nervous glances between Sasori, Deidara, Alice, and Itachi. All four of them were absolutely livid. She was disappointed in Sanaa for running away, but she couldn't stay mad at her princess, especially when Sanaa have her the puppy-dog eyes.

The others, not so much.

As soon as she found out the kids had left on their own, Alice had went into one of her moods. And it was her worst mood. Itachi had fallen silent and he hadn't said a word all night. However, his Eternal was engaged and it was spinning angrily as he sat there, glaring at the far wall.

Sasori wasn't happy either. He had been grumbling under his breath about how he was going to kill "those brats" and he would be short and snappy to anyone who dared to bother him. Deidara was angry too, but much less angry than the other three. He wouldn't even consider doing more than yell at Sanaa since nothing happened. But he was mad that she would just run off.

"Is it just me, or can you taste the hostility in the fucking air?" Hidan's voice asked.

"It's not just you." Kakuzu replied.

Hidan cackled. "I feel bad for you little brats."

The remote in Alice's hands snapped in half.

"So fucking bad…" Hidan snickered. He walked into the living room with Sanaa in his grasp. He set her down on the floor in the middle of the room just a second before Kakuzu dropped Cielo on his feet and Tiburon on his bottom beside her.

Tiburon winced. "Ouch, Kuzu-oji. Did you have to drop me?"

"Yes." Kakuzu stated boredly, cutting off Tiburon's binds.

"_Tiburon_."

Tiburon paled and he slowly looked over his shoulder. The little color in his face completely vanished when he saw the anger in his parents' faces and the now useless remote in his mother's hands.

He gulped.

Cielo tensed, having seen Alice's rage many times. And Itachi looked angrier than he had ever seen him.

"Hi Mom…" Tiburon muttered.

Alice's eye twitched.

"Sanaa." Sasori growled.

Sanaa whimpered and avoided looking at him at all costs.

Kisame cleared his throat. "Why don't we do this elsewhere?" He stood up. "Alice, Itachi, take Cielo and Tiburon to your room. Deidara, Kathryn, Sasori, why don't you three go deal with Sanaa somewhere else? I personally don't want to watch Alice eat her own young."

Hidan snorted and Kakuzu chuckled.

"Good idea." Alice snarled. "You two have three seconds to get my bedroom." She held up her fingers. "Starting now."

Tiburon and Cielo darted from the room so fast they lift imprints of their image in the room.

Sasori just pointed towards the door and Sanaa ran from the room. He got up and followed after her, Deidara right behind him. Kathryn got up and trailed behind her men, biting her lip.

Alice waited for them to leave before getting up. Itachi followed her in a single movement and together they left the living room.

"Who do you want to bet cries first?" Hidan asked.

"Tiburon." Kakuzu stated. "He has Alice as a mother, and this entire thing was his idea."

Hidan nodded. "I bet it'll be Sanaa. She fucking cries if that puppet bitch glares at her."

"I bet Tiburon." Kisame stated, turning on the TV with the power button on the set. "Itachi's ready to kill him. Though, that's if Alice decides to physically punish him. She's not much on hitting the kids, even as angry as she is. She's only done it like three times."

"I'm so fucking glad neither of them are my fucking parents." Hidan sighed.

"That makes two of us." Kisame nodded.

Kakuzu grunted. "Make that three."

* * *

><p>Alice closed the door behind her, her eyes lingering on the two boys standing at the foot of her bed. Itachi was glaring at them, clearly irritated.<p>

"Explain." Alice snarled.

Both boys twitched.

Cielo glanced at Alice. "Tiburon and Sanaa wanted to go back to the stronghold and I agreed to go with them."

Alice glared. "There is nothing left to go back to! I've explained this to you kids before, damn it! You would have been walking into a pile of ruins and potentially enemies waiting for us to return!" She smacked both of them in the back of the head, hard enough to get the message across, but not hard enough to leave a mark. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? Do either of you have a clue how scared you made me?"

Cielo looked down. "I'm sorry, Alice. I know it was wrong of us to go, but I couldn't let Tiburon and Sanaa go on their own."

Alice narrowed her eyes at Cielo. "It's good that you know that, Cielo. But that doesn't answer my questions. You three could have been killed or kidnapped."

"But we weren't." Tiburon pointed out.

Alice pointed at him. "I know this was your idea, Tiburon Shisui. You're in more trouble than he is."

Cielo frowned. "I agreed to go though, Alice. I am just as guilty as he is."

Tiburon elbowed Cielo and shook his head.

"That's not the point right now." Alice growled. She ran a hand over her face and sat on the bed. "You kids will be the death of me." She sighed and glared at them. "If you _ever_ do anything like that ever again, I will do more than hit you. In fact, I might just kill you to be done with it."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "You'd never kill us, Mom."

Alice narrowed her eyes. "I brought you into this world, Tiburon. And I can easily take you out of it."

"But you won't." Tiburon stated flatly. He yelped as he was picked up by the back of his shirt. His head snapped around and he paled at seeing Itachi holding him up.

"Continuing speaking to your mother like that Tiburon, and I will show you the meaning of pain." Itachi hissed. "Your little attitude problem is no longer cute. In fact, it is downright disrespectful and irritating. You cannot fathom how much your mother loves you, and you are essentially spitting in her face after you just caused her to have a panic attack."

Tiburon looked down.

"I will deal with it no longer." Itachi stated. "I have sat back and waited, hoping you would quit blatantly ignoring and infuriating your mother because it's 'fun to make her angry'. But this is it. If I hear or see you disobey her one more time, Tiburon, you will be lucky to ever walk again."

**First Person Alice!**

If I wasn't as angry at these brats as I was, I probably would have raped Itachi then and there. Not only was he sexy when he was angry, it also was very sweet of him to back me like that.

He's such a good boy.

"Do you understand me, Tiburon?" Itachi asked, narrowing his eyes at our son.

Tiburon nodded, glancing at Itachi submissively. "Yes, I understand." He bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me." Itachi said dismissively.

Tiburon glanced at me. "Sorry Mom."

I stared at him, my anger going down significantly at his submissive and sincerely sorry mannerisms. "It's alright, Tiburon." I sighed. "Just please, _please_ never do something like that again. You were taken from me once. I couldn't handle it if that happened again."

Tiburon shook his head. "I won't."

Itachi set Tiburon down and Tiburon chanced creeping towards me to hug me. I let him hug me on his own for a moment before returning the gesture. I held him for a second before pulling him away from my person and taking his face into my hands. "Don't think this means you're not in serious shit right now, Tiburon."

He gulped.

"Both of you are grounded." I concluded, looking at Cielo. "There will be no sweets, no going outside even for training, no TV, no games, no playing, and you two will be doing chores."

Cielo bowed his head. "That's more than fair."

Tiburon looked like he wanted to protest, but the look on Itachi's face kept him silent.

"If I catch one of you two breaking one of my rules, you will be isolated." I continued. "This will last until I decide you two have been punished enough. And it will be for _at least_ a week."

"We can't go outside for a week?" Tiburon asked. "Mom, training isn't fun inside!"

"That's the point." I told him seriously.

He sighed. "We just wanted to go home."

"Tiburon, there isn't a home to go back to." I stressed. "We can't go live in Konoha either. I am sorry that we had to move, and I'm sorry you can't see Sasuke and the others as often as you used to, but you are Shinobi of the Akatsuki, not of Konoha. Your allegiance is to this family, this organization, and ultimately Pein. When you get older, you won't be going to Konoha except on missions and when we travel there for diplomatic reasons."

Tiburon made to retort but Itachi cut him off.

"Your mother is right, Tiburon." Itachi stated. "As unfortunate as it is, it is the truth of reality."

"But Sasuke's there. Sasuke's family…" Tiburon muttered.

I sighed. "Tiburon, you aren't the only one who loves and misses Sasuke." I gestured at Itachi. "Sasuke is your father's only little brother. One who he almost died for. Itachi loves Sasuke just as much as he loves me and you boys. He wants to be able to see him probably more than you do, but he knows that can't happen."

"He could make it happen." Tiburon pouted. "Dad does what he wants."

Cielo rolled his eyes. "All Uchiha do. Especially the one married into the clan." He looked at me meaningfully.

I pulled his hood over his head, enticing a small chuckle. "Butthead."

"So, are you still mad at us?" Tiburon asked.

"I'm still livid." I nodded. "But I'm not going to yell at you all night. Now, it's bedtime." I threw my thumb in the direction of the door. "Get going." When Cielo and Tiburon hurried to obey me and closed the door behind them, I looked at Itachi. "Now _you_, fine sir, have earned a night of utter praise and affection because you're the best husband anyone could ask for."

Itachi rolled his eyes but chuckled as he leaned forward to kiss me. "I look forward to it."

**First Person Kathryn!**

Sanaa stood quietly in front of Danna's workbench, her hands behind her back, her head bowed towards the floor and her eyes closed shut tightly. Danna sat directly in front of her on his workbench, his eyes narrowed and his arms crossed. Deidara sat in a similar fashion on Danna's bed while I sat beside Dei, looking between my three favorite people.

"Sanaa." Sasori growled.

Sanaa flinched and I had to bite my tongue to keep from scooping her up to soothe her. It always made me sad to see Danna disciplining Sanaa, but I knew it was necessary. She had to learn.

I could never do it because as soon as she pouted, I'd melt and Deidara was too sweet to yell at her.

"Explain yourself." Danna snapped.

She looked up at him and winced at his glare. She forced back a shaking sob as she opened her mouth. "I-I'm so sorry, S-Sori-Danna!" She wiped at her eyes. "I-I d-didn't want t-to make you mad, yeah! Me and T-Tibby just wanted t-to go home! I-I tried to talk him out of it, b-but I miss Konoha! It rains too much here, y-yeah."

Danna continued to stare at Sanaa. "That's no excuse for running off without asking. You didn't leave a note, you didn't tell anyone, you didn't _ask_ Sanaa. You could have been kidnapped, you could have died, you could have gotten hurt and we might not have been able to find you or help you." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Did you think about that before you left?"

She shook her head. "N-no."

"Exactly." Danna snarled. "You didn't think it over. You were rash and you listened to Tiburon without realizing that he has little to no self-preservation. You acted foolishly." He pointed at her. "That will get you killed, Sanaa."

She shuddered and wiped at her eyes. "I'm s-sorry, Sori-Danna yeah."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Sanaa." Danna stated coldly. "You've been taken from us before, Sanaa. None of us want that to happen to you again. That's why we're so protective over you kids. If someone ever touched you or came at you with ill intentions again, I'd start another world war."

I internally awed at that.

If there was one person who could bring out Danna's human emotions, it was Sanaa. Something about her brought out the best in him.

She was his little girl.

And he was her Sori-Danna.

"There isn't a base to go back to, baby un." Deidara explained. "There were bad ninjas who destroyed it, trying to hurt the Akatsuki so we had to come out here. I know it's far away from Konoha, and I know it rains a lot, but this is home now. We'll still be able to see the others. It won't be as often, but it will make the reunions better yeah."

I smiled at Sanaa. "Deidara's right, Sanaa." I pet her hair. "Besides, the rain's not too bad, and I bet Pein-sama will stop it every now and then if you ask him nicely."

Sanaa nodded. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry Daddy." She looked at Danna. "I'm sorry, Sori-Danna. I won't ever do that again, yeah."

Danna dipped his head. "Good." He poked her stomach. "But you're still in trouble." He glanced at me and Dei for a second before looking at Sanaa. "You're grounded. No TV, no going outside, no playing, and you'll be helping Alice do chores."

She nodded. "How long?"

"At least a week. I haven't decided yet." Danna told her. "If you try to disobey me, there will be no Tiburon or Cielo either. I might even cut you off from the others too."

Sanaa's eyes widened in horror. "I won't disobey you, Sori-Danna! I promise, yeah."

Danna smirked and patted Sanaa's head. "Good girl." He stood. "Bedtime. All three of you."

Smiling to myself as Deidara protested, I kissed Sanaa good night, hugged Danna, and then skipped to the door to my room, waiting for Dei. When he joined me after Danna hit the back of his head and after he kissed Sanaa goodnight, we went to our room, knowing Sanaa would be spending the night with Danna.

It was his way of apologizing for making her cry.

Besides, she never slept in her room unless she passed out in there or Danna was in his workshop and not in his room.

They were attached at the hip like that.

* * *

><p><em>Not as epic as you though, was it?<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Bo is insane.  
><em>

Answer: _My answer to all the questions will be down below. But I have to ask: Do you guys even read my author's notes? I mean half of the questions you guys asked have been answered before. Some of them multiple times in my author's notes._

**QotC: **_Seen any good movies lately?__  
><em>

_Alright, be prepared for lots of answers. Keep in mind that I am answering these questions truthfully. However, I might only tell you enough to count as an answer. :)  
><em>

_Is Cielo's backstory interesting?: Cielo's back story is quite interesting, both as a fanfiction character and in his original story.  
>Favorite Color?: My favorite colors are black and red.<br>Who does Sanaa end up with?: At this point, I honestly don't have a clue. It's all up to whatever I see fits.  
>Who are the people who attacked the Akatsuki?: They are a low grade terrorist group.<br>Why does Tiburon keep acting like a butthead?: I know you weren't asking it for me to answer it, but I am for shits and giggles. He's being a butthead because he's too much like his mother.  
>What's the cruelest thing I've ever done to someone?: That's actually kind of a personal question that I'm not really comfortable with answering. Let's just say I'm going to hell because of it.<br>How do I feel about Sasuke in the new movie?: I feel like I'm going to be laughing my ass off about him. I can't wait.  
>Will Tibby and Sanaa ever get married?: I have no clue guys. Honestly.<br>What website will the movie be posted on when it comes out: Narutoget . com is always the first website to have the movies up and subbed.  
>Have I ever gotten tired of writing the Trilogy?: Yeah. I have actually. If it wasn't for you guys, I would have stopped after the first one.<br>Am I going to show the kids from ages 16+?: No. Not in this story. Maybe I'll make oneshots and shit when I'm super bored for you guys. But otherwise, no. After this story ends, there is no more.  
>How do I think Naruto will end?: With a battle between Sasuke and Naruto. Duh. They have to fight again.<br>Will there be a Cielo/Sanaa/Tibby love triangle later on: Nope. If there is one thing I do know, I know Sanaa will not end up with Cielo. And Tibby will not end up with Cielo either Lol.  
>Will I read and review your stories?: I can't tell you how many times people ask me this. I'm a very picky, very critical and negative person. I do look at your guys' stories when I see you have reviewfavorited/alerted my stories. I check out the ones that catch my attention and I review if I feel like they deserve it. However, I'm not sure if you guys want me to review. Because even if I like the story, I'll pick out the little things and point them out to you. I can't help it. I just do. I know, I'm a bitch. If it means that much to you, I'll try to be nice and supportive but no promises. I am very, very picky.  
>Who did Alice have a threesome with?: She's actually had two threesomes in her life. One of them included Itachi and one of them didn't. I'll leave the rest up to your imagination.<br>Are Alice and Kathryn modeled after people I know/Did it influence who they were paired with?: Alice is an original character of mine. Aspects of her and her personality and her appearance are modeled after me, but there are significant differences to make her more compatible with her original story. Itachi is my favorite character. Even if I had a guy main character and decided to pair him up with someone, Itachi would be the pair. Kathryn is modeled after my best friend but they really are less similar than you'd think. And my Kathryn actually doesn't like Deidara that much at all.  
>Has Alice ever met Nagato in person?: Yes. Multiple times.<br>Is Cielo going to end up betraying them?: Cielo's not much of the betraying type.  
>What would I do if we hung out here in Ohio?: I'd buy you lunch and we'd hang out. Duh. What else would we do?<br>_

_That's all for now, lovelies. Feel free to message me if you have any more questions or post them in a review or whatever. I don't care.  
><em>

_Bye.  
><em>


	53. Chapter 53

_Chapter 53._

_I don't own Naruto._

_Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

One of the things that suck about being me, is that someone always needs me. Sure, I like taking care of my loved ones and I honestly don't mind being depended on, but sometimes, I'd like to have some time to myself.

But, because I'm me, that's almost impossible.

Like now, for example.

I was lying on the couch, eyes closed, seconds away from napping, when I hear footsteps approaching the living room. I knew from how quiet and fast they were that it was one of the kids, but I was much too comfortable to bother opening my eyes.

That is, until I heard a sniffle.

My eyes snapped open and I was instantly in Mommy-Mode. I looked towards the door and cocked my head to the side when I saw Sanaa shuffling into the room, her head bowed and a pained expression on her face.

I sat up. "Sanaa?"

She sniffled. "Icy."

I extended my arms towards her. "Come here sweetheart. What's wrong?"

She walked over to me and allowed me to pull her into my lap. I hugged her tightly and stroked her hair, allowing her to rest her head on my shoulder. I rested my cheek on her hair and rubbed her arm.

"What's wrong, Sanaa?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Sanaa, it's okay. You can tell me." I soothed.

She glanced at me. "My hands hurt."

I raised my eyebrow. "Your hands hurt?"

She nodded. "Really bad."

"Can I see?" I asked.

She gingerly opened one of her hands and held it up for me to see. I made to grab her wrist to keep her hand from shaking, but she jerked it away from me. "Don't touch it."

"I won't honey. You're shaking it. I was just going to hold your arm still." I explained. I grabbed her wrist and held it still, looking closely at her hand.

Her palms were bleeding very, very slightly and the skin was cracking around the crevice where her hand-mouth would be. I frowned. "Sanaa, where's your daddy?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. You and Tachi are the only grownups here."

"Did you do anything to your hands?" I asked.

"It might have been from when I fell while training earlier…" Sanaa stated. "But they've been hurting since last night."

I sighed and dug into my pocket. I fished out my cell phone and dialed a number before holding it up to my ear. Two rings later, my call was answered.

"_What is it, Alice?_" Sasori asked.

"Hey Sasori, I think Sanaa's hand mouths are coming in." I stated. "I'm not sure though. She did scrape her hands while training with Tiburon and Cielo earlier."

"_Where is she?_" Sasori asked, a strange tone jumping in his voice.

"On my lap." I told him. "They look painful." I kissed Sanaa's head. "Where are you?"

"_Coming home. Deidara, Kathryn, and I will be there within ten minutes._" Sasori informed me.

I nodded. "Good. Deidara probably knows more about this than anyone else."

"_Indeed._" Sasori agreed.

"I'll see you in a few." I told him. He returned my farewell and I ended the call. I tossed my phone on the coffee table before returning my attention to Sanaa. I stroked her hair. "Sanaa, have you noticed anything else changing about your body?"

Sanaa looked at me. "I'm taller than Tibby. And I'm the same height as Cielo." She looked down at her hands. "And my chest hurts every now and then. Mommy says I'm getting boobs…"

I rolled my eyes. "It's about time you started growing into a young woman. You'll be noticing a lot of changes about your body soon. But don't worry about any of it because it's natural. However, if you get scared or something, or just want some answers, your mother and I can answer all of your questions and Sasori will be happy to check on you."

Sanaa nodded. "Okay." She looked at me. "How come Tibby and Cielo aren't changing?"

"Girls mature faster and earlier than boys do." I informed her. "Because we're awesome."

She giggled. "Girls rule."

"And boys drool." I finished with a smirk.

She leaned into me. "I love you, Icy."

I smiled. "I love you too, Sanaa. Very much so."

"What are you two doing?" A voice asked a few minutes later.

"Hi Tachi." Sanaa greeted.

Itachi rumpled Sanaa's hair before taking a seat beside me. He kissed my cheek and met Sanaa's gaze. "Hello Sanaa."

"Sanaa's hands are hurting her." I informed him.

Itachi frowned and he took Sanaa from me. He gently took Sanaa's wrists into his hands and looked at her sore hands. He ran his fingers along the back of her hands before glancing at me. "Her Kekkei Genkai should be coming in soon." He ran his fingers over the back of her hand again. "I can sense the chakra flow and it's beginning to mass where the mouth will form."

Sanaa stared at her hands before looking up at Itachi. "How come it hurts, Tachi?"

"The pain will not last, Sanaa." Itachi assured her. "Just like Tiburon's eyes hurt him when he first developed his Sharingan, your hands will be sore for a little while. It is only natural. It is a vital change to your body's makeup."

Sanaa pouted. "Will they bleed?"

"Probably just at first." Itachi soothed. "However, with your medical Ninjutsu and Sasori's medical skills, the blood will be nothing more than a minor annoyance. It won't be a problem, Sanaa."

"Promise?" She asked.

Itachi poked Sanaa's nose. "I promise." He stroked her hair. "And if it is a problem, the pain will only last for a little while."

"Sanaa, un."

The three of us looked towards the door to see Deidara walking into the living room, a frown on his face. He took Sanaa from Itachi and sat down with her on the other couch. He took her hands into his hand looked at them closely.

"Yeah, her hand mouths are coming in, un." Deidara confirmed. "Mine did the same thing, yeah."

Sanaa looked at Deidara as his hand licked her. "Does it hurt, Daddy?"

"Only for a little bit." Deidara admitted. "Just when the teeth come in." He kissed her forehead. "But it'll be okay baby yeah."

Sanaa shivered. "I'm scared, Daddy."

"Don't be scared." Deidara soothed, hugging her. "Danna will make sure you're not in too much pain." He glanced at me. "And Alice will make you all of your favorites yeah."

Kathryn smiled and kissed Sanaa. "It's a sign that you're growing up, Sanaa. Pretty soon you'll be able to make pretty birds just like your Daddy. And, you can bite Tibby when he's being mean to you."

Sanaa giggled and I rolled my eyes.

Sasori glanced at Deidara as Kathryn distracted Sanaa with goofy things she could do with her hands. "How long, Brat?"

"I'd say within the next four days un." Deidara explained. "This stage starts, then the mouths move in a few days later within a few hours. It's during that time that when the real pain comes yeah."

Sasori ran a hand through his hair. "This will be fun."

"At least she doesn't have the mouth on her chest." I mused.

Deidara nodded. "I've never felt a worse pain before yeah."

Itachi glanced at Deidara. "What should we look for?"

"Or are they just going to come in while she's sleeping?" Sasori questioned.

"There's nothing to look for." Deidara sighed. "Trust me Danna; we'll know when they start coming in un."

And know we fucking did.

I was walking down the hallway, humming to myself as I headed back towards my bedroom from Kathryn's room, having just dropped off their now clean sheets, pillow cases, and blankets like I do every week. It was nighttime. The kids were asleep, and us adults were the only ones awake still.

At least, until a scream ripped from Sasori's room.

My head snapped around and I hurried back down the hallway. I threw open Sasori's door. Sasori was using his chakra strings to hold Sanaa down. Deidara had rushed into the room and was holding Sanaa's face between his hands, whispering soothing words to her and stroking her cheek. Kathryn stood by Sasori, looking like she wanted to cry with Sanaa.

"Fuck." I growled. "Sasori, I'll help hold her down, try and ease some of her pain."

Sasori released Sanaa when I pinned her to the bed to keep her from trashing around and potentially running off.

"D-Daddy!" She whimpered. "It hurts yeah!"

"Shh, shh." Deidara whispered. "I know baby. I know it hurts. But it will be over soon un." He kissed her forehead. "Just focus on me and don't think about the pain. Look at me and listen to me, okay yeah?"

Sanaa shook her head, tears pouring from her eyes. "I don't want hand-mouths no more yeah!" She screamed again when Sasori grabbed her hand. "No Sori-D-Danna! D-Don't touch it!"

"The fact that her pain woke her up is not helping the matter." Sasori growled. He looked at Sanaa. "It's okay, Sanaa. I'm going to help make the pain go away."

I glanced at Sasori and my eyes narrowed at the blood pretty much pouring from Sanaa's hands. I maneuvered myself so Sanaa couldn't see her hands even if she tried to and I glanced at Kathryn. "Want to help Deidara distract her?"

Kathryn tore her gaze away from Sasori to look at me. She opened her mouth to comment but was cut off.

"Kathryn." Sasori grunted. "Go and get Itachi. Make it quick. I'd send Alice so you could stay with Sanaa, but Alice is stronger than you and will be able to hold Sanaa down to keep her from hurting herself."

Kathryn nodded. "O-Okay Danna."

"Sanaa will be fine, Kathryn." Sasori assured her. "I promise. I would never let anything happen to her."

"I know." She said quietly. She hurried from the room.

Sasori winced when Sanaa screamed again. "I'm sorry, Sanaa."

She sobbed. "Daddy, make it stop, yeah!"

"Danna's working on it, baby." Deidara told her. "It won't last for much longer, Sanaa. We're making it hurry un." He kissed Sanaa's forehead. "You're being such a big girl yeah. I know it hurts un."

"I don't want my hands no more." Sanaa gasped between shuddering breaths and choked up sobs.

"You're a ninja, Sanaa. You need your hands." Sasori told her.

Deidara brushed Sanaa's tears away. "It's almost over, Sanaa." He glanced back at Sasori. "Are the teeth showing yet, un?"

Sasori shook his head. "Not really, no. It hurts her too much when I touch the gums so to speak."

"Shit." Deidara growled. "That's the worst part."

Sasori glanced at the door when Kathryn called his name and he nodded at seeing Itachi. "Itachi, I know this is strange to ask, but I need you to put Sanaa under a Genjutsu. This is too much pain for her to handle."

Itachi stared at Sasori. "You mean she's in too much pain for you to handle, Sasori." He sighed. "This will not kill her, but I can see her condition is too much for the three of you. However, unless Deidara and Kathryn ask me, I will not put her in a Genjutsu."

Kathryn looked at Itachi. "I just don't want her to cry anymore."

Itachi looked at Deidara. "He has the final decision."

"Brat." Sasori grunted.

Deidara looked away from Sanaa. "What, un?"

"I asked Itachi to come here to put Sanaa in a Genjutsu to help her block out the pain." Sasori explained. "He won't do it unless you agree to it though."

Itachi looked at Deidara when the blond frowned. "I would never hurt, Sanaa, Deidara. You know that."

Deidara frowned. "But normal Genjutsu won't be enough hmm."

"I am a master of Genjutsu, Deidara." Itachi explained. "I will be able to soothe her." He held up his hand when Deidara glared. "I would never use Tsukuyomi on a child now, especially not Sanaa."

Deidara did not look like he approved.

"Dei, Itachi won't hurt Sanaa." I soothed. "You can trust him. This is to help your baby. Look at her, Deidara."

Deidara looked at Sanaa for a long moment before looking at Itachi. "Fine un."

Itachi grabbed my shoulder and I moved over for him to sit in front of me. Itachi looked at Deidara. "If you would like, I can bring you into the Genjutsu as well."

Deidara closed his left eye. "Just do it, un."

Itachi nodded and his Sharingan span. "Sasori, do what you can. I do not want to keep them in here for any longer than ten minutes."

Sasori nodded. "I will."

A scream ripped from Sanaa just before she essentially went limp.

I sat beside Sanaa, holding Kathryn's hand and occupying her when Sasori got out a syringe of some really low level pain killers for Sanaa. I distracted her while he injected Sanaa with it and helped Sasori with the bleeding when he was finished.

"Her teeth are beginning to come out." Sasori stated. He pushed the tiny tongue sticking out of Sanaa's hand out of his way and he prodded the puffy and tender gums. "At the rate they're growing, they should be done within ten minutes."

"How long has it been since Itachi took them into a Genjutsu?" I asked, looking at Itachi.

"Five minutes." Sasori said quietly. "She'll just have to deal with the pain. It should be more bearable because of the painkillers I gave her."

Kathryn raised her eyebrow. "You gave her painkillers?"

"When you went to get Itachi." Sasori lied.

"Oh." Kathryn nodded. She returned her attention to Sanaa. "She'll flip out if she sees all this blood."

I waved off her concern. "When she goes to sleep after all this is done, I'll change the sheets and clean these."

"Hopefully Deidara's right that the pain only lasts for a little while..." Sasori mused. "I don't want to listen to Sanaa crying."

"He knows more about hand mouths than anyone else." I stated. "So he probably is right."

We sat there quietly for a while, Sasori keeping up a steady flow of medical chakra into Sanaa's hands to lessen the damage and blood. Kathryn was carding her fingers through Deidara and Sanaa's hair while I sat behind Itachi, my arm wrapped around his waist and my chin resting on his shoulder.

We were content with waiting until we heard a whimper.

My eyes snapped open and I glanced at Sanaa to see her start wiggling. She tried moving her hands but found herself unable to when I pinned one of her arms down and Kathryn held down the other. Sasori tightened his grip on her wrists, eyes locked on Sanaa's face.

Sanaa opened her eyes and looked at her hands, whimpering when the pain they were causing her spiked. "Hurts, Sori-Danna."

Sasori smiled slightly at Sanaa's tired slurring. The painkillers were starting to make her tired. "I know, Brat. It will be over soon though. You're almost done."

She pouted. "I wanna be done now. I'm sleepy yeah."

"I know." He soothed. "It'll be alright."

Itachi shifted and turned his head slightly to glance at me out of the corner of his eye. My arm around his waist was stroked gently by one of his hands while his other came up to caress my cheek. "Alice."

"Welcome back babe." I smiled. "How'd it go?"

"We played hide and seek." Itachi stated. "Sanaa won."

I laughed lightly and kissed his cheek. "You're sweet."

He pressed his head against mine. "Hn." He glanced at Deidara. "Satisfied?"

Deidara looked away from Kathryn who he had been kissing and frowned at Itachi. "Whatever, un." He looked back to Sanaa who was yawning sleepily. "Thanks yeah."

"You're welcome, Deidara." Itachi nodded. He glanced at Sasori. "How is it going?"

Sasori looked at Itachi. "She will be done soon."

Deidara looked at Sanaa's hands from his spot. "This hand is done, un." He informed us, touching Sanaa's right hand gently. He then poked her left hand. "This one is almost done. The molars are coming in a little bit slower, yeah."

We all glanced at Sanaa when she whimpered. Sasori was healing her tender gums for her and getting rid of the blood. His actions were obviously bothering her because she was throwing a little bit of a tantrum. She pulled her right hand out of Sasori's grip when he allowed her and she looked at it.

Her tongue rolled out of the mouth and her hand smiled at her. She smiled. "It's cute!"

I laughed. "_You're cute,_ Sanaa."

She smiled at me before her smile faded and she scrunched up her face in discomfort. A few silent tears fell when she clenched her eyes shut and she clenched her now healed hand, trying to blot out the pain. A moment or two later, however, that relaxed.

Sasori released Sanaa's left hand and she inspected it tiredly. That hand smiled at her and she giggled tiredly before yawning. Lowering her hands from her face, she reached for Kathryn. "I'm sleepy Mommy."

Kathryn smiled and scooped Sanaa up. "So go to sleep baby. Who do you want to stay with? Me and your Daddy or Danna?"

Sanaa rested her head on Kathryn's shoulder. "All of you."

Sasori rolled his eyes at Sanaa's answer. "Give her to me, both of you get ready for bed and bring your blankets and pillows in here."

Kathryn giggled at Sasori's willingness to adhere to Sanaa's request. "You're so sweet, Danna." She kissed Sanaa's cheek. "Are you your Danna's girl, Sanaa?"

Sanaa nodded and reached for Sasori. "My Sori-Danna."

Sasori took her and shooed Kathryn and Deidara into their room. He thanked Itachi and I quietly while he swayed slightly with Sanaa in his arms. Itachi and I bade him and Sanaa goodnight and said our goodnights to Deidara and Kathryn when they returned.

After taking the bloodied sheets off the bed and grabbing a few from a linen closet, Itachi and I left Sasori, Sanaa, Dei, and Kathryn to get settled in for the night.

We walked back our room together and got in bed after I washed the blood off of me in a really quick shower. We cuddled and soon, worn out because of the epidemic of hand mouths, we fell asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah...<em>

_**Fun Fact: **There are two golf balls sitting on the moon.  
><em>

Answer: _The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spiderman, Magic Mike... yeah._

**QotC:** _Favorite thing about Anime in general? Is it the life lessons? The smexy male characters? The humor? The art? The stories? What?_

_When I asked last chapter if you guys read my author's notes, I didn't mean you had to lol. Half the time I don't read other author's notes either. The story content is everyone's main focus and I get that. In fact, I expect that. However, some of the questions you guys asked me in reviews and messages I've answered multiple times. To be truthfully honest, I only read the author's notes of about three stories and that's pretty much it.  
><em>

_I would like to apologize for the longer wait. You guys got to 20 reviews a few days ago and I should have updated then. I didn't though because I literally have done nothing more than just sit here and stare at my ceiling. I've fallen into another severe state of depression and I want nothing to do with anything. This happens fairly frequently, but some stages of my depression are worse than others. :/ So I'm sorry about the wait.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	54. Chapter 54

_Meep. I got a new laptop today, but I still have to transfer over my story files._

_:/  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

_Enjoy my lovelies.  
><em>

* * *

><p>I sighed boredly as I lounged in the living room with a few of the others. Cielo was in his room, packing and tending to his ninja weapons because he, Sanaa, and Tiburon would be leaving soon to meet up with Sasuke to go on a mission for Pein.<p>

I wasn't at all happy about it, but what say did I have?

That's right. None.

Sanaa was laying on one of the other couches, using Hidan as a pillow while her legs rested in Sasori's lap. Said Jashinist was petting her hair while Sasori busied himself with reading a jutsu scroll. If I remembered correctly Sable and Ash were either playing or napping together either in the training grounds, Cielo's room, my room, or the kitchen.

Tiburon was pretty much napping on top of Kisame's back. Kisame was sleeping, his quiet snoring resonating from his massive person. Itachi was petting my hair as I rested my head on his lap and Kakuzu dealt with my feet on his lap like a pro. Kathryn and Deidara were cuddling in the recliner.

"Sigh again, and I'll kill you."

I glared at Sasori. "Fuck you."

"An excellent comeback, Alice." Sasori said with an eye roll.

"I could have just said 'your face'. That's insulting enough." I countered. "If I did that though, you wouldn't be able to come back with anything better though."

He looked at me. "I'm sure I could think of something."

"You thinking is preposterous enough." I scoffed.

"I'm impressed you can pronounce preposterous." Sasori retorted smoothly.

Kakuzu sighed. "Here they go."

"I'm impressed you know what impressed means." I stated.

"People use it often when they talk about me." Sasori said smugly.

"Yeah, because they're _impressed_ that a redheaded moronic bitch like you is able to breathe and walk at the same time without choking on his own spit or hurting himself." I spat.

Sasori smirked. "That was a good one."

I smiled. "I know." I adjusted my position on the couch before swearing loudly.

Everybody jumped at my outburst and Tiburon and Kisame bolted awake.

"Alice?" Itachi asked, looking down at me with concern. "What happened?"

"Back." I hissed. "Need drugs… a-sap."

"I will be back in a second." Itachi promised. He eased out from beneath me and shot to our room. When he returned he signaled Deidara to distract Kathryn while he prepared my injection and shot me up with it. He put my things away and resumed his position as being my pillow.

I sighed after a time when the drugs began to kick and closed my eyes. "Much better."

"Are you alright?" Sasori asked.

"I think so." I mused. Everything returned to normal and people resumed their business. I had been about to fall into nap mode, when suddenly I noticed something was off. I was far too amused by the quiet. I had to fight to keep myself from giggling.

I frowned for a minute before looking at Itachi. "Just how much of my serum did you give me?"

"The full syringe." He stated. "Was I not supposed to?"

"Well, I'll either die from drug overdose, or we'll all relive Sasori's worst nightmare." I stated. I laughed. "I personally hope Sasori has to suffer."

Kathryn clapped excitedly while Sasori groaned. "Yay! Giggly Alice!"

I shivered. "Cold chill." A second later, I started giggling.

Sasori face-palmed. "Fuck my life."

**Third Person!**

Kathryn bounced with anticipation of Dei's lap as Alice's giggling turned into laughter. "I'm so excited."

Sasori shot the blonde a look. "Don't encourage her."

Alice stopped laughing suddenly and frowned at the ceiling. "Hey." When she got no response she repeated herself. "Hey!"

"What, bitch?" Hidan asked.

She cocked her head to the side. "Why does everything seem so… _big_?"

"What?" Kakuzu asked.

Alice tilted her head towards Kakuzu and she grinned at him. "Why hello there. What's cookin', Good-lookin'?"

Kakuzu gave her a deadpan stare. Deidara and Kathryn snorted with laughter. Tiburon and Sanaa both looked amused but confused. Kisame was fighting laughter, Itachi looked bored, and Sasori looked like he wanted to break something.

"Come here often?" She asked.

He nodded slowly.

Her grin widened. "Could you…. _Show me around_?"

"Why did you emphasize that part?" Sasori demanded.

"Dunno." She admitted. She prodded Kakuzu with her toes. "You're pretty."

He looked disturbed.

"Your caramel colored skin is lovely and your hair is gorgeous." Alice confessed. "I'm not entirely sure why you haven't been good and raped yet."

"That might have to do with the fact that he's a fucking bastard and covered in stitches." Hidan snapped.

Alice glared at Hidan. "He's sensitive, leave him alone. His stitches are fucking beautiful. And he isn't a bastard. Kakuzu has is a beautiful sole who only cares for others."

Kakuzu mouthed sensitive with utter confusion.

"If by others, you mean money, then yes." Kisame nodded.

Alice sat up suddenly. She paused for a second and grabbed her head. "Head rush." A second later though, she continued pushing herself into a sit up position. She reached out and grabbed Kakuzu. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rubbed her face against his, purring. "So pretty."

Kakuzu patted her head uncertainly. "Thank you?"

She beamed at him. "You're welcome!"

"Mom, what the hell are you on?" Tibby asked.

Alice's head slowly turned to face Tiburon and she gave him a crazed look. "Shh… I'm listening to the heartbeats. It's like a love song."

"Someone knock her out." Sasori ordered.

"No, (un)!" Deidara and Kathryn protested.

Alice, having found something else to target, kissed Kakuzu's cheek and crept along the couch over to Itachi. She stopped literally a center from his face, a creepy smile on hers. "Why hello there, weasel butt."

Itachi raised his eyebrow while Deidara buried his face into Kathryn's shoulder to smother his laughter. Itachi recovered after a moment and stroked Alice's cheek. "Hi."

She smiled at his attention and caressed his face with a little too much enthusiasm and both of her hands. "You're cute."

"Thank you." He stated.

"Like _really_ cute." Alice stressed. "Like fucking cuter than puppies playing together."

Kathryn tapped her chin. "I dunno… puppies are pretty adorable."

Alice glared at her. "Hush." He grabbed Itachi's face and turned it forcefully so he was facing Kathryn. "Do you not see this perfection? Don't speak as if he isn't the most beautiful thing on the planet." She paused and reached behind her to pet Kakuzu. "You're still stunning, Kakuzu."

Kakuzu face-palmed while Sasori pulled at his hair.

Alice turned her face back to Itachi and she gave him a devilish grin. "We should make more babies."

"We already have two." Itachi pointed out. "Cielo and Tiburon."

"I want a _girl_." Alice stressed. "So I can raise her to make the lives of men hell."

Sasori glared at Alice. "You're already doing that."

Alice winked at him. "Don't worry. I'm making my way over to you, cutie."

He blanched.

"Okay, what happened to Mom?" Tibby demanded.

Alice looked at him like she had just noticed him and she climbed across the couches over to him without touching the floor. She snatched him off the couch and pulled him into her lap. "My baby. My handsome little shark baby." She nuzzled his face and pet him affectionately.

Tibby shivered. "This is weird. Get her off of me and fix her."

"I second Tiburon's notion." Sasori announced.

Sanaa giggled. "I love Icy like this! She's so funny!"

"I know!" Kathryn chirped.

"I agree, yeah." Deidara chuckled. "Uh oh. She's found Kisame un."

Sure enough Alice was basically wrapped around Kisame, telling him how much she loved him and how cute he was and essentially making Kisame feel like the most loved person in the world.

Not that he didn't deserve it.

Kisame is a fucking sweetheart.

"Who drugged Alice?"

They all looked around to see Cielo had joined them and he looked deeply disturbed by Alice's behavior. She was now nomming on Kisame's nose affectionately, claiming that was how sharks shared affection.

Kisame didn't have the heart to tell her she was an idiot.

Alice heard Cielo's voice and she snapped her head around to stare at him. "Baby."

Cielo took a cautious step back.

Alice leapt over the couch and lunged at Cielo before hugging him. "Mine."

"Yours." Cielo acceded, trying to keep from being maimed.

She seemed to accept his statement because she didn't attack him. She just hugged him and pet him like he was a cute little animal.

"Alice, leave the kid alone." Sasori sighed when Cielo began to look around for help.

Alice hissed at him and pulled Cielo away from Sasori. "My Cielo! Keep your hands off!"

Cielo whimpered.

Itachi sighed. "Alice, will you share Cielo with me?"

Alice looked at him. "Of course I will, my love!" She grabbed Cielo and dragged him over to Itachi. She pushed Cielo in his lap. "There you go."

"Thank you." Itachi said calmly. He waited for her to round on Kathryn before letting Cielo up.

Kathryn smiled as Alice crept over to her. She stopped inches from Kathryn before pressing her forehead to Kathryn's and staring at her with literally three centimeters between their eyes. Alice's face slowly broke out into a grin to match Kathryn's before she licked the side of Kathryn's face.

Kathryn laughed. "Hi Alice."

She pulled Kathryn off of Deidara before sitting on the couch and holding her closely. "My Kitty."

"My Momma." Kathryn replied, hugging her back.

Alice seemed content.

"I love giggly Alice." Kathryn announced.

They hugged for a moment before Alice made a noise of disgust and pushed Kathryn off. "Too much love. Get off!"

Kathryn laughed and got off, watching her yank Deidara's hair from where she sat. Deidara glared at her and stuck his tongue out at her. She smiled at his glare and wiggled her eyebrows. "So, how's Kat in the sack?"

Hidan spit out his drink while Kisame started laughing. Itachi face-palmed and Sasori sighed dramatically.

Deidara hesitated. "Fantastic?"

"That must be because she's so flexible." Alice nodded. "I bet Itachi's better." She looked at Itachi and sighed dreamily. "Those muscles…"

Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose while Tiburon and Cielo gagged.

"I didn't need to know, yeah." Deidara said with distaste.

"Hey man, you asked." Alice said dismissively.

Deidara looked confused.

Alice decided she had enough of Deidara so she wiggled her fingers in farewell and slunk across the living room to Sanaa. She pounced on Sanaa and hugged her. "Mine too." She glared at Sasori. "Not yours."

Sasori tried his best to ignore her.

Sanaa hugged Alice back and they spent a moment showering each other with compliments before Alice noticed the look Hidan was giving her.

Alice pushed Sanaa away before climbing in Hidan's lap. She pet his cheek for a minute before smirking at him. "You're pretty too."

Hidan grinned at her. "S'right, bitch."

She covered his mouth. "Don't speak. Your annoying voice is going to ruin your beauty."

Kakuzu laughed while Hidan glared.

Alice grabbed Hidan's head and pulled it around with her so she could look at Itachi. "What do you think, babe? Think he'd spice up the bedroom?"

Itachi just put his head on the back of the couch and prayed that Alice recover from her kookiness soon.

"What?" She whined. "Kisame did."

All of occupants of the room looked at Kisame. He just shook his head. "I have no idea what's she's talking about."

She winked at him and gave him a thumbs up. "I get it! I'll keep it on the DL, Kisa."

Kisame just grinned and shook his head.

Alice slowly turned her head to face Sasori. "Your turn Loofa~!"

Sasori paled.

Alice crawled over to him along the couch and hugged him. "Ya know what? You're my favorite puppet of them all." She pet his head. "Seriously. My favorite."

Sasori was fighting so hard not to kill her.

"Did you know that sharks have two penises?" Alice asked him. She winked at Kisame. "And people wonder why I love Kisame so much…"

Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa all covered their ears.

"Alice… get off of me." Sasori pleaded. "I can't take the stupidity."

"You shouldn't insult yourself like that, Sasori." Alice stated, slurring his name. She froze and looked at the door. "I need Leaders…" She held out her arms. "Someone take me to Pein! Now!"

"Itachi, please… sober up your wife." Kakuzu sighed. "I've had enough."

Alice cocked her head to the side when Itachi walked over to her and took her hands in his. "What are you doing, Itachi?"

"We're going somewhere other than here." Itachi told her. He picked her up bridal style.

Alice allowed him to carry her before something caught her attention. "Wait! We need Hidan if we're going to clean!" She waved at Hidan. "Come on, Hidan! I can tape your mouth shut, it's okay."

"Alice." Itachi scolded.

"Okay, fine." She huffed. "Kakuzu, Kisame, let's go. I need muscles."

"Itachi!" Sasori groaned. "Get her out of here!"

Itachi sighed and carried a complaining Alice out of the living room.

Kathryn smiled when she was gone. "That never gets old."

**First Person Alice!**

The next day, after apologizing to everyone about seriously creeping them all out, I made a huge breakfast as a second apology.

I looked at Kakuzu. "You know, I'm sorry for being so creepy, but I meant every word I said."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "So you do think I'm a sensitive, beautiful soul who only cares for others?"

I blinked. "I said that?"

"Yep." Kakuzu nodded.

"Itachi didn't tell me about that part…" I mused… "Well, I do think you're beautiful and you're nice when you want to be… So I guess I mean part of that…"

Kakuzu nodded. "Good to know you're not that insane."

I smiled. "Love you too, buddy."

I dished out my third round apologies before spending some time pissing Sasori off. When I was finished messing with him and busied myself with cleaning the kitchen up. I had just finished when Itachi appeared behind me and kissed the base of my neck, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Hi." I greeted, looking back at him. "What brings you here?"

He nuzzled my cheek. "Pein is sending Kisame and I on a mission."

I frowned. "How long?"

"At least three days." He confessed. "We leave just before nightfall."

I ran my hand through my hair. "Alright." I kissed his lips lightly. "Promise me you'll be careful."

"I always am." Itachi stated. He kissed me. "I promise I will be." He stroked my cheek. "Will you be alright? The boys will be gone too. They left this morning, but they should be home in a few days…"

I shrugged. "I'll manage."

Itachi rubbed his nose against mine. "I'm sorry."

I hugged him. "Just hurry."

He nodded. "I will."

The time for Itachi's departure came all too soon and I hated watching him leave because I now had no one to assure me my sons were coming home, and I had no one to fill the gap made when Itachi was gone.

I felt… empty.

When Tibby and Cielo were there and Itachi was gone, I could rely on them to hold me together. When Tibby and Cielo were gone, Itachi was always there to ease my nerves and promise me Tiburon and Cielo were going to come home. And if, by chance, Itachi was gone without Kisame, Kisame was always there too. Without them… I was alone.

**First Person Kathryn!**

"Why does it always look so depressing here when that bastard Uchiha leaves?" Hidan asked, elbowing me.

I glanced at him. "Because he leaves Alice behind and Alice can't function without him being here with her."  
>"The boys are gone too." Danna pointed out, frowning at Alice who was staring out the door. "This will be… difficult."<p>

"Fuck. I forgot the kids were gone." Hidan swore. "This hasn't happened before, has it?"

"No." Danna said, shaking his head. "I can guarantee you it will not happen again if Itachi does not like the state of his wife when he returns."

Alice turned and glanced at us. "You guys know I can hear you, right?"

We all paled a little.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going… to do something."

"Ice Bitch, make me food." Hidan ordered.

Alice glanced at him. "Eat leftovers." She patted her leg and Ash and Sable hurried after her.

I pouted. "We need to distract her."

"How, un?" Dei asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know." I hurried after Alice and grabbed her hand. "No Momma. You're not secluding yourself right now. Come on. Spend time with us and keep your mind off the others."

Alice ran a hand through her hair. "Fine." She allowed me to drag her to the kitchen and she sat at the table when I ordered her to.

"Will you help me make a cake?" I asked.

She stared at the table. "You, Deidara, and Hidan are the only ones left in the base that like cake. Konan doesn't like the texture and Kakuzu only really eats ice cream and cookies. Pein only likes sweets if they're completely drenched in chocolate."

"Okay, then we'll make cookies." I announced. "Chocolate cookies."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

I pouted. "Momma… Try?"

"Sweets wasn't the best idea." She pointed out.

I winced, remembering that Itachi and Tiburon were the biggest sweet fanatics of them all. "Yeah… So…"

"Make cookies." She stated. "I'll help. I just don't feel like moving so bring me the shit."

"No." I stated. "You need to get up. And smile."

She stared at me. "Kathryn."

"Momma." I said firmly, narrowing my eyes at her and putting my hands on my hips. "Up."

She sighed and dragged herself up from the table to stand beside me at the counter. Robotically, she began making the batter for the cookies. I helped her, trying to memorize how she moved and what she did because Alice made the best cookies ever.

All too soon, we had made cookie dough and were currently putting pieces of the dough onto the pan to put in the oven.

Just as we finished up one tray, Hidan walked in. He scooped up some cookie dough with his finger before eating it. He nodded, pleased with the taste, before patting our heads. "Good work, bitches."

Alice feigned enthusiasm poorly while I beamed at him.

I skipped over to the table and sat down, preparing to wait for the cookies. Alice copied me and sat down across from me, her head instantly falling onto her hand. Hidan sat in his usual seat after getting himself something to drink and he frowned at Alice.

She remained oblivious to his glare as she traced patterns on the table.

I sighed and Hidan and I exchanged a look.

Alice wasn't functional without her husband, kids, and shark.

I pulled out my phone and opened up a text message. "You guys need to hurry."

A few moments later, I was answered.

_What makes you say that? It's Kisame, by the way._

"Alice is pretty much dying right now."

_What is she doing?_

"She's literally just sitting here and rotting into the table. It's kind of depressing and scary."

_Itachi said not to let her sleep alone. She always has night terrors when the boys are gone and since we're gone, she's bound to pretty much snap._

"How are we supposed to keep her from sleeping alone? She doesn't do sleepovers anymore."

_Well, I suggest Hidan keeping her company, but don't tell Itachi. He just said to make sure she doesn't sleep alone. He doesn't care how you do it._

I showed Hidan the messages and he nodded, glancing at me. I sent back a quick "K" before hopping over to the oven when it beeped.

"Done, Momma." I chimed.

She didn't respond.

Hidan slammed his hand on the table. "Ice!"

Alice jumped and looked around. "What?"

He glared. "You're fucking pathetic."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Excuse me for missing my husband and worrying over the wellbeing of my sons."

"No, I won't." He snapped. "Tibby and Cielo are fucking fine, bitch and you've been separated from Itachi for much longer than three fucking days before. Get over it."

"Do you want to die?" She asked. "Because I might just kill you."

"Bring it, you whiny bitch." Hidan challenged.

Alice got to her feet and grabbed the knife off the counter. "Hold still."

Hidan got to his feet and took off out of the room. Alice gave chase.

"Hey! No running with knives!" I yelled.

"What's going on?" Danna asked as he entered the room.

"Hidan pissed Alice off to distract her. She's chasing after him with a knife." I explained.

Sasori sighed. "I am not responsible for any injuries or any damages." He looked at Kakuzu as he entered the room. "The money to pay for repairs is coming out of your partner's ass, not mine."

Kakuzu shrugged and stole a cookie. "Fair enough." He patted my head. "Good cookies, kid."

"Momma helped me make them." I informed him.

"I can tell." He grunted.

We managed to occupy Alice for the rest of the night, and Hidan stayed with her. According to him, she had night terrors but they were small ones that went away when he held her and talked to her.

Day one went down with little difficulty.

Day two, however, was worse.

Alice did pretty much nothing other than sit on the couch with Sable and Ash and mope. We tried to get her to do stuff, but she would barely move enough to spare us glances, let alone get up. According to Hidan, she didn't sleep at all that night. Instead, she stayed up all night reading.

When day three finally came around, Alice didn't even get out of bed until the kids came home. When they did, Alice didn't let Tibby or Cielo out of her sight and Tibby was less willing to leave her alone. He stayed at her side the entire time. Her panicky movements had stopped now that she was able to stop worrying about Tibby and Cielo and her night terrors didn't come, but Tibby and Cielo had to stay with her because otherwise she couldn't sleep.

Four days after Itachi and Kisame left, they came back.

Itachi walked into the living room where most of us, besides Alice, Tibby, and Cielo, were hanging out. He cocked his head to the side. "Where's Alice?"

"Bedroom." Hidan grunted.

I glanced at him. "She's not doing too good, Itachi."

Itachi frowned and left the room immediately.

**Third Person!**

Itachi traveled to his bedroom where he saw Alice lying on the mattress with Tiburon and Cielo on either side of her. Tiburon was hugging her tightly while Cielo played with her hair gently. Itachi sighed when he saw the fatigue and stress in Alice's face.

"Alice."

Alice's eyes opened and they landed on Itachi almost instantly. He walked over to her and extracted her from Tiburon before lifting her off of the bed. He sat down a second later and settled her in his lap. Alice latched onto him, burying her face into his shoulder.

"You lied." He pointed out. "You said you would be okay."

She tightened her grip on him. "I didn't expect it to hurt so badly."

"I told you I would be home soon." Itachi told her.

"Four days is not soon." She whispered. "Not for me."

Itachi sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Alice muttered. "I'm just pathetic."

Tiburon sat up and he frown at his father. "We're not leaving her alone anymore. I don't care if I have to reject missions."

Cielo glanced at Tiburon. "I agree with Tiburon.

"It is not that simple, boys." Itachi stated.

"How are we going to keep her safe if both of us are gone on missions?" Tiburon demanded. "Screw missions. Mom is more important. You should have seen her when we got home, Dad."

Itachi closed his eyes and buried his face into Alice's shoulder. He held her for a time before sighing and kissing the side of her head. "So be it. I will talk with Leader."

Alice smiled and kissed Itachi's cheek. "You guys are far too good to me."

Cielo scoffed but didn't comment, preferring to pet Ash silently as he spent some alone time with his new adopted family.

Even if they were incredibly strange.

* * *

><p><em>I hate this chapter. But, timeskip comes soon. So get ready.<em>

**_Fun Fact:_**_My new laptop is amazing~_**_  
><em>**

Answer: _Sexy guys, humor, story lines, awesome abilities, relationships, and fucking violence. Not in that order though, lol._

**QotC: **_Fuck, I dunno... When does everyone go back to school? If you're out of school, lucky you.__  
><em>

_Meh.  
><em>


	55. Chapter 55

_Alrighty, here is the next chapter._

_Enjoy it if you can._

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Itachi shifted in his sleep and sighed tiredly. He opened his eyes and looked around the room briefly, satisfied that he noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Closing his eyes once more, he extended his chakra slightly and accepted, gratefully, that all of the members and non-members of the criminal organization he called family were in the base and safe.

Itachi opened his eyes once again and stared at the ceiling until he suddenly became aware of something.

A cool, tiny breeze was tickling the exposed flesh of his chest.

Glancing down, Itachi's face broke into a rare but true smile. Alice was sleeping beside him, her head resting on his shoulder and her mouth inches from his chest. Her arm was wrapped around his torso while her other was curled up against her own chest.

Itachi moved carefully, doing his utmost to avoid waking his sleeping wife. When he had found a comfortable position where he could continue to hold Alice and watch her sleep at the same time, he allowed himself to enjoy the earliest hours of the morning on the rare occasions that Alice slept in.

Usually she'd be up by now and already either getting ready for the day or making breakfast. Itachi, being the extremely intelligent male Shinobi he was, wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to watch his wife sleep peacefully.

Alice was one of those women who aged well. To him, she got more beautiful as she aged. And even though she said she would be a wrinkly, gray haired prune by the time she was forty because of the stress she dealt with daily, Itachi didn't believe it. He could tell Alice would maintain her looks forever.

Smiling slightly at the image of the eye roll she would give him if he ever told her that, Itachi stroked Alice's cheek gently. He traced over the scars that both marred and enhanced her appearance.

He enjoyed how peaceful she looked. Sure, he loved it best when she was smiling, but when she looked as peaceful as now, he was reminded why he loved everything about Alice. He remembered why he chose her, the temperamental, violent, bipolar, perverted, sarcastic, pessimistic thing she is, to marry him.

To him, she was perfect. Every aspect of her personality was something he fell in love with. And even after being married to her for so long, she still continued to surprise him and give him more reasons to love her even more.

If that were possible…

Itachi carded his fingers through Alice's hair gently when her eyelids flickered and her breathing changed in her sleep. She opened her eyes and stared at the spot of his chest that was directly in front of her eyes sleepily for a moment before a tiny smile appeared on her tired face.

"Morning babe." Alice grunted.

"Good morning, Alice." Itachi replied softly, lifting his head off the pillow and dipped forward to press a gentle kiss to Alice's lips. "Did you sleep well?"

Her eyes flicked up to his and she nodded, shifting towards his warmth. "Hn." She buried her face into his chest. "Thanks to you."

Itachi kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. He stroked her hair and sighed deeply just as she did.

She smiled. "You smell good."

"So do you." Itachi told her, smirking a bit. He rolled his eyes when she kissed his chest and began covering his flesh with light, butterfly kisses. A moment later, he jumped when she nibbled on a ticklish spot on his neck.

She snickered. "So freaking cute."

"Behave." He grunted.

She scoffed. "Make me." She nibbled on the spot again, grinning when he twitched away from her. "You're addicting."

"Alice." Itachi began in protest. "It's too early in the morning to start this."

"It's never too early for me to enjoy you." Alice countered.

Itachi opened his mouth to comment but was cut off by the door being swung open. Kakuzu stood in the doorway, a frown evident under his mask. "Itachi."

Itachi's Sharingan activated instantly. "What's wrong, Kakuzu?"

"Pein's calling an emergency meeting. An important Kumo outpost was destroyed four days ago." Kakuzu explained.

Itachi got up walked around the bed. He glanced back at Alice. "Alice?"

Alice rolled out of bed and hurried over to him, not caring that she was wearing one of Itachi's old shirts and Hidan's pants. Itachi lacked a shirt completely but at least was wearing pants that fit him.

The three of them hurried through the base to the meeting room where the others were waiting. Kisame, Sasori, and Kakuzu were the other three other than the leaders who were actually dressed. Kathryn was just wearing one of Deidara's t-shirts and Deidara was in a pair of very tattered pants. Hidan was in his boxers.

"What's up, Pein?" Alice asked immediately, sitting beside Kisame.

"An outpost belonging to Kumo was destroyed four days ago. The Raikage is out for blood and news of this incident is spreading across the Shinobi world like wildfire." Pein explained.

"So, does that mean Kumo is helping in the hunt for the morons trying to break the Alliance?" Kisame asked.

Pein shook his head, looking at Kisame. "No. The outpost was blown up by a very well known type of explosives."

"TNT?" Alice asked with a yawn. "I'm dynamite?"

"No Alice." Pein sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Explosive clay." He entwined his fingers and rested his elbows on the table. "Kumo believes Deidara did this."

**First Person Alice!**

"Bull fucking shit." I said instantly. "Deidara would never do anything to harm the Alliance."

Deidara gawked at Pein. "I didn't do it, un!"

"It is your technique." Pein said simply. "They have reason to suspect you, Deidara."

"No they don't." Itachi said firmly. "Deidara was in Konoha with us four days ago. We have proof. We just got home last night. The Hokage and you can vouch for that. Deidara played no part in that."

"Not to mention," Sasori continued, "Deidara isn't the only one who can use explosive clay. Sure he is the only one I know with hand mouths that spit out the clay other than now Sanaa, but anyone can feed gunpowder into clay and explosive chakra."

Pein glanced at us. "I'm aware of this. I've already informed the Raikage that we have proof to vouch for Deidara's innocence, and I've asked that if he is still suspicious that I will be more than willing to hold a meeting with him and present this proof to him." His gaze turned to Deidara. "Until then, you are on lock down just to avoid any conflict. You're not in trouble, Deidara."

Deidara sighed. "This is a pain in the ass, un."

"So when's the meeting?" I wondered.

"In three days, in Kiri." Pein stated. "All of you will be going besides you two, Hidan and Kakuzu. Kakuzu, I believe you have some bounties that you've wanted to acquire?"

Kakuzu nodded. "Yes sir."

"Take this time to collect as many as you'd like." Pein told him. "Just be careful who you kill and keep an eye open for any leads on this matter."

"Yes sir." Kakuzu stated.

"Sounds fucking good." Hidan grunted. "I need to fucking catch up on my rituals."

"I will be sending Zetsu to check on the two of you periodically just in case another incident happens that could possibly be related to the two of you." Pein continued. "The rest of you will be accompanying me."

"Even the kids?" Kathryn wondered.

Pein dipped his head. "Yes. Alice you are my advisor, Itachi and Kisame are your guards. Not all of you will be permitted in meetings, but we will figure that out later."

"When do we leave and how long will we be gone?" Sasori asked.

"We leave as soon as all of you are ready, so make it quick." Pein stated. "Prepare for at least a week."

The ninjas voiced their understanding obediently while Kathryn and I simply nodded.

"And please remember to wear clothing." Pein added. "Dismissed."

I got up with Itachi and Kisame and we went back to our rooms. I readied my stuff within five minutes and left it out for Itachi to store before going across the hallway.

"Tiburon." I barked, poking my son and fighting off Sable at the same time. "You need to get up, baby. We have to go somewhere."

Tiburon ignored me.

"Tiburon, I mean it. Get up." I snapped. "We're traveling to Kiri. Get up." When he didn't budge, I called Kisame's name. As soon as "Kisame!" left my lips, Tiburon was sitting straight up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Good boy. Get up, pack your stuff and give it to your daddy so he can store it. I have to go wake up Cielo." I told him. He yawned but got up, moving to obey me. I kissed his head when he passed me before going to the room attached to his.

"Cielo." I called, brushing Cielo's dark bangs out of his face. "Wake up sweetie."

Cielo shifted and opened his eyes tiredly. He looked up at me and raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"We have to leave, Cielo. Get up, get ready, and pack your things for a week stay in Kiri." I told him. "Make it quick because we leave soon."

He stared at me for a second. "Is Ash going?"

"We can bring him, yes." I nodded. "Up."

He nodded and got up, yawning. He smiled slightly when I kissed the top of his head and he got to his feet and began walking to his closet when I reached his bedroom door. I left his room and went to the hallway, looking back into Tiburon's room when I made to head back to my room to try and take a shower.

However, I paused when I saw Tiburon had flopped back on his bed. "Tiburon!" I snapped.

He jumped up. "I'm up."

I pointed at him. "Don't make me tell you again, Tiburon. Get ready. This is important."

He rubbed at the sleep in his eyes. "So is sleep."

"Tiburon…" I began.

"I'm up. Chill Mom." He muttered. "My bed just looked really lonely."

"It will survive." I deadpanned. "You have ten minutes to get ready and packed."

He waved at me. "Whatever. Go put on clothes that actually fit you."

I looked down. "These do fit me."

"They're huge." He deadpanned.

"This is your dad's shirt and Hidan's pants. Neither of them are much bigger than I am." I stated. "Not huge."

Tiburon raised his eyebrow. "That's totally Kisa's shirt. Dad would never wear that color unless you tied him to a chair and forced it on him."

"Your dad wears whatever I give him actually." I looked at the shirt. "This is your dad's. It's one of his older shirts. I actually think he might have stolen it from Kisame though." I shook my head. "Whatever. That's not important. Get ready."

He rolled his eyes at me and went to his dresser to begin finding clothes. I went into my bedroom, grabbed Itachi by his ponytail, which he protested, and dragged him into the shower with me, which he did not protest.

We showered together quickly and got ready in actual clothes swiftly. I dried my hair and Itachi used a water jutsu to get rid of the excess moisture in his hair. I put his hair up in his signature ponytail and then we left our bedroom the check on the kids.

Cielo, as expected, was completely ready. He was dressed, clean, packed neatly, and sitting on his bed with Ash and Sable who he had already fed.

Tiburon, not so much. He was in his boxers when we checked on him, having just finished with his morning routine. His stuff was everywhere and the things he planned on bringing were piled on his bed with no attempt at organization.

I face-palmed. "I can't believe our child is so unorganized." I glanced at Itachi. "If it wasn't for the fact that he looks so much like you and he has the Sharingan, I would swear that he and Cielo were switched at birth."

"Don't forget the fact that he acts almost exactly like you do." Itachi added as he picked through our son's arsenal of weapons. It was the only thing Tibby took care of and kept neat in his room. "Are you bringing these, Tiburon?"

Tiburon nodded, pulling on pants. "Yeah." He swatted my hand when I began trying to make his hair get out of his face. "Mom, quit it."

"Your hair is ridiculous. Do something with it." I stated. I threw his forehead protector at him and a shirt. "And hurry up. Are these the clothes you're taking?"

He nodded.

I scooped them up and offered them to Itachi. "Store these please."

Itachi motioned for me to wait a second before withdrawing a scroll from his cloak. He unrolled some of it before taking Tiburon's clothes from me and placing them on part of the scroll. A moment later, they disappeared as Itachi formed a hand sign to seal them.

"Why aren't you whining at Cielo?" Tiburon asked, tying his forehead protector around his forehead and successfully keeping his bangs out of his eyes.

"Because Cielo is already ready and clean. His stuff was organized and readily prepared for your dad to store, and he already fed Sable and Ash." I told Tiburon. "And he got up the first time I asked him."

Tiburon sighed. "Well isn't he perfect?"

"No, he's not. He just listens to me." I countered. "Are you ready yet?"

He opened his arms out to me. "Yes mother, I'm ready."

"Don't call me mother." I scolded. "That makes me feel old."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You're not old, Mom."

I smiled and patted his head. "If we pass by a tea shop with dango on the way to Kiri, I'll get you one."

He grinned and hugged me. "Did I mention how awesome you are?"

"Yeah, don't push it kid." I said dismissively. "Tachi, you get one too because you're sexy."

Itachi kissed my cheek. "I love you."

I laughed and shook my head. "I love you too. You both are so easily pleased." I glanced down the hall. "Kisa? You ready?"

Kisame poked his head out of his room. "My stuff's already at the door. I was just reapply Samehada's bandages." He held up said sword. "I finished a moment or two before you called." He looked around. "Where's Cielo?"

"He's at the entrance with Sable and Ash." I informed him. "And I want you to know that Itachi and Tiburon are really easily controlled."

Kisame grinned. "How so?"

"Persuade them with sweets." I smirked.

Kisame snickered. "Been there, done that, Al."

"You can also use them as punishments." I informed him.

"I'll have to look into that." Kisame chuckled. "Shall we head to the entrance?"

"Let's." I nodded.

And so, we headed to the entrance and shortly after, we left for Kiri. We arrived in due time and immediately we were immersed in lengthy meetings until finally Deidara was cleared. However, now we had the full support of Suna, Kumo and Kiri in trying to hunt down the enemies who dared tried to fuck with something we all worked so hard to create and uphold.

Shortly after, Ōnoki agreed to join the search for our enemies and things went underway.

You don't fuck with the hidden villages and the Akatsuki, and you most certainly don't fuck with all of them united under a goal of peace.

That's just silly and you'll probably lose your head.

And I would _really_ hate to be on the business end of the Kage's attacks and the Akatsuki's insanity.

Those assholes better run.

Because we will find them.

* * *

><p><em>Time skip chapter is next.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **__Moving sucks._

Answer: _My first day of classes is the 22 of August._

**QotC: **_Have you ever moved? If so, how many times? What's your favorite thing about moving? What's the worst thing?_

_**WotC: **__Library – biblioteca._

_Sorry for the later update. I've been moving and working and that's been taking up a lot of time. I'll be done by tomorrow though. However, I won't have internet until Saturday so I won't be able to update at least until then._

_Thank you all for the support. You're amazing and I love you._

_Toodles._


	56. Chapter 56

_This, ladies and gents, is the second timeskip chapter._

_Enjoy it if at all possible.  
><em>

_I apologize for any errors.  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

_So meh.  
><em>

* * *

><p>I frowned with confusion when suddenly I appeared inside that strange as hell library room again. I glared around the room, looking for some sort of clue as to how in the fucking hell I got in here but saw none.<p>

"Where the fuck are we?" I asked, looking around.

Itachi, who had come to this magical place with me once more, shook his head. "I have no idea, Alice."

Kathryn raised her hand.

"What Kathryn?" I demanded. "Now isn't the time."

She pointed towards the couches. "Kakuzu's here."

I blinked. "What?" I followed her point and raised my eyebrow at Kakuzu who was sitting one of the couches, reading quietly. "Kakuzu?"

He looked around as if he just noticed we were here. "What?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He looked at his book before looking back at me. He did that two more times before raising his eyebrow. "Reading."

I glared. "Alright smartass." I gestured around the room. "What is this place?"

"It's my library." He said simply.

"Yours?" I repeated.

He nodded. "Mine." He pointed to the fireplace. "My name is on it."

I followed his hand and raised my eyebrow at the golden plaque on the shelf above the fireplace. It read "This room and everything inside it are the property of Kakuzu".

I stared. "What the actual fuck…?"

"Are you going to stand there awkwardly or are you going to sit down?" Kakuzu asked, looking at me curiously.

I hesitated briefly before shrugging off my caution and walking to the chairs. I sat down beside Kakuzu and Itachi sat beside me. Kathryn and Deidara sat across from us.

"What are you reading, un?" Deidara asked.

Kakuzu showed him the cover of the book. "It's called _The History of the Akatsuki_. From what I've read, it has a detailed report of everything that has happened involving the Akatsuki from Alice and Kathryn's arrival up to yesterday."

I frowned. "That's really creepy."

"What's even creepier is the author." Kakuzu stated.

"Who's the author?" Itachi wondered.

Kakuzu looked at him. "Zetsu."

Kathryn started laughing.

I raised my eyebrow. "Where are you at?"

"I'm currently around the part where the Tsuchikage agreed to join our investigation on the terrorist group." Kakuzu explained.

"How long have you been in here?" I asked.

He glanced at me. "I'm old and I have five hearts."

"On second thought, I don't want to know." I stated.

He nodded.

"So… are there like chapters?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes. And they are sectioned off by years." Kakuzu stated. "I will show you." He marked his spot with a bookmark and then flipped to the front. "I will start after my section. The next year is titled year eleven. Tiburon and Sanaa are ten in this section. The next section they will be eleven and it continues until now when they are thirteen."

"So basically, in regards to the kids, it explains how they've matured physically, mentally, and in skills." I mused.

Kakuzu nodded. "Indeed." He raised his eyebrow at a book glowing on the mantelpiece. "Huh… I don't recall putting that up there…"

I got up and grabbed it, frowning when I noticed it was the time skip book again. I sighed and sat back down. "I guess this means we have to summarize."

"Fuck, again?" Kathryn asked.

"Again." I nodded. "Want to help, Kakuzu?"

"No. I'd rather read." He said boredly. He waved his hand at me. "Carry on."

I shook my head. "So… who first?"

"Me!" Kathryn chirped.

"Alright Kat, go on." I sighed.

Kathryn rubbed her chin. "So, starting with Sanaa, she's a cute, developing little girl now. She's filling out rather nicely and she's just as tall as her daddy now." She smiled. "Sanaa has learned to use Dei's technique and she has a lot of fun with it. Though, she also was taught the puppeteer jutsu thingy Danna uses and she's pretty good at it." Kathryn looked at me. "What else?"

"Sanaa has just grown more like Kathryn than she was before, but she still has tendencies to act just like Deidara when she's sparring or angry." I added. "Her hair is super long now and she still keeps it up in a ponytail."

"She's been talking about cutting it all off so she can have something new." Kathryn mused.

Deidara pouted. "My baby's hair is too beautiful to cut off, un."

Kathryn beamed and hugged him. "But _our_ baby will look beautiful no matter how her hair is styled. Right Dei?"

Deidara returned the gesture. "Of course, yeah."

"Anyways, Sanaa is now a Chūnin, having been promoted by Pein for her skills and her loyalty to her comrades." I continued.

"Tiburon and Cielo are also Chūnin." Itachi added.

"Oh Tibby and Cielo." I smirked. "Tiburon shot up in height. I think he's as tall as me now if not taller. I swear you can watch him grow. His hair is kind of shaggy, but he pulls it off. He let Kathryn cut it so it isn't outrageously long. It hangs to the base of his neck." I rubbed my neck.

"He's matured a lot, though he still acts a lot like his mother. He's more serious than he used to be and he is a very capable Shinobi." Itachi continued.

"He still doesn't listen to me half the time though." I deadpanned.

Itachi kissed the side of my head. "Tiburon is also planning on taking a test to become a Jōnin soon."

"And I am not happy about it." I added. "Cielo's taking the test too." I smiled. "Cielo is a very calm, stoic, extremely respectful young man. He cut his hair so it's kind of spiky on the top of his head. He's gotten even paler if that is at all possible, but he's not Sai pale. Cielo likes to wear covering, dark clothing and he's taken on a facemask. I disapprove because it hides his adorable face, but who am I to tell him no? And he looks like a badass with his facemask."

"He likes wearing hoods too, un." Deidara added with a smirk. "That kid is anti-sun yeah."

"He takes after me." I said dismissively.

Kathryn giggled. "The kids are all doing really well. They've gotten used to our Ame base and actually, they all love it here now."

"Side note, Tibby's second elemental affiliation is wind. Itachi thinks it's because of Tiburon's personality." I explained. "Sanaa's second affiliation is water, Cielo has known his second affiliation for a while and it's lightning."

"However, because Tiburon is an Uchiha with the Sharingan, he can use all elements, though they are not as strong unless they are wind and fire. Also, Kekkei Genkai are not obtainable through the Sharingan." Itachi continued.

"Moving on, un." Deidara began. "We've finally confirmed that our enemies are in fact rogues. They have no current ties to any villages, but we have information that makes us believe their base of operations is in Taki yeah."

"Apparently they're a rebel organization called Shi." Itachi continued.

"And they're a bunch of idiots." I nodded. "They've currently destroyed five of our other bases, and they've attacked the other villages at intervals. Shikamaru and I have recognized a pattern for their attacks and we've been collaborating together to try and figure out when they plan to strike again. It's only a matter of time before we catch them."

"Hey!" Kathryn stated. "There's the door! We must have done enough."

"Good." I sighed. "I'm ready to get out of here." I glanced at Kakuzu. "You coming?"

He looked at me. "You do realize there has been a door there the entire time right?"

I stared at him. "What?"

He gestured towards the fireplace. "Pull the second book on the fifth self from the ground."

Curious, I walked over and did just that. A second later, the bookshelf beside me flipped and revealed a door. I gawked. "What is this place?!"

Kakuzu smirked. "It's mine."

"So this is basically Kakuzu's Narnia…" Kathryn mused. "The kitties, the bitch, and the bookshelf…" She pointed to herself, Itachi and Deidara. Then she turned her finger to me and finally to the bookshelf. "It all makes sense…"

He frowned. "Out. I'm at a good part in this book."

Kakuzu then proceeded to shove all of us out of the room and through the bookshelf with his tentacles.

Jerk.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_Sunburns are awful. I currently have one on my shoulders and chest. It hurts to wear bras and shirt. :(_

Answer: _I have moved...eight times. My favorite thing about moving is probably the new places and getting away from the stress of the old places. My least favorite thing is the pets. Three of the times I have moved, I've moved to places where I couldn't bring some of my pets. I used to have two Rottweilers and when we moved into my grandma's we had to get rid of them because they were too big and she was afraid they would kill her dog. We've had to get rid of one of our other dogs who was eleven when we got rid of him, and three cats. So yeah... moving sucks.  
><em>

**QotC:** _What's your favorite website of all time on the internet? Is it Fanfiction, deviantart, narutoget, Narutopedia, wikipedia? What?_

Tori-da-Mutt _asked me what my opinion on religion was a few chapters back so I thought I'd answer because it was a question on the chapter that I had to answer. My opinion on religion is indifference. I'm not religious at all. I can't grasp the concept of it. If God exists, awesome. If he doesn't then whoopdie doo. It honestly won't effect my living person at all if he's real or not. I mean sure, I'd love to believe there was an all powerful person out there who loved me unconditionally and is always looking out for me, but I just can't wrap my head around that. As for people who do believe in something, whether it is one god, a million gods, satan, Jashin, or a blade of grass; I respect them. I respect people who a belief system and I sometimes wish I had the ability to care enough to believe in something. However, if people are obnoxious about it, I want to kill them because it's utterly annoying._

_Anyways, feel free to ask me whatever and if I forgot one of your questions then I'm sorry. Ask me again or point it out to me and I'll answer it in my next chapter.  
><em>

_:)  
><em>

_Toodles  
><em>


	57. Chapter 57

_Yeah...  
><em>

_Here is chapter 57  
><em>

_I don't own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>Time Skip~<em>

_Well over four years later._

I yawned tiredly as I lounged on the hill beside the Akatsuki base. For once in a blue moon, it wasn't raining here so I was enjoying the weather while I could. I was completely alone besides Sable's protective, graying form a few feet from me lying in the sun. I was under a tree, taking advantage of the shade it provided.

I could distinctly hear Itachi and Kisame fighting in the outdoor training grounds on the other side of the tree line. Distant explosions informed me of Deidara's position as he sparred with Sasori, no doubt being cheered on by his wife. Though, Sasori was probably being cheered for too.

Peaceful, was the only way to describe it.

But, as usual, peace and Akatsuki do not go hand in hand.

"Mom!"

I grunted when suddenly a weight fell on top of me and familiar arms wrapped around me. I frowned, disliking the fact that I was being manhandled and I smacked the mass holding me.

"Ouch!" It whined.

A quiet chuckle came from beside me. The grass rustled as whoever owned the voice sat on the ground near my head with the poise of an assassin. "I told you she would do that to you, Tiburon. You should have left her alone."

"I didn't think she'd be so mean. She hasn't seen me in five days." Tiburon whined pathetically.

I opened my eyes and smiled at seeing my brat of a teenage son essentially lying on top of me as he hugged me. Tiburon wore a black Chūnin vest with a red shirt under it and black pants with heavy, black boots like my own. His scratched Konoha forehead protector was tied on his brow, keeping his thick, shaggy black hair that went to the base of his neck, out of his eyes. His eyes were alight with his Kekkei Genkai and a grin was on his adorable face. His Akatsuki cloak had been discarded and was currently being rolled on by Sable.

Tibby wasn't a member, but he had conned the cloak out of Pein with his pouty face.

My gaze softened and I stroked his hair out of his face. "Hi baby."

His grin widened. "Hey Mom."

I glanced to my right and smiled at the older boy I had come to call my own. He had a scratched Ame forehead protector around his forehead as well, but his ink black hair was kept shorter than Tiburon's and had taken on kind of a spiky appearance. He had only gotten paler, if that were possible and that was only accented by the dark hair that sat atop his head and his bright blue eyes set into his handsome face. His eyes and hair contrasted his pale skin like his black clothing. He wore his Akatsuki cloak still, the hood of it covering his head like he preferred.

"Hi Cielo, love." I greeted.

Cielo gave me a small smile beneath the facemask he wore, reaching up and lowering his hood. "Hello Alice. It's good to see you."

I winked at him and looked at Tiburon. "You're disturbing my napping."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Whatever Mom."

I stroked his hair, pulling some strands of grass from it. "Where's Sanaa?"

"Greeting her parents." Tiburon informed me.

"BABY!" Kathryn squealed.

"MOMMY!" Sanaa's sweet voice replied.

Cielo rolled his eyes while Tiburon sighed and shook his head. I just laughed. "I see that." I shoved Tiburon off of me and sat up. "How was the mission?"

Tiburon shrugged. "Boring. We didn't even get to fight anyone." He threw a glare at Cielo.

I glanced at the pale boy to my right.

Cielo shrugged, unfazed by the glare. "I used my Kekkei Genkai and Sanaa recaptured the scrolls we were sent to fetch. The enemy didn't put up a fight."

I sighed. "I hate the fact that you kids are getting older and are going into dangerous areas." I sighed dejectedly. "I'd rather keep you here with me forever."

"Well you can't Mom." Tiburon informed me. "That would be boring."

"I'm offended." I pouted.

He hugged me. "I love you."

"I love you too, brat." I grumbled, hugging him back. I then snatched Cielo from his spot beside me and pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. "And I love you as well, Cielo."

Cielo returned the hug stoically. "I love you too, Alice."

"So, did you two report into Pein?" I asked, looking at them.

Cielo nodded. "It was the first thing we did."

"Do you have any more missions?" I wondered.

"Not that I know of." Tiburon shrugged. "Pein mentioned something about all of us going to Konoha for a while to work on the investigation. And by all of us I mean everyone including him, Konan, and Zetsu."

"That would be nice." I mused. "I miss Sasuke and Kakashi." I glanced at him. "Did he say when we were going?"

"In like a week or something." Tiburon shrugged. "He'll probably call a meeting for it. I think he's sending Dad and Kisa on a mission before that though."

I sighed. "What time is it?"

"Like… six I think?" Tiburon mused, looking at the sky.

"I better go start on dinner." I stood up and whistled loudly. "Oi! Shitheads! I'm about to make dinner! Start wrapping up and head inside!"

"Your cooking sucks!"

"Fuck you Loofa!" I retorted, walking towards the base. "You boys go and wash up."

So, once I got back to the base I made dinner, being hounded by Hidan the entire time. And then afterwards, I busied myself with giving Sable and Ash baths since Itachi and Kisame were called in for their mission briefing. After Itachi got back, we showered, he packed, and then we went to bed.

Their mission was an escort mission for some Ame noble going to a village on the border of the Land of Rivers. It would take them about three days to complete at most. Both of them were guessing about two days if they were able to set the pace without being obnoxious about it.

Itachi and Kisame left the next morning after breakfast and I spent the first day of their mission doing my daily tasks I'm burdened with every Thursday of cleaning up after my morons and making the base livable. I didn't socialize with anyone really. I didn't even bother to eat lunch or dinner because there were so many things I had to do.

It was strange, because I didn't see any of the kids all day yesterday and usually Cielo offers to make the meals on Thursdays to lessen my load because he's a sweetheart. However, I didn't see him. When I asked Sasori, he told me that the kids went to Ame for the day so I just brushed off their absences.

The next day, I found out why the kids avoided me.

I had just walked into the living room to see Tiburon lounging on the couch, watching TV. I glanced at him in recognition, having been looking for my shoes, when I noticed something different and did a double take.

I stared.

And stared.

"…Mom?" Tiburon asked, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

I continued to stare.

"What are those?" I asked, my eyes falling on the two black spikes in his lower lip.

He sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes out of habit, revealing gauges in both of his earlobes. "Piercings… Snake bite piercings…"

"You got your face pierced… And your ears…" I hissed, my eyes flicking to his Sharingan angrily. "Without my permission?" I narrowed my eyes. "Your _face_?!"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't think you would mind… I mean, Dad paints his nails. You told me not to so I never have."

"Tiburon Shisui Uchiha…" I growled, my knuckles cracking as I prepared to whack the hell out of the back of his head. "I want an explanation. _Now_."

"Dad knew!" Tiburon said quickly, getting to his feet quickly. "It was his idea!"

I paused. "Don't lie to me, Tiburon."

"I'm not lying!" Tiburon stated. "Ask him."

"I will." I snarled. I ripped my phone from my pocket and dialed the number to Itachi and Kisame's phone. After four rings, they answered.

"_Hello?_" Itachi asked.

"Did you know about Tiburon's piercings?" I snapped.

Itachi was silent for a moment, probably a little offended by my lack of greeting and my harsh tone. "_Yes. I assumed you were aware he was getting them too. I'm guessing you weren't and you just now found out about them?_"

I glared at Tiburon. "Yes. Why did you let him get piercings? On his face!"

"_They were Leader's suggestion. It's just so he can keep an eye on Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa when they're gone. It was done purely out of a desire to protect Tiburon. Not to spite you, or supply him with a fashion statement._" Itachi soothed. "_I told him he should leave the piercings to his ears, but he wanted those spikes on his lip. To be honest, however, he fills them in rather well. At my mission debriefing, I asked Pein about it and Tiburon was looking through his options and decided on the lip things._"

I blinked, suddenly seeing a reason behind my son's stupid decision. "Oh. Well then I'm okay with it then. That's very considerate of you, love. I'm sorry for yelling at you. And by the way, you're still sexy."

Itachi chuckled. "_I miss you._"

"I miss you too. Hurry home." I told him. "I love you and Kisame. I'll let you get back to your mission though."

"_We love you._" He assured me. "_Tell Tiburon to behave._"

"He never listens to me." I deadpanned.

Tiburon winced as I finished the call and hung up. "Yeah I do."

"After I threaten you, you do." I stated.

"It's fun to watch you get angry." He said quietly.

"I hope you know you aren't helping your case." I told him with narrowed eyes.

He rubbed the back of his head. "I know. They're just snake bites…" He pointed at me. "You have a tongue piercing."

"I'm also an adult." I told him, sticking my tongue out at him and showing off said piercing. "You're thirteen." I crossed my arms. "Mine is also easily hidden. Yours are right on the front of your face for everyone to see. Your ears are one thing but honestly Tiburon? Snake-bites?"

"I think they look cool." He pouted. "Pein has them."

"You do fill them out rather well, but I don't want my son to have a facial piercing that I _used to_ find attractive on guys. That's just not fun. Also, Pein thinks he's a god. He's crazy so having a shit load of piercings is required. Have you seen his other bodies?" I growled. "But what's done is done. You're not getting any dango for a week though."

He huffed. "No fun."

"I'm not fun." I deadpanned. "Did Sanaa get some?"

"Yeah. She just got her ears pierced though." Tiburon shrugged. "If they piss you off that much, I can ask Pein to put them somewhere else."

I waved my hand. "Keep them if you want, I don't care. It just shocked me that my _thirteen year old son_ had piercings on his face. When I saw you yesterday morning, you had none." I glanced at him. "Does Cielo have any?"

"He got his eyebrow pierced and a crap load of them in his ears." Tiburon stated. "That seemed too painful."

"I would have ripped them out if you would have gotten your eyebrow pierced." I snapped. "Cielo has the face for them. You do not."

He sighed. "Kay."

I frowned at him and roll my eyes. "You're lucky you're cute and I love you."

He grinned at me and darted over to my side and hugged me. "I love you too Mommy."

I hugged him back and rumpled his hair that reached his chin. He had let Kathryn cut it and was content on keeping it chin length since Sanaa often got her revenge on him by yanking on his hair. "You need a haircut."

"I like my hair long." He pouted.

"Then do something with it." I told him, tugging on one of his bangs. "It keeps falling into your eyes. That won't be good in a fight."

"You want me to grow it out so I look more like dad?" He asked, smirking a bit.

"Not necessarily. You could cut it short considering you've never had short hair besides when you were a baby." I told him. "Let Sanaa play around with it. She'll find something good for you."

Tiburon gave me a deadpan expression. "I'd rather die."

"With that attitude, you'll never get a girlfriend." I told him.

He rolled his eyes. "Like you'd ever let me have one who wasn't Sanaa."

"True." I nodded, walking towards the exit. "Be good. Your dad and Kisame will be home soon."

"Weren't you looking for something?" He asked.

"My boots." I stated. "Have you seen them?"

He nodded. "Yeah, they're by the entrance I think." He cocked his head to the side at me. "Do you think I'd look good with short hair?"

"That depends on how short you mean." I stated, looking at him. "Bald? Absolutely not."

He rubbed his chin in thought. "Like to my ears."

I smirked. "Yes. Tibby, you'd pretty much be able to pull off anything. Just don't cut it too short or else I won't be able to pet you."

"Alright." He raised his eyebrow. "Kitty?"

"Kathryn." I nodded. "She was in the kitchen the last time I checked."

"Why are you looking for your shoes?" He asked.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Why are you asking so many questions?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Because you're fun to talk to and because I love you."

I gave him a look. "What do you want?"

"Why do you assume I want something when I say something nice about you?" He pouted.

"Because I know you, Tiburon. I created you." I deadpanned, putting my hands on my hips. "Now what do you want?"

"Can we go to Konoha early?" He asked. "Please don't stand like that. I feel like you're going to beat me when you do that."

"When have I ever _beat _you, Tiburon?" I frowned. "Why?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Because I might have done something to Hidan-oji's ritual room and I really don't want to be in the country when he finds out about it…"

I sighed. "I'll talk to your dad when he gets home."

"Can we meet him there?" Tiburon asked. "We'll go with Sori-Danna, Dei, and Kitty."

I narrowed my eyes. "What did you _do_, Tiburon?"

"I can't tell you that." He said simply. "Please Mom? Or can I go and meet you there?"

"Ask Pein." I said dismissively. "I don't care. I'm not even going to stress myself out over you, Tiburon."

He hugged me. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now get." I shooed. I sighed and rubbed my forehead as I began walking out of the room. "First he gets piercings on his face and then he starts demanding things…" I shook my head. "Teenagers."

He laughed. "You know you love it."

Instead of giving him a sarcastic retort, I continued on my way through the base until I found my shoes. Once I found them, I put them on and then traveled through the dark hallways until I reached the back door.

Whistling for Sable, I left the base and went to find somewhere shady to sit. I always went outside when it wasn't raining because otherwise I would miss my chance to pale.

Get it?

Instead of tanning in the sun I pale in the shade…?

Yeah, I didn't think it was funny either but Hidan certainly did when he cracked it this morning.

Sasori and I assured him he was a moron for ten minutes.

Anyways, I found a nice place to lounge around in the cool breeze in the shade of a large willow tree. Sable and Ash had both joined me and were cuddling together against the tree. I smiled at their cuteness and closed my eyes, putting my hands under my head as I lie on my back.

A vibration in my pants interrupted me.

Sighing, I dug my phone out of my pocket and held it up to my ear. "Sup?"

"_Alice._"

I sighed. "What Sasori?"

"_We're leaving for Konoha tomorrow. Are you coming?_" He asked.

"I have no idea. I'll have to discuss it with Itachi. Why are we leaving before Pein's even called a meeting?" I stated.

"_He did_." Sasori informed me. "_He called one yesterday while you were doing laundry._"

I frowned. "And I wasn't invited… why?"

"_I have no idea. Probably because you're one of the few people in this base who doesn't need everything spelled out for you._" Sasori deadpanned. "_It was boring anyways and it was nothing new. The only thing he informed us of was that we were heading to Konoha to discuss the threat of our enemies. All of the Kage are going, and a few leaders from the smaller villages are attending as well._"

I raised my eyebrow. "Really? Interesting. What villages?"

"_Taki, Yu, Kusa, Ishi, and I think someone from the Land of Waves._" Sasori explained. "_I'm pretty sure Pein mentioned someone from Ame besides him is going as well. I might have misheard though, Kathryn was gushing over Deidara in my ear at the time._"

I sighed. "So many people. I think as Pein's ambassador and his adviser that I should have been informed of this but hey, Pein's a god and he does what he wants."

I could hear Sasori rolling his eyes. "_Yeah._ _Talk to Itachi and let me know. We leave tomorrow morning if you're going. And it might be easier for Itachi to meet us there. Less running for him and Kisame._"

"I'll call him." I nodded. Sasori and I exchanged a brief farewell before I flicked through my phone until I found Itachi's number. Dialing him up, I waited for him to answer.

"_Hello?_" He asked.

"Tachi, Sasori, Deidara, Kathryn, and the kids are heading up to Konoha tomorrow morning. They want me to go with them. Would you be okay with meeting us there or do you want me to wait for you?" I explained.

Itachi was quiet for a moment. "_I will meet you there if you wish to go early. I can see where that would be easier. Besides, it will take me less time to go to Konoha than back to the base. That way, I can return to you faster._"

I smiled. "That sounds like a good reason." I sighed. "This was Tiburon's idea, by the way."

"_Oh?_" He asked.

"Yeah, he did something to Hidan's ritual room and he doesn't want to be around when Hidan finds out about it." I sighed. "I think it might be something else, but I can never tell with him. He's always up to something."

Itachi hummed his agreement. "_I know. I suppose we'll figure it out in time. Are you going with Sasori?"_

"I might as well." I stated. "Less hassle. This way, I can also keep an eye on Tiburon."

"_I would rather not leave Sasori with the burden of babysitting him in our stead. Considering Sasori will be only one who disciplines him._" Itachi agreed.

I sighed. "Alright babe. I'll pack all your shit for you and have Sasori store it for me in your scrolls. I love you and I'll see you soon. I'll let you get back to your mission. What are you doing anyways?"

"_Kisame and I have just escorted our charge to his lodgings. We're waiting for his new guard to arrive before we head to Konoha."_ Itachi explained. "_We should be heading out within the hour._"

"Alright." I nodded. "I'll see you soon, Itachi. I love you and tell Kisame that I love him too."

"_I love you as well._" He replied. After saying a last goodbye, we hung up and I got up to head inside and begin packing.

* * *

><p><em>I lack the desire to write anything.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **My cousin Hunter is a moron. lol He ran from his house to my house to get some books he needed for school from me, only to realize he wouldn't be able to carry them all the way back. He lives like seven miles from my house. So I had to drive him home.  
><em>

Answer: _Porn sites! No, I'm kidding. Probably... Pandora. I love Pandora. Sidenote: Google isn't a website. It's a search engine. There's a difference. Yahoo isn't a website either._

**QotC:** _For those of you who haven't been paying attention, I have posted a chapter of extras/outtakes/deleted scenes from my stories. Any ideas for it? The question is, however, who is watching the Olympics? If you are, what's your favorite game?__  
><em>

_I'd like to draw everyone's attention to the little image thing for stories. Right now, it's a picture of Tiburon. However, I don't like it all that much. For those of you with artistic abilities, or those of you who are just that amazing, I'm going to offer you the chance to make the cover for any of my stories. I don't care which one it is. It could be for this one, Conflicting Religions, anything. I'll choose the best pictures and put them up there, give you a shout out in, most likely, every chapter, and I might just write a oneshot for you or something. :)  
><em>

_So yeah. Feel free to do it. xdreamernumbuhfour, if you have one of your pictures that you want to put as the cover, all you have to do is ask. You get special treatment because you've done more fanart for me than anyone else. (Fun fact: I actually wrote fanfart instead of fanart just now.)  
><em>

_Anywhozal.  
><em>

_Bye.  
><em>


	58. Chapter 58

_What the?_

_:) Enjoy the chapter, my lovelies.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Finally!" Tiburon announced, throwing his hands up in the air as we arrived before the giant ass gates of Konoha. "I <em>hate<em> running to Konoha from Ame!"

"It didn't take nearly as long as it usually does." Cielo stated.

"Only because Kuzu-oji called us and told us that Hidan-oji was chasing after us." Sanaa said thoughtfully.

Sasori looked at Tiburon. "What did you do to him?"

"I put symbols of other religions all over his ritual room, replaced his Jashinist bible with a different bible and I replaced his weapons with flowers and crosses." Tiburon said with a shrug. "I also might have set a trap for him that hung him from the ceiling and locked him in the room. I figured he would have found out the day we left."

"According to Kakuzu, Hidan had been missing since the day we left up until yesterday when he called us un." Deidara snickered.

Kathryn giggled. "Oh that is all kinds of offensive."

Tiburon smirked. "Oh well. We're here now after almost three days of running." He sighed dramatically. "Stupid Pein had to make it rain the entire time because he's a butthead."

I swatted the back of his head. "Quit your bitching." I walked passed him and an utterly amused Cielo to the stand beside the gates where Kotetsu and Izumo were sitting. "Hey guys."

"Alice!" Kotetsu smiled as Sable jumped over the stand to greet Izumo. "Good to see you." He looked over my companions. "No Itachi?"

I shrugged. "He should either already be here or be here soon." I glanced over my shoulder. "Kisame's with him and Hidan, Kakuzu, Pein, Zetsu, and Konan should be here in a few days."

Izumo signed us in while Kotetsu fought off Sable. "Are you guys going to report to the Hokage?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "We'll head there now." I tapped the counter. "See you guys later. And don't work too hard."

As we walked away from the duo, Cielo glanced back at them from my side, Ash still in his arms from where Cielo carried him here. "That would have to be the single worst duty ever. Never will I be on gate-duty."

Sanaa giggled. "He said duty…"

Sasori face-palmed while Deidara and Kathryn snickered along with their daughter.

"Never say never, Cielo." I told him. "You might just have to be on gate duty one day." I rumpled his hair. "I'll be sure to entertain you if you are though."

"Thanks." He said boredly.

Tiburon elbowed me. "Mom, can I go find Sasuke?"

"No." I told him. "You're not going anywhere."

He pouted. "But why?"

"It's punishment for getting piercings in your face without my permission." I informed him.

He gawked at me. "But Cielo has piercings in his face too."

"Cielo didn't ask to leave." I stated. "I would have told him no too."

Tiburon slumped. "So mean."

Cielo smirked beneath his facemask and patted Tiburon's now short hair. "Quit complaining." He set Ash down who trotted after Sable who was busying herself with inspecting what must have been a suspicious looking bush.

"I don't have piercings in my face!" Sanaa chirped. "Can I go find Sasuke?"

"Yes." I nodded.

She stuck her tongue out at Cielo and Tiburon. "Ha! Icy loves me the most!"

"Bullshit." Tiburon scoffed. He yelped when I walloped the back of his head. "Ouch Mom!"

"No cussing, brat." I scolded. I smiled a second later. "Hello Shikaku. Hi Shikamaru."

Both Nara males dipped their heads at me.

"Hello Alice." Shikaku greeted. "You look well."

I smiled. "Thank you, so do you. Is Tsunade busy?"

"Not anymore." Shikamaru stated, catching Sable's paws when she jumped on him. He fought off her tongue like a pro. "She was doing paperwork but she finished during our meeting."

"Hn." I nodded. "Good. I'll see you guys later."

Shikaku patted my shoulder as he walked by us, taking a moment to rumple Tiburon's short hair and say a gentle hello to Kathryn and Sanaa. When the deer fanatics were gone, we continued to Tsunade's office.

I opened the door without knocking, ignoring Sasori's scoff about my rudeness and greeted Tsunade. "Ah Tsunade, my favorite Hokage!"

She gave me a smirk, greeting Sable who hurried around her desk to say hello. "Hello Alice. And hello Sable."

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm perfectly fine. And yourself?" She wondered.

"Peachy." I replied. "We're early, obviously. Tiburon was dying to see his uncle."

She looked at Tiburon and raised her eyebrow. "He cut his hair? He looks like a different person."

"And he got facial piercings." I deadpanned. "He's going through a phase right now or something. I don't pretend to know how Uchiha teenagers work."

Tsunade laughed. "I think the short hair is a good look for you, Tiburon."

He grinned at her. "Thanks. I kind of like it. Kitty did a good job."

"Awe, thanks Tibby!" Kathryn beamed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and hugging him from behind. He just smirked.

"I miss his long hair." Sanaa pouted.

"Only because you can't pull it anymore." Cielo mused, giving her a tiny smirk. She returned his smirk by sticking her tongue out at him.

I waved away their bickering. "We're going to head to the Uchiha district and unpack. Feel free to use these brats to do your bidding whenever you want. If they give you shit, send them to me and I'll beat them."

Cielo rolled his eyes. "When have I ever complained?"

"The day before we left the base." Tiburon told him.

"That was not complaining." Cielo stated. "You took Ash's toy and put it up somewhere high so he couldn't play with it."

Tiburon sighed. "The squeaking was getting on my nerves."

"Your voice gets on my nerves but you don't see me taking your things away." Cielo retorted smoothly.

Tiburon glared. "I hate you so much."

"Do not hate me because I'm better than you." Cielo said dismissively.

I looked at Sasori. "I take full credit for teaching Cielo everything he knows."

Sasori shrugged. "Claim him. I don't care. His sarcastic qualities are as inadequate as your ability to mold chakra."

"And you're a necrophiliac." I retorted.

He glared at me as I turned around to resume my conversation with Tsunade. "But yeah, anything else?"

Tsunade smiled. "No, not at the moment. Thank you, Alice. I appreciate you coming to see me. If I need you, I'll send word for you."

"Sounds good." I nodded. "I'll leave you to your business now. See you."

"Goodbye." She replied, her hand itching towards the sake stash in her desk.

I laughed at her predictability as I led my idiots out of the Hokage tower and through the village until we reached the Uchiha district.

I had just passed the little entrance thingy, when I was instantly scooped up into a hug. "Alice!"

I had an instant to get an eyeful of spiky blond hair before I was crushed against a chest covered by a black and orange jumpsuit. "Hello Naruto."

He grinned and squeezed me into a hug. "I missed you! It's been forever since you visited."

I returned his hug gently before breaking away from him. "I missed you too, Naruto."

"Who's that?" Naruto asked, looking at Tiburon.

Tiburon pouted. "Do I really look that different with short hair?"

"Tibby?" Naruto questioned.

"Yep." Tiburon nodded.

"You got a hair cut!" Naruto pointed out.

Tiburon stared at him. "No I didn't. My head just grew."

Naruto looked like his brain was going to break.

"Don't say things like that to him, Tiburon." A familiar voice said smoothly. "The Dobe can't handle sarcasm. He really believes what you say."

Tiburon grinned. "Hey Sasuke."

"Hello." My brother-in-law said boredly. He bumped his shoulders against mine. "Hello Alice."

"Hi Sasuke." I smiled, laughing when Sanaa tackled Naruto. He got over confusion instantly because he cheered loudly and returned her greeting just as enthusiastically. "How are you?"

"Well." He said simply. He glanced at me. "You're late."

"Late?" I asked. "How am I late? We weren't supposed to leave Ame for another three days."

A set of strong arms wrapped around my waist. A pair of soft lips pressed against my neck just before a sexy voice filled my ears. "He meant you were late because you didn't come here with me."

I smiled and turned around in those sexy arms and instantly latched onto my husband. I kissed him fully. "Itachi."

Itachi returned the gesture, entwining one of his hands in my hair while his other kept me pinned to his body. "Alice." He rubbed his nose against mine. "I missed you."

"Missed you too." I informed him, hugging him. "I love you."

"And I love you." Itachi replied. His gaze flicked over my shoulder and landed on Tiburon who was trying to fight off Kisame's loving assault. "He got a haircut."

"Yes he did." I nodded.

"It looks good." Itachi complimented.

I smiled. "And I'm sure he'd thank you if Kisame wasn't trying to eat him." I kissed Itachi's cheek. "Kisame, leave him alone for a minute. I need a shark hug."

Kisame grinned at me and released Tiburon who ran away from him and hid behind Sasuke and Itachi. I rolled my eyes at his antics and went to Kisame to greet him while Itachi took advantage of Tiburon's close proximity to torment him with affection.

We exchanged our hellos and whatnot before heading back to Sasuke's house so I could make food. Naruto, Kathryn, Sanaa, and Deidara ate with us while Sasori sat around and kept us company.

I stood behind Itachi after dinner, playing with his ponytail. "How was your mission? When did you two get here?"

Kisame looked up at me. "We got here late last night." He shrugged. "As for the mission, it went fine."

"No trouble?" I asked.

Itachi leaned back in his chair, resting his head on my chest since I was standing behind him. He looked up at me and shook his head. "None. The only difficulties we had were because our charge wanted to stop for every meal."

"Hn." I hummed, kissing his forehead.

"Hey Mom, can me, Sanaa, and Cielo go hang out around Konoha?" Tiburon asked.

I looked at Itachi before looking at him. "Yes, but be home by midnight." Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo were more than capable of looking after themselves.

"But Mom…" He paused before giving me a shocked look. "Wait, did you actually say we could?"

"Yes I did." I nodded.

He got up from his chair and walked over to me, placing his hand on my forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

I glared at him. "Get out before I change my mind."

He grinned at me before kissing my cheek and then darting out of the room. Sanaa hopped to her feet and skipped after him while Cielo got up in a more reserved fashion. He kissed my cheek through his mask, thanked me, and then followed after his teammates.

I rolled my eyes. "Kids."

**Third Person!**

Tiburon stretched languidly as he led his team down the street from the house, smirking. "It's times like these that remind me why my mom's the best."

Cielo rolled his eyes. "Just because Alice is protective and possessive does not make her any less of an amazing mother. You should be grateful."

"I am." Tiburon frowned. "I love Mom. But she's still nuts."

"The apple has not fallen too far from the tree." Cielo said stiffly, his blue eyes flicking to Tiburon with amusement in them.

Said Uchiha glared. "Shut up, Cielo."

Sanaa giggled and skipped up between her friends, grabbing both of their hands and swinging them in hers. "Let's go do something fun."

"Like what?" Cielo asked. He had more patience for Sanaa's strangeness than anyone. He had just as much tolerance for Sanaa as Sasori did.

"Do you guys want to find Kōri and the others?" Sanaa suggested with an excited smile on her face. "It's been a while since we've seen them."

Tiburon shrugged. "Sounds fun. Let's look for them."

"I'll do it!" Sanaa chirped happily. She released Tiburon and Cielo's hands before slapping her palms on the ground. Both boys felt her chakra shoot into the dirt and they watched her close her eyes in concentration. A moment later, she jumped up. "Found them!"

"Good work." Tiburon praised, rumpling her hair. "Lead the way."

"Kay!" She smiled, skipping ahead of her male teammates. Cielo and Tiburon followed after her, amused by her exuberance.

About fifteen minutes later, the trio came across a very animated discussion between Keru and Kōri. Kōri insisted that being well rounded was more important than being devoted to just one area of combat. Keru was dead set on his opinion that succeeding in one area and being alright in the others was better than being average in all areas with no outstanding skills.

Keru opened his mouth to add to his argument when he noticed the approaching Chūnin. "Ah! Tiburon, Sanaa, Cielo!"

Tiburon waved lazily while Sanaa greeted him loudly. Cielo just dipped his head, blinking when Sanaa glomped Kōri as they reached the two Konoha Shinobi.

"Hi Kōri!" She smiled.

Kōri caught her with skill and patted her head, flashing her a smile. "Hello Sanaa. You're looking lovely today."

Tiburon and Cielo both narrowed their eyes possessively.

Sanaa blushed. "Oh quit." She swatted him playfully. "What are you and Keru talking about?" She turned around, feeling the glares of her teammates. "Don't be mean!"

Tiburon and Cielo looked away innocently.

"Nothing important." Kōri said dismissively. "Keru is just trying to make excuses for his lack of Ninjutsu training because I bested him."

Tiburon looked at Keru who was huffing. "Training in all areas is important, Keru. Just because Lee doesn't train in Ninjutsu doesn't mean it's not important. Trust me, if Lee could use jutsu, he'd train just as hard with it as he would his Taijutsu."

Keru looked at Tiburon. "I know. But it's so taxing."

"All training should be hard if you push yourself." Cielo countered. "But it's worth it in the end." He glanced at Kōri. "Where are the rest of your teams?"

Kōri shrugged. "Kasai's mad at me or something. I don't know. Girls are complicated. And Ken is trying to soothe her."

"What did you do?" Tiburon asked.

"I told her that I preferred her hair down. She had it up today for some reason, and I like it better down because she looks more comfortable that way and she got offended." Kōri shrugged. He looked at Sanaa. "I wonder what you would look like with your hair down, Sanaa… I bet you'd look even prettier than you do now."

Sanaa shook her head. "It gets in my way when it's down."

"What about you, Keru?" Tiburon wondered. "Where're Rifu and Sen?"

"Rifu and Sen were at the park the last time I saw them." Keru shrugged. "But I sense their chakras heading this way."

"Ken and Kasai are coming this way too." Kōri announced. "Ken must have sensed your chakras." He smirked and elbowed Tiburon. "Kasai has a little bit of a crush on you." He looked at Cielo. "She's infatuated with you too, Cielo."

Cielo sighed.

"So does Rifu." Keru added. "Though, she's terrified of Cielo still."

Cielo chuckled. "Alice will not be pleased."

"What my mom doesn't know won't hurt her." Tiburon said dismissively. "As long as you don't tell her."

"Not a word, my friend." Cielo smirked. "Not a word. I'm not much of a masochist and telling Alice would result in my suffering as well."

"Not a word about what?" Ken asked as he dropped down from a tree. Kasai was beside him, her hair down now. He walked over to his teammate and narrowed his eyes. "Kasai can wear her hair however she'd like."

Kōri rolled his eyes. "I never told her to take it down. I just think she looks more comfortable with it down. When it's up, I feel like she's getting ready to attack me."

"I've considered it." Kasai said coldly. "Hi Sanaa."

Sanaa smiled at Kasai. "Hi!"

Kasai switched her attention to the male Chūnin. "Hi Tiburon, hello Cielo."

Cielo dipped his head politely.

"Sup?" Tiburon grunted. He raised his eyebrow. "Is there anything to do around here other than train?"

Kōri smirked. "Lots of things, but most of them will probably get us into trouble."

Tiburon grinned. "Those are my favorite activities."

Cielo sighed. "I knew I would regret letting these two get together."

"Quit being a party pooper, Cielo." Tiburon said dismissively. He looked at Kōri. "What did you have in mind?"

"I've been dying to pull some pranks on my sensei." Kōri explained.

Tiburon smirked. "I have a better idea."

Cielo introduced his palm to his forehead as the two Chūnin prodigies began scheming. "Alice is going to kill us."

**First Person Alice!**

Sable barking was my alarm clock this morning. Sighing tiredly, I lifted my head off Itachi's chest to look at her. She was standing at the door, barking.

"Sable, what's wrong?" I asked tiredly. Itachi was smothering himself with a pillow trying to drown out her barking.

Sable looked around at me and jumped on the bed, licking my face. In the silence of her barking, I heard knocking.

"Someone's at the door." I announced, poking Itachi.

He opened one of his eyes to look at me. "So go see who it is."

I glared at him. "You're such an asshole when you're tired." I got up, shoving Sable off of me, before trudging to the front door. I threw it open, not bothering to hide my annoyance with whoever was at the door.

Kakashi was there, along with a number of other Shinobi. Naruto, Shikamaru, Choji, Sakura, Ino, Lee, Neji, Sai, Kiba, Hinata, Iruka, Genma, Shino, Gai, and Tenten were all there.

I stared. "If you're here for me to make you breakfast, I'll fucking kill you."

"Actually, we're here to kill your son." Kakashi corrected.

I frowned. "Why?"

"A number of reasons." Neji stated. "All of my clothing was strung about the Hyūga compound along with Hinata's."

"All of my Ramen was replaced with vegetables." Naruto pouted. "And all of my clothing was died blue. This is the only jumpsuit that survived."

Sai looked at me without humor. "They replaced my scrolls, ink, and brushes with crayons and coloring books."

"All of my weapons were replaced with squeaky toys." Tenten explained.

"They stole my books and replaced them with children stories." Kakashi growled.

"And they put Kakashi-sensei's books in my room after dying all of my things purple." Sakura informed me.

"They flipped me and Genma's apartments." Iruka informed me. "I went home last night to see all of my things were replaced with Genma's."

"They filled my room and bathroom with pesticide." Shino said sadly.

"They took my food." Choji pouted.

"They let cats loose in my clan's compound." Kiba deadpanned.

Ino crossed her arms. "They covered my house with my clothes."

"They hid alarm clocks in my ceiling. They've been going off at random intervals." Shikamaru yawned.

I raised my eyebrow. "How did you know it was my kids?"

Kakashi held up one of his books. It was covered in Spanish and English rather than Japanese. That alone proved it was Tiburon.

I sighed and looked at Gai and Lee. "What did they do to you two?"

"They hid all of my clothing, but I thought of the task of finding my clothes as a new method of training!" Lee announced.

"Good thinking Lee!" Gai praised.

"Thank you Gai-sensei!" Lee cheered.

They had their moment.

"What about you, Gai?" I asked.

Gai shrugged. "I just came along with my eternal rival."

My eyebrow twitched. "Give me a moment."

**Third Person!**

Kakashi raised his eyebrow as Alice shut the door. He cocked his head to the side. "Maybe we should have come later in the day."

"TIBURON SHISUI UCHIHA!" Alice shouted.

All of the Shinobi on the other side of the door paled.

"I think you're right Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto whispered.

"We should go…" Kiba began, wincing when a bang sounded from inside the house. "…Like now…"

And so, sixteen of Konoha's best, brightest, and strongest Shinobi hightailed it out of the Uchiha compound, eager to escape a chakraless woman's wrath.

Alice was one scary bitch.

* * *

><p><em>Tibby's antics never cease to amuse me.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **My nieces are the most annoying demon spawns on the planet.  
><em>

Answer: _Well, I don't really watch TV but I have watched a few of the game just in passing or when I was trying to shut my mom up about being antisocial. I like the horse obstacle things. And I'm a big fan of fencing and archery. Swimming is cool too._

**QotC:** _Righty or Lefty? Are you right-handed or are you left-handed?__  
><em>

Omigesh _asked me a very amusing question. I spit out my drink when I read it. She asked if I had kids, would I beat them? To be honest, no I wouldn't beat my children. I have no qualms about smacking the shit out of people when they do something they're not supposed to do so that obviously means I would certainly spank/punish my children for being rotten little shits. But I wouldn't beat them. Unless of course they were like my nieces. Then I certainly would.__  
><em>

_I suppose I should have been more specific on my answer last chapter. By Pandora, I most certainly mean the jewelry website. I'm kidding. I meant internet radio._

_I want all of you to know that I appreciate your support, kind words of praise, and you all in general more than words can do justice. You guys are the only reason I still write this because I would have just stopped after the first story.  
><em>

_Less than three you all.  
><em>

_See you  
><em>


	59. Chapter 59

_No comment._

_Here is the 59th chapter.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Kathryn!<strong>

"Kathryn."

I looked around and smiled at seeing Konan walking over to me with a small smile on her face. "Hi Konan. What's up?"

"I'm in severe need of feminine contact." Konan sighed. "Do you mind?"

"Of course not!" I said cheerfully, springing to my feet. "Let's go find Alice and Sanaa and see if they want to join us, then we'll go have a nice, relaxing, boy free day."

Konan smiled. "Good. I need to get away from Nagato before I kill him."

I laughed and grabbed her hand. "Come on."

I dragged her to the Uchiha manor and we barged inside without knocking. In the kitchen, we found Itachi talking casually with Kisame and Sasuke. "Hi guys."

They looked around and Kisame grinned at us while Sasuke Hned. Itachi dipped his head. "Hello Kathryn, hello Konan."

"Where's Alice?" I asked.

Itachi gestured behind him. "She was on the back porch the last time I saw her."

"Good." I chirped. "Come on Konan."

She laughed lightly and followed after me. We both reached the outside and I internally awed at what we found.

Alice was sitting on the porch, leaning against a wooden beam. Her eyes were closed and she had a small smile on her face. Tiburon and Cielo were with her. Tiburon was lying on his back with his head on one of Alice's thighs while Cielo occupied the other, lying on his side. Both boys were motionless besides their steady breathing. Alice was stroking both of their heads, carding her fingers gently through their hair.

Tiburon had the ghost of a smile on his face and Cielo looked more at ease than ever. They were Alice's boys and she loved them more than anything.

She was a wonderful mother.

"That's adorable." Konan said simply.

Alice blinked and looked around at us. She raised her eyebrow.

"We were going to ask you to come with us on a girls' day out." I told her. "But, you look busy."

She smiled and just leaned her head back against the beam. "Have fun."

I watched them for a second before taking a quick photo of them with my phone. I looked at Konan and smiled. "Let's go find Sanaa. Then we can begin."

Konan smiled. "Sounds good. See you, Alice."

Alice shot Konan a wink and a smile.

We walked through the house and stopped in the kitchen so I could show Itachi, Kisame, and Sasuke the picture I took. Itachi simply smiled one of his rare genuine smiles. Kisame grinned and Sasuke smirked softly.

Satisfied, Konan and I left the Uchiha manor and we discovered Sanaa fighting for her life against Dei and Danna. Danna was using his chakra strings to hold Sanaa still so Dei could tickle her.

"Mommy!" Sanaa cried between her giggles. "Save me! Help Konan, yeah!"

I laughed. "Dei! Danna! Leave Sanaa alone."

Danna smirked at me. "You want some?"

I hid behind Konan.

Danna let Sanaa go and she darted away from Deidara to hide behind Konan and I. Deidara flashed Konan and I his cocky, breathtakingly sexy grin. "Hey un."

"Hi baby." I cooed, skipping over to him. I kissed him fully and hugged him before kissing Danna's cheek. "I'm kidnapping Sanaa."

"Why?" Sanaa asked curiously, looking away from Konan who she was hugging.

"We're having a girls' day out." I informed her. "Just me, you, and Konan."

Danna raised his eyebrow. "What about Alice?"

"I haven't seen her all day, yeah." Deidara agreed.

"She's busy." I told them. "You ready to go baby girl?"

Sanaa nodded enthusiastically. "Yep!"

"Alrighty, let's go!" I decided.

Konan, Sanaa, and I left the Uchiha compound and we went straight for the cutest little tea and dango shop in all of Konoha. We needed to get something to eat and drink before I whipped out my Alice card to get us a relaxing day in the spa for free.

We sat a circular booth with Konan in the middle. She looked at Sanaa and smiled. "So, Sanaa, are there any cute boys that have caught your eye?"

Sanaa blushed and took a drink of her tea. I grinned excitedly and leaned closer. "Tell! Tell! I promise I won't tell your daddy or Danna."

Sanaa bit her lip. "There is one really cute boy. He's really, really nice to me and he's super funny." She rubbed the back of their head. "And as always, there's Tibby."

"So you _do_ like Tibby?!" I asked

"I don't know if I like him like that or not, Mom." Sanaa admitted. "I mean… sometimes I do and other times I find myself seeing him like I do Cielo. I'm confused."

Konan smiled. "I know exactly what you're going through."

"You do?" Sanaa wondered.

Konan nodded. "When I was little, the only people in my life that _really _mattered were my two best friends: Nagato and Yahiko." Her smile faded to a sad one. "I loved both of them in intimate and platonic ways. I wasn't sure which one I love more or if I considered both of them to be like my brothers. As we got older, it got harder to pick. I wasn't about to choose one over the other because I knew I loved them both, but I loved them in different ways."

Sanaa was eating up Konan's story. "So what happened?"

"Yahiko died." Konan said sadly. "And my relationship with Nagato changed as pain and mourning changed us both." She winked at Sanaa. "I still love Yahiko with all of my heart, but I guess I have grown to love Nagato more."

"Wait…" Sanaa stated, sitting up. "I thought you loved Pein-sama."

"Nagato is Pein-sama's real name, Princess." I told Sanaa with a grin.

Sanaa gawked. "Really?!"

"Yep." Konan confirmed.

"Hey!" I said suddenly.

"What?" They asked in unison.

I smirked. "Let's go get pampered."

Konan smiled. "I'm down."

"Yay!" Sanaa cheered, jumping to her feet excitedly.

And so we went.

**Third Person!**

Kathryn sighed as she relaxed into the hot springs. "This is what we need."

Sanaa giggled. "How come we don't do this more often, Mom?"

"Because Alice is evil and Kakuzu is a cheapskate." Kathryn informed her.

"Alice isn't _evil_." Konan laughed. "She's just not one to relax and she's not girly."

"Also known as evil." Kathryn chimed.

Sanaa cocked her head to the side. "Icy relaxes."

"Rarely." Kathryn explained to her daughter. "Alice is really paranoid. She feels like she needs to babysit all of us constantly so she's always watching out for us."

Konan smiled. "Alice is a good person. Eccentric, but good."

"And strange as hell." Kathryn added.

"But that is why we love her." Konan giggled.

Kathryn hugged Konan. "We love you for the same reason, Konan!"

Konan splashed Kathryn. "I'm not strange!"

"Sure you are!" Kathryn corrected. "It's kind of required to be in the Akatsuki." She splashed Sanaa. "Right baby?"

Sanaa spit water at her mother. "Right!"

The hot spring employees exchanged eye rolls as loud waves of giggles and splashes sounded from the private springs.

Later on that day…

Tiburon raised his eyebrow at Sanaa who came skipping into his backyard looking refreshed. "What's up with you?"

Sanaa smiled. "Me, my mom, and Konan went out today for a girls' day out. We went to the spa and hot springs and we got pampered. For free."

Cielo blinked. "Why didn't Alice go with you?"

"She wanted to stay with you guys." Sanaa admitted. "We asked her to go but she declined."

"Hn." Tiburon grunted. "Now that you're here, let's go find the others."

"For what?" Sanaa asked.

Tiburon shrugged. "Something to do." He stuck his head inside the house after getting up. "Hey mom, can Cielo, Sanaa, and I go roam around the village?"

"Be good and come home by dark!" Alice called back.

"Kay!" He replied. He looked at his teammates. "Let's go."

Together, the three members of Team Sasuke traveled through the village in the direction of a the massing chakras of their friends before they finally found them.

"Oh hey guys!" Keru greeted. "We were wondering when you would get here."

Tiburon shrugged. "What are we doing?"

"Our sensei and their friends are all gathering together for some weird reunion thing. We're going to see if we can mooch off of their success and have them pay for our lunch." Kōri explained.

"Sounds fun." Tiburon grinned.

"Sasuke will pay for us anyways." Cielo pointed out. "And that is _if_ he has to pay. He might pull out the Alice card."

"That's what my mom did today." Sanaa chirped. "It worked like a charm."

"We'll let's go." Ken decided.

The nine Chūnin set off for the village and the giant restaurant their mentors resided in.

Inside…

Sasuke blinked and looked around.

"What is it, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked from his left.

Sasuke frowned. "The kids are heading this way. I wonder why?"

Naruto blinked. "Kids? What kids?"

"Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo for one." Sasuke stated. "I sense others with them."

Shikamaru sighed. "Probably my kids. They've all gotten rather close."

Lee nodded enthusiastically. "Their youthfulness brings them together! My team included."

Neji smirked at Sasuke from across the table. "My cousin has a bit of a crush on Tiburon."

"Kasai does too." Shikamaru stated. "She won't stop talking about him and Cielo. It's so troublesome."

Ino grinned. "Oh that's so sweet. Do you guys remember how freaking adorable Tibby and Sanaa were when they were little? They were so cute."

"What do you mean were?" A scoff sounded.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Tiburon."

Tiburon grinned at his uncle. "Hey Sasuke."

"It's so weird to see an Uchiha with such an outgoing attitude." Shino commented.

"You can thank Alice for that." Kiba grinned. "Hey kids."

"Hi Kiba!" Sanaa said cheerfully. She glomped Naruto from behind. "Hi Naru!"

Naruto grinned and twisted around to hug Sanaa. "Hey Sanaa!"

Tiburon squeezed in between his uncle and Naruto. "Because I'm just a nice person, I thought I'd join you and brighten your day a little."

Sasuke flipped Tiburon over. "Don't push it, brat."

Cielo smirked and sat down beside Sai who sat beside Naruto. "Hi."

"Make room everyone, the party has arrived." Kōri announced.

Shikamaru face-palmed. "Kids."

"Awe, they're cute." Tenten excused. "Let them join us. We can tell them embarrassing stories about each other."

Tiburon scoffed. "I don't have any embarrassing stories."

Sasuke smirked at Tiburon. "Do you really want to try me?"

"I'll tell them embarrassing stuff about you." Tiburon countered. "I have blackmail both from what I've seen and what my mom and dad have told me."

Sasuke huffed. "Brat."

"Oh do share." Ino said with a smirk.

"You talk, you die." Sasuke threatened.

Tiburon just gave him a cheeky grin. "Get me food and I won't."

"Fine." Sasuke grunted.

"No fun." Choji pouted.

Sanaa smiled and looked over the table as the rest of her fellow Chūnin got settled. "I miss Konoha. I wish we could stay."

"It is really unfortunate that you guys had to move." Hinata said sadly.

"Where did you guys move to?" Sai wondered.

Cielo kicked Tiburon when he made to open his mouth and spill the location of the base. "We're not supposed to tell you. Sasuke is the only one who knows where it is."

"It's near Ame. Pein is the leader of the village so it has to be decently close." Sasuke explained. "At least a three days run from here."

"That sucks." Kiba stated. "Does Alice hate it?"

"Nah. My mom loves it there." Tiburon shrugged. "All of the adults do for some reason. They're all crazy though so…"

Shikamaru smirked. "We know how crazy they are. We've seen them from both sides of the spectrum. They have been our enemies, our allies, and our friends."

"Except Alice." Lee said. "Alice has always been a friend."

"True." Sakura smiled.

Tiburon raised his eyebrow. "I don't see how you guys could find the Akatsuki scary."

"They wanted to kill me." Naruto stated.

Sanaa gasped. "What?!"

"Yeah… I'm the Ninetails Jinchūriki." Naruto explained. "The Akatsuki wanted me back when they were a criminal organization." He exchanged a look with Sasuke. "They hunted Gaara down too. And Killer Bee."

"They did manage to get Gaara though." Sakura stated. "They succeeded in killing him."

Sanaa frowned. "But Gaara's alive."

"A jutsu was used on him to bring him back to life in exchange for another's." Neji explained. "No harm done now, really."

Kasai looked at Shikamaru. "Who did it?"

"Sasori and Deidara." Tenten stated.

"My Daddy wouldn't do that." Sanaa frowned.

"He did though." Sakura stated. "Sasori tried to kill me."

Sasuke muffled Sanaa before she could protest. "You guys are taking this out of context. You do remember that Alice played a hand in all of this, right?"

They nodded.

"Alice told Gaara exactly what would happen. Gaara went with them willingly knowing full well what would happen." Sasuke soothed. "Sasori and Deidara were simply following Alice's plan. And technically, Sasori and Deidara weren't the ones who killed him. All of the Akatsuki would be responsible since it was their combined technique that extracted the beast from him." Sasuke released Sanaa. "Though, yes, if Alice would have let him, Sasori would have killed you."

Rifu shuddered. "What about the silver-haired one that swears a lot?"

"Hidan?" All of the older Shinobi asked in unison.

Rifu nodded.

Cielo gave Rifu an apologetic, guilty look.

"Hidan is a psychopath." Naruto determined.

"Hidan-oji is hilarious." Tiburon told her.

"He's harmless." Sasuke grunted.

Shikamaru scoffed. "No he isn't."

"He is when Alice keeps her leash on him." Ino excused. "He seems almost civil now."

"Key word 'almost'." Choji reiterated.

"He seems funny to me." Kōri stated.

Shikamaru glanced at him. "You've never had to fight for your life against him."

Kōri nodded. "Good point."

Keru raised his hand. "I think that tall masked one is scarier."

"Kuzu-oji is so scary when he's mad." Tiburon laughed.

"But he's really nice when he's not." Sanaa smiled.

Choji shook his head. "We'll have to agree to disagree. I've fought against Hidan and Kakuzu and they're terrifying as opponents."

Sakura nodded. "They're so powerful."

Ken glanced at Shikamaru. "Why were you fighting them, sensei?"

"They were in the Land of Fire and had killed one of my sensei's old friends for a bounty." Shikamaru explained. "When we caught them, Alice was with them and Kakuzu noticed my sensei had a higher bounty than the man they had killed before."

"And so they fought." Ino explained. "Our sensei didn't make it out alive."

"Alice warned you though, didn't she?" Sasuke asked.

Shikamaru nodded.

"Hey look!" Keru chirped. "Food!"

"Enough of this gossiping. Let's eat." Kōri decided.

"Cielo, are you going to be like Kakashi and avoid showing people your face?" Shino wondered.

Cielo shook his head and pulled down his mask. "No."

Kasai swooned.

"Put that away, you're going to scare someone off." Tiburon joked.

Cielo looked at Tiburon. "They have built up a tolerance because they have to look at your face."

"Ouch." A few of the Jōnin chuckled.

"At least I don't do girly shit like writing poetry." Tiburon stated.

"I don't sleep with a stuffed animal." Cielo countered.

Tiburon glared. "Jaws was a gift. And I do not sleep with him. His place just happens to be on my bed."

"Sure it is." Cielo said dismissively. "Pansy."

"I'll kill you, Cielo." Tiburon snarled.

Cielo gave Tiburon a bored look. "Bring it on."

"Alright you two, knock it off." Sasuke ordered.

Both boys looked away from each other pointedly.

"This is like a more innocent argument between Alice and Sasori…" Naruto mused.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and rumpled the hair of both boys. "You can tell they're both Alice's."

Tiburon and Cielo grinned. "Damn straight."

* * *

><p><em>Please excuse any typos and whatnot. I'm not in the mood to fix them.<em>

_**Fun Fact: **My cousin, who is an extreme dork and avid reader of my stories, made a fanfiction fan page for these stories. It's under Kitty Trilogy and it has an Akatsuki cloud as the profile picture with the Akatsuki as the timeline. She's making me promote it even though I think it's ridiculous.  
><em>

Answer: _I am right-handed. I can't write with my left hand to save my life, but I am rather good at throwing and stuff with my left hand._

**QotC:** _This is just a general curiosity question: How many of you have Deviantart pages/Facebooks/Youtube/etc. accounts as well as your fanfiction accounts? If you are the reviewers without fanfiction accounts, do you have accounts on the other websites?__  
><em>

_Farewell  
><em>


	60. Chapter 60

_We're at 60 chapters, sweeties. That's almost twice as much as the first story._**  
><strong>

_Enjoy. Please excuse typos/errors. Excuse at bottom.  
><em>

_I don't own Naruto. I also don't own the song "I Just Had Sex"  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

As eager as I am to find the assholes who threatened the peace we worked so hard to achieve, I'm not looking forward to having meetings with the village leaders. I've known the leader of Kusagakure for less than five minutes and I already want to kill the bastard.

Shall I regress?

There I was, walking down the street with Sable, Cielo, and Tiburon, when this man comes lumbering over to us. He was a bigger man, though I have seen much bigger. He was shorter and squat, but he was rather chubby. His fingers were beefy, his skin was shiny because of the sweat, and his chins were plentiful.

So, he waddles over to the boys and I as we're inspecting some things on a merchant's stand, and he taps Tibby on his shoulder.

Tibby, being the good little ninja he is, turns and regards the man with the respect he's due for a first encounter. Also, this man is accompanied by a heavily armed guard of Shinobi from Kusa so Tibby knows instantly that he's someone important so he's on his best behavior.

"Can I help you?" Tiburon asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Tell me, young man, where is the Hokage tower?" The man asks.

Tiburon points the massive Hokage tower that's straight down the main street of Konoha. "Directly down the street."

"The Hokage isn't in though." I told the man. "I suggest you kill some time before going to see her."

He frowned down his thick nose at me. "Shush woman. No female should speak so informally before a man of my status."

Now, for those of you who don't know me, I _hate_ being shushed. I also hate rudeness, especially when it's directed at me.

My eyebrow twitched and I crossed my arms. "Oh really?"

Tiburon and Cielo both sighed.

"Such disrespect." He grunted.

I poked his chest, ignoring the fact that his ninja guard tensed around us. "If you want respect, you need to show some, asshole. I'm _Alice_, bitch. I do what I want when I want. I don't give a shit if you're the fucking president of the United States of America. If you shush me and disrespect me, I'll shove that fancy hat of yours straight up your fucking ass and watch you waddle on back to Kusa."

He gawked at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him threateningly. "Got it, shitface?"

"Mom…" Tiburon sighed. "You're so ridiculous."

"I am not ridiculous. I'd love to see him say something like that to the fucking Hokage. She'd punch him from here to Ohio the instant his words left his lips. Just because I don't have a fancy title or wear ridiculous robes doesn't mean he can treat me like some sort of servant." I snapped.

He slapped me.

Thus my hatred of him began.

It didn't hurt at all, but it was the action itself that set me off. Like most people, I don't take kindly to being slapped in the face.

The instant his hand made contact, Tiburon and Cielo had their weapons drawn and were aiming them right at this man's neck. His guards had reacted as well and were holding their weapons in Tiburon and Cielo's direction.

Well, at least for a moment.

Apparently, the guys follow me.

Itachi was in the man's face before he could blink. Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, Sasuke, and surprisingly Zetsu and Kakashi were all there as well. Sable would have lunged at him had I not grabbed her by her collar to keep her still.

Itachi's eyes were spinning so fast I thought they would come out of his head. "I would appreciate it, sir, if you refrained from touching my wife."

"Y-You're Itachi Uchiha." The man gasped after taking in the angry Sharingan.

"Yes, I am." Itachi confirmed. "And you've managed to anger me."

He looked between me and Itachi before his eyes widened. "The Seer?"

"That would be me, Ass Hat." I nodded. "Say hello to the Akatsuki, my husband, my sons, the Copy Ninja who is a dear friend of mine, and my pet wolf. By the way, you've managed to severely piss them all off." I smiled.

He stuttered, trying to find words for a moment before he was saved.

"Why is it that whenever I leave you all alone, somehow you all manage to get into trouble?" Pein asked, sighing as he walked over to us with Konan at his side. "Get away from him. Now."

The guys reluctantly backed up and Itachi pushed me behind him possessively while the others formed a wall around me. Pein, meanwhile, walked towards the leader of Kusa. He dipped his head towards the man.

"Excuse them." He said seriously. "Their actions were merely an intimidation factor. They're just rather possessive of Alice."

"Yeah, and he fucking slapped her." Tiburon snapped. "He started insulting her because she told him the Hokage wasn't in her office."

"Tiburon." Pein soothed. "Be quiet."

Tiburon glared. Konan, meanwhile, turned the most chilling glare on Pein and Kusa's leader that I have ever seen.

It scared me.

Pein is _totally_ sleeping on the couch tonight.

The man cleared his throat. "You should teach your women more respect."

"Shut the hell up you stupid asshole." Tiburon snarled. "You should be grateful that I didn't snap your fucking neck for touching my mom."

"Tiburon, that is enough." Pein barked. "Silence."

Tiburon fell silent, crossing his arms angrily.

"I am not sure I wish to attend these meetings if the Kage are willing to let such foulmouthed women in." Kusa's leader spat. "I would rather not put my trust in the hands of a disrespectful freak."

It's a good thing Itachi's a ninja, and it's a good thing he's fast. Otherwise, Tiburon might have killed that guy.

Itachi grabbed Tiburon who made to shoot forward, and he wrapped his arm around Tiburon's waist and his chest. "Tiburon, calm yourself."

"I'll fucking show him disrespectful freak." Tiburon growled, his eyes spinning angrily.

Sasori put his hand over Tiburon's eyes. "That would not be wise, Tiburon."

Pein was pinching the bridge of his nose.

Konan still looked pissed.

I sighed. "Tiburon, it's alright. This man's just pissy because my insults are better than his are. Calm down. He's not worth your time."

Tiburon stopped struggling against Itachi and relaxed.

I pushed around Itachi and my son and met the leader of Kusa's gaze. "In your land, you might be superior to women. However, where I come from, if a man of your status was to slap a woman of mine, you'd be in prison or in a ditch after I sued your ass for everything you own and you'd probably be the bottom bitch of your fellow inmates." I crossed my arms. "And you're lucky Pein's here and I respect him. Because if not, I would have shoved your guards' weapons so far up your ass, you'd be regurgitating metal for the next fucking year."

Pein ran a hand over his face. "Thank you, Alice. That will do." He glanced at us. "Go back home."

I frowned and turned away from him. "Fine." I motioned for the others to follow me. "Come on guys."

The guys followed after me and after a moment of soothing words, Itachi managed to get Tiburon to come along willingly. Tibby walked beside me, keeping a possessive closeness around me just like Cielo, his dad, and Kisame.

"Where's Kathryn?" I asked, glancing back at Sasori and Deidara."

"She and Sanaa went out for ice cream." Sasori explained.

I smiled. "Cute." I sighed. "Will you guys calm down? I'm alright."

Hidan glared. "No one fucking touches you unless we fucking say they can, Ice."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Let's go home. I'll start dinner."

So we went home and I kicked the guys out so they would stop smothering me with their hidden emotions. As guys and Shinobi, they hated showing emotion. However, they were human and all humans have emotion no matter how hard they try to hide them.

Look at Sai.

Anyways, I was making dinner when I heard the front door open. Assuming it was Itachi, I ignored it.

I regret that.

I heard sporadic shuffling feet and I glanced over my shoulder wondering who was walking like an idiot when I got my answer.

Kathryn came dancing into the kitchen, headphones in her ears and a smile on her face. She danced over to me, plucked one of her headphones out of her ears and put it in mine.

I laughed at the song. It was "I Just Had Sex" by Lonely Island.

Laughing with me, Kathryn began singing the song and I had no choice but to join her. She helped me cut carrots and prepare the food and we danced in our spots, cooking and singing to the very amusing song.

Unfortunately, when we're together we tend to forget the world around us.

**Third Person!**

Deidara and Itachi stood in the doorway to the kitchen, their heads tilted to the side in confusion. Both of them were watching their wives, wondering what the hell was going on.

"I just had sex!" Kathryn sang.

"And it felt so good~!" Alice continued.

"A woman let me put my penis inside her!" They chorused in unison.

"What the actual fuck?"

Itachi and Deidara looked around to see Hidan looking just as confused as they were. Itachi shrugged and looked back at his wife. "We don't know either."

Deidara shuffled over a little to give Hidan some room. "They haven't noticed us yet, un."

"Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great." Alice sang. "It felt so good when I did it with my penis."

"Since when does Alice have a penis?" Kakuzu asked as he joined the trio. He looked at Itachi. "Itachi, is there something you need to tell us?"

Itachi sighed. "I think they're singing a song."

"I certainly hope so." Kisame added, walking up to stand beside Kakuzu.

"Never guess where I just came from. I had sex. If I had to describe the feeling, it was the best. When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great." Kathryn crooned.

"So now Kathryn has a penis too?" Kakuzu wondered. He looked between Itachi and Deidara. "You two have been hiding something very big from us."

Sasori sighed, slipping between the two larger members of the Akatsuki to see into the kitchen. "They're singing a song again, aren't they?"

"Yep, un." Deidara confirmed.

"I just had sex!" Kathryn and Alice sang together. "And it felt so good! A woman let me put my penis inside her! I just had sex and I'll never go back! To the not having sex ways of the past!"

All of them stared.

"Should we stop them?" Kisame asked.

"Fuck no." Hidan said, shaking his head. "This is entertaining as hell."

Sasori shook his head. "And yet it is so pathetic."

"Excellent blackmail though." Kakuzu mused.

"Oh!" Alice began. "I love this song!"

Kathryn giggled excitedly. "I do too! Let's sing it!"

"Let's." Alice decided. She danced for a second with Kathryn. "Shut up and sleep with

me. Come on why don't you sleep with me?"

Kathryn giggled. "Shut up and sleep with me. Come on uh huh and sleep with me!"

The guys gawked.

"What in the hell are they listening to?" Sasori asked.

"The fuck if I know." Hidan snickered. "But this is fucking gold."

Itachi sighed. "This is strange."

"I agree, un." Deidara stated.

Kakuzu shook his head. "They're your wives. You should expect this just as much as I do. I mean, this is Alice and Kathryn we are discussing."

Kisame nodded. "Kakuzu does have a point."

"So, what do we do?" Hidan asked.

"We let them know we're watching them." Itachi stated.

A cleared throat caught their attention and the guys looked to the other entrance to see Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa looking utterly confused.

"Dad, what the hell are they singing about?" Tiburon asked.

"A fantastic question." Cielo commented.

Sanaa raised her eyebrow staring at her mother and aunt of sorts. "Since when does Icy sing and dance?"

"Also a fantastic question." Cielo said with a nod of approval.

Itachi sighed. "Come on, Deidara."

Deidara chuckled to himself as he walked into the kitchen with Itachi. He wrapped his arms around Kathryn's waist just as Itachi curled his arms around Alice.

Kathryn looked around and beamed. "Hi Dei!"

"Hey, un." He grinned.

Alice glanced at Itachi. "Hello Itachi."

"Alice." Itachi greeted, placing a kiss to Alice's temple. "May I ask what in the world you were listening to?"

Alice snickered and glanced at a giggling Kathryn before meeting Itachi's gaze fully. "They're really funny songs from our world."

"Your world?" Tiburon asked. "What do you mean your world?"

Alice looked at him. "Well shit."

"It was only a matter of time…" Itachi mused, looking at Alice.

Sasori walked into the room, leading the other members behind him. "Hopefully they keep their mouths shut though."

He frowned. "Mom…"

Alice sighed. "I'll explain later, baby. Wait until after dinner and I'll tell you three everything."

"You done yet, Ice Bitch?" Hidan asked.

Alice nodded. "Yeah Hidan, I'm done. Come and eat guys."

**First Person Alice!**

I shook my head, feeling the curious gazes of three teenagers. Looking over the three of them, I sighed. "So, where to begin?"

Tiburon raised his hand. "What did you mean by your world?"

"Well… you see Kathryn and I aren't from this world. We actually come from a different dimension. Where we come from, this world and everyone in it are part of a TV show and a story." I closed my eyes. "I know it sounds hard to believe, but where Kathryn and I come from, there are no ninjas, no jutsu, no chakra, and no tailed beasts."

Cielo blinked. "That sounds illogical. Everything has chakra."

"I don't." I reminded him.

"Besides you. But that's because you're Alice." He said dismissively. "There can't be other worlds and dimensions. How did you get here?"

I sighed. "Well, the Akatsuki came to my world first."

"How?" Sanaa wondered.

"I'm not sure how, all I know is that it involved someone who died before you kids were born." I explained. "They were transformed into kittens and teleported to my world. I found them and took care of them. When they returned to their true forms, I provided for them while they looked for a way to return to this world. In time, they did and soon after, they summoned Kathryn and I here to live with them."

Tiburon crossed his arms. "I call bullshit."

"No cussing." I snapped, pointing at him.

He huffed.

"The reason I know so much about this world is because it was a story in my world." I explained. "I don't have the gift of foresight. I don't have any gifts unless you consider insanity a gift."

"But you're so good at predicting things." Tiburon pointed out.

"You ninjas are predictable because I know how you think and what you're like. Also, I'm very good at reading between the lines, noticing foreshadowing, and I'm good at guessing."

Sanaa raised her hand. "How come you didn't go back to your world?"

"Because I love Itachi." I explained. "And your mom loves your dad. We also love all of your uncles and your aunt Konan. Plus, if I hadn't come here, you two wouldn't be born and it's safe to assume you wouldn't be born either, Cielo."

Tiburon frowned. "Why not?"

I closed my eyes. "In the story from my world all of the Akatsuki besides Zetsu die. That's why."

Sanaa's eyes widened. "What?"

"Everyone was supposed to die in one way or another." I explained. "Because I came here and messed with fate, they didn't."

"Daddy and Sori-Danna died?" She whispered. "So do Kuzu-oji, Hidan-oji, Pein-sama, Konan, Tachi, and Kisa?

"In a story they did. They're here now, so that's what matters." I told her.

She glared. "How?"

"I shouldn't tell you." I said awkwardly.

"Icy." Sanaa pressed.

I shook my head. "Sasori would kill me."

"Why would I kill you?"

I looked around and sighed. "Speak of the Loofa sponge and he shall appear."

Sasori swatted me as he sat beside me. "I hate that name."

"Deal with it." I grinned. "It was a gift from Kathryn anyways."

He rolled his eyes.

"Why do you call him Loofa, Mom?" Tiburon asked.

I smirked. "Because before I knew who he was, he was a cat and my new pet. Kathryn named him Loofa because we couldn't think of anything else." I explained.

Sanaa glared. "Icy!"

"Sanaa, I'm not telling you." I repeated.

"Telling her what?" Sasori asked.

Sanaa looked at him. "How you died."

Sasori shook his head. "It's not important since I'm not dead."

"I wanna know who would dare hurt my Sori-Danna yeah." Sanaa snapped.

I smiled. "Awe, she's protective of you. How cute?"

"I hate you so much." Sasori growled.

"I love you too, Loofa." I chirped. "Now, who wants to know embarrassing stories about the Akatsuki from when they were little?"

Tiburon and Sanaa raised their hands. "We do!"

Cielo merely chuckled. "This ought to be good."

Distraction and topic change: Successful.

Way to go, me.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_Dani tore open her hand trying to be helpful. My idiot sister was weedeating for some extra cash and the weedeater stopped because she jammed the blades so, I turned it off for her and fixed the blades. She, ignoring the fact that I was holding onto the blades, turned it on. I almost lost my thumb. But hey, that's just how things go. For those of you who are concerned, I'm perfectly fine._

Answer: _I have a dA page, a youtube account, a Pottermore account, facebook account, fictionpress account, this account, I have an account on Wikipedia, yaoi-haven, Skype etc.  
><em>

**QotC:** _Favorite word? It could be anything so think hard. I have faith in you.__  
><em>

_Good day.  
><em>


	61. Chapter 61

_I do not own Naruto. Anymore...  
><em>

_Enjoy sweetums.  
><em>

* * *

><p>I fucking hate meetings.<p>

Not only are they boring, but this one in particular requires me to be sophisticated and collected while in the presence of an asshole. Basically, I can't tell him what a pompous, chauvinistic dick he is without pissing Pein off and sentencing myself to getting my head slammed into the table.

He's already slapped the back of my head twice.

Asshole.

Tsunade looked between me and the leader of Kusa curiously. We were glaring at each other as we had been since the last time Pein smacked me. "Uh… is there something I'm missing?"

Pein sighed and shot me a look. "Alice."

I huffed and looked away from the man who I had learned was named Jun. I glared at the table and focused on suppressing my temper.

"Pein?" Tsunade pressed.

Pein sighed. "Alice and Jun-san do not particularly like each other."

"Why not?" Gaara asked.

My attention snapped to Gaara and I made to answer but Pein cut me off by flicking my nose. "No."

"I'm not a dog, Pein." I snapped. I looked at Gaara and pointed at Jun. "He's a pompous, chauvinistic dick."

Pein introduced his palm to his face.

"And he slapped me in the face." I added.

Tsunade's eyes widened. "He did what?"

Jun gazed at me. "Obviously my attempt to put you in your place did not work."

"How about I shove my foot up your ass?" I snarled.

"Alice." Pein scolded.

I glared. "He's an asshole, Pein!"

"I don't care what he is, he's the leader of a village." Pein snapped. "Show more respect."

I glared. "I only respect people who deserve it." I pointed at Jun. "He does not."

The Raikage frowned and looked at Jun. "Do you know who that is? She is the Seer."

"She is still a woman and should not speak to men of my status so informally." Jun stated.

I glared at him. "I'll show you informal speaking you sack of shit." And off I went on a rant of insults and swear words that made the jaws of every person in there drop. When I was finished, Pein was massaging his temples as he hung his head.

"Oh… my… god…" Mei whispered. "Alice…"

"Pardon my French, Mei, Pein, A, Tsunade, Ōnoki, Gaara, Shikamaru, other leaders besides Jun." I added. "I apologize for saying such things before my elders and such young ears. Jun, drop dead."

"I don't even know what half of that meant." Ōnoki muttered.

I then got up. "So, since you people are all… well… you, I'm gonna go. You guys don't need me to discuss this stuff. Shikamaru knows everything I know." I paused when I reached the door. I looked back at Jun and narrowed my eyes. "Your bullshit attitude is going to wind up getting you a broken face, asshole. And you can bet that I will be the one delivering." I smirked. "Karma's a bitch." With that, I left the room, still irritated.

I needed to find something to either calm me down, or vent on.

Where's Hidan when you need him?

**Third Person!**

Tiburon looked up from the sandwich his father so kindly made him and raised his eyebrow at his livid mother as she entered the kitchen. She marched in, grabbed Itachi by his ponytail, and dragged him out of the room without stopping. Itachi protested pathetically the whole time.

Tiburon blinked and exchanged a look with Cielo. "What pissed her off?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." Cielo replied smoothly, offering Sable and Ash pieces of bread. "Do you wish to investigate or are you ready to go? Kōri, Keru, and their teams are waiting for us at the park."

Tiburon sighed and stood up, stretching. "Let's go. I'll find out later. My dad can handle it."

"So be it." Cielo nodded, getting up as well. "You two stay here with Alice." He said quietly, patting Sable and Ash. He looked at Tiburon. "Come on."

The boys left the Uchiha manor and walked to the street outside the estate. They waved at Sasori who was sitting on the porch. He returned the wave and knocked on the door, barking Sanaa's name.

Sanaa swung down from the roof, angling herself so she landed in front of Sasori on the deck. She pecked his cheek sweetly before darting over to Tiburon and Cielo. She shoulder bumped both boys before flashing them her signature smile.

Tiburon grinned at her while Cielo smirked under his mask and together the three of them set off towards the park.

When they arrived, Keru greeted Tiburon with a fist bump while Kōri greeted Sanaa with a hug. Cielo merely replied to the voiced greetings with polite dips of his head.

"Hey you three." Sen greeted. "What are we going to do today?"

Tiburon shrugged, casually putting himself in between Kōri and Sanaa. Cielo dipped his head with slight approval from Sanaa's other side, recognizing Tiburon's actions to be an attempt to keep Sanaa from flirtatious boys.

"Why don't we train together?" Sanaa wondered. "We can have a game of hide and seek but make it more challenging. The Uchiha district can be base."

Rifu shook her head. "We need something smaller."

"Yeah, the district would be too easy. Let's use Ichiraku's as base." Tiburon agreed. "And instead of having one seeker, three of us can be seekers while the rest of us hide and try to avoid being found."

Cielo nodded. "I agree with Tiburon. However, I think we should make this a find and capture sort of game. You're only out as a victim if you're discovered and captured. If you're found and you make it to base before you're caught, then you're safe."

"I like that idea." Keru announced. "But how do you capture someone?"

"Traditional ways such as traps." Kasai explained. "And if you land false deadly blows, like, defeating someone in a fight by putting your kunai to their throat and announcing dead."

Ken dipped his head. "That seems fair, but I think there should be a witness if you're going to perform deaths. That way no one cheats." He looked at Tiburon. "Because we all know the Uchiha hate to lose."

"You Hyūga are worse." Tiburon scoffed. "And I don't hate to lose because I don't lose."

Sanaa slipped around Tiburon to elbow Kōri. "He's getting defensive so he'll be really violent during the training."

Kōri chuckled. "How very Uchiha like…"

"Shut up Sanaa." Tiburon snapped. "I'm not getting defensive."

Cielo sighed. "Drop it you two." He looked around. "So who is it?"

"I'll be it first round." Tiburon offered.

"So will I." Kasai announced quickly, shyly shooting glances in Tiburon's direction.

Keru raised his hand. "I will be a seeker as well!"

"Good. Now that that's taken care of…" Kōri began. "You guys count to one hundred and we'll hide." He grabbed Sanaa's hand. "Come on, Sanaa."

She smiled. "Okay."

Cielo's eyebrow twitched as Sanaa and Kōri vanished. He exchanged an irritated look with Tiburon before disappearing after the two Chūnin. Ken, Rifu, and Sin took off shortly after him while the three seekers formed a circle and began to strategize.

"We need someone to guard the base. They need to be far enough to not be considered puppy guarding, but close enough to catch anyone who might escape us or run there early." Kasai explained.

Tiburon nodded. "Good idea." He rubbed his chin. "Who should that be? I can do it. I'll lay down some traps for them too and perhaps set up a Genjutsu."

Kasai shook her head. "You should lay down traps, but they'll expect you to be guarding the base since you're the strongest fighter of the three of us. We need to catch them by surprise."

"Yeah, but all that really matters is keeping them off of base." Tiburon excused.

"You'd be better at tracking their chakra to find their hiding places." Kasai explained. "And you're pretty sneaky."

"I will guard the base!" Keru offered. "I am not sneaky so you and Kasai should hunt for the others stealthily, Tiburon."

"That sounds good to me." Kasai said quietly.

Tiburon shrugged. "Whatever works." He grinned at Kasai, completely missing the blush that erupted on her face. "Let's get going. I need to set up traps." He looked at Keru. "Good luck man."

They exchanged a fist bump before the three of them set off towards Ichiraku's.

* * *

><p>Kōri gave Sanaa a smirk as they walked together through the training fields that had the KIA memorial stone. Sanaa remained oblivious to Kōri's smirk as she looked over all the flowers blooming in the outskirts of the field.<p>

She stopped walking abruptly and poked the petals of a blue flower. "Flowers are so pretty. I understand why Zetsu likes them so much."

Inspired, Kōri picked one of the blue flowers and put it in Sanaa's hair. "Flowers are pretty." He agreed. "But you're prettier."

Sanaa smiled at him, smothering her blush with her bright smile. "Thanks Kōri!"

"You are most welcome." He chuckled. "You're only proving my statement when you smile like that." He extended his hand. "Come on. We should go and find a good hiding spot."

"Okay." She chirped. She accepted Kōri's hand before dragging him along towards the woods, giggling all the way.

* * *

><p>Cielo made a face as he watched Kōri put a flower in Sanaa's hair and feed her a gooey line. He rolled his eyes when Sanaa soaked it up a second later. Sighing in exasperation, Cielo continued on his way. He knew Tiburon would be on the hunt for Ken and Kōri and he had no intention of being found.<p>

* * *

><p>Tiburon patted Kasai's head. "Nice job, Kasai. Done like a pro." He grinned down at Ken, missing Kasai's swooning. "Your own teammate took you out." He looked at Rifu. "And nice try, Rifu. You almost escaped."<p>

She hid her blush by glaring at Tiburon for tying her up. Ken was beside her on the ground, hogtied.

"I wish someone was here to document this." Tiburon snickered. "You look ridiculous."

"I hate you so much." Ken sighed.

Tiburon laughed and withdrew a kunai before releasing Ken. "There, drama queen. Chill. You two are out. Head to Ichiraku's and let Keru know you're out. Kasai and I have to round up Sen, Cielo, Sanaa, and Kōri."

"Good luck catching Kōri." Ken scoffed.

"Cielo will probably be the most difficult to find." Tiburon said dismissively. "All I have to do to get Sanaa is insult Sasori and she'll attack me."

Kasai smiled. "And knowing Kōri, he'll be with Sanaa."

Tiburon glared at the trees. "Let's move."

Kasai blinked with shock as Tiburon took off before recovering from his sudden mood swing and hurrying after him.

Kōri rolled his eyes with a smirk as Sanaa poked him again and erupted into giggles because of his reactions. They were hiding in a hallowed tree together and she was having a blast despite the close quarters. They were squished together in the almost darkness and she was poking him, trying to annoy him.

* * *

><p>Sanaa poked his cheek and Kōri acted like he was going to bite her. She squealed quietly and laughed, enticing a chuckle from Kōri as he adjusted his positioned to ease the pressure on his bottom.<p>

"How long do you think it will be until they find us?" Sanaa wondered.

Kōri glanced at her. "Excellent question." He shrugged. "No clue."

She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder. "At least I have someone entertaining to hide with."

"How sweet of you." Kōri chuckled. "I'm glad I amuse you. And I'm glad you're with me as well."

She smiled at him. "You're so much nicer than Tibby."

"Is he mean to you?" Kōri wondered.

She shook her head. "No. Maybe it's just because we've been around each other all our lives. Tibby's just isn't polite and he doesn't say the nice things you do. He's too much like Icy. But, he's my best friend along with Cielo. And he's a great friend."

"Well, I suppose your relationship with him is different than your relationship with me. You two are more like siblings than you and I are." Kōri shrugged. "But what about you and Cielo?"

"Cielo's really nice." Sanaa smiled. "And he's really funny. He's like a big brother to me. He's protective and sweet, but he likes to tease me and Tibby."

Kōri nodded. "Good. I guess that means I have less competition."

Sanaa raised her eyebrow. "Huh?"

Kōri made to clarify himself, but was cut off.

"Sasori no Akasuna is a pathetic excuse for an artist and a ninja and is the biggest, wimpiest sissy I have ever met in my life!"

Sanaa punched the rim of the tree in front of her, focusing chakra into her hands. The tree exploded under her blow and she shot out of it, leaving Kōri behind looking both startled and impressed.

* * *

><p>Tiburon grunted when Sanaa tackled him, laughing at her reaction. "Found you, Sanaa."<p>

"TAKE IT BACK, YEAH!" She shouted, pounding her hands on his chest. "Take it back right now, Tiburon Shisui Uchiha yeah!"

Tiburon grinned and rolled over, pinning Sanaa to the ground and grabbing her hands to keep her from punching him. "Calm down Sanaa. I was teasing."

She glared. "Say you're sorry!"

"Relax." He chuckled. "I love Sori-Danna. I only said that stuff to make you come out of your hiding spot."

Sanaa blinked, ceasing her fighting. "Really?"

"Yep. Sori-Danna's an awesome ninja and I know how awesome he is." Tiburon soothed. "It was a trick."

She pouted. "Meanie."

He rolled his eyes before holding a kunai to Sanaa's neck. "Dead."

Sanaa's pout deepened. "So mean, Tibby."

"I know." He got off of her and helped her up before frowning at her. "And by the way, don't call me Tiburon. It sounds weird when you say it. Never address me by my full name either. My mom's the only one who does that and I was a little afraid when you said it."

"Come on out, Kōri." Kasai called.

Kōri dropped down from the tree and lifted his eyebrow. "Am I going to be it if I let you guys catch me?"

"No." Kasai told him. "Tiburon and I already caught Rifu and Ken. And Keru captured Sen so you and Sanaa are good."

"Well then, I won't put up a fight." Kōri said boredly.

Tiburon looked around at him from pulling some leaves and twigs out of Sanaa's hair. "You're so much like Kakashi it's kind of scary."

Kōri shrugged.

"So, have you guys found Cielo yet?" Sanaa wondered.

"No." Kasai stated. She looked around at Tiburon. "Any idea where he might…"

She was cut off when suddenly, a black blur tackled Tiburon from the shadows of a thicket. Tiburon grunted under the attack and he quickly retaliated. He managed to escape being pinned down and he launched a fireball at his attacker.

"Cielo!" Sanaa gasped.

Cielo dodged Tiburon's attack and retaliated with his own water jutsu. When Tiburon evaded his jutsu, Cielo rushed him and engaged him in a battle of Taijutsu.

"Who do you think will win?" Kōri wondered.

Sanaa bit her lip. "Guys! Stop!"

Kasai raised her eyebrow. "They're just sparring. What's the big deal?"

"Tiburon and Cielo are unstoppable when they get started." Sanaa explained. "That's why whenever they spar, Tachi, Kisa, or Sasuke insist on being around. The lake near our base is twice as big as it used to be because of one of their sparring matches."

Kōri blinked. "I see the problem." He crossed his arms. "So how do we stop them?"

Sanaa rubbed her chin before smirking. "We get Icy."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>My brother turned 20 yesterday._

Answer: _Probably shit, indubitably, or moron._

**QotC:** _What's the worst injury you've ever had?_

_Nothing to talk about today, lovelies. Hope you enjoyed the shorter chapter.  
><em>

_Bye.  
><em>


	62. Chapter 62

_Here is the 62 chapter. Enjoy, my dear readers._**  
><strong>

_I do not own Naruto  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

I sighed as I leaned back against one of the beams holding up the awning to the back porch of the Uchiha manor. Sable and Ash were sprawled out around me, using my legs as pillows. Itachi sat beside me, meditating.

"Are you still upset?" He asked, opening his eyes to look at me.

I shrugged. "I don't know." I glanced at him. "Sorry for disturbing you, babe."

"You did not." He soothed. "I sense approaching chakras. Sanaa is among them, but Cielo and Tiburon are not."

I frowned. "Huh."

A moment later, Sanaa jumped over the fence along with the mini-Kakashi and Kasai, Asuma and Kurenai's daughter.

"Hey kids." I greeted. "What's up?"

Sanaa jogged over to me. "Cielo and Tibby are fighting. They won't stop."

I sighed. "Again?"

"Why do I feel like this happens a lot?" Kōri mused.

"Because it probably does." Kasai told him. "Cielo and Tiburon are weird."

I patted her head. "They get it from me. They have an excuse." I looked at my husband. "Itachi"

Itachi stood smoothly and offered me his hand. I accepted it and he pulled me to my feet before picking me up bridal style. "Lead the way, you three."

"Kay!" Sanaa chirped.

Itachi shot after the kids, being sure to take it easy so he didn't outrun them so he could follow them. They led us to the thick woods on the outskirts of Konoha near the training fields and the KIA memorial stone.

Well, what was left of the training fields…

Tiburon and Cielo were standing inches from each other, kunai in their hands as they held each other off. Tiburon was smirking and I could tell Cielo was too beneath his mask. They had pretty much destroyed the training grounds and they both looked tattered and worn out.

There were indents in the ground, barren and charred spots, broken and burnt trees, and occasionally there would be little fires still burning along with a pool sized puddle of water in one of the larger indents in the ground.

"Tiburon Shisui Uchiha and Cielo Oscuro!" I barked when Itachi set me down. "That's enough!"

Both of them froze instantly and wheeled around to face me. They took in my glare, and the fact that my hands were on my hips before paling slightly. They glanced down at the kunai in their hands before hiding their weapons behind their backs.

"Hi Alice/Mom." They said in unison.

I smirked at them. "I love using your full names."

Tiburon scowled. "Mom."

"Don't give me that look." I said dismissively. "You two should know better than to spar without someone to stop you. The rivalry between you two is far too much like Sasuke and Naruto's."

Itachi cocked his head to the side. "What started this?"

"We were playing hide and seek and Cielo attacked me." Tiburon explained.

Cielo sniffed. "In my defense, it was the purpose of our training to practice in stealth, evasion, and combat."

"You two are crazy." Kōri informed them. He elbowed Sanaa. "Aren't they, Sanaa?"

She nodded. "Yep."

Tiburon shot him a glare but occupied himself with putting away his kunai instead of replying. Cielo simply ignored him.

"So what now?" Kasai asked.

"I'm hungry." Tiburon announced.

I looked at my phone before shrugging. "What the hell. Tibby, round up your friends. I'll make dinner. Itachi, will you send word for Sasuke and Kisame to come home? Sanaa, you're welcome to eat with us too."

"Cool." Tiburon stated. "Come on guys. Let's go get Keru and the others."

I sighed when the kids took off and looked at Itachi, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. "Come on, babe."

Itachi allowed me to drag him back to the village where I stopped by the market to get a few more things for dinner.

Just after I paid for my stuff and Itachi and I left the stall, I noticed Jun standing at the end of the street, watching me with a sour look on his face. Still fed up with him, I had all intentions of ignoring him. However, once I reached him to walk by him, his hand shot out and grabbed mine.

Itachi was on the defensive in seconds.

"Calm down, Itachi." I soothed. "It's alright." I pulled my hand from Jun's grasp and raised my eyebrow at him. "What do you want?"

Jun sniffed and looked down at me. "I believe I owe you an apology."

I blinked, surprised. "Oh?"

"Indeed." He sighed. "The Kage insisted that I apologize for my actions."

"Oh, so you're essentially being forced into this?" I nodded. "And you don't mean any of it?"

"I think the point here is that I am trying." He stated.

I scoffed. "If you think saying sorry because you're being forced to is going to make me think better of you, than you're stupider than I thought."

He glared at me. "You insolent bitch."

"Oh wow." I feigned amazement with so much sarcasm it would smother Sasori. "You know a big word! I am so proud of you."

Furious, he raised his hand to hit me once again, but I expected his actions. I drew back my fist and punched him square in his face." When he doubled over to stop the blood that burst from his nose, I looked down at him.

"So sorry to hear that the Karma cake you baked yourself doesn't taste as delicious as you expected. Perhaps a nice, cold glass of 'I fucking told you so' will help wash it down." I snapped. I patted his head. "Next time, think about who you're dealing with."

Itachi gawked at me as I continued to pull him down the street. When the Uchiha district came into sight, he finally broke out of his trance. "Alice?"

"And it speaks." I stated, glancing back at him. "Nice of you to rejoin the living, Itachi."

He stopped in the street and pulled me around so he could look in my eyes. He put his hands on either side of my face. "I'm going to postpone lecturing you about hitting someone who is essentially royalty because that was… sexy."

I laughed. "Well thanks." I sighed. "I'm going to get it from Pein later."

Itachi kissed my forehead. "I will vouch for you."

"Thanks babe." I smiled. I tugged on his hand. "Come on. I have to make dinner for a bunch of teenage brats."

He chuckled. "Sounds… tiring."

I rolled my eyes. "I can't wait."

When I got home, I quickly made dinner and with Itachi's help, we moved the majority of the abundance of food into the actual dining room which could hold like twenty people. Kisame, Itachi, Sasuke, and I would be eating dinner in the kitchen while the kids had some time to be… kids.

Kisame and Sasuke appeared seconds after I called for them and Itachi joined them a moment later. I waited a moment before calling for the kids again and frowned, wondering what was taking Tiburon and the others so long. That's when I heard laughter coming from the backyard. Curious, I walked out there to see the kids being… strange.

Sanaa was doing a handstand for some apparent reason while Cielo and Tiburon were balancing stuff on her feet. Meanwhile, the other kids were throwing rocks at the things on Sanaa's feet to knock them off. Tiburon and Cielo were forced to defend their towers.

"What the hell are all of you doing?" I asked.

"Playing a game." They all responded without even looking at me.

"Well no shit." I scoffed. I walked further out of the house and inspected the game going on. "You kids aren't doing it right."

Kōri raised his eyebrow at me. "How so."

"You have to take out the base." I informed them. "If you knock out the base, the rest of the structure will fall." I smirked and walked towards Sanaa. "Watch."

Sanaa burst into laughter when I started tickling her and she fell out of her handstand, trying to fight me off. "Icy! Quit it!"

I smirked and released her, pulling her to her feet. I gestured at Tiburon and Cielo who were pouting at their fallen towers. "See? Looks like I win."

"Isn't that cheating?" Keru wondered.

I rolled my eyes. "You kids are ninjas. You're allowed to cheat. You guys have to do whatever you can to win. Just don't get caught doing it."

Kōri stared at me. "Are you sure you're not a ninja?"

"I'm sure." I assured him. "I'm just that badass."

Sanaa giggled.

"So, let's go inside. I made dinner." I concluded. "And you better hurry before Kisame and Sasuke eat it all."

Tiburon and Cielo shot inside knowingly while the others trailed rather slowly after them. Sanaa skipped along beside me while I brought up the rear.

"You kids get to eat in here." I announced from the door. "Us adults are eating in the kitchen."

"Hey! No kid tables!" Tiburon protested.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

He coughed. "I was just kidding, Mom."

"That's what I thought." I stated. I kissed Sanaa's head. "Enjoy the food. If you need anything else, just come to the kitchen for me or ask Tiburon and Cielo."

With that, I departed.

**Third Person!**

"Your mom seems really nice." Kasai pointed out, looking at Tiburon.

"She seems cool as hell." Sen added.

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "She is really cool, but she's nuts."

Cielo shot Tiburon a glare. "Alice is a wonderful mother. You are unappreciative."

"Shut up, Cielo." Tiburon snapped. "I love my mom. I just know she's crazy."

Sanaa smiled. "Icy is kind of crazy, Cielo."

"I'm aware." Cielo said with a small smirk.

"I think we're all aware of how crazy she is." Ken stated. "She did kind of go off on a crowd of people who were following her around trying to get her predictions on the Chūnin exams. She closed down the market for two days because she was that angry."

Rifu smiled a bit. "I forgot about that."

"Didn't she kill the Otokage?" Kasai asked, looking at Sanaa and Tiburon.

Both of them nodded. "Yep."

"I heard that she was the cause of the Akatsuki destroying Konoha like… 13 or 14 years ago." Kōri mused.

Sanaa raised her eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

"This was before the Alliance and the Akatsuki were the biggest threat of all of the five hidden villages." Ken explained. "Apparently, Konoha sought Alice's abilities and kidnapped her. The Akatsuki retaliated after some time to free her." He shrugged. "Neji told me about it."

Rifu nodded. "Neji was a member of the team that kidnapped her."

Sanaa blinked. "I didn't know that."

"I did." Tiburon shrugged. "My mom has scars from her imprisonment in Konoha everywhere. That's why all of the guys pretty much foam at the mouth when they see Ibiki too. He was in charge of her torture seeing as he is the commanding officer of the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force."

Sanaa gawked. "She was tortured?"

"Yeah." Tiburon nodded. "She doesn't care though. I mean look at her. She's still best friends with the people that issued her torture and imprisonment."

"Your mom must be like a saint or something." Keru stated.

Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa stared at him like he was insane.

"What?" He asked.

Kōri smirked. "Were you not paying attention after the second exam? She cut that Hidan guy's head off."

"Yeah, but look at how forgiving she is." Keru pointed out.

Tiburon shook his head. "My mom is not a saint. She's just extremely apathetic and indifferent."

"What about me not being a saint?"

Sanaa waved. "Hi Icy."

**First Person Alice!**

I smiled at her before setting some dessert on the table. Tiburon eyed it with a bit of drool. "Hi Sanaa. Here is some desert for after dinner, kids." I patted her head as I looked over the table. "Now why am I a saint?"

"Because you are such a forgiving person." Keru explained.

I smirked at him. "You'd be surprised, kid. What makes you say I'm forgiving?"

"You forgave Konoha for torturing you." Kasai stated.

"I forgave Konoha for multiple reasons." I said, looking at Kasai with a sad smile. "I forgave them because I love Konoha. I knew about pretty much everyone in the village for years before they knew me because of my 'ability'. Not to mention, the Akatsuki pretty much handed their asses back to them when they came to get me."

"But still." Keru pressed.

I sighed. "I also may have helped the Akatsuki against Konoha a few times and forgiving them, and helping them was my way of apologizing. Though, some things I condoned cannot be excused." I looked at Kasai. "Your father, for example."

Kasai raised her eyebrow. "You knew my dad?"

"Very well, actually. He didn't know me that well, but I knew him. You look a lot like him." I pointed out, rubbing the back of my neck. "Unfortunately, one of the flaws of my ability is the fact that I see the future. I knew your father was going to die years before it actually happened. Unfortunately, I couldn't prevent it from happening without upsetting the future events."

She frowned. "Shikamaru told me that you tried to warn them about it."

"I did." I admitted. "But, I feel like I could have done more."

"What's done is done." Kasai stated.

I smiled at her. "I see you've been spending a lot of time with Shikamaru. He's rubbing off on you."

She just smiled in return.

"So," I began, "do you kids need anything?"

"No." Cielo stated when everyone else shook their heads. "Thank you though, Alice."

I kissed the top of Cielo's head. "Of course, sweetie."

"Icy?" Sanaa began.

"What?" I wondered.

"When are we going back home?" She asked.

I shrugged. "I don't have a clue, Sanaa. Ask Pein the next time you see him. He should know." I coughed. "I may or may not be alive though."

Tiburon raised his eyebrow at me. "What does that mean?"

"I punched Jun in the face and probably broke his nose." I said quickly.

Tiburon grinned. "Good."

"And you fucking call me a terrible fucking role model."

I glanced over my shoulder and smiled. "Hi Hidan. What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking to see if you have any more fucking food." He grunted. He raised his eyebrow, his gaze fixed on Rifu who was gawking at him. "The fuck are you looking at you little shit?!"

I smacked him. "Shut up. Don't use profanity in front of the kids."

"I'll use whatever the fuck I want, Bitch." Hidan snapped. He pointed at Rifu who whimpered under his glare. "Why the hell are you staring at me?"

"Out." I ordered. "Go to the kitchen or I won't give you anything." I shooed him away. "Leave the poor girl alone. I don't blame her for staring at you. You're an eyesore."

He stepped closer to tower over me, acting like he was going to hurt me or something. I just stared at him, unaffected. However, all of the kids minus Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa paled.

I stared at him. "You don't scare me, Hidan. Touch me, and you'll be eating kunai, shuriken, and Samehada for the next fifty years."

He huffed and left, storming towards the kitchen. I shook my head and looked at the kids. "Don't be afraid of him. His bark is worse than his bite. And he's not allowed to hurt any of you."

"He's… charming." Kōri mused.

"Hidan-oji just likes to mess with Icy." Sanaa informed him. "He's actually really nice."

Kōri smirked at her. "He seems like it."

Rifu shivered and Cielo sent her an apologetic glance.

She was still scared of him because of the images Cielo fed her of him during the Chūnin exams.

I made to comment but stopped when something interrupted me.

The front door slammed. "Alice!"

I paled at the angry shout of the man I did not want to see. "Shit."

"You have thirty seconds to come here, before I come looking for you!" Pein roared.

I kissed Tiburon, Cielo, and Sanaa before hurrying out of the room, fully intending on running for my life. After all, Pein couldn't find me by searching for my chakra.

**Third Person!**

"What just happened?" Kōri asked, looking after Alice.

"Alice is avoiding punishment from Pein-sama." Cielo explained. He set his chopsticks down and got up. "I'm finished. Is anyone else done, because I'm taking my dishes to the kitchen?"

Tiburon got up, grabbing his own plate. "I'll help. I need to talk to my dad for a minute anyways."

"I can help." Kasai offered. She got up, taking Kōri and Ken's offered plates while Tiburon took Sanaa's, Keru's and Rifu's. Cielo took Sen's.

"Let's go back outside." Sanaa offered, looking at the others. They agreed and followed after her.

The three other Chūnin carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen where Itachi, Kisame, Sasuke, Hidan, Pein, and Zetsu were sitting.

"Tiburon." Pein addressed when Tiburon came into the room. "Have you seen your mother?"

Tiburon nodded. "Yeah. When you shouted for her, she took off."

Pein sighed. "She is more trouble than she is worth."

"I don't fucking see why you're so pissed, Leader. That asshole fucking deserved it." Hidan stated.

"Alice is an adult, my advisor, and the Akatsuki's ambassador. She should not act like an immature child." Pein stated. "She needs to show more restraint."

"Jun made to hit her first, Leader-sama." Itachi explained. "I saw him draw back his hand to strike her. Alice, however, foresaw his actions and struck first. Had she not, I probably would have."

Pein pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tiburon, Cielo, please do not cause me as much trouble as the rest of these morons do."

Cielo smirked. "I'll try."

Tiburon shot Pein a smirk as he took the dishes in Kasai's hand and put them in the sink. "No promises."

Sanaa smiled as she sat beside Kōri on the back porch of the Uchiha manor. Keru, Rifu Ken, and Sen were discussing previous missions together a few feet away. Sanaa kicked her feet back and forth, enjoying the breeze and the nice weather.

"Sanaa." Kōri began, bumping his shoulder against Sanaa.

"Hmm?" She wondered, looking at him and cocking her head to the side.

He smiled at her for a moment before looking over the backyard. "I'm not one for beating around the bush, so I'm just going to come out and say it."

Sanaa raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Say what?"

"I like you." Kōri told her. "A lot. And I want you to be my girlfriend."

Sanaa gawked. "Really?"

"Yep." Kōri nodded. He looked back at her. "What do you say?"

She was quiet for a moment before throwing her arms around him. "Okay! I like you a lot too, Kōri." She paused and pulled away from him slightly, her arms still around his neck. "But… I live far away. We wouldn't be able to see each other very often."

Kōri shrugged. "That's alright. We can make it work."

She smiled. "Alright. You can't tell anyone though. My dad and Sori-Danna are really… protective and possessive."

"My lips are sealed." Kōri assured her.

"Hey Sanaa, Dei and Sori-Danna are looking for you." Tiburon called as he exited the house. He raised his eyebrow when Kōri and Sanaa suddenly jumped away from each other.

Cielo frowned at his side.

"Where are they?" Sanaa asked.

Tiburon and Cielo continued to stare. "What's going on?"

Sanaa rubbed the back of her neck. "Kōri… asked me to be his girlfriend…"

Tiburon and Cielo both glared.

Kōri smirked. "Sup?"

Tiburon stomped over to Kōri and grabbed the front of his shirt, jerking him closer. "You hurt her, and I swear to Jashin I will slaughter you."

Cielo stepped up beside Tiburon and crossed his arms, glaring at Kōri. "I second Tiburon." He looked at Sanaa. "If he ever makes you anything other than perfectly happy, he dies."

Sanaa smiled. "Fair enough." She pulled Tiburon and Cielo away from Kōri and hugged them. "You guys are the best."

Tiburon huffed. "Girls."

"Just…" Sanaa began, "promise not to tell?"

Tiburon and Cielo exchanged a look, both imagining the chaos the fact that Sanaa had a boyfriend could wreck. They both shivered and nodded. "Deal."

* * *

><p><em>Well now... This is just totally unexpected...<em>

_**Fun Fact: **Writing is a total bitch with an injured hand. I basically did all of this with one fucking hand.  
><em>

Answer: _I've had _a lot _of injuries throughout the years. I've sprained my neck, broken each limb, each of my fingers, my nose, my jaw, all of my toes, my ankles, and I've dislocated both of my knees and my shoulder. I've had a number of surgeries and I've cut open my head, my hands, and my leg. I've also gotten the side of my head/face bitten and bloodied by a giant Rottweiler. I'm not entirely sure which one was the most severe since I don't remember all of them, but I'd have to say the worst recovery was for my broken leg since I broke one leg and dislocated my knee on the other leg at the same time. That, or my shoulder which still hasn't healed and probably never will without a shit ton of money on surgery.__  
><em>

**QotC:** _If you could have one of the Konoha 11 as your sensei, who would you chose to be your sensei and why?_

_Don't worry. Sanaa and Kōri won't last forever, sweeties._

Shadow-Wolf-Hikar, _I have used that question before:) But thank you very much for the suggestion and being thoughtful._

_Also, you all are incredible. We have 1,400+ reviews and that's just awesome. Each and every one of you are amazing.  
><em>

_Well, that is it for now, lovelies.  
><em>

_See ya.  
><em>


	63. Chapter 63

_Finally all moved in and settled up at OSU._

_Enjoy, lovelies.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Cielo raised his eyebrow curiously at Tiburon who seemed to have developed a syndrome that constantly made his right eye twitch with irritation. "What's up with you?"<p>

"Kōri." Tiburon snarled. "That smug bastard is hogging _our_ Sanaa."

Cielo rested his chin on his palm as he watched Tiburon from across the table. "You basically gave your consent to this when you didn't fight their relationship from the start."

"Shut up Cielo." Tiburon pouted.

"You should have expected this. Sanaa is a very, very pretty girl and her personality is amazing. She is going to attract guys like bears to honey, Tiburon." Cielo reminded him.

Tiburon glared at him. "Why are you so indifferent about this?"

"Trust me, Tiburon. I've been plotting Kōri's death since he first told Sanaa she was pretty." Cielo deadpanned.

Tiburon raised his eyebrow. "What do you have in mind?"

"Let's go somewhere more private." Cielo concluded. Tiburon grinned at the malice in Cielo's voice and both boys shot from the room.

* * *

><p>Sanaa smiled brightly as Kōri grabbed her hand as they walked through the park together. She pulled him closer before swinging their hands back and forth between them. Kōri chuckled at her childish antics but he condoned them.<p>

After all, Sanaa's smile was breathtaking enough to be a distraction for anything.

"Hey Kōri!" A voice called.

Kōri looked around and he waved lazily with his free hand at his female teammate. "Hey Kasai. What's up?"

"Hi Sanaa." Kasai said with a small smile. When she received a greeting from Sanaa, her gaze fell on the entwined hands of her teammate and the blonde Akatsuki ally. "Did I miss something?"

"I asked Sanaa out." Kōri explained.

Kasai smiled at him before throwing Sanaa a gentle smile. "Congrats. How are the boys taking it?"

"Tiburon seems to be a little sour about it because I'm spending a lot of time with Kōri at the moment." Sanaa shrugged. "Cielo seems kind of indifferent."

"What did you want, Kasai?" Kōri wondered.

"Oh, I was going to ask if you had seen Tiburon. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to watch some of the fireworks with me tonight. Apparently there is going to be a little bit of a precursor to the festival."

"Festival?" Sanaa asked, a frown dominating her face more because of Kasai's statement rather than the news of an unknown festival.

"It's a festival to celebrate the Alliance and the time of peace. It's starting tomorrow and will end in six days." Kōri informed her. "I figured you would know about that. I mean, Alice did kind of make the peace possible."

Sanaa shrugged. "We've never been in Konoha for this."

"True." Kasai nodded. "So, do you know where Tiburon is?"

"He should be in the compound. Good luck finding him though." Sanaa stated. "He tends to hide when he's sulking."

Kasai smiled. "Well, have fun you two. I'll see you later."

"See you." Kōri called after her as she began walking by them on the path, heading for the Uchiha compound. He looked down at Sanaa and raised his eyebrow. "Want to go to the festival with me?"

"Sure." She beamed, hugging him. She looked around when she heard a loud, familiar voice spilling obscenities. "Icy."

Kōri raised his eyebrow.

Sanaa grabbed his hand. "Come on."

She dragged Kōri through the park until they reached a side road. Alice was standing face to face with Sasori with Kakuzu at her side. Both Sasori and Alice looked utterly amused as they exchanged playful banter. Kakuzu looked amused, but exasperated at the same time. All three of them were carrying a number of bags filled with various goods.

"Icy!" Sanaa cheered. "Hi Sori-Danna! Hello Kuzu-oji!"

Kakuzu rumpled Sanaa's hair when she glomped him. "Hey kid."

"Hello brat." Sasori greeted, smoothing out Sanaa's hair.

Alice returned Sanaa's hug with a smile. "What are you doing sweetie?" She looked back and smiled. "Hello there Kōri. How are you?"

Kōri waved. "Good. Just wandering with Sanaa. You?"

"Tired." Alice admitted. "You brats wear me out."

"Hey Sori-Danna, what's all this about a festival I'm hearing?" Sanaa asked.

Sasori raised his eyebrow. "Festival?"

"Apparently, each year around this time, the five hidden villages and Ame hold festivals to celebrate the Alliance and the years of peace." Kakuzu grunted. "It lasts for six days, one for each village and the Akatsuki."

Alice raised her eyebrow. "Huh. I guess that's why Pein always avoids going to Konoha during this time of year. Our idiots being set loose during a time like this just screams trouble."

"Indeed." Kakuzu agreed.

"How did you know about this?" Sasori wondered, looking at Kakuzu.

"The shopkeepers were talking about all of the money they were going to gain from it. Some of them were whining about all of the prizes they would lose to the ninjas like they do every year." Kakuzu shrugged. "I simply asked about it while you and Alice were bickering about what kind of noodles she should get."

Alice shook one of her bags at Sasori. "Stupid puppet being picky when he doesn't even eat."

Sasori simply smirked at her.

"So are we gonna go?" Sanaa wondered hopefully.

Alice shrugged. "I don't see why not."

Kakuzu put his hand on Alice's head as Sanaa cheered excitedly. He watched her drag Kōri away to tell the others the exciting news for a moment before looking down at Alice seriously. "Do you realize how much money we could make if we sold your predictions during the festival?"

Alice glared at him. "Damn it Kakuzu, quit trying to pimp me out!"

Sasori chuckled at Alice's misfortune.

* * *

><p>Kasai cautiously entered the Uchiha compound, fully aware that it was a very dangerous place to be. She treaded quietly down the main road, looking around the street, hoping to catch a glimpse of something that told her where to go.<p>

Sure, she had been in the Uchiha manor before, but she had gotten there by hopping the fence once. She hadn't bothered to enter by the main entrance so she wasn't entirely sure where to go. She just hopped she knocked on the right door.

She jumped when door slammed and she darted behind a tree, eyeing the house the bang came from.

She recognized the man as Suigetsu, having seen him with Sasuke-sensei quite often. Beside him stalked a large man with bright orange hair she knew to be named Jūgo.

"What are we doing again?" Jūgo asked as he followed behind Suigetsu.

"We're going to go and make sure Alice kills Karin once and for all." Suigetsu informed him. "Karin avoids Alice like the plague nowadays, but Karin is still as big of a bitchy slut as she always has been. Since the Akatsuki are going to be here for the festival, it's the perfect chance to make them cross paths."

Jūgo sighed. "You do realize how much shit you're going to be in if they find out you were behind this."

"Alice won't care." Suigetsu admitted. "She's the one I worry about."

Jūgo paused to think about this. "Good point."

Kasai waited for them to leave the compound before she emerged from her hiding spot. She took a deep breath before starting down the street once more. She looked on either side, searching for a house that might be Tiburon's.

"Ouch!" A loud shout sounded. "Son of a fucking bitch!"

"Hold still Hidan!" A cheerful voice replied. "I just want to do your nails!"

"Fuck no!" Hidan roared. A crack sounded from the house the shouting was coming from. Kasai watched it with wide eyes. "Fuck you Dei-chan!"

"Got you, un!"

"Hold him down Dei!"

"Get the fuck off me heathens!"

"Quit being such a big baby! I'm not going to use a girly color or something! You get to pick it out. Do you want purple or pink?"

"FUCK!"

Kasai stared. "That's not the house I'm looking for." She looked down at the next house before taking a deep breath of relief when she noticed the extremely large and fuzzy form of Sable lying on the front porch with Ash curled up at her side.

Kasai slipped into the yard and looked around. "Sable?"

Sable's head lifted off of her paws and her lip lifted to reveal a set of perfectly white and very lethal teeth. The hair on her back stood up and her ears fell back.

Kasai paled. She had never considered Sable to be ferocious, but then, she had never seen Alice use her as a weapon either. Those teeth did not look very welcoming. Cautiously, Kasai backed up. She froze when she suddenly collided with something fleshy that hadn't been there seconds before.

"Hello there. **Who the hell are you, brat?** Oh don't be mean, you'll scare her. **I don't give a shit. What the hell is she doing here? **Why don't you ask her instead of being mean?"

Kasai slowly looked around and she stilled at seeing a giant man towering over encased in a Venus Flytrap. She gawked.

"Yeah, we get that a lot. **Quit staring you little shit.** Oh hush." Zetsu scolded. He bent closer to Kasai and gave her half a smile. "Sorry about him, he's cranky. You look lost. Can we help you? **Can I just eat her?** No. Now shut up."

Kasai shook out of her initial shock and backed away from Zetsu. "I-I'm Kasai Yūhi. I'm a friend of Cielo, Tiburon, and Sanaa's."

"See? She's a friend of the brats. **I still want to eat her.** Alice would skin us. **Don't care.**" Zetsu grunted.

"Have you seen Tiburon?" Kasai wondered apprehensively.

"He should be inside. We can feel his chakra. **He's with Cielo.**" Zetsu stated.

The door opened when a foot collided with it and Sable's snarling died. "What are you growling about Sable?" Cielo looked in the direction Sable was staring and he raised his eyebrow. "Kasai?"

"Hi." She said quietly.

Cielo jumped off the porch stoically and strolled over to his friend and his bicolored, adopted uncle. "Hey Zetsu. How are you?"

Zetsu rumpled Cielo's hair. "Hello Cielo. **Sup brat?** Where's Itachi?"

"He should be inside." Cielo told him. "He's with Kisame and Sasuke." When Zetsu nodded and started for the house he looked at Kasai. "Are you looking for Tiburon?"

Kasai nodded. "Yeah, is this his house?"

Cielo nodded. "Technically it's Sasuke-sensei's house but all the same." He waved her after him. "Come on in. Don't mind Sable. She won't bite."

"She was growling at me." Kasai informed him. "She looked like she wanted to eat me."

"Alice told her to watch over us for her while she went shopping with Sasori and Kakuzu." Cielo explained, stepping over a now visibly happier Sable. She would have started barking to get our attention before she'd bite you. That is, unless you ran at her."

"Who was that strange plant man?" Kasai wondered.

"That's Zetsu. He's the Akatsuki's spy and Alice's favorite babysitter since he can watch all of us at the same time without doing anything more than sticking his foot into the ground." Cielo informed her as they entered the kitchen.

"-and I think we might have scared her." Zetsu stated. He looked around with the others when Cielo and Kasai entered the room. "That's her."

"Kasai?" Sasuke asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask Tiburon something." Kasai admitted, feeling nervous under the stares of such intimidating Shinobi.

Kisame grinned at her. "If you plan on asking him anything along the lines of what I'm thinking, you might want to do it quick and then book it out of here. Alice is rather possessive of Tibby and she's on her way home."

"Kisame." Itachi scolded. "Don't assume things." He looked back at Kasai when Kisame shrugged. "Tiburon is in his bedroom. It's the fourth room on the right." He looked at Cielo. "Cielo, will you feed Sable and Ash for me, please?"

Cielo shrugged before starting towards the door. "Alright."

Kasai made to start down the hallway but stopped when a crash sounded from the hallway a second before Hidan stumbled into the kitchen with Kathryn latched onto his back. Deidara trailed after them looking utterly amused.

"**Dare we ask?**" Zetsu wondered.

"She keeps trying to fucking do my nails." Hidan snarled, throwing Kathryn off of him. She yelped and would have crashed into the floor had Zetsu not caught her.

She beamed at him before hugging him. "Thanks Zetsu!"

"No problem. **Don't mention it.**" He grunted.

Hidan cracked his neck before his eyes landed on Kasai. "Who's the brat?"

"That is Tiburon and Cielo's friend." Itachi informed him.

"The shadow bitch's student?" Hidan asked.

Sasuke nodded, taking a drink of his beverage.

Hidan shrugged before stomping to the fridge to find him something to eat. A second later, Cielo reentered the kitchen with some bags in his hand and Tiburon, who was also carrying bags, at his side.

"Hey Kasai." Tiburon smiled. "Cielo said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

Tiburon smirked at her. "Hold on. I have to help my mom with these groceries and then we can go talk. Keru wanted to hang out today so we'll talk on our way there."

"Alright." She agreed.

"I still say that the angel hair noodles are better than the elbow noodles." Alice told Sasori as they walked into the kitchen together.

Sasori shrugged. "I think they all look stupid. However, the food you make with the elbow noodles smells better than the weird food you make with the longer noodles."

"All of my food is amazing regardless of what kind of noodles I use." Alice scoffed. "Right guys?" She offered something to Zetsu. "Thanks for watching these idiots for me, Zetsu."

"Hn." Itachi, Cielo, Tiburon, and Sasuke agreed.

"Exactly." Kisame confirmed with a grin. Deidara and Kathryn seconded him.

"Hell yeah your food is fucking good." Hidan scoffed.

Zetsu nodded, reaching over Tiburon's head to snatch a wrapped item from Alice when she offered it to him. "Thank you, Alice. **And your food is always good. We just wish you would make some human for us.** That wouldn't be very right of us to ask her. **Whatever.**"

Alice smiled at Zetsu's obvious attempt to freak Kasai out. He was succeeding. "I'm surprised you kids aren't out with Sanaa. She's wandering around with Kōri."

Cielo and Tiburon both scowled.

"We're all meeting up later for the fireworks." Kasai informed Alice.

"Fireworks un?" Deidara repeated hopefully.

"Yes Dei, fireworks." Alice confirmed. "The festival of Allies and peace or whatever starts tomorrow night and this is just a precursor to the whole escapade."

Itachi blinked. "Interesting."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "This will be annoying. The hyperactive Shinobi always go out of their way to cause a scene. I can only imagine what it will be like with you guys there."

"Shut up Sasuke." Alice frowned. "I will cause no scene."

"I didn't mean you." He stated, throwing a look in the direction of Hidan, Deidara, Kathryn, and the kids.

Alice nodded. "Good point. Out kids. I'm making food and you are all imposing on my personal space issues."

"Go on ahead you two." Cielo told Kasai and Tiburon. "I'm going to help Alice with dinner. I'll catch up. And remember plan seven Tiburon."

"Alright." Tiburon shrugged. He kissed his mother's cheek before hugging her. He hugged Kathryn before grabbing Kasai's hand and dragging her out of the house.

Cielo was suddenly the center of attention. He raised his eyebrow at his strange family. "What?"

"What's plan seven?" Sasuke asked.

Cielo smirked beneath his mask. "Nothing."

* * *

><p>Tiburon sighed contently as he walked through Konoha with Kasai at his side. He remained seemingly oblivious to the shy and bashful glances Kasai kept shooting him. What Kasai didn't know, was that Tiburon was fully aware of all of her actions.<p>

Tiburon, wishing to tease Kasai a bit before giving her exactly what she wanted, tossed his arm over her shoulder and brought her closer. "So, Kasai, about the fireworks tonight..."

Kasai tensed.

"Wanna go with me?" Tiburon asked.

She stopped dead in her tracks before nodding adamantly.

He grinned at her when she finally managed to force out a squeaky yes and he bumped his head gently against hers. "Good." He raised his eyebrow curiously. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"The fireworks." She admitted.

"Ironic." Tiburon smirked.

"Sanaa told me you were sulking about her not being around." Kasai said quietly.

Tiburon shrugged. "We're usually always together. Cielo's mad about it too. But, we'll see how she likes it when we avoid her." He smiled at Kasai. "Want to help me avoid Sanaa? We could hang out instead."

She smiled. "Okay."

"Good." He grinned.

The kids quickly grouped up and were soon joined by Cielo who brought along some goodies, courtesy of himself and Alice. They all found a good spot to sit on top of the Hokage tower and they clustered together to enjoy the food and prepare for the fireworks.

Soon enough, they were joined by the Akatsuki, Sasuke, all of the Konoha 11, and the Kage. Everyone hushed up the booming conversations when the fireworks began. Well, everyone other than the excited blond bomber who complimented and ridiculed the various firework displays.

Eventually, he decided to join in, much to the amusement of the kids and the Akatsuki.

**First Person Alice!**

I smiled contently as Deidara tossed another bomb in the air to go and fly up in the sky before it exploded with a bright show of lights. I leaned back into Itachi and he kissed the side of my head.

I returned the gesture and watched my giant family of misfits and morons enjoy the show. "I could get used to this."

Itachi glanced at me and scoffed. "Don't hold your breath, Alice. Knowing all of these Shinobi like I do, I can guarantee that this festival will be a pain in the ass."

"Hush." I ordered. "Let me dream."

He chuckled. "So be it."

Internally, I prayed that he was wrong even though I knew he would be right.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_... My roommate and childhood friend Cierra made fun of me for like five minutes because of my severe OCD and my need to organize all of my shit by color, size, and if it has words on it I put it in alphabetical order. :(_

Answer: _Neji or Naruto. :) Potentially Kiba so I could pet a puppy all day. I love all three of them. By the way, Kakashi is not a member of the Konoha 11. Neither is Sasuke. If he was, it would be the Konoha 12._

**QotC:** _What would your idea mission be? A seduction mission? Bounty? An assassination? Espionage? D-rank bullshit? Escort mission? Rescue mission? Etc.? Only one please and why would you want that?__  
><em>


	64. Chapter 64

_Soooo..._

_I have a story thief. I would like to thank one of my very loyal readers and reviewer for pointing it out to me and letting me know.  
><em>

_Thank you dear. This chapter is for you... As half-assed as it may be.  
><em>

_Shut up. I was moving into my dorm... And this is a fucking long chapter by comparison.  
><em>

_Enjoy. :)  
><em>

* * *

><p>A knock on the door ripped Itachi and I from our nap on the couch. Tiburon and Cielo were out with their friends and I'm fairly certain Sasuke had gone out with Naruto to train. Kisame was enjoying himself elsewhere, having mentioned something about fucking with Hidan.<p>

I stretched while Itachi glared at the back of the couch over my head. I kissed his nose. "Go see who it is."

He turned his glare to me.

"Don't give me that look, Uchiha. I'll shove you off this couch." I threatened.

His grip on me tightened. "You're coming with me then."

I smiled and kissed him again. "Go get the door and I'll buy you some dango later."

"Alright." He sighed, releasing me. He got up and started for the door. I watched him go, drooling at how the muscles in his back rippled at each step. He was so fucking sexy.

**Third Person!**

Sasuke rubbed the back of his head. "Why are we knocking? This is my house."

"The door's locked." Sakura informed him with a smile.

Sasuke stuck his hands in his pockets, frowning about his lack of key. He must have left it in the kitchen earlier. He sighed and crossed his arms. "Hopefully someone is home."

"I sense Itachi's chakra." Kakashi informed him. "It was dormant but now it's not."

Sasuke froze. "What?"

"He must have been sleeping." Kakashi shrugged.

Sasuke took a tentative step back. "Please let Alice be the one answering the door."

"Why?" Naruto wondered.

"My brother is a demon straight from hell when he is woken up before he's ready to get up." Sasuke muttered. He tensed as the lock on the door clicked before it was thrown open. He paled slightly as a shirtless Itachi stood in the doorway looking extremely irritated.

"What?" He snapped.

Naruto and Kakashi took steps back while Sakura began to choke on her drool. "W-we were wondering if you and Alice were attending the festival. It's starting in two hours."

Itachi's eyes narrowed as his Sharingan whirled. "You woke me up to ask me such a foolish question?" His gaze flicked to Sasuke. "You had to knock?"

"I might have forgotten my key." Sasuke said innocently.

Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alice!"

"What?" She called through the house.

"Deal with these morons before I kill them." Itachi snarled.

A scoff sounded. "No. You do it. Quit being pissy because you're tired."

"I'll kill them." He warned her.

"Do it." She told him. "I don't care. Just hurry up because I need something to cuddle."

Itachi looked back at team seven and smirked slightly. "Now that I have her permission…"

Sasuke's eyes widened and he grabbed Naruto and Kakashi before rocketing out of his brother's range. Thankfully, Kakashi had thought ahead and grabbed Sakura and pulled her out of the range of Itachi's Katon jutsu.

"Your brother is insane!" Naruto yelped.

"No shit!" Sasuke snapped. "Itachi, you're an asshole!"

Itachi dusted his hands off. "Maybe next time you will think about disturbing me when I am sleeping, foolish little brother." He walked back into the house, slamming the door shut behind him.

Sakura blinked and looked at Sasuke. "Your brother is hot."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Don't tell Alice that. She'll rip your eyes out with a rusty spoon."

Kakashi made a face.

"She's tried to do it to Karin before." Sasuke shrugged. "Come on. Let's go find something little to eat before the festival. I'm starving." He paused when he saw Ino and a number of other girls walking towards his house. "What's going on?"

Sakura just grinned and told them she would catch up later.

**First Person Alice!**

I smiled at Itachi as he returned to the living room. "Who was it?"

"Sasuke and his team." He grunted. "They lack common sense."

I snickered and wrapped my arms around him when he returned to the couch with me. He smiled slightly and kissed my forehead gently.

"More sleep." I sighed contently.

"Hn." He agreed.

A crash sounded from the foyer and Itachi swore. "I forgot to lock the door."

"Damn it." I pouted.

"Momma!" Kathryn cheered as she ran through the house.

I waited for her to enter the living room before glaring at her. She just smiled cheekily at me. "What?" I demanded.

"Come on. We're going to find something cute for you to wear for the festival." She told me.

"I'll wear whatever the fuck I want." I told her. "I'm not wearing something 'cute' when I'll most likely be chasing after a bunch of morons and getting pissed about the general stupidity of the public."

She pouted. "But me and Sanaa are wearing cute clothes."

"Good for you." I deadpanned.

Kathryn pouted before tugging gently on Itachi's ponytail. "Don't you want to see Alice wearing something cute?"

"She looks beautiful in everything she wears." Itachi countered. "Therefore, I don't care as long as she is comfortable."

I smiled and hugged him. "Good boy."

"I thought this would happen." Kathryn grinned. She cracked her fingers before whistling.

Suddenly I was ripped off the couch and thrown over a pale shoulder while a bunch of snickering girls stood around me. Temari, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Tenten.

"Hidan! Put me down!" I protested.

"No can do, bitch." Hidan said with a smug tone.

"We have two hours to doll you up." Ino told me with a smile.

All of them suddenly froze when the temperature of the room went down thirty degrees and all of the flames in the candles vanished, throwing the house into darkness.

"Give her back. Now."

I looked towards the couch to see the familiar, livid glowing orbs of my husband. I smiled, internally pleased.

Kathryn smiled and tackled Itachi into the couch. "Run! I'll hold him off!"

Hidan didn't need to be told twice because he shot out of the house with me. Hidan stopped on the street where Deidara, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori were standing. He set me down and put me in a headlock so we could watch the house.

Kathryn came sprinting out after the rest of us a second before the door to the house erupted into flames.

"Uh oh." Kisame chuckled.

Itachi stomped out of the smoke and he glared. "You have ten seconds, Hidan."

"Kill the man with the bitch!" Hidan yelled, shoving me at Deidara.

Deidara grinned and picked me up. "Hey Alice yeah."

"Deidara, he's going to kill you." I told him.

Deidara spat out a bird and hopped on it with me before taking off. "If he can catch me, un."

I rolled my eyes. "You guys are seriously stupid." I gawked when a giant flame went racing up past the side of the bird. "Shit."

"Uh oh, un." Deidara muttered. He tightened his grip on me when the bird jerked. "That asshole Uchiha is crazy, un! He just set it on fire, yeah!"

"So it's going to explode?" I asked.

"Pretty much, un." Deidara nodded. He jumped off the bird and onto a roof of a house. He picked me up bridal style and looked back towards the pissed off Uchiha he was fleeing from only to see Itachi rocketing towards him.

"Fuck, un!" Deidara yelped.

"He's faster than all of you, moron." I sighed. Deidara grinned at something behind me and I looked around to see Sasori. I glared at Deidara as he put on a burst of speed. "Don't you fucking _dare_ throw me, Deidara."

"Sorry Alice, yeah." He smiled before launching me towards Sasori.

Sasori caught me boredly and gave me a smirk. "Hello Alice." His gaze drifted back to Deidara and he winced. "Itachi must be really irritated."

I followed his gaze and sighed when I saw Itachi digging his foot into Deidara's back with a glare on his face. Deidara was protesting loudly, but he couldn't fight off an extremely pissed Uchiha.

I sighed. "You guys are dumb. Of course he's pissed. He was sleeping."

Sasori cocked his head to the side as he considered that aspect. "Then I suppose I better stay on my toes." He looked at me as he took off towards the Uchiha compound. "You don't seem very adamant about getting out of this."

"I'm hoping you guys eat up enough time to get me out of girl time." I deadpanned. "I can't stand wearing dress clothes."

He chuckled. "Good reasoning." He span suddenly. "Nice try, Itachi."

"Sasori, I am not in the mood." Itachi stated.

"Think of it as sparring." Sasori said simply as the cord from his stomach began unraveling. "You seem to be winning. Besides, your wife is benefiting from this."

Itachi looked confused as he blocked the cord.

"This is getting her out of girl time." Sasori explained.

"I'd still rather not be manhandled by you morons." I sighed.

Itachi grabbed Sasori's cord and yanked it towards the ground, ending Sasori's attempt at escape. Sasori frowned before landing on the road of the Uchiha compound and handing me to Kakuzu who happened to be standing right beside where he landed.

Kakuzu looked at me for a moment before shrugging. "Might as well."

"Kakuzu!" I whined. "Be mature please."

He smirked at me as he picked me up. "This is more entertaining."

"Damn it." I sighed.

He and Itachi soon engaged each other over Pein and Konan's house before Kakuzu dropped me off the house towards the ground. Kisame caught me faithfully and kissed my forehead. He dodged Itachi's attack and used Samehada to fend him off.

Itachi managed to break by Kisame's defense and went to stab him.

"Itachi!" I yelped, hugging Kisame's neck.

Itachi froze literally a centimeter from slicing Kisame's face open with a kunai. He stopped and took a few steps back, putting away his weapon.

Itachi narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across from Kisame. "Give her to me."

Kisame looked at me before looking back at Itachi. He did that a few more times before shrugging and setting me down. "It was fun while it lasted."

I walked over to Itachi and hugged his waist while Itachi wrapped a possessive arm over my shoulders.

"You do know this game is kill the man with the bitch, right?" Kakuzu reminded Itachi.

"Kakuzu, don't stoop to Hidan's level by calling me a bitch." I sighed, looking at Kakuzu. I paled. Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara were all walking towards us with smirks on their faces.

Itachi glared. "Don't even think about it."

Hidan cracked his knuckles and pulled his scythe off his back at the same time Deidara's hand spit out a bunch of bombs. Kisame shouldered Samehada with an evil chuckle, Kakuzu's threads began emerging from his body and Sasori grabbed one of his scrolls.

"That is quite enough."  
>I looked around at the house behind us and sighed with relief at seeing Pein standing on the steps with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.<p>

"Thank Jashin." I sighed with relief.

"You're no fucking fun, Leader." Hidan pouted, putting his scythe back.

"I love you, Pein." I said thankfully.

Itachi relaxed and eyed his fellow former criminals. "You all are just pissed I defeated you without a shirt on."

I smiled when they glared at him. "Thanks for eating up some time guys. Now I don't have to go and have the piss annoyed out of me by girls."

Kisame rumpled my hair. "No problem, Al."

"No fair!" Kathryn whined, glomping Deidara from behind. "Alice, you're mean. You let that happen, didn't you?"

"Duh." I scoffed. "If I really didn't want to be manhandled, I'd have ended it when Hidan first grabbed me."

"You do know that the festival isn't a formal one, right?" Sasori asked, looking at Kathryn.

"Yeah, I know. But I still want to dress cute." Kathryn told him. "It gives me an excuse to doll Sanaa up too."

"You look cute in everything, babe un." Deidara told her. He grinned when she squealed and showered him with kisses.

"Well I'm wearing whatever the hell I please." I shrugged. "I'm going to go take a shower and get ready. You coming, Tachi?"

"Hn." He confirmed.

I waved at the idiots behind me as Itachi and I started for home. "Be good."

Kathryn bounced. "Danna, will you get Sanaa for me and send her home? Us girls are getting ready together."

Sasori shrugged. "Fine."

"Konan! Come on!" Kathryn called.

Pein looked behind him as Konan emerged from the house behind him. She patted his cheek before following Kathryn back towards her house where a group of girls was currently massing.

I sighed. "This is going to suck."

* * *

><p>Tiburon sighed and knocked on the door to Sanaa's house. "What are you girls doing in there?! Hurry up or we're leaving you behind!"<p>

"One sec!" Kathryn called.

I rolled my eyes, half watching Ash groom his giant, bushy tail. "Come on down, Tibby. Stupid girls are stupid."

Konan's head popped out of the door. "I heard that Alice." It suddenly shut a second later.

I blinked. "Alright…"

Sasori just sighed and rolled his eyes.

Tiburon turned around and started descending the stairs of the porch to join us on the street when the door shot open. He jumped and wheeled around, a kunai in his hand as he crouched in front of me, his Sharingan whirling. Sable started snarling, instantly in defensive mode. Ash just continued grooming his tail.

"Calm down, Tibby." Sanaa giggled.

"Don't scare me like that!" He snapped, straightening up and putting his weapon away. He glared at Cielo who was chuckling. "I'll kill you Cielo."

I heard a wolf whistle as Kathryn, Sanaa, and Konan emerged from the house with the other girls.

"Damn un." Deidara said with a grin, his eyes locked on Kathryn.

"When the fuck did Konan get hot?" Hidan demanded.

Pein punched him in the side of the head without taking his eyes off Konan. I swear I saw a little blood ooze from his nose.

She was wearing a very revealing black shirt with blue rose designs and what must have been skin tight pants. Basically she looked super sexy.

Yeah, Konan's adorable.

She just walked down the steps with a composed, stoic smile on her face as she went to Pein's side. He, for one, couldn't take his eye off of her.

Kathryn giggled. "You like Dei?"

He nodded mutely.

Kathryn, as usual, looked utterly gorgeous in a skimpy as fuck dark-purple dress that she pulled off unnaturally well.

"Yay!" She cheered, hugging him. "See, Alice, this is why you should have let me find you clothes. You could have made Itachi's jaw hit the street."

I smirked at Kathryn. "I don't need special clothing to do that. I punch a guy in the face and Itachi follows after me with his tongue hanging out."

Itachi huffed stubbornly.

Tiburon sighed. "Why are all of the girls I know insane?"

"Because honey, us insane people tend to stick together." I told him. "Why do you think you're here?"

He crossed his arms stubbornly before looking at Sanaa as she walked down in clothing that Deidara and Sasori probably wouldn't let her wear if it wasn't an occasion. He looked her over before looking away. "You look nice."

She smiled at him and hugged him. "Thank you."

Cielo tugged on her hair gently. "You'll get cold, Sanaa. You should bring a coat."

"I'll be okay." She told him.

Sasori glared at Kathryn. "Why is she wearing that?"

"Because she looks adorable in it." Kathryn told him seriously.

"It is way too revealing." Sasori grunted.

Deidara looked at Cielo and Tiburon. "You two better keep boys away from her, un."

"Consider it done." Cielo said seriously.

Tiburon smirked victoriously at Sanaa.

She just rolled her eyes.

I yawned. "So, now that all of these shenanigans are over, shall we go?"

"Hn." Itachi confirmed. He offered Tiburon some money before giving Cielo some. "I expect you both at Ichiraku's by midnight."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Dad, you know the festival lasts a lot longer than that, right?"

"What did I say, Tiburon?" Itachi asked, narrowing his eyes at our son.

Tiburon smiled and accepted the money. "Ichiraku's at midnight, right?"

Itachi rumpled his hair. "Do not make me come looking for you."

"Got it." Tiburon saluted. He looked at Cielo and Sanaa. "Come on you two."

I smiled after them before smirking at Itachi. "Curfew, huh?"

"I would have to go get him if I didn't set one. And he would sleep past noon." Itachi said simply. "He sleeps late enough anyways."

"True story." I agreed. I looked around at everyone. "So which village are we celebrating first?"

"Kiri." Sakura informed me. She gestured over herself, showing off her blue clothing. Everyone else that actually knew what was going on wore themed clothing. "Tomorrow is Suna."

I just shrugged. "Fair enough. I'll just walk around with Kisame all night."

Kisame grinned. "Sounds good to me. Let's go."

He offered his arm to me and I took it, pulling Itachi after me by his hand.

The festival today was much like the festivals we had where I grew up, just more authentic and less cheap and gritty. Also, it was themed towards Kiri whereas normal festivals were like BAM! everything all at once.

Pretty much everyone was running around with fake swords and those people who did have real ones, showed them off. There were games where you could win inflatable swords, stuffed, wooden, and plastic replicas of the swordsmen including Kisame. A number of games were sword fights where you would get a prize if you beat the man in charge.

And the food…

I don't know about you, but I _love_ seafood.

"So Kisa, what do you want to do." I asked, hugging Kisame's arm.

He grinned at me. "Dunno." He looked at Itachi. "What do you think?"

"Oh my Jashin!" I gasped, pointing. "Giant Kisame!"

Sable barked and wheeled around to look where I pointed. Ash cocked his head to the side with utter confusion.

To my left was a _huge_, life size Kisame plushie. It was a target game where the customer had to throw a ball and break a target. The smallest target was about the size of a ping pong ball and it was the only thing standing between me and the giant Kisame plushie.

"That is extremely creepy." Kisame commented.

"I agree." Itachi said simply.

I turned around and gave Itachi a pouty face. "Please?"

He sighed. "Alice… Where are you going to keep it?"

"I'm going to sleep with it." I scoffed. "Duh. It will keep me company when you two are gone."

He did not look persuaded. Kisame just looked utterly amused.

"What if I give it to Tibby?" I asked. When he didn't immediately say yes, I grabbed his sleeve and bounced in my spot like a toddler. "Please babe?! Pretty please? When do I ever ask you to do stuff?"

"Fine." Itachi sighed. He stepped up to the counter and handed the man some money while fighting off my affection. "Alice."

"Sorry." I told him, backing away and latching onto Kisame.

Itachi bounced the ball in his hand when he was given it before launching at the target with extreme ease. He smirked when the target shattered as was required. The man in charge of the game gawked.

"H-how?!" He stuttered.

I smiled at him as I glomped Itachi. "He's just that amazing." I kissed Itachi fully as a reward.

"Which one do you want?" The man asked.

Kisame grinned. "The giant me, please."

He did a double take, realizing that the inspiration behind the plushie shark man he had was standing on the other side of the counter. "What?"

"Give me the giant shark man!" I ordered, holding out my arms. He forked over the plushie Kisame and I squeezed it. "This is like a portable Kisame-hug."

Kisame chuckled. "Is it as good?"

"Nothing can ever compare to your hugs, Kisame." I scoffed. I handed it over to Itachi who withdrew a storage scroll. He stored the plushie in his scroll before putting it away.

"Oh look! A giant Suigetsu and Zabuza!" I said excitedly, pointing to a water race game.

He looked at me, utterly serious. "No."

I huffed dejectedly. "Fine." I grabbed his hand before grabbing Kisame's and pulling them after me. "More things to do."

We spent a few minutes winning more giant plushies and top prizes which included a shark, stuffed replicas of Samehada and Zabuza/Suigetsu's sword, actual replicas of the Executioner's blade and Kushimaru's sword, and finally a pet miniature shark to put in the fish tank I had talked Sasuke into letting me get.

After our first round of games, we got a bite to eat and then Kisame decided he wanted to have a go at the sword fight game, just for funzies.

The guy he had to fight practically shit himself when he realized he was fighting the actual Kisame Hoshigaki.

It was hilarious.

Because Kisame wasn't going to be able to participate, Itachi offered to fight him instead so Kisame's excitement increased tenfold.

They left me off to the side to watch with Sable and Ash while they attacked each other.

I only got to watch for a little while though.

There I was, watching Kisame and Itachi attack each other with a fairly large group of people, when a hand covered my mouth and I was pulled into the darkness.

Now you see, usually I would freak out and fight for my life, but I wasn't really afraid at the moment. The scent of whoever grabbed me was extremely familiar, as was their hold on me. Not to mention, Sable seemed more excited to see whoever it was than angry they were attacking me.

When they released me in the dark, I wheeled around to come face to face with a very familiar miser and a grinning Jashinist.

"Kakuzu." I sighed. "Was it necessary to kidnap me like that? Couldn't you have just tapped my shoulder?"

He smirked. "Your face was much more amusing."

"Of course it was." I deadpanned. "Now what did you two want?"

"I'm giving you my idiot in exchange for your calm people." Kakuzu said simply, gesturing in Hidan's direction with his thumb. "He won't stop bitching."

"He won't let me fucking do anything." Hidan snapped.

I smiled. "Alright. I'll take him." I held out my arms. "Come here, idiot."

Hidan picked me up in a hug with a grin. "Hey Ice Bitch."

"Hi Hidan." I stated. "Was that all, Kuzu?"

"Are you sure you won't sell your predictions?" Kakuzu asked.

I threw my shoe at him, only to miss as he dodged with a deep chuckle. "Go away, you greedy bastard!"

He left so Hidan and I departed too, pausing briefly to say goodbye to Kisame and Itachi who were wrapped up in their fight. We played a few games and I boasted when I managed to get a better prize than Hidan at a few of the games.

A few minutes until midnight found us trailing down a quiet road towards Ichiraku's with Hidan giving me a piggyback ride because he's a good boy. Sable and Ash trotted along beside us, playing tag most of the way.

"There they are."

Hidan and I looked around to see Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Zetsu walking towards us from an intersecting street.

"What are you two doing?" Kakuzu wondered.

"Ice's back is fucking bothering her." Hidan explained.

I smiled. "Hey babe."

"**Sup?**" Zetsu replied smoothly.

"Hello Zetsu dear." I laughed, hugging him when Hidan put me down. He rumpled my hair and gave me a proper greeting.

I latched onto Itachi a moment later and rested my face on his chest. "I beat Hidan."

He patted my head with approval and kissed my hair. "Well done. I expect nothing less from my wife."

I stuck my tongue out at Hidan.

"By one fucking stuffed animal." He scoffed.

"It was a wolf stuffed animal so you should be jealous." I said seriously.

He glared at me. "I'll fucking burn it."

"I'll burn you." I retorted. I gave Itachi my pouty face. "Carry me to Ichiraku's?"

Kisame picked me up without giving Itachi a chance to respond. "I will, squirt."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around Kisame's neck when he adjusted me and Samehada into our usual positions. I kissed his cheek. "Love you, Kisame."

"Love you too, Alice." He replied, starting for the ramen shop.

We made it there in good time to see Tiburon in a headlock, courtesy of Sasuke while Sanaa and Kathryn tickled him. Cielo just sat beside Kakashi, both of them wearing smirks under their masks. Deidara and Naruto were egging Sanaa and Kathryn on while Sasori was face-palming. Pein and Konan were enjoying their ramen, trying to avoid associating themselves with the idiots of their organization.

"Mom!" Tiburon yelped. "Help me!"

I smiled at him from Kisame's back. "No can do, baby. Mom's not up to fighting people off right now."

Sasori glanced at me. "Why not?"

"Back." I informed him when Kisame set me on the stool beside Sasori. "I should have shot up before going out and doing all that walking."

Tiburon managed to get a hand out of Sasuke's grasp and did a quick substitution jutsu, switching places with Sanaa. She yelped when Sasuke merely smirked and switched his grip to hold her still. Kathryn cackled and continued tickling. Deidara joined in with a laugh, much to the amusement of Sanaa.

Tiburon walked over to me and hugged me from behind. "You okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine. It's just uncomfortable."

He kissed my cheek before going over to help Kathryn and Deidara attack Sanaa. Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu took a seat on my other side respectively while Hidan took the stool on Sasori's other side. They ordered food while I turned around to lean against the bar and watch the tickle battle.

I rested my head on Sasori's shoulder, gaining his attention. "Why aren't you joining the love fest?"

"I'm not big on love fests." He admitted.

I smirked. "That's not what you said last night."

He chuckled. "It's different when it's with you."

"Of course it is." I smiled. "I'm the best."

"Second only to me." Sasori countered with a smug smirk.

"It's your red hair. It gives you super S&M powers." I said simply. "You're a pro at that kinky shit."

He just sighed, rolled his eyes, and shook his head while everyone listening to our conversation snorted with amusement.

We're silly.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>As much as I bitch and whine about how these stories are basically by boredom babies, they are exactly that. My _babies. _I love them even though they're shit. I love them because they amuse me and Alice is one of my favorite original characters. But mostly, I love them because you guys love them. They make you guys happy and so they make me happy. Alice is my original character from an original story that I actually worked hard on and went three sleepless nights hammering out story plotlines and character charts and shit. Now, I know this thief didn't steal Alice, but she has a character that uses Alice's lines/actions so she's basically stealing Alice's thoughts and she copied and pasted my shit and only changed the names. So... excuse me if I seem a little bitchy about this. She's stealing my baby._

Answer: _Normally I'd say a bounty because I get to kill people for money. However, gruesome torture before slowly killing a bitch is starting to sound really fucking good._

**QotC:** _Ever had something of yours stolen? If so, what did you do? If not, what would you do?__  
><em>

_Btw: **KHRKittensWAITWUT?** is the story I'm talking about. Chapter four is where it is blatantly obvious.  
><em>

_I know this is fanfiction and fanfiction is on the internet which is basically a shithole of drama but honestly? If you really can't come up with your own shit don't fucking write a story. I know I used the typical kitties thing, but how long were they actually kittens? Like five chapters? Yeah. Fuck that noise. Go like... report her or something so I can hold in the urge to send her a very vulgar and violent and threatening message on here because I've been about as pissed as I can get for the past three days and I am just itching for something to explode on/at. I'd really rather not get banned from fanfiction because of this dumbass's stupidity and lack of imagination.  
><em>

_Also, btw: Tiburon is not using Kasai. He actually likes her a lot and he would never hurt a girl because of the way his mother raised him. After all, he loves his mommy more than anything and he wouldn't hurt her. The only things that were in his way from asking her out as soon as he found out she liked him were Sanaa, his loyalty to his team and his desire to stay with them, and his hatred of physical human contact.  
><em>

_And no, Sanaa is not going to get her heart broken nor break hearts. Chill, my lovelies.  
><em>

_See ya.  
><em>


	65. Chapter 65

_Chapter 65 ladies and gents._

_This story is going to take forever._

_I do not own Naruto._

_Yet._

_Enjoy  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Third Person!<strong>

Deidara yawned tiredly as he leaned against the side of the bed from his seated position on the floor. Kathryn sat behind him, fixing up his hair because he was far too tired to do it.

Deidara used to despise mornings. Being a teenager with an explosive hobby, he was often up all night perfecting his techniques and doing whatever pleased him until early hours of the morning when he finally went to sleep. And because of his lack of sleep, he hated waking up, especially to a cranky partner.

However, after meeting Kathryn, Deidara began to see a bright side to waking up. Now he woke up to his wife's beautiful face and her bright smile. It didn't matter now if he got twelve hours of sleep or one, Kathryn never failed to make being awake worthwhile.

Deidara gave a tired smirk as thought of Kathryn and he waited for her to finish with his hair. When she did, he immediately got up and thanked her with a passionate kiss.

Kathryn smiled as Deidara pushed her back onto the bed, rewarding her with a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his thick, perfect hair. When they broke apart she kissed his nose gently. "What was that for?"

Deidara shrugged. "I just love you un." He rubbed his nose against hers. "I'm so happy we met, yeah."

"I love you too, Deidara." She assured him. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Deidara made to say something corny that would undoubtedly make Kathryn squeal but was cut off by a knock on the door. "Oi, you brats get up! You've been sleeping all day. It's two in the afternoon."

Kathryn gasped. "I have to go shopping!"

Deidara chuckled and let her up, watching her shoot to the bathroom to hurriedly get ready. He shook his head with a smile before leaving his bedroom. "Hey Danna, un."

"Brat." Sasori said simply. "You slept all day."

"Kathryn and I didn't go to sleep until like seven in the morning yeah." Deidara confessed.

"I do not want to know." Alice commented as she walked out of the kitchen. She elbowed Sasori after patting Deidara's hair affectionately. "Let's go find something to bitch and argue about."

Sasori chuckled and followed after Alice. "We head into town at six, Deidara. Be certain you and Kathryn are ready to go by then."

"Kay, un." Deidara sighed. "Where's Sanaa yeah?"

"With my boys." Alice informed him, pausing at the front door to look at him. "They're somewhere around here."

"They probably went to spend time with their friends." Sasori said. He opened the door and held it open for Alice. "Remember Brat, six."

Deidara just waved him away, intent on finding some food before going and preparing some art for the fireworks.

* * *

><p>"Now Tiburon, Cielo, there's no need to be so hostile." Kōri said soothingly, backing away from the irritated boys from Team Sasuke.<p>

"I'm alright with you being her boyfriend, and you can hold her hand, but _no_ kissing her." Tiburon growled.

"Oh will you two stop it?" Sanaa demanded. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself and I can make my own decisions."

Cielo looked at her. "Of course you can, Sanaa."

"Whether or not we accept them is a different story." Tiburon added.

Sanaa glared, putting her hands on her hips. "Leave Kōri alone or I'll tell Icy about your girlfriend."

Tiburon froze and looked back at Sanaa with narrowed eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would, yeah." She threatened. "Leave him alone. He can kiss me if he wants to. We've been going out for almost a month. You've kissed Kasai and you just asked her out last night."

Tiburon went to retort but paused. "How did you know I kissed Kasai?"

"Cielo told me." Sanaa told him.

Tiburon looked at Cielo.

"Alice asked me to follow you." He admitted, lifting his shoulders.

Tiburon shook his head as he crossed his arms and looked to Sanaa. "That's different."

"How is it different?" She asked.

"I'm older than you." He told her. "So is Kasai."

Kōri raised his eyebrow. "What's your point?"

"You shut up." Tiburon told him. "It just is, Sanaa."

She scoffed. "No it isn't. Why are you always so mean yeah?"

"I'm not mean." Tiburon scoffed.

Kōri nodded. "Yeah you are."

"I am not." Tiburon protested. "Cielo, am I mean?"

Cielo shrugged. "You can be."

"No one asked you." Tiburon glared.

Cielo rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Tiburon." He looked at Sanaa. "Look, Sanaa, let's make a deal."

She eyed Cielo. "I'm listening."

"I don't like him kissing you either. But, since you do have a good point, I can't really kill him for it." Cielo stated. Kōri sighed. "So, in order to make everyone happy, how about when we're around, you two limit contact to hug and holding hands?"

"I can live with that." Tiburon said calmly.

Sanaa exchanged a look with Kōri before shrugging. "Okay."

"Fine with me." Kōri said boredly.

Cielo raised his eyebrow. "Well, now that we have come to an agreement, now what?" He looked at the sky before looking at Sanaa. "Weren't you supposed to go shopping with your mother?"

Sanaa gasped. "You're right yeah!" She glomped Kōri goodbye before waving farewell to Tiburon and Cielo, sprinting towards the Uchiha compound.

All three boys looked after Sanaa before Tiburon and Cielo exchanged a look. Tiburon cracked his knuckles while Cielo adjusted his gloves. "Now that Sanaa's gone…"

Kōri's eyes widened slightly before he took off in the direction of his teammate's chakra with Cielo and Tiburon on his tail, hoping she would be able to protect him from her new boyfriend.

**First Person Alice!**

"Ouch!"

"Oh quit complaining you big baby."

"It fucking hurts!"

"Well, if you would have let me stretch it out like I was going to, it wouldn't hurt so much."

"If you fucking stretched it out, you'd ruin it! Then it'd be fucking useless."

"I wouldn't have to listening to you bitching and moaning if I did."

"I am not fucking moaning! Gah! Fuck!"

"I begged to differ."

"Ice bitch! Puppet fucker! Quit fucking laughing! What about this is fucking funny?"

I cackled. "Do you two realize how perverted that conversation sounded?"

Sasori snorted. "You two should really work on how you word things."

Hidan and Kakuzu looked at each other. Kakuzu was currently helping Hidan put on some bandages. Earlier that morning he had barged in on me and Itachi while we were sleeping, only to have Sable attack him. After I called Sable off, an angry Itachi cut his head, arms, and legs off. Kakuzu had to stitch Hidan together again and he was currently putting bandages on the more gruesome wounds that couldn't be hidden by clothing.

Sasori and I were currently holding onto each other, laughing, trying to stay on our feet as we watched Kakuzu tend to Hidan's wounds. Kakuzu stared at us while Hidan glared as Sasori and I tried to compose ourselves. Soon enough, we eventually did.

"You two are perverted." Kakuzu stated.

"Not my fault!" I snickered. "You two set that up almost perfectly!"

Sasori chuckled. "She has a point."

I patted my knee, a bright smile from amusement on my face. "Ah, that was what I needed today. Thank you both."

"Get the fuck out." Hidan snarled. "This is your fucking fault."

"And it was totally worth it." I countered. "Come on, Sasori."

Sasori smirked and dipped his head in Kakuzu's direction before following me out of the house. It was almost time to head into town for the festival. Sasori just knew it was going to be worse than last nights because Suna was the village theme. And if Kisame's stuffed replicas were anything to go by, that only meant he had some too.

He did _not_ want to be around Kathryn and Deidara tonight.

That's why he was hanging around me all day today seeing as I had officially claimed him as my festival buddy, much to his relief.

"Hey Alice!"

I looked around as me and Sasori emerged from Hidan and Kakuzu's house. I smiled when I saw Naruto, Kiba, Akamaru, Neji, Lee, Shino, Shikamaru, and Choji walking down the main street of the Uchiha compound.

I waved. "Sup guys? Looking for Sasuke?"

"No, we came to see you!" Kida told me with a grin. He grunted when Naruto stomped on his toe. "Ouch!"

Naruto smiled at me and hugged me. "Do you know where the bastard is?"

"He should be in the house." I told him. "Be quiet when you go in there. Itachi was meditating when I left. He's in a rather bad mood right now."

Naruto paled. "He's not sleeping, is he?"

I smiled. "No. But Hidan woke us up early this morning and Itachi's been irritated ever since. That's why he's meditating."

Kiba raised his eyebrow. "Isn't he always in a bad mood?"

I shook my head. "No. You're confusing him with Sasori."

Sasori glared at me. "Bitch."

"You love me, Loofa Sponge." I grinned. I elbowed Naruto. "You guys just come with me. I need to get Itachi to hurry his ass up and get ready for the festival anyways."

"What time is it?" Sasori wondered as we strolled to the manor.

"Twenty til six." I informed him. We walked inside and I entered the kitchen. "Itachi! Sasuke! Get your asses in the kitchen now!"

An instant later, both Uchiha brothers were standing by the table, looking curious.

"Alice?" Itachi asked. He smiled when I kissed him and returned the gesture. "What did you need?"

"We're leaving in like twenty minutes. Are you ready to go?" I asked.

He nodded. "Hn."

"Sasuke?" I questioned, turning to look at him as he glared daggers at Naruto who was grinning like the fox he contained.

"I'm ready." Sasuke confirmed. "In fact, I was waiting for the Dobe to come meet me here so I'm going to go."

I nodded. "Alright." I pointed at Naruto. "Behave."

He just grinned at me as he grabbed Sasuke's hand and dragged him out of the house.

"So, Sasori is staying with me during the festival today." I told Itachi. "You're free to do whatever you want. I hear that they have a sweet shop that has treats to die for and you can win tickets for free treats."

Itachi looked twice as excited as he ever did.

"Looks like Itachi found something to do." Sasori smirked.

"Tiburon will probably join him." I smiled. "After all, the kid practically foams at the mouth whenever he hears me say dango."

**Third Person!**

Tiburon smirked as he stood at the counter for one of the games at the festival. He eyed the giant plush scorpion with all intentions of winning it for Sanaa, Kathryn, and his mother. He had seen the giant Sasori plushies but he thought it would be weird for him to win it, so he was aiming for the Scorpion which was the next best thing.

"Hey look, someone won the giant redheaded guy." Kasai stood beside him, holding the massively giant stuffed wolf Tiburon had won for her.

Tiburon watched the giant Sasori plushie be removed from the wall and he rolled his eyes.

"Isn't that your mom…?" Kasai wondered, watching a woman who was undoubtedly Alice, accept the giant Sasori and hug it.

"I don't know her right now." Tiburon told himself.

"Hey baby!"

Tiburon allowed his head to thump on the counter. He looked around and smiled. "Hi Mom." He smirked at the scowling redhead behind her. "Hi Sori-Danna."

"Brat." Sasori greeted.

Alice showed him the Sasori. "Look what I won."

"You won it? Or someone won it for you?" Tiburon asked.

"I did." She pouted. "Sasori wouldn't do it for me so I had to."

Sasori glared at her. "I don't want that creepy as fuck plushie around me."

"Whatever, you love it." Alice told him. "It's nicer than you. And it smells a hell of a lot better."

"You cannot fathom my hatred for you right now." Sasori growled.

Alice waved him off. "Quit your bitching, Loofa." She kissed Tiburon's head and smiled brightly at Kasai before grabbing Sasori's hand and dragging him away. "Oh look! A puppet show! Let's go see your relatives, Sasori!"

"I fucking hate you." Sasori growled.

Tiburon shook his head. "She's acting like a little kid."

Kasai smiled. "She's having fun."

"She's weird. She's only doing this to piss Sori-Danna off." Tiburon admitted.

"Even so." Kasai smiled. "So what are you trying for this time?"

"I'm going to get Kitty that giant scorpion." Tiburon told her. "Then I'll store these in one of my storage scrolls so you don't have to carry it around all night."

Kasai nodded and took a seat beside Tiburon. "Alright."

* * *

><p>Sanaa giggled as Kōri handed her a tiny plushie of Gaara. "You like the Kazekage, right?"<p>

"I love Gaara." Sanaa smiled, hugging the plushie. "He's a really close friend of Icy's." She kissed Kōri's cheek. "Thank you."

"I would have gotten you the giant one, but I assumed that would be a bit much." Kōri chuckled.

"Yeah… Plus, I think Naru wants that one." She snickered, gesturing at Naruto who was jumping up and down because had finally won the massive Gaara. Said Kazekage was standing beside the hyperactive blond looking utterly petrified by the sight of his stuffed replica and the fact that Naruto won it.

"I hope you two aren't doing anything bad."

Sanaa looked around and smiled. "Hi Zetsu! Hi Konan! Hi Kuzu-oji!"

Konan smiled and patted Sanaa's head. "What are you doing?"

"Kōri and I are playing some games." Sanaa told him. She showed her the plushie. "We're stalking Cielo and Tiburon. They have a competition over who can win the most prizes."

Kakuzu sighed. "That ought to be good."

"I think Cielo is winning." Kōri confessed.

Zetsu rumpled Sanaa's hair. "We're meeting at the Hokage tower at midnight. **Make sure you're there. **We're going to go find something to eat. **Finally! I'm starving.**"

Sanaa giggled. "Okay, Zetsu. Bye!"

He waved over his shoulder as he began slipping through the crowds. Kakuzu and Konan said a short farewell, trailing after the hungry plant man.

Sanaa looked after them before smiling at Kōri. "Wanna go get something to eat?"

Kōri nodded. "Sure."

* * *

><p>Cielo yawned to himself as he stuffed his fifteenth top prize in his scroll. He was totally beating Tiburon because Tiburon had to impress his girlfriend on top of competing. Cielo was using all of these games as training.<p>

After all, how often did you get prizes for shuriken practice?

He strolled down the street, politely avoiding collisions with other people when he ran across Pein. Surprisingly, the pierced leader of the Akatsuki was void of Konan. He walked over to Pein who was watching him and raised his eyebrow curiously. "Pein-sama?"

"Cielo." Pein greeted. "I am sorry to prevent you from enjoying yourself at the festival, but there is something you and I need to talk about."

Cielo cocked his head to the side. "Of course sir. I'm not doing anything exciting anyways. What did you need?"

Pein shook his head. "We cannot talk here." He put his hand on Cielo's shoulder. "Let's go somewhere where we cannot be overheard."

* * *

><p>Itachi looked up from his dango when the door opened to the sweet shop. He raised his eyebrow when he saw Tiburon walk in with Sanaa, the Yūhi girl, and the boy named Kōri. The foursome sat down with Sanaa and Kōri beside each other across from Tiburon and Kasai.<p>

Itachi pushed Kisame's foot with his own before kicking Hidan's leg. "Look who just walked in."

Kisame followed his gaze and raised his eyebrow. "The kids?"

"So the little shits are looking for fucking sweets." Hidan shrugged. "The fuck do you think you're doing?"

Itachi glared at him. "I am more curious about the seating arrangement and the fact that Tiburon walked in here holding that girl's hand."

Hidan looked at Itachi. "You don't think…"

"I certainly hope not. For her sake." Itachi stated. "Hopefully Alice doesn't come in here."

Kisame smirked. "I told you something was going on between those two when she came over to get him a few days ago."

Itachi glanced at his partner. "I was giving her the benefit of the doubt."

Hidan chuckled. "Well fuck."

* * *

><p>"Oh look Dei!" Kathryn squealed. "A giant Danna!"<p>

Deidara raised his eyebrow as said giant Sasori was removed from the wall and handed to someone. "Who in the world would want that thing other than you, un?" He followed the receiver of the plushie before laughing. "Of course yeah."

Kathryn raised her eyebrow. "What?"

"Alice got it un." Deidara chuckled.

Kathryn snickered and latched onto Deidara. "I'll have to steal it from her later." She used her fingers to walk up his arm to his nose which she tapped gently. "Let's go find something to eat. I'm starving."

"What did you want yeah?" Deidara asked.

Kathryn rubbed her chin. "I dunno. You wanna go on the hunt for the others and see if any of them are eating yet?"

"Sure yeah." Deidara shrugged.

"No chakra." Kathryn stated. "The person who finds them first wins. Alice and Danna don't count."

Deidara grinned. "Fair enough, yeah."

* * *

><p>"Look Loofa, just admit that I'm more of a badass than you are." Alice stated.<p>

Sasori scoffed. "Badass at what? Being a moron? If so, than absolutely."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Sasori, I'm way more awesome than you. It's a proven fact."

"How so?" Sasori asked.

"Did you ever have a village blown up for you?" Alice wondered.

"No, because I've never been lame enough to get into a position where someone else needed to destroy it for me. I have destroyed villages myself though." Sasori countered.

Alice swore. "Damn it. I forgot about that…"

Sasori smirked. "Idiot."

"Don't talk about yourself like that, Sasori." Alice scolded. "You should have more confidence in your intelligence. I would say you at least have the mental capacity to breathe and blink at the same time."

Sasori glanced at her. "You don't."

"Ouch." Alice mocked pain. "You wound me with your words."

"You wound me with your face." Sasori countered.

Alice smirked. "Oh you like it? See, when I was getting ready this morning, I thought, maybe I should try to make myself look like Sasori to ward off any would be kidnappers. Because really, who would want to kidnap someone with a face as hideous as yours?"

Sasori snorted with amusement. "You love this face."

"Indeed I do." Alice admitted. "I just wish you would brush your teeth sometimes. Because your breath is awful."

"It's a new toothpaste I use. It's called Alice Toothpaste. It's supposed to smell like you." Sasori stated.

"That must be why your smile has been so much more dazzling recently." Alice concluded. "Doesn't help with your smell though."

"Essence of Alice cologne." Sasori informed her.

Alice smiled. "I made it with you in mind, dear Loofa Sponge."

"Ya know listening to you two fucking talk to each other is like listening to a complete different fucking language."

Alice and Sasori looked around to see Kisame, Itachi, and Hidan walking behind them as they all headed toward the Hokage tower.

Alice and Sasori exchanged glances.

"Just because you're a moron who cannot comprehend normal speech without profanity doesn't mean you need to insult our discussion." Alice told Hidan.

"You should focus on breathing and walking instead of distracting yourself, Hidan." Sasori added.

He glared while Sasori and Alice exchanged a fist bump. Kisame and Itachi chuckled.

"It's about time you guys got here, un!" Deidara called. "I've wanted to show you all my art yeah!"

Kathryn smiled. "He and Sanaa prepared a bunch of stuff."

Sanaa beamed and skipped forward to hug Sasori. "Wanna see me and Daddy's art, Sori-Danna?"

"Art is eternal brat." Sasori said seriously. "Not fleeting as your moronic father puts it."

Deidara grinned at Sasori. "Art is a bang, Danna un."

Sasori glared. "No it's not, brat."

"Yes it is!" Deidara said quickly. He elbowed Sanaa gently. "Come on baby, let's show Danna just how amazing explosions really are, un!"

Sanaa beamed and put her palms together just as Deidara did. At the sat time the formed a number of birds and other flying animals that they made come to life with a simple hand sign. A number of other birds took off from strategic places around the village. The flapping of wings filled the area as the clay creations flew high into the night sky until they disappeared.

With identical, childish grins on their faces, Sanaa and Deidara held their hands up and shouted "Katsu!" in perfect unison.

Fireworks erupted in the sky, drawing everyone's attention to the display of explosive art. Sanaa and Deidara beamed while Kathryn squealed about both of them being adorable when they blew shit up.

Sasori rolled his eyes and glanced at Alice who was snickering. "Idiots."

Alice smirked, elbowing him. "Admit it. You thought that was awesome."

He sniffed stubbornly. "Never."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>__Bitch-face who stole from me had her story removed. S'right bitch._

Answer: _I've had a few of my things stolen. And all of my shit was returned. I'm not a fan of thieves. Especially when it's my shit._

**QotC: **_It's been a while since I've asked this question, so I'm going to do it again only tweak it up a bit. Before I asked what is your favorite fanfiction you've ever read, now I ask what is the _best _fanfiction you've ever read? I don't necessarily mean your favorite, I mean the best thought out, clear, elaborate, awesomely written story? Also, you can throw in your favorite in there too. I know mine has changed. :D_

_I'm sorry the updates have been slow. I've been focusing on my classes and getting to know my roommates here at OSU. My roommate Marisa is exactly like me only girly. She watches anime and she, her boyfriend, and I had a four hour discussion about anime. It was lovely._

_My other roommate Jazzmin cracks me up. And then there is Cierra who I've known since like first grade. She's, as always, my favorite._

_Kathryn's about an hour and a half south west of me at Wright State. I miss her._

_But, I promise I'll try to update more often._

_Bye._


	66. Chapter 66

_Sup kiddies?_

_Here is the 66__th__ chapter._

_And Tobi… I fucking KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT WAS YOUR TRUE IDENTITY ASSHOLE!_

_Anyways…You get no spoilers from me._

_Enjoy._

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

The third day of the festival which celebrated Kumo went by in a blur. The only extreme thing that happened was Hidan getting wasted and making a complete, utter fool of himself. Kakuzu finally managed to pimp me out, but it wasn't for my predictions. It was a sale of tickets for the gigantic verbal debate Sasori and I had that was extremely offensive and very, very sarcastic and rude.

The fourth day was a celebration of Iwa. Kathryn and Sanaa both won life-sized Deidara plushies for themselves while I settled for a giant plushie dragon that was modeled after Deidara's clay dragon. Deidara and Sanaa were in charge of the fireworks that night and their enthusiasm and involvement with the pyrotechnic techniques only intensified.

It was now the fifth night of the festival with celebrated Konoha. And I was practically having spasms trying to win all of the live-sized plushies of my favorite non-criminal Shinobi. I already had Kakashi, Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Choji, Tenten, Kiba, Tsunade, Gai, Genma, and Anko.

Itachi was practically face-palming the entire time.

"Shut up." I told him when he sighed after I won my Akamaru plushie.

"What are you going to do with all of these?" Itachi demanded, storing the plushie in the scroll.

"I'm going to keep them." I told him simply. "Oh my Jashin! Uchiha clan stand!"

He sighed as I practically frolicked to the stand honoring the Uchiha clan. I foamed at the mouth as I ogled at the goodies it had and when Itachi joined me, I grabbed his arm and squeezed it excitedly. "Look at all of the stuff you probably already have!"

"I see it, Alice." Itachi stated.

I smiled at the guy behind the counter. "I want one of everything."

Itachi gawked at me. "Alice."

"What?" I asked. "So I want things associated with my husband and his family? Sue me." I snatched the Sharingan glasses off of the counter and put them on him. He just sighed so I laughed. "You're cute."

He rolled his eyes and pushed the glasses up, smirking slightly when I kissed him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rubbed my nose against his. "Enjoy yourself, dork. So what if I'm blowing a shitload of money on pointless things? I'm making the most of this goofy festival."

He sighed and kissed me back. "I know. I just have no clue what we're going to do with all of this stuff."

"Store it in one of the storage rooms at the hideout so I can go and ogle at them whenever I want." I shrugged. I accepted the bag of goodies from the man before smiling at him and dropping some money on the counter. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Now what?" Itachi asked as I pulled him down the street.

"I'm heading for those giant Shino, Shikamaru, and Lee plushies." I informed him.

He sighed. "Of course you are."

"Trust me babe, you haven't seen insane yet. Wait until tomorrow when they have life sized versions of you guys." I told him. I gave him my best pouty face. "Win me some?"

"Yes dear." He deadpanned.

I smiled and stopped in front of the stand and cracked my knuckles. "Two games please, one for me and the sexy Uchiha with the stylish glasses."

The man chuckled and accepted my money before giving Itachi and I our darts. As expected, because I have become a professional at carnival games, Itachi and I won first prize.

"Which ones do you want?" He asked.

"I want giant Shino. He wants giant Shikamaru. Give me the giant Lee and I'll throw in a few more coins." I told him.

He raised his eyebrow at me. "You must be the Seer."

"The one and only." I confirmed, holding out my arms. "Giant plushie Shinobi please."

"Predict something for me and I'll give you the green one." He stated.

I looked him over carefully before smirking. "You will make a great deal of money doing this job and you will eventually gamble it. If you gamble it, you will lose everything and then you will sink into depression before becoming a thief. If you chose not to gamble, you will live a very happy life, continuing this hobby of carnival games."

He stared at me. "Really?"

"I never lie Sugar-Tits, now hand over the plushies." I demanded.

He handed over the plushies as demanded and I hugged them as Itachi readied the scroll to store them.

"Alice?"

I smiled as I looked around. "Hello Shikamaru. Hey Choji."

Choji smiled at Itachi and I before looking around us curiously. "Where's Sable?"

"She's with Hidan. She tends to try and eat the plushies I win so Hidan offered to take her. She probably has more fun with him anyways." I informed him.

Shikamaru looked over the giant replica of him with a disturbed expression. "What?"

"Yeah, I'm winning all of you." I told him with a smile. "I already have Choji."

Shikamaru sighed and rolled his eyes. "You are strange."

"Yep." I nodded. "Lee!"

Lee bounded over to me with Gai at his side and he beamed at me. Neji and Tenten trailed behind them at a more normal pace. "Hello Alice!"

I held up his stuffed replica. "Look what I won."

"Me!" Lee gasped.

"How youthful!" Gai cheered. "Are there stuffed forms of my other students?"

"Yep. I've already won Tenten and you Gai. I'm on the hunt for Neji right now."

Neji sighed. "Better you than these two."

I snickered while Lee and Gai gasped and began ranting about how glorious and youthful it would be to have stuffed versions of their teammates and their friends. Gai practically started drooling about the prospect of having a plushie of his rival.

"You guys do know there is more than just one live-sized version of you all right?" I asked. "I've seen like ten Kakashi plushies."

Gai gasped and grabbed Lee, shaking him. "We must go and find my eternal rival. We will see which one of us is more capable at winning these prizes."

I stared after them as the bounded off. "Wow."

Neji sighed. "You had to get them started, didn't you?"

"Shut up." I told him. "It was bound to happen. Come on Itachi. I need to go find a Neji plushie."

Itachi sighed and trailed after me.

Shikamaru chuckled. "This outta be good."

**Third Person!**

Sasuke glared at Naruto, who was wearing Sharingan glasses, as he won a life-sized plushie of said duck-butt. Naruto smirked at Sasuke and waved the look-a-like in his face. "Look Sasuke. I won you. Now you're mine."

Sakura was fawning over the plushie while Kakashi stared at it like it might burst into flames.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Congratulations, moron. You've proven how abnormal and stupid you really are."

Naruto pouted. "You're so mean. I like stuffed Sasuke more. He's a lot nicer because he never opens his big fat mouth."

Sasuke sighed. "I'm surrounded by idiots." He looked around as two more idiots joined the trio of morons he called his team.

"Kakashi! My eternal rival!" Gai said loudly, practically jumping on Kakashi.

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at him. "Gai. What can I do for you?"

"I challenge you!" Gai announced. "It is my turn to think up a new competition for us. You are currently winning with 189 wins while I have 188."

Kakashi sighed and crossed his arms. "What did you have in mind?"

"We will have a competition of prizes." Gai declared. He thrust his finger towards the stuffed Sasuke. "Whoever wins the most giant first prizes by the end of the night will win the challenge!"

Kakashi face-palmed. "Really?"

"Indeed!" Gai confirmed.

"Alright." Kakashi sighed. He rumpled the hair of his team, much to Sasuke chagrin, before following after Gai so they could start at one end and make their way to the end of the carnival games.

Sasuke glared after them. "This is ridiculous."

"Ten bucks says Alice beats both of them." Tenten offered as she joined them with Neji.

"I'll take that." Sasuke stated. "Alice only wants one of certain people. Those two will be battling for multiple prizes of different things."

Tenten sighed. "Why are our sensei so strange?"

"Good question." Neji deadpanned as he heard Lee cheering Gai on.

* * *

><p>Tiburon smacked Sanaa gently on the head with his normal-sized Sasuke plushie.<p>

Sanaa glared at him before whacking him in the face with her Naruto plushie. "Meanie."

"Ouch!" Tiburon whined, rubbing his cheek. "I barely hit you."

She shrugged and pressed closer to Kōri. "It was still mean."

"I think you broke my face." Tiburon pouted.

"It can only be an improvement." Cielo commented. Sen and Ken laughed and high-fived Cielo while Tiburon glared.

"Don't be mean, Cielo." Kasai scolded. "Tiburon is very cute."

Tiburon stuck his tongue out at Cielo.

Sanaa secretly narrowed her eyes at Kasai as she latched onto Tiburon's side. Tiburon wrapped his arm over Kasai's shoulder before kissing her cheek. "You're very cute."

"How sweet." Kōri said boredly. "That's the first time I've ever heard you say something nice to someone."

Sanaa glanced at Kōri when Tiburon glowered at him. "Tibby says nice stuff to me like that sometimes." She looked at Cielo. "Cielo, don't be mean to Tibby."

Cielo rolled his eyes. "Forgive me, Sanaa."

She smiled at him, giggling when he rumpled her hair.

"I'm bored." Rifu announced.

Kōri kissed Sanaa's cheek. "I'm not."

He remained oblivious to the jealous glares he received from Sen, Keru, and Ken as well as the possessive scowls from Cielo and Tiburon.

Sanaa smiled at him but looked back at Rifu. "What do you wanna do, Rifu?"

"I dunno." She shrugged.

Tiburon elbowed Cielo with his free arm. "Want to spar?"

"We're not allowed." Cielo reminded him.

"I'll spar with you, Tibby." Sanaa offered.

Tiburon grinned. "Alright." He removed his arm from Kasai's shoulders and grabbed Sanaa's hand before dragging her away from Kōri. He pulled her after him, leading the others towards a vacant lot.

Tiburon let go of Sanaa and they took their places facing each other.

"Isn't Tiburon against hurting Sanaa?" Ken asked, looking at Cielo.

"They have no issues sparring against each other." Cielo stated. "He has a problem with other people going against Sanaa."

Kōri glanced at Cielo. "Why? Sanaa can take care of herself."

"I know that, and so does he." Cielo told him. "However, Tiburon has _always_ been extremely protective of Sanaa." His eyes widened. "Move!"

The spectating Chūnin all were forced to scatter in order to dodge a giant fireball that crashed into the area they had formally been occupying.

"Cielo! You weren't supposed to warn Kōri!" Tiburon growled.

"Tibby yeah!" Sanaa scolded. "You did that on purpose!"

Tiburon whistled innocently and kicked some dirt.

Sanaa glared at him before shoving her hands into the clay pouches at her side. She molded some birds before making them come to life. They flew after Tiburon under Sanaa's command.

"Oh shit." Tiburon swore. He dodged the dive-bombing birds, yelping when they exploded. "Sanaa! Watch it!"

"Leave Kōri alone!" She yelled. "I'm allowed to have a boyfriend if I want one yeah!"

Tiburon raced towards Sanaa, pulling a kunai out of his pouch. He skillfully avoided the countless bombs she launched at him. "I was kidding! I knew he was going to dodge it!"

"Should we help him?" Kasai wondered.

"No." Cielo and Kōri said in unison.

Tiburon tackled Sanaa, and pinned her hands to the ground. "Pinned ya."

She smirked and wiggled her fingers. Tiburon swore when he felt chakra strings latch onto him. "Caught ya, yeah."

"No fair, Sanaa!" Tiburon protested.

"What the fuck is with all of these shitty explosions?"

Tiburon looked around at Sasori, Hidan, Deidara, Kathryn, Kakuzu, and Kisame. Sable sat by Hidan's side with Ash sitting between her front paws. "Help!" Sable tossed back her head and howled with Tiburon's whining.

"Tibby's being mean!" Sanaa protested. She moved her finger and Tiburon smacked himself.

"Ouch!" Tiburon yelped. "Lemme go!"

"Say sorry." She ordered.

"I didn't do anything!" Tiburon whined. "Ouch!"

Sasori sighed and walked over to the battling teenagers and separated them both. "Behave. Your fighting is making Sable agitated." Said wolf was barking at them and snarling.

"He's mean, Sori-Danna!" Sanaa whined.

"He gets it from his mother." Sasori reminded her. "He can't help it."

Tiburon glared at Sasori. "Butthead."

Sanaa kicked him. "Don't call Sori-Danna names." Tiburon swore and ran away from her.

"Easy baby, un." Deidara chuckled, picking her up when she made to chase him. He kissed her cheek and hugged her.

Sanaa glared after Tiburon but didn't fight her father. She hugged him back and kissed his cheek in return. "Stupid boys."

"That's right, Princess!" Kathryn chirped, skipping over to Sanaa. "Boys are dumb."

Hidan scoffed. "Excuse you, bitch."

Kisame pouted. "What did I do?"

"Hey, don't be mean to Kisa!" Tiburon protested, pointing at Kathryn.

Kathryn smiled. "I didn't mean you, Kisame."

Kisame smiled in return, busying himself with giving Tiburon a noogie.

"What about me?!" Hidan barked.

"Nope. You're still dumb." Kathryn informed him. She yelped and hid behind Sasori when Hidan began stomping towards her.

The Chūnin watching the fiasco simply cocked their heads to the side, wondering what was going on.

"We're surrounded by idiots, kid." Kakuzu deadpanned, patting Cielo's head when he face-palmed.

Cielo sighed. "Weirdoes."

* * *

><p>Cielo smirked at Sanaa who was glowering at Kasai. Kasai was sitting on a log running her fingers through Tiburon's hair as sat in front of her. He was leaning back into her, petting Sable who had decided to stay with him instead of Hidan. Ash was currently plopped in Cielo's lap, chewing on the stuffed frog Cielo had won for him.<p>

Kōri had gone to get drinks with Keru and Rifu. Sen and Ken were roasting marshmallows, leaving the couple, Cielo, and Sanaa at the fire alone.

Cielo elbowed Sanaa. When she turned to look at him his smirk increased. "Are you perhaps jealous of Kasai?"

Sanaa huffed angrily. "I am not!"

"Then why are you glaring at her?" Cielo asked.

"I'm not glaring." Sanaa mumbled.

Cielo gave her a look.

She glared at him before crossing her arms and looking down, shooting a scowl in Kasai and Tiburon's direction. "I just don't like it when people touch Tibby."

"Why?" Cielo wondered.

"He doesn't like it either." Sanaa told Cielo seriously.

"He doesn't seem to have a problem right now." Cielo pointed out.

Sanaa glanced at Tiburon. "Yeah he does. He's really tense right now. He hates it when other people touch him unless he initiates contact. Why do you think he usually only holds her hand? He never hugs her because he doesn't like people touching him."

Cielo followed Sanaa's gaze towards Tiburon and he nodded with understanding slightly as he noticed the tension in Tiburon's shoulders, neck, and jaw. Every time Kasai would remove her hand from his hair completely for a second and then touch him again, he would twitch. The hand that wasn't petting Sable was gripping onto her collar.

"I see your point." Cielo said smoothly. "So what are you going to do about it?"

Sanaa looked at Cielo. "Nothing. I won't be a hypocrite. I hate when Tibby meddles in my relationship so I'm not going to do it with him."

"I bet he would listen to you." Cielo informed her.

"Maybe he would." Sanaa said quietly, reaching out to scratch behind Ash's ear gently.

Cielo raised his eyebrow at her when Ash's tail began thumping at the attention. "This is because of your imprisonment by the late Otokage, right?"

She nodded. "He's never quite gotten over it. I haven't really either. But I didn't go through the same things he did." Sanaa bit her lip as he looked at Tiburon, watching his face twitch when Kasai poked his gauge. "In fact, don't think he'll ever get over it."

**First Person Alice!**

I sighed as I woke up in the middle of the night after a long day of partying and excitement. I ran a hand over my face and sat up, feeling strangely awake for how late it was. I looked around the room before getting up, taking care not to disturb Itachi.

I slipped out of the bedroom and peeked into the room next to ours, satisfied at seeing Kisame snoring away. I nodded with approval before checking on the room across from his. Sasuke was passed out as expected, utterly motionless in his sleep. Just to be sure, I checked to make sure he was still alive before leaving his room.

I peeked in on Cielo, pleased to see him cuddling with Ash with his facemask off. Then I went across the hallway to Tiburon's room. I opened the door and tensed when I saw him rolling around on his bed, unintelligible words coming from him.

Sable was lying beside him, her head on his chest, licking his face on occasion when he would whimper.

I sighed and walked into the room, pushing the door closed behind me. I went to his bed and sat down beside my baby. I picked his torso up and brought him into a hug. After a moment of struggling, he subconsciously recognized me because he latched onto me, still whimpering and talking to himself.

I just rested my head against his and rubbed his back soothingly, muttering gentle words into his ear.

After a moment, he jerked awake, gasping. I tightened my grip on him and rocked him. "Shh, shh baby it's okay. I've got you."

He shuddered and buried his face into my shoulder. "Mom."

"Yeah Tibby. It's me." I assured him. "You're alright."

He sighed with relief. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize for something that isn't your fault." I whispered. "I know how it feels, baby."

He nodded quietly. "Bad dream."

"Do you remember any of it?" I asked.

He went quiet for some time before his knuckles cracked when he clenched my shirt in his fists. "Sonido."

I kissed the side of his head. "Say no more, Tibby. I understand."

"I can't stand it when other people touch me." He muttered. "Even the smallest pat on the shoulder bothers me."

"I know." I sighed. "I have that problem too. It dims down in time."

He pulled away from me and raised his eyebrow. "You do?"

"I can't stand it when people other than you, Cielo, Sanaa, your dad, aunts, or uncles touch me. I even still have to fight down the urge to kill something when Naruto hugs me. I'm just used to his exuberance." I admitted.

"So it will go away?" He asked.

"It will as long as you work on it and keep on finding reason why you like physical contact." I told him. I smirked and kissed his forehead. "Like that."

He rolled his eyes with a tired smirk. "I think you're the only one that's ever going to kiss my forehead."

"You'd be surprised." I told him with a smile. "But I better be the only one kissing your forehead. No girlfriends until I die."

He chuckled. "Alright, Mom."

I kissed his cheek. "You wanna come stay with me?"

He shook his head. "I'll be alright."

"Alright. But if you need me, I'm always here baby. Know that." I said seriously.

"Mom," he smiled, "if there was anything I was ever sure of, it's that I can count on you to keep me safe and happy."

I smiled and rubbed my nose against his. "I'll get you some dango tomorrow."

He laughed as he flopped back on his bed. "Still got it."

I rolled my eyes with a smile as I reached his door, exiting his room. "Teenagers."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>__I'm tired as fuck._

Answer: _The best story I've read according to context… that's a hard one. I'm not sure. I've read some really good Bleach ones and some really good Naruto ones. And, to be quite honest, all of them are yaoi or have hints of it. Lol Best Naruto ones are: _Save Me From This Nightmare _by _Klavieres_, _The Way to Your Heart _by _Wolfgirl4716_, a shitload of the oneshots by _Sarah1281_, _recodan_, _EvilFuzzy9_, and anything by _BitterSweetCrimson. _The best Bleach one: _Strawberry Bad Boy _by _Mistress Penelopye, _Good crossovers include: _Itachi and the Prisoner of Azkaban _and its sequel by _Mistress Dragonflame. _I think that's it… Basically, just attack my favorites. They're all really good._

**QotC: **_Do you like crossovers? Do you hate them? If you like them, why? If you don't, why?_

_So today is _Tori-da-Mutt_'s birthday and yesterday was _TearsOfTheFallen_'s so that's why I'm updating today. _

_Go review their shit._

_That's all I have for today. I just woke up because my roommate likes to set a really obnoxious alarm that goes off every five minutes._

_I don't even have classes today :'(_

_Bye._


	67. Chapter 67

_Just got back to OSU._

_Today is not a good day for me. At all.  
><em>

_Enjoy if you can.  
><em>

_I don't own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>The last and final day of the festival celebrated the Akatsuki. And I don' t know about you, but I was fucking pumped to be getting some carnival shit and I was excited to see what kind of décor and outfits everyone would wear.<p>

I mean come on… fans of Hidan would be walking around shirtless and covered in blood.

Unlike recently, the Akatsuki actually intended on wearing their cloaks. Ever since we became accepted by society as a mercenary group of morons, the guys have stopped wearing their cloaks as often as they used to because they didn't care about striking fear into the hearts of others and all that jazz.

They wore them now because of the festival and we were all excited and ready to go. Tibby and Sanaa were strangely absent while Cielo looked utterly bored and indifferent as he carried Ash towards the market.

Currently, we were all walking towards the carnival together, planning on separating into partners to keep up the image or something.

Well… at least I wish we did.

Fucking Kakuzu…

**Third Person!**

Hidan cackled madly as Kakuzu drug Alice off, utterly determined to make some money off of her predictions. Alice protested violently the entire time but no matter how hard she fought, she was no match for the massive miser with ninja abilities to harden his skin.

"That poor bitch." Hidan snickered.

Kisame sighed as Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose. Alice was attracting attention and it was only a matter of time before she snapped completely from being hounded by people and killing someone. It's a good thing he managed to convince her to leave Sable with Tiburon.

"Hidan, go with him." Pein ordered. "You two are to stick together."

"I FUCKING HATE YOU, KAKUZU!"

"Oh shut up." Kakuzu grunted.

Pein sighed. "Make it quick; _before_ she does something stupid."

"Got it." Hidan laughed, trotting after his partner. "Hold up, asshole! I'm coming!"

Sasori sighed and shook his head. "Idiots."

Deidara grinned. "I wonder if Alice will make a prediction for me, un."

"You do know she just pulls this shit out of her ass right?" Sasori asked, eyeing his younger partner skeptically. "She doesn't see the future."

"I know, un." Deidara said stubbornly.

Kathryn smiled. "She'll be mad if Kakuzu doesn't let her get the first prize giant Akatsuki."

"She's charged me with getting them." Itachi said dully. "She suspected Kakuzu was going to enforce himself upon her so she begged." He sniffed and looked away. "I hate it when she begs."

Kisame grinned and patted his partner's shoulder. "Her pouting face is almost as bad as Tibby's." He shook his head. "She shouldn't have said yes."

"I don't really think she meant to." Sasori deadpanned.

Earlier that day…

Alice yawned tiredly as she stumbled to the table. She was exhausted. A night of no sleep, a bad back, and lots of drugs did that to you. She noticed, as she got older, it was getting harder and harder to do all of the things she used to.

Hell, she could barely hold Tiburon down when she was tickling him anymore.

She plopped down at the wooden slab and dropped her head on the hard surface.

"Alice." Itachi stated, grabbing her face gently to make sure she didn't hurt herself. "Please don't do that."

"Hn." She grunted, waving his hands away and putting her head back on the table. "I'm tired. Leave me be, Uchiha."

He rolled his eyes. "If you didn't stay up all night you wouldn't be tired. And I know I've asked you to ease up on the amount of painkillers you take. You're not seventeen anymore, Alice."

"Don't call me old, asshole." Alice snapped. "You just sit there and look gorgeous and leave my health to me."

"Al." Kisame sighed, stroking her hair.

"Don't guilt me, Kisame." Alice yawned. "Just get me food so I can try to keep from passing out. The drugs are hitting me weirdly today."

Itachi sighed but got up to get his wife food anyways.

"Hi Hidan-oji!" Tiburon greeted. "Hey Kuzu-oji."

Kakuzu rumpled Tiburon's hair just before Hidan gave him a noogie. "Sup shithead?"

Tiburon protested loudly before tackling Hidan and together they wrestled on the ground.

Itachi stepped over them boredly, carrying food for Alice. "Tiburon, take the dog outside and play with him. He's making the kitchen filthy."

"Fuck you, Uchiha!" Hidan shouted. "Don't you fucking laugh either you masked brat!"

Cielo just shook his head and continued eating with a smirk on his face.

Alice lifted her head off of the table when Itachi said her name and she grunted at the food he set before her. She reached for him blindly, grabbed the collar of his shirt before yanking him down to her level. She turned slightly and kissed him before letting him go. "Love you."

"I love you too, Alice." Itachi sighed, rubbing his forehead.

Sasuke just chuckled and took a drink of his water.

Cielo glanced at Alice. "Are you alright, Alice?"

"Hn." She replied, rumpling his hair gently. "You're too cute. Stop wearing that mask."

"I like it though." He said simply.

She just sighed and gave him a look as she took a drink of her own water. Her attention snapped to the miser as he took a seat from her across the table.

"Alice." Kakuzu greeted.

She dipped her head at him.

"I hope you have reconsidered." Kakuzu stated.

Alice glared at him.

"Where is the crime in making some money?" Kakuzu wondered.

"Selling people false information is a crime." Alice deadpanned.

"I'm a criminal and so are you. It doesn't matter." Kakuzu countered.

Alice shook her head. "Last time I checked, I was cleared of all crimes. I'm as innocent as a baby now."

Kakuzu gave her a look.

She just shrugged.

"Look Alice," Kakuzu began, "do this for me and I'll find you another wolf."

"I have Sable. You can't sway me." Alice stated.

"Sable is getting old." Kakuzu pointed out.

Alice glared at him. "My puppy is _not_ old. She is beautiful, strong, intelligent, and perfect. You will do well to remember it."

Kakuzu opened his mouth to say something but Alice cut him off.

"For Jashin's sake Kakuzu, I said no." Alice sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"A lot." He replied.

"Alright. I'll make you a deal." Alice offered. "The moment Cielo stops wearing that facemask of his for more than an hour, when he isn't eating, I'll help you."

"That isn't a wise offer, Alice." Itachi stated.

Kakuzu held his hand out in Cielo's direction.

Cielo blinked. "What?"

"Facemask boy. Now." Kakuzu ordered. "You're being stripped of it here and now for a least an hour."

Cielo frowned. "I don't want…"

"You have three seconds." Kakuzu growled.

Cielo handed him the facemask.

An hour and twenty minutes later, Kakuzu returned it to him and just smirked knowingly after an Alice who avoided him like the plague.

Now back to present time…

Itachi just sighed. "Let's go, Kisame."

"Fair enough." Kisame shrugged. He trailed after his partner as said Uchiha disappeared into the crowd. Cielo followed after them, splitting off in a different direction.

Deidara looked at Kathryn. "Want to go, un?"

"As long as you're there, I don't care!" She giggled, pulling his hand and Sasori's before dragging them towards the crowd.

"Spare me…" Sasori groaned.

Konan smiled after them before looking at Pein. "Shall we?"

He nodded. "Coming Zetsu?"

"I'm going go find some food. **We'll meet up with you later. **We should probably keep an eye on Alice too… **I personally want to see her break a table with someone's head. Or the other way around.** You're so mean. **Why do you think Alice likes me so much?** It's not you she likes. It's me." Zetsu argued.

Pein just sighed and shook his head. "Come on, Konan."

Konan smiled. "Bye, Zetsu. Have fun and behave."

"See you. **Bye.**" Zetsu threw after them as he sunk into the ground, arguing with himself once again.

* * *

><p>Tiburon raised his eyebrow curiously as he, Sable, Ash, Cielo, Kasai, Kōri, Keru, and Sanaa made their way towards the massing crowd. Shouting was clearly audible from the other side of the crowd.<p>

"Uh…" Sanaa began, eyeing the crowd. "We're not going in there are we?

"Of course we are." Tiburon scoffed, stroking Sable's head gently. "I want to see what's going on."

"I don't need to see to tell you what is happening." Cielo deadpanned, adjusting Ash in his arms. "Can you not recognize the voice?"

Tiburon cocked his head to the side at the same time him companions did. Sable threw her head back and howled along with the shouting at the same time Tiburon scowled.

"Damn it." He sighed.

"I'll fucking kill you, you little slut!" A familiar voice shouted. "How many times do I have to teach you this fucking lesson?!"

"I didn't do anything!" A less familiar but equally loud voice yelped.

"Bullshit!"

"I swear!"

"I sat there and watched you fucking touch him!"

"It wasn't me!"

"You're the only _female_ redheaded slut that I know that goes around groping men who find you repulsive!"

Silence ensued. "You know a man that does that?"

"Say it Alice, and I'll fucking kill you."

"Oh shut up Loofa. I'm pissed off right now. Come here bitch so I can kill you."

Tiburon sighed and shouldered his way through the crowd to see Alice being restrained from Karin by Sasori. Kakuzu stood by, looking thoroughly annoyed that Alice wasn't making him money. Itachi and Kisame stood between the two women, looking utterly exasperated.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Tiburon demanded.

Alice pointed at Karin. "She's a slut."

Tiburon ran a hand over his face. "Why?"

"She's molesting your father." Alice growled.

Itachi face-palmed. "Alice, she barely touched me."

"She still touched you." Alice growled. "I've told her countless times to keep her slutty paws off of my Uchiha. So what does she do? She bats her eyelashes like a blushing whore and falls all over herself onto you so you have to catch her."

"I didn't do it!" Karin said seriously, hiding behind Jūgo and Sasuke. "I swear!"

"Then who else fucking did it?" Alice demanded.

Sasuke sighed. "I know who did."

Alice blinked. "Who?"

Sasuke turned his gaze towards the crowd where a cackling Suigetsu was hiding. "Suigetsu."

"Suigetsu!" Karin screeched, flying towards him.

Suigetsu just laughed louder and took off.

Alice stared after him. "Wait… Suigetsu did that?"

"He wanted you to kill Karin. He's been planning it since the start of the festival." Jūgo deadpanned.

"So I can't kill her?" Alice wondered.

"No." Itachi said seriously.

Alice huffed. "No fun." She shrugged Sasori off of dejectedly. "Let's go make some predictions, Kakuzu."

He patted her head when she walked by him. "Good girl."

Tiburon stared after his mother. "I now understand where I get 99 percent of all of my problems."

"I'd say more like half." Cielo commented. "The others are just because you are you." He chuckled when Tiburon went to punch him and he evaded the blow carefully. He trotted after Alice and bumped shoulders with her lightly.

Alice smiled and hugged him before kissing his cheek. She glanced back at Tiburon. "Do I not get one from you?"

Tiburon sighed and hurried after his mother with Sable at his side. He hugged her tightly but gently, being sure not to hurt her back. Once he released her, he kissed her on the cheek.

Sable came next, rearing up and putting her paws on Alice's shoulders. Alice smiled and praised Sable before rumpling Sable's fur. Sable licked Alice's face, only to receive a gentle kiss on the nose before getting a hug.

When Alice was done, Sable returned her forepaws to the ground. Cielo and Tiburon stood beside her, watching Alice walk back towards the stand with Kakuzu at her side.

Sanaa cocked her head to the side. "Where's mom and dad, Sori-Danna?"

"Hidan-oji's not here either." Tiburon pointed out.

Sasori shrugged. "They're together wherever they are. Kakuzu was getting sick of Hidan so he traded me for him. I obliged willingly."

"Oh!" Sanaa nodded. "Okay!"

"Tiburon, Cielo, you two be home by midnight. Your mother and I aren't staying out late. All of this walking around at the festival keeps her up all night." Itachi stated. "If one of the others decides to stay out longer, we'll talk about you being allowed out later then. That depends on how Alice feels."

Tiburon nodded. "Alright, Dad."

Cielo dipped his head. "Hn."

**First Person Alice!**

I hate Kakuzu.

He's an asshole.

A sexy asshole.

But an asshole all the same.

Kakuzu sat behind me, counting money while Sasori carved puppets as I told some poor sap that he was going to celebrate a live changing event soon. He gasped excitedly when he brought his heavily pregnant wife forward and showed her off.

He then demanded that I give a reading of his baby. Kakuzu demanded more cash, up front, and the guy forked it over only for me to tell him it was going to be a strong boy.

I hope it's a girl.

Lines of people were standing outside the stand Kakuzu had commandeered. All of them were eager to hear the bullshit I was going to feed them.

It made me sick.

I mean sure, I've done some pretty bad things and I hate people with a burning passion. But I hate lying even more. And lying to all of these people was driving me nuts.

"Do you really think I'll be able to find a wife before my 30th birthday?" A man asked.

I sighed, my chin resting in my palm and my elbow propped on the table to keep my head up. "Sure dude. Just keep your eyes peeled for the lucky lady and be smooth. Don't push it too much or it will fail."

He just thanked me with all of his being and walked away.

I glared at Kakuzu. "I fucking hate you."

"Shut up." He said dismissively.

Sasori raised his eyebrow at me. "Are you that concerned your predictions won't come true?"

"I'm pissed because I hate lying to people." I snapped. "If I didn't love you as much as I do, Kakuzu, I'd kill you."

Kakuzu smirked. "It's a good thing you love me then."

I glowered.

Sasori put his puppet away before patting my head. "Calm down, Alice. At least you're not walking around the entire village. This way will be easier on you."

"I'd rather be bedridden than continue to do this." I retorted.

Sasori sighed and looked at Kakuzu. "Are you about done with her?"

"Nope." Kakuzu said smugly.

I stood up. "Well I'm done."

"Sit." He ordered, his threads binding me to the chair.

I groaned. "Kakuzu!"

Sasori cut the binds before picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder. "My turn with her, Kakuzu. You've been hogging her all day. She said she would help you but she never said how long."

"True story." I said thoughtfully. "Sasori, can I walk?"

"Shut up." He told me. "I'm helping you."

I shut my mouth.

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "Sasori."

Sasori waved his hand. "Bye." And then he took off, leaving Kakuzu alone in the stall with a bunch of confused former customers.

I smiled as Sasori set me down in a booth inside a restaurant. "Hungry?"

"A little." I shrugged. "Do you know where everyone else?"

"No doubt Itachi knows we're here and is on his way with Kisame. Zetsu's around, Leader and Konan are off in the more secluded parts of the festival like always, Hidan and Deidara are escorting Kathryn while she shops. The kids are about."

I nodded and leaned back in my seat. "Thanks."

"I hate it when you mope." Sasori informed me.

I pouted. "I do not mope."

"Yes you do." He said boredly.

I glared at him. "I only mope when I have to look at that hideous thing you call your face."

He chuckled. "You wound me."

"Good." I replied. I smiled when I saw the door open and Itachi walked in with Kisame. "Hi babe."

Itachi walked over to me stoically before taking a seat at the table beside me. He kissed me gently before dipping his head in Sasori's direction while Kisame took a seat beside the puppet master.

"Kakuzu released you?" Kisame wondered.

Sasori shook his head. "I kidnapped her. She was beginning to do that one thing where she broods and sulks."

Itachi curled an arm around my waist. "I warned you it would be a bad deal."

"I know." I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. "Whatever. It's over and done with now. Right now, all I want is food, eye candy, and sleep."

"Eye candy?" Sasori asked while Itachi and Kisame rolled their eyes.

"You three are eye candy." I explained. "You are really hot guys for me to drool over while you sit there and just look beautiful."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "I see."

I smiled and looked around as a male waiter came to our table. He greeted Kisame, Sasori, and Itachi politely before giving me a flirtatious smile.

I noticed Itachi's eye twitched at that so I returned his smirk with my own. "Hi."

"Can I get you started with something to drink?" He asked.

"Sweetened tea." Itachi said instantly.

Sasori waved his hand.

Kisame shrugged. "Sake."

The waiter nodded as he mentally noted their choices before he winked at me. "And you, sweetheart?"

I rested my elbows on the table. "Just some water, please."

He grinned at me. "I'll be right back with that."

When he left Itachi glared after him, his Sharingan spinning possessively.

He turned to look at me when he felt my gaze and he raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"You little hypocrite!" I accused. "You bitch at me for glaring at our waitresses for being slutty and practically popping out of their shirt on you. However, when one guy calls me a pet name and smiles at me, you whip out the Sharingan."

Itachi looked away from me stubbornly. "I have no idea what you're talking about. My Sharingan is always activated."

"Bullshit." I deadpanned.

"You're my wife." He replied simply.

"You're my husband." I countered.

Kisame and Sasori both exchanged looks. One obviously amused while the other sarcastically exasperated.

Itachi gave me a look that I returned just as threateningly while our waiter returned.

"Have you decided on something to eat or should I come back in a few minutes." He wondered.

"I'm ready." Kisame shrugged.

"Me too." I admitted. Itachi grunted.

"I want the sea food platter." Kisame told him.

The waiter dipped his head before smiling at me. "And you, beautiful?"

I smiled at his cheesiness and pointed at the menu. "I want the Onigiri with fried rice please."

"Anything for you, sweetie." He told me with a wink.

Itachi cracked the table.

"And you, sir?" He asked, eyeing the table skeptically.

"The same." He said shortly, tightening his grip on me.

Kisame handed him the menus and we waited for our food. We got them in due time and I practically cackled when Itachi was forced to keep himself from killing the waiter. The waiter continuously came over to our table to flirt with me.

I egged him on simply for the pleasure of seeing Itachi squirm.

It's his fault for being a butthead.

Sasori thought it was hilarious.

The waiter blinked curiously when he saw the rings on my finger. "You're married?"

"She is." Itachi growled. "To me."

He looked between us for a moment before blinking. "I recognize you. You're the Seer!"

"Indeed." I sighed.

He chuckled. "Forgive me for not noticing before."

"It's fine. It was nice to talk to someone outside my family who doesn't demand I predict their entire future for them." I shrugged. "We'll take our check."

When he left to go get it, I poked Itachi. "Let's go. I'm not paying for shit here."

Itachi nodded with approval. He took a pen from a passing waitress and a napkin from the table before writing: "Learn to leave a married woman alone, especially in the presence of her husband, and you might get a real tip next time. By the way, stay away from my wife."

I stared at him as he whisked me away from the restaurant. "You are such a hypocrite."

He glanced at me. "I'm not a hypocrite. I just love you."

I smile, kissing him. "I love you too, dork."

We walked quietly down the street together for a time before I glanced at him. "You did get me my plushies, didn't you?"

He sighed and nodded. "Yes dear."

I smiled. "Good boy."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_I got a speeding ticket today. I was going 82 in a 65. The cop that pulled me over looked like Channing Tatum._

Answer: _Crossovers are okay. It depends on what's being used and how well it's written._

**QotC:** _What's the longest you've ever been away from home?_**  
><strong>

_I have another story thie : / www .wattpad story/ 449278-the- kitty- kurse/  
><em>

_Her account on here is Saku0chan. u/2944607/  
><em>

_In order to report, you have to have an account. _

_This is starting to get fucking ridiculous and it's pissing me off. Do I need to take down my shit and stop writing? Because I will. Then you little fucks who keep stealing my shit won't have any material to go off of and then everyone will hate you and see that you're an uncreative little fucker who lacks the ability to write a page of dialogue and detail. I mean honestly, get your own fucking ideas and stuff. It's pretty fucking obvious when your entire story is written identical to my own minus the names and a few sentences of dialogue. I could truly shit alphabet soup and write a better story than the little whores who think it's okay to steal mine. Neither of them are creative, the little blurbs of their own written pieces are complete shit when it comes to fluidity, grammar, and spelling. And the stuff of mine they've edited completely lacks any sort of structure. They forget to capitalize names and leave spaces between commas and periods.  
><em>

_I was already in a bad mood because I had to leave my dogs again, the cop didn't help, and then I see that I have another fucking thief stealing my shit. It's been a long time since I've been this fucking pissed. I'm seconds away from snapping and killing something or just taking down all of my fucking stories to leave you shitheads with nothing. And believe me, I'll fucking do it too.  
><em>

_No, I'm not directing the insults at you readers who have supported these stories and been utterly loyal. You guys are awesome so don't feel as if this is directed at you. It's not.  
><em>


	68. Chapter 68

_Here is chapter 68, ladies and gents._

_I hope you enjoy it because this story will be finished sooner than you might think._

_I don't own Naruto.  
><em>

_Enjoy._

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Kathryn!<strong>

I hummed to myself as I cooked breakfast, which I now know how to do thanks to Alice. Deidara was in the shower, getting ready for the day and Danna was outside, meditating. I knew Sanaa was up, but what she was doing, I wasn't sure.

Just as I thought that though, she came skipping into the living room. "Morning, Mommy."

"Hi baby." I greeted, turning away from the pancakes long enough to hug her and give her a good morning kiss on the cheek. "You look cute!"

She was wearing the standard, black Shinobi pants with the bandages around her ankles and a cute blue top that exposed just enough skin to be sexy, but covered enough to be appropriate to wear around family.

She beamed. "Thank you. You look pretty too, Mom."

I smiled at her. "Not as pretty as you."

She rolled her eyes with a smile and went to the table. "Whatever, Mom."

I looked at her for a minute as I made pancakes, noticing how she just smiled as she went off into space. She seemed much more cheerful than usual, and that's saying a lot. I shrugged off my curiosity, satisfied that she was happy.

As I finished breakfast, Deidara came in. He wore his usual attire of Shinobi pants and his partially fishnet belly shirt thing. He walked over to me with that sexy, drool-inducing cocky smirk on his face, and he wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me fully.

"Morning, un." He stated.

I smiled at him, kissing his nose. "Hi Dei." I offered him a plate. "Here's breakfast."

"Thanks for the food, yeah." He stated, thanking me again with a kiss before going to the table. I made Sanaa and myself a plate before going to the table. I gave Sanaa hers and dug into mine.

Danna came in a few moments later and sat across from me and in between Sanaa and Deidara at our four-person table.

"Hi Sori-Danna." Sanaa greeted.

Danna dipped his head at her. "Good morning, Sanaa." He raised his eyebrow. "You seem particularly cheerful today."

She shrugged. "It's just a good day."

"Why's that, hmm?" Deidara wondered.

"I dunno. I just woke up in a good mood." Sanaa admitted with a smile.

"I love that feeling." I announced, smiling. "It always seems to make my days so much fun." I giggled. "Though, that might be because whenever I got that feeling, Alice was always in a pissy mood and I had fun aggravating her."

Sanaa giggled while Deidara laughed and Danna smirked.

Danna made to comment but was cut off by a loud slam.

"TIBURON SHISUI UCHIHA!"

"I didn't do it, Mom!"

"You're such a liar you little brat!"

I smiled. "Looks like Alice and the others are up."

"Well if they weren't before, they are now." Danna mused.

"It sounds like Alice is in one of her moods, un." Dei pointed out.

I stood. "I'll go see." I skipped to the front door and opened it to see Tibby hiding behind Kisame while Itachi held Alice still. "What's going on, guys?"

"That little brat set a trap for me." Alice snarled, pointing at Tibby.

"I didn't do it!" Tibby stressed. "I swear I didn't."

Alice glared at him. "Who else would have done it?"

"Naruto did it." Cielo stated from his spot on the porch. "However, it was meant for Sasuke-sensei, not you."

Sasuke, who was standing beside Cielo, sighed. "That moron."

Alice looked at Cielo before taking a deep breath. Itachi let her go, sensing her calming down. When he let her go, Alice took her sword from him that he had confiscated and whistled for Sable.

"Where are you going?" Itachi asked.

"To kill a Kyūbi container." Alice informed him.

I waved. "Have fun, Momma."

She ignored me, opting to go kill Naruto and ignoring Itachi's attempts to soothe her.

Tibby exhaled loudly, thankful to no longer be his angry mother's target, before looking at me. "What are you doing up this early, Kitty?"

"I always get up this early." I told him. "But I make breakfast and stuff for Dei, Sanaa, and Danna."

Kisame raised his eyebrow. "You can cook?"

"Alice taught me how." I nodded proudly.

Kisame grinned. "Cook for me sometime. I bet you're good at it."

Kisame is so sweet.

I smiled at him. "Okay."

"Where's Sanaa?" Cielo asked.

"Right here!" Sanaa chirped, sliding out of the house like the ninja she is. She hopped down the steps and over to Tiburon and Cielo. "Hi guys."

Both of them gave her looks of disapproval. She just stuck her tongue out at them.

I cocked my head to the side, confused.

"Hey, Kisa, do you care if we go wander around Konoha?" Tibby asked.

Kisame shrugged. "I don't care. Look for your dad and ask him though."

"Alright." Tibby nodded. "Sanaa, go ask Kitty and Dei."

Sanaa looked around at me. "Mommy, can I go with Tibby and Cielo?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but check in around lunch time, okay?"

She bobbed her head. "Kay!"

When they hurried away, Kisame looked at me. "I wonder what's up with them."

"Your guess is as good as mine, Kisame." I shrugged. "We'll get it out of them later."

He smirked. "I look forward to it."

I smiled at him and watched him and Sasuke head to one of the training grounds together. I remained where I was until I felt the familiar, strong arms of my Dei wrap around my waist.

He kissed my cheek. "Hey babe, un."

I smiled and leaned back into him. "Hmm?"

"Wanna go for a walk around the village, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"As long as I'm with you, I don't care where we go." I told him.

He smirked. "Good, un."

I giggled. "You're so cute, un."

He huffed. "Don't make fun of me, yeah."

"I'm not, un." I teased.

He pouted.

"Will you two get out of here?" Danna demanded as he exited the house. "Your gooeyness is driving me insane."

I darted over to Danna and hugged him. "We love you too, Danna."

He shooed me away. "Go."

"Kay." I chirped. "Come on, Dei."

He took my hand and pulled me away, leaving the Uchiha district behind so we could be 'gooey'.

I love the Akatsuki.

**First Person Alice!**

After abusing Naruto, Itachi and I ran across Kakashi who informed us that the Kage wanted to see me privately. So after making out with my husband for a minute, we went our separate ways and I headed for the Tower, mentally begging that Pein wasn't there to kill me.

Sure enough, when I walked in the meeting chambers, he was sitting in his usual seat, a look of pure disapproval on his face.

I pouted.

"What's with the long face?" Mei asked.

"Pein is going to kill me." I sighed, sitting beside him. Sable took her place on the floor at my feet, her head resting in my lap because she was that huge. When Pein turned his head to narrow his eyes at me I cowered. "Be gentle."

He walloped me in the back of the head.

"Ouch! Motherfucker!" I swore, holding my head. "Did you have to hit so hard?"

"Stop acting like a child." He scolded.

I glared at him. "Let me hit you and then you can tell me to quit acting like a kid."

He rolled his eyes.

I frowned. "Where is Itachi to defend me when I need him?"

"He's in trouble too." Pein snapped.

"Well fuck." I sighed and waved at the Kage. "Let's get this scolding session over with."

"Scolding session?" Tsunade repeated. "Whoever told you we scolding you?"

I gestured at Pein. "Was the headshot not a precursor to a scolding assembly?

"No." Gaara stated. "I'm actually curious as to why he hit you."

I raised my eyebrow. "Uh…?"

Pein crossed his arms. "She broke Jun's nose."

All of them looked at me.

"He started it!" I protested. "He was going to hit me first, but I punched him in the face. Itachi was there. Ask him!"

"Good job." Tsunade stated. "I never liked him anyways."

"Me neither." Mei agreed.

I stuck my tongue out at Pein. "Ha! Take that, Pein-in-my-ass!"

When he glared at me, I darted out of my seat and hid behind Gaara. "Protect me with your sand!"

Gaara looked both confused and amused.

"Sit down, Alice." Pein sighed.

I obeyed him and looked over the Kage. "So… what did you guys call me here for?"

"We need your help in coming up with a plan to gather as much information about Shi. With your information and your collaboration with Shikamaru, we were able to figure out their next target and we've made preparations to stop them. However, that doesn't mean we will catch them or learn anything from them." Ōnoki explained.

"So what did you have in mind?" I asked.

"We were thinking… espionage." Black Kage stated.

I raised my eyebrow. "Like what? Making someone sit near the target area and spy on any suspicious people?"

"No." Tsunade stated, shaking her head. "More like, undercover agent."

"Alright… but who would you send in?" I asked. "And why exactly are you asking me?"

"We want you to infiltrate." Ōnoki stated.

I blinked. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Pein sighed. "And here she goes."

I looked at Tsunade. "Do you remember what happened the last time someone kidnapped me? And you can't expect _the Akatsuki_ of all people, to be okay with me going into enemy territory. Also, if you don't remember, Shi poisoned me. I'm pretty sure they know what I look like. I'm in the bingo book for Jashin's sake!"

"What about Kathryn then?" Mei asked.

"There is no way in fucking Hell would I _ever_ let Kathryn near so much danger. You'd have to kill me." I stated. "Also, Sasori and Deidara would bring the land of fire to the ground before they let Kathryn get a slap on the wrist for something, let alone go somewhere dangerous."

"Well, who do you suggest then?" Black Kage asked. "You and Kathryn are the only two people I know of who can withstand mind infiltration of the highest degree."

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"She will go." Pein announced.

I looked at him. "I will?"

"Yes, you will. As a member of my organization, you are required to follow my orders. I order you to go." Pein confirmed. When I sighed, he crossed his arms. "I will handle the others."

I scoffed. "Good luck with that."

"We will arrange it so Shi kidnaps you rather than you just disappearing. We know they want you for your predictions. They've sent demands a few times so we will not have to worry about them killing you. You go in, stay long enough for us to track their location, then we break you out." Pein informed me. "However, I do not like the idea of you going in alone, and you do need a method to respond to us just in case your phone is… unavailable."

I frowned. "You had better not be thinking what I think you are."

"Cielo will go with you, but he will not be a captive. Instead, he will be a member of Shi." Pein stated. "I've already discussed this with him."

"And you expect me to be okay with putting a boy who is like a son to me in danger?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. "You're dumber than you look."

"Tiburon looks too much like Itachi." Pein excused. "It was either Cielo, or Sanaa. Cielo demanded to be the one to go."

I glared. "I ought to kill you."

"You will learn to live with it." Pein stated.

I sighed. "Whatever. When?"

"We have detected some suspicious movement around Taki. So, we will send you on a mission with Zetsu to 'apologize' to Jun for breaking his nose. That is when the kidnapping will happen. Hopefully, Cielo is a member of Shi by that time." Black Kage stated.

I frowned. "Why don't you just have Zetsu track them down?"

"Because Zetsu doesn't know who he's supposed to be looking for. If you are in their headquarters, he will be able to sense you because you are one of the two beings in this world that lack chakra. Also, Zetsu is the one getting us almost all of our information about Shi. I can't send just Cielo because if he becomes a member, it will be hard for him to get out. Not to mention, I don't want him in there alone." Pein stated. "And if you're worried about Cielo being recognized, do not worry. He had a very good cover story. Honestly, the kid was born to be a spy."

"If Cielo suffers so much as a scratch," I began, "I swear to you I will rip those piercings out of that body, and shove them down _your_ throat until you shit metal."

"Cielo is very capable." Pein soothed. He squeezed my shoulder. "For now, let us plan."

* * *

><p>When I returned to the house after hours of planning, I instantly went to the back yard. I found the person I was looking for and I jerked him into a hug. I stroked his silky black hair and sighed tiredly.<p>

Cielo sighed too and returned the hug. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"It's okay, sweetie." I stated. "Just, swear you'll be careful?"

"I will." He promised.

I pet him for a little while longer before releasing him. "Tonight?"

He nodded

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Whatever you want." He glanced at me. "I wonder what everyone will think of my disappearance."

"I think Pein planned on telling them that you went to visit your family." I told him.

He frowned. "How can I visit people I live with?"

I smiled and hugged him again. "You're so cute."

He smiled too. "That is a good excuse, however."

"I thought so too." I agreed. "So, we need to discuss your cover story."

"Later." He acceded. "Itachi is coming."

I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at my husband when he walked through the back door, still holding Cielo. Said weasel had a frown on his face but it lifted slightly when he saw my smile. "What's up, babe?"

"I do not agree with Pein making you go to Kusa with Zetsu to apologize to Kusa's leader." Itachi stated.

I sighed and pet Cielo's head. "Stupid people with authority."

Itachi sat beside me and kissed the side of my head. "He refused to let me go with you."

"Probably because you would kill Jun if he said something to me. Zetsu will hold me back and have restraint." I mused.

Itachi rested his head against mine. "When do you leave?"

"Next week." I told him.

"So why are you smothering Cielo?" Itachi asked.

Cielo chuckled.

"Because he's freaking adorable and I love him." I admitted, kissing Cielo's head.

"I love you too, Alice." Cielo assured me.

I smiled and looked at Itachi. "See?" Itachi merely chuckled.

After assuring Cielo I loved him a shit ton, I released him and a few moments later, he spouted off some excuse about needing to beat up Tiburon so he could leave. I knew it was his way of leaving Itachi and I without giving anything away to Itachi. I also knew that Cielo was going to spend time with Sanaa and Tiburon before he left.

I sat on the porch with Itachi for a time, my head resting on his shoulder while his head was tilted to rest on mine. I'm not sure how long we sat there, but at some point, my biological clock went off and I got up to go and start on dinner. Itachi remained where he was, intent on meditating in the cool breeze.

I trailed into the kitchen and got started. About halfway through making the food, Tiburon meandered into the kitchen. I, however, was so occupied by the mechanical motions of making food as well as burdened by the troublesome thoughts of what would soon be happening that I didn't even notice.

**Third Person!**

"Mom." Tiburon stated. He sighed when she didn't answer him. "Mom." When he got no response, he frowned and crossed his arms. "Mother! Mom! Mommy. Mama. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom, the house is on fire. Mom, Kitty broke her leg. MOM!" He glared when she continued to ignore him. "Mom, I have a confession to make. I'm gay."

She continued to ignore him.

"Damn woman." He sighed. "MOOOOOM!"

Alice wheeled around. "What, Tiburon?!"

"Answer me the first time and I won't do that." He frowned.

"I'm _busy_." She snarled. She paused. "Wait, did you just say you were gay?"

Tiburon sighed dramatically. "I've been in love with Cielo for years."

Alice stared at him for a minute before shrugging. "Okay."

Tiburon blinked. "Wait… What? Why aren't you pissed?"

She raised her eyebrow at him. "You expected me to be?"

"… Yeah." He nodded.

"Tiburon, you're my son. Whether you like dude, chicks, or inanimate objects is your choice. I'll still love you regardless." Alice told him. "Besides, I like guys too. I understand your choice completely."

Tiburon sighed. "Mom, I'm not gay."

"I know." She stated with a smirk. "Just because I don't answer you or acknowledge you at first doesn't mean I'm not listening. I heard you call me the first time."

"But if I was, would you kill me?" Tiburon asked.

"Of course not." Alice scoffed. "You'll always be my baby no matter what." She smirked. "Besides, two of my best friends back in Ohio were gay and I loved them to death."

Tiburon shook his head. "You're so weird."

"Tell me something I don't know, baby." Alice stated.

Tiburon sat at the table and dropped his head on the flat surface. "My body hurts like a bitch. Sori-Danna is such an asshole when it comes to training." His hands snapped up to cover his mouth and he paled when his mom turned around to glare at him.

"Sanaa has a boyfriend." Tiburon said quickly, trying to distract her as she began stalking towards him with a wooden spoon.

Alice blinked, clearly distracted. "What did you just say to me?"

Tiburon cleared his throat and repeated himself in a hushed voice.

Alice frowned. "One more time, Tiburon. Speak clearly."

Tiburon sighed. "Sanaa has a boyfriend."

"So you two made it official?" Alice asked.

"It's not me, Mom." Tiburon deadpanned.

Alice nodded before pausing. "What?"

"I'm not her boyfriend." Tiburon sighed.

"Do Sasori and Deidara know?" Alice asked.

Tiburon shook his head. "Nope. And I didn't tell you anything."

Alice sighed. "This is exactly the shit I need right now." She ran a hand over her face. "Who is it?"

"Not telling." Tiburon chirped. He kissed Alice's cheek. "By the way, I came in here to tell you that Hidan-oji, Pein, Konan, Zetsu, and Kuzu-oji are going out to eat so you don't have to send them food. And I'm sorry for cussing!"

Alice stared after him as he hurried out of the room. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Fuck my life."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>__There are only five more chapters of this story unless I decide to add in a few more._

Answer: _A month._

**QotC: **_What do you guys think about Sasuke? Do you like him? Do you hate him? Do you think he's a whiny little brat or are his behavior and actions justified?_

_I am so ready for this story to be over. I just finished up typing the last chapter last night. I am not really okay with having only 73 chapters, so I might add in two or something to make it 75. I'm really OCD like that._

_Though, that depends on how busy I am and my mood._

_Toodles  
><em>


	69. Chapter 69

_69th chapter... *snicker*  
><em>

_I can only ask for forgiveness._

_Enjoy my dears._

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

The next morning, Cielo was gone. It was like a part of my soul had been destroyed when I went into his room the next morning to see it was completely empty. It was like he had never gone in there. The only thing left of his was Ash.

Ash was sleeping there soundlessly on his bed, curled around one of Cielo's shirts. I sighed dejectedly and walked inside the room, picking Ash up. "Come on, Ash."

Ash didn't protest. Instead he just let me pick him up and carry him out of the room. I carried him to the kitchen and put him in Sable's pet bed with Sable. She licked the shell of his ear and moved slightly to give him room to cuddle up next to her.

I smiled at their cuteness before making a quick and lazy breakfast for myself since Tiburon and Sasuke had gone to train. Itachi and Kisame had left a few hours ago because they had to do something for Pein. Sort of like a mini-mission.

One I made dinner, I ate and then cleaned up my mess. I left Sable and Ash to cuddle because I didn't want to disturb them before leaving the manor and going across the street without a care in the world. I walked into the house across from the Uchiha manor without knocking and I located Sasori in the living room.

He glanced at me. "Cielo left last night."

"I know." I nodded.

He frowned. "I was unaware he was going to see his clan."

"Yeah, Pein told him yesterday and Cielo left last night to avoid drama." I lied.

Sasori dipped his head in understanding and raised his eyebrow at me. "What brings you here?"

"Where's Dei?" I asked.

"Backyard." Sasori informed me. "He's doing his morning routine."

I nodded. "Come with me. I need to talk to you two."

"Alright." He sighed, getting to his feet to follow me. When we reached the backyard, he raised his eyebrow at me. "What did you want to tell us?"

I gave him a look. "Wait for Deidara, Mr. Impatient." I walked off the porch and grabbed Deidara's shoulder since he was meditating in the middle of the yard. He blinked and looked around at me. "Hey Dei."

He gave me a cocky grin. "Hey Alice, un. What are you doing here so early, yeah?"

"I need to talk to you and Sasori." I told him. "Go sit down on the porch so I can look at you both."

He obeyed me and sat on the porch beside Sasori. Both of them looked curious.

"First off, where's Sanaa?" I asked.

"Training with Tibby and Sasuke, un." Deidara told me. "Why yeah?"

"What I have to say pertains to her." I informed him. Instantly, Sasori frowned. I took a deep breath and braced myself for an outburst. "Sanaa has a boyfriend, and he isn't Tiburon."

They stared at me.

"What?" Sasori asked, shaking his head a little as if he didn't hear me. "Come again?"

"Sanaa has a boyfriend. And it isn't Tiburon." I said slowly.

Deidara sat there in an eerie silence while Sasori narrowed his eyes at me. "What is his name? Where does he live? I want information on this kid down to what kind of soap he uses." Sasori stood up, looking furious. "I will make art out of his body."

Sasori went off on a tangent of his art and what he was going to do to this kid. I ignored him in favor of watching Deidara. He hadn't said a word. In fact, he hadn't moved since I told them. He just sat there, staring off into space.

I pressed my hand to Sasori's mouth to shut him up, my attention locked on Deidara. "Hush Loofa. I think Deidara is broken."

Sasori looked around and Deidara and smacked the back of his head. "Brat! Snap out of it. We're discussing your daughter and her… _boyfriend._" He said the word like it was a curse.

However, what he said did the trick.

Deidara exploded.

I swear there were mini explosions in his eyes. That's how angry he was.

"SANAA!" He shouted, zipping to the back door and knocking it off its hinges in his quest for boyfriend blood. He stormed through the house with anger that I have _never_ seen him display before. To be honest, it was rather frightening. "COME HERE! _NOW!_"

He wasn't using his verbal tick.

That in itself spelled danger.

I glanced to my left out of the corner of my eye and at Sasori as he took a place at my side. "He's going to blow the village up isn't he?"

"Most likely." Sasori deadpanned.

I sighed deeply. "Let's go restrain him before he pisses the Kage off."

Sasori chuckled. "I feel bad for whoever this kid is."

"Me too. Once you two are done with him, there'll be nothing left." I smirked.

Sasori shrugged. "That will teach males to keep their hands off of my brat."

**Third Person!**

Elsewhere…

Kōri shivered as he exited his apartment. He could feel the chilling sensation of murderous intent lingering in the air and he felt the hair on the back of his neck stick up. For some reason, he felt as though it was being directed at him.

Because Kōri was a smart boy with enough self-preservation to not stupidly risk his life, he unlocked his front door and went back inside. He would just tell his sensei he didn't feel well.

After all, the shogi game could wait until a cloudier day.

"SANAA!" Deidara yelled, storming onto the main street of the Uchiha compound. Sanaa was currently training in the private Uchiha training grounds with Tiburon and Sasuke.

Sanaa jogged onto the street, Sasuke and Tiburon behind her, her hair bouncing in the long ponytail she kept it in. "What's wrong daddy?" She froze a bit at his livid expression.

"Who is he, Sanaa?" Deidara snarled. "Where is he? What is his name? Where does he live? _Answer me, Sanaa._"

Sanaa backed away from Deidara as he began stalking towards her. "Daddy… what are you talking about?"

"WHO IS IT?!" Deidara shouted.

"Dei." Kathryn asked, hurrying out of the house because of the raised voices. "What is wrong with you?"

Deidara looked around at Kathryn. "She has a…_**boyfriend**_!"

Kathryn blinked and looked at Sanaa. "You do?"

Sanaa rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. "Uh… kinda…"

Deidara snapped. "I'll send him to Hell!" His hands spat out clay. "Tell me who he is, Sanaa. _Now_!"

Sanaa's eyes widened. "Dad… don't blow that up here! We're not at home!"

"You have ten seconds." Deidara snarled, molding the clay.

Kathryn gawked. "Deidara!"

"Nine seconds." He growled.

Kathryn yelled his name but Deidara didn't hear her. She made to do it again, but was grabbed by Sasori a second later just as Sanaa was grabbed by Zetsu and pulled underground.

Seven seconds later, that part of the street exploded.

"Deidara!" Kathryn screamed as Sasori pulled her inside the house.

"He's fine." Sasori soothed. "He wasn't in any danger the entire time. He knew Zetsu and I were there, that's why he blew it up. He would never put you two in danger."

Deidara stormed into the house. "ZETSU! Bring her here! Now!"

"Don't be such a jerk about it. **I'm not your slave, Blondie.** You're scaring Sanaa, Deidara." Zetsu told him, releasing Sanaa from his flytrap.

Sasori instantly winced when he saw Sanaa.

She was crying.

Deidara's angry aura shattered almost instantly. "Sanaa un?" He stepped closer to her but she whimpered. He froze, wishing he could go back five minutes to redo the entire situation.

His baby should never be crying.

She should never be scared.

Especially of him.

"I'm s-sorry D-daddy." Sanaa cried. "I-I d-didn't know you were g-going t-to b-be so angry, yeah." She wrapped her arms around her stomach and went to her knees. "I-I'm sorry yeah."

Deidara walked over to Sanaa and knelt in front of her. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head while she cried into his shirt. "I'm not mad at you baby. I could never be mad at you, yeah."

She shivered. "I'll never have a boyfriend, yeah! If it makes you angry I'll never look at boys."

Kathryn put her hands on her hips and glared down at her husband. "Deidara, you should be ashamed of yourself. How could you scare her like that? She's a teenage girl. She is going to have boyfriends whether you like it or not. You can't freak out like that."

Deidara winced. "I couldn't help it, un."

Sasori sighed. "Brats." He placed a hand on Kathryn's shoulder to calm her. "Sanaa, your dad isn't mad at you. We're just a little overprotective. We don't trust anyone with you so… we're a bit impulsive. Don't cry. Your father loves you very much and he didn't mean to scare you."

Deidara hugged Sanaa. "I'm sorry I scared you baby, yeah. I love you with all my heart and I would _never_ hurt you or anything close to that. I'm sorry, un."

She sniffed and hugged Deidara tighter. "It's okay Daddy."

"You know, I find this situation adorable and all, but I hope you realize how pissed off Kakuzu and Pein are going to be when they see the fucking crater that takes up the center of the street. And I honestly think Sasuke wants to rip your head off." Alice stated with a smirk as she leaned in the doorway.

"You're not pissed?" Sasori asked. "And why would Kakuzu be pissed?"

Alice scoffed. "Oh I am. But I think Deidara received enough punishment just now."

Sasuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Deidara. You're paying for that."

"That is why Kakuzu would be pissed." Alice commented with a smirk. "By the way, Deidara, if you ever make Sanaa cry again, I'll rip your hands off."

Deidara nodded and stroked his daughter's hair. "I'll do it for you, un."

"That was badass." Tiburon commented, poking his head in the house after Sasuke walked in. "I've never seen Dei get so angry."

"Tiburon, watch your mouth." Alice scolded.

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Yes Mom."

**First Person Alice!**

The next day…

"Is there a reason there is a massive crater in the middle of the street?" Itachi asked as he walked into our bedroom.

Kisame poked his head in. "Has anyone with a temper seen that?"

I hugged Itachi and kissed him fully before smiling. "Deidara got angry. And yes, Kakuzu, Pein, and the village know. However, Pein didn't even bother to reprimand Deidara yesterday. Kakuzu threatened to castrate him because Sasuke's making Deidara pay for it."

Itachi lifted his eyebrow. "Why has Pein not scolded him?"

"Deidara can be a little scary when he gets as angry as he was yesterday." I admitted, hugging Kisame.

"Why was he so angry?" Kisame wondered.

"Sanaa has a boyfriend and he isn't Tiburon." I smirked.

Itachi's eye twitched and Kisame frowned.

"Who is he?" They both asked in unison.

I blinked. "Wow. All of you men are ridiculous. It's a boyfriend, for a thirteen year old. Chill."

"You would do the same if Tiburon had a girlfriend." Itachi stated.

"That's different. He's my son." I sniffed.

Kisame shrugged. "We just want to help Deidara find the kid."

I scoffed. "If you saw how angry he was yesterday, you'd help the kid hide."

"I highly doubt it." Itachi said calmly. "Tiburon should know."

"He's sleeping." I told my weasel as he made towards Tiburon's room.

Itachi shrugged. "I've always talked about teaching Tiburon to be an early riser."

"Good luck." I told him.

"Kisame." Itachi called.

Kisame rumpled my hair. "Coming."

I followed after them and stood in Tiburon's doorway. Itachi walked over to Tiburon's bed and he loomed over our son.

"Tiburon." Itachi said firmly.

Tiburon shifted in his sleep and turned over.

"Tiburon. Wake up." Itachi stated.

My baby muttered something unintelligible and buried his face into his pillow.

Itachi tugged on his hair and ripped the blankets off of him.

Tiburon pulled his sheets over him and smacked Itachi's hand away.

"Kisame." Itachi said, finally finished with trying to wake Tiburon up. "Get him up."

Kisame grinned. "Water style…"

"I'M UP!" Tiburon said immediately, sitting up straight.

Kisame snickered. "Works every time."

Tiburon threw a grin at the shark man before his grin faded. He looked up into Itachi's blazing Sharingan and paled a little. "Uh… Hi Dad. Welcome home. I missed you."

Itachi bent closer to Tiburon, putting his face inches from our son's. "I missed you as well, Tiburon."

"Did you need something?" Tibby asked, unnerved by his father's close proximity.

"Who is Sanaa's boyfriend?" Itachi wondered.

Tiburon bit his lip, immediately moving his upper lip to play with one of his lip piercings. "I… can't say."

Itachi raised his eyebrow. "And why not?"

"Because Sanaa begged me not to." Tiburon muttered.

Itachi straightened up. "Tiburon."

Tiburon clamped a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes. "I'm not telling."

When Itachi's Sharingan began whirling, I glared. "You use Genjutsu on my baby and I swear I will gouge out those gorgeous eyes of yours Itachi Uchiha."

Itachi looked at me. "Alice."

"Itachi." I said coldly. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "_No_."

"_Alice._" He said.

"_Itachi_." I snarled. "I'll give you thirty seconds to deactivate that Sharingan around my baby or so help me, you'll be sleeping on the floor in the living room for the next week. And you might just lose one of your legs." I narrowed my eyes. "And I don't mean either of the ones you use to walk."

Kisame winced while Tiburon gulped and hissed in pain at the thought. "Ouch."

Itachi sighed and deactivated his Sharingan. "Alice."

I narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"I would never use such an advanced Genjutsu on Tiburon." Itachi soothed. "I was using it merely as an empty, playful threat."

I crossed my arms. "Well don't do it." I looked at Tiburon who had opened his eyes to watch me as soon as I yelled at his father. "Come here, Tibby."

Tiburon got up from bed and walked over to me. He smiled a bit when I hugged him and he returned the gesture, chuckling when I began petting him. "It's alright Mom. I knew Dad was just playing around. I could tell by his chakra."

"Good." I stated. I pet him gently and kissed his hair. "Itachi, I'm not mad at you anymore and I'm sorry for yelling at you."

He chuckled. "It's alright Alice. I'm more relieved that Tiburon has such a caring mother than I am anything else. Though, I am a little offended that you would think I would actually hurt Tiburon."

I shrugged. "You ninjas are dumb."

"My mother used to act just like that. She threatened to castrate my father when he was threatening me to try and get my Sharingan to activate." Itachi told me, kissing my head as he suddenly appeared behind me.

I sighed. "Most women would be a little put off by being compared to their mother-in-law. But, since your mother was such a nice, beautiful woman, I can't say I can complain." I made a face. "Though, she did marry Fugaku."

Itachi raised his eyebrow at me. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Your dad had a stick up his ass further than Sasuke does." I deadpanned.

Itachi snorted with amusement.

"You guys missed Dei's freak out yesterday." Tiburon snickered. "It was so cool and yet he was a little scary."

"How did you get him to calm down?" Kisame asked.

"He scared Sanaa and when she started crying, he immediately calmed." I explained. "It was actually rather cute."

"Do Deidara and Sasori know who her boyfriend is?" Itachi asked.

I shook my head. "Sanaa refuses to tell them and Kathryn has forbidden them from bothering her about it. She put her foot down."

Itachi frowned. "How did you all find out about Sanaa's boyfriend?"

"Tiburon told me and I told Sasori and Deidara." I stated.

Kisame and Itachi looked at Tiburon.

Tiburon gave them an innocent smile before teleporting from the room.

Itachi sighed. "Let's go, Kisame."

Kisame grinned. "Coming."

"Where are you two going?" I asked.

"To interrogate Tiburon." Kisame told me.

I rolled my eyes and followed after them. "Men."

We trailed to the street, walking around the crater, and entered the house of artists. Tiburon was hiding behind Sanaa, shaking her at Itachi as he came into the room. "Back! Back I say!"

Sanaa just giggled.

"Put the blonde girl down, Tiburon." Kisame scolded. "We're just going to… talk."

"Talk my ass." Tiburon scoffed. He looked at me. "Sorry Mom."

Sasori shouldered me. "What are they doing?"

"They're trying to interrogate Tiburon about the identity of Sanaa's boyfriend." I deadpanned.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "What makes you think Tiburon knows who he is?"

Itachi looked back at Sasori. "How do you think Alice figured out Sanaa had a boyfriend?"

Sanaa glared at Tiburon. "You told Icy?!"

"She was going to beat me." Tiburon excused. "I had to get her attention off of me."

Sanaa crossed her arms and looked at me. "Well Icy, Tibby has a girlfriend too yeah!"

I snapped the little wooden decorative item I had picked up. "Excuse me?"

Tiburon gave me a sheepish smile. "She's lying?"

"You have three seconds to give me a name." I snarled.

I knew what little teenage whores were like. All they wanted was someone to show off and when they were done with you or got tired of the same thing, they would toss their boyfriend to the side no matter how perfect they were. I can't tell you how many times I was the shoulder for my guy friends to cry on when their girlfriends dumped them.

And I can't tell you how many girls I beat the shit out of for hurting my friends.

There was no fucking way I'd ever let my boy be hurt like that by some skank.

I'd kill her.

"Fuck you, Sanaa." Tiburon snapped. "My mom is ten times more insane than your parents are combined."

"My dad has hand mouths that spit explosive clay yeah!" Sanaa barked. "And Sori-Danna kills people for looking at me wrong."

"Yeah, but my mom has basically the entire Akatsuki at her disposal and she's too nuts for my dad to handle." Tiburon sighed. "If Kitty says no, Dei immediately stops his attack!"

"Your three seconds are up, Tiburon." I growled.

Tiburon yelped and disappeared again.

"Someone find him and bring him to me. I'll kill his slut of a girlfriend right here and now." I ordered.

"She's actually really nice, Icy. She's kind of nerdy." Sanaa pointed out.

"Unless his girlfriend is you, Sanaa, I'm not okay with anyone." I told her.

She huffed.

"I'm not even okay with Tiburon being your boyfriend, yeah." Deidara added from the couch. "I'd kill him too, un."

I glared at Deidara. "I dare you to fucking try it, you blond bitch."

Deidara jumped to his feet and pointed at me. "Don't even start, slut yeah."

"Bring it, whore." I growled.

Sasori, Kisame, Sanaa, Kathryn, and Itachi sighed as Deidara and I lunged at each other.

Sasori ran a hand through his hair. "I had thought they would have grown out of this by now."

Itachi glanced at him. "I had hoped they would just be too lazy."

Kisame chuckled. "I've actually been waiting for this to happen. It's been too long since their last battle."

"Two weeks is not too long." Sasori barked.

Kathryn giggled. "For Alice and Dei it is."

Sanaa sighed and walked out of the room to go and find Tiburon. "Why are our parents so easily distracted?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>__Dani has been super busy and extremely sick. I'm not allowed to bring up most of my medication because they violate school rules and shit so I've been in severe pain and basically unfit to be around people. I've been suffering from withdraws and I'm just not finally able to look at something without wanting to pass out because of headaches._

Answer: _I think Sasuke's a whiny bitch, but I love him._

**QotC: **_I don't remember if I've asked this exact question, but I'm doing it again: What is your all-time favorite anime ever? If Naruto is your favorite, what's your second favorite?_

_I really am sorry about how long it took to post this._


	70. Chapter 70

_Chapter 70 está aquí_

_Enjoy. I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Behave." I ordered softly, hugging Hidan after giving Sable and Ash as much love as I could give them. They were both all excited now from my enthusiastic praise and hugs.<p>

He grumbled under his breath and hugged me back. "Fine, Bitch. But I'm giving Leader shit for making you fucking leave without us. He's not even letting you take the fucking mutt!"

I smiled and kissed his cheek, sad that I wasn't allowed to take Sable with me. "It'll be alright, Hidan. Zetsu's competent."

"I fucking know." He sighed. "Be safe bitch, and hurry your ass home."

"I love you too, Hidan." I assured him. When we pulled away from each other, Kathryn darted forward to hug me. I grunted under her momentum but smiled regardless and tightened my grip on her. "I love you, Kat."

She smiled. "I love you too, Momma. I'll see you in a week."

I didn't pull away from her to give her a returning smile. We were still unsure about how long it would take for them to find me and get to me, and it was even more unclear that I would be kept alive. Sure, they wanted me there alive, but I tend to piss people off and I wasn't about to help them defeat my loved ones. So there was about a 60% chance I'd die.

After Kathryn came Sanaa. She hugged me tightly and buried her face into my shoulder/chest. I kissed her forehead. "I love you Sanaa. Be good and take care of Tibby for me. Keep him in line."

She nodded with a smile. "I will. I love you too, Icy."

"Good." I said with approval. Deidara glomped me when Sanaa released me. I hugged him back with a smile. "Hey Dei."

"Be careful, un. And kill that asshole if he's rude too, yeah." Deidara told me.

"I'll be sure to do that." I laughed. "I love you, Deidara."

He tightened his grip on me. "I love you too, Alice un."

After Deidara, I exchanged a short, loving goodbye with Kakuzu before moving onto Konan. Once I was finished with her, I smirked at Sasori.

He returned my smirk with his own before gesturing with his head. Taking that as a cue, I walked forward and hugged him. To my surprise, he hugged me back. "Be careful, moron."

I rolled my eyes. "See you, Sasori. I love you."

"I know." He stated. "I'll be waiting here expecting a good sarcasm battle."

"Make sure you come up with some good material while I'm gone." I grinned. He chuckled and patted my head, letting me go to Pein.

Pein looked down at me and did a few small twitches. I responded before hugging him. "You owe me." I whispered so quietly that no one could hear me other than him.

He nodded and returned the hug slightly. "I know. Be good."

"No promises." I said with a smirk. "Bye Pein."

"Goodbye. And be careful." He ordered.

Once I was done with Pein, I was lifted off the ground and given an amazing hug. I smiled and returned the gesture, burying my face into Kisame's neck. "I love you Kisa, so much."

"I love you too, Al." Kisame assured me. He tightened his grip on me slightly when I did it first. "Be careful please and come home as soon as you can."

"I will." I whispered. "Take care of Tibby, Sasuke, and Itachi for me. And be safe yourself." I kissed his cheek, now not wanting to leave at all. "I love you."

Kisame frowned at my obviously desire to stay. He kissed my cheek. "I will. And I love you too. I'll see you soon."

He set me down and then Sasuke came forward. He rumpled my hair. "Alice."

I rumpled his hair. "Sasuke."

He smirked at me before allowing me to hug him. He returned the gesture. "See you, Alice."

"Love you, Sasuke." I told him. "Take care of your brother for me and Tibby."

"Will do." Sasuke promised. "Take care of yourself."

I smirked. "Will do." Sasuke had just let me go when Tiburon glomped me. I smiled and hugged him tightly. "Hi baby."

"I love you Mom." Tiburon whispered. "Why do you have to go alone? I want to go with you."

"I wish you could come with me too, baby." I sighed. "But you can't. Stay here with your dad and the others." I buried my face into his shoulder. "I love you so much."

He squeezed me tighter before letting me go. When he moved away, Itachi stepped forward to take his place. Itachi kissed me fully before pulling me into a hug. He whispered words of love and affection into my ear. I returned his confessions wholeheartedly.

"I'll miss you." I told him. I took his face into my hands and pressed my forehead to his. "I love you. Please sleep and don't worry about me. No matter what happens from here on out, I'll always love you and I'll always be with you." I closed my eyes. "I promise I'll come home soon."

Itachi kissed me softly. "I'll be waiting for you."

I kissed him again, wishing I didn't have to go on this stupid mission for Pein. I wanted to stay here with him and Tibby. I didn't want to leave and potentially die. It tore me apart inside to know I was going to cause my family strife and pain in a few days for some stupid mission.

I'd rather deal with the terrorists the old fashion way.

Hunt them down and blow them to pieces.

I backed away from Itachi reluctantly and Zetsu grabbed my shoulder when I reached him. I turned around and hugged him, trying to distract myself from the mental struggle that was eating away at me with Zetsu's person. He wrapped his arms around me before suddenly everything went dark and I felt myself sinking.

* * *

><p>Now, you see, it didn't take us long and we could have gone to the base and back in the time it took us to get to the necessary spot, but apparently it's really hard for Zetsu to travel with another person underground and it's even harder for him to travel with someone who lacks chakra.<p>

So, along the way Zetsu made pit stops to take a breather, check out some amazing scenery and get a bite to eat.

Yeah, I watched Zetsu eat a person.

It was fucking disgusting, and yet somehow really interesting.

Yeah, I think I might need to get checked soon.

But, we chatted and Zetsu and I had a lot of fun. I learned more about plants and the earth than I ever did in school and I just might remember it all.

Our trip ended all too soon. As scheduled, Zetsu and I checked into the hotel where my 'kidnapping' was going to take place. We got two separate rooms connected to each other like we were supposed to and we went to bed when nighttime came around.

As always, and like I prepared for during the meeting, ninjas are fucking predictable things.

They came in through every entrance to my room besides the door connecting my room with Zetsu's when everyone was asleep. I was pretending to sleep, having forgone that luxury when I woke up ten minutes into a night terror, when I heard the lock on my door and my window break.

I listened motionlessly, trying to boost their confidence in their sneakiness. I heard them whispering to each other about if it was me or not when one of them snapped orders for them to shut up and check to see if I had chakra.

Satisfied that I was void of any of the magic life force for ninjas, I distinctly felt them close in around me.

"You, newbie, restrain her." A man hissed.

I shifted slightly in my pretend sleep and scratched my nose. I fought the urge to smirk when some of them gasped because they thought I was awake. I resumed my comfortable position and sighed.

"Yes sir." A familiar voice said. I had to struggle with the desire to check on Cielo but I managed and I stayed completely still while he bound my hands.

"This is going smoothly." One of the men said. "Good job, kid."

Cielo shushed him. "We must be cautious. She might have more protection than the man in the other room."

"The kid's right." The man who barked orders earlier grunted. "You, carry you."

Cielo's hands squeezed mine slightly before leaving me and another set of hands grabbed me. I distinctly felt them touch places they should not touch so I decided now was a good time to wake up.

"You better watch where you're putting those meaty hands of yours, asshole. I'm a married woman." I growled. He froze and looked down at me just in time for me to head butt him.

He grunted with pain and released me while I struggled against my binds.

"Really?" I whined. "Why do I always have to fucking get kidnapped?" I kicked another guy in the chest. "Zetsu!"

"Shit, she's calling for help." The man who barked orders swore. He had a really, really broad chin and eyes that were spaced really far apart. "Newbie, grab her and let's go!"

Cielo picked me up and threw me over his shoulder before following the Crimson Chin from the room. I struggled, as was required, until one of the other guys pinched the nerves in my neck and knocked me out.

Fuck.

* * *

><p>It took the Shi ninja two days to get to their hideout and they fucking hate me after that trip. Cielo had to stop himself from laughing more times than I can count. But, he informed me of a lot of necessary things that I would need. He disguised a lot of the information in Spanish. He told his companions that he was writing stuff to pass the time, but in reality, he was giving me the rundown of the people I would be associated with.<p>

When I came to, after being knocked out by Cielo's mission leader for the second third time, I sighed audibly. I was chained in a cell in some dark, damp dungeon with my hands above my head and a shackle around my ankle.

Who the fuck do these people think I am?

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I sighed. "Honestly, I'm a fucking woman with no chakra. I can barely open a cardboard box, let alone free myself from shackles, chains, a cell, and find my way out of a dungeon. This is wasted labor and equipment."

A door opened and two men walked into my line of sight. One of them was tall, muscular, rather attractive, and he had gorgeously feathered black hair and a nicely trimmed chinstrap beard with a goatee. The other guy was short, really skinny, and kind of looked like a mouse.

"Hello, Seer." The tall man greeted. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Sup, bitch?" I greeted politely as if 'bitch' wasn't even in my greeting.

He frowned at me.

I smirked. "Sorry, habit. Hello, nice to meet you." I looked over him. "You obviously know me, but I don't know you. Care to enlighten me?"

He crossed his arms. "You are the 'Seer' are you not? Figure it out."

I looked over him carefully, taking in all of the aspects of his personality and his appearance before smirking. I knew this guy. Cielo had told me all about him.

"Jisatsu." I stated. "You're the leader of Shi and a huge fan of curry." I smirked. "Nice to meet you."

He blinked. "Impressive."

"Thanks." I smirked. I looked at his companion. "Hello Yoku."

The man beside Jisatsu shivered, his unhealthy yellow eyes fixed on me.

Jisatsu cocked his head to the side at me. "You do not seem surprised to be here."

I shrugged. "Shit happens."

"Even being kidnapped?" Jisatsu questioned.

"This is my fourth time." I pointed out. Adam, Orochimaru, Konoha, and now Shi. I'm on a roll. "Apparently I'm really popular around here."

He hummed and looked over me curiously. "You are more beautiful than I imagined."

I internally busted out laughing. This guy was trying to hit on me. "You can look, but you can't touch. I'm a married woman."

"Yes, I know. To an Uchiha." Jisatsu stated. "My newest and most promising recruit did quite a bit of research on you and brought me very valuable information."

I raised my eyebrow. "Oh? Like what?"

"I know you have trouble sleeping and are a borderline insomniac." Jisatsu informed me. "I also know that you are fiercely protective of your family."

"Anyone who listens to the news knows that, buddy." I stated. "I killed the Otokage a few years ago for kidnapping my son. And I try to kill people for touching him. There is nothing surprising about you knowing that."

"Yes, I know." Jisatsu nodded.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This guy sucked. "So, why am I here?"

"I think you know." Jisatsu pointed out.

"Humor me." I deadpanned.

"I want to know the enemies movements. I want to end this despicable alliance and make things the way they were." Jisatsu explained.

"Really?" I scoffed. "Do you honestly think I'm going to tell you anything that could result in the deaths of the people I love and care for? You're out of your fucking mind."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I will get what I want."

"Torture doesn't work on me, sugar tits." I told him. "Trust me, you'd be better off guessing their movements than trying to get the information you're wanting from me."

Jisatsu crossed his arms. "I know your weaknesses."

"And what might those be?" I asked.

He snapped his fingers. "Yoku!"

"Sir?" The jittery man at his side squawked.

"Fetch me the new boy." Jisatsu ordered.

I watched Yoku scurry from the room like a mouse. He was gone for a few minutes before entering the room with Cielo at his side. Cielo looked bored and he stopped before Jisatsu, looking unconcerned.

"You called?" He asked.

"Oh he's cute." I stated.

Cielo shot me a look.

"Yes, my dear boy," Jisatsu cooed, putting a loving hand on Cielo's shoulder. "Tell me, what are the Seer's weaknesses?"

Cielo looked at me and I smirked at him, basically giving him the go ahead. I didn't want him to blow his cover just to protect me.

He glanced at Jisatsu. "Physically, she has no weaknesses. She lacks chakra and therefore cannot be tortured mentally. Pain does not work on her. According to the records I stole from Konoha, during her imprisonment there, all of their torture methods failed and the only response they received from her was laughter and mocking statements."

Jisatsu did not look pleased.

I gave Cielo a scathing look to which he sighed at.

"However…" He mused reluctantly. "I do remember reading something about her having back problems." He crossed his arms. "Even if you focus on that, pain does not work on her. Konoha had medical records of her so I'm sure they knew of any weaknesses she had and played on them. They still obtained nothing from her."

I smirked. "Told you."

Jisatsu crossed his arms. "How do we get her to cooperate?"

"Perhaps, make a deal with her. Treat her like a guest, rather than a captive and she will be more likely to cooperate." Cielo suggested. "She does not like rudeness, and she appreciates kindness. She's a misanthrope, but if you show her that you're willing to be considerate, she might just help you."

Jisatsu looked at me. "My dear Seer…"

"My name is Alice." I interrupted. "And I like his idea. Let's do that one."

"Alice," Jisatsu corrected himself, "would you perhaps, consider helping me if I adhered to some conditions and gave you the hospitality you deserved?"

I shrugged. "Depends."

"On?" Jisatsu wondered.

"The conditions." I stated. "No killing."

"I cannot guarantee that." He stated.

I shrugged. "That's fine. However, I can't guarantee that I will see all of the Allied Forces' moves. I don't see everything. And I don't get visions on command."

He frowned. "Understandable."

"Do not touch the Akatsuki." I said firmly. "I will not be lenient on this rule."

He seemed to disapprove of my condition but nodded.

"And, I will make a list of the Shinobi you are not permitted to hurt. If one of them gets hurt by you, I will never speak another word." I stated.

"Who might be on that list?" Jisatsu wondered.

"Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Might Gai, Tsunade, the Raikage, Ōnoki, Mei, the Kazekage, the Hyūga, the Inuzuka, the Aburame, the Yamanaka, and others." I shrugged.

"That is an extensive list." Jisatsu pointed out.

"I know people." I said dismissively.

Jisatsu crossed his arms. "I will need to think this over. Until then, you will remain here."

I shrugged. "Take your time. Oh, but can you take off the chains? I don't have chakra and I'm unarmed. I honestly couldn't get out of this cell even if I wanted to."

Jisatsu nodded and unclipped the keys from his waist before handing them to Cielo. "There you are, my boy. Unchain her and watch over her. She is your responsibility since you planned her kidnapping so flawlessly."

Cielo bowed his head slightly before watching Jisatsu and Yoku leave. When they were gone, his eyes flashed slightly before he sighed. "Pein-sama owes me so much for putting up with those two."

I smirked. "There's my Cielo."

He gave me a smile from beneath his mask before slipping into my cell and unchaining me. He allowed me to hug him and returned the gesture, kissing my cheek from beneath his mask. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, sweetie." I assured him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Jisatsu loves me for some reason. I think it was because I brought him so much viable information on you and I beat his previous favorite subordinate in a fight for a ranked position."

I smiled. "That's my boy."

He chuckled. "This is my first time being here though."

"Where are we?" I asked.

"We're in Shi's headquarters just north of Taki." Cielo explained. "Jisatsu runs the whole organization. He used to be in Kumo's ANBU system before the war started. Sometime during the war, he defected because he absolutely _hates_ the Akatsuki for some reason. Yoku is his lackey. He's from Iwa and as far as I know, he never even made Chūnin. He idolizes Jisatsu." Cielo sat down by the door, keeping a professional distance from me. "This is the first time I've been here at headquarters. The only reason I was able to come here is because I 'captured' you. It was my initiation of sorts."

"Good job." I told him. "And don't try to protect me. You'll ruin your cover. I'll be fine. Whatever they can dish out at me, I can take. I promise."

He sighed. "I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try, Alice."

I smiled. "You're a good boy."

He hummed. "Hopefully they locate us soon. I want to go home."

"Me too, sweetie." I told him. "Me too."

**Third Person!**

Itachi sighed dejectedly as he straightened up the mess he called his bathroom. Alice, usually a very neat and tidy person, had destroyed it while packing her things to go on her mini-mission to chat with Jun. It had been three days since she left and he was just now finally deciding to clean up because he had nothing better to do other than wallow in his desire for her.

Itachi separated his stuff from Alice's before putting his things away. When he was finished, he turned to his wife's belongings and began sorting through them and putting them in their proper places.

As he cleaned, his eyes fell on a very familiar, small, black case that was usually attached to Alice's person. He opened it curiously and he tensed ever so slightly at seeing its contents were still inside. Alice had forgotten her serum at home. He had no idea when the last time she had taken it so he was twice as worried about his wife as he was before.

"Hey Dad!"

Itachi looked around and raised his eyebrow curiously. "Tiburon?" He stuck his head out of his bathroom. "What is it?"

Tiburon walked into his room and mimicked his father's curious expression. "Do you feel that chakra?"

Itachi frowned before focusing. His eyes narrowed. "Zetsu?"

"That's what I thought, but he's supposed to be in Kusa right now." Tiburon stated. "Wanna go check it out with me?"

Itachi dipped his head. "Come."

Tiburon trailed after his father through the manor until they reached the main street. Out there, they found a bloodied Zetsu talking to Pein and Konan.

"**I didn't even sense them. **We were sleeping until we heard her scream." Zetsu stated.

"Zetsu." Itachi stated. "Where is Alice?"

Zetsu looked at Itachi. "**Shi ambushed us while we were sleeping.** They took Alice."

Itachi tensed. "What?"

"I'm sorry Itachi." Zetsu stated. "**We tried to follow them, but they went in multiple directions and we couldn't sense Alice. We tracked them for almost two days, but every group we chased after didn't have her.**"

Tiburon stood there silently for a moment before wheeling around and stalking back to the manor.

"Tiburon?" Pein called. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to fucking hunt those assholes down and kill all of them for daring to touch my mom." Tiburon snapped. He pointed at Pein. "This is _your_ fault! You should have let someone else go with them! Because of you, my mom's in danger."

Pein frowned. "Tiburon."

Tiburon flicked him off, stomping towards the manor.

Itachi looked after him for a moment before shooting Pein an apologetic glance and following after his son. He flared his chakra, sending a message for Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, and Sasuke that he needed them.

Within five minutes, all of them were waiting there for him. Sanaa was there too, looking troubled.

"What's going on, Itachi?" Sasori asked.

"Why is Tibby's chakra on the war path?" Kisame asked.

Itachi crossed his arms. "Shi ambushed Zetsu and Alice two days ago and kidnapped Alice."

"What?!" Hidan shouted. Sanaa gawked.

Deidara shot to his feet. "Are you kidding, un?! Where did they take her, yeah?!"

"I have no idea, Deidara. But I am going to find her." Itachi said coldly. "Sasori, could you try tracking her phone?"

Sasori whipped out his phone and messed with it for a moment before frowning. He pressed a few buttons before a tone sounded through the house from the kitchen. "She left her phone here?"

"Something about this doesn't seem right…" Kakuzu stated.

"Alice is the least forgetful person I know." Sasuke agreed. "She wouldn't have just forgotten her phone here."

"She left her medication here as well." Itachi added.

Kisame narrowed his eyes. "Something is wrong."

"I bet Pein knows what's going on." Tiburon said simply, entering the room. He crossed his arms. "Are you guys coming or what?"

All of them looked confused.

"I'm going to get my mom. You guys can sit here on your asses if you want." Tiburon snapped. "Choose quickly because I'm leaving in an hour."

"Tiburon, we cannot just leave." Itachi sighed. "Leader has not given us orders or permission."

"Pein shmein. Mom is more important. I'll tell him to shove his pierced face up his holy ass." Tiburon said with a shrug. "Better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

Sasori stared at Tiburon. "He is so much like Alice it's sickening."

Itachi ran a hand over his face. "Tiburon, if you keep cussing, I'm going to ground you for a month."

Tiburon winced. "Sorry, Mom's not scolding me every time I say them so they slip." He shrugged. "Oh well. Let's go."

"I'm fucking in." Hidan announced.

"Me too." Kisame said, lifting his hand.

"I'm going, un." Deidara decided.

Sanaa nodded. "I'm going too. I want Icy back."

"Since my idiot partner is going, I guess I have to as well." Kakuzu sighed.

Sasori looked at Itachi. "You coming?"

"You would have to kill me to stop me." Itachi said seriously.

"None of you are going anywhere."

All of them looked towards the door to see Pein.

"What do you fucking mean we're not going anywhere?" Hidan demanded. "We're going to get Ice Bitch back from those fucktards who had the shitty idea to take her."

"No, you're not." Pein said simply. "You will be patient."

Sasori raised his hand. When Pein looked at him he raised his eyebrow. "With all due respect sir, who the hell do you think you're taking to? I hate waiting and I hate making others wait. Being patient is not something I'm capable of."

"Well learn." Pein stated.

"Fuck this." Tiburon snarled. "My mom is in danger. I'm not waiting for anything." Tiburon crossed his arms. "Leader or not, my mom is more important."

"Your mother gives me enough lip, Tiburon." Pein snapped. "I will not tolerate it from you, least of all when you are nothing more than a mere Chūnin."

"Why aren't you giving us orders to go and get my mom?!" Tiburon shouted. "Some Leader you are! My mom does everything for you and you're willing to leave her in the hands of people who poisoned her?!"

"Tiburon." Itachi sighed.

"No, shut up Dad." Tiburon growled, holding up his hand. "If I can't leave because my 'Leader' says I can't, then maybe I don't want him to be my leader anymore." He pulled off his forehead protector and tossed it on the ground. "I quit. I'm going to get my mom."

"Tiburon!" Itachi barked. He sighed when a poof of smoke erupted around his son before Tiburon chakra disappeared completely. "Damn it."

Sasuke stood up. "I'll go talk to him."

"I should go." Itachi told Sasuke, picking up Tiburon's forehead protector. "Go… do what you will."

Itachi disappeared in a flock of crows the next minute and he flew through the compound and the village until he reached the main gate of Konoha where Tiburon's chakra was located. He was leaving the village, visibly fuming.

Itachi materialized before Tiburon and sighed. "Tiburon."

Tiburon stomped around him.

Itachi grabbed his son's shoulder and pulled him around. "You may have gotten away with using that attitude on Pein, but you will not with me, Tiburon. I want to talk to you so calm down and face me with a clear head."

Tiburon's knuckles clenched. "I'm not going back. I'm going to get mom whether you come with me or not. If Cielo was here, he'd go with me without even thinking about it."

"I am not asking you to come back." Itachi soothed. "I am asking you to wait a moment and listen to me."

Tiburon looked back at Itachi before sighing and running a hand through his hair when he saw the pain in his father's eyes. "What?"

"It is too dangerous for you to go alone." Itachi stated.

"I'm not waiting for Pein to say you guys can go too." Tiburon said instantly.

Itachi put his hand over Tiburon's mouth. "You are not going alone. My word is final." He glanced over his shoulder as Sasuke appeared beside him and Kisame popped next to him with a splash. Kakuzu and Hidan dropped down from the gate behind Tiburon, the latter smirking broadly with Sable at his side.

"We're going with you, dork." Sasuke told Tiburon with a smirk.

Tiburon grinned. "What about Sori-Danna, Dei, and Sanaa?"

"They're already waiting for us outside of the village. Ash is with Sanaa." Itachi told him. "We have to hurry, before Pein-sama notices our absence." He offered his son his forehead protector. "Did you honestly think that we would let this slide?"

Tiburon took the slashed Konoha forehead protector from his father before putting it on his head. He patted his leg, motioning for Sable to prepare to follow him. "Let's go then."

Sasuke glanced at his brother. "I've sent a message to Kakashi, Lee, Naruto, and the others about this. I feel confident that we will have backup if things do not go our way."

"Good." Itachi nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>I'm sorry to admit this, but expect these last few chapters to be utter shit. With all of my withdraws and shit going on and the extreme stress I've been under, I haven't been able to edit them to make them better and I haven't really felt up to doing anything at all. I'm sorry about that._

Answer: _I said favorite Anime, not anime character. My favorite anime is Naruto and Bleach tied for first. Second... Hellsing/Hellsing Ultimate. I fucking love Alucard._

**QotC: **_PC or Mac?__  
><em>

_It's been a really long time since I've had such little control over myself and it's starting to scare me. My withdraws are awful in and of themselves and as soon as I think I've gotten over them, they renew themselves. It's driving me nuts. My roommates think I'm utterly insane and two of them are terrified of me because I've been snapping because of the smallest things recently. The girls across the hall from me were playing their shitty dubstep just a little too loud and it finally got to the point where if Cierra hadn't confined me to our bedroom, I would have gone out there and ripped their fucking head off. Back a few chapters during my rant about thieves, that was meaner and much more violent than it usually would have been because I've been getting angrier and angrier.  
><em>

_You guys know how much I hate bitching on the internet. That little rant is classified as bitching in my opinion. It's true, but it's bitching.  
><em>

_But anyways... That's quite enough.  
><em>

_See you.  
><em>


	71. Chapter 71

_We're almost done!_

_It's about time. Only two chapters left!  
><em>

_Enjoy. I do not own Naruto.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Kathryn!<strong>

I bit my lip nervously as Pein-sama stood on the doorstep to my house. He looked thoroughly irritated and for good reason. The guys and Sanaa had all left to go get Alice without his permission.

"Hi, Pein-sama." I said cheerfully. "What are you doing here?"

"Where are they, Kathryn?" He asked with his eyes narrowed.

I sighed. "They left."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I ought to kill all of them."

"They're going to get Alice, Pein-sama. Shouldn't you be helping them? Every time Alice was in danger before, you immediately sent them to help her except for when Tobi was being an asshole."

He crossed his arms. "Alice isn't in as much danger as they think."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"She's on orders. She was never meant to go to Kusa. She's infiltrating Shi's organization so we can trace the location and crush them. Those idiots are jumping the kunai before we have time to gather our forces." Pein-sama barked.

I gawked. "You sent her in there alone?!"

"Cielo is with her." He informed me. "He didn't go visit his family. He was inducted into Shi's ranks so he could keep an eye on Alice from the inside. They have no idea Cielo is affiliated with us."

I stared at him. "You do realize all of them are going to kill you when they figure out that you planned this."

"They will have to respect me and Alice's decision." He deadpanned. "Call them. But do not mention this."

I whipped out my phone and dialed Danna's number. A few rings later, he answered.

"_What is it, Brat?_" He asked over the wind raging around him.

"Hi Danna." I greeted. "Pein-sama wants to kill you guys."

I could hear Danna rolling his eyes. "_Tell him to get over it._"

Pein-sama glowered at the phone before holding his hand out. I smiled sheepishly at him and put the phone in his palm. He held it up to his ear, a frown on his face. "Sasori."

"_Leader._" Danna replied. Pein-sama had accidently hit the speaker button.

"All of you turn around and get back here now. We need to plan this. We will need more than just the eight of you to hunt Shi down and attack them. All of you are being rash." Pein-sama growled.

Danna sighed. "_I can see where you are making sense, but it is not me you need to convince. The last time I checked, I wasn't married to Alice. Also, my mother is long dead, not in danger._"

"_Tell Pein to shove that phone up his ass!_" Tibby shouted from somewhere near Danna.

"_Tiburon!_" Itachi scolded. I heard Tibby call out an apology.

"_I think he heard you, Tiburon._" Danna stated.

"I did." Pein-sama said with a chilling tone.

Danna exhaled loudly. "_Itachi, Leader is making a lot of sense right now._" He was quiet for a moment before sighing. "_Leader, Itachi is making a lot of sense right now too._"

"What did he say?" Pein-sama asked.

"_He said 'He sat by and followed orders when Alice was captured before and he barely recognized her when you finally gave us permission to go after her. He's not going to let that happen again. He said he would defect from Akatsuki before leaving Alice to be tortured.' His words, not mine._"

"You have an hour to get back here, before I come after you myself." Pein-sama growled.

"_Yeah… good luck with that._" Danna said boredly. "_Sasuke told Naruto about this too, by the way. You might want to let the Hokage know that some of her Shinobi might be leaving the village to join us._"

"You all are in _serious_ trouble." Pein-sama snarled. He ended the call and handed me the phone. "Come, Kathryn."

I nodded obediently and followed him to his house. He commandeered Konan and Zetsu's help before leading us through the village to Tsunade's office. She looked up when we entered and raised her eyebrow. "Pein?"

"My subordinates have found out about Alice being captured and have disobeyed my order to stay and thus are already on their way to get her." Pein-sama said simply. "Tiburon and Itachi are leading the way."

I smiled. "Tibby is just like Alice. If Itachi was captured, she would probably kill you and be on her way before even considering staying and waiting for you to give the okay."

He shot me a look.

I yelped and hid behind Konan who narrowed her eyes at Pein-sama for being mean to me. I smiled and hugged Konan from behind when Pein-sama thought better of eating me. "You're the best, Konan."

She looked back at me briefly. "I know." She grabbed Pein-sama's arm and squeezed it. "Relax. You knew this would happen. Alice planned for this, did she not? Take a deep breath and calm down. You know that if Alice was kidnapped without your knowledge you would send them after her immediately and I know you do not blame them for their loyalty to her. You're simply miffed they didn't listen to you." She smiled when Pein-sama sighed and nodded. "Now, let's think. What would Alice do?"

"Lecture them, probably." Zetsu mused. "**She'd go off into one of her tangents and knock some heads together.**"

"Okay, less angry Alice and more composed and focused Alice." Konan said with a smile.

"She would address the plan if one was already made and if not, think of a new solution." Pein-sama said calmly. He looked at Tsunade. "Do you have the overview of the meeting?"

"Yes." Tsunade confirmed. She pulled out a scroll and skimmed over it. "According to what Alice said, we should send in back up and ask our eyes inside for any information he can give us."

"So we contact Cielo and send in more ninjas?" I asked with a smile. "Sounds fun. Can I help?"

"Yes." Tsunade smiled. "See if you can somehow contact Cielo. He was given one of your strange contact devices hidden in his clothing. His mask acts as a speaker and a microphone. Alice helped us arrange it."

"Awesome." I grinned. "I'll get right on it."

**First Person Alice!**

Out of all of my kidnappings, this has got to be the best one. Not only do I get to have Cielo watching over me instead of some pompous asshole with a violence fetish, but I get room service and I'm basically a VIP.

And I don't even have to do anything other than tell Jisatsu bullshit things.

Currently, I am sitting at dinner with him. My babysitter, A.K.A Cielo, was sitting off to the side, guarding me and reading boredly. The food was mediocre but who am I to complain? For once, I'm not the one who made it.

Jisatsu entwined his fingers and gave me a flirtatious smile from across the table. He was in a good mood. I had fed him planned "visions" that allowed him to destroy a convoy of apparently "coded" messages from Konoha to Kumo. It was really just coded messages made from me and Naruto to Bee and Darui. They said nothing of any importance what so ever. In fact, most of them were rap lyrics for Bee and recipes for Darui.

In case you didn't know, Darui has a passion for cooking and he's actually really good at it. He asked for some recipes of mine and I was all too happy to give them to him.

I love Darui. He's a sweetheart and really funny.

Anyways…

I returned the smirk sarcastically before taking a bite of my food.

Cielo hid his eye roll by occupying himself with reading his book.

"Alice." Jisatsu purred.

"Yes?" I asked, looking at him.

His smile turned more cocky and seductive. "You have done me a great favor."

I shrugged. "Don't mention it. Piece of cake."

"I feel as if I should grant you a favor of your own." Jisatsu cooed.

"I'm good man." I said dismissively, holding up a piece of chicken and inspecting it boredly before popping it in my mouth. He watched me as I chewed so I stuck my tongue out at him to show off my meal.

He chuckled. "You are so… _interesting_."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I think I have a built in freak magnet or something. First Sonido's after me, and now this weirdo is coming in for the kill. Honestly, there have only been two people with a shred of sanity to ever be attracted to me. One of them is dead and the other is Itachi. And Itachi's pretty fucking weird as it is.

It's like Twilight without the glittery, bitch vampire wannabes and the rip off werewolves.

I mean come on. _Dracula_ is a fucking vampire. Edward and his gang of oddities aren't vampires. They're blood sucking fairies.

My life is still a better love story than Twilight though. And Sable is ten times cuter than Jacob.

But, back to reality.

"Thanks." I deadpanned.

He fluttered his eyelashes at me.

"Something in your eye?" I asked.

"No." He said softly. "Thank you for the concern. You are so sweet."

"Sure…" I said uncertainly.

He straightened up and cocked his head to the side at me. "Tell me, Alice… How did you meet your husband?"

"I found him in a box on my doorstep." I said simply.

Jisatsu chuckled at my apparent joke and smiled a dazzling smile at me. "Romantic?"

"Not really. I'm pretty sure I scared the shit out of him at first." I admitted. "But, that was a long time ago."

He entwined his fingers. "What did you say was the name of your son…? Timmy?"

"Tiburon. We call him Tibby sometimes." I told him.

"Tiburon… A strange name." Jisatsu mused. "Wherever did you get that name?"

I ate some rice before shrugging. "Where I come from, Tiburon means shark. We named Tiburon after Kisame Hoshigaki. Kisame is Itachi's partner in the Akatsuki and his best friend. His middle name is Shisui after Shisui Uchiha."

Jisatsu hummed. "That's very nice. But, none of his name is focused on you."

"I picked the names. I wanted his name to be centered on Itachi because my boys are the center of my universe." I told him. I bumped feet with Cielo to assure him that he was included in that statement.

Cielo paused slightly before standing up and bowing slightly. "Jisatsu-sama, excuse me, but there is something I must attend to. Captain Lee is flaring his chakra oddly and he is near my office. I will send in a replacement guard."

"No need, Cielo my boy." Jisatsu said simply. "Go, attend to the Captain and then return. I am certain I can watch over Alice myself."

"Sir."

"You must get lonely without your husband or your son." Jisatsu pointed out, getting to his feet as Cielo left.

"It sucks, yeah." I nodded, ignoring him as he strolled around the room.

"Forgive me." Jisatsu said sadly. "I wish I could take away your pain."

I glanced at him. "You could, but that would require you to give me back to my husband and the rest of the Akatsuki."

He chuckled. "Oh no, my dear. I couldn't do that."

"It was worth a shot." I shrugged.

"Tell me…" He began. "Why are you so fond of the Akatsuki?"

I smiled. "They're my family. I love them. People see them as a band of criminally insane misfits who want to cause pain and chaos. But really, most of them have the same goals as everyone else. They're just willing to do whatever it takes to reach those goals while everyone else follows rules."

"Rules are made to ensure order." Jisatsu commented.

"Some would say rules are made to be broken." I retorted. "You don't know the Akatsuki like I do."

"No, I suppose I don't." He muttered.

"Do you hate them?" I asked.

"I do." He confirmed.

I glanced at him. "Why?"

He clasped his hands behind his back as he reached the fireplace and he stared into the flames for a long moment. "They killed my friend."

"They've killed a lot of people. So have you." I stated. "It's the way the world works."

"They killed him for a bounty." Jisatsu stated. "His name was Sora."

"White hair with a scar slashing across his face?" I wondered.

Jisatsu blinked and looked around at me. "You know him?"

"Knew." I confirmed. "I was there when he died."

Jisatsu narrowed his eyes. "Then you know what sort of beasts they were."

"No. His bounty was because he was going through innocent villages and killing people with abnormal hair color because apparently, when he was younger, he was mugged by a group of people with abnormal hair. Thus, anyone with strange hair was deemed an enemy and killed on sight." I stated. "It was either they kill him, or someone else did."

I might have read the bingo book with Kakuzu when Itachi and Kisame were out on a mission once. Sora came up in a conversation.

Jisatsu frowned. "I did not know that."

"Shit happens." I reminded him. "People die. You have to get over it at some point before you destroy yourself."

"Yes, but if you lose friends, you become lonely." He whispered.

"And if you thirst for revenge all your life, you miss out on the chance to make more bonds that will eventually fill the void." I lectured. "It would be different if he was a member of your family."

Jisatsu glanced at me. "I have no family. I wouldn't know."

"I do. Even being away from my family for a day is hard." I told him seriously.

He walked boredly around the table before standing behind me. And, if you guys didn't already know, I hate it when people come up from behind me because I'm paranoid.

I tensed immediately and I stopped eating, focusing my attention of his position behind me. I jumped when his hand touched my shoulder and my knuckles cracked when he grabbed my chin and pulled my face around so he could look at me.

"Perhaps I can soothe your loneliness then." Jisatsu proposed.

And then he fucking kissed me.

Now, I don't know about you guys, but when I'm happily in a relationship, I don't take kindly to cheating. And because I don't take kindly to cheating, I am utterly against doing it myself. This man kissing me was bringing back severe anger issues that I had buried long, long ago after years of anger management.

I snapped the chopsticks in my hand before standing up and effectively separating Jisatsu from my person. I drew back my fist and punched him straight in the mouth. He gawked at me, grabbing his face.

Still seething, I grabbed him by his hair before slamming his face repeatedly against the hard table I had been eating at. He waved pathetically in protest, but I was too angry to stop. I released his face, allowing him to drop to his knees before I kicked him in the jaw. I smirked as a crack sounded from his face.

He fell to the floor and I made to slam my thick as hell boot into his skull when I was dragged away from him by Cielo.

Cielo pinned my arms to my side while I shouted obscene and inappropriate things at Jisatsu. A number of guards rushed in and Cielo took the opportunity to drag me to my room. He put me in it before leaving quickly after locking me in.

He had a cover to keep.

And probably, a rogue leader to save.

**Third Person!**

Cielo smothered his smirk beneath his mask as Alice prodded his foot. He knew she considered him as a son. He did pretty much from the first week he lived with her. Alice was just like his mother… only more insane.

_A lot_ more insane.

Cielo paused in the process of flipping the page before he felt the collar of his flak jacket vibrating. Tensing slightly, he stood and quickly excused himself from the room. Jisatsu, as expected, let him go without batting an eye and Cielo quickly left.

However, rather than going to his office like he said, he simply went outside the door and stood there, pleased there were no guards.

Pressing a button on his jacket, he stopped the vibrating. "Pein-sama?"

"_Nope! Hi Cielo, it's Kathryn!_"

Cielo blinked at the greeting. "Kathryn?"

"_Yep! Now here's Pein-sama._" She said cheerfully.

"_Cielo_." Pein grunted over the phone. "_How is everything going?_"

"Smoothly." Cielo said simply. "What do you need, sir?"

"_I need the location of the base and a description of forces._" Pein stated. "_As quickly as you can. The others have discovered Alice's capture and are on the hunt._"

Cielo sighed. "Wonderful. Let me guess, Tiburon started it?"

"_Yes._" Pein deadpanned.

Cielo rolled his eyes. "Of course he did. Well, the base is north of Taki. The entrance is through a waterfall, though there are a number of back entrances which I would advise you take. When I have a minute, I will send you the schematics of the base. Right now, I'm supposed to be on Alice guard duty which is more difficult than you would think."

"_Well done, Cielo. Forces?_" Pein asked, ignoring the laughing coming from Kathryn and Zetsu about Alice.

"Their numbers are many, but none of them are particularly skilled. I think the highest ranking person here is the leader and he is a bit of a moron." Cielo admitted. He paused when he heard a bang come from the next room.

"_What was that?_" Pein asked.

Cielo muttered his lack of knowledge before opening the door to the room he was just in and gawking at the sight of Jisatsu latched onto an utterly appalled Alice. Her chair had been knocked over when she stood up. "Oh shit."

"_What?_" Pein demanded.

"The leader just kissed Alice..." Cielo whispered.

"_Uh oh._" Kathryn gasped. "_Cielo, you have to separate them now before she kills him!_"

Cielo realized it was a little too late for that as he watched as Alice brutally assaulted the leader of Shi and he listened to the shocked statements of his family through his hidden phone. Finally catching up with things, he rushed over to Alice and yanked her off of Jisatsu. Her shoulder hit a button on his jacket that ended the call and the voices stopped.

Cielo then dragged Alice out of the dining room and pulled her to her room.

He swore to himself as he shut Alice back in her room before jogging back to the dining hall he left his current commander in. He pushed the ninja before him out of his way before knelling beside his temporary leader. "Jisatsu-sama?"

Jisatsu weakly reached for Cielo.

"Sir?" Cielo asked, confused.

Jisatsu grabbed the notebook from Cielo's pouch before pulling the pen out of the wire binding. He wrote shakily, staining the paper with blood.

Cielo sighed slightly as he read the paper when it was handed back to him.

_**She's feisty**_.

"I did warn you about that sir." Cielo said simply. "And she is married."

Jisatsu shrugged.

Cielo waved in some medic ninjas and got up, heading back for Alice's room and hoping she calmed down. He had to tell her about what occurred during his conversation with Pein.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_I got to home this weekend to see my babies and take my medication. :) So I'm in a very good mood. That will end when I leave though. :/_

Answer: _PC. Fuck Macs._

**QotC:** _What's your favorite day of the week?_

_Bye.  
><em>


	72. Chapter 72

_Second to last chapter unless I decide to do an epilogue._**  
><strong>

_Don't hold your breath. That is very unlikely.  
><em>

_I am so done with this bitch.  
><em>

_I do not own Naruto. Enjoy.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>First Person Alice!<strong>

Surprisingly enough, I wasn't punished for beating the shit out of Jisatsu. I was, however, not allowed to be left alone at any time now and Jisatsu required a full guard if I was in the room with him.

He still hit on me though, which pissed me off. But, I wasn't allowed to kill him.

Yet.

Cielo told me to look at it as anger management. If I could stop myself from killing him, I could stop myself from doing a lot of other things when my anger got the best of me.

It's a lot harder than it sounds.

It's been three days since Jisatsu kissed me and I want nothing more than to slaughter him.

There I was, seething as Jisatsu went on about us. Like we were a thing.

"When Shi has accomplished its goal to abolish the Alliance and make the world the beautiful place it was, we will be on top." Jisatsu announced as he strode around his office. I was sitting in the chair before his desk with Cielo standing directly behind me.

With the help of healers, he was almost back to normal. He was still cut up and stuff but his jaw was no longer broken and his face wasn't swollen. He did, however, still have a broken nose and a long scar across his forehead from where I had slammed his face on the corner of the table.

It gave me sick pleasure to see that I had broken his once handsome face.

"I, of course, will be the vanguard of this wonderful organization. And you," he looked at me, "my dear, dear Seer, will be at my side. All of my power will be yours. You are the woman that this organization needs to be completely unstoppable." He leaned towards me, putting his hands on the arms of the chair I was sitting in and giving me a seductive smirk. "You are the woman _I_ need to be completely unstoppable."

"Fuck you, asshole I would never leave my husband for your crazy ass." I snapped. "And get away from me. You're invading my personal space."

Jisatsu chuckled. "You are so charming."

"Is that sarcasm?" I asked. "Because if it's not, you're fucking delusional." I gestured at the bandages on his face. "Did the table teach you nothing?"

"No my dear, I wasn't being sarcastic. I find your brazen personality to be adorable and quite… sexy." Jisatsu stated. I heard Cielo gag under his mask. "I also would love it if you wanted to invade my personal space."

Cielo grabbed my shoulder soothingly.

"You are _so_ lucky this kid is holding me back." I growled.

Jisatsu caressed my cheek softly before straightening up. "One day, you will yearn for my touch."

"Don't hold your breath dude." I deadpanned.

A knock sounded on the door, effectively cutting Jisatsu off when he made to speak. He glared at the door for a moment before sighing. "Come in."

The door opened and a man with a shrouded hood stepped into the room. He bowed. "Jisatsu-sama. Our sentries have detected Akatsuki members heading in this direction."

Jisatsu's eyes narrowed and for once, he showed the maturity of a man who ran a terrorist organization. He crossed his arms. "Prepare the men. I want eyes on them at all times." His gaze flicked to me. "Let them come. I'm sure the Seer misses her family."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do anything to them, and I'll fucking kill you."

"Yes," he said simply. "Good luck with that." He snapped his fingers and a few men walked into the room. "Prepare her for the reunion with her family. Make sure she is dressed for the occasion. I want my future partner to look beautiful for our guests. Cielo, you come with me."

Cielo squeezed my shoulder before he let me go and I was forced to my feet by the men ordered to "prepare" me before being led out of the room.

**Third Person!**

"We're being watched." Sasori said in an undertone to his companions.

"We have been for some time." Kakuzu grunted. "They're letting us find their hideout. They must have something planned for us."

Itachi glanced back at them from his place at the front beside Sasuke. "Just stick to the plan we made on our way here and we'll be fine."

"They might use Alice against us." Kisame stated.

"Let us hope not." Itachi said smoothly.

Deidara looked over his shoulder towards Sanaa and Tiburon who were just in front of Hidan and Sable. "Keep up you two, un."

Sanaa smiled at him. "Okay Daddy." She elbowed Tiburon and they picked up the pace. "It'll be okay, Tibby."

He nodded quietly but didn't comment.

Sanaa sighed at his troubled expression, concerned for her friend. However, she blinked and looked around. "What?"

Tiburon looked at her. "What?"

"I just felt a really familiar chakra signature." She said quietly. "It's coming from inside the hideout we're heading to. I can't place it…"

Tiburon frowned. "I didn't feel anything."

She shook her head. "Maybe I imagined it." Her head snapped to the front of their procession and she blinked at seeing a pierced redhead with long, flowing hair land on a branch just in front of Itachi and Sasuke.

The Uchiha brothers stopped on the spot and others froze instantly.

"Pein-sama?" Sanaa asked.

The long haired redhead dipped his head. "Indeed. I see Sanaa is the only one here keeping track of your surroundings."

"Why do you have long hair?" Tiburon asked. "And your piercings changed."

"This is one of my other paths, Tiburon." Pein in Animal-Path form explained. "Deva Path, the path you are so used to seeing, is still in Konoha."

Tiburon rubbed his head. "This is freaky."

Itachi dipped his head respectfully. "What brings you here, Leader-sama?"

"I am your back up." Pein said simply. "Now, let us go. I will push your insubordination to the back of my mind for now and deal with it later."

All of the Akatsuki and the two kids with them paled. Sasuke and Sable remained unaffected.

Together, the present Akatsuki members rushed towards the massing chakras. They cautiously entered through the waterfall and they followed the long, damp hallway until they reached a giant open room.

Fires erupted around the room, effectively lighting it up as if they were outside on a bright, sunny day.

The Akatsuki and Sasuke tensed when they noticed the large number of Shi members surrounding them. High up on a platform, a set of double doors stood and a large number of guards were positioned around it.

"Well shit." Hidan stated, looking around. "Look at all these fucking assholes." He put a hand on Sable's head as a deep, menacing snarl rumbled through her chest.

"Shut up, moron." Kakuzu sighed. His gaze flicked to the doors as they opened and a muscular man who obviously spent a lot of time in front of a mirror on his hair emerged from the door. To his left, a gangly man walked and a hooded person was at his right, dragging a very disgruntled Alice.

"I fucking hate you." She snarled, glaring at the man with the goatee and feathery hair. "What's the big deal with making me wear this shit?"

Alice was wearing tight pants, and a tight, extremely revealing shirt that literally only covered part of her breasts. Her entire stomach was exposed as was a generous amount of her chest for everyone to see.

The man turned his head to smiled at Alice. "I assumed you would look gorgeous in it, and I was right. You really should wear more feminine and revealing clothing, my sweet. Your body is beautiful."

Alice gave him a deadpan glare. "You're an idiot." She crossed her arms, concealing her chest. "When this is over with, I'm going to kill you."

"Hush, dear." The man chuckled. He looked over the Akatsuki and smiled brightly. "Welcome, Akatsuki, to my humble abode."

"Dispense with the pleasantries." Pein said with a frown. "We are here for Alice and her only."

"Hey! You brought out my second favorite path!" Alice said cheerfully. "Please tell me you're here to kill this asshole too. Jisatsu fucking sucks."

Jisatsu waved his hand and the hooded man to his right covered Alice's mouth with his hand. Alice just rolled her eyes and slumped in defeat.

Sable barked at him and would have rushed forward if Hidan hadn't ordered her to stay.

"Get your hands off of her." Tiburon barked, marching forward in Sable's place. He was stopped when Itachi grabbed him and held him back.

"I'm afraid you have caught me at a bad time." Jisatsu stated. "I need Alice and I have become rather taken with her. She is quite adorable and her feistiness is rather sexy."

"You put one hand on her, and I will strangle you with your own limbs." Itachi growled.

"I take it you are her husband." Jisatsu said with a smirk. "You have excellent tastes." He caressed Alice's cheek tauntingly before taking her from the hooded man. He pulled Alice closer, curling his arm around her waist. The hooded man tied Alice's hands behind her back, much to her annoyance.

Itachi's eyebrow twitched. "Get off of her."

"I don't think I will." Jisatsu said simply, resting his head against Alice's and kissing her forehead. Alice went to head butt him, but the hooded man stopped her.

Itachi released Tiburon and started stalking forward.

"Itachi, stop." Alice ordered. "It's alright. Don't do anything stupid. I'll be okay."

Itachi stopped and glared up at Jisatsu, sorely wishing to disobey Alice and retrieve her.

"Now that I have your attention, why don't we have a chat?" Jisatsu asked. "Alice has requested that I not kill you. I personally don't want to disappoint my little flower so I am inclined to adhere to her request. However, I don't particularly like any of you. So I am torn."

Sanaa glared at him, hugging Ash closer. "Give Icy back yeah. She isn't yours. She's ours."

Jisatsu looked at Sanaa and his face lit up. "Well aren't you adorable? And what is your name?"

Deidara pulled Sanaa closer to him. "Stay away from my baby, un."

"So she is your daughter?" Jisatsu mused. "How sweet." He looked down at Alice. "Does that mean your son is here? Which one is he? I want to meet him." When Alice didn't answer, he sighed and tightened his grip on her. Alice winced as a crack sounded from her ribs when he snapped one.

The hooded man beside Jisatsu tensed and his head snapped in Alice's direction.

Sable's ears flattened at the sound of Alice's hiss of pain and she shot forward. A number of ninjas drew weapons and prepared to launch them.

"Sable sit!" Alice barked.

Sable froze instantly and sat, still growling.

"Sable, guard Tibby." Alice ordered.

Sable snarled again and backed up to stand beside Tiburon. Well, for a moment at least.

"You fucking asshole!" Tiburon shouted, charging at him. Sasuke grabbed him before he could attack and held him still while Tiburon fought against him. "Let me fucking go, Sasuke! I'll kill that fucker! Don't you touch my mom!"

"Tiburon Shisui Uchiha, you better watch your mouth!" Alice scolded.

"I suppose that answers the question." Jisatsu mused. "He seems to have your temper."

Alice glared at him. "You stay away from my son."

"I just wanted to know which of the men here I was going to leave alive if I did decide to kill them. I want you to return my feelings. I can't go and kill your son if I want that."

"I don't give a shit what you do." Alice snapped. "Touch any of them, and I'll fucking kill you."

He pinched Alice's cheek fondly. "You are so cute when you try to seem frightening."

"Let me slam your face into the table again. I'll show you cute." Alice growled.

"Stop playing hard to get, my sweet. I know you want me." Jisatsu cooed as he rubbed his nose against Alice's. He jumped when a kunai sliced through his hair before embedding itself into the door behind his head. He looked around and frowned. "Who threw that?"

"Tiburon." Pein scolded. "Control yourself."

"You have ten seconds to let go of my mom." Tiburon snarled, his Sharingan whirling.

Jisatsu lifted up one hand and felt his hair. His eyes widened at the hair that was now no longer attached to his head and he glared down at Tiburon. "What a naughty boy. You should be punished for that."

The Akatsuki clumped further together, Tiburon safely behind his father with Sable protectively at his side.

Alice swore loudly when Jisatsu pressured her ribs as he jerked her closer. She leaned away from him as best as she could. Her efforts failed as Jisatsu placed a very intimate kiss on her lips. Her eyes widened and fires erupted in them.

Itachi too, lost control on his temper.

The floor under him caved under his feet as his Susanoo erupted around him. Itachi drew back the sword of his Susanoo, his eyes fixed on Jisatsu and Alice. "Hell _no_."

Alice successfully head butted Jisatsu and she looked around, gawking at the sight of her husband's anger. Her eyes widened further when she saw the Shi Shinobi rushing at him and the Akatsuki because of his obvious first move.

Itachi made to wipe out a number of Shi agents charging at them and Alice knew that would be the end of the peaceful chat. And thus, her family would be in danger because they were severely outnumbered. "Itachi! Stop!"

Jisatsu's eyes widened after he recovered from Alice's blow and he ripped the kunai out of the wall before placing himself behind Alice with his weapon against Alice's neck. "Stand down, or I will slit her throat."

Itachi froze, as did the Shi agents when they noticed the other members of the Akatsuki pausing. He glared at Jisatsu and slowly, his Susanoo began to fade.

"Good." Jisatsu stated, pressing the kunai harder to Alice's neck. "Now, bring that _brat_ who damaged my hair forward. Struggle, and I kill her."

Tiburon shouldered by his father and stepped forward on his own, glaring up at Jisatsu who now had a bloody nose. "Let her go."

Jisatsu leaned forward, pressing closer to Alice to sneer at Tiburon. "No."

Alice smirked when Jisatsu leaned closer to her and she brought her heavy boot up, hitting him between the legs. He gasped and released her and Alice wheeled around before kicking him in the face. She broke out of the binds which were loosely tied and grabbed Jisatsu by his hair.

"I'll fucking show you what happens to assholes who invade my fucking personal space." Alice growled.

"Mom!" Tiburon shouted grabbing Sable's collar before the wolf could race forward. He tensed, seeing the guards rushing towards her. Alice was yanked away from Jisatsu who looked twice as livid as he was before.

He stood up and ran a bloody hand through his hair as he seethed. He glared at Alice and ripped the sword away from guard behind him. He pointed it at her. "I've had it. If you refuse to submit to me and be mine and do as I say, then I refuse to let anyone else have you or your premonitions."

Alice sighed. "Jashin-damn it. Not again."

Jisatsu stomped towards her and made to stab Alice in the stomach. The second before he swung, a sword went swinging up and Jisatsu's head fell of his shoulders before rolling away on the ground.

The hooded man holding the offending sword decapitated the man holding Alice before picking her up and jumping off of the balcony with her.

He landed in front of Tiburon with Alice in his arms bridal style. He set her down before looking around and preparing to fight.

"We should go." Alice concluded, hugging her biological son. "Like now." She grunted when Sable jumped at her and she hugged her fuzzy baby tightly.

Pein shook his head. "We are wiping out this ridiculous threat right here and now."

"How do you propose we do that?" Sasori demanded, pushing Sanaa and Deidara behind him and summoning some of his puppets. "We're completely fucking outnumbered and I don't have my entire collection here."

Pein smirked and flew through some hand signs before slamming his palms on the ground. The other paths of Pain poofed into existence in the room as well as a number of Konoha Shinobi, along with some Kumo, Kiri, Suna, and Iwa ninjas including the Kage.

"That's a good way." Sasori said simply. He dipped his head at Zetsu who emerged from the ground beside him. Konan materialized beside Pein, a small smile on her face.

Alice smiled. "The cavalry arrives." She kissed Itachi when he rushed to her and smiled. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Itachi stated.

Sanaa struggled with Ash in her arms. The silver fox finally managed to wiggle out of her grasp and he darted to the hooded man and jumped into the hooded man's open arms.

Diva Path Pein glanced at Itachi. "Get Alice out of here and somewhere safe with the kids. Stay outside and kill anyone who might try to escape. Take the others with you. Prevent anyone from getting away. There are other parties blocking most of the exits."

"Sir." Itachi nodded. He picked up Alice before signaling to the others. The hooded guard who beheaded Jisatsu grabbed his arm before they could head out the way they came in. He shook his head and motioned for Itachi to follow him.

"Follow him." Alice urged. "Sable, come."

Itachi obeyed and he took off after the hooded guard with the others trailing after him. To his surprise, they reached the exit sooner than he expected and they arrived in an enclosed valley with only one way out.

"The other exits are booby-trapped to blow up and close when someone tries to get out through it. This is the only safe one." Alice told him. "I just made your job easier. You're welcome."

Itachi hugged Alice before looking at the hooded man. "Who are you? Why did you save Alice?"

The hooded man scoffed before removing his hood. "You honestly didn't recognize my chakra?"

"Cielo?!" All of them demanded.

"In the flesh." Cielo confirmed with a masked smirk as Ash licked his face. "I figured Ash would have given it away."

Alice smiled and hugged Cielo. "You can thank him for the lack of torture. He managed to talk Jisatsu out of it."

"I thought you went to visit your family." Sasuke stated.

Cielo shook his head. "Nah. I can't visit the people I already live with." He hugged Alice back with one arm as his other was holding Ash. "I left to go and infiltrate Shi for Pein-sama. It was either I go, or he would send in Sanaa. I couldn't let that happen."

Sanaa glomped Cielo. She buried her face into his shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck but taking care not to hurt Ash. "I missed you, Cielo."

"I missed you too." Cielo admitted, hugging Sanaa back. He winced when Tiburon punched him. "And you too, Tiburon."

Tiburon smirked.

"It's time to kill the fucking cowards who try to escape!" Hidan shouted. "Jashin-sama will be appeased!"

Alice laughed and glomped Hidan. "I missed you guys." She smiled when Hidan returned her embrace, rumpling her hair. "Get me some sacrifices buddy."

Hidan grinned and tightened his grip on her. "Sure thing, Ice Bitch."

A long while passed and the present Shinobi were left without any escapees.

Tiburon raised his eyebrow during a long, awkward moment of silence and looked around. "So… What do we do now?"

No one had an answer.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Fun Fact: <em>**_The Avengers came out on DVD today. I totally was waiting at the store at midnight to get it. :D_

Answer: _Probably Saturday. I don't have classes and I get to sleep in. I like Thursdays too because of the same reasons with the added bonus of Naruto episodes._

**QotC:** _What is your opinion on OCs?__  
><em>

_Get ready, lovelies. Next chapter, this trilogy will be done.  
><em>


	73. Chapter 73

_Here it is, ladies and gents._

_Finally, the last chapter of this son of a bitch._

_The Kitty Trilogy is over._

_From 12/29/2010 to today, this story has been in effect._

_It's about time it's over._

_Enjoy if possible._

* * *

><p>"Kisame, Sasuke, do me a favor and go train Tiburon and Cielo for a few hours or at least occupy them." Itachi instructed as the Akatsuki finally returned to the Uchiha compound in Konoha.<p>

Sasuke and Kisame raised their eyebrows as they stopped before the manor with two confused teenagers beside them. "Okay… but why?"

Itachi pulled Alice after him, heading towards the front door. She was wearing Itachi's Akatsuki cloak, having no other clothes to wear. "I have to decontaminate my wife."

"Ew." Tiburon said instantly, making a face of pure disgust. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. I did _not_ need to know that." He covered his ears. "Come on, Cielo. Come on, Sanaa."

Cielo smirked, burying his face into Ash's fur before carrying his furry companion after Tiburon, Sanaa, and Sable.

Sasuke shook his head as Itachi dragged Alice into the house. "Okay, I'm going to find something to do until tomorrow."

Kisame just chuckled and went towards the house beside the manor, intending on bothering Hidan and having a nice, mature conversation with Kakuzu.

"Get some, Momma!" Kathryn cheered while Deidara cackled.

Alice just protested pathetically to being dragged. "Itachi! Wait a minute! I want to slaughter Tiburon's girlfriend! Stop dragging me! I can walk!"

Sasori just stared after them boredly. "You know, I'd call them the most dysfunctional couple ever," he mused, "but then I remember what you two are like."

"Danna!" Kathryn gasped. "That's so mean!"

"And yet so true." Sasori said with mock sadness. "Pity, I was look forward to a sarcastic response. I guess Alice is the only one who truly appreciates mockery and disdain."

Deidara raised his eyebrow when Sasori began walking away. "Where you going Danna, un?"

"To Kakuzu and Hidan's house." Sasori grunted over his shoulder. "I seek intelligent conversation with Kakuzu."

Kathryn and Deidara exchanged a look as Sasori continued on his way. Kathryn cocked her head to the side. "Want to go find Hidan and fuck with people?"

Deidara grinned. "You read my mind, beautiful un."

Deidara scooped Kathryn up before darting away, leaving naught but a yellow and black streak in his wake.

* * *

><p>"So… where did you guys go?" Kōri asked, eyeing Sanaa, Tiburon, and Cielo.<p>

They exchanged glances. "On a mission."

"Classified?" Kasai asked, standing beside Kōri.

"Yep." They said in unison.

Tiburon rubbed the back of his neck. "We're heading home in a few days."

"You are?" Kōri asked curiously.

Sanaa smiled sadly. "Yeah." She grabbed Kōri's hand and squeezed it. "We need to talk about that, actually."

Cielo tossed his arms over Sanaa and Kōri's shoulders casually. "Maybe you should do that at another time."

"Why?" Kōri asked, frowning and releasing Sanaa's hand.

"Because her father is watching you." Cielo said quietly, his eyes fixed on Deidara, Hidan, and Kathryn who were walking over to them.

"Shit." Sanaa whispered.

Tiburon pointed at her. "Swear word!" He sprinted over to Deidara and Kathryn. "Sanaa just said shit!"

Kathryn gasped while Hidan cackled. "Sanaa!"

"I did not!" She protested. "I swear!"

"Liar!" Tiburon accused, pointing at her again. "You said shit!"

Deidara pulled Tiburon into a headlock. "You're not supposed to cuss either, un."

"Cielo, did Sanaa cuss?" Kathryn asked.

Cielo sighed. "Don't bring me into this."

Deidara released Tiburon when he bit him, smirking. Tiburon poked Sanaa's cheek. "You're such a liar, you foul-mouthed little girl."

Sanaa grabbed Tiburon's wrist, smirking.

"Ouch!" Tiburon yelped. "You bit me!"

Her smirk just widened.

Deidara extracted a whining Tiburon from Sanaa's grasp before pulling his daughter into a hug. He rumpled her hair before looking at Kōri. "He better not be who I think he is, un."

Sanaa paled into her father's chest while Cielo and Tiburon froze.

Kōri raised his eyebrow. "Who do you think I am, then?"

Tiburon tackled Kōri. "Kōri! How dare you flick a rock at Sable?!"

Kōri grunted under Tiburon's weight. "I didn't!"

"Yes you did! I saw you." Tiburon growled. He leaned closer to Kōri. "Unless you want to die, play along."

Hidan elbowed Deidara. "Ya know, I think the girl is Tibby's fucking girlfriend. I bet you fucking anything that white haired little shit is Sanaa's boyfriend."

Deidara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Sanaa, un."

Sanaa backed away from him. "Daddy?"

Cielo coughed and nudged Tiburon with his foot. Tiburon grabbed Kōri's wrist while Cielo grabbed Kasai's.

"Run!" Tiburon ordered.

Cielo, Tiburon, and Sanaa vanished from the area, dragging a confused Kōri and Kasai with them. Sable and Ash sat where they were left, looking confused. Sable quickly got over her confusion, satisfied with tackling Hidan to the ground and smothering him with love.

Hidan protested loudly and obscenely.

When they found a good hiding spot, Tiburon put his hands on Kōri's shoulders. "Look man, you'll need to dye your hair and change your name. Gather everything you can carry and leave."

Kōri blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"Kasai, you should go with him." Tiburon advised.

Kasai looked utterly confused.

Cielo walloped Tiburon in the back of the head before looking at the two leaf Chūnin. "Ignore him. Tiburon, shut up."

"What is he ranting about?" Kasai wondered.

"My dad and Tibby's mom are really, really protective and possessive of Tiburon and I. They found out I had a boyfriend and Tibby had a girlfriend the other day and my dad literally blew up the street because he was so mad. Icy is ready to slaughter the first girl that looks at Tibby other than me." Sanaa explained. "My dad saw you and Kasai so he'll probably hunt you down to try and kill you while Icy will be told who Kasai is and well… I'd rather deal with my dad than Icy."

"So what do we do?" Kasai asked, looking at Tiburon.

"There are a few options." Cielo stated. "You either hide until we leave for the base, run away from the village for good, or end your relationships here and now."

Kōri frowned at Cielo. "Why would we do that?"

"I know the four of you. I've been watching you all since you've started dating and I've known Sanaa and Tiburon since I was nine. Your relationships are shit." Cielo deadpanned.

"Hey!" Tiburon protested.

"Shut up and listen to me." Cielo barked. "Tiburon, you hate it when people touch you. You wince and cringe whenever Kasai does more than hold your hand. I know you can't help it, but it obviously means you need to find someone who you are completely comfortable with." He looked to Sanaa. "Sanaa, you hate making your family upset, and you dislike being away from the people you care about. Thus, having Kōri as a boyfriend stresses you out and makes you feel guilty because you're making your dad, Sasori, and Alice mad and you won't be able to handle a long distance relationship."

Sanaa looked down while Tiburon bit his lip and avoided looking at Cielo or Kasai.

"Kōri, you like Sanaa yes, but it's not love. Kasai is your best friend and you seem more comfortable and at ease around her than you do with anyone else. When you're with Sanaa, you try too hard. With Kasai, you can be yourself and you smile more often and it's genuine, not forced." Cielo continued. "Kasai, your infatuation with Tiburon is more fangirl than it is loving. It is obvious to someone like me who stands on the sides and watches you guys to know that Kōri and Kasai truly have feelings for each other while Sanaa and Tiburon love each other."

Kōri stared at him. "That's creepy, Cielo."

"I'm a ninja. It's my job to watch others and analyze their every move until I know everything about them and can use the information I gain as blackmail." Cielo deadpanned.

Kasai looked between Tiburon, Kōri, and Sanaa. "So…"

"I think Cielo has said it for us." Tiburon said stiffly. He looked at Kasai. "As long as it doesn't make you sad, I'm willing to part ways."

"I believe it will be for the best." Kasai agreed. "I'd hug you, but you hate it when people touch you."

Tiburon rolled his eyes. "Just hug me, dork."

Kasai laughed lightly and hugged Tiburon while Sanaa glomped Kōri.

"I'm sorry, Kōri." Sanaa said quietly.

Kōri shrugged, hugging Sanaa back. "Eh, if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be. As long as we're still friends, I don't care."

"Good." She smiled. She released him before grabbing Kasai and dragging her over to Kōri. "Now you two date."

Kasai blushed while Kōri coughed awkwardly.

"Well?" She demanded.

"Okay." They said in unison.

She beamed. "Good."

Cielo elbowed Sanaa. "What about you?"

Sanaa cocked her head to the side. "What about me?"

He looked at Tiburon meaningfully.

Sanaa sighed before jumping on Tiburon's back, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind. "Hey Tibby."

"Hey what?" He asked.

"Now we date?" Sanaa asked.

Tiburon smirked. "Sure."

"Good." She smiled.

"Well this will be significantly less awkward to tell your parents." Cielo concluded. "Which I think we should go do soon before Deidara decides to bring down Konoha whilst hunting for Kōri's head."

"I'm not telling my mom right now." Tiburon declared.

"Why not?" Kasai asked.

Tiburon made a face. "Her and my dad are doing… stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Kōri asked. When Tiburon gave him a look, he frowned. "Oh. That stuff."

Tiburon shuddered. "Yeah. _That stuff_."

**First Person Alice!**

I sighed as I slumped to the kitchen. I flopped in a chair at the table, glaring at a now smug Uchiha who was busying himself with making himself tea. "You're an asshole."

"I had to decontaminate you." He said simply.

I rolled my eyes. "So urgently?"

"Yes."

"And you had to announce it to the world?"

"I would rather not have been disturbed."

"And you call me a pervert."

He shrugged.

"Hey! Are you two done fucking yet?" A voice called.

I slammed my head on the table. "Yes Hidan! We're done fucking."

A few moments later, Hidan came in with Kisame, Deidara, Kathryn, Sasori, and Kakuzu, looking utterly amused.

I glared at them. "What? Like you've never had sex before."

"We usually don't announce it to the world." Kathryn mused.

"Well who asked you?" I demanded. "What do you look so angry about, Deidara?"

Deidara crossed his arms. "I just saw Sanaa's boyfriend and Tibby's girlfriend, un."

I straightened up. "Did you kill them?"

"No, un." He grumbled.

I frowned. "You disappoint me, Deidara."

"You two are dumb."

I looked towards the door to see Tiburon, Sanaa, and Cielo standing there, watching us.

I pointed at Tiburon. "You!"

He stared at me. "Chill mom."

"Bring me her head." I ordered.

"Why would you want to take Sanaa's head?" Tiburon asked.

I blinked. "What?"

Sanaa pouted. "So mean, Icy."

"I want your girlfriend's head, not Sanaa's." I clarified.

Tiburon cocked his head to the side. "Sanaa is my girlfriend."

I pointed again. "Blasphemy! But yay!"

"Awe!" Kathryn cheered. "Yay!"

"He's not lying, Icy." Sanaa giggled.

Sasori rubbed his chin. "I suppose I can live with this."

Deidara just sighed and admitted he could too.

Cielo crossed his arms. "You're welcome."

**Third Person!**

"Yeah, well you're an asshole."

"A wonderful comeback, Alice."

"Shut up, Loofa. Dickhead."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"… Real mature, shit for brains. You lack any sort of aptitude at insults."

"You lack any sort of aptitude for anything."

"I take that back. Your face is pretty insulting."

"Not quite as insulting as yours, however."

"You're right. Mine is perfection. Yours is like looking at a pile of worm infested dog shit."

"… That's so nasty."

"Of course it is. We're talking about your face after all."

"I hate you so much."

"Don't hate me because I'm better than you, Sasori. Don't hate the player, hate the game."

"Nope. Still hate you."

"I'm going to lose so much sleep because of that."

"You should. You're a horrible person."

"Yeah… don't care."

"You don't care or you don't have the mental capacity to comprehend that you're a horrible person."

"Definitely not caring."

"You two are so mean."

"Shut up, Kathryn." Sasori and Alice said in unison.

Sasori and Alice were sitting on opposite ends of the table in the kitchen. Alice sat at one head while Sasori sat at the other. Kathryn, Deidara, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, and Hidan sat between them, looking back and forth between the two of them as they bickered.

Kathryn pouted as Alice and Sasori returned their attention to each other.

"If I was to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide." Alice informed Sasori.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "You know, others say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright."

"True. You _do_ one up me every time when it comes to stupidity."

"I surpass you in everything, Alice."

Alice nodded. "Your record for making other people gag just by looking at them is definitely higher than mine. And you are ten times more stupid than I am."

"How long did it take you to think up that one?" Sasori deadpanned.

"It took me less time to think up that one than it too you to remember to breath, dumbass." Alice countered.

"How creative." Sasori countered. "I've heard that before. You're as unoriginal as a knock-knock joke."

"The only things you ever make are mistakes." Alice replied.

"I'm glad you think so highly of me." Sasori stated.

She shrugged. "I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible."

"I bet you don't even know what vituperation is." He stated.

"Actually, I do." Alice snapped. "Vituperation: bitter and abusive language."

"Your face is bitter and abusive." He countered.

"You are _so_ creative." Alice said boredly.

"Will you two quit it?" Kisame sighed rubbing his head.

"The Bitch lost me at asshole like five minutes ago." Hidan grumbled massaging his temples.

"My brain hurts, un." Deidara whimpered.

Itachi was simply pinching the bridge of his nose as Alice and Sasori just told the others at the table to shut up before sinking their teeth into each other once again. Kakuzu just chuckled and continued looking back and forth, listening to them argue.

"You can always tell when you're lying." Sasori stated, frowning at Alice. "Your lips move."

"I'll have you know that I don't lie. I speak only the truth. Now, why don't you sit down, shut up, and stop breathing and give your mind a rest. I know it overheats when you breathe too much."

"I'm surprised yours hasn't exploded because of the blinking you have been doing."

"Have you ever noticed that Kathryn always kisses your cheek with her eyes closed?" Alice asked. "Considering your face, I don't blame her. In fact, I don't know how she can stand it even with her eyes closed. Talk about 'Lady Killer' they take one look at you and die of fright."

"Don't you realize there are enough people in the world for me to hate without you trying so hard to be one of them?" Sasori growled.

"Hey, why don't you try acting your age, Sasori?" Alice asked. "Senile."

"You truly are the best at what you do." Sasori sighed.

"And what might that be?" Alice wondered.

He glared at her. "Making people hate you."

"Your face inspires me." Alice said dreamily.

"That's not the only thing that inspires you." Sasori said perversely.

"And this is where their argument goes perverted." Kakuzu sighed.

Itachi just rubbed his forehead. "This is going to take a while…"

**First Person Alice!**

Later on that evening…

Itachi and I were in our room, him lounging shirtless on the bed while I stood in front of the long mirror, brushing my hair out before bed. I had my back to him and from the way I was standing, I couldn't see him in the mirror, but I could feel his gaze.

Curious, I turned slightly to glance over my shoulder at him. His Sharingan was activated out of habit and it was fixed on me. His hands were tucked under his head, and he was watching me contently.

"What?" He asked, noticing he had my attention.

"What are you looking at, creep?" I wondered.

He cocked his head to the side slightly. "You."

"Pervert." I accused.

"Is it against the law for me to look at my wife?" He questioned rhetorically.

"You're weird." I informed him.

He smirked. "You love me for it."

"It is one of the many reasons why I am so madly in love with you." I agreed. "Even though you're a huge dork."

He continued to stare at me for a time. "You are so beautiful."

I smiled to myself. "And you're sexy."

"Let us not point out the obvious here." He advised. "Come. Your hair looks perfect."

I tossed the brush away and trailed across the room towards him. I climbed on the bed before climbing over him and finding a comfortable position, my chest on his, my lips on his, and my arms wrapped around his neck. He pulled his hands from under his head to thread his fingers through my hair and smooth it out over my back.

I pulled away from him before rubbing my nose against his. "I love you."

"And I love you." He assured me, brushing a loose strand of hair off of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked.

He tilted his head to the side in confusion, looking utterly adorable. "Do? Now?"

"We're at peace and we don't have two boys to raise for much longer. What do we do now that we're finally at peace with almost full grown sons?" I questioned him.

He watched me for a time. "We can always make more."

"You really are a pervert." I decided. "I'm serious, Itachi."

"So am I." He admitted simply, tapping my nose lightly with his index finger. "We still have a few years before Cielo and Tiburon are adults. As long as you are with me, I don't care what we do." He kissed me fully. "As long as I have you and the boys, I will be content forever."

"Sounds good to me, babe." I smiled and kissed him back. "I always knew you Uchiha were smart. Not only do you have good genes, you're smart too. Jackpot."

He stroked my hair chuckling. "I love you."

"And I you." I agreed. "Forever."

"Always." He added.

We sat like that together for a time before a crash sounded from somewhere in the house.

"Mom!" Tiburon whined. His complaint was abruptly cut off.

"Whatever he tells you is a lie, Alice!" Sasuke called.

Kisame could be heard laughing loudly.

"Will you assholes shut the fuck up?!" Hidan roared from somewhere.

"Be quiet you fool." Sasori scolded just as loudly.

"Alice!" Cielo called. "Tiburon just consumed the entire jar of sugar!"

"I did not!" Tiburon protested.

"I said fucking shut it!" Hidan repeated.

Tiburon did not approve. "Shut your big ass mouth, Hidan-oji before I come out there and put my foot in it!"

"You little _shit!_" Hidan growled.

A couple of crashes sounded again and we heard Hidan swearing loudly and Tiburon shouting obscenities as they wrestled.

I sighed and dropped my head, allowing it to land on Itachi's sturdy chest. "Fuck. So much for peaceful."

He chuckled. "It's a good thing the Akatsuki don't put much stock in the word 'peace'."

The sad thing is truer words had never been spoken.

Peace and the Akatsuki don't go hand in hand.

And to think I had first found them as kittens on my doorstep and after years of pain, anger, happiness, love, loss, and just plain awesomeness, here we were.

At first I thought I would miss the kitties and the fact that I could get my way by tossing some cold water on them. But after seeing them as the ninjas they truly were first hand, I had to appreciate the character not being a cat had given them and I only learned to love them all the more.

Now over fifteen years later, I have the Akatsuki plus Sasuke, Tiburon, Cielo, Sanaa, Sable, Ash, Konoha, and the other villages and their awesome Shinobi.

Screw the kitties.

I'm allergic to cats anyways.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fun Fact: <strong>__Since the start of this story up until now, I've had a total of, at most, five negative reviews out of the 4,740+ reviews. I've had at least two people try and steal my stuff and numerous people make me fanart and fan stories. And I have had countless fans supporting this story and enjoy it._

_Just goes to show how insane all of you are for liking this story._

_Alice would be proud._

Answer: _My opinion on OCs is rather… Different. I typically dislike stories with OCs because I prefer the cannon characters. Now, I know that's a little hypocritical because well… Hello Alice. But to be honest, Alice (and Kathryn) is the main factor behind my dislike of my own story. To be honest, I wouldn't read this story if I hadn't written it myself. Yes, I love the humor that Alice and Kathryn bring, but no matter how developed an OC is in a story, there is always hints of Mary Sue in them. I don't give a shit how many flaws it has, what gender, how many tests you've put your character through to disprove that it's a Mary Sue, anything. If you have a main character that is an OC in your story, there is bound to be some Mary Sue qualities and while that's supposed to be horrible and bad, it's just how it is. Alice, in all of the tests I've but her through, is the Anti-Sue. However, she does have Mary Sue qualities because she is in a setting that isn't her own. Put her back in her own story and she's the insane side character that drives the main character up a wall._

_So, if your character has little to no flaws, has a predictable past/personality, is OP, is super sexy and has the attention of everyone, falls in love to quickly, has no conflict with anything, or stays the same throughout the story, I hate them._

**QotC: **_If you could go back and change one thing about this story, doesn't matter what it is, what would it be and why? How would you alter it?_

_No, I will not be making more of this story. Any extra chapters I have or ever will do will be like oneshots and will be treated as such. No, I will not write about Team Sasuke in their later years._

_If _**you** _want to write a story about them and whatnot, you'll have to ask me but odds are I'll give you permission as long as you credit me. And for your information, two people are writing multichapter continuous stories based off of this one. (Tori-da-Mutt and xdreamernumbuhfour)_

_**More Facts:**_

_Cielo doesn't get a girlfriend. He becomes an ANBU agent and ambassador for Pein in Alice's place by the age of 14 (Tibby is in ANBU too). When he turns 18, he leaves the Akatsuki and returns to Ame to be Pein's voice/ambassador, and the head of his clan. He eventually has a wife and has two children; a daughter named Alice and a son named Sasuke. Alice and his old team visit frequently._

_Sanaa went on to learn medical Ninjutsu from Sakura and eventually becomes a Jōnin instructor. She and Tiburon get married and will eventually grow up to replace their fathers in the Akatsuki._

_Alice and Itachi discover the key to immortality and share it with all of their friends, the kids, and everyone else who is important just because. _

_Tiburon and his father are still addicted to sweets._

_And they all live happily ever after._

_The end._


End file.
